Anencephaly - We all lost Faith in this thread at 8:58pm, 5/23

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > Anencephaly - We all lost Faith in this thread at 8:58pm, 5/23

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lemon shark: Aug 25, 2003; HOoray!

Haha holy poo poo Dan is coming for Lowtax :angel:

http://babyfaithhope.blogspot.com/

quote:

Welcome!
Thank you for being here and for all your thoughts and prayers...

My name is Myah. I'm 23 years old and a single mom to a very special little girl.

When I was 19 weeks pregnant, I was told that my baby had no brain. This condition is known as "anencephaly." I was told that my baby was only alive because she was attached to me, but that she couldn't survive on her own. The doctor said that I could continue the pregnancy safely, but that my baby would die shortly after being born. Or I could choose to terminate the pregnancy then, which would mean being induced at 20 weeks and letting my baby die without ever seeing or holding her (I don't even want to know what they do with babies in this case). Well, to some people this would be a difficult decision, but it wasn't for me. I knew there was nothing to gain by terminating the pregnancy and I already loved my daughter more than anyone else in the world. Even if she was unconscious like the doctors said and lived for only a few seconds or minutes --even if she was stillborn --it was worth it to me. And so we began our journey...

Today, as I type this, Faith is 20 days old. Apart from a sterile dressing on her head that needs to be changed once a day, Faith lives a completely normal life. She isn't suffering or sickly, like you would expect. With no tubes and no machines supporting her life, she continues to thrive. She seems to function at the same level as any "normal" baby. In fact, she may be a little more advanced for her age. How many babies smile before they are born, start cooeing at one day old, and can sit up by 5 days old? I'm just saying!

I hope that by sharing our story, we can shed some light on this condition they call "anencephaly." It may seem all doom and gloom if you get this diagnosis, but trust me... there is more hope and joy in store than you could ever imagine. I know that first-hand! You can read all the text books and medical journals you want, but the truth is revealed in babies like Faith. This is real life, not a text book. When you see the pictures and watch the videos, you can't deny that this life is precious and worth protecting.

Myah
(Faith's mom)

Why didn't this woman abort the baby? Why didn't the hospital let it die? :smith:

Here's a lovely quote about taping its eyes shut so its eyelids won't invert and fall out.

quote:

She is still blinking them but it's as if the inside of her top eyelids are falling out. The right eyelid needs to be "stuffed" back under and held closed but I managed to prevent the left eyelid from drooping out. As soon as I saw it start to swell up I taped it closed and you know what... it sounds crazy and looks odd but it actually worked. So now that the swelling is down the left eye still looks normal on the outside, but she has little eyepatches (well, non-stick pads that we tape over them) on both eyes just to keep them from getting any worse, and obviously to hold everything in on her right eye.

This is what she's hiding under that cute hat, by the way.

:angel:

The seedy story develops :angel:

We've figured out who the mysterious father is.

BunnySkull posted:

Myah meets Dan via craig's list post, asking for a "good christian church in Moncton" He introduces her to Highfield Baptist Church, where she becomes involved in youth ministry and gets hired on as staff.

Dan takes her under his own personal wing and has her tag along to his "open air preaching" and even gets her to do it too. (This is where all those forum posts come into play because apparently some guy on the street very strongly told them to GTFO and he runs to the message boards saying he was "attacked" or that Myah was during "preaching the gospel." All the locals there know Dan and what a stupid batshit fundie he is - for the most part he is laughed off the boards. Some fundie boards take him seriously.

It's during their whirlwind street-preaching that romance blooms, Myah & Dan become sinful adulterers and whammo Myah is preggo. Dan finds out and freaks the gently caress out eventually confessing to his wife (or so he claims) and runs off to a new "church" to get saved, forgiven and preachy all over again. Myah finds out she is having a brainless zombie baby. The BIG question is, did Dan run off to Jesus before or after finding out the baby was a zombie? Can't get the timeline on that figured out.

