YEAR, n. A period of three hundred and sixty-five disappointments

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > YEAR, n. A period of three hundred and sixty-five disappointments

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three: Aug 9, 2007; i fantasize about ndamukong suh licking my doodoo hole

Backno posted:

How you guys spend that much eating out and still drop 450 bucks at the grocery store stuns me.

I'd like to see a picture of the bodies of people that spend that much on food.

# ¿ Jul 24, 2009 04:05

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# ¿ Apr 25, 2024 02:34

three: Aug 9, 2007; i fantasize about ndamukong suh licking my doodoo hole

quote:

Student Loans 40k stafford loans, haven't had to start paying back yet.

quote:

2008
Category Total Avg
Housing $12,576 $1,048
Auto $3,271 $273
Utilities $4,047 $337
Insurance $2,790 $233
Education $5,671 $473

Are you still in school? You said you're 31. If you haven't started paying back the loans, how did you spend $5,671 on education last year?

Also, if you're hurting financially without the loan payments, aren't you really in trouble when you have to start paying them? $40k over 10 years is ~$400/mo right?

# ¿ Jul 26, 2009 20:24

three: Aug 9, 2007; i fantasize about ndamukong suh licking my doodoo hole

zaurg posted:

I didn't intend on this thread involving so much bashing of my wife, lol. I guess it was inevitible because of the list of expenses I chose to post. I could have posted another month that showed me spending a couple hundred bucks on season football tickets and $30 a game on beer. What I'm saying is I certainly put in my share for poor spending habits and have plenty of work to do myself.

I never really thought of her as ridiculously high maintenance, she just likes to stick her head in the sand and not look at $$, which is exactly what she did with school. She just wanted to go get a degree and focus 100% on the actual school and not worry about the $$ or else she felt should wouldn't continue with the school if she worried too much about the $. I'm the EXACT opposite, I have to know where every penny is going, I called Comcast 3 times when they kept charging us $0.28 a month for something we didn't have. She would have let that poo poo keep on going for years. She also let something like a drat "Payment Protection" on her credit cards go on for years which I exploded about (CapitalOneShit.xls is way too large of a file, seriously I had to make a spreadsheet of her various Payment Protection, Account Balance Coverage Premium, "PlanPlus", a handful of scams.) and had to call for her to cancel them. Ok now I'm getting back to bashing the wife... breathe....

I'll keep updating.

What is your wife going to school for? You have a lot of student debt. Does she plan on working when she graduates? Please don't tell me she's getting a degree in English.

# ¿ Jul 28, 2009 05:52

three: Aug 9, 2007; i fantasize about ndamukong suh licking my doodoo hole

zaurg posted:

ok. She takes online classes at Devry. She is just about done with a 2-year Accounting Technology degree. She has 3 courses/8 credit hours left.

She's worked as an Accounting Assistant/Office Manager type job the past 8 years for 2 small companies which seems to stick her permanently in the $15-20/hr range.

So she's getting a degree and learning more in hopes of getting a better job. Analyzing whether or not the 2-year Devry thing was worth it is pointless at this time. What would be a good analysis is if completing a 4-year BS in Business Administration with Accounting Concentration at Devry would be worth it. She would have 18 courses/63 credit hours left to complete that. Last time I checked they charge $540 per credit hour.

I think you were ashamed to admit she went to Devry because you knew no one is going to take the degree seriously and that it (likely) won't make a difference in her pay...

You're ~50k in debt so that she could get a degree from Devry? Even if she gets paid more, is it going to be enough to offset how much you're going to owe a month in payments?

Edit: Accountants usually only make in the 40k-ish area. 20/hr is 41.6k... She's getting a degree when she probably won't even get a boost in salary.

three fucked around with this message at 07:24 on Jul 28, 2009

# ¿ Jul 28, 2009 07:12

three: Aug 9, 2007; i fantasize about ndamukong suh licking my doodoo hole

Insurance companies are in the business of taking your money and clamming up when you want the services you pay for. :colbert:

# ¿ Aug 2, 2009 06:15

three: Aug 9, 2007; i fantasize about ndamukong suh licking my doodoo hole

Daeus posted:

You're baby budget is just so far off

It'd be cheaper to rent another house.

