grognards.txt

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Stuntman Mike: Apr 14, 2007; The saucer people are coming!

I dunno if this has been posted before in this 200-page monstrosity, but its pretty drat grognardy anyway:

DA MOST POWERFUL CHARACTER EVER

a grognard posted:

Pun-Pun, Divine Minion 1/Wizard 1/Master of Many Forms 3

Divine Minion 1.
Wizard 1. Endurance, Alertness (through viper familiar)
Master of Many Forms 1.
Master of Many Forms 2. Assume Supernatural Ability
Master of Many Forms 3.

The Fast Wildshape ability of the Divine Minion allows Pun-Pun to wildshape as an 11th level druid. The 3 levels in Master of Many forms stack with the Fast Wildshape ability of the Divine Minion to allow Pun-Pun to assume the form of a Monstrous Humanoid with up to 14 HD, like the Sarruhk (note the errata on Master of Many Forms here, in the Complete Adventurer link).

Pun-Pun wildshapes into a Sarruhk and uses Assume Supernatural Ability (Savage Species) to use the Manipulate Form ability. He uses Manipulate Form to bestow that very same ability (Manipulate Form) to his viper familiar.

Pun-Pun dismisses his Sarruhk form, and orders the familiar to grant him the Manipulate Form ability, using Manipulate Form of course. Since Pun-Pun is a pathetic Kobold, he qualifies as a Scaled One (though a human or other creature could simply Wild Shape into a form that qualifies as a Scaled One). Pun-Pun now has the strongest ability in the game.

[...]

For the most part, when I refer to abilities possessed by Pun-Pun, I refer to abilities that already exist in a WoTC published sourcebook. The ability is either one seen in a base class or prestige class, or one seen in a monster stat block. However, the wording in the Manipulate Form text does not limit one to published abilities only. In fact, the descriptive text states that any ability can be granted, so long as it is Supernatural, Extraordinary, or Spell-like in nature.

Allowing one the means to obtain most any ability found in published material is certainly broken. Allowing one to grant itself any ability it can conceive is ridiculousness beyond words. Basically, nothing is beyond the power of Pun-Pun, due to unrestrictive text in Manipulate Form.

# ¿ Jan 26, 2010 16:40

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# ¿ Apr 25, 2024 16:38

Stuntman Mike: Apr 14, 2007; The saucer people are coming!

NinjaDebugger posted:

Dude, this guy is behind the times. Pun Pun has been accomplished as a level 1 character.

It is from 2005, to be fair.

# ¿ Jan 26, 2010 16:45

Stuntman Mike: Apr 14, 2007; The saucer people are coming!

chelsea clinton posted:

I have a lot of dragonborn porn. Are you going to make something out of it?

Hey, its better than plain-ol' dragon porn.

Edit: Hehe, Dragonborn, Dragonporn. :v:

# ¿ Jan 28, 2010 16:06

Stuntman Mike: Apr 14, 2007; The saucer people are coming!

Etherwind posted:

I refuse to believe this actually exists.

Seriously? For realsies? Or is this post bait to get someone to post some? :colbert:

# ¿ Jan 28, 2010 16:53

Stuntman Mike: Apr 14, 2007; The saucer people are coming!

Etherwind posted:

I honestly don't believe there'd be enough of a furry community focused on D&D to produce masses of dragonborn porn.

This is the second result on Google Search (not even image search) for "dragonborn porn", with safesearch ON. Tame in comparison to what else is out there, perhaps, but its only the beginning.

http://maelora.deviantart.com/art/Dragonborn-and-Tiefling-115046347

I'm sorry :suicide:

# ¿ Jan 28, 2010 16:59

Stuntman Mike: Apr 14, 2007; The saucer people are coming!

Joudas posted:

You're deluded then, man. The cross section between those two communities is huge. A furries whole life is like an extended character creation process.

simply typing "dragonborn" into deviantArt search even throws up ANIME FURRY DRAGONBORN PORN on the first page :gonk:

# ¿ Jan 28, 2010 17:17

Stuntman Mike: Apr 14, 2007; The saucer people are coming!

Angry Diplomat posted:

I was actually pretty fond of that character because she was hilarious but yes, rangers and druids, chicks always want animal companions for some reason

100% true. A bunch of my friends and I started a game a few weeks back (our first actually, except the DM who's played a bunch before), MY GIRLFRIEND among them, and she's playing a druid. With a horse companion animal.

