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Cannon_Fodder
Jul 17, 2007

"Hey, where did Steve go?"
Design by Kamoc

Canis Ex Machina posted:

BIP Animation Status Report


Oh you tease!

I can't wait to watch BIP get loving plastered on oil. Its going to be awesome.

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Leng
May 13, 2006


1, have a quick look around and see if there's anything worth taking, then 4 proceed to the Plethora!

Also B leave the goo on, it seems to have come in handy so far.

Cheap Shot
Aug 15, 2006

Help BIP learn gun?



24 hours notice. Update tomorrow night.

Cannon_Fodder
Jul 17, 2007

"Hey, where did Steve go?"
Design by Kamoc

We can't wait that long.


We must knowwwwwwww

Captain Zeroth
Feb 24, 2007
Im a captain?!

Just wanted to point out that this thread started back in May. As much as I love Bip, this thread needs to end soon. I feel like all we're getting are pointless filler updates with pictures of a cut tout paper Bip sitting in a computer. This is just dragging on too long and I need closure.

griliard
May 12, 2006


Captain Zeroth posted:

Just wanted to point out that this thread started back in May. As much as I love Bip, this thread needs to end soon. I feel like all we're getting are pointless filler updates with pictures of a cut tout paper Bip sitting in a computer. This is just dragging on too long and I need closure.

In counterpoint to this, I feel the updates from Cheap Shot are regular enough to keep me entertained.

Then again, I read webcomics that have plots that take years to complete so feel free to ignore my opinion.

Cheap Shot
Aug 15, 2006

Help BIP learn gun?



Captain Zeroth posted:

Just wanted to point out that this thread started back in May. As much as I love Bip, this thread needs to end soon. I feel like all we're getting are pointless filler updates with pictures of a cut tout paper Bip sitting in a computer. This is just dragging on too long and I need closure.

I'm sorry. I've been exceptionally busy trying to find a job, so I haven't been able to update as much as I'd like. The little filler things are just there as a kind of apology, or because people made a request. The main event is the updates however which I try to get out as often as I can. Next one should be up in about two our so hours.

Overall I've been planning to wrap up this story by update 29 or 30. It's pretty close to the conclusion already. Sorry it's taking so long, but well, I spend all my spare time to entertain people I've never met for free. Some allowances have to be made.

Edit: Also the fort pictures weren't BIP cutouts. I drew BIP into the photos with photoshop. I think maybe some people thought I made a BIP or something. Nope. That would be cool though.

Cheap Shot fucked around with this message at Dec 9, 2009 around 07:20

corgski
Feb 6, 2007



Captain Zeroth posted:

Just wanted to point out that this thread started back in May. As much as I love Bip, this thread needs to end soon. I feel like all we're getting are pointless filler updates with pictures of a cut tout paper Bip sitting in a computer. This is just dragging on too long and I need closure.

I'd hate to see if you started reading QC, or one of the other plot-heavy webcomics.

Cryptic Edge
Aug 4, 2006

by Y Kant Ozma Post


Captain Zeroth posted:

Just wanted to point out that this thread started back in May. As much as I love Bip, this thread needs to end soon. I feel like all we're getting are pointless filler updates with pictures of a cut tout paper Bip sitting in a computer. This is just dragging on too long and I need closure.

Try sluggy freelance. Its been going since 1997 with daily updates except when the artist gets sick (then he just does some cheesy filler work, never leaves a day unfilled though)

Its been a never ending story with countless subplots spanning over 60 major plots forming 9 (soon to be 10) books. Just running since May, yeah, thats fine, lets see him develop the story as he wants rather than cry "cut it off before hes ready"

Cheap Shot posted:

Overall I've been planning to wrap up this story by update 29 or 30. It's pretty close to the conclusion already. Sorry it's taking so long, but well, I spend all my spare time to entertain people I've never met for free. Some allowances have to be made.
And we appreciate it, its been a great story

Cheap Shot
Aug 15, 2006

Help BIP learn gun?



Update

Experimented with highlighters for this one. Man updating takes forever. This one is big.
----

BIP decided he wasn't just covered in goo, he was covered in responsibility. His hugs seemed to make the bad men go away. BIP made up his mind. He would drive off or make asleep all the humans trying to hurt his friends. BIP give a acknologing nod to Go-Ship and bolted off towards the thick of the battle. The sounds of Go-Ships skittering feet told him he did not charge into danger alone.