Also, this guy seems to be in even worse shape than CornHolio. He has a ton of debt already, then he's going to add college loan repayment for a degree that won't increase income and he's going to add an expensive baby.

:drat:

# ¿ Aug 2, 2009 16:01

three: Aug 9, 2007; i fantasize about ndamukong suh licking my doodoo hole

Zombie Dictator posted:

Yeah, this baby is a huge mistake. I'm just afraid with a wife who "needs" MLM vitamins for $100 a month that she won't understand or be willing to make the necessary sacrifices.

Really this budget isn't the solution because the expenses are just through the roof. A baby, a home, tons of debt, student loans, all on a joint income of what, $65k?

Do bankruptcies clear you of infants? :v:

# ¿ Aug 2, 2009 16:15

three: Aug 9, 2007; i fantasize about ndamukong suh licking my doodoo hole

I'm going to have to assume your wife is smoking hot, because she has to be the dumbest person alive. Thinking her salary will increase with an Associates from Devry, buying MLM stuff when you can't afford it, getting knocked up when you won't be able to afford a child, etc.

I can't wait to read the post where she says she doesn't want to go back to work because the baby needs her!

# ¿ Aug 3, 2009 18:38

three: Aug 9, 2007; i fantasize about ndamukong suh licking my doodoo hole

Jolly Green Giant posted:

This loving thread... he's in a hole, not child-up-for-adoption hole.

Long term, your choice is either to sell the condo and move to a cheaper apartment in the $500 range or GET A loving JOB (another part time or full time) unless you intend to rack up credit card bills on MLM in the next few years and be forced into a $300 apartment.

This is why you are still retarded with money
Total: $900

If you can reduce this by half ($450), it would make you a lot less retarded. $350 would be even better but one step at a time It doesn't matter where, either stop shopping for junk food at Whole Foods or cut everything else out and get a prepaid phone.

Perhaps you missed the part where he'll probably be 80k+ in non-discharge-able student debt so his retarded wife can get a useless associates degree from Devry. Or where he is working as a PIZZA DELIVERY BOY....

# ¿ Aug 4, 2009 03:34

three: Aug 9, 2007; i fantasize about ndamukong suh licking my doodoo hole

zaurg posted:

Yeah, I should make the big upgrade and switch to Mcdonalds.

I'm pretty sure he meant in addition to delivering pizzas. You know, working two jobs.

Responsibility doesn't seem to be big on your priority list, though.

Jolly Green Giant posted:

Unless his wife continues the clueless trophy wife role (she better be hot) and gets a BS at Devry (BS couldn't be more appropriate here) he currently has $40,000 of student debt and that is very roughly $450/month.

That's a pretty significant debt.

# ¿ Aug 4, 2009 03:51

three: Aug 9, 2007; i fantasize about ndamukong suh licking my doodoo hole

KarmaCandy posted:

Can you explain your wife's thinking to us though?

Maybe she feels entitled since she's the breadwinner.

# ¿ Aug 4, 2009 06:25

three: Aug 9, 2007; i fantasize about ndamukong suh licking my doodoo hole

Hip Hoptimus Prime posted:

Yep. I have my full-time career job already. I had to move for it and I'm thankful that I have it. I've been looking for part time jobs since May. May. I have applied at over 30 retail locations and restaurants, and I have not gotten a single call...for part time menial work.

Actually, I lied. I got a call from one big box location, who promptly turned me down because since I didn't have a summer job yet I had made travel plans and I was honest about it. But in this economy, it's the employer's market--why hire someone who can't start for 2 weeks when they have 100 others with immediate availability?

So yeah...you will need to put a lot of effort into finding a full time job with which you can support your family. Finding a job is, in fact, a full time job in itself, and if you're not out there seeking hiring managers and trying avoid doing online apps (which, by the way, companies have them to save the effort of shredding 99% of the resumes they receive), you really won't have any luck. I don't know about anyone else on these forums, but if I am struggling to find a moonlighting gig, I can't even imagine what it's like trying to find a regular job (by regular I mean career, in the field you are trained in).

Unemployment levels go down with the more education an individual has.