She's actually not that crazy of a player - yet :v:

# ¿ Jan 30, 2010 17:15

Stuntman Mike: Apr 14, 2007; The saucer people are coming!

Android Blues posted:

Horses are awesome. You can ride a horse and they are sweet and can kick stuff if they need to kick stuff. They are also much easier to feed than your wolves and your panthers!

That's what she does - she rides it around Shillelagh-ing orcs and poo poo. It is actually devestating, she does insane damage and can chase down anything on the map.

# ¿ Jan 31, 2010 05:35

Stuntman Mike: Apr 14, 2007; The saucer people are coming!

Ashenai posted:

Yeah, I can think of a grand total of two well-known monsters in D&D that aren't stolen from mythology or literature,

Ankhegs

Edit: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sources_and_influences_on_the_development_of_Dungeons_&_Dragons#Beholder :colbert:

Stuntman Mike fucked around with this message at 19:03 on Feb 1, 2010

# ¿ Feb 1, 2010 18:46

Stuntman Mike: Apr 14, 2007; The saucer people are coming!

Magic Kingdom For Sale - Sold! was the best book series of my elementary school years. God drat, Terry Brooks was a genius.

# ¿ Feb 2, 2010 05:32

Stuntman Mike: Apr 14, 2007; The saucer people are coming!

This is why 4e is awesome - it takes about 2 seconds to flavor a one-handed fighter to be any number of things, including badass Spartan shield warrior who bashes the gently caress out of people.

In 3.5e it takes like 4 extra feats from 3 different books just to shield bash for 1d8 as an off-hand attack while keeping your shield AC. Even as a Ranger its a lovely build in 3.5e.

# ¿ Feb 3, 2010 18:51

Stuntman Mike: Apr 14, 2007; The saucer people are coming!

Drox posted:

If I were a DM with this character I would start putting in a lot of enemies wearing earplugs.

gently caress that poo poo, load up the undead and mindless enemies. Bard can suck on mummy cock with his +199 Diplomacy. :smug:

# ¿ Feb 3, 2010 21:03

Stuntman Mike: Apr 14, 2007; The saucer people are coming!

Hodgepodge posted:

Even amoung collectors, there are those who still play with their transformers.

I can understand both approaches, but really, if you're a grown up who has toys, you may as well play with them.

On the other hand, once I hit about 9, my lego wasn't for playing anymore, it was for building elaborate dioramas and frozen-action scenes that NOBODY WAS ALLOWED TO TOUCH EVER.

I would have sprayed an aerosol adhesive over some of those scenes if I'd had the wherewithal.

# ¿ Feb 6, 2010 00:18

Stuntman Mike: Apr 14, 2007; The saucer people are coming!

On Saturday my group and I had another session. We were near the end of invading the camp of an Orc band that was loving over this town, standard sidequest deal. We had intel that the orcs had around 12 warriors plus their leader, and the rest were civilian orcs. Once we get to the main camp I figured we'd just stroll into the clearing and see what's what. But the rest of my party was a little skittish, they were worried there'd be a gazillion orcs waiting to ambush us.

We argued back and forth, and then I finally said:

There's no more than 3 or 4 orcs in there, tops. We have good intel that the tribe had about a dozen warriors, and we've killed ELEVEN of them. Unless they've been breeding super-fast in the one day we've been in the forest, we're gonna be fine.

Then to the DM I say:

I want to roll Knowledge: Nature to see if I know what the typical Orc gestation period is. If its more than 2 hours, we're going in.
:goonsay:

I wasn't serious, but drat did I feel nerdy afterwards.

# ¿ Feb 8, 2010 17:14

Stuntman Mike: Apr 14, 2007; The saucer people are coming!

Angry Diplomat posted:

that sounds pretty reasonable though because what if your party's paladin was killing the new orc babies but one of them was a rape baby and it was only half-orc and then he lost his powers when he killed it?? this is serious mature stuff here man.

Yes but the scenario of the super-fast-breeding orc warriors assumes that they are born fully grown, so the paladin isn't faced with the rape-baby conundrum.

:suicide:

# ¿ Feb 8, 2010 17:28

Stuntman Mike: Apr 14, 2007; The saucer people are coming!

