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Shrapnig
Jan 21, 2005

Bovine Delight posted:

gently caress y'all, play as a DM and just demolish people is all its about

I literally want to kill myself if I have to play in the middle of the field and one of our regular center backs has been hurt most of the season so I've been playing there. Hate hate hate.

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Shrapnig
Jan 21, 2005

identikit posted:

Get a ringer in? Hell we had a brand new striker the other day. He scored a hat-trick.

Doesn't work like that. Everyone in our league is registered and we have to present a player pass before every match. You can't just bring in random dudes. There are even rules about not being eligible for the amateur leagues if you've played professionally in the past 3 years and stuff like that.

Shrapnig
Jan 21, 2005

Just bought these,

http://www.soccer.com/IWCatProductPage.process?Merchant_Id=1&query=puma+c+1.10&N=0&Product_Id=545194

hope they fit as awesome as they look.

Interesting note, it was actually cheaper for me to order them from Prodirect in England than Eurosport in the US, even with shipping and the Goal Club discount.

Shrapnig
Jan 21, 2005

CAMiasm posted:

oh god the inside of my right knee is killing me from practicing goal kicks. i think i'm doing it wrong

You're not locking out your knee which means you're probably hyperextending it every time you kick the ball. Swing through the ball, don't punch it.

Shrapnig
Jan 21, 2005

Rhgr posted:

That is very very weird. When we were trying to get a team together for the business league, out of 15 people only 2 were left footed, and I was one of them. It's no big deal though, a left footer playing on the right can be deadly due to their ability to cut inside.

My team has 3 left-footed players, out of a squad of 18. None of them play on the left. Two are central midfielders and one is a striker. I'm right footed and play left back but my left is probably 80% as good as my right anyway.

Shrapnig
Jan 21, 2005

Shmoses posted:

This is pretty freaking awesome, but I don't understand how you can play on such a tiny court. You'd have no time on the ball whatsoever.

You have plenty of time on the ball in futsal. There's no contact "allowed" so players can't really be in your face defensively.

I want someone to make a Youtube compilation of me so I can get a big fat contract with a really stupid team.

Shrapnig
Jan 21, 2005

Scikar posted:

If you at least mentioned what happened in the tackle (i.e. was it more of a bang or did you twist it) and exactly where the pain and swelling is you might have a chance. There are many different ways you can injure your knee and the prognosis is different for all of them.

Guys my body hurts in a place. It got hurt while I was playing football and something happened. How long am I going to be out?

Shrapnig
Jan 21, 2005

Chivas Aribas! posted:

Also any time I have tried to use candy or gum I get a bunch more phlegm in my throat and have to spit it out. Really you're better off keeping a good diet up all week.

I always chew gum when I play but it's sugarfree which might make a difference.

Shrapnig
Jan 21, 2005

Broke my nose five minutes into our match today.

Went off, straightened it out, stopped the bleeding and played the rest of the match.

We tied a game we should have won by three clear goals. Our finishing was awful.

Shrapnig
Jan 21, 2005

Dr. Mantis Toboggan posted:

Anybody have suggestions for boots for people with big, wide feet? My shoe size is around 12.5 or 13 US (11.5 or 12 UK), and my feet are pretty wide.

Almost all Adidas shoes are too narrow for me, and my old Nike Tiempos are too small.

Maybe I should write a letter to Peter Crouch..

Adidas makes the Predators in a wide fit, other than that just go try on boots.

Shrapnig
Jan 21, 2005

mang posted:

what league do you play in shrap

I play in the Garden State Soccer League in NJ.

Shrapnig
Jan 21, 2005

mang posted:

me too, which division do you play in?

A South as of now.

Shrapnig
Jan 21, 2005

mang posted:

Nice. I play in B south. The level of play suits me well, but I really can't stand how disorganized the GSSL is in general. This is my third season and it seems like they just say "hey take care of scheduling/reffing yourself and let us know what happens". We haven't had a ref show up on time for a single game over the past 2 seasons.

Oh cool. Yeah the organization sucks and the referees in general suck. There are maybe two or three good refs and you almost never get them because there are 5 games going on in three different levels on any given Sunday. The assignor is also one of the worst of the bunch which doesn't help.

The head of the league was actually my youth team coach 100 years ago. He's a great coach but poo poo at running a league.

Shrapnig
Jan 21, 2005

Bovine Delight posted:

Way to be a miserable oval office. Even if those guys have inflated egos, nobody is going to give you any respect after you throw out your dummy.

Pretty much this. Way to air your grievances on a public message board. If I were the head of any other team in the league I wouldn't let you anywhere near my squad.