# ¿ Aug 5, 2009 20:37

three: Aug 9, 2007; i fantasize about ndamukong suh licking my doodoo hole

dv6speed posted:

I suggest you go re-examine your paperwork for your A+ cert... it is a lifetime cert. It's just as good now as it was 10 years ago. (I got mine back in 96-97 and it has been instrumental in getting work as recent as 1.5 years ago)

However, you are right about an outdated MCP being worthless now.

I'm pretty sure he means an A+ certificate is worthless in general. It essentially certifies that you have the ability to not try to jam a square peg in a round hole.

# ¿ Sep 27, 2009 01:05

three: Aug 9, 2007; i fantasize about ndamukong suh licking my doodoo hole

Your expenses look like mine, and our family makes literally twice as much as you. Good job. You should probably start making more money, or spend less.

# ¿ Oct 8, 2009 06:59

three: Aug 9, 2007; i fantasize about ndamukong suh licking my doodoo hole

Nam Taf posted:

I hope CPS takes your baby away because you are a loving irresponsible parent and your wife is a pathetic human who cannot even break her own material addictions for her own child.

Neither of you deserve or are responsible enough for a baby.

We should immediately take away all kids from poor people.

Woops, there goes our entire country's population.

# ¿ Oct 10, 2009 05:24

three: Aug 9, 2007; i fantasize about ndamukong suh licking my doodoo hole

Nam Taf posted:

Yeh because I totally said take them away from the poor rather than the abusively stupid who will put their own material desires before the wellbeing of their baby.

We should immediately take away all kids from financially irresponsible people.

Woops, there goes our entire country's population.

# ¿ Oct 10, 2009 06:45

three: Aug 9, 2007; i fantasize about ndamukong suh licking my doodoo hole

Anyone that says he should give up his child because he's financially stupid is a moron.

Yes, he sucks with money, and yes he will probably end up going bankrupt. That does not mean he or his wife are bad parents. Ridiculously stupid comments like saying he should give up his child for adoption do nothing to help you convince him to change his ways.

I have yet to see him say his child went without.

Most of this country is financially irresponsible and living paycheck to paycheck, that is not a reason for not having kids. Quit being dipshits.

# ¿ Oct 10, 2009 19:13

three: Aug 9, 2007; i fantasize about ndamukong suh licking my doodoo hole

kimbo305 posted:

hmmmmmm

Bankruptcy does not make you a bad parent. Plenty of people file bankruptcy. Quit trolling the guy.

# ¿ Oct 11, 2009 00:22

three: Aug 9, 2007; i fantasize about ndamukong suh licking my doodoo hole

Kobayashi posted:

Actually I'm pretty sure providing for one's young is one of the defining characteristic of parenthood. That by even you admission he will likely fail at that (bankruptcy) means that, yes, he is in a bad parent. That he will fail in a spectacular blaze of personal irresponsibility and utter selfishness just makes it all the more pathetic.

EDIT:

Someone dost protest too much! What are you hiding, three? WHAT ARE YOU HIDING???

Has he not provided for his child yet? No. Could he improve as a parent? Sure.

There are plenty of kids out there that have a lot worse parents than this guy wasting money on fantasy football. You trivialize them by being so hyperbolic.

# ¿ Oct 11, 2009 04:34

three: Aug 9, 2007; i fantasize about ndamukong suh licking my doodoo hole

Fat people are gross, hth.

# ¿ Oct 12, 2009 20:07

three: Aug 9, 2007; i fantasize about ndamukong suh licking my doodoo hole

I just don't understand how people can spend more money on a 2-year, worthless degree from Devry when you could go to a state school for cheaper and get an actual degree.

Good luck with those payments, too. :drat:

# ¿ Oct 15, 2009 08:43

three: Aug 9, 2007; i fantasize about ndamukong suh licking my doodoo hole

guaranteed posted:

And another thing: Do you understand that if you take the option of paying off those loans over 25 years, your daughter will already be three years out of college ( well, you know what I mean) when you're done paying this? Also, you will have paid a total of approximately $104,000 for a two-year degree that would have cost less than five figures from any community college?

GET A JOB.

Do places like Devry/ITT Tech ever help the person? It seems like an elaborate scam.