Angry Diplomat posted:

but what if one of them was a half-orc baby!! the orcs are okay because they are always chaotic evil so a paladin can always kill any orc and it's fine but a half orc is not always evil what if the just born adult half orc warrior is neutral because the orcs didn't put evil in him yet? the paladin will fall

fuuuuuuuuuuuuuck

# ¿ Feb 8, 2010 17:44

Stuntman Mike: Apr 14, 2007; The saucer people are coming!

Maddman posted:

I just want my game to be realistic.

Then males would have -4 CHA for pimply pizza-faces, -2 STR for being out-of-shape, and +1 CON for being able to eat nothing but cheetos and Mountain Dew for weeks without dying.

# ¿ Feb 10, 2010 21:11

Stuntman Mike: Apr 14, 2007; The saucer people are coming!

Turing sex machine posted:

Also in my search for grognard I found this interesting point:

I'm not sure I know how I feel about that. It sounds apt, but...its a trick somehow. It has to be.

# ¿ Feb 13, 2010 00:50

Stuntman Mike: Apr 14, 2007; The saucer people are coming!

Ghrengis Khan posted:

Why is it that every time I see a picture of a D&D group, there's always one guy with a ponytail? I'm not against long hair on men per, but you're not Steven Seagal, you're John Turturro in Lebowski.

Actually I am Steven Seagal :smug:

But yeah I know what you mean. I rocked the ponytail for about 2 years and I look back now and I just think "god, really? I thought that looked good?"

It doesn't. It never does.

# ¿ Feb 13, 2010 19:54

Stuntman Mike: Apr 14, 2007; The saucer people are coming!

Yessod posted:

I considered doing a fantasy setting based on Testament but using normal DnD races to do a game with the idea that the PCs are playing dwarven Israelites out adventuring / trading with the heathens in the hopes of winning a bride price. Then I realised I'd have to explain "Okay, so you guys are playing short, hook nosed, bearded jews and you're out doing whatever you can to get money. That's my idea for the campaign." Yeah.

I'm Jewish and I'd play that campaign. the Old Testament is a goldmine of good D&D campaign ideas :v:

"You awaken to find yourselves in a cell, without any of your equipment. The slavemaster opens the cage door and chains you together - another day in the labor camp building the pharaoh's pyramid. What do you do?

:suicide:

# ¿ Feb 15, 2010 22:20

Stuntman Mike: Apr 14, 2007; The saucer people are coming!

homerlaw posted:

It is as I said

Raping: When a weapon of this sort scores a
successful critical hit, it is masked by a powerful illusion
in the form of a living phallus, as it pumps magically
created semen into the wound. This inflicts 2d4
temporary Constitution and Dexterity damage to the
victim, as well as causing nausea if a successful Fortitude
save (DC 14) is not made. A raping weapon must be a
piercing weapon.
Caster Level: 10th; Prerequisites: Craft Magic
Arms and Armor, impregnate, major image; Market
Price: +3 bonus.

aaaaaaa

# ¿ Feb 17, 2010 22:38

Stuntman Mike: Apr 14, 2007; The saucer people are coming!

FedkaTheConvict posted:

Water Breathing + Waterskin + Small Funnel = instant rebreather

This is actually genius and I'm going to use this in my campaign.

Wait its me etc

# ¿ Apr 7, 2010 16:23

Stuntman Mike: Apr 14, 2007; The saucer people are coming!

I was in a game store last week and they had a "Friday Night Magic" type thing going on, tables set up in the back and all. The ratio of players was about 4:1 ten-year-old kids to over-30-year-old fat guys. It was a little sad.

Turing sex machine posted:

now I play D&D ~~it has a great community which is much more open to rules change~~ with a great group of friends and we don't take it too seriously.

# ¿ Apr 10, 2010 01:44

Stuntman Mike: Apr 14, 2007; The saucer people are coming!

Tied to that, I never really liked the notion that if you were over level 4 you were better than 95% of everyone you'd ever meet, like Michael Jordan on crack standing next to a world full of 5-year-olds.

# ¿ Apr 10, 2010 17:53

Stuntman Mike: Apr 14, 2007; The saucer people are coming!

RagnarokAngel posted:

...how do you know this? Do you work for russia?

That's how I would write the story...

Which is all it is, a story. It wasn't a secret assassination.

Probably.

# ¿ Apr 11, 2010 19:07

Stuntman Mike: Apr 14, 2007; The saucer people are coming!

