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Colostomy Bag
Jan 11, 2016

C-Bangin' it



Gorilla Salad posted:


Yes, it's directly behind the rear wheel and your only way to access it is to climb under the car. Due to the ride height, Ford decided against using jack points on the body of the vehicle and instead decided to put them on the rear trailing arms as close to the wheel as they could.


What about the front?

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Colostomy Bag
Jan 11, 2016

C-Bangin' it



Gorilla Salad posted:


Ford did not take much time in making the Escape easy to repair or service.

I hear ya. Do a plug change on a Triton equipped F150 or Expedition with rear air.

To contribute a little bit with a jack experience, I'll tell you my dumbass story.

So my (new to me) German car required a jack pad. It is my first German car and frankly I was impressed because I feel it is a better design than reinforced pinch welds. So I buy a nice jack pad that "stays put" in the pocket so I can maneuver the floor jack under it.

I do a rear brake job. Take it out for some spirited runs to get the pads to bed in. You can guess what happens next. I notice the jack pad still there after the drive. Simple mistake but it could of ruined my day and could of killed someone.

Colostomy Bag
Jan 11, 2016

C-Bangin' it



Hell, it is a great company compared to years ago. Half of the adventure of moving was renting some clapped out aluminum shitbox with failing wheel bearings and the lights would go out and they'd blame you for it.

When turning it in you had to sweep out the cargo bay so it was so clean you could do a heart transplant in the middle of a warzone. Eh, still the same.

A few weeks ago I had to rent one of their pickups. Long story, had to grab something and well during a holiday weekend and freezing rain magically I had no friends to borrow a pickup from.

So they gave me the fuel reading, 1/4 gauge on the print out. They spend 15 minutes clearing ice and snow off the drat thing. Yeah, fuel pump will last a long time running on 3/16 of ethanol laden fuel in the tank. When done I pump 2 bucks into the thing before I returned it. Gauge sat where I found it which was under 1/4 a tank. The guy was satisfied after some small talk. In retrospect I should have raised hell before I drove it off the lot.

gently caress Uhaul.

Colostomy Bag
Jan 11, 2016

C-Bangin' it



HandlingByJebus posted:

gently caress yeah.

When I moved out of my parents' house, UHaul rented me a late-70s gasoline-engined 24' GMC with a manual transmission. This was in the mid 90s. It was basically falling apart. I'd had my license for less than a year.

I picked my girlfriend up from school in it. Stopped on a huge hill in front of the school. Parked facing uphill, of course.

Empty truck stalled twice, then did a loving great burnout. Nobody was more surprised than I was.

Heh, yeah back then screw haul had the manual trannies. Probably 1st was a granny gear.

I can't imagine the carnage on the roads if manuals were still offered at rental places.

Colostomy Bag
Jan 11, 2016

C-Bangin' it



EightBit posted:

This probably wouldn't have happened if the trailered car were just a few feet more forward, but that might exceed the tongue rating.

Obviously the talented staff at U-Haul would have instructed the owner on proper trailer techniques.

Colostomy Bag
Jan 11, 2016

C-Bangin' it



Cojawfee posted:

Every UHaul trailer I've seen has big labels saying to put more weight to the front.

If my wife had those labels I'd suffocate.

Colostomy Bag
Jan 11, 2016

C-Bangin' it



rdb posted:

Dorman should make a kit with a cap and some self taping screws like they did for the Chrysler minivans.

Lol, what is that Dorman story? Not a Chrysler guy.

Will have to admit and have to give them credit...they spot the flaws and create a product to solve the poo poo. Amazed they didn't come up with a Northstar headbolt fix for $45.99.

Colostomy Bag
Jan 11, 2016

C-Bangin' it



gently caress lug nuts/studs.

gently caress galvanic corrosion.

gently caress rust.

Colostomy Bag
Jan 11, 2016

C-Bangin' it



Metal Geir Skogul posted:

There's also an India smell. Getting parts over 5 years for my Enfield from eBay, they come from India sewn into linen around the boxes, and they literally smell like grass and cow poo poo. No lie, no racism.

Imagine if Harbor Freight would source 50% of their tools from China and 50% from India. That would be one weird loving aroma when walking into their stores from what you described.