Shrapnig
Jan 21, 2005

Scikar posted:

It did eventually stop when he took a kick anyway, made sure to follow through and we got the resulting free kick. :)

I don't understand why people gently caress with goalies. They pretty much have free license to punch/kick/barge you whenever they feel like it and get the resulting call in their favor.

Shrapnig
Jan 21, 2005

Woof! Woof! posted:

That makes sense, I've probably been coming on too strong then.

Our team doesn't have a manager/coach or anything so I haven't been receiving a lot of guidance... I mostly just watch and try and follow suit.

Some of the players in the city have amazing footwork, I have really struggled to keep up with them... I just need to get smarter with anticipating their plays and not letting them fake me out.

Angles angles angles.

It's a lot harder for a player to pass through you than around you.

In a 2 on 1 situation you're hosed most of the time but if you can force the guy with the ball to go to goal as opposed to playing the ball to the free man you're probably in a better position. Once the player with the ball commits to going to goal you're on him 100%. Before that you want to hedge yourself, unless of course he's in a position to shoot already.

Shrapnig
Jan 21, 2005

mang posted:

got an assist on the game winner yesterday, the team was freaking the gently caress out because we have had a really hard season and we just want to win some games in the dang league cup.

Heh, we tied 2-2 yesterday. We actually got a favorable draw in the cup for the first time. The team we played beat us 5-4(after we were up 4-0) and 3-2(after we were up 2-0) in the league during the season so it felt good to come back from 2-0 down and get a draw.

I would have scored the winner late but they picked up the best goalie I've seen in five years in the league and he made a ridiculous save on me.

Oh well, gotta get a win next week and we should be ok for the next round.

Shrapnig
Jan 21, 2005

Lost 9-0 this morning.

Holy poo poo, lol, etc. right? No.

We had seven total players. Six field players, the legal minimum to play.

Yeah it loving sucked but we actually played pretty well. We had a half dozen chances on goal and actually moved the ball really well. It helped that the guys that showed up were probably the ones with the best footballing brains. We would have beaten the team we played by a few goals if we had a full strength side.

I was actually really proud of our guys for how we played but I'm absolutely exhausted right now. I was playing center back, left back, left midfield, and striker at the same time, heh.

I also lost three studs on my SG boots which sucks, and I didn't realize it until I went to cut by a guy and fell flat on my face. Luckily I had my FGs with me too. Gonna write Puma a nasty letter and see if I can get some free poo poo.

Shrapnig
Jan 21, 2005

Just got back from running suicides, by myself, in the heat. The things I do for my piece of poo poo team.

Shrapnig
Jan 21, 2005

Pretty much, yeah.

Gotta love getting chills and dizziness(actually I do, it lets me know that I'm really pushing myself).

Shrapnig
Jan 21, 2005

Oh Em Gee posted:

Wait, Americans still use SWEEPERS in high school? Tactically that's a bit outdated.

The entire American system from grassroots to the college level is tactically outdated.

High schools use sweepers because high school teams use Theo Walcott types as their strikers(really fast, no actual footballing skills) to just run by the "slow" kids who play defense.

Stick a sweeper back there with some pace and it'll nullify that kid.

The idea of a flat back four with wingbacks hasn't really caught on yet.

Shrapnig
Jan 21, 2005

Dear Sergio posted:

probably because it's just high school soccer and the majority of coaches are also the kids math teachers.

Actually, they're usually gym teachers. :colbert:

Shrapnig
Jan 21, 2005

Alctel posted:

I am thinking about trying to learn some nice tricks to get round people, since at the moment my entire repertoire is 'slow down, nudge ball one way, nudge other way past them and then sprint after it' which works pretty well since I have a lot of burst speed and can use both sides of both feet.

What 'staples' do you dribbling geniuses always seem to use the most?

Step-overs really aren't hard at all to learn but they're difficult for defenders to judge. Learn them with both feet and bringing your foot over the ball both clockwise and counterclockwise and then the ball goes in the opposite direction your foot went.

Really though if you're running at a defender at pace all you need to do is get him to lean one direction or the other and you have him beaten, or he's going to foul you.

Videos of Fat Ronaldo are good for seeing stuff that he does with his body but never touches the ball and defenders quite literally fall over.

The video is lovely but this is what I'm talking about.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9EeC-F7A7a8

Shrapnig
Jan 21, 2005

GravityDaemon posted:

Thought you were joking with the name, but looked it up anyway. Sounds perfect! Thanks!

