What did you do to your car today? My car isn't fast, it's only 10s in the 1/4 mile

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Automotive Insanity > What did you do to your car today? My car isn't fast, it's only 10s in the 1/4 mile

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Vanagoon: Jan 20, 2008; Best Dead Gay Forums
on the whole Internet!

InitialDave posted:

I got a fresh MOT and tax disc for the Primeval.

I pumped up the tyres on the E30.

I wire-brushed and spray-painted some more front suspension oddments for the Standard.

What kind of a bad motherfucker is called a "Primeval". At least, I hope it's as awesome as it sounds. Please tell me it's not some fruity little econobox.

Speaking of which...I spent a lot of time today Plast-Xing the headlights on Grandma's little 96 Corolla. I despise yellow headlights, I keep Plast-X on hand at all times and she was here for the evening so I volunteered my time. All clear now. I took it for an evening test drive, and Oh my loving god the teensy little 4AFE engine is a wheezy, anemic, useless lump of an engine.

I know it's grandmas car and all, but I feel the need to improve the situation. Anyone know of a way to make grandma's car scary fast :p ?

# ¿ May 30, 2009 05:52

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# ¿ Apr 25, 2024 12:03

Vanagoon: Jan 20, 2008; Best Dead Gay Forums
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kalvick posted:

then get a Mach 1 Grill Delete to complement the Mach 1 chin spoiler!!!

First: Needs to get a bottle of Plast-X. stat. Hazy headlights suck.

http://meguiarsdirect.com/detail/MEG+G12310

Hell yeah, PlastX.

# ¿ Jul 7, 2009 19:27

Vanagoon: Jan 20, 2008; Best Dead Gay Forums
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Lighthammer posted:

Awesome. I would've gone with a balloon but seriously, that rules.

It's a spoon! And... it's tooooo big!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MuOvqeABHvQ

How do you see a balloon? how would go go with a balloon? what?

Vanagoon fucked around with this message at 00:59 on Jul 8, 2009

# ¿ Jul 8, 2009 00:56

Vanagoon: Jan 20, 2008; Best Dead Gay Forums
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Fuelslt1 posted:

Never, ever post in this section of the forum again.

No poo poo. Why would you take off a supercharger. More Power Auh Auh Auh

. You do know that if you rev it high enough the supercharger will start to sound like a jet engine, right?

What's the matter with you? I am hereby revoking your man card, you will be required to turn it in no later than ten days after the revocation date. :colbert:

# ¿ Sep 3, 2009 09:56

Vanagoon: Jan 20, 2008; Best Dead Gay Forums
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Aquatic Daredevil posted:

It was a centrifugal supercharger, not a posi-displacement. Don't get me wrong, I love a supercharger whine, but not an uneven, high pitched, ear peircing WHEEEeeeEEEeeEEEeeeEE at idle. This was not a pleasant noise. At least with a PD charger the noise rises with the revs, this thing was always screaming.

Do they even have a Toyota Prius there? the little hybrid electric thing. You just needed to find some screaming eco retard and follow them around with your loud s/c shreiking at them.

# ¿ Sep 3, 2009 23:32

Vanagoon: Jan 20, 2008; Best Dead Gay Forums
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ElehemEare posted:

I punched my Air Flow Sensor on my '89 VW Cabriolet until it idled properly.

Seriously, what the gently caress?

Is this the flappy paddle Air Flow meter? the one with the vane that gets pulled back the higher the airflow?

This piece of poo poo?
http://www.type2.com/bartnik/afm.htm

The only permanent solution is to pry off the top and clean the tracks inside with some electrical contact cleaner, then glue the lid back on with the blue gasket stuff. It's the VW way.