(BIP's boldness levels have elevated)

BIP stumbled and fell. Something wasn't right. BIP was quite top heavy and fell on his face quite often, but this fall was different. It had nothing to do with gravity.

>WARNING
>INTERNAL DAMAGE DETECTED
>ARE YOU BEING BULLIED?
>TELL AN ADULT

Something was very wrong.

BIP looked up, the cracked desert night had vanished at some point. The white void had replaced it. BIP spied a canister of premium grade A oil, hovering alluringly before him. He took off in a run after it.



BIP closed his arms around the canister upon catching it. The canister however was not a canister of oil after all. It was a fuel tank of some kind. A familiar scientist was connecting wires and studying the result of their combination. Sparks shot out memorizing BIP. The mans features seemed distant and vague. BIP waved to the man but he did not react to the friendly gesture.



The man however was quickly forgotten. Just beyond his silhouette, BIP spotted the bucket. This time that bucket wasn't getting away! BIP gleefully chased after it. The scientist melted back into the void.

BIP caught up to the bucket. His movement seemed sluggish for some reason. He reached out and hugged the bucket warmly.



At least it seemed to be the bucket. It didn't feel bucket shaped for some reason. The bucket was also screaming. Did buckets do that?



This was defiantly the bucket. Visually, it had many bucket like qualities, up to and including bucket handle. BIP promptly forgot the noises he heard and climbed into the bucket. It felt weird in the bucket. BIP sailed on through the sea of orbs. The bucket was taking him somewhere. Somewhere magical.



>ALERT
>BIP DID YOU MAKE FRIENDS?
>IMPRESS THEM WITH YOUR KAZOO
>YOU FOUND THE KAZOO CORRECT?
>IT IS IN THE SAFE WITH YOUR THINGS

BIP has a kazoo? BIP has things? Oh man! Six months of missing out! That kazoo might help BIP fulfill his dreams of making audible noises!

(Mental note: find safe)

BIP was getting real tired for some reason. He was pretty sure he had enough oil, electricity, and that blue glow stuff to last a long time. Why was he slowing down?
Off in the distance, BIP could see something...It was emerging from the void and taking shape. A city. A grand wonderful city. Many robots were gathered there, and they were all knee deep in the finest of oils. BIP was filled with glee! The bucket was taking him to paradise.

Yet the bucket slowed down. BIP reached out towards the city. Suddenly he was being pulled away from it. The bucket was gone. Everything was going dark. BIP could feel sand under him. He tried to move but couldn't.



Time seemed to pass. The sounds of battle died down and there was celebration. BIP heard foot steps. Lots of them. He heard a mans voice.

"What do we do with him? We can't bring him like this. He'd burn through the transport floor, and that's IF we could even get him on board. I don't see how we could even manage that." People began talking to each other in muffled voices. BIP heard the Captain speak up. His voice sounded pained. He spoke with some effort. "No. We can't leave him. He's extremely important not to mention valuable. We also all owe him many debts. Do we have any tools made of his metal? Any compressed air tanks?"

"No sir."

"Dammit. You're in a real mess BIP. I'm just glad he's not online right now. Edrich probably programmed the poor bastard to feel pain."

"Sir we're running tight on time. If we could perha- augh!" There was a loud smack followed by some coughing.

"I don't remember requesting an update. Issue this maggot some demerits. Everyone pack up. We're rolling out. Grab some supplies. We'll leave them for the robot and come back for him." BIP felt a moment of dread. They couldn't take him?! No! He swelled with fear and tried as hard as he could to move his limbs. They wouldn't budge.

"OH FOR FUCKS SAKE." Someone else shouted out over the crowd. "Do I have to do everything for everyone? All these wonderful drugs they pump us with and you're afraid of a little goo." The marine who was yelling walked towards BIP and knelt over him.

"This arm is a piece of poo poo anyway! Make the next one better...put a cannon in it." Oh! It was the orange marine! BIP's friend! BIP had wondered where he'd gotten to. Suddenly a metal hand was scraping off the goo on BIP's body. BIP was suddenly flipped onto his back, and a metal stump continued to drag across him. BIP opened his eyes...BIP opened his eyes...

BIP...OPENED HIS...where was everything? The world was black.

"There that should do it. Someone throw me a tow-EAAUUGGHHHH!" BIP heard a loud thump. It sounded like people were rushing around. "GOD DAMMIT GOD DAMMIT! WHAT IS THIS STUFF?!"

