Got a crazy forwarded political email from your family? Post them here.

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Debate & Discussion > Got a crazy forwarded political email from your family? Post them here.

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the: Jul 18, 2004; by Cowcaster

I'm sure most of these will be e-mails from Conservatives. On the opposing side of the coin, I have a crazy Liberal cousin. She's deep into meditation, holistic treatment, organic foods, paleolithic diets, and whatever the pseudoscientific treatment "du jour" is. She constantly posts that new age poo poo on Facebook all the time. I'm almost certain she hasn't vaccinated her child, since I got into a huge argument with her once on Facebook when she suggested that it would have given her son autism. When I mentioned that I needed to get my tetanus booster shot, she proudly proclaimed that she hadn't had one in about 12 years. She's even suggested that the H1N1 outbreak was somehow related to the government. Just showing that there are familiar crazies on both sides of the aisle. I don't know which is worse.

# ¿ Aug 14, 2009 18:03

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# ¿ Apr 26, 2024 07:41

the: Jul 18, 2004; by Cowcaster

Sgt. McKill posted:

I got this e-mail from my dad the other day, I think it's a popular one.

To that I would say, "Explain to me one policy of the Obama administration that is even close to something like this."

# ¿ Aug 14, 2009 18:48

the: Jul 18, 2004; by Cowcaster

When something says "NOT A JOKE!" and "HAS BEEN CHECKED BY SNOPES!!" over and over, you can bet that both statements are false.

# ¿ Aug 14, 2009 22:42

the: Jul 18, 2004; by Cowcaster

thegreatcodfish posted:

National rights of the child

That sounds like the greatest thing... why hasn't this been ratified yet?

# ¿ Aug 18, 2009 14:25

the: Jul 18, 2004; by Cowcaster

Toad on a Hat posted:

Haha "Janet Nappy"?

Napolitano Headed Hoes

# ¿ Aug 18, 2009 18:57

the: Jul 18, 2004; by Cowcaster

I don't think I'd ever speak to my parents if they were diehard conservatives.

# ¿ Aug 21, 2009 16:43

the: Jul 18, 2004; by Cowcaster

I never really encounter people who go the other way. Are there Christian Conservative children who have Atheist Liberal parents?

# ¿ Aug 21, 2009 21:50

the: Jul 18, 2004; by Cowcaster

Ask him why European countries that offer "free healthcare, free housing, free clothing" have less unemployment than us.

# ¿ Aug 26, 2009 17:13

the: Jul 18, 2004; by Cowcaster

Yes, you need to correct format this for e-mail:

quote:

>>>>THIS JUST IN, BREAKING NEWS: NEW FEDERAL PRISON CAMP CONSTRUCTED FOR POLITICAL PRISONERS

>> Incoming news from Cumberland Gap, Tennessee: Local sources have confirmed that
> construction is underway for a federal prison camp. Small portions of the
> structure have been completed and inmates are already beginning to fill its
> cells. But they're no ordinary inmates. They're American citizens that have been caught and identified as Activist Conservatives by the Obama Administration. The
>> federal prison camp is authorized due to a bill in Congress that has been recently passed with little media attention. BILL HR 3501 will make it illegal to
> criticize the new health plan or the Government, and it would authorize the creation of a new federal prison camp, some already under construction (picture)
> that would house prisoners in a new secret and unaccountable court system...
>
> Since we were unable to secure any interviews with any of the inmates, we talked
> to the family of one prisoner. For the safety of him and his family, we'll call
> him "John". John's family says he had been surfing the government website
>"http://www.cars.gov" just hours before a SWAT team busted down his door and
>arrested him, and that officials have refused to state the charges against him.
The family believes that after surfing a number of Conservative Activist >websites, he visited cars.gov and this website picked up on this previous web
>history information. Again, officials refused to speak with us on the subject nor
will they give an estimated time before release. Since John is the breadwinner >for the family, his wife and children will need to find some way to pay the >>mortgage soon.

There is no way to tell how many arrests have been made or how many inmates are
> within the walls of this new prison camp. All information about this facility >are covered under "Executive Privilege" and therefore impossible to obtain, even >with a Freedom of Information Act request.

