grognards.txt

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sexpig by night: Sep 8, 2011; by Azathoth

ZeeToo posted:

Did he give any reasons, or...?

No, Bob, gently caress YOU. I wrote this huge campaign already and have been adding to it since highschool and it is not MY fault none of you were smart enough to include an elven priest of the sun god and thus never got the magic item from them and died in two rounds to my necro-fel-dragon-liche.

# ¿ Sep 11, 2011 05:48

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# ¿ Apr 28, 2024 01:16

sexpig by night: Sep 8, 2011; by Azathoth

A HUNGRY MOUTH posted:

I got away with inappropriate behavior once, so you can't make me feel bad about anything I do.

People nervously laughed off a terrible statement I made and this means you're a big baby.

# ¿ Sep 15, 2011 18:06

sexpig by night: Sep 8, 2011; by Azathoth

Red_Mage posted:

Yes he is a grown rear end man, which makes his weeabooness all the less acceptable.

on a side note, before all the Kid D&D sheets were up, some people remarked they would love to see girls, since the boys went up first. People wanting female pcs? NOT ON DRUNKEN MONK'S WATCH:

I like how he went from 'it's a boy's party who cares about girls' to 'and this is as silly as asking for blacks and asians and vegetarians, NONE OF THOSE COULD BE AT THE PARTY'

# ¿ Sep 16, 2011 05:06

sexpig by night: Sep 8, 2011; by Azathoth

Guys stop shifting goals, you can either mock them for banning people who go against lockstep as 'personal attacks' and having the dumb 'no negative feedback' stuff, OR you can want them to ban bigots more subtle than "drat blacks and fags kill them all!"

The two are obviously related because they both involve mods!

# ¿ Sep 19, 2011 16:08

sexpig by night: Sep 8, 2011; by Azathoth

Evil Mastermind posted:

How is "my wife has different opinions than myself" a socio-political statement?

Unless he's the type of guy who thinks a bumper sticker or Hot Topic t-shirt is "making a statement"?

It's one of those "don't throw it in my face, homos" which means "never acknowledge being gay in front of me" deals.

# ¿ Sep 19, 2011 16:20

sexpig by night: Sep 8, 2011; by Azathoth

Effectronica posted:

And come to think of it, looking at European culture of the last century of so, "knight" has less to do with a social class and much more to do with armored dudes on horses with lances. They've transformed the reality into fantasy already.

It's hilarious that people think that more classes = better game design though.

I love his total confusion. "You mean you want me to just play a rogue, and call it a ninja?! I don't...I don't understand, it wouldn't say 'Ninja' in the class box!"

# ¿ Sep 19, 2011 22:41

sexpig by night: Sep 8, 2011; by Azathoth

Maxwell Lord posted:

I still have the 3rd edition of Oriental Adventures, and the foreword tried to answer some of the questions about the antiquated assumptions of its title- and it was really fully a melange, mostly devoted to presenting the d20 version of Rokugan but also offering up elements that were specifically from China, India, etc., and talking a bit about how you might want to construct a setting and decide what culture you would use and so on.

I also own that book and literally nothing was Indian/Middle Eastern/Asian aside from a little China and tons of Japan. So, there's that problem.

# ¿ Sep 19, 2011 23:57

sexpig by night: Sep 8, 2011; by Azathoth

Maxwell Lord posted:

I always thought it was just Japan. What other stuff did they throw in?

No L5R was always just straight up 'Japan the RPG'.

# ¿ Sep 20, 2011 07:01

sexpig by night: Sep 8, 2011; by Azathoth

DontMockMySmock posted:

If that paladin had just cast Detect Evil first, there'd be no problem

I get the feeling the GM wanted that to happen to say 'he's good' and make it a 'GRIPPING MORAL CHOICE'.

Also because the GM is a pedophile.

# ¿ Sep 20, 2011 21:50

sexpig by night: Sep 8, 2011; by Azathoth

Locus Cosecant posted:

Oh and it's really awful of you to say "gently caress these guys" for entertaining the possibility that anyone could be innocent of child rape. That's how witchhunts happen.

Who did this? All I saw was a throwaway to joke about idiots saying the dude undoing his pants in front of a bound child saying he's going to do something to her could have been a WACKY SITCOM MIX-UP! I don't think anyone said 'no murder everyone accused of rape?

# ¿ Sep 21, 2011 01:05

sexpig by night: Sep 8, 2011; by Azathoth

Hamiltonian Bicycle posted:

If Timmy is the guy who takes Toughness because being tough sounds cool, then:

Johnny is the guy who invents Pun-Pun.