Bunnkyskull discovers the identity of Faith's insane scumbag father, an "open air preacher"

Dan the preacher admits to knocking Myah up

Dan pulled his "testimonial", but eightbitgirl was kind enough to save it for us.

DAN THREATENS LOWTAX

Dan central because I can't fit all this crazy poo poo in one OP

It's the moment we've all been waiting for

Cowslips Warren posted:

"So, do you think it worked?"

"Are you kidding? They were sucking my dick from the first post on. A few of them were doubting Thomases, but most of them seemed weak-willed and willing to believe anything. Goons, idiots. Atheist babyrapers." Dan stretched out on his La-Z-Boy and popped open another can of beer. "Myah, get me some chips, would you?"

"Of course, hun. Just a minute." Myah patted the chubby baby's cheeks as she turned off the webcam; that was enough filming of God's miracle today! She knew all the wonderful friends she had gathered online loved seeing Faith, but sometimes Faith, like all advanced babies, needed downtime. She was just happy no one from Satan had found out about how advanced she really was! Danny had tried to talk sense into them, those Goons, those babykillers, but sometimes Satan's grip was just too strong. She patted Faith's hand quietly. More videos later, Faith, I promise.

She brought over a large bowl of tortilla chips, complete with salsa (for a moment, just one, a quivering thought shook in her mind about the look of it, that raw redness that reminded her so much of...no. It wasn't time to change the bandages yet, it wasn't time, Faith, it isn't time yet.), and sat pleasantly at his side. "Oh, Dan, I'm just so happy you came back! Faith missed you! She's very advanced for her age, you know."

"I know, Myah. She's smarter than my other kids, for sure!"

Behind them, propped up and taped securely in her bouncy seat, Faith remained quiet. A soft plop brought Myah's attention to the infant, a glob of rotting baby food on the floor. "Oh Faith, you're sick!" She hurried over, wiping up the salvia-drenched apricot mix. She knew better than to leave food out now; ants were tools of Satan, they were! And Faith so, so disliked ants....

Her mother threw the cleanup paper towel away with a shudder. Faith Disliked Ants. Faith also disliked messy bandages on her head. She wasn't fond of the tape either, but so little else could hold her advanced body up!

She started back to Dan when a dark slash crossed her mind. No. No, it was time to change the bandages now. Faith didn't like messy bandages on her head. She didn't. The last time Myah had gone on to see Dan, despite the warning from her advanced Faith, she had woken up two days later, the computer on, another webcam recording of Faith gasping for air playing over and over. It was more than a warning; it was a threat. Don't forget my bandages, Mommy. This could happen to you. See how easy it is to use the computer.

She turned quickly and hurried back to her baby, to their miracle from God. She wasn't able to think of Faith as anything else without that dark slash again. She had tried, just once, a growing numbness that Faith was a miracle, but not from God, and then Something had happened to Dan, something with a car accident. It was better not to think of such things anymore. She carefully stripped part of the bright pink (Faith's favorite color) electric tape from the baby's head, shuddering as she moved very very carefully.

Doctors. The doctors were wrong. Brains could feel pain. Jesus knew Faith's did. Once Myah had touched the inside of Faith's head. She couldn't remember what had happened after that, not anymore, but she did remember the bruises that seemed to come from nowhere. No, she didn't want to hurt her baby, oh no, oh no.

Her baby was so advanced! The doctors didn't see it. No part of Myah could wish that they did anymore, without that dark worry and fear of what Faith would do at such evil, unmotherly thoughts.

"I'm sorry, sweetie," she said softly, singing a lullabye as she rewrapped the new bandages, these a sweet canary yellow. "Your daddy needed some food. He was trying to reach those goons, you know. To tell them how much he loves you and how advanced you are. How good you are, Faith." There was a low burble from Faith, a soft rasp, but that was a good sign, it was usually a good sign. She was happy.

Though it revolted her, though she wanted to cry and run at the same time, she bent and kissed her daughter's chubby nose. Faith Liked Kisses. And Faith would lash out if she didn't get them.

