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I'm 30 and have been smoking for roughly 13 years. I come from a family of smokers, and for the first 2 years I smoked every time I had one I got a little... high? It was nice anyway. I've tried quitting a few times. It is time to quit again though, and I hope to whoever I can make it stick. 1st time, I was 21. No real reason, just thought I should. Lasted a month. Not sure why I started again, but that was about the time I discovered that I really do love whiskey. Possible connection there. 2nd time, I was 23 and had gotten my first job as a stage manager for a small local theater company completely staffed by mentally inept narcissists. I did not have time to smoke, found myself smoking less and less, then found I felt ill when I did smoke, so I stopped. Lasted about 4 months, which was the exact length of the run of the show. We ended our working relationship with a huge party and a lot of booze. Probable connection there. 3rd time, I was 25 and could not pay my rent. Unfortunately, because I resented the circumstances surrounding my quitting the moment I was back in the green financially, about 2 months later, I ran out and bought a pack. 4th time, I was 26 and was trying to change all of my poor habits. However, at some point I started eating more, gained a ton of weight, and blamed the not smoking. Poor scapegoat  . 3 months.5th time, 28, went on Chantix. Experienced side effects, hard. Nearly killed my assistant at work (she did have it coming, in sane, contemplative retrospect), ended up crying uncontrollably instead and losing my job. Also was having terrible stomach pains. The next day the headlines read that the market was crashing and the economy was doomed. 1 month. Now, as I mentioned, I am 30. I've been kicking the idea around of quitting again for awhile. Other contributing factors to my decision, in chronological order, are: 1)I'm broke. 2)I'm uh, sort of falling for a non-smoker. >.> (Lies, I've totally fallen) 3)I have gone back on the birth control pill and this is a dangerous no-no. 4)On Sunday night my mother had a heart attack. Not only is this a HUGE smack in the face from the reality of what happens to a life long smoker, she will need to quit and I want to, maybe, try to show her that it's possible. 5)I have only cut down since Sunday and I can already feel the difference. And smell it. Amagad. Anyway, maybe I can look back at my long winded post in a few months and smile that I was successful. If this is the case, "Hey! Future Brekke! Good job  ". If not, then, "Hey, future Brekke! $7.00*45packs= $315 dollars. That's a few pedicures right there you could have had >: ("
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Nov 18, 2010 20:14
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| # ¿ Apr 27, 2024 01:06 |
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