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 Click here for MP3 Oe!  and anyway but yeah! it's DECEMBARE the First, and you know what that means m8s and ladym8s! Yes! It's the name of one of the months! And as well, this time it's the month that has CHRISTMAS in it! Christmas! Oh, Christmas! Oh! It is the day of joyo and happie, when we gather round and sellybr8 with our smellym8s hehe (not you, you're dudes.) Woo Yes I can't believe it already! Christmas time! Woooo! Woooooooooo!! Ducktales woo! (that's more than woo) I mean it's not actually Xmas yet tho m8oes, but it is Decembre, and that's when we start to really Christmas up the place isn't it! I mean look at this!  I'm at the shops and it's like the first most big bit of Xmas Ch33r is happening right now here, as the first children of the day goe into the snata grottoe that they've got set up here. I mean I knoe it's not Snatre himself in there. It is a man in clothes, but that is better than nothing. HEHEHE LITRELLY HEHE But! hehe. YEs! They knoe that it is the December 1st, and even tho the grotto has been in the shops for a bit now, they are more excited about it today because of Demembre. This is the 1st real day of christmassyness I reckon don't u? And HOW do they noe it's decembre the first? Well! Because they have all woken up in the crispy daylight this morning (which childers still do to 1) go to school or 2) play, not like half of you lazy lumps) and they have first of all OPENED THEIR ADVENT CALENDERS!! Yes of course! They have popped open the very first dore of their calendar, which is satisfying, even if sometimes it's tricky and you have to get your fingernail in there and sometimes you can't so you push from behind and that scrunches up the plastic that holds the chockoes in place and maybe you will brake a bit of chockoe off and o no Or if you are a classy person you have one with not-chocolates in, which despite being not as good at being chocolates as chocolates are, they are more classy. I BET loads of you have been der-brains and forgotten to get yourself a calendar tho haven't you, and you won't be able to open the little dores every day. yeh? some of you probbly didn't even knoe it was going to be december today! WELL NEVER FEAR!  I'm on a mission to get you a calender! I haven't got one yet, but we've always had so much nice fun when I get one for everyone to play on, that I resolve to get one this year again too!No luck yet m8s, I've been scouting about but some of them ones here in the shopes are really dire. don't get me wrong, I like telly programmes like everyone, but for an advent calendar you want something christmassy don't you with fireplaces and that. So now that the old shop where I used to get them has vanished off, I don't know where to goe but we always think of something don't we m80s! Don't we! Come on everyone, let's go and look together for an advent calendar! Hooray!CHRISTMAS! Christmas cards, prints & comics available here     This year's calendar is mod-approved. Thanks Abey Sinclair! Buml0r fucked around with this message at 10:00 on Dec 12, 2009 |
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Dec 1, 2009 09:56
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Nice to see everyone is getting festived! We can all sing merry carols as we look for calender shop. O! O wait look, who is this coming over to us! it is an man, who is sort of a bit like a child, only, sort of, more like an old man looked at through some supernatural medium (like boo!-ray, what ghosts watch films on, muhuh) that makes it like he's over there and squashed. He's really weird, I don't like looking at him. We know him though! He's the Spirit of Christmas Past! He works in the Accounts Office doesn't he, remember? Where he keeps Accounts of past events. Maybe he doesn't, maybe that was to do with ghosts and stuff. I mean I thought Bob Marley worked on the information desk too, that's pretty unlikely. Helloed, Spirit of Christmas Past! "Greetings, boy! Season's greetings!" he say. Him uncharacteristically jolly this year! Yu'r uncharacteristically jolly this year ghost of past! "Not the Ghost any more, my boy! The Spirit only! For thanks to you, my brothers and I are no longer doomed to the fractured existence we once knew!" Hehe u were all grumping last year, going grump grump grump! "Well I might, for I faced my doom! But it is your unbreakable good cheer and - please pardon the term - spirit, which, by its very existence, allows us to endure!" What's that you're on about there m80? "Oh, it isn't for the young to bear the burdens of the elderly. Come with me! We don't want to run out of time!" Eh? Go with you? Why, what's this in aid of? "Your welfare! I'm going to personally escort you to your Advent Calendar this year, and ensure you avoid any danger!" Yes! Hooray! Brills! Come on m8s and m8resses, we're off to see Snatter and all the elfes again in north pole! Hoorayy Christmas!  MP3 link added to the OