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The Grand Old Party is over for New York's young Republicans, who spent last night crying in their vintage cognac as they mourned the end of the Bush era and quaked in fear over the prospect of an Obama presidency. "I have no idea what's to come," said Amy Noakes, 26, as she and about 100 other conservatives commiserated at Ice Bar in Murray Hill. "It's going to be more like socialism than capitalism." Noakes and her fellow GOPers talked of a political apocalypse at the penultimate New York Young Republican's Club meeting to be held before Barack Obama's inauguration on Jan. 20. "I'm trying to savor the last days of capitalism," said Cathy Reno, 23, as she bitterly sipped a three-olive martini. "I fear Obama's inexperience, and that we have no idea what his worldview is." "I'm hiding all my guns where Barry can't find them," added Villamor Asuncion, 26, referring to Obama's old nickname in high school. Grad student Michael Pocelinko, 22, agreed. "I'm buying as many guns as possible, and I'm enjoying the last days of national security while I can." Others worried about the fate of their money in the hands of a man they see as the lowest of the low - a tax-and-spend liberal. "I'm divesting all equity before the capital-gains tax goes up," said Jeff Miller, 25. Miller anticipated a return to Franklin D. Roosevelt's big-government polices of the last Depression. "I fear a repeat of the bad tax effects of the New Deal and a gross overreaction to the current economic issues," he said. "I fear overinflating wages and prices. It would lead to a huge unemployment boom." Some tried to keep a stiff upper lip, claiming that they really didn't care that their candidate lost and that eight years of Republican rule was coming to an end. "I could give two s- - - s about the inauguration. I could care less," said Allie Nigolian, 25. "I don't get Obama; I don't buy it. People are gonna realize that he's full of s- - -."
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# ¿ Jan 10, 2009 12:20 |
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# ¿ Apr 19, 2024 03:25 |
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griffiti posted:how is it even possible to still hold this viewpoint she doesn't have time for that she had to learn to distribute fashion
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# ¿ Jan 10, 2009 12:39 |
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i went to a jesuit school we didn't say the pledge of allegiance (not hardcore enough; instead we said a prayer which literally asked god to take our free will away)
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# ¿ Jan 10, 2009 18:06 |
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Infrateal posted:Dental care. Dental care. He said it would include dental care. He's socializing my teeth. Oh my God, oh my God. I reach into my mouth with both hands and grasp a left lower bicuspid. It feels warm and very hard, with a very slight hint of slimy. I have to stop him. I have to, have to duplicate my teeth. The clay is wet in my hands. Wet and sloppy, Jan and Tigger and hubby and me took our claws and scrabbled out dirt from the back of our homestead until we hit the moist gold beneath the playset and grass and loam. We live in fear of the thugs but they cannot take away our right to make a child, not forever; I am a mother, I will find a way. Nature cannot be denied! Reb Moshe is in our basement and we are all so grateful to him just like the little man is to us. He is here because his homeland was destroyed. Even now on my daughter's Facebook I see that Qassam rockets are coming in from Houston. It is an encroaching danger but we are making our son strong so he will be able to face them. The ACLU said that it was a hate crime to produce children in the natural way. Well I am a mother and a natural midwife and my determination will not be unanswered. I speak the terrible Kabbalistic rites and beg the Lord to forgive and save me. Dear Jesus do not allow this golem to become a dhimmi.
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# ¿ Jan 12, 2009 04:32 |
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WASILLA, AK - An medical entrepreneur was dragged out of her house yesterday and beaten by government thugs, whom we all fear. She had a small workshop in her room where she made goods and services for people who felt down. They felt good but the Obama people came in, knock knock, dragged her out by the hair, beat her with batons. Her husband could not defend her because he no longer had ten guns. He was only allowed one and so the jacked boots were able to beat his initiative. "Mom always wanted to patent her technique with Draino and Tylenol," sobbed her son, Levi. "But when they got rid of intellectual property that became impossible. Now nobody wants to invent anything and there's no music I can download." A black tie funeral for the American Dream is being held Tuesday.