She was just so advanced for her age.

Myah retaped the baby upright, and brought her out in the living room to sit with her father. Mother and father smiled weakly at each other, then at the proof of their God, their beautiful baby who sat before them, taped in place, her head far too heavy for her to lift unaided, her blind eyes regarding and judging and knowing them. It didn't matter, they knew, if Faith didn't have a brain. She had enough of one to act, to react with rage at the evil people in the computer who called her names, who called her a Zombaby, who said she would never live and grow up.

Myah hoped they were right. But she couldn't hope in her open mind anymore; it was getting harder to remember the feeling of only her consciousness in her own head. Danny had said the same thing a few days ago, after a thick night of drinking. Faith seemed to have a harder time reaching them through alcohol.

"She's so beautiful, Danny," Myah chirped with cheer, glad Faith could not see the numb horror in her eyes. "She's so advanced for her age."

"She is, Myah, that she is." He shifted in his seat, no longer eating. "Maybe we'll take her out preaching tomorrow."

Faith smiled. She liked the idea, and her parents felt her thick dark delight in the back of their minds. Good. It was good when Faith was good. She was so advanced for her age.

After another night of drinking, Myah rested in bed, unable to sleep, as she had never slept since the first time she had felt her daughter's mind in her own, eyes open sightlessly. Their daughter was so advanced, so very very advanced and so good and so loved. Such a cute baby they had! So beautiful and wonderful, and she had brought Danny home after hearing so much about fathers. Danny was back, everything was good. Everything was good, Faith. Everything is good, baby. It is a good life.

lemon shark fucked around with this message at 16:34 on May 15, 2009

# ? Apr 20, 2009 18:35

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# ? Dec 1, 2023 22:59

PERMACAV 50: Jul 24, 2007; because we are cat

Assuming this is not complete bullshit (and I'm inclined to think it is), I hope this woman is at least letting doctors look at her and take notes or whatever, because I'd really like to know how a baby can "thrive" with no god drat brain.

# ? Apr 20, 2009 18:38

reflir: Oct 29, 2004; So don't. Stay here with me.

quote:

You can read all the text books and medical journals you want, but the truth is revealed in babies like Faith.

This is exactly the kind of response someone who wouldn't miss a brain would give

# ? Apr 20, 2009 18:38

Gaza: Jul 16, 2008

Yeah i'm pretty sure you need a brain to live, i'll call a doctor to make sure though.

DO NOT CLICK THIS LINK. JUST DON'T DO IT.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Enencephaly.jpg

# ? Apr 20, 2009 18:39

TargetPractice: May 14, 2007

Guys, guys. She's just birthed a baby that we can use for brainless clone troopers controlled by a crazy psychic! We can make FEAR real! Oh wait, maybe not cause it's a deformed little monster. Oh well.

# ? Apr 20, 2009 18:41

Lord of Bananas: Nov 21, 2006; Let the Great Banana Revolution begin!

lemon shark posted:

This is what she's hiding under that cute hat, by the way.

Demolisher posted:

DO NOT CLICK THIS LINK. JUST DON'T DO IT.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Enencephaly.jpg

Yes. Adorable.

Unless the brain stem began to grow in another place in the body (don't know why it would), this thing would not live.

# ? Apr 20, 2009 18:41

Nuevo: May 23, 2006; Fun Shoe

Demolisher posted:

Yeah i'm pretty sure you need a brain to live, i'll call a doctor to make sure though.

DO NOT CLICK THIS LINK. JUST DON'T DO IT.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Enencephaly.jpg

Here's why it's alive. :siren:

Click here for the full 517x727 image.

There's enough brain to run the body's functions, but that's it. No thought, no conscious motion.

Nuevo fucked around with this message at 18:46 on Apr 20, 2009

# ? Apr 20, 2009 18:43

UndergroundHero: Feb 1, 2005; Throw reason right out the fuckin' window.

The first quote made it seem like a feel good story, but your second quote and a look at wikipedia for anencephaly made it a sad story.