"It's reached his flesh! Marine! Hand me your blade!"

"OH GOD! WHAT THE gently caress!?"

"Hold still dammit! Someone put him under! The pain killer in his suit isn't compensating!"

"ERRRUUUGHhhhghh....."

"Can we replace most of that? Tell me we can."

"I-I think so s-sir."

"Good. Promote this marine to captain. Someone grab this circus and drag it into one of the transports. I want them both fixed on the road. Next stop, the Plethora. No more god drat distractions." BIP felt himself being dragged. Things were getting dark. He barely noticed himself slipping offline.

(Playpen Protocols offline)

Oh no! BIP's head friend was gone!



BIP awoke to the sounds of humming. He opened his eyes, this time with vision.

He was sitting propped against a transport seat, on a little brown cloth. A man with goggles and a tiny mustache was taking tools from a kit. BIP inspected himself. Oh dear. He was pretty banged up, covered in little dents and burns.

The humming stopped.

"Oh! You're online. Did I do that? I don't remember switching you on. I'm not quite done yet, permission to continue maintenance?" The man put down a tool he was holding. BIP nodded. He was feeling pretty rough. "Good good." The man opened BIP's compartment and reached in with the tool. "Whoa now hang on..." He continued to reach in until he was up to his elbow.

"What..? How do you work? I'm not the most senior engineer, but I know enough to know that's bloody impossible. You can't have more space inside then outside. That's just...against the rules or something. Who built you?" BIP had no way of telling the man his creators name. Even that wasn't much, so BIP shrugged.

"I've seen robots that kind of, mimic human behaviour, but you seem a bit more advanced. Like you understand everything I'm saying, not just programmed phrases. Must be why the Captain halted the convoy for two hours. Wouldn't want to leave a nugget of genius out in the sands for anyone to find."

BIP nodded. He hoped the engineer knew what he was doing.

"So anyways little fella. You gotta watch yourself. You were pulling some bizzare moves out there on the battle field. Did some...things, that were, uh, a little odd. I think you earned a lot of respect from the marines. You demoralized the enemy pretty uniquely. We mopped em up good. Oh, not that I'm advocating that kind of behaviour. I almost couldn't get you working. Took a long time, we're right outside the Plethora now." Oh man, this engineer was a talker. Wait, they were at the Plethora already? BIP must have been offline for a while. He had stuff to do!

"Hey! Quit squirming. I'm almost done." BIP sat still while the man finished. He closed BIP's little compartment and put away his tools.



"Oh, by the way. The Captain said he wanted you to report to him once you came back online. Said you should get whatever you need and make preparations first though. You're just about the only one the Captain is nice to. Man is stern as all hell. I heard halfway through the battle, he climbed out of wrecked convoy. Apparently, from what I heard, the suicide pilot was still alive. Captain punched his way into the cockpit and beat the ever living poo poo out of him. You seem to bring out his nicer side. Stick around little guy."

The engineer patted BIP's head and exited the room. He had left behind his toolkit, a little metal device with a glowing orange fluid inside, and a little circular blue light. It was kinda like a mini BIP eye but curved instead of flat. It also seemed to be magnetic.

BIP considered his options. He was pretty sure the marines would give him whatever toys he needed now, but he could only hold so many guns, and then he'd fall over! He was also not operating at 100% The damages had him down to 45% at most. That battle had just been too much. BIP cringed, knowing the danger inside the crashed ship was even greater then what he had just faced.

He needed to decide how to equip himself for the unknown inside the Plethora.

OPTIONS:
(1) BIP WEAPON Offensive
(2) BIP NO DANGER Defensive
(3) BIP HIDE Stealth
(4) BIP RUN Speed

BONUS OPTIONS:
-Suggestions for pre ship-spelunking activities or post breach tactics are very welcome. Ideas for BIP's gear, verbal or doodle. Anything you can think of that BIP could need, want, have, try or do before he goes to the Captain. Popular ideas will get incorporated (since BIP is a democratic robot).

No matter what, BIP HELP.

JamezBfod
Jun 13, 2003

there may be people who
find a blender sexy - I
would do well with a more
humanoid model, myself


Is there a way to combine stealth, speed, and defense? Bip's a bit tougher than he looks, so if it went Stealth/speed I think we would do well.

Walrus Pete
Apr 16, 2008

Yo ho?


BIP HIDE! With how much damage BIP has taken, he can't risk direct confrontations!

Also, I knew that goo couldn't be trusted
(BIP riding in the bucket is an amazing picture though, one of my favorites so far )

abiogenesis
Feb 4, 2009


SECRET AGENT BIP (stealth)

Tesla was right
Apr 3, 2009

Whats with all the robot sex avatars?


Attach third eye.

Become enlightened.

neogeo0823
Jul 4, 2007

NO THAT'S NOT ME!!


Oh gently caress, I nearly broke BIP with my suggestion...

All things considered, it might be best if BIP stays away from areas of action which will put him in harms way. He should stick to a support role for now and let his marine friends do the fighting and legwork.

In this vein, BIP should definately take the tool kit and the light. The light is magnetic, so it should just stick right on BIP to light the way. The toolkit should definately come in handy for repairs, opening stuck doors, and pretty much anything that might require a tool.

BIP should try to find the orange marine and thank him. He probably ended up saving BIPs life by sacrificing yet more of his body, and BIP should show gratitude.

Also, what happened to Go-Ship? We never found out what happened to it after we had our little... um... episode.

Finally, concerning options, voting option 3. BIP DEFENSIVE. Have him play medic and support this time around. Let the marines do the legwork, and he'll be there to help out in any way possible. While a glorious Viking style death on the battlefield would be metal as gently caress, BIP is already metal enough.

And by the way... Did BIP hallucinate that the local guy... was a bucket?

Count Choculitis
Sep 13, 2007

I love you, Shepard. I always have. I want to understand what this is between us... and make it real.


BIP seems to get in trouble no matter what he does, so I would say BIP RUN! with speed! That way when we get in trouble, we can run away and escape! Also neogeo is right, where is Go-ship? We need to make sure our little buddy is ok!

Coq au Nandos
Nov 7, 2006

I think I would say to my daughters if they were to ask me this question... A shitpost is the greatest gift that you can give someone, the ultimate gift of giving and don't give it to someone lightly, that's what I would say.


Tesla was right posted:

Attach third eye.

Become enlightened.

This! This and BIP hide! Stealth guru.

VikingofRock
Aug 24, 2008


Slippery Tilde

BIP RUN!

Stealth is boring, and we might need to get in and out quick.

Sneaky Monkey
Jan 12, 2007

Beware of Hug Ninja. Trespassers will be hugged.

BIP HIDE! Stealth is never boring if done right. I'd love to see BIP try to pull of a HUG FROM ABOVE!

Will Styles
Jan 19, 2005


Run and hide! stealthy speed is the way to go!


Seconding this part

neogeo0823 posted:

BIP should definately take the tool kit and the light. The light is magnetic, so it should just stick right on BIP to light the way. The toolkit should definately come in handy for repairs, opening stuck doors, and pretty much anything that might require a tool.

BIP should try to find the orange marine and thank him. He probably ended up saving BIPs life by sacrificing yet more of his body, and BIP should show gratitude.

linall
Feb 1, 2007


BIP needs more defenses. Seeing as how he'll be exploring the Plethora, his magnitism will come in handy for running and hiding.

neogeo0823 has some sound ideas, also see if BIP can pick up a few grenades and prepare a few traps before reporting to the captain.

BetterWeirdthanDead
Mar 7, 2006

Ask me why I really
went to see Terminator


BIP NO DANGER

Report to the captain and be sure to check on Go-Ship and our orange buddy.

Punc
Nov 3, 2009

Ass to Ass.

neogeo0823 posted:

BIP should try to find the orange marine and thank him. He probably ended up saving BIPs life by sacrificing yet more of his body, and BIP should show gratitude.

Also, what happened to Go-Ship? We never found out what happened to it after we had our little... um... episode.

If the orange marine is near the Captain, we could ask him where Go-Ship is.

Also, 4 - BIP RUN. Let's follow the examples of Speedy Gonzales and the Flash, and move so fast we won't need defence (or, in the case that the speed update isn't that fast, better get some defence..)

Do we still have oil? If not, this might be a good chance to get some, the past couple of adventures were pretty rough, so we need to restore BIP as much as we can. A big ship should have oil somewhere.

JossiRossi
Jul 28, 2008

A little EQ, a touch of reverb, slap on some compression and there. That'll get your dickbutt jiggling.

Finally managed to read all the stuff I missed in the last month or two, all awesome of course!

I think BIP should go with defense. Report to the captain, and maybe see if he can find anything that makes sparks because that was probably the coolest thing ever when he thought about it.

false flag post-op
May 13, 2009

Enjoy Every Sandvich

Even a Hero like BiP needs a break once and a while.
BiP NO DANGER
He can still be a great help to everyone, but maybe he needs a little less action.