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# ¿ Jan 12, 2009 04:39 |
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The RaptureClock is Full of poo poo Here's a laugh: those of you who follow these sort of things know that Dan Engler's RaptureClock is currently set "five minutes to midnight," meaning that he thinks there's "a 75-80% chance" (note the lamely imprecise figure) of rapture within the next twelve months. Actually, the chance is 72.2%, well outside of Engler's range. How could he be so laughably wrong? The short answer is that he doesn't really understand how the number values of hebrew and greek alpha characters match up with each other, but it's a lot more complicated than that. (I also note that he hasn't incorporated the tragedy in Portland into his model.) More below the jump: There's More... -- Nate Silver at 4:13 AM 273 Comments... Labels: biblical prophecy, economics, numerology, peak oil
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# ¿ Jan 12, 2009 05:10 |
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Chad popped the third and final olive into his mouth, deliberating. Christ, this party was lame. Nonono, he was lame. He had to break out of his lame nice-guy behavior and go alpha. After all, Cindy wasn't a nice girl, he reminded himself. He mentally practiced it in the affirmative mode: she is a filthy slut and despite all appearances she wants to give me a beej, a big, sloppy blowjob tonight and almost certainly more. No, Cindy wasn't a nice girl at all; in fact, quite frankly, Cindy was kind of a bitch. It was she, after all, who finally shut down Campus Crusade for Christ's political overtures in favor of the Objectivist Club; Chad hadn't seen why everyone couldn't operate freely - wasn't it a free country? (or - the forbidden, niggerish thought crossed his mind again - didn't it used to be?) - but evidently some people thought differently. She would do anything to get to the top but oh God he wanted her, wanted her to get to the top of him, heh, hold her in his arms and own her like she wanted. Girls want alpha males. He could be it if he just opened this set right. "Hi, Cindy," he said, proceeding flawlessly into his neg: "that's an awfully nice sundress you have. It looks like something one of the prettier hippie girls would wear." He braced himself for her reaction. There wasn't any. She just kept on talking with her friends. Tyler strode up to them. Tyler had beat him for Treasurer. Tyler was about to gently caress his target. No. A caveman wouldn't have allowed this, it was like letting Hamas set up a cell in your own room, it was wrong. He transposed himself between Tyler and the HB 8 (maybe 8.5 if she weren't such a bitch.) "Um, excuse me, I think you're trying to talk to my woman." Tyler didn't react either. A terrible thought entered Chad's mind: two, in fact: the first was the fear he'd had since 7th grade that everyone would always think he looked like Squirtle. He didn't know why that hopped into his head at that particular point. But he saw himself from the outside, perhaps, because nobody else would. That was the second thought: My god, everyone is ignoring me. And at that moment, he realized, that he had found enlightenment: they were all going to be ignored. This is what was going to happen. They would all go out and apply for jobs at banks and be treated no better than the common friend of the family. And you couldn't neg your way into to the real world any more, not after that, not after what was coming. He could feel it in his bones, in his rapidly shriveling boner.
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# ¿ Jan 12, 2009 05:36 |
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Infrateal posted:Michael Pocelinko, 22. Twenty-two years of dumb thoughts buouyed by a filial geyser of cash. Michael Pocelinko was turning crafty now, though, riding that geyser to new heights, gazing at the arrayed countryside with greasy perspicacity. is it improper to 5 one's own thread for a post not one's own
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# ¿ Jan 12, 2009 05:39 |
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Bootstamps posted:is it improper to 5 one's own thread for a post not one's own seriously though i think this may have been the best post i've ever read outside of ingwit's ultimate hustlliad
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# ¿ Jan 12, 2009 05:43 |
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Infrateal posted:haha thanks, but props to you for a good OP. Didn't you used to be oligopsony? because if so your effortpost when Buckley died was AMAZING. yeah that was a ton of fun to write and I still feel terrible and lazy for never doing the coulter and goldberg posts that that thread deserved now go make more posts slave
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# ¿ Jan 12, 2009 05:48 |
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It was a small, raggedy town, like a million others that dotted the country that used to be America. We all engaged in our cutting-edge technology - you know, churning butter, excavating guns, that kind of thing. Not much has happened here. Not much gives us hope - the hope we need to plant our fields each year, the hope we need to still marry and raise our kids right. Not after the mushroom clouds were seen on the horizons. Not after the brown hordes went raping everything in sight, leaving us with the terrible choice between abortion and a generation of mulattoes. But we have hope enough to endure, endure as good people, even if we don't get it every day. I remember - must have been five years ago, nobody much keeps time any more - a woman came by here on a horse, called herself Reno. Told us about the old Roman saying, how the clothes make the man - and showed us some of the most beautiful clothes we'd ever seen. Clothes with letters on them, or with pockets, upon which had been sewn the silhoette of an animal. She'd come, she said, to distribute fashion. But we all knew she'd come to distribute hope.
