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Sunesis
Apr 17, 2003

RANPHA IS MAD LOL
Before i listen to music i like to clean my ears to make sure my ears are in there most pristine condition. I used to use generic cotton ear buds, but after upgrading to these

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Biosun-Hopi-Ear-Candles-Pair-Pack/dp/B0013GAFJ6/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&s=drugstore&qid=1247581268&sr=1-3

Its like i have a new pair of ears! Lows seem fuller and more meaty, mids seem to massage my ear lobs, and the highs send a twinkle down my spine!

Music seems to be more alive, with different sorts of colors and tastes i didn't notice before! Purples and chocolates, burnt orange and deep reds! I think I even noticed new instruments that weren't even in the original recording!

I also now keep my haircut short, so that my hair doesn't create standing waves on my head and effect the sound. But I have noticed that keeping the top and sides short, and the back of my hair long seems to give music more THUMP and KICK in the lows. I will keep experimenting!

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SnoPuppy
Jun 15, 2005

Audiot posted:

Brilliant Pebbles!
Just tape the little bag of rocks and sand to whatever needs to sound better.

You see, I have this rock that keeps tigers away...

qirex
Feb 15, 2001

Machina Dynamica is an incredibly elaborate troll who will sell you a bag of rocks if you order them

King Hotpants
Apr 11, 2005

Clint.
Fucking.
Eastwood.

porksmash posted:

Just... wow.

Please don't do this.

Audiot
May 18, 2006

Sunesis posted:

Ear Candles

:psyduck:
I've known audio guys who have gone down that path. If you're going to get that deep into it I would think you would go to an audiologist and get your ears flushed. As a friend put it, "you'll be able to hear squirrels talking".

This also falls into the guys that wear earplugs to preserve their hearing. I won't wear ear plugs when I drive so that I can take them out once in a while to make my stereo/ recording sound better.

TheFuglyStik
Mar 7, 2003

Attention-starved & smugly condescending, the hipster has been deemed by
top scientists as:
"The self-important, unemployable clowns of the modern age."

Audiot posted:

:psyduck:
I've known audio guys who have gone down that path. If you're going to get that deep into it I would think you would go to an audiologist and get your ears flushed. As a friend put it, "you'll be able to hear squirrels talking".

This also falls into the guys that wear earplugs to preserve their hearing. I won't wear ear plugs when I drive so that I can take them out once in a while to make my stereo/ recording sound better.

I've had to work in a loud rear end factory that had me wearing earplugs for twelve straight hours each shift, and your hearing is a little better than normal right after taking them out. I still can't say that it's sane to do that while driving or worth the slightly better hearing for a few moments.

Are they so drat elitist that a good system in a car isn't pure enough? Putting yourself through a drive in dead silence sounds like some punishment dreamed up in hell.

That Genuine Stank
Apr 25, 2004

Audiot posted:

:psyduck:
I've known audio guys who have gone down that path. If you're going to get that deep into it I would think you would go to an audiologist and get your ears flushed. As a friend put it, "you'll be able to hear squirrels talking".

This also falls into the guys that wear earplugs to preserve their hearing. I won't wear ear plugs when I drive so that I can take them out once in a while to make my stereo/ recording sound better.

With the amount of effort these guys put into their audiophillia, you would think that they would have figured out how to make a competitive sport of it.

TheFuglyStik posted:

Are they so drat elitist that a good system in a car isn't pure enough? Putting yourself through a drive in dead silence sounds like some punishment dreamed up in hell.
I'm no elitist, but there is little chance that you can equal home hifi in a car.

I meant to post this earlier, Ambiophonics apparently there is a way to do it with dsp, but the thought of staring at the end of a mattress while listening to music cracks me up.

That Genuine Stank fucked around with this message at 17:40 on Jul 15, 2009

qirex
Feb 15, 2001

What I think is funny is that you'd think with the passion that these guys have for music [especially jazz and classical] they'd be big supporters of the arts but it seems like they're not for the most part.

Twiin
Nov 11, 2003

King of Suck!

qirex posted:

What I think is funny is that you'd think with the passion that these guys have for music [especially jazz and classical] they'd be big supporters of the arts but it seems like they're not for the most part.

Audiophiles don't listen to music, they listen to equipment.

qirex
Feb 15, 2001

*spends $75,000 "recreating the experience of being right there at a show"*
*every jazz club in the world goes out of business*

That Genuine Stank
Apr 25, 2004

qirex posted:

*spends $75,000 "recreating the experience of being right there at a show"*
*every jazz club in the world goes out of business*

That makes me wonder, does anyone have any insight into what most audiophiles think of going to live concerts? I don't seek out the places that these people converse, so I wouldn't know. My best guess is that they rarely go because the sound equipment is often pretty horrible.