# ? Apr 20, 2009 18:44

Mr. Clark2: Sep 17, 2003; Rocco sez: Oh man, what a bummer. Woof.

Is a person without a brain even really 'alive'?

# ? Apr 20, 2009 18:44

cthulusnewzulubbq: Jan 26, 2009; I saw something
NASTY
in the woodshed.

Naming your baby "Faith" is a brand of doom.

# ? Apr 20, 2009 18:44

Deacon Blues: Aug 8, 2007; by I Ozma Myself

Well, at least there isn't eight of the little brainless abominations.

# ? Apr 20, 2009 18:44

PopeOnARope: Jul 23, 2007; Hey! Quit touching my junk!

How the hell is that kid alive?!

# ? Apr 20, 2009 18:45

proddo: Mar 13, 2006; A++ would club again

Speaking of tiny brains, I always thought this guy was pretty cool - his brain is mostly fluid and there's only tiny bits of brain matter around the sides of his skull.

# ? Apr 20, 2009 18:46

Cardinal Ximenez: Oct 25, 2008; "You could call it heroic responsibility, maybe," Harry Potter said. "Not like the usual sort. It means that whatever happens, no matter what, it's always your fault."

Her baby does not have any sort of personal identity, and its continued existence relies on delusions otherwise.

Reminds me of how the person called "Terri Schiavo" information-theoretically died BEFORE I WAS BORN.

# ? Apr 20, 2009 18:46

grayrobot: Jul 20, 2002; colour malfunction

The kid probably has part of her brain, controlling motor functions, similar to Mike the headless chicken.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mike_the_headless_chicken

# ? Apr 20, 2009 18:46

Nuevo: May 23, 2006; Fun Shoe

Mr. Clark2 posted:

Is a person without a brain even really 'alive'?

Well...yeah. It's a living biological entity, it's just not much of 'person.'

# ? Apr 20, 2009 18:47

Digeridude: Dec 30, 2008; I HAVE THEORIES!
NEUTRONS DONT EXIST!
PI IS INFINITE!
CALL ME A RETARD AND I WILL HAVE A NERVOUS BREAKDOWN ITT!

As long as the baby has a brain stem, it can theoretically survive - albeit very impaired.

# ? Apr 20, 2009 18:47

Lord Frankenstyle: Dec 3, 2005; Mmmm,
You smell like Lysol Wipes.

PopeOnARope posted:

How the hell is that kid alive?!

To prove God has a sense of humor.

Also,

quote:

Study Reveals: Babies are Stupid
May 21st, 1997

LOS ANGELES - A surprising new study released Monday by UCLA's Institute For Child Development revealed that human babies, long thought by psychologists to be highly inquisitive and adaptable, are actually extraordinarily stupid.

The study, an 18-month battery of intelligence tests administered to over 3,500 babies, concluded categorically that babies are "so stupid, it's not even funny."

According to Institute president Molly Bentley, in an effort to determine infant survival instincts when attacked, the babies were prodded in an aggressive manner with a broken broom handle. Over 90 percent of them, when poked, failed to make even rudimentary attempts to defend themselves. The remaining 10 percent responded by vacating their bowels.

It is unlikely that the presence of the babies' fecal matter, however foul-smelling, would have a measurable defensive effect against an attacker in a real-world situation," Bentley said.

Another test, in which the infants were placed on a mound of dirt outdoors during a torrential downpour, produced similarly bleak results.

"The chicken, dog and even worm babies that we submitted to the test as a control group all had enough sense to come in from the rain or, at least, seek shelter under a leafy clump of vegetation or outcropping of rock," test supervisor Thomas Howell said. "The human babies, on the other hand, could not grasp even this incredibly basic concept, instead merely lying on the ground and making gurgling noises."

According to Howell, almost 60 percent of the infants tested in this manner eventually drowned.