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# ¿ Jan 12, 2009 05:57 |
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TO: Miller Financial Grp. SUBJECT: pls ignore that last email FROM: Jeffery Miller, Sr. christ, my son is an idiot. liquify all our assets??? with what's about to happen? no, you morons. here's a realistic assessment. yes yes yes take everything we have and sell it. but buy up canned foods manufacturers, out-of-country arms dealerships, white robes, duct tape. buy gold, I cannot tell you how many pamphlets emphasize this. also please grab up shares of kentucky fried chicken, cadillac, hennessy, united grill corporation, &c. I don't know what company manufactures red tape but BUY THEM. other investors haven't yet moved on the obvious here; it's our duty to beat them ------------------------------------------ Do you YAHOO? Get the best in email today!
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# ¿ Jan 12, 2009 06:25 |
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I could give two shits about the inauguration. I could care less. I just don't give a gently caress about Obama. I don't care about him. I don't think about his stupid face. Do you want to know the depths of my apathy towards this thoroughly disgusting man? I don't give two shits about him. I don't even give one poo poo, not even zero shits. Imagine a poo poo that could not be, a poo poo that does not exist. Suppose the thought of my letting out a great cosmic Cleaveland Steamer on the chest of America: Barack Obama, I do not give you that thought. It is not yours. Do you understand the concept? That something is mine, and not yours? I shudder at the thought. You will tax even my dreams, place a tarrif even upon my scatalogy. I do not give negative shits about you, Obama. Imagine me sitting down upon a toilet seat to swallow up inside me the turds dwelling in the toilet, waiting there, for me, not you. That is the extent of my not giving you anything; you cannot have it. It is a peice of my soul you will not possess - get your hands off of my woman and my guns and my money and my mind, Barack Obama; it is a simple thing that I request; I am a humble person, but my anger, when roused, is as the mighty hurricane, as the noble timber wolf. But that anger is not roused yet. I don't give a gently caress about Barack Obama. I don't give negative fucks. Imagine my virgity was seeping back into me; I could not give that experience to Barack Obama. People have said many things about my virginity but one thing they will never, ever say is that it was given to Barack Obama. I don't give a flying hoot about your inauguration, don't you see? I'm not like the others. I'm not reeled in by your fancy words or you rock-star looks. I am not fawning over your carved cheeks, your aristocratic face, I am not at this moment curled up sobbing on my bed with tissues and the copy of US WEEKLY with your Hawaiian chest and eucalpygian whatever on the cover. I do not want to give you zero fucks, Obama. Zero fucks is not what I want to give to you.
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# ¿ Jan 12, 2009 07:17 |
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"And now, as we begin the Inauguration Week, I'd like to welcome a very special friend to usher in our new era," said the President-Elect. "He may not express his love to his fellow man like you or I do, but I can assure you that he loves God with all his heart. We must be an inclusive people if we are to be worthy of the years ahead. People of America, please stand as Gene here - with his friend Booey - gives the benediction." A balding white man - he had the face of a middle manager, but the puckish smile of a young boy - strode onto the stage, and a dozen catcalls erupted from the crowd. O my. This wasn't what Natalie had expected at all. What religion forced its clergy to wear leather (vegan pleather, actually) chaps, chains, and a giant tatoo saying "CHANGE?" But still she had to learn to be tolerant. Authority figures seemed to be saying that more and more these days, as if in a premonition. Another man was dressed as an altar boy, sans some of the being dressed, Rvd. Robinson carried him around on a chain. "Our blessed father - our go go daddie - you great big bear in the sky, you..." Oh, oh, she tried to be tolerant, but she just couldn't help but shut it out. Their new cleric simulated oral sex on the stage and talked about hope, and he whipped "Booey" and talked about change, and he produced a hamster and said that if they really wanted to know what was up ahead, they had best grab their ankles, because it was time for communion, and that the flesh of The One would soon be in all their mouths.
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# ¿ Jan 13, 2009 00:41 |
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Veinor posted:The Heritage Foundation disputes this claim, attributing the effect to cyclical variations in the universe's expansion and pointing out that "the universe can't be shrinking; after all, I haven't gotten any shorter or skinnier." The Heritage Foundation spokesperson then raised his left eyebrow and smirked. loll
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# ¿ Jan 13, 2009 02:41 |
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Infrateal posted:Oligopsony fucked around with this message at 03:50 on Jan 13, 2009 |
# ¿ Jan 13, 2009 03:47 |
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# ¿ Apr 19, 2024 03:25 |
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The Shadow out of Time
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# ¿ Jan 13, 2009 03:50 |