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thrilla in vanilla
Oct 9, 2012





Frankly, I ain't too into Chris these days. Always coming and going. Mostly going. Never includes a player. Talks big on old business guys with money who crave his ideas. Always wearing that quilted puffer vest with the sheepskin collar. Guy's buffing a move and shading an OG. Screw that man.

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Noise Machine
Dec 3, 2005

Today is a good day to save.



Here's a story about how my friend's favorite maglite almost got him suspended from high school graduation

My class senior year of high school was printing out souvenir shirts, it was one of those designs where it was the last two digits of the graduating year but blown up so everyone could write their signature in it.

My friend just drew his favorite maglite 3 cell D, best weight to length ratio for his signature and then got caught by the administration who asked if he drew a penis, and that he would be barred from the graduation ceremony if he lied to them.

My friend could either talk about his favorite comic strip and how they start a line of greeting cards for dudes which invites them to draw their favorite maglite or take the easy road out and say he drew a penis.

He said he drew a penis.

Which made us laugh hysterically once we realized it dove-tailed so gracefully into the "Everything I draw ends up lookin like a dick" joke

Stringent
Dec 22, 2004

The internet is the universal sewer.


lol

Jerusalem
May 20, 2004

Would you be my new best friends?


God I forgot all about the Maglite. Ray going,"Is he arresting me? Is this a... "friends' arrest"?" is one of my favorite lines in Achewood

boo_radley
Dec 30, 2005

Politeness costs nothing

Rev. Bleech_ posted:

anyone else notice the Complete Canon has been pushed back to 2022? May as well rename it Achewood Cookbook 3

I thought this was a bit, but no



e: your guess as to which button I pressed belies your measure of me as a man

KICK BAMA KICK
Mar 2, 2009



superpenis testicles

Gatto Grigio
Feb 9, 2020



It’s been over a decade since Ray came out as a Breast Man.

Is he still into them big ol’ titties or has he graduated to HOLE MAN?

Ugly In The Morning
Jul 1, 2010

Dang dicknose don't tuck that money under your eyelids!


Pillbug

I think becoming a HOLE MAN is more “expulsion” than “graduation”.

GATOS Y VATOS
Aug 22, 2002



I haven’t read it in well over a decade. Is Achewood still around?

Ugly In The Morning
Jul 1, 2010

Dang dicknose don't tuck that money under your eyelids!


Pillbug

As in you can read it still, yes. No new content since the 2016 year of a strip a week though.

withak
Jan 15, 2003


Fun Shoe

Next cookbook coming any day now.

ColdPie
Jun 9, 2006



Hair Elf

V.I.P. Entertainment Concepts presents...

Tim Simmons in...

THE DUDE HAS GOT NO MERCY

Ugly In The Morning
Jul 1, 2010

Dang dicknose don't tuck that money under your eyelids!


Pillbug

J. Vincent J. Lemoni is my favorite fake name in Achewood, or perhaps all of fiction. I have no idea why.

Ok Comboomer
Oct 20, 2007



Ugly In The Morning posted:

J. Vincent J. Lemoni is my favorite fake name in Achewood, or perhaps all of fiction. I have no idea why.

Restroom Eyes



also all the euphemisms for defecating, like “dropping hind-fruit ‘pon the earth” and “making plop-plops”

and of course “making pickles” to describe pissing and making GBS threads, as in an extremely inebriated Ray Smuckles making pickles in a hotel bed to the disgust and chagrin of his best friend, later feeling forced to abscond with the bed linens in shame

Libra
Jan 5, 2011



And put a bullet in them.

Ok Comboomer
Oct 20, 2007



Libra posted:

And put a bullet in them.

in the middle of the desert, no less

Angry_Ed
Mar 30, 2010




Grimey Drawer

A turd with a bullet in it ain't exactly the 5 O'clock News Ray

KICK BAMA KICK
Mar 2, 2009



Guy wouldn't even LOOK at my credit card

Deathlove
Feb 20, 2003



Pillbug

The wine so bad it made the news

A Single Sphink
Feb 10, 2004

COMICS CRIMINAL



Was listening to Kool Keith today, and he's got a song called Maxi Curls, and all I could think of was J.J. the Land Retard.

davidspackage
May 16, 2007



Exciting Lemon

Ok Comboomer posted:

Restroom Eyes



also all the euphemisms for defecating, like “dropping hind-fruit ‘pon the earth” and “making plop-plops”

and of course “making pickles” to describe pissing and making GBS threads, as in an extremely inebriated Ray Smuckles making pickles in a hotel bed to the disgust and chagrin of his best friend, later feeling forced to abscond with the bed linens in shame

People call that thing cats do where they massage you with their paws "makin' biscuits" and it always makes me think of this, which is why I do not call it that.

Ugly In The Morning
Jul 1, 2010

Dang dicknose don't tuck that money under your eyelids!


Pillbug

A Single Sphink posted:

Was listening to Kool Keith today, and he's got a song called Maxi Curls, and all I could think of was J.J. the Land Retard.

For the last fifteen years (Jesus Christ I started reading Achewood fifteen years ago?!) ive had that pop into my head unbidden. It also makes me wonder if there are air and sea ones as well.

drrockso20
May 6, 2013

Has Not Actually Done Cocaine


Ugly In The Morning posted:

It also makes me wonder if there are air and sea ones as well.