>I suggest that you start watching what you do and say on the Internet. Big Brother
>has a way of intercepting free speech going through the Internet and letting the Government know who sent it. Write to your Congressman that you will not stand for
> this sort of barbaric treatment, and forward this to your entire family so they can keep themselves safe.
>>
>>> WAKE UP AMERICA! AMEN!
>>
>
>
>

# ¿ Aug 27, 2009 15:54

the: Jul 18, 2004; by Cowcaster

EDIT: Nm

# ¿ Aug 28, 2009 21:33

the: Jul 18, 2004; by Cowcaster

Pungent Mammy posted:

This is an original from my dad after I responded to a forward he sent me with one sentence that suggested that Fox News might have a slight bias much like the "state run media" he was villifying.

Love you too, crazy.

Your father is insane.

# ¿ Aug 30, 2009 03:09

the: Jul 18, 2004; by Cowcaster

I don't believe I saw this yet. A friend of mine forwarded this to me (his crazy family sent it to him):

quote:

How's this for apocalyptic literature. This was written by a pastor's wife in biblical prose as a commentary of current events. It is brilliant.
------------------------

And it came to pass in the Age of Insanity that the people of the land
called America , having lost their morals, their initiative, and their
will to defend their liberties, chose as their Supreme Leader that
person known as "The One."

He emerged from the vapors with a message that had no meaning; but He
hypnotized the people telling them, "I am sent to save you." My lack
of experience, my questionable ethics, my monstrous ego, and my
association with evil doers are of no consequence. I shall save you
with hope and Change. Go, therefore, and proclaim throughout the
land that he who proceeded me is evil, that he has defiled the nation,
and that all he has built must be destroyed. And the people rejoiced,
for even though they knew not what "The One" would do, he had promised
that it was good; and they believed. And "The One" said " We live in
the greatest country in the world. Help me change everything about it!"
And the people said, "Hallelujah! Change is good!"

Then He said, "We are going to tax the rich fat-cats." And the
people said "Sock it to them!" "And redistribute their wealth." And
the people said, "Show us the money!" And the he said, "
redistribution of wealth is good for everybody."

And Joe the plumber asked, " Are you kidding me? You're going to
steal my money and give it to the deadbeats??" And "The One"
ridiculed and taunted him, and Joe's personal records were hacked and publicized.

One lone reporter asked, "Isn't that Marxist policy?" And she was
banished from the kingdom!

Then a citizen asked, "With no foreign relations experience and
having zero military experience or knowledge, how will deal with
radical terrorists?" And "The One" said, "Simple. I shall sit with
them and talk with them and show them how nice we really are; and they
will forget that they ever wanted to kill us all!" And the people
said, "Hallelujah!! We are safe at last, and we can beat our weapons
into free cars for the people!"

Then "The One" said "I shall give 95% of you lower taxes." And one,
lone voice said, "But 40% of us don't pay ANY taxes." So "The One"
said, "Then I shall give you some of the taxes the fat-cats pay!"
And the people said, "Hallelujah! Show us the money!"

Then "The One" said, "I shall tax your Capital Gains when you sell
your homes!" And the people yawned and the slumping housing market
collapsed. And He said. "I shall mandate employer-funded health care
for every worker and raise the minimum wage. And I shall give every
person unlimited healthcare and medicine and transportation to the
clinics." And the people said, "Give me some of that!"

Then he said, "I shall penalize employers who ship jobs overseas."
And the people said, "Where's my rebate check?"

Then "The One" said, "I shall bankrupt the coal industry and
electricity rates will skyrocket!" And the people said, "Coal is
dirty, coal is evil, no more coal! But we don't care for that part
about higher electric rates." So "The One" said, Not to worry.. If
your rebate isn't enough to cover your expenses, we shall bail you out.
Just sign up with the ACORN and you troubles are over!"

Then He said, "Illegal immigrants feel scorned and slighted. Let's
grant them amnesty, Social Security, free education, free lunches,
free medical care, bi-lingual signs and guaranteed housing..." And
the people said, "Hallelujah!" and they made him king!

And so it came to pass that employers, facing spiraling costs and
ever-higher taxes, raised their prices and laid off workers. Others
simply gave up and went out of business and the economy sank like unto
a rock dropped from a cliff.

The bank banking industry was destroyed. Manufacturing slowed to a
crawl. And more of the people were without a means of support..

Then "The One" said, "I am the "the One"- The Messiah - and I'm here
to save you! We shall just print more money so everyone will have
enough!" But our foreign trading partners said unto Him. "Wait a
minute. Your dollar is not worth a pile of camel dung! You will have
to pay more..." And the world said, "Wait a minute. That is
unfair!!" And the world said, "Neither are these other idiotic
programs you have embraced. Lo, you have become a Socialist state and
a second-rate power. Now you shall play by our rules!"

And the people cried out, "Alas, alas!! What have we done?" But yea
verily, it was too late. The people set upon The One and spat upon
him and stoned him, and his name was dung. And the once mighty nation
was no more; and the once proud people were without sustenance or
shelter or hope. And the Change "The One" had given them was as like
unto a poison that had destroyed then and like a whirlwind that
consumed all that they had built.

And the people beat their chests in despair and cried out in anguish,
"give us back our nation and our pride and our hope!!" But it was too
late, and their homeland was no more.

You may think this a fairy tale, but it's not.
It's happening RIGHT NOW

# ¿ Sep 1, 2009 18:51

the: Jul 18, 2004; by Cowcaster

That will still fool people. They'll see "CORRECT ATTRIBUTED" and assume that means all the facts are correct.

# ¿ Sep 2, 2009 14:38

the: Jul 18, 2004; by Cowcaster

quote:

'If you aren't happy here then LEAVE. We didn't force you to come
here. You asked to be here. So accept the country YOU accepted.'

This is what I say to tea party protesters.

# ¿ Sep 2, 2009 19:33

the: Jul 18, 2004; by Cowcaster

quote:

3. Kennedy was assigned to Paris, never advanced beyond the rank of
Private, and returned to Harvard upon being discharged. Imagine a person of
his "education" NEVER advancing past the rank of Private!

What the hell does his education have to do with his rank?

and this is a great one:

quote:

8. Kennedy has held his Senate seat for more than forty years, but considering his longevity, his accomplishments seem scant. <List follows of groundbreaking achievements in civil rights>

# ¿ Sep 3, 2009 00:36

the: Jul 18, 2004; by Cowcaster

5. This is a bad thing?

6. This is a bad thing?

7. This is a bad thing?

# ¿ Sep 8, 2009 13:31

the: Jul 18, 2004; by Cowcaster

I seriously can't understand how people who HAAAAAAAAAATE taxes expect the government to pay for anything. They're like little kids; do they think money grows on trees?

# ¿ Sep 11, 2009 16:07

the: Jul 18, 2004; by Cowcaster

All of that is great and I wish they would enact those changes.

EDIT: LOL? And the link at the end goes to the ACLU. Aren't they the sworn enemy of conservatives?

# ¿ Sep 15, 2009 16:18

the: Jul 18, 2004; by Cowcaster

I don't think that Orrin Hatch has read the Sixteenth Amendment.

EDIT: Or Article I, Section 8, I don't know which one fits better.

the fucked around with this message at 18:41 on Nov 3, 2009

# ¿ Nov 3, 2009 18:38

the: Jul 18, 2004; by Cowcaster

When conservatives complain about taxes, I always ask them how the gently caress they expect the government to pay for anything.

"Why yes, I'd love a 1st world civilization, but DON'T MAKE ME PAY FOR IT! :bahgawd:

# ¿ Nov 3, 2009 19:00

the: Jul 18, 2004; by Cowcaster

LorneReams posted:

HAHAHAHA, what the gently caress? When has Orrin Hatch EVER given a flying gently caress about personal liberties and rights?

