Got a crazy forwarded political email from your family? Post them here.

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Debate & Discussion > Got a crazy forwarded political email from your family? Post them here.

dorquemada: Dec 22, 2001; Goddamn Textual Tyrannosaurus

Toad on a Hat posted:

Yeah Revelations is basically "Take it however you want". I got an email that claimed the Book of Revelations says the "Anti-Christ will be a Muslim in his 40s".

In fact, lemme just post it.

quote:
1. 1968 Bobby Kennedy was shot and killed by Muslim male extremist between the ages of 17 and 40.

2. In 1972 at the Munich Olympics, athletes were kidnapped and massacred by Muslim male extremists between the ages of 17 and 40.

FYI The Bible doesn't mention Muslims even once... probably because it was written 600 years before Islam even came around.

This email is a beautiful, shiny diamond. It gets the first two of its list exactly wrong. Sirhan Sirhan was a Christian, as was Issa. Hell, Issa is Jesus in Arabic.

EDIT: The Achille Lauro hijackers were extremists that happened to be Muslim, not Muslim extremists. I'm not sure on this point, though--they might have been Christians. The PLF (to which they belonged) included Christians and all flavors of Muslims, from Alawi to Sunni, and was at one point led by a Christian.

dorquemada fucked around with this message at 23:59 on Oct 10, 2009

# ¿ Oct 10, 2009 23:42

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# ¿ Apr 25, 2024 10:19

dorquemada: Dec 22, 2001; Goddamn Textual Tyrannosaurus

Vilerat posted:

quote:
We'll keep the SUVs, pickup trucks American made cars and oversized luxury cars. You can take every Subaru station wagon you can find.
Pretty good deal, I think we should take it.

The Outback and Legacy are American made, unless we've ceded Lafayette, Indiana to some other country while I wasn't looking.

I guess it's all manly and conservative and American to know gently caress all about cars, then.

# ¿ Oct 14, 2009 07:11

dorquemada: Dec 22, 2001; Goddamn Textual Tyrannosaurus

Armyman25 posted:

The Shah was there because we subverted the elected government in Iran in the 1950's. And I don't think that Carter "welcomed" the Ayatollah.

Yeah, Carter did anything but throw the Shah under the bus. He should have thrown him under a bus much sooner, but he didn't. It's rather a black mark on his record.

Armyman25 posted:

George H. W. Bush got us into Somalia. I don't see how you can accuse Clinton of starting a fight when the US had already committed troops prior to his election.

He did it with the assent of president-elect Clinton, much like Bush Jr. consulted with Obama about the stimulus. It wasn't an outgoing gently caress you to Clinton.

Armyman25 posted:

The Khmer Rouge was actually supported by the Republican party when Vietnam invaded in the late 70's. Apparently giving aid to genocidal communists is okay when they're fighting Communists who had thwarted us in the past. And the situation in Cambodia wouldn't have existed without US war in Vietnam and our subverting the Cambodian government.

Not really. The Khmer Rouge was North Vietnam's and the PRC's baby. Also, how did the Republican party actively support them in the late 70's, considering the controlled neither house, senate, nor the white house?

# ¿ Oct 14, 2009 07:24

dorquemada: Dec 22, 2001; Goddamn Textual Tyrannosaurus

Rollersnake posted:

It's been a good five years since I last took a biology class, and I'm kind of rusty. Would someone please help me formulate a good response to this, and ideally link me to a good source or two?

You could have stopped him at the first email.

Jesus Freak posted:

Which evolved first? The Mouth, saliva, tongue, taste-buds, the stomach or the ability to feel hungry, without dying of hunger before hand? Can anyone else see that this is a faith based system. Imagine a giant stomach running around digesting everything in its path. This is ridiculous.

He's got a point. I mean an animal that's basically just a giant stomach that goes around digesting stuff is pretty loving ridiculous. That's the sort of thing that an evolutionist would come up with. Now God, being all-knowing and infinitely wise, the intelligent designer of all life, would never come up with something so loving retarded as...

# ¿ Oct 27, 2009 06:10

dorquemada: Dec 22, 2001; Goddamn Textual Tyrannosaurus

Well, I just got one containing nothing but images. Here's the pick of the litter.

Exhibit 1:

Wonder why you can't find STANAG mags or 5.56? It's not a conspiracy by the Obama administration.