This might help too, these links are van specific but it's the same horrible part on all 80s VWs
http://www.vanagonauts.com/%5B24.57%5D-AFM115.htm

# ¿ Sep 12, 2009 00:11

Vanagoon: Jan 20, 2008; Best Dead Gay Forums
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ElehemEare posted:

That looks like CIS-E to me. Cabriolet's are stuck with the classic CIS. My air flow sensor is a metal plate that gets pushed up by airflow through the intake, actuating a rod in the fuel distributor. Cleaned the plate yesterday, and it happened that night. Next up is loving around with the Idle Stabilizer and Auxiliary Air valves. INTERNETRACECAR is certain it's my frequency valve, but I have my doubts.

What's this CIS? In Van-land it's Called Digijet (early) or Digifant (late) depending upon the year - and Ok how did the cabbies have mechanical control all the way to 89 when the Vanagon got it in 83.5 (I think) ??

Sorry, I assumed that if it was an 89 it'd at least have some kind of electric control. My bad, that.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Digifant_Engine_Management_system < - ??

Edit: there are a bunch of descriptions of CIS/Jetronic here, that might help you
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Continuous_Injection_System

Just match what you have to the list. I have never dealt with any of those so I dunno.

Vanagoon fucked around with this message at 01:39 on Sep 12, 2009

# ¿ Sep 12, 2009 01:34

Vanagoon: Jan 20, 2008; Best Dead Gay Forums
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Hypnolobster posted:

Sup WES51 buddy

I tried to polish my headlight lenses to no avail. They're so clouded that it's bordering on frightening driving at night. I'm going to go to the picknpull tomorrow to try and find some that are in better shape. That or find some better way of polishing.
I need to get it up in the air and figure out why I suddenly have a little bit of play in the steering, which is horribly annoying.

Allow me to butt in if I may:

Did you try Plast-X?
http://www.meguiarsdirect.com/detail/MEG+G12310

Great stuff. I am a huge believer in this blue goo. I've brought back many a headlight from the brink of being useless with it. You can get it at Auto Zone too if you don't want to order it online. Not much of a risk if it doesn't work because it's like $7 a bottle.

# ¿ Oct 1, 2009 08:31

Vanagoon: Jan 20, 2008; Best Dead Gay Forums
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Removed and cleaned out the blower motor, as seen here, from grandma's Corolla
http://www.autopartswarehouse.com/d...f85c7ab9e&gan=1

For whatever reason the one on her car keeps getting full of some kind of tree nut and it makes the drat thing off balance so bad that it can't turn any revs - at least not enough to move any air. It's fairly easy to get to, four bolts around the frame of the glove box and a couple of screws at the top, pop the door sill panel off to get to that last bolt then just undo three torx screws and a Phillips for the power connector bracket and out it comes.

she lives way the gently caress out in the country and it gets full of poo poo every so often, this is the third time I've cleaned it out. It's a 96 year model car and this is the only thing that ever goes wrong with it. <3 Corollas

# ¿ Dec 6, 2009 05:13

Vanagoon: Jan 20, 2008; Best Dead Gay Forums
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E is fine and nothing to worry about. It's when it gets to W then you're in trouble my friend...

W = Walk

Edit, also why does the car need a tow for running out of fuel, does this damage the car in some way? I don't see why someone couldn't just turn up with a jerry can.

Vanagoon fucked around with this message at 04:40 on Aug 22, 2011

# ¿ Aug 22, 2011 04:37

Vanagoon: Jan 20, 2008; Best Dead Gay Forums
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Replaced the Coil on Plug connectors on my 1MZ-FE V6 Camry using this:
http://www.ebay.com/itm/Ignition-co...165d0d5&vxp=mtr

The factory connectors were rotted to hell and not holding the wiring harness pins tightly to the coil pins at all. No more terrible idle. Wanted to cough and bitch and stumble and carry on.

90980-11246 is the part number for a lot of Coil-on-plug Toyotas. It amuses me much that the same part for a badass firebreathing Supra fits my Camry beigemobile.

Here's a guy with a GS300 that uses the same terrible, rot prone coil connectors who is replacing them.
http://www.clublexus.com/forums/gs-second-generation/564176-diy-gs300-coil-pack-connectors.html

I used the "walnut method" same as that guy, just bust off the old rotten connector housings.

# ¿ Jul 6, 2013 03:33

Vanagoon: Jan 20, 2008; Best Dead Gay Forums
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I popped a P0401 - Insufficient EGR Flow yesterday so I spent the morning removing the EGR valve on my Camry, I found the port on the intake completely plugged the gently caress up.

Like, it was stopped up so completely I could start the engine and drive the car around as normal with the EGR Valve removed. Once I got the plug of carbon scraped out it presented me with the expected symptoms of a massive vacuum leak.

The Vac Control Valve on mine is different but this was a very helpful guide
http://www.toyotanation.com/forum/103-3rd-4th-generation-1992-1996-1997-2001/357502-diy-1mz-egr-code-p0401-p0402-diagnostic-repair.html

Vanagoon fucked around with this message at 20:20 on Jul 25, 2013

# ¿ Jul 25, 2013 20:10

Vanagoon: Jan 20, 2008; Best Dead Gay Forums
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Spent most of the day today helping neighbor lady install a junkyard steering knuckle on her 2006 Ford Focus. Jesus Christ what a lovely, miserable job this is.

She rode it with a bad wheel bearing for so long, the ball bearings just fell out when I started pulling the old hub. Got the knuckle off only to find part of the outer race welded into the knuckle and the rest chewed all to hell and not fit for installing a new bearing so I took her to the pull-a-part.

It takes an awful lot of violence to pop the ball joint loose. drat thing.

Used a printout of this as a guide.
http://www.focusfanatics.com/forum/showthread.php?t=220746

# ¿ May 6, 2014 06:07

Vanagoon: Jan 20, 2008; Best Dead Gay Forums
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Helped my downstairs neighbor with a stuck thermostat in his Jeep Grand Cherokee 4.7l

I continued to cook this thing for another ten minutes after I took the pic. Wouldn't even crack open a little.

# ¿ Aug 6, 2014 01:36

Vanagoon: Jan 20, 2008; Best Dead Gay Forums
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PhoenixWing posted:

Bought a set of automatic fire extinguishers and installed them today. Had one car go up in flames, certainly don't want to go through that again. gently caress fire.

Relatively easy to install, just cable ties and a little informational sticker. Will probably make it look neater when I have time, but, this works for now.

If it makes you feel better - Vanagon / Type 2 T3 vans have this plastic fuel coupling that is bad to break and spew fuel right at the exhaust.

In particular, this stupid rear end thing.

There are metal replacements available, at least

# ¿ Dec 19, 2014 08:23

Vanagoon: Jan 20, 2008; Best Dead Gay Forums
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I installed a new Denso oxygen sensor on my 2000 Corolla today because the Bosch one caused all kind of drivability problems.

Pissed me off something fierce because the (WELDED ON) Flange wouldn't fit under the spring bolt that holds the manifold to the downpipe.

My solution was to file that bastard down. As in, take a metal file and make the flange smaller. Hand filing metal takes a while, let me tell you.

Maybe no more DTCs now :/ I hate having codes.

# ¿ Dec 30, 2014 01:58

Vanagoon: Jan 20, 2008; Best Dead Gay Forums
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kastein posted:

You need an angle grinder.

An angle grinder and a bench vise. Kind of hard to just hold it with your foot or something.

# ¿ Dec 30, 2014 02:13

Vanagoon: Jan 20, 2008; Best Dead Gay Forums
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Rhyno posted:

Psh. You girl.

I like my toes. Specifically, I like still having all of them.

# ¿ Dec 30, 2014 02:34

Vanagoon: Jan 20, 2008; Best Dead Gay Forums
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Does using one of the old brake pads to compress the piston, with the help of the c-clamp not work? Does this damage something?

I mean you sit the old pad against the piston and put the clamp on it and crank down. In this way the old pad spreads the force out.