Angry Diplomat posted:

^^^ basically this. I mean jesus guys if russia wanted to blow up half the polish government they probably wouldn't go the capering supervillain route and do it in their own airspace, on the anniversary of a different evil thing the russians did to poland

Or did they do exactly that so we'd think that so we would be THROWN OFF THE TRAIL!

Also, they have a weather machine that made the weather poor to make it look like an accident :colbert:

# ¿ Apr 11, 2010 19:36

Stuntman Mike: Apr 14, 2007; The saucer people are coming!

AxeManiac posted:

Hey great, please stop talking about rape everyone, or else take it to the rape sub forum.

ADTRW?

Speaking of grognards:

quote:

These are just some thoughts I had the other day... I'm wondering how other DM's define the power of magic?

To understand the nature of magic one must first comprehend the nature of the great wheel. Time is the mechanism that keeps the great wheel of The Planes turning. As time moves, things change. The relationship of time and change is measured with age. Time is a constant omnipresent force, or rather, the relationship of change to the passage of time is constant.

Nothing on the great wheel is permanent. Time changes all eventually and the breadth of time itself is inconceivable. The planes were not always as they are known now, nor will they always be. It is likely that the planes shrink and grow and merge in every possible way. It is also likely that innumerable variations of the planes will exist, and have existed.

Magic is the antithesis of time. Magic creates, magic changes, magic destroys when it can at the will of those that manipulate it. Magic should not be confused with the spark of life, light and dark, the substance of the soul, or part of the nature of good and evil. Magic is apart from all those things, and also part of all those things because just as energy and matter never disappear magic merely changes form.

Think of a rock. That rock was not always a rock. A rock is made up of other things in a different state and combination then they were before. A rock can cease to be a rock. It can crumble to dust or melt into magma but as a rock it can only be a rock. A rock will not grow into a tree but a seed can. A seed is alive and therefore designed to grow, live and die when conditions permit it. Likewise the rock only came to be when conditions permitted it to form over time and it will not change again until time passes or something changes it. This understanding of things living and not living as we know them, does not apply to magic.

Magic is a unique form of energy that exist in all things. Magic bonds everything to everything else. It is invisible and intangible and amorphic. It can be anything at anytime but it will not always exist as it was or could be. A magic rock is still a rock, and just as the rock can only exist in certain circumstances for an impermanent amount of time so will the magic in the rock.

Magic can be used in innumerable ways by anyone with knowledge of spellcraft. No being is immune to magic entirely or live apart from magic because magic is everywhere, and part of all things. The force of magic is invisible and intangible and undeniably powerful. In some ways magic is like a living force. It can grow stronger, or weaken, when other magic is added to it. Magic can be used to block other magic, absorb other magic, or change other magic.

There are some questions about magic that will probably never be answered. Does magic exist as part of something else outside the great wheel? Is magic finite like energy and matter seem to be? Only the gods may know, and it is not likely that they can comprehend everything because they are merely ascendant versions of the mortals they once were.

No being, or god, has lived long enough to watch a world form and dissapear. The origins of the planes, magic, and time itself will forever be a mystery. Most believe they intimate a design of a supreme power. However If you believe in free will, then surely those beings that think for themselves have some impact on the nature of the great wheel. Or If you believe in destiny you could say that everything that was and will be has already been anticipated by the creator and nothing you do will ever change your fate.

Regardless of its origin, the nature of magic is still largely unknown. Commonly held theories about magic in its various forms are at best quaint observations. There is no difference in arcane and divine magic other then the means to summon it. Faith and spellcraft are more or less equally daunting disciplines to master.

Magic does change form in a sense. It is believed that compressed magic, like that in magical items, is unpredictable. A magic artifact for instance will actually gain strange properties or powers it never had after enough time passes, especially those with sentient personalities. Crenshinibon is a good example of such an artifact. In truth magical consciousness is barely understood and likely unwise to experiment with too much. For now sentient magical consciousness is always bound to an item, but perhaps someday these beings (if you can call them that) will break free of these bonds. What would happen then?

It is also unknown if magic will change the longer it stagnates in any one place. The bounds of control that spellcraft offers is obviously an imperfect science, and Wild Magic is just one of many awful side-effects of failed experiments.

Stuntman Mike fucked around with this message at 18:40 on Apr 15, 2010

# ¿ Apr 15, 2010 18:37

Stuntman Mike: Apr 14, 2007; The saucer people are coming!

Turing sex machine posted:

Click here for the full 670x680 image.