VOR LOC
Dec 8, 2007
captured
I think that a lot of these people do go and listen to live music, but there is a subset (myself included at the time) that were so worked up over the equipment that if you ask them about spending money on a night out at a jazz club or the symphony or a rock concert or whatever you would probably just get a blank stare.

koren
Sep 7, 2003

Audiot posted:

Also, component dampening. I'm just not into music enough to fill something I spent money on with calk.


That's almost as good as the guy at head-fi, who covered all his components in magic paper and soldered his huge $3000 power cable directly to the mains in his apartment. Sadly the pictures are long gone.

Phlegmbot
Jun 4, 2006

"a phlegmatic...and certainly undemonstrative [robot]"
1 m RCA cables



$1080

http://www.referenceaudiomods.com/Merchant2/merchant.mvc?Screen=PROD&Product_Code=ACT_SIGN_A&Category_Code=CABLES&Product_Count=1

Megiddo
Apr 27, 2004

Unicorns bite, but their bites feel GOOD.

Reference Audio Mods website posted:

High Performance Behringer Mods!
...
Behringer DCX2496 Modification Features:
Audiocom Superclock 4-S Clock
RAM installs a reference quality clock designed by Audiocom UK, Superclock 4-S. Replacing the stock crystal oscillator results in significant jitter reduction. Yes, this speaker system has jitter!!
...
Audiocom Superclock Mini PSU
RAM installs a dedicated low noise Power Supply with discrete voltage regulation for the Superclock 4-S
:toot:

Yes, upgrade the clock and the power supply, surely those are the weak spots of Behringer gear, and nothing from dbx, Ashly, EV, Rane, or even Peavey would be better designed. And FCC certified.

Lazlo Nibble
Jan 9, 2004

It was Weasleby, by God! At last I had the miserable blighter precisely where I wanted him!

stizu posted:

With the amount of effort these guys put into their audiophillia, you would think that they would have figured out how to make a competitive sport of it.
Competition requires objective measurements, which audiophiles take to like vampires take to holy water.

Cemetry Gator
Apr 3, 2007

Do you find something comical about my appearance when I'm driving my automobile?
All craziness cannot be beaten by the 3D Mat. What is the 3D Mat, and what makes it 3D? Well, a 2D mat would be physically impossible, and we cannot harness time to make a 4D mat, and a 5D mat would be impossible to purchase at audiophile prices.

http://www.hometheaterhifi.com/volume_12_3/marigo-labs-signature-3d-mat-7-2005.html

Now, initially, it 'darkened' the high-ends, but aside from that, it was apparently so startling that THEY NEEDED TO USE IT despite the darkened high-ends. Now, what the gently caress is a darkened high-end and how the hell does one darken sound, I don't know. It's like musicality, it has no intrinsic meaning, but I can assure you that our reviewer has the quality components, so that darkening had to come from the mat.

That, or the voices in his head.

Now, here's the best paragraph in the whole review:
"I pray that my spouse never learns that my colleague has committed the unmentionable: running long lengths of speaker cable under the floor from his two massive speakers to equipment racks conveniently placed to the left of the sweet spot. Worse, he has violated one of the cardinal rules of audiophile set-up by placing a glass-topped coffee table directly in front of his couch. Such choices honor aesthetics, leave spouses relatively content, and make changing CDs pretty easy, but involve sonic compromises that I refuse to make for the sake of a spouse who has yet to glance at my three-rack mini-universe without derision."

OH MY GOD! Putting wiring under the carpet...

AND WHAT'S THIS? A GLASS TABLE. Sir, are you an audiophile or just another poseur who thinks that just because they buy expensive equipment that they have good sound. I bet that your record player still has it original needle.

But wait, it gets even worse:

"Although I found the treble a little harsh even after the verboten glass-topped coffee table was covered with a pillow, I was greatly impressed with soundstaging, imaging, and solid bass response. There was great beauty to the sound. Nonetheless, there was no way that I could pretend that I was listening to tube equipment. The glare and lack of warmth and air associated with much solid-state amplification could not be ignored."

Solid state? How gauche.