Colostomy Bag
Jan 11, 2016

C-Bangin' it



Across four:

19.7 L
1210 HP
34 cylinders

Average city MPG: around 13. Not going to win any green awards for this fleet.

Colostomy Bag
Jan 11, 2016

C-Bangin' it



Beach Bum posted:

See and people wonder why I'm paranoid. Bunch of (non-AI-type) folks gave me crap about ordering a wheel/tire set from Tire Rack and doing installation myself like "you know tire shops exist for a reason right?"

How much poo poo did you unleash on that shop, by the way? Did they at least refund your service/labor?

Always wondered about these types of mishaps. Hard to prove one way or the other. Also need to ask, when the aluminum wheel welds to the rotor, what does a tire shop do? In my case I back off the lugs about a fraction of a turn, drive it down the block and I usually hear a bang when it breaks free. Obviously a rust belt situation.

Colostomy Bag
Jan 11, 2016

C-Bangin' it



Speaking of spare tires and Rube Goldberg type poo poo with pickup trucks, got a 98 Expedition.

A few months ago I got a burr up my rear end to actually look on how to change it. Ugh, may need a key through the rear bumper (I don't have the key nor know if I need one) but have the handle under the hood. No problem, you can break off the plastic tamper thing somehow. Then I read that probably the hole to release the winch mechanism will be lodged up with dirt and other debris. Then, once you get past that...whatever you do, do not raise it back up again because you will damage the mechanism without a load on the cable.

And of course, those spare tire wenches don't come cheap.

Thanks Ford.

Colostomy Bag
Jan 11, 2016

C-Bangin' it



DirtRoadJunglist posted:

Co-worker just pinged me: "My stepson is changing his oil for the first time. I heard a thud from inside. I found this on both Ramps and him under the car." If I recall correctly, said stepson got his license as recently as this month, and may have already totaled another car.



EDIT:
Co-worker: "Should I buy life insurance on him now?"
Me: "Yes, absolutely."

Plastic style Rhino ramps I feel much safer under than then the stamped steel poo poo in the old days. Granted the picture looks like it is on relative smooth pavement but might have been abused earlier.

And when I say abused, the worse thing you can do is place them over an uneven surface (such as a gap in the driveway with a 1/2" drop or so.) Hell the newer ones almost look like they want to fail given how they are designed with a breaking point in the middle.

Colostomy Bag
Jan 11, 2016

C-Bangin' it



xzzy posted:

He just forgot to short the terminals to melt the solder into place.

A true Saab owner. Expecting the car to create a short somewhere to solder the joint.

Colostomy Bag
Jan 11, 2016

C-Bangin' it



A few moons ago going along 70 mph on an interstate and a SUV coming at the opposite direction lost its tire. Thing flew across the 20 ft wide median and over my vehicle. One of those "Final Destination" moments where you think if I left the house a few seconds sooner I'd be toast.

Can't imagine how much energy was stored in those wheels as they let loose. Actually trying to figure out the rod coming out of it. Is that some sort of panhard bar for trailers?

Colostomy Bag
Jan 11, 2016

C-Bangin' it



You are probably correct, ripped right out of the tube. Cripes.

Colostomy Bag
Jan 11, 2016

C-Bangin' it



Insurance sucks. They are all bad for different reasons.

Been with State Farm since the dawn of my existence. Got a burr up my rear end and decided to get an Allstate quote (house, several cars) and they were cheaper. But the problem was the Allstate agent that I'd get stuck with was a complete idiot that I've known from a previous professional encounter. So still with State Farm.

Colostomy Bag
Jan 11, 2016

C-Bangin' it



He could get on his smart phone and have an adjuster immediately with an app. Or so I heard.

Colostomy Bag
Jan 11, 2016

C-Bangin' it



metaxus posted:

I googled this.

No idea how someone came up with using bread as a malleable hydraulic medium, but poo poo, it works...

Yeah, not up on pilot bearing removal but white bread is a godsend for DIY plumbing jobs where water is in the line. Shove bread into the tubing to temporarily block flow of stagnate water then solder. Bread dissolves.

Colostomy Bag
Jan 11, 2016

C-Bangin' it



Cojawfee posted:

If you sit on a chair that can spin and you hold a spinning bicycle wheel, you can tilt the wheel to turn the chair.