Maybe when he argued that people should have their computers destroyed for downloading music:

Wikipedia posted:

Hatch caused an overnight controversy on June 17, 2003 by proposing that copyright owners should be able to destroy the computer equipment and information of those suspected of copyright infringement, including file sharing. In the face of criticism, especially from technology and privacy advocates, Hatch withdrew his suggestion days later, after it was discovered that Sen. Hatch's official website was using an unlicensed JavaScript menu from United Kingdom based software developer Milonic Solutions. Milonic founder Andy Woolley stated that "We've had no contact with them. They are in breach of our licensing terms." Shortly after the publication of that story in Wired magazine, the company who runs Hatch's website contacted Milonic to start registration.

One year later, he proposed the controversial INDUCE Act that attempted to make illegal all tools that could be used for copyright infringement. According to many critics, this act would effectively outlaw the Internet and personal computers, giving unprecedented legal leverage to media companies.

# ¿ Nov 3, 2009 20:32

the: Jul 18, 2004; by Cowcaster

My girlfriend's father today said that the way to solve the "immigration problem" is to refuse treatment to any illegals at an emergency room. This would also reduce our healthcare costs.

I didn't call him misanthropic until after he'd left the room.

# ¿ Nov 26, 2009 04:42

the: Jul 18, 2004; by Cowcaster

I didn't know people could drown in snow.

# ¿ Jan 6, 2010 19:28

the: Jul 18, 2004; by Cowcaster

My parents forwarded that Blizzard/Katrina e-mail today. I immediately replied to all (including all the people he forwarded to) with "Don't forward this racist crap anymore."

My mother replied with "I don't see how it's racist! The people banded together to solve a problem."

:ughh:

# ¿ Jan 15, 2010 03:43

the: Jul 18, 2004; by Cowcaster

I have of course heard of the slavery thing, it's possible that it's true... but there's zero proof of it one way or the other.

# ¿ Jan 26, 2010 16:15

the: Jul 18, 2004; by Cowcaster

They're going to punch you in the face at the next family reunion.

# ¿ Jan 28, 2010 22:33

the: Jul 18, 2004; by Cowcaster

How do you pronounced "Obamite?"

Is it OH-buh-MITE or oh-BAH-mite?

# ¿ Feb 4, 2010 15:48

the: Jul 18, 2004; by Cowcaster

Why would anyone want to be a Senator with those kinds of restrictions? Plus, most of those aren't applied to CEOs of businesses, much less civil servants.

# ¿ Feb 5, 2010 21:55

the: Jul 18, 2004; by Cowcaster

This conversation is currently "ongoing" on facebook:

Gus - Why give miranda rights to terrorists and treat them like a civilian? GG.
-------
Julio likes this

Julio - Agreed bro, I imagine its easy to make out "you have the right to remain silent" under heavy machine gun fire, morters and rpg's.

Me - Why even have a trial at all? Just put them up against a wall and pull the trigger. Who needs due process?

Gus - I don't know. No one has balls anymore

Me - Guilty until proven innocent for the win!

Jamie - Terrorists are not soldiers, nor are they covered by the Geneva Conventions. Why they should be afforded rights under the very same Constitution which they seek to destroy is beyond me. We would not allow a soldier from another country to be tried in our civilian courts, and we definitely do not owe terrorists the privilege either.

Me - Richard Ried, Timothy McVeigh, Ted Kaczynski, Eric Rudolph

Gus - And its stupid we can't use the only method of "torture" the U.S. has which is not even torture. We've only done it 3 times and it works well. Sigh. If only it were the 1940s. Nagasaki/Hiroshima methods? Lol

Me - You mean the same methods of torture that we tried and hung Japanese soldiers for using on American prisoners of war?

Gus - YES! Lol jk. Just the water board thing, forgot what its called. They just lay you upside down and pour water on your face, actually highly effective. But apprently its immoral and not nice.

Jamie - The 4 you named are US citizens who have Constitutional protection by virtue of having been born in the US. Military detention and trial is not torture. It is a matter of national security.

Me - @Gus: No, it isn't. @Jamie: But they're terrorists, right? And terrorists, by your own admission, seek to destroy our constitution. They're enemy combatants. We should not afford them due process.