Wow, you've got mine beat. Is that from the BoEF?

# ¿ Apr 15, 2010 23:41

Stuntman Mike: Apr 14, 2007; The saucer people are coming!

Phuzzy posted:

Look at this motherfucker. Ray Szmanda is your Home Improvement God.

That loving carved wood eagle is badass. I'd put that in my basement man-dungeon, right beside my DM throne so I can stroke its head like Dr. Evil when I roll well.

# ¿ Apr 19, 2010 21:53

Stuntman Mike: Apr 14, 2007; The saucer people are coming!

crime fighting hog posted:

I thought I knew a good deal about the realms because I'm a huge nerd, but what's this Wall he keeps talking about?

Wall of the Faithless. What you get mortared into for eternity if you don't get scooped up by your patron deity (should you have one) when you die.

# ¿ Apr 21, 2010 04:56

Stuntman Mike: Apr 14, 2007; The saucer people are coming!

Who actually enjoyed adventuring in the Demiplane of Salt. Be honest guys.

# ¿ Apr 21, 2010 22:40

Stuntman Mike: Apr 14, 2007; The saucer people are coming!

NorgLyle posted:

Perhaps the same could be said of [/i]all pre-4th editions[/i]...

I'm a 3.5 player, and I never play games above level 10 or 12. Gets too crazy.

# ¿ Apr 23, 2010 01:22

Stuntman Mike: Apr 14, 2007; The saucer people are coming!

greatn posted:

I preferred 5318008. A bigger number.

Bigger is better when it comes to 5318008, after all.

# ¿ Apr 28, 2010 03:45

Stuntman Mike: Apr 14, 2007; The saucer people are coming!

Mystic Mongol posted:

I'm... pretty sure you can define subdivisions in a universe?

Not if it is a sentient one :colbert:

Obviously.

# ¿ Apr 28, 2010 04:31

Stuntman Mike: Apr 14, 2007; The saucer people are coming!

Gr3y posted:

Am I the only one who thinks that healing surges add to verisimilitude? I can just imagine a fighter who in the last 8 hours has been:
1. Gored by a minotaur
2. Breathed on by some sort of dragon (twice!)
3. Clawed by... whatever the hell that orangey red thing was
4. Lasered by a beholder (several times)
5. Just took a face full of evil from a lich

and despite what his boss and the party cleric are shouting at him says "gently caress it. I just don't have anything left."

In the abstract sense of "you can only be healed with magic so much before you just can't take it", I agree. But I'm with Locus - with the other forms of healing in 4e (inspiring slogans from warlords and such) and the ability to self-heal when resting, it really makes no drat sense, unless you completely divorce HP from physical well-being and make it only refer to stamina, vitality, will to fight, etc.

# ¿ Apr 29, 2010 05:13

Stuntman Mike: Apr 14, 2007; The saucer people are coming!

I remember getting holo lands in booster packs back in the day (back in the day = 2002). It was pretty lame.

# ¿ Apr 30, 2010 18:00

Stuntman Mike: Apr 14, 2007; The saucer people are coming!

When 5th edition comes out, it will probably be (in my opinion) a completely digital initiative that affords players the opportunity to interface with the world in ways they have never before. That being said, it will not be like your traditional MMO. It will probably involve VTC (video teleconferencing) technologies, combined with new fun quirky aspects (USB/RFI operated dice roller; where you still roll a d20 and the result is calculated based on the side it lands on- this is not so futuristic).

At the core, it will support people still coming together to play a common game- not unlike game-nights where Monopoly is still played. Either way, the game will have 100% digital support for the new wave of small devices like the iPad, et al.

# ¿ May 6, 2010 18:15

Stuntman Mike: Apr 14, 2007; The saucer people are coming!

I don't know if it was meant to be sarcastic or not, but the "new fun quirky aspects, like a usb d20 roller"... I mean god drat. Also the fact that this was posted in a D&D 5th Edition Predictions Thread.

# ¿ May 6, 2010 18:37

Stuntman Mike: Apr 14, 2007; The saucer people are coming!

That is uncanny.

# ¿ May 8, 2010 22:53

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# ¿ Apr 25, 2024 16:38

Stuntman Mike: Apr 14, 2007; The saucer people are coming!

My players keep trying to cast Blindness/Deafness on me so I can't roll attack dice on monsters' turns :v:

# ¿ May 21, 2010 21:28

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