I tried this with a high-powered leaf blower and didn't go as planned.

Colostomy Bag
Jan 11, 2016

C-Bangin' it



Darchangel posted:

You didn't plan on spinning around at high speed about once then flipping over?

Not really. I was spinning a bicycle wheel during this escapade.

Colostomy Bag
Jan 11, 2016

C-Bangin' it



TotalLossBrain posted:



The Shuttle is worse than anything else at atmospheric flying.

Including the F-105?

Colostomy Bag
Jan 11, 2016

C-Bangin' it



babyeatingpsychopath posted:

It's even worse than the F-104, which is just an engine with small control fins attached. That thing has a glide ratio of ~5 clean, and ~3 with the gear and flaps down. It used engine bleed air in normal landings to make its glide ratio much better (blown flaps).

If only Ford placed ceramic tiles on the Pinto.

Colostomy Bag
Jan 11, 2016

C-Bangin' it



babyeatingpsychopath posted:

It's even worse than the F-104, which is just an engine with small control fins attached. That thing has a glide ratio of ~5 clean, and ~3 with the gear and flaps down. It used engine bleed air in normal landings to make its glide ratio much better (blown flaps).

Shuttle is basically mathematical model. The 104 and the 105 were throwing darts at the wall (And and the lawn.) So was the B-58.

Colostomy Bag
Jan 11, 2016

C-Bangin' it



Phanatic posted:

That's not the case at all. A big airliner like a 747 has a glide ratio of something like 16 or 17 to 1. Which isn't surprising, because it's directly related to fuel efficiency and airlines are kind of concerned with that. About the only things in the sky that glide better than commercial airliners are sailplanes and the birds that have evolved for gliding over millions of years.

You'd be correct if you were talking about fighter planes.

Doing some casual googling and can't find it...what was the F-105 since it was basically a lawn dart.

Colostomy Bag
Jan 11, 2016

C-Bangin' it



Cojawfee posted:

Just add 20 dollars to the base price of the car.

Problem is 99.9% of the population wouldn't know what a driveshaft loop is so it adds very little marginal value. Spending $20 on a heated cup holder would appeal to a lot more people.

It's like automatic transmissions. If they would toss $50 worth of better parts they would last twice as long. But why bother from their perspective.

Colostomy Bag
Jan 11, 2016

C-Bangin' it



Shifty Pony posted:

Since we're on the subject of lug nut indicators it seems like a good time to share a little factoid I found out not too long ago: the nicer ones are made with materials chosen to melt at particular temperatures, so you can spot rubbing brakes or overheating wheel bearings.

Probably something everyone already knew but I felt it was a neat little bit of smart design on such a mundane thing.

I actually had no drat clue. When I pull up next to a bus I spot them and am glad to see they are uniform. Thanks for sharing.

Colostomy Bag
Jan 11, 2016

C-Bangin' it



Crotch Fruit posted:

Trigger warning that, as a former 4th gen Firebird owner that brought back memories of it's terrible gas gauge, a fault caused by the tank having a sloped bottom.

Anymore now I only put in $10 a week into my Impala and that gets the needle back to 3/8 to a 1/2 just depending on how low it was when I filled up and the current price of gas. I think I spend most of my time with the needle on the 1/8 tank line but it still scares me, I just can never fully trust a fuel gauge again after the Firebird experience.

Lol, for lovely fuel level senders look no further than GM. My god you turn a corner and it would go from full zero to full.

Colostomy Bag
Jan 11, 2016

C-Bangin' it



SlapActionJackson posted:

OTOH, I have an expedition that turns on the low fuel light with 5 gallons left in the tank.

As a fellow expedition owner, that is a good thing because you really do need to get gas at that point.

The only time I was really really stressed for gas was in my Expedition. I'm the type that knows "yeah, I got so much right now in the tank, gas station nearby, etc." no big deal. Drives my wife nuts because she has the opposite mentality.

Anyways, road trip, unfamiliar territory, construction, just standing still in traffic with no shoulder or wherever to pullover in a 5 mile traffic jam in case I ran out of gas while the needle is pointing at E was not fun.