Exhibit 2:

Well, I'll just go order me a P99 through the mail, just like I can a cap-and-ball revolver. This dumbassery has not been brought to you by the letters C, R, F, F, or L.

Exhibit 3:

You know, there's a long list of grievances with George III in the Declaration of Independence. Nowhere is weapons confiscation mentioned. These two patriotic cosplayers would know that if they'd actually read the loving document to which they jerk off.

In other news, the phrase "touch hole" now makes me feel kind of icky.

Exhibit 4:

# ¿ Oct 27, 2009 06:42

dorquemada: Dec 22, 2001; Goddamn Textual Tyrannosaurus

Xyven posted:

It's probably just because the CSA's national flag changed like 8 times over the course of the war, so it's easier to latch onto the battle flag which remained relatively unchanged.

And looks a shitload better than the stars and bars, I might add.

I'm not sure why, but horrible racists have a real eye for good looking flags. Between Imperial Japan, Nazi Germany, and the CSA, it's hard to pick the best. I guess if your ideology is too loathsome to think about, having an attractive flag is a substitute.

# ¿ Dec 3, 2012 07:22

dorquemada: Dec 22, 2001; Goddamn Textual Tyrannosaurus

I've been seeing this article's content circulating in the righty email-o-sphere:

http://www.zerohedge.com/news/2012-11-27/when-work-punished-tragedy-americas-welfare-state

The lucky ducky in question is a single mother of 3, all of whom are under 13.

The cliff-inducing dropoffs are state benefits. The actual punchline is that the bigass yellow benefit, the childcare benefit, is only available if you're working full time and is only usable for daycare. Nevermind, of course, that that whoppng $12.5K won't properly cover childcare for 3 kids, or that the median annual wage is $26K.

http://www.dpw.state.pa.us/forchildren/childcareearlylearning/childcareworkssubsidizedchildcareprogram/index.htm

The huge 'reward' she gets for not working is that the state pays for childcare while she works full time. Remember the umbrage the right took about Ann Romney and how raising kids is a full time job?

Only registered members can see post attachments!

# ¿ Dec 3, 2012 08:05

dorquemada: Dec 22, 2001; Goddamn Textual Tyrannosaurus

Polymerized Cum posted:

There is no perspective. No horror is too great. No act tragic enough to even question whether the persons involved should have had access to a firearm.

I've seen those, too, but unfortunately the gun nuts (who I would ordinarily go after) are actually right. The perspective is that there's no society that's found either a decent reason or a legal framework to keep multimillionaires with clean criminal records from being able to obtain firearms, and even if that were hypothetically possible an NFL linebacker absolutely doesn't need a weapon to kill a female partner. The story is and should be TBIs.

The gun control angle is another drat fool man-bites-dog story that the press jumps all over while blithely and simultaneously ignoring the effects of repeated concussions to school-age boys and and the thousands of "ordinary" preventable firearm homicides.

# ¿ Dec 4, 2012 08:29

dorquemada: Dec 22, 2001; Goddamn Textual Tyrannosaurus

Sydney Bottocks posted:

My understanding is that regardless of whatever approach Romney advocated, his great idea was to let the private sector float GM and Chrysler the money they needed to stay afloat, rather than having the government do so. Which, again, would have resulted in the entire US auto industry toppling over a cliff, because no private lender would have been willing to front two very shaky companies the enormous sums they'd have needed to continue operations.

Romney was saying the private equity model would have worked.

Private investors see troubled, but fundamentally valuable car companies and go in, take them private, restructure them so that they are profitable, and then at a later date go public and make oodles of money.

This ignored the fact that Chrysler was already owned by private equity. Cerberus Capital, to be specific. If those extraordinarily well-connected and well-funded motherfuckers either couldn't or wouldn't secure enough funds to keep the smallest of the big three going, saving them without the government wasn't going to happen.

# ¿ Dec 6, 2012 00:30

dorquemada: Dec 22, 2001; Goddamn Textual Tyrannosaurus

Seven Force posted:

I had a discussion with an acquaintance about the upcoming fiscal cliff and QE3, the latter I don't really know much about. Most of it is typical right-wing bullshit though (especially the "creeping socialism" and "Obama has no redeeming qualities"). I'm not good at debating/discussing though so if I hosed up anywhere feel free to call me out on it. Also I put paragraph breaks in his morning reply, he sent that poo poo to me as a wall of text. He ALWAYS does that.
....
This morning:

Friend: I voted for Romney out of emergency measures to try to get our economy back on track, because at the very least he would have lowered taxes and worked to repeal Obamacare, two of the main reasons our economy is going to tank. Romney was a businessman who knew how to make a payroll, balance budgets, and get things done. He had a proven record of not only doing that, but he brought the Olympics out of bankruptcy successfully.