# ¿ Jan 10, 2015 20:47

Vanagoon: Jan 20, 2008; Best Dead Gay Forums
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On the 090 Automatic the ring gear is on the Torque converter fan:

http://www.van-cafe.com/home/van/page_1564_1501/automatic-torque-converter.html

Terrible Robot posted:

loving VOLKSWAGEN™

Volkswagen - Why do anything using established methods when we can find a way that's twice as complex and three times as expensive.

# ¿ Mar 9, 2015 21:44

Vanagoon: Jan 20, 2008; Best Dead Gay Forums
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CharlesDexterWard posted:

Today I got some new tyres put on my Celica. I decided to go with some Michelin Pilot Sport 3s. As it was before I had 2x Chinese brand tyres on the front and 2x BFG G-Force Sports on the back - I had pretty much zero grip in the wet, even though my tread was fine.
It feels so much better now.

This last weekend I changed the transmission oil and also got around to replacing the 'lift' bolts in the engine. The 2000-2003 Celicas had an issue with a couple of bolts on the camshafts that are essential for the engine's 'lift' capability. The bolts were of a poor design and were prone to wear and shear off prematurely.

Lift is basically Toyota's version of VTEC.

Unfortunately here in Australia it seems that the Toyota dealerships are not aware of this issue - there was a TSB in America where you could get the bolts replaced under warranty but I don't think we got that here. If you can get Toyota to replace your bolts I have heard they will charge around $900.

Anyway, I bought the bolts for something like $2.50 for the pair and finally got around to installing them with my dad. As it turned out, one of my bolts had sheared off:

We ended up drilling a small hole in the sheared off part of the bolt and then managed to extract it using a torx head screwdriver. After installing the new bolts 'lift' kicks in with much more power. I also don't mind the $900 saving.

This is a 2ZZ-GE? That would be VVTL-i Variable valve timing and lift, as opposed to just VVT-i which is just variable valve timing.

Not a bad engine. 180hp from 1.8l N/A. Hits the magic 100hp/l number exactly.

# ¿ Apr 30, 2015 12:30

Vanagoon: Jan 20, 2008; Best Dead Gay Forums
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eyebeem posted:

Straight outta 1992. Jesus.

Except this time it's an LCD being driven by an actual computer, not a panel with a bunch of bulbs behind it, or some kind of electroluminescent thing.

Not the same.

Digital dashes rule. :colbert:

# ¿ Jun 8, 2015 05:36

Vanagoon: Jan 20, 2008; Best Dead Gay Forums
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Seat Safety Switch posted:

Removed the passenger side mirror from the Civic and hit it with trim paint. It's not a great job but a decent ten footer.

I couldn't figure out how to get the window stripping off the side window trim so I didn't paint that, I'll just order new trim.

Before:

Sand:

Test fit:

Looks so much better.

Also swapped the reverse switch over from my spare trans because the one that was on the car was working in logical-NOT (R = no light, 1-5/N = reverse light comes on). Even kastein didn't know why.

You give much more of a gently caress than I do, I'd have just done the job with one of these.

and I have done. IDGAF. After a week or so it all fades to the same(ish) black. Eff it

# ¿ Apr 12, 2016 02:45

Vanagoon: Jan 20, 2008; Best Dead Gay Forums
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MrOnBicycle posted:

Cool as the 4-cyl can be, I have my heart set on the Busso V6 because my god does it sound great and I've never owned anything with more than 4 cylinders:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vTqX0J6Dp5g

Better video by far man
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r7nacFjssVo

# ¿ Jan 17, 2017 16:04

Vanagoon: Jan 20, 2008; Best Dead Gay Forums
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I use NGK Iridium IX plugs in my piece of poo poo oil burning, craigslist crapcan corolla (loving 1ZZ-FE). They seem to live up to the packaging claim of not fouling easily.