I dare not even try to understand the technology, just let me explain that somehow, our CD lasers are losing information. Now, granted, why this doesn't gently caress up our software (or maybe our cheap CD drives that aren't up to audiophile standards are responsible for bugs) is never explained, but I'm guessing having no understanding at how digital works is the price you pay for embracing analogue at all costs.

http://www.musicdirect.com/product/51325

Here, you can order it here.

http://www.marigoaudio.com/secrets.htm

And more write ups on it!

Up next - a 30 dollar green marker that uh... does something to CDs or something.

King Hotpants
Apr 11, 2005

Clint.
Fucking.
Eastwood.

Cemetry Gator posted:


'darkened' high-ends musicality sonic compromises treble a little harsh soundstaging imaging great beauty to the sound glare lack of warmth and air

I went ahead and collected all the words in that review that don't mean anything.

MaberMK
Feb 1, 2008

BFFs

Cemetry Gator posted:

:words:

This hurts my brain so much... apparently people know so little about how poo poo works and are so gullible that a piece of plastic can make the player read the bits "better". Mind blowing.

Coming soon to an A/V store near you: a screen to go over the stereo display that dims the light so it doesn't gently caress up the air your sound travels through!

MaberMK fucked around with this message at 17:29 on Jul 16, 2009

That Genuine Stank
Apr 25, 2004

Lazlo Nibble posted:

Competition requires objective measurements, which audiophiles take to like vampires take to holy water.

Objective, like figure skating?


On the other end, there are people like our very own,

TyroneShoes posted:

I recommend all audiophiles learn about the speaker design and learn how to read frequency and distortion plots unless they have ridiculous income. Flat and accurate response can be had at a fraction of what people pay. A lot of it is psychoacoustics.
Who believe that audio quality is in the speakers and the frequency response thereof is the most important thing in a stereo. He does go on to say that the speakers are only as good as the room, which says to me that a perfect speaker is only possible if you are able to take the room acoustics into account. I know enough that I would agree that the frequency response of a speaker is predictable, but I only know rules of thumb on the room acoustics side of things. Perhaps he can shed some light on this.

I know enough, also, to say that I prefer more low frequency in comparison to the rest of the range. I am not fooling myself into thinking that my ideal is reaching some absolute 'hi-fidelity'. Then again, I tend to hang out on boards that are more concerned with diy or vintage gear.

Now pardon me while I check my capacitors for leakage.

kuffs
Mar 29, 2007

Projectile Dysfunction

MaberMK posted:

Coming soon to an A/V store near you: a screen to go over the stereo display that dims the light so it doesn't gently caress up the air your sound travels through!

My receiver already has a 'turn off display' feature :smug:

Cemetry Gator
Apr 3, 2007

Do you find something comical about my appearance when I'm driving my automobile?
But did you spend $500 dollars to get that feature? I'm sure if it's built in, it must be causing some jitter or time-pockets or wormholes that negatively affect the sound.

katzinator
Apr 20, 2007
This food is making you crazy

Cemetry Gator posted:

Magical 3-D mat

This is hands down the most ridiculous audiophile snake-oil product I will ever witness. At least $10,000/ft speaker cables are in the analog domain and, while completely ridiculous and unnecessary, may have some infinitesimally small, imperceivable advantage over regular Belden cabling. With this being said, it is physically impossible for a mat placed on top of a disc storing digital information to alter (let alone "improve") the picture or sound quality of the information being read.

The fact that thousands of this product have sold for $200 each makes me seriously want to re-evaluate my profession, as it is clear that I'm in the wrong loving business.

Audiot
May 18, 2006

kuffs posted:

My receiver already has a 'turn off display' feature :smug:

If I remember right, that feature is supposed to draw less from the power supply and cause less noise in the system overall. Whatever. I have seen conversions to systems to run off all battery power in order to cut out power supply ripple/ noise induced into the system. I'm not into it enough to have to charge car batteries to listen to some tunes.

I've also witnessed people arguing over having identical speaker cable lengths. The got to the point that we had to calculate out the delay in a 25' cable vs. a 50' cable to prove to the guy that he wouldn't be able to hear the difference and that no phasing or comb filtering would be caused by that. This was on a concert system, BTW.

It's amazing how many issues there are with systems that are overlooked in favor of going out and spending money on "long strand cable". The other one I have always liked is installing hospital grade plugs. Your house/ apartment is wired with good old romex, so how can changing the edison plug to a new fancy one with a green triangle on it really be that much better. I have yet to hear of someone rewiring their listening room circuits with fancy cable. Come to think of it, who wants in on the ground floor of a company making/ selling audiophile grade circuit breakers? Untapped market here!

kuffs
Mar 29, 2007

Projectile Dysfunction

Audiot posted:

If I remember right, that feature is supposed to draw less from the power supply and cause less noise in the system overall. Whatever. I have seen conversions to systems to run off all battery power in order to cut out power supply ripple/ noise induced into the system. I'm not into it enough to have to charge car batteries to listen to some tunes.