# ¿ Oct 15, 2009 23:30

three: Aug 9, 2007; i fantasize about ndamukong suh licking my doodoo hole

Breetai posted:

Wiki sez:

In 1996, students of DeVry's Toronto campus filed a class-action suit claiming poor educational quality and job preparation; the suit was dismissed on technical grounds.[15][16][17]

In November 2000, Afshin Zarinebaf, Ali Mousavi and another graduate of one of DeVry University�s Chicago-area campuses filed a class-action lawsuit accusing DeVry of widespread deception, unlawful business practices and false advertising and alleging that students were not being prepared for high tech jobs.[18] The lawsuit contributed to a 20% slide in the company's stock.[19] The class was not certified and the case was resolved for less than $25,000 in June 2006. [20]

In 2001, DeVry obtained permission from the Alberta government to grant degrees, on recommendation by the Private Colleges Accreditation Board.[21] This decision was opposed by the Alberta New Democratic Party (sitting in opposition), the University of Calgary Faculty Association, the Canadian Federation of Students, and the Canadian Association of University Teachers. (The concerns raised are similar to those about other private institutions).[22] The NDP claimed conflict of interest as John Ballheim served as both the president of DeVry's Calgary campus and a member of the Premier of Alberta's special advisory council on postsecondary education.[23]

In January 2002, Royal Gardner, a graduate of one of DeVry University�s Los Angeles-area campuses, filed a class-action complaint against DeVry Inc. and DeVry University, Inc. on behalf of students in the post-baccalaureate degree program in Information Technology. The suit alleged that the nature of the program was misrepresented by the advertising. The lawsuit was dismissed and refiled. During the first quarter of 2004, a new complaint was filed in the same court by Gavino Teanio with the same general allegations. This action was stayed pending the outcome of the Gardner lawsuit. The lawsuits were being settled in late 2006.[20]

In April 2007 the State of New York settled with three schools that were participating in questionable student loan practices. DeVry, Career Education Corporation, & Washington University in St. Louis were involved with the settlement. DeVry agreed to refund $88,122 back to students.[24]

In conclusion; ha. This university has been screwing students over financially and academically for over a decade, two minutes of googling would have found that out, but no: it's too hard to think about what you might be getting into, so let's jam our fingers in our ears and pretend.

I'd rather see community college on a resume than Devry... I just don't understand what is appealing about those kind of places. They must have some awesome marketing teams.

# ¿ Oct 15, 2009 23:39

three: Aug 9, 2007; i fantasize about ndamukong suh licking my doodoo hole

Nam Taf posted:

gently caress you long, deep and hard, you pathetic oval office.

You are one angry ice-cream cone.

# ¿ Oct 16, 2009 00:51

three: Aug 9, 2007; i fantasize about ndamukong suh licking my doodoo hole

CornHolio posted:

I never really thought about it, but I think that helps us a lot as well. I don't even see my wife except for weekends, so we *can't* go spend money during the week. Heck with her working Saturdays even, there's one day a week we can even go grocery shopping!

This one time, I had a Mini Cooper...

It does not sound like you two have a very fulfilling relationship.

# ¿ Oct 17, 2009 00:40

three: Aug 9, 2007; i fantasize about ndamukong suh licking my doodoo hole

kimbo305 posted:

yeah they might be much worse parents to their baby than zaurg here

You don't have to spend money, but only _seeing_ each other 1 day a week? That's not good for a relationship.

# ¿ Oct 17, 2009 00:51

three: Aug 9, 2007; i fantasize about ndamukong suh licking my doodoo hole

CornHolio posted:

we do what we gotta do. It makes the weekend that much more special.

Oh, my bad. I thought you meant 1 day out of a 7 day week. That's not too bad.

# ¿ Oct 17, 2009 00:56

three: Aug 9, 2007; i fantasize about ndamukong suh licking my doodoo hole

CornHolio posted:

Well when she works Saturdays I see her only for Sunday and half of Saturday, but Mon-Fri I usually only talk to her on the phone (unless I stay up till 12:30, which is a bit past my bedtime)

We're no strangers to it, though. We dated for four years and I was at college most of the time. Drive 230 miles every weekend to see her for two days.

Ah, thats cool. Saving money is important, but you definitely shouldn't ruin your marriage for it. Is that how you got into car maintenance, since you probably put 100k miles on your car every year?