Spike is the guy who tries to play Pun-Pun.

This is it, Johnny thinks it's a cool exercise to make Pun-Pun, Spike goes "Ha ha thanks bro mind if I use that next campaign?" And Timmy's sitting there with his Elf Wizard and Toughness because he thought a battle-mage would be cool.

Timmy later multi-classes Fighter.

# ¿ Sep 21, 2011 01:43

sexpig by night: Sep 8, 2011; by Azathoth

Megaman's Jockstrap posted:

We're stretching this to the breaking point but I want to point out that Timmy is not a bad player, he's a player that values looks and narrative over mechanical efficiency and even mechanics. So he's the kind of player that wants to play a Conan-style character even though that character type might be unequivocally the worst in the game. Because Conan is rad.

Oh no I wasn't trying to be all "LOL FUCKIN DUMBASS" I was just trying to illustrate the idea of 'Timmy likes the idea of a battle mage, so he thinks the best way to do that is build a Mage with levels of Fighter and Fighter type feats'. I have been Timmy many times.

I still kinda am Timmy.

# ¿ Sep 21, 2011 02:05

sexpig by night: Sep 8, 2011; by Azathoth

Myself, I'm currently writing a fantasy epic inspired by the likes of Lord of the Rings, mixed with the Legend of Zelda and Final Fantasy videogame series.

# ¿ Sep 21, 2011 23:12

sexpig by night: Sep 8, 2011; by Azathoth

Evil Mastermind posted:

I never get tired of this guy. Babby's First Symbolism.

Ahaha I didn't even notice that, no way is that dude real.

"One must have a grasp on symbolism and meanings, for example, to display my mastery of this, let me tell you that fire can often represent passion :smug:

# ¿ Sep 21, 2011 23:19

sexpig by night: Sep 8, 2011; by Azathoth

Quality_Guaranteed posted:

'Sup, bros?

I posted that a while back, can't remember when or what thread it was. But I think you're qouting me out of context there, Liesmith. Fantasy fiction is about the numinous, the inner spirit. It's not supposed to be literally real, but actually it's more about the dream state. I can't express it more clearly than that. The fire magic is just a metaphor. Sadly I haven't finished my novel, but I've reached a good part: the heroes have just discovered the dead body of the arch-duke of Galersia, and it's at this point that the novel takes on elements of a murder mystery. It's like "Whoa...who did it?" The best fantasy fiction incorporates things from other genres, blending them together to create something brand new. A little cross pollination never hurt anyone.

Anyway, this ain't the thread to be discussing my novel, so I'll just leave it there. This is a pretty good thread, guys.

Make a thread for your novel here or in the Book Barn.

# ¿ Sep 22, 2011 13:11

sexpig by night: Sep 8, 2011; by Azathoth

General Ironicus posted:

If the barbarian's so flaming what does he want with a woman anyway.

You know nothing of barbarian society. If you did you would understand the depth and meaning behind this, the flaming barbarian living a lie in a world of women who...I don't even loving know, ask questions?

Though my first mental image since it was surrounded with 'smothered' and all, was him literally lighting his lips on fire and attacking her with his mouth trying to suffocate her.

# ¿ Sep 22, 2011 17:42

sexpig by night: Sep 8, 2011; by Azathoth

Lazer Vampire Jr. posted:

So is there something new within this essay that hasn't been extrapolated by any number of people over the years, both in defense of it, and railing against it with spittle-soaked fervor?

Also that barbarian booty call thing sort of transcends purple prose,it is freaking lurid. It is bad gonzo literary porn.

You know that one guy in your freshman creative writing class who wore aviator shades and said his favorite book was Fear and Loathing, but can't name any other books by Thompson? This is what his idea of 'gonzo' was, get super drunk and just slam a book out and insist anyone who says 'bro this sucks' just doesn't get it.

# ¿ Sep 22, 2011 18:16

sexpig by night: Sep 8, 2011; by Azathoth

JDCorley posted:

I've never seen a woman go into a game shop of her own free will without being lured there by a gamer dude.

So, again with the naming of the scum huh?

Actually, our little group has more influence in our community than you might like. The only thing is - in the college club, which is about the same size as ours - there are still no women, only gamer wives.

We don't invite any of those guys either, precisely because they are snotty PC guys like yourself. No smoking. No drinking. Let the women come and handle the tournament paperwork.

No thanks.

That's precisely why we have our own club - we generally don't get along with the rest of the wargame community because they are loving NERDS. Unwashed and all.

One unwashed nerd who's smell was offensive literally went around chewing on his hand like he was a hound dog for Magic cards and his palm was his bone.