Obama has never done anything at all and has surrounded himself with a bunch of libs from universities who have never actually done anything either. So to say that Romney is an 'empty suit' is a clear indication that you don't know what's actually happening and you just say stuff because you think you are entitled to get a bunch of stuff that you didn't earn at the expense of someone else. All this stuff about race, sex, homophobia and greed is just the standard liberal fluff thrown out to try to justify being on the left. I mean where do you even get that stuff from about Romney and the GOP at large? Remember all those people who had slaves in the south? Guess what? They were all democrats! Look it up.

It's on.

Romney is good with finances. He is not good at doing things that haven't been done before, and he's not particularly good at finding competent people. Remember, Bain capital was venture-capital oriented in its first year and they nearly lost their shirts. Employee-wise, it was able to pull from Bain itself, so the chumps had already been weeded out.

Look at Romney's IT operation:
Fuckup #1: A better Amercia
Fuckup #2: Oops, we got the time zone shift wrong and sent the Mitt's VP update out 8 hours after the announcement
Fuckup #3: Failing to secure http://www.romneyryan.com/ from the Paulite that registered it
Fuckup #4: Orca

Have your friend read these:
http://arstechnica.com/information-technology/2012/11/inside-team-romneys-whale-of-an-it-meltdown/
http://arstechnica.com/information-technology/2012/11/orca-was-no-fail-whale-says-romneys-digital-director/
http://arstechnica.com/information-technology/2012/11/which-consultants-built-romneys-project-orca-none-of-them/
http://arstechnica.com/information-technology/2012/11/romney-campaign-got-its-it-from-best-buy-staples-and-friends/

and then

http://www.theatlantic.com/technology/archive/2012/11/when-the-nerds-go-marching-in/265325/
http://arstechnica.com/information-technology/2012/11/how-team-obamas-tech-efficiency-left-romney-it-in-dust/

Here's a talk from the guy Obama tapped to be his CTO, when he was running Threadless:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MXFyLJ2Mhs4

Here's an interview with Romney's Digital director:
http://techcrunch.com/2012/09/12/romney-digital-director-zac-moffatt/
(The interviewer had written a fawning piece on the Romney IT operation, and he *still* called bullshit on Moffatt)

# ¿ Dec 6, 2012 23:06

dorquemada: Dec 22, 2001; Goddamn Textual Tyrannosaurus

MaxxBot posted:

The easy answer to the "the GOP isn't homophobic" is to point out that just 9 short years ago many republicans, including GWB, supported laws that criminalized gay sex and fought as hard as they could to prevent those laws from being struck down by the courts. Also point out that Tony "gay kids commit suicide because they know they're immoral" Perkins was basically allowed to sit down and have his way with the GOP platform this year.

The GOP as a whole is homophobic as hell, but GWB didn't pursue any antigay legislation or executive orders while president. He seemed to just want the issue to go away. Keep in mind that the democrats *also* tolerated homophobia quite well until very recently for fear of alienating certain constituencies (religious blacks, blue collar whites).

The GOP has doubled down on bigotry of all sorts since the financial crisis showed their economic ideology was worthless.

# ¿ Dec 7, 2012 00:27

dorquemada: Dec 22, 2001; Goddamn Textual Tyrannosaurus

jackofarcades posted:

I thought the GOP relied on gay marriage laws to get evangelicals to the polls in 2004.

Switch 'in 2004' with 'since 1996'.

# ¿ Dec 7, 2012 00:56

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# ¿ Apr 25, 2024 10:19

dorquemada: Dec 22, 2001; Goddamn Textual Tyrannosaurus

Sarion posted:

During the 2004 election Bush openly supported calls for a constitutional ban on same-sex marriage as part of his platform. Of course it went no where once elected, but he certainly played it up.

Indeed he did. I didn't think to look for constitutional amendments when I checked myself. Derp.

# ¿ Dec 7, 2012 01:08

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Debate & Discussion > Got a crazy forwarded political email from your family? Post them here.