Take the blue "eye", see what's in the tool chest, and take that orange thingy for good measure. Maybe smoke a bowl of crude and chill.

Cannon_Fodder
Jul 17, 2007

"Hey, where did Steve go?"
Design by Kamoc

Max out defense, as best we can.
Use magnetism/vision modes to avoid trouble/get away.
Pick up some 'nades, they've yet to fail us (too miserably) yet.
As far as speed goes, BIP has never been too quick, but we've managed.

That's my plan. Allah BIP, minus the self-destruction.

EDIT: and take all the poo poo. We need it. We NEED it.

Hankosha
Apr 1, 2008

SISTAS ARE DOIN' IT FOR THEMSELVES

We need to go Splinter Bip. Become invisible. Stealth.

Magnetic hands/feet would be work well.

Power Bottom
Sep 17, 2009



THIS IS CLEARLY THE BEST IDEA

Edit: Oh Goddamnit I thought I was fast enough to get the image out before anyone else came up with the idea

Talorat
Sep 18, 2007

Hahaha! Aw come on, I can't tell you everything right away! That would make for a boring story, don't you think?


Bip run!

Cheap Shot
Aug 15, 2006

Help BIP learn gun?



Kithrixx posted:


THIS IS CLEARLY THE BEST IDEA

Edit: Oh Goddamnit I thought I was fast enough to get the image out before anyone else came up with the idea

That's awesome. I doodled this but didn't post it.


Do understand that every option will probably have a suitably cool looking result.

That's a standalone image. Has nothing to do with the story. Don't get all meta on me.

Zenzirouj
Jun 10, 2004

What about you, thread?
You got any tricks?


BIP is about to hug the hell out of that bucket


get back here, bucket!

Chaos Motor
Aug 29, 2003

we got a frigate
full of robot space vajayjays here


I HAS A BUCKET! NOOOO, BE STEALIN MAH BUCKET!!!

CAT INTERCEPTOR
Nov 9, 2004

MY WORLD IS FIRE AND BLOOD


3 STEALTH but if you have stealth, 1 WEAPON is also a good idea

Rocket Baby Dolls
Mar 3, 2006

Our agents are ready!


I don't see Bip as an attacking robot, apart from the mental biological frenzy. I'd say to upgrade 2. Defence as BIP seems to have been knocked about, he's gone offline twice, landed on his face from being thrown out of a spaceship... He needs to man up a bit.

I agree BIP should take the two objects next to him, or steal them to raise a bit of stealth/cunning.

Also search for Go-Ship and get a cold one (Premium Grade Oil) as he's been through a lot and needs some R&R.

Plus BIP should find a cape, i think it would suit him somehow.

Blacksmith
Dec 3, 2004



Chiming in with my vote for stealth or defense. Is there any chance Bip can perform further repairs on himself?

ThermonuclearTom
Jul 23, 2006

OW
.
OW
.
OW

It has to be.


(4) BIP RUN Speed

Who knows when things might explode and Bip needs to do a dramatic run with a leap!

Hydrolith
Oct 30, 2009



Stealth. It helps with defense, attack AND running away, so it's really the best option.

Cheap Shot
Aug 15, 2006

Help BIP learn gun?



Blacksmith posted:

Chiming in with my vote for stealth or defense. Is there any chance Bip can perform further repairs on himself?

Yes, that is possible. Guy forgot his toolkit, and BIP learned how to repair his power systems a while back. Could bump up his operation % if done right. Remember guys, if you think an idea is good, quote it or add your support in some way. I'm looking for the popular ones.

Go ahead and get creative with the suggestions too. There's plenty of things BIP could do, some of which would even extend the time before he has to report to the Captain. This is the most free form voting has ever been so make the most of the opportunity.

Falken
Jan 26, 2004

Do you feel like a hero yet?


Voting for stealth. Being a ghost in the darkness has unlimited advantages.

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Count Mippi
Nov 7, 2009

Benson's gonna drop his balls when he sees how good we set up these chairs. He's gonna be all like: "Oh no, my gumballs!"


Voting Stealth and Attempt Repairs. Maybe BIP will find out something new about himself if he fiddles with his own systems?

Also try to find a bandanna. METAL GEAR BIP: TACTICAL BUCKET HUGGING ACTION!

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