I think my sarcasm detector might be broken, but I'm pretty sure Denon put that there so I can watch DVDs without distracting lights.

Audiot posted:

I've also witnessed people arguing over having identical speaker cable lengths. The got to the point that we had to calculate out the delay in a 25' cable vs. a 50' cable to prove to the guy that he wouldn't be able to hear the difference and that no phasing or comb filtering would be caused by that. This was on a concert system, BTW.

gently caress, I am an idiot. All of my math for the cabling in my new apartment has been calculated with equal length cables for left and right. It's just what I was taught by my dad, I never thought to do the math for the timing and see if it really mattered. Nevermind the fact that my stereo has auto-calibration that would correct delays anyway. :doh:

Audiot posted:

It's amazing how many issues there are with systems that are overlooked in favor of going out and spending money on "long strand cable". The other one I have always liked is installing hospital grade plugs. Your house/ apartment is wired with good old romex, so how can changing the edison plug to a new fancy one with a green triangle on it really be that much better. I have yet to hear of someone rewiring their listening room circuits with fancy cable. Come to think of it, who wants in on the ground floor of a company making/ selling audiophile grade circuit breakers? Untapped market here!

Heh, that was the best part about 'Ultra Speed!' modem cables. Yes, I'm sure the weak link in the 20 miles of cable to the isp is the 8 feet from your wall to your computer.

VOR LOC
Dec 8, 2007
captured

Audiot posted:

Come to think of it, who wants in on the ground floor of a company making/ selling audiophile grade circuit breakers? Untapped market here!

Too late, Bro.

http://www.audiophiles-hifi.de/ Click on the Klangmodul III link

I guess if you're going to run dedicated AC lines to your "listening" or, even better, "audition" room, what's another $50 or so?

koren
Sep 7, 2003

The ultimate audiophile setup, all covered in special ers paper. Directly soldered to the mains for maximum audio smoothness:



http://www.head-fi.org/forums/f21/stillpoints-ers-cloth-works-300753/#post3934105

kuffs
Mar 29, 2007

Projectile Dysfunction

gently caress

Patrick82 posted:

I asked them 18 months ago and a roll of ERS Paper costs $6500 in Sweden. The roll is the same size as 225 sheets of ERS Paper. They offered me 30% discount ($4550), but it's still cheaper to buy it one sheet at a time from Partsconnexion without any discounts ($4500). When I cover my walls with ERS Paper, I will tape together small pieces.

That guy bought 100 sheets to do that. $2000

You would think that these guys would buy a loving oscilloscope already for that kind of money.

Also, laughing at the thought that this stuff 'absorbs' EFI/RMI. Actually, that gives me a really good idea. I'm going to sell an ERS paper cleaner.

This post is just magical:

TheSateliteGuy posted:

Patrick you are too cool with your pictures of 100 lb power cables. I have tried to share some great tweaks with head-fi people but every time I mention anything they show up at my house with sheets on their heads and burning crosses so I do not tell anyone here about great stuff anymore. My question is this. With all your ERS paper are your schumann frequency generators still effective. When I slipped a half sheet in between my HR Deshtop power supply and amp my REM 8 only offered a slight improvement where as with no paper it is a huge SQ improvement. BTW I got a portable schumann freq gen set from EMF Safety Superstore- "Electromagnetic Field Detection & Protection". and it is the t**s with my portable grip. Their earthsafe wholehouse unit is quite a bit more powerful than Accoustic Revives and retails for $249 US....Satelliteguy

Really? Really?

butterypancakes
Aug 19, 2006

mmm pancakes

kuffs posted:

You would think that these guys would buy a loving oscilloscope already for that kind of money.

They would be perplexed at the lack of monitoring for color, warmth and dryness.

TenementFunster
Feb 20, 2003

The Cooler King

quote:

Head-Fi: Covering Headphones, Earphones and Portable Audio > Equipment Forums > Cables, Power, Tweaks, Speakers, Accessories (DBT-Free Forum)
hahhaahahhahahahah

Phlegmbot
Jun 4, 2006

"a phlegmatic...and certainly undemonstrative [robot]"

Korendian Leader posted:

The ultimate audiophile setup, all covered in special ers paper. Directly soldered to the mains for maximum audio smoothness:

http://www.head-fi.org/forums/f21/stillpoints-ers-cloth-works-300753/#post3934105

I can't believe this stuff is real. Holy gently caress poo poo. This has got to be one of the biggest scams out there.