We don't parade around the "no-women" rule in public, but since this forum is presumably to discuss the things no one else wants to discuss I decided to put it out there for you guys.

I'd like to think that we've done more to promote the hobby in our community than a lot of others. After we started handing out business cards and sporting t-shirts, we prompted the other club in town to start a website of their own and helped organize the 2011 'Ard Boyz season here in our state.

We are actually some of the only guys actively searching for new gamers and helping the wargame community out with some badly needed street cred.

It's just we'd prefer women weren't involved in our games. Like I said before, it's a mutual arrangement and no one in the universe has ever been offended...except just a few of you here on this website.

Haha where are these two from?

# ¿ Sep 23, 2011 17:37

sexpig by night: Sep 8, 2011; by Azathoth

Liesmith posted:

you laugh, but I heard Johnny the Dice whacked "Soapy" Sam because he got cheeto dust on his Imperial Guard army. Don't gently caress with Johnny's warhammer dudes man

You know the Crips vs Bloods thing?

AD&D vs 3rd ed.

# ¿ Sep 23, 2011 17:52

sexpig by night: Sep 8, 2011; by Azathoth

4th ed is like a wargame, this is something Gary 'literally told players to use Chainmail rules to fill in gaps' Gygax would detest.

# ¿ Sep 24, 2011 00:26

sexpig by night: Sep 8, 2011; by Azathoth

ProfessorCirno posted:

Over in FATAL And Friends, Mystic Mogul has been sharing "Fantasy Wargaming: The Highest Level," a truly putrid system that is neigh unplayable and filled with rampant bigotry of every level. Surely nobody would defend this

Oh Dragonsfoot~

The last bit for some reason makes me laugh most "Famous and great gay characters such as Will from Will and Grace and Willow from Buffy."

# ¿ Sep 24, 2011 22:56

sexpig by night: Sep 8, 2011; by Azathoth

PeterWeller posted:

That last bit isn't so bad. He's basically saying there's nothing preventing a straight person from playing a gay character aside from potential personal discomfort.

Yea it's just funny how since he was defending a dramatic kinda system he couldn't pick one of the arguably larger fields of straight dudes playing gay for them (I don't care what you say, Buffy was a comedy).

# ¿ Sep 24, 2011 23:08

sexpig by night: Sep 8, 2011; by Azathoth

Locus Cosecant posted:

No, it's storygaming. Verisimilitude is the sin you engage in when you dare to disagree with giving women -22 to their stats.

'storygaming' is not at all what 'because in the dark ages men thought women were weak, so that means your woman, literally, IS weak' falls into in the slightest.

# ¿ Sep 25, 2011 01:56

sexpig by night: Sep 8, 2011; by Azathoth

My group is currently in a long running campaign partially built out from the current gm's dad's old D&D red box era campaign, that ran for a poo poo long time before being scavenged for us.

Long running campaigns own, but yea anyone saying they're the 'right' kind is silly, but most of those guys seemed to just be saying 'it's right for us'.

# ¿ Sep 26, 2011 07:28

sexpig by night: Sep 8, 2011; by Azathoth

Ettin posted:

I've grogsed this dude before, but I'm just going to go ahead and repost his thoughts on Gor.

"I READ IT FOR THE ARTICLES!"

You know if you're so into a crazy low-magic fantasy world, and still can only get it up if a woman's being oppressed, doesn't Conan do that whole style better with at least a couple of strong women to balance out the 'lol slave girls all over'?

# ¿ Sep 30, 2011 15:01

sexpig by night: Sep 8, 2011; by Azathoth

I mean Conan is hardly great, but I've read a bit and it's a legitimate low magic world that tries for the blending of the whole 'ancient man saw women as lesser' with a bit of 'and seeing that, smart women exploited that misogyny to manipulate men' and of course the 'and some women just said 'ha ha gently caress you' and got an axe and started slicing dudes'. Like, if you're super into Sword and Sorcery, but want to for some reason appeal to the bullshit evo-psych 'gender roles' thing, Conan at least lets women be real characters other then walking breasts.

# ¿ Sep 30, 2011 15:11

sexpig by night: Sep 8, 2011; by Azathoth

Just further proof that transhumanists are the worst people.

Also "A minor deity, (or a wizard, natch)".

# ¿ Oct 2, 2011 20:45

sexpig by night: Sep 8, 2011; by Azathoth

Evil Mastermind posted:

Y'know, exploring the themes of Transhumanism in a pure-fantasy setting where magic can actually do whatever it wants could be interesting.