Some of the babies tested were actually so stupid that they choked to death on pieces of Micronaut space toys. Others, unable to use such primitive instruments as can openers and spoons due to insufficient motor skills, simply starved to death, despite being surrounded by cabinets full of nutritious, life-giving Gerber-brand baby-food products.

Babies, the study concluded, are also too stupid to do the following: avoid getting their heads trapped in automatic car windows; use ice to alleviate the pain of burn injuries resulting from touching an open flame; master the skills required for scuba diving; and use a safety ladder to reach a window to escape from a room filled with cyanide gas.

"As a mother of four, I find these results very disheartening," Bentley told reporters. "I can honestly say that the effort I have expended trying to raise my children into intelligent beings may have been entirely wasted, a fool's dream, if you will."

Study results also prompted a strong reaction from President Clinton. "All of us, on some primitive, mammalian level, feel a great sense of pride in our offspring," Clinton said. "It is now clear, however, that these feelings are unfounded. Given the overwhelming evidence of their profound stupidity, we have no choice but to replace our existing infant population with artificially incubated simu-drones, with the eventual goal of phasing out the shamefully stupid human baby forever." - The Onion

Lord Frankenstyle fucked around with this message at 18:50 on Apr 20, 2009

# ? Apr 20, 2009 18:48

JohnnyChimpo: Mar 10, 2009; by Tiny Fistpump

so where's the Rule 34 on this poo poo?

# ? Apr 20, 2009 18:48

she-venom: May 13, 2008; by Fistgrrl

This is easily the creepiest, strangest thing I have seen in a VERY long time.

# ? Apr 20, 2009 18:50

Unreal: Mar 14, 2007; unf! unf!

I'm incredibly ashamed at the grandmother for allowing her daughter to harbor such disillusions; it's obvious that the mom is going to be absolutely inconsolable once the baby dies or doesn't progress past, you know, drooling and making GBS threads like other 14 day old creatures. The woman just birthed a baby with no god drat brain and has to tape her eyeballs closed so they don't fall out. But oh, oh, it's ok; the baby coos and twitches and she's so precious she'll pull through we have God on our side. Suck suck suck your toe/All the way to Mexico, doctors.

# ? Apr 20, 2009 18:50

DOMDOM: Apr 28, 2007; Fun Shoe

crazy lady with livingdead baby posted:

I hope that by sharing our story, we can shed some light on this condition they call "anencephaly." It may seem all doom and gloom if you get this diagnosis, but trust me... there is more hope and joy in store than you could ever imagine.

Tell me more about this so-called "condition."

Eczema is a condition. Having no brain...that's something else.

# ? Apr 20, 2009 18:50

proddo: Mar 13, 2006; A++ would club again

JohnnyChimpo posted:

so where's the Rule 34 on this poo poo?

do not do this here.

# ? Apr 20, 2009 18:52

The Finn: Aug 27, 2004; إنه أصلع في الأسفل، كما تعلم

I follow the baby's Twitter feed but it's boring as gently caress

"@TheFinn:............................."

# ? Apr 20, 2009 18:52

Ornamental Dingbat: Feb 26, 2007

Boat posted:

Here's why it's alive.

Click here for the full 517x727 image.

There's enough brain to run the body's functions, but that's it. No thought, no conscious motion.

Came here to post this, Anancephalic babies, AKA frogbabies have enough brain matter to keep them alive, but not much else, they don't live for too long either way, and don't really leave the throwpillow stage.

# ? Apr 20, 2009 18:52

lemon shark: Aug 25, 2003; HOoray!

The videos are awful, the woman coos and pets it while its head sags limply and one arm twitches and jerks. :smith:

# ? Apr 20, 2009 18:52

Bender: May 12, 2001; Fun Shoe

I guess the "good" part about this is that the baby can't feel pain. Considering it's completely unconscious and doesn't have the ability to even realize it's alive, this isn't really much different than keeping a tumor alive for some reason.

# ? Apr 20, 2009 18:55

platero: Sep 11, 2001; spooky, but polite, a-hole; Pillbug

The Finn posted:

I follow the baby's Twitter feed but it's boring as gently caress

"@TheFinn:............................."