# ¿ Oct 17, 2009 01:16

three: Aug 9, 2007; i fantasize about ndamukong suh licking my doodoo hole

zaurg posted:

Well, I was planning on going to 4 more games this year. 3 home games and 1 away game. The away game would require a hotel for a night, which I already reserved but could cancel up to the night before the game (about 6 weeks from now). Hotel is $34, ticket $41.

What would I have to do to go to those games and not cross the line? Get a 2nd job or a better job?

gently caress dude. Where the hell do you get off feeling you can afford going to an away game, getting a hotel, and relaxing on a vacation... while you're working as a loving pizza boy? Are you serious? Even if you had 0 debt that would still be stupid.

If you can look in her little eyes and tell her that you're willing to go to an expensive football game instead of providing for her, then go ahead. There's nothing that could possible change your mind if you can do that.

# ¿ Oct 17, 2009 07:16

three: Aug 9, 2007; i fantasize about ndamukong suh licking my doodoo hole

When I was 16 delivering pizzas, Saturday was the best day. You get a lot of drunks that will tip well, and there are a lot of orders.

# ¿ Oct 22, 2009 16:33

three: Aug 9, 2007; i fantasize about ndamukong suh licking my doodoo hole

I bet it's pretty hard to convince your wife to ease up on spending while she works hard and her husband delivers pizza. If anything, pushing this might make her leave him for someone that isn't a worthless loser.

# ¿ Nov 22, 2009 07:47

three: Aug 9, 2007; i fantasize about ndamukong suh licking my doodoo hole

Why does being a complete moron equate to "oh my gosh, hes depressed, he just needs help"?

I don't think he's depressed. I think he's just very stupid.

# ¿ Nov 22, 2009 18:13

three: Aug 9, 2007; i fantasize about ndamukong suh licking my doodoo hole

guaranteed posted:

I'm surprised his wife's employed. She can't be a very good accountant.

Can't zaurg be a complete moron anddepressed? I mean, neither he nor his accountant wife could figure out they were desperately broke without help from the internet; they're clearly not all that bright. But this is really self-destructive behavior. I can't believe he doesn't understand that they need more money. He'd have to be literally retarded not to be able to see that at this point. It's more like total helplessness, like he's hoping if he keeps posting his dire straits, someone here will offer him an easy well-paying job or a loan or something.

Was it zaurg or murderknobs that said their goal was to rack up debt then declare bankruptcy?

# ¿ Nov 22, 2009 20:20

three: Aug 9, 2007; i fantasize about ndamukong suh licking my doodoo hole

I don't think his wife would stay married to a military grunt.

# ¿ Nov 29, 2009 20:19

three: Aug 9, 2007; i fantasize about ndamukong suh licking my doodoo hole

He's not trolling. It would be too much work to go to the lengths he has to troll BFC... it's not like it would've taken even half of the effort he's given.

He's just like most people: stupid.

# ¿ Dec 2, 2009 00:33

three: Aug 9, 2007; i fantasize about ndamukong suh licking my doodoo hole

Devry: Institutionalizing scamming dipshits.

# ¿ Dec 2, 2009 23:37

three: Aug 9, 2007; i fantasize about ndamukong suh licking my doodoo hole

Serious question:

If zaurg's wife divorced him, would she have to pay him alimony considering she makes significantly more than him?

# ¿ Dec 3, 2009 04:59

three: Aug 9, 2007; i fantasize about ndamukong suh licking my doodoo hole

I hope your parents are wealthy enough to support you in a few months.

:rolleyes:

at the people saying he will get his kids taken away for being poor.

# ¿ Dec 10, 2009 16:39

three: Aug 9, 2007; i fantasize about ndamukong suh licking my doodoo hole

You wokred for one company for a decade and just quit and decided to start delivering pizzas?

You need to see a therapist.

# ¿ Dec 10, 2009 18:54

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# ¿ Apr 25, 2024 02:34

three: Aug 9, 2007; i fantasize about ndamukong suh licking my doodoo hole

evensevenone posted:

She thinks that when they run out money, her husband will go out and get a real job and stop being a pizza boy with a wife, condo, kid and 10 loving years of IT experience.

To be fair, he's been doing entry-level work for 10 years. I doubt he'll get a high paying job with his experience. Help desk doesn't pay that much.

# ¿ Dec 11, 2009 16:06

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > YEAR, n. A period of three hundred and sixty-five disappointments

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