Same

Ok Comboomer
Oct 20, 2007



davidspackage posted:

People call that thing cats do where they massage you with their paws "makin' biscuits" and it always makes me think of this, which is why I do not call it that.

what show/comic called it “making science”? I 100% didn’t make that up, I got it from somewhere, but I can’t remember where

theironjef
Aug 11, 2009

The archmage of unexpected stinks.



Like Diamond Jim Brady I say pshaw to you! Curse it all!

Ok Comboomer
Oct 20, 2007



I boo the nacho as his father

Jerusalem
May 20, 2004

Would you be my new best friends?


Pffft, I guess Welshmen fear the unknown

theironjef
Aug 11, 2009

The archmage of unexpected stinks.



Dog, do not drag that merkin in the breakfast eggs. You gonna ruin that merkin!

paranoid randroid
Mar 4, 2007


Deathlove posted:

The wine so bad it made the news

christ! it smells like someone working on a car!

palamedes
Mar 9, 2008


paranoid randroid posted:

christ! it smells like someone working on a car!

you don't LIKE it, what you LIKE is that you're holding something the police will wrestle you for

the numa numa song
Oct 3, 2006

Even though
I'm better than you
I am not

Am I crazy, or is there a strip where Ray blames a bad golf game on letting scientists cut his dick off the night before?

Also, is the Achewood search bot horrible? I'm pretty sure it's horrible. Or otherwise just not searching the entire catalog.

e: Turns out it was in the GQ run of strips, which I completely forgot were a thing. Here it is, should you be missing it.
Jury remains out on the search bot. I can't locate the gently caress You Friday office smells edition, despite use of uncommon words in webcomics such as "Bolsheviks". A celebration of the English language, if only I can find the dang thing.

the numa numa song fucked around with this message at 04:16 on Mar 31, 2021

drrockso20
May 6, 2013

Has Not Actually Done Cocaine


the numa numa song posted:

Am I crazy, or is there a strip where Ray blames a bad golf game on letting scientists cut his dick off the night before?

Also, is the Achewood search bot horrible? I'm pretty sure it's horrible. Or otherwise just not searching the entire catalog.

e: Turns out it was in the GQ run of strips, which I completely forgot were a thing. Here it is, should you be missing it.
Jury remains out on the search bot. I can't locate the gently caress You Friday office smells edition, despite use of uncommon words in webcomics such as "Bolsheviks". A celebration of the English language, if only I can find the dang thing.

Haven't seen that one before, the Whole Foods route is the funniest one

Zefiel
Sep 14, 2007

You can do whatever you want in life.



palamedes posted:

you don't LIKE it, what you LIKE is that you're holding something the police will wrestle you for

Is the police wrestling you because of your actions on Gusano Rojo, or because they want to drink the Gusano Rojo too?

Zereth
Jul 8, 2003




the numa numa song posted:

Am I crazy, or is there a strip where Ray blames a bad golf game on letting scientists cut his dick off the night before?

Also, is the Achewood search bot horrible? I'm pretty sure it's horrible. Or otherwise just not searching the entire catalog.
I think it has to be manually updated and nobody's done that after a certain date. So, yeah, the latter.

Ugly In The Morning
Jul 1, 2010

Dang dicknose don't tuck that money under your eyelids!


Pillbug

Zereth posted:

I think it has to be manually updated and nobody's done that after a certain date. So, yeah, the latter.

The ability to update it manually goes away in like 2008 but there are some past there that are already logged. That comic definitely exists though. I think it’s a flowchart.

Phy
Jun 27, 2008





Fun Shoe

Zefiel posted:

Is the police wrestling you because of your actions on Gusano Rojo, or because they want to drink the Gusano Rojo too?

I always read it like they were trying to take the dangerous thing away from you, the same way they would a nail-bat or a cartoony dynamite plunger, and for much the same reasons

E: happy Oldsmobile page

JethroMcB
Jan 23, 2004

We're normal now.
We love your family.


the numa numa song posted:

Am I crazy, or is there a strip where Ray blames a bad golf game on letting scientists cut his dick off the night before?

SOON:

Perfect Friends.

ManiacClown
May 30, 2002

Gone, gone, O honky man,
And rise the M.C. Etrigan!



the numa numa song posted:

Am I crazy, or is there a strip where Ray blames a bad golf game on letting scientists cut his dick off the night before?

Also, is the Achewood search bot horrible? I'm pretty sure it's horrible. Or otherwise just not searching the entire catalog.

e: Turns out it was in the GQ run of strips, which I completely forgot were a thing. Here it is, should you be missing it.
Jury remains out on the search bot. I can't locate the gently caress You Friday office smells edition, despite use of uncommon words in webcomics such as "Bolsheviks". A celebration of the English language, if only I can find the dang thing.

I can't find the one with Llap Goch, the Welsh martial art. Can anyone help a brother out?

Lurdiak
Feb 25, 2006

I believe in a universe that doesn't care, and people that do.




ManiacClown posted:

I can't find the one with Llap Goch, the Welsh martial art. Can anyone help a brother out?

That's definitely not on the site.

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Party Boat
Oct 31, 2007

where did that other dog come from

who is he



ManiacClown posted:

I can't find the one with Llap Goch, the Welsh martial art. Can anyone help a brother out?

This? I think it's a Monty Python thing, not Achewood

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