@platero: my eye fell out this morning but we superglued it back on.

# ? Apr 20, 2009 18:56

Zenobia: Nov 11, 2007; i can't see the captcha image
where is it

JohnnyChimpo posted:

so where's the Rule 34 on this poo poo?

hehe good one

# ? Apr 20, 2009 18:56

Alucard: Mar 11, 2002; Pillbug

Like mother, like child?

# ? Apr 20, 2009 18:57

Digeridude: Dec 30, 2008; I HAVE THEORIES!
NEUTRONS DONT EXIST!
PI IS INFINITE!
CALL ME A RETARD AND I WILL HAVE A NERVOUS BREAKDOWN ITT!

Disheartening fact: The baby can feel pain, but lacks the part of the brain that differentiates pain from other sensations - in a sense, everything hurts. It also cannot express discomfort. It might be in agony, and no one could ever know.

# ? Apr 20, 2009 18:57

Vintersorg: Mar 3, 2004; President of
the Brendan Fraser
Fan Club

Some people are just loving insane when it comes to kids, like it triggers some weird thing in em.

Id have it destroyed, no point of torturing the bloody thing. Literally. THE THING.

# ? Apr 20, 2009 18:57

ephex: Nov 4, 2007; PHWOAR CRIMINAL

JohnnyChimpo posted:

so where's the Rule 34 on this poo poo?

holy poo poo, please no :smithicide:

# ? Apr 20, 2009 18:58

Captain Splendid: Jan 7, 2009; Qu'en pense Caffarelli?

PopeOnARope posted:

How the hell is that kid alive?!

I assume it's a lot like being braindead, in that it can be kept in a vegetative state indefinitely as long as you can get oxygen to the cells.

# ? Apr 20, 2009 18:58

Tybuc: Jan 12, 2004; I�m just trying to change my life because I�m not above killing any drug dealer for money.

proddo posted:

Speaking of tiny brains, I always thought this guy was pretty cool - his brain is mostly fluid and there's only tiny bits of brain matter around the sides of his skull.

He's a civil servant, more brain matter would probably be a hindrance to his job.

# ? Apr 20, 2009 19:00

A MYSTERIOUS TEXT: Jan 29, 2009; by angerbotSD

Digeridude posted:

Disheartening fact: The baby can feel pain, but lacks the part of the brain that differentiates pain from other sensations - in a sense, everything hurts. It also cannot express discomfort. It might be in agony, and no one could ever know.

Not that it would matter because there's nothing there to experience it.

# ? Apr 20, 2009 19:01

MisterFister: Jul 6, 2003; Sticking it to THE MAN, assuming THE MAN is an innocent casual dining restaurant.

Goddamn that is creepy and that lady is completely insane.

Also what is rule 34?

# ? Apr 20, 2009 19:02

doctor 7: Oct 10, 2003; In the grim darkness of the future there is only Oakley.

Tybuc posted:

He's a civil servant, more brain matter would probably be a hindrance to his job.

Heyyyooooo take that government employees! Hup hup heyyyyy!

# ? Apr 20, 2009 19:02

Nurse Fanny: Aug 14, 2007

Jesus Christ, this is loving sad. Can't do too much, it's her right to keep it, but I don't know who she's trying to fool.

Like everybody else said, the kid's brain stem is probably intact which allows for it to breath and possibly eat, otherwise it's pretty much like a doll.

# ? Apr 20, 2009 19:02

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# ? Dec 1, 2023 22:59

Cuniculous: Apr 23, 2007; kill people burn shit fuck school

Why does it seem like these people always rabidly religious? If I honestly thought children were a blessing from God, and God sent me a mutant baby with no brain, the last thing I'd be doing is blogging about how God is good while I was taping my childs eyes into its head.

# ? Apr 20, 2009 19:03

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > Anencephaly - We all lost Faith in this thread at 8:58pm, 5/23

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