I even have the plug number memorized at this point, BKR5EIX-11

Vanagoon fucked around with this message at 00:29 on Jan 31, 2017

# ¿ Jan 31, 2017 00:27

Vanagoon: Jan 20, 2008; Best Dead Gay Forums
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dissss posted:

Reversed into a rather solid concrete wall and made a bit of a mess

Guess it's a lesson to not rely on sensors and cameras too much :/

You have a Camry dent now.
https://www.google.com/search?q=Camry+dent&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwjJ8IDU5eHSAhWBKiYKHZ02DrEQ_AUICCgB&biw=1047&bih=567

# ¿ Mar 19, 2017 06:05

Vanagoon: Jan 20, 2008; Best Dead Gay Forums
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You Am I posted:

Holy poo poo, I have never heard of those kind of dents called that, but that's so right

The Incredible Mystery Of The 'Camry Dent'
http://jalopnik.com/the-incredible-mystery-of-the-camry-dent-1785413530

# ¿ Mar 19, 2017 11:19

Vanagoon: Jan 20, 2008; Best Dead Gay Forums
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Darchangel posted:

I hate seeing those. How hard could it be to just reach up in there and pop it back out?

I had a 99 Camry once. There is all kinds of Styrofoam and poo poo in the way. You have to remove the bumper cover to smack it straight again.

I managed not to earn a Camry Dent.

I wrecked the loving thing instead. :haw:

# ¿ Mar 20, 2017 21:50

Vanagoon: Jan 20, 2008; Best Dead Gay Forums
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MasonF posted:

Got her all cleaned up for Toyotafest in Long Beach tomorrow.

Does it have a 1MZ-FE shoved into it's engine hole? It should!

# ¿ May 7, 2017 23:02

Vanagoon: Jan 20, 2008; Best Dead Gay Forums
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Colostomy Bag posted:

Took battery in to have tested @ Advance Auto.

Person behind counter attempts to hook up clamps. Is unsuccessful. Other counter person informs her that she needed to screw on battery terminals first. Thank you baby jesus I didn't need a part on that visit.

I thought this level of incompetence was only on display at Autozone. I tried to have a battery tested and the guy put the positive lead on the negative and vice versa. Apparently his tester didn't mind. I am willing to slap the cable leads out of someone's hand if they try to hook the car up to the battery backwards though.

# ¿ Nov 9, 2017 20:58

Vanagoon: Jan 20, 2008; Best Dead Gay Forums
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Hope I'm not jinxing myself, but I got a $47 "maybe reman who knows really" starter from this ebay seller:
https://www.ebay.com/usr/widautoparts1993?ul_noapp=true

My shitbox Corolla also has a $68 Alternator from them too. I have to admit this is the second one, I put the first one on in 2014 and had to change it earlier this year, that one was $66 and some change. Still cheaper than the parts store poo poo.

Edit: Here's a starter for an HHR: $53.00
https://www.ebay.com/itm/NEW-STARTE...Box!38053!US!-1

Vanagoon fucked around with this message at 08:48 on May 10, 2018

# ¿ May 10, 2018 08:45

Vanagoon: Jan 20, 2008; Best Dead Gay Forums
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On the topic of eBay, why in the hell are Lucas, known purveyors of only the finest electrical system smoke, selling auto parts on ebay?

https://www.ebay.com/usr/lucasnorthamerica?_trksid=p2349526.m4383.c10

Want to buy auto parts from the prince of darkness himself? Lucas is there for you, now on eBay!

# ¿ May 10, 2018 09:04

Vanagoon: Jan 20, 2008; Best Dead Gay Forums
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Achtane posted:

# ¿ May 11, 2018 00:56

Vanagoon: Jan 20, 2008; Best Dead Gay Forums
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If that's a factory oil cooler and filter specification, then what vehicle is this on again?

The FL400S fits on a lot of cars it wasn't ever intended for. I found i can put one on the 1ZZ-FE in my shitbox Corolla because it's huge compared to the tiny teacup filter it specs. My thinking there is that there will be less pressure drop across a big filter than a teeny one, and it will take longer to jam it full of crud and cause the filter to go into bypass. This is an $1100 "I ain't spending a dime on this heap more than I have to" car.