Colostomy Bag
Jan 11, 2016

C-Bangin' it



Nocheez posted:

The worst were the Blazers in the 90s that had the anti-slosh module that always either hosed up or came slightly unplugged. I fixed so many of those in a year of working on car electronics. We used to stock both those and ignitions because GM is a terrible, terrible company.

Never dealt with Blazers. Had a Park Avenue that would basically do what I described. Yanked out the sender (along with fuel pump, nice you didn't need to drop the tank) and I'm looking at this abomination with how the resistor arm is worn away and I remember it is GM.

Colostomy Bag
Jan 11, 2016

C-Bangin' it



Root Bear posted:

Had a late 90's Ford Expedition towed in with only the ability to move in reverse, and even that was a dangerous thing to do. Why you ask? Well...


Driver side rear lower control arm:


Passenger side rear lower control arm:



Aside from the obvious rust and corrosion, the one bitch about having to change these lower arms is that the bracket holding the front bolt on the driver's side arm is located directly next to the fuel tank, and the bolt head is always oriented on the tank side from the factory. Which means you have to either loosen and shift the fuel tank away from the frame rail enough for the bolt to clear, or bend and contort the brackets just enough to finagle the bolt past the tank.
It's a little hard to see on the pic I posted above, but that should hopefully give some idea of what I'm referring to.

I have no idea how they didn't destroy something in the drive-train when the diff rolled and pitched upwards until the u-joint jammed. Aside from some gouging and scuffing on the yoke and joint, the shaft still spins straight and amazingly had no vibrations on the test drive afterwards.


Oh, it also had this lovely exhaust setup:



Well, this happened to me. (Not the one pictured, and is somewhat of a common problem in the rust belt)

Always thought you just saw off the bolts with the fuel tank.

As for what happened on mine, it is a good story. Started out snapping the pinion yoke a mile from my house after a 2,000 mile road trip.

Colostomy Bag
Jan 11, 2016

C-Bangin' it



Was Sheriff Buford T Justice and his son in it?

Colostomy Bag
Jan 11, 2016

C-Bangin' it



Colostomy Bag posted:

Was Sheriff Buford T Justice and his son in it?

"Daddy, the cab came off."

edit how the hell did I quote myself. Long day I guess.

Colostomy Bag
Jan 11, 2016

C-Bangin' it



Cool thing is if it were a Ford 6.0/6.4/etc. you could replace an air filter.

Colostomy Bag
Jan 11, 2016

C-Bangin' it



Garage2Roadtrip posted:

And the FICM, EGR cooler, head gaskets and studs, injectors, etc...cause good knows by the time you need an air filter that stuff is on it's way out.

What year did Ford finally realize that cab off procedures were necessary and made things easier?

Colostomy Bag
Jan 11, 2016

C-Bangin' it



tactlessbastard posted:

Headline:
EXPLODING ENGINE THROWS AIRPLANE INTO A TAIL SPIN

Story:

Airplane shudders after substantial damage to half its engines and makes it down safe and otherwise completely sound.


Fire headline writers into the sun.

Yeah. Airline crashes are a morbid curiosity of mine. Most them today have such a chain of failure to cause it I find them fascinating.

Then of course you get the pilot that really fucks up.

Colostomy Bag
Jan 11, 2016

C-Bangin' it



While I've forgotten the flare nut once as everyone else, I enjoy flaring, then bending the line...then realizing the flare nut dropped way down and can't make the bend.

Colostomy Bag
Jan 11, 2016

C-Bangin' it



kastein posted:

Every trailer I've ever towed has sounded like I was dragging a pile of metal stock down the road with no wheels on it, so I've gotten used to ignoring basically any sound they make. Uhaul trailers and the tow dolly I have are LOUD. I doubt I'd even notice the additional clanking and banging if I lost the rubber off one or two tires on a uhaul utility trailer.

Quieter trailers might be a bit different.

Hell, with Uhaul you might be dragging a corpse stowed underneath. They might charge extra for the cleanup fee.

Colostomy Bag
Jan 11, 2016

C-Bangin' it



Rubiks Pubes posted:

What's the point of doing that?

So he can drift it.

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Colostomy Bag
Jan 11, 2016

C-Bangin' it



Puddin posted:

I drive a white van for living. Can confirm, I try to break the sound barrier between every delivery.

How's the speaker business?

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