Sometimes bandages just don't work, sometimes bandages just don't stick, sometimes bandages just won't dooooooooooo! That's when New Skin is there for you!

Shrapnig
Jan 21, 2005

revengeanceful posted:

Nobody likes a cheater, sure, but everybody hates somebody that goes out and plays recklessly in a silly coed league. Don't be that guy.

Haha, reminds me of one of the games in my coed league this spring.

Kid is running upfield with the ball. He takes a slightly heavy touch and I come across him and take the ball off his toe.

Next thing I know I'm lying on the ground and my calves are on fire. By all accounts he took a massive kick at the back of my legs after I took the ball from him.

Now he's a kid, 14ish, if he had been an adult things might have gone differently but all I did was get up, place the ball, look at him and say "you're going to get hurt if you do that poo poo in high school."

Of course a few days later when I could barely walk since the fucker actually drew blood with the kick I was pissed but you can't let stupid poo poo get in the way of playing the game and having fun.

Moral of the story, I scored a hat trick that game and we beat them 6-2.

Shrapnig
Jan 21, 2005

hughsieblingwish posted:

speaking of goalkeeping. I've noticed quite often that goalkeepers diving to make saves are going the ball punch with their 'off' hand across their body rather than the hand on the side the ball is going to.

For example, a player shoots to towards the top left corner of the net and the keeper diving that way, instead of punching with his left hand clears the ball by twisting to his left during the dive and punching the ball with his right.

I'm guessing that keepers making those kind of punches, if they're able to are attempting to clear the ball further up the field with a strong punch rather than just tip the ball wide with the hand that's not able to get any real power behind it.

Does this make sense? I'll try and find a video of it.

Keepers are just like field players, they're dominant to one side.

A lot of keepers won't even use their off hand to make a save unless they absolutely have to.

Shrapnig
Jan 21, 2005

Lazlow posted:

Anyone have any recommendations for shin/ankle guards? I'm thinking of these, I like a lot of protection and I hate straps.

I hate sleeves, they tend to contribute to calf cramps so I use straps but I generally find a pair I like and then buy the smallest size available.

I'm pretty sure the shin guards I wear now are X-small and designed for someone about 4'8".

Shrapnig
Jan 21, 2005

Alctel posted:

I think I need to get some new boots, but living in Canada they are horrendously expensive so I will get them online I think, maybe after trying on some pairs at a sports store.

Does anyone have any good suggestions? I would prefer non-coloured ones as I don't want to be 'that guy'

Try boots on, buy the ones that are the most comfortable. That's pretty much it.

Shrapnig
Jan 21, 2005

Scikar posted:

I don't have direct experience but I think braces and the like are more for supporting damaged/weakened ligaments rather than bones. In my opinion if it still hurts it's likely not fully healed and I'd give it another two weeks at least, but once it is fully healed you shouldn't need to brace or strap it.

General rule of thumb, bones stop hurting when they've healed. I'm not a big fan of braces myself because a lot of people tend to rely on them after awhile instead of strengthening the soft tissue.

Edit: Ask me about the eight months of pain I've had with a bone bruise on my knee joint, heh.

Shrapnig
Jan 21, 2005

Scikar posted:

Has anyone had any experience selling boots on ebay? I'm not normally one to drop £100 on a pair of boots as I mentioned above but my mum wanted to get me a birthday present and I needed a pair for firm ground so I figured I'd splash out a bit and got a pair of CTR360 Maestris. Size 10 were too big, size 9 were slightly too small but I couldn't find anywhere, online or off selling them in a 9.5 so I assumed they just weren't available.

Lo and behold, one blister later and I've now found them in a non-foot-crushing size but obviously I can't send these back after playing in them a couple of times. If they were leather I could probably get away with it but apparently the synthetic stuff they used for these doesn't stretch so it seems like my best bet is to flog them on ebay and start over.

Make sure you post them as slightly used. Take pics of any wear and then stick them up there for an opening price you'd be ok with getting and hope people bid. Then rape rape rape on shipping cost.

I've bought and sold boots on eBay, it's not really all that tough.

Shrapnig
Jan 21, 2005

Kiros posted:

Anyone know of any good sites based in the US that sell soccer cleats pretty cheap?

https://www.google.com

Or you could try soccer.com

Either one would probably work.

Hell, even zappos and amazon sell cleats.

Shrapnig
Jan 21, 2005

Started playing 5 a side a couple weeks ago and the randomly paired team I'm on is miles better in skill level than the other teams. We played two games this week and won 35-1 and 20-2, in 40 minute games. It's fun because we can dick around but I was hoping for a bit of competition.