If you really want a big fat oversize filter than the Purolator L20195 will fit on a lot of engines it was never meant for too. The v6 camry I had (1MZ-FE) specced a L10241 but the Toyotanation guys all said the bigger filter'd fit and it did. Looked hilarious sticking out of the side of the engine but it was up out of harms way so there was little chance of it catching on anything or getting knocked off.

I've spent too much time on BITOG:
https://www.bobistheoilguy.com/forums/ubbthreads.php/topics/3516714/Re:_(4)_Virgin_Filters_Cut-(2)

Vanagoon fucked around with this message at 22:45 on Sep 16, 2018

# ¿ Sep 16, 2018 22:37

Vanagoon: Jan 20, 2008; Best Dead Gay Forums
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Are any of the oil filter relocation kits that they make decent?

Because I mean, gently caress that.

# ¿ Sep 17, 2018 02:52

Vanagoon: Jan 20, 2008; Best Dead Gay Forums
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A big part of the reason why I swore VWs off forever is this piece of poo poo:

The VW 090 Automatic transmission. Absolutely hateful piece of garbage. 3 forward speeds and no lockup converter.

The drive for the oil pump in the transmission is carried from the torque converter all the way to the far end of the transmission via a pump shaft that is several feet long. The cooler that exchanges heat with the engine cooling system will leak and make the strawberry milkshake, the seal between the automatic section on the end and the final drive will break down and mix gear oil and ATF.

And it's part of the old school of automatics in that it's a terrible power sponge. This is the sort of autobox that needs to be behind a big rear end V8 in order to deliver any kind of performance, except that would make it explode because it's a pile of dogshit that can barely stand up to the power of a VW 4 cylinder.

The Torque converter is a circle of insanity that looks like this. It has the ring gear for the starter welded to the fan(?).

The Flex Plate that goes behind it is this nutty triangular piece of work.

Certain versions seem to have plastic accumulator pistons, thrust washers, and the one way clutch sprag cage in the one I took apart was plastic too.

Proof here:
https://www.thesamba.com/vw/forum/viewtopic.php?p=7835491

Vanagoon fucked around with this message at 13:28 on Sep 17, 2018

# ¿ Sep 17, 2018 13:22

Vanagoon: Jan 20, 2008; Best Dead Gay Forums
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Plastic engine covers - because the engine needs a hat!

# ¿ Sep 25, 2018 03:51

Vanagoon: Jan 20, 2008; Best Dead Gay Forums
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chrisgt posted:

Take it to the shelter for injured cats.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9CdVTCDdEwI

# ¿ Oct 7, 2018 18:40

Vanagoon: Jan 20, 2008; Best Dead Gay Forums
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Never connect those lovely little red Horror Fright multimeters to household current or anything higher, they're basically -only- useful and safe for low voltage use.

# ¿ Nov 19, 2018 14:16

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# ¿ Apr 25, 2024 12:03

Vanagoon: Jan 20, 2008; Best Dead Gay Forums
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EvilBeard posted:

It's basically broken off flush with the top of the tube. I tried to get a grip on it with some pliers to no avail, and even tried sidecuts. My guess is the best bet is to pop out the tube and just push it out. It looks like it's just a retaining bolt, it's just not convenient to get to. Worst case scenario, I'll pull the tube, and then have to drill a hole and drive a screw in it to get something to grab onto and really pull on it.

If it's soft enough plastic and it won't push further down into the tube try driving a coarse thread wood screw with a fine point into the top of it, and use pliers to grab onto the screw to haul it out.

Big long drywall screws are great for this sort of thing.

# ¿ Dec 4, 2018 20:19

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Automotive Insanity > What did you do to your car today? My car isn't fast, it's only 10s in the 1/4 mile

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