That doesn't stop those guys from being pretty creepy, though.

There are so many easier ways to let your players go 'heh perhaps the rest of my race is backwards and flawed, but it's not my responsibility I plan on becoming a golem' though.

# ¿ Oct 2, 2011 22:19

sexpig by night: Sep 8, 2011; by Azathoth

ProfessorCirno posted:

Also I spent most of this night being heckled on the Paizo forums by someone trying to make me look at gay muscle porn.

That is a thing.

That has happened.

I like his attempt to I assume call you gay involves him using a poo poo ton of gay porn he has.

"HEY FAG, WHY ARE YOU SUCKING MY DICK HUH?!"

# ¿ Oct 3, 2011 12:52

sexpig by night: Sep 8, 2011; by Azathoth

Worked out for Blackbeard.

# ¿ Oct 5, 2011 20:08

sexpig by night: Sep 8, 2011; by Azathoth

So I'm trying to think of a situation with a child coming home and going 'my friend's dad is running an RPG in some world called Gor' and then having him explain it in a way that doesn't involve him being punched and told to never come near that kid again.

I can think of loving nothing, especially if he ended that first post on teasing 'bondage' coming up.

# ¿ Oct 6, 2011 05:03

sexpig by night: Sep 8, 2011; by Azathoth

Hey Gorkidz dude, it's not us saying you "shouldn't exist", which is hyperbolic as all poo poo. You are literally giving tips to run a game for kids set in a universe rooted in S&M and rape. Even if Gor was totally unique (it's not), the amount of pruning to do to make it kid safe means you're better spent just adding your flying birds to Dark Sun.

# ¿ Oct 6, 2011 14:37

sexpig by night: Sep 8, 2011; by Azathoth

Cheap Trick posted:

Heroes of Neverwinter Brings D&D to Facebook

Turn-based D&D game is released on Facebook, two gamer dads give their thoughts.

No surprises as to the first comment on this article:

Thanks jerk, now all my friends saw me liking a dungeons and dragons game. I'm ruined!

(This game is shockingly fun)

# ¿ Oct 8, 2011 06:06

sexpig by night: Sep 8, 2011; by Azathoth

Speaking of PF devs being crazy, wasn't there some thing a while ago with a 'make your own adventure' thing, but it turned out they judged mainly on how well they fit in with what they already had decided for fluff and all? I remember there being some funny reactions between people defending something like that and people being annoyed by it.

# ¿ Oct 8, 2011 09:04

sexpig by night: Sep 8, 2011; by Azathoth

So what the gently caress are these duckmen and why are people super pissed about them?

# ¿ Oct 9, 2011 23:52

sexpig by night: Sep 8, 2011; by Azathoth

All waterfoul are evil loving animals, which is why they make so good RPG elements. gently caress cats and dogs and poo poo, if you want a race full of hardass psychos, play a goddamn Goose-Person.

# ¿ Oct 10, 2011 00:45

sexpig by night: Sep 8, 2011; by Azathoth

Thuryl posted:

I had the NPC engage in his lewd behavior and questionable conduct specifically to force a reaction from the players...but their only reaction was to be turned off by the whole thing. They had no interest in intervening or worrying about ethical questions. Bunch o' pansies, if you ask me...however

Hahahaha "I wanted a reaction but when they all didn't want anything to with it I just assumed they don't 'get' Cyberpunk like I do".

# ¿ Oct 10, 2011 17:26

sexpig by night: Sep 8, 2011; by Azathoth

Also constantly calling them 'chicks', pretty lovely. Dude's classy as gently caress.

# ¿ Oct 15, 2011 01:37

sexpig by night: Sep 8, 2011; by Azathoth

Pharmaskittle posted:

Well, y'know, he's a credit to his people.

Also if a drow gets redeemed, they turn white.

Yea I'm sure KKK types loving love Drow, a race that was cursed with dark skin and splintered away from a pure and noble _white race because they offended god with their despicable ways, and the only way to redeem their tainted souls ends in them becoming the old pure and noble _white race again? That's literally Curse of Cain poo poo right there.

# ¿ Oct 29, 2011 00:11

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# ¿ Apr 28, 2024 01:16

sexpig by night: Sep 8, 2011; by Azathoth

See I guess I'm a bad player, my first thought for 'fight going bad, needs a virgin sacrifice' would be, I dunno, grab girl and run, grab girl and tell her to run while we hold the priest dude back, or start breaking poo poo around the area to gently caress the ritual up if we can't kill the dude.

I guess a clever player just drops trou and gets up in the virgin?

# ¿ Oct 31, 2011 20:12

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