Shrapnig
Jan 21, 2005

The Mattybee posted:

This is more a question for the future than anything else, but is futsal terribly common in the US? I'd really love to get back into football, but I really can't play any really high-contact sports anymore - I was in a car accident about a year ago, shattered my tibia completely and there's now a metal rod in there. It's not as if it hurts to walk on or anything like that, but when things hit it/injuries happen to it, it hurts a lot more than it would have before.

Am I poo poo out of luck, or is there a chance that there's a league or something like that for me?

It depends on where you are but there are plenty of futsal leagues in the New York/New Jersey area.

Shrapnig
Jan 21, 2005

I am OK posted:

I had an excellent game last night that left me buzzing. However, I woke up this morning and my permanently slightly-dodgy knee is on fire. Like, absolutely loving caning all of the time. I pinged it a bit when somebody I was tracking changed direction suddenly but it didn't feel that bad at the time. I'm worried that I've done what my dad did, who basically never played football again.

:(

Hold me.

This is one of those name + post combo things everyone is always talking about.

Ibuprofen and ice. Learn to love it. I basically live on it the day after a game. If it doesn't feel better in a few days go see a doctor.

Shrapnig
Jan 21, 2005

Mashed Potato posted:

Looking to get back into playing football after several years off but I don't have a clue where to start boots-wise.
I don't want anything super fancy just a decent pair of boots I can play in that don't cost a ton. Any advice?

I don't like them personally but Adidas Copa Mundials have been around forever and are still only like $100 which is ridiculous for a pair of kangaroo leather boots.

Plenty of professionals wear them too.

Your best bet is always to go try boots on and buy a pair that's the most comfortable to you.

Shrapnig
Jan 21, 2005

In the past few years I've probably bought six or eight pair of firm ground boots and one or two pair of soft ground boots. Take that as you will.

It's never a bad idea to have a pair of soft ground boots but they're really not necessary unless the field is really really soft.

Shrapnig
Jan 21, 2005

harperdc posted:

Do any boots (whether series ala Predators, or particular brands) tend to be easier and softer on your feet than others? I'm using low-level Predators on really, really firm ground when playing Aussie Rules, and my feet are always hosed up because of it. I'm not in the market for new boots yet, but just keeping things in mind for when I am.

Probably will also try to get some inserts to add cushion to the sole, too, for the short-term.

Obviously the higher end boots will have better cushioning and stuff like that.

If you're looking for comfort you want to avoid any of the boots that are marketed toward "speed" like the Vapors, F50s(Adizero), and the Puma V series. They're ultralight so they don't have much in the way of cushioning or anything like that.

Boots like Predators, Nike Total 90s, or CTR360s, Puma PowerCats are generally bulkier and offer more in the way of cushioning and protection.

If you're having issues playing on really really firm ground you might want to look into a pair of turfs or a pair of hard ground boots. Hard ground boots have shorter studs and more of them but they're slightly longer than turfs.

Shrapnig
Jan 21, 2005

Did something I can't figure out to my groin yesterday. I felt it tweak when I fell awkwardly at the end of the first half but I played the whole second half on it and biked 10 miles when I got home with no real issue. Cut to about three hours later and I can't walk. An hour after that I have a little pain but am mostly mobile. A little later, so much pain I can't walk and any effort to walk had me out of breath and sweating profusely. Today it's been more of the same. I'm in almost no pain, just a vague ache, when sitting but walking is incredibly difficult. I'm going to the doctor tomorrow but does anyone have any idea what's going on with my delicate yet manly groin?

I'm thinking either pull, tear, or some kind of nerve issue which contributes to the intermittent pain.

Shrapnig
Jan 21, 2005

Alctel posted:

Dunno, I think I had the same thing. I did no running for two weeks and it cleared up, so hopefully it ain't serious.

Went to the doctor, he did something to my leg and I felt a pop and instantly got 80% of the mobility back in my leg. Still sore as poo poo but I can at least walk around again. Gonna take a week or two off and see what happens. Totally bizarre.

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Shrapnig
Jan 21, 2005

calcio posted:

For about 3 years I used to play on a Chinese team as the token white guy. Great team and a lot of very talented feisty players. They would speak in Cantonese on the field.

I played for a Guatemalan team one summer. poo poo was hilarious. They'd be jabbering on in Spanish, using infantile Spanish when talking to me, and then if I misplaced a pass or screwed up it'd be "WHAT THE gently caress ARE YOU DOING, SHRAPNAC?" in perfect, nearly unaccented English. Those guys were a trip.

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