Question: do you think the manufacturers of this ERS paper seriously believe that it works, or do they know they're milking retards for all they're worth?

edit: For the price of six sheets of ERS paper, they can get 1016 sheets that would actually help them:

http://www.amazon.com/Introduction-...48318282&sr=8-1

This is a good book, if you haven't read it before.

Phlegmbot fucked around with this message at 04:06 on Jul 23, 2009

Laserface
Dec 24, 2004

Korendian Leader posted:

The ultimate audiophile setup, all covered in special ers paper. Directly soldered to the mains for maximum audio smoothness:



http://www.head-fi.org/forums/f21/stillpoints-ers-cloth-works-300753/#post3934105

I sure hope he has the fire dept. on standby because that fire is going to be awesome.

uberkeyzer
Jul 10, 2006

u did it again

Korendian Leader posted:

The ultimate audiophile setup, all covered in special ers paper. Directly soldered to the mains for maximum audio smoothness:



http://www.head-fi.org/forums/f21/stillpoints-ers-cloth-works-300753/#post3934105

I absolutely 100% thought this was a joke and was fairly impressed at your effort until I saw the url.

Roy Swift
Nov 15, 2006
I pity da' foo' named Marstuno.

Doc Spratley posted:



The Acoustic System Phase Corrector may look like a simple instrument grade maple block but its inner workings are more complex. When you walk around your listening room you will notice pockets of greater energy density. One of these energy pockets occurs between the loudspeakers and is concentrated at the interface between the floor and the front wall. From the listening position the result is a blurring of the phase coherency. The phase corrector, as its name suggests, attempts to correct this phenomenon by disrupting the energy pocket near the floor/front wall interface through a combination of resonance and diffusion. The degree of resonance can be altered by varying the distance between the phase corrector and the front wall.



This is a basic package of 10 resonators and one diffuser. You can vary the package and upgrade as budget allows.

A bargain at $2450

Is that literally a block of wood? Holy crap.

blugu64
Jul 17, 2006

Do you realize that fluoridation is the most monstrously conceived and dangerous communist plot we have ever had to face?

Roy Swift posted:

Is that literally a block of wood? Holy crap.

But it corrects phases man

Zombie Dictator
Jan 14, 2005

by angerbotSD
We should make an audio equipment madlibs program that auto-generates fake ads for equipment, post them in audio forums and see who bites.

"The foam-isolating pure silver nitrate oxidized macro-cables I purchased today has optimized my treble highs by increasing 94% danceability via tri-phase multiplexidation"

phunkdust
Sep 12, 2006
pants included at no extra charge
Here's a free one for all you cunning business types out there.

Buy a bunch of tubs of vaseline and re-label them

Port Lubricant

Guaranteed to make your ports flow smoother and produce less port 'chuff'

I'd say you could price it at $200 a tub or more.

qirex
Feb 15, 2001

I saw this linked on AVS:
http://www.matrixhifi.com/ENG_contenedor_ppec.htm



A $300 amp and a $200 DVD player connected with cable from 7-11 sitting on a wooden chair

vs.

$12000 pre/pro, fancy "CD transport", fancy cables sitting on isolation stands.

Results:
38 persons participated on this test
14 chose the "A" system as the best sounding one
10 chose the "B" system as the best sounding one
14 were not able to hear differences or didn't choose any as the best.

Lazlo Nibble
Jan 9, 2004

It was Weasleby, by God! At last I had the miserable blighter precisely where I wanted him!

qirex posted:

38 persons participated on this test
14 chose the "A" system as the best sounding one
10 chose the "B" system as the best sounding one
14 were not able to hear differences or didn't choose any as the best.
Clearly the benefits of the better-quality equipment were negated by the use of a consumer-class power strip. :colbert:

And I don't see any mention of the grounding used. If the earth lead isn't capacitively-coupled you get resonance, which dulls the mids. The effect is particularly pronounced in locations north of 40° latitude (the tests were done in Guadalajara, Spain, which is at around 40° 38' N).

Also, radon.

Lazlo Nibble fucked around with this message at 07:53 on Jul 25, 2009

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Mister Kingdom
Dec 14, 2005

And the tears that fall
On the city wall
Will fade away
With the rays of morning light
Wasn't there a speaker wire test where they used a cut up extension cord versus Monster cables?

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