Jamie - The "guilty until proven innocent" remark is moot; many of these monsters admit readily that they perpetrated the acts that are ascribed to them. Once an admission has been made there should be no need for a trial. Terrorists who are US citizens are US citizens regardless of their intent. The terrorists to whom Gus is referring are by no means US citizens, nor have they ever been. Therefore they do not deserve protection as such.

Me - So, let me get this line of logic straight... Misguided teenager who failed to light his underwear on fire: torture him and throw him in a military tribunal. Oklahoma City bomber: He's an okay guy who should get a normal trial. What about Nidal Hassan... let me guess.... military tribunal? But wait... he's a U.S. Citizen.. what will you do?

Gus - Eh, not from what I've read, but alright.

Me - Gus, the problem with waterboarding is that it's torture. This means that it puts you under so much mental and physical stress that you'd literally admit to anything. If I wanted to, I could waterboard you and only stop once you admit that you like getting pegged in the rear end by dudes. And I'd waterboard you, and I'm 100% sure that you'd crack and "admit" to it. Does this mean you were telling the truth? Of course not. It means that you were just saying whatever you could to make the pain stop. This is why it doesn't work and will never work.

the fucked around with this message at 21:14 on Feb 8, 2010

# ¿ Feb 8, 2010 20:59

the: Jul 18, 2004; by Cowcaster

Gifts for Audiophiles posted:

I saw this on Fox & Friends this morning, and after talking about it they put up an altered image that swapped the picture of Bush with a picture of the Constitution.

Man, that's hilarious! :ughh:

# ¿ Feb 15, 2010 19:15

the: Jul 18, 2004; by Cowcaster

Miss Fats posted:

Edit: By the way, Dr. Jim Murk is this guy: http://www.murkfamilyministries.org/

http://www.murkfamilyministries.org/articles.html

:psyduck:

Jesus Christ...

# ¿ Mar 8, 2010 19:06

the: Jul 18, 2004; by Cowcaster

Yes because the industrial revolution and global events have nothing to do with the national debt.

# ¿ Mar 11, 2010 22:07

the: Jul 18, 2004; by Cowcaster

Whenever people complain about taxes, I always ask them how they would pay for every public resource in a 1st world country (schools, running water, libraries, roads) without taxing the income of the citizens. I can never get a good answer.

# ¿ Mar 11, 2010 22:26

the: Jul 18, 2004; by Cowcaster

quote:

That�s great NFL & CBS. I remember the good old days when I was a child and could watch an NFL football game with my family - without being violated.

Yes, back in the good old days where I wasn't RAPED in the rear end LITERALLY while sitting down to watch a football game.

# ¿ Mar 24, 2010 17:12

the: Jul 18, 2004; by Cowcaster

I stopped the video once I read the description of "When 94 percent of Catholic senators vote to kill children..."

# ¿ Mar 26, 2010 16:38

the: Jul 18, 2004; by Cowcaster

Without Hitler we wouldn't have a unified German state.

Therefore, Hitler is good.

# ¿ Mar 31, 2010 17:03

the: Jul 18, 2004; by Cowcaster

I think you can technically do that if you're a homeless drifter.

# ¿ Apr 15, 2010 15:18

the: Jul 18, 2004; by Cowcaster

Funny how everyone on Fox News this morning was defending the NDoP after it was ruled unconstitional.... after they were arguing the health care bill shouldn't be allowed because it's unconstitutional.

Also, they said on the show that it was a tradition in our country, something about the founding fathers (except it was passed in 1952), but failed to mention other traditions our founding fathers had that we don't honor anymore (see: Slavery).

# ¿ Apr 16, 2010 15:57

the: Jul 18, 2004; by Cowcaster

brewz posted:

I'm guessing with the sources quoted this would qualify for the thread. (Came from my uncle also)

Is it bad that I support everything in that bill that was listed in the e-mail?

# ¿ Apr 20, 2010 04:00

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# ¿ Apr 26, 2024 07:41

the: Jul 18, 2004; by Cowcaster

notcreativeenough posted:

ER isn't free.

Neither is freedom :colbert:

# ¿ Apr 21, 2010 19:54

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Debate & Discussion > Got a crazy forwarded political email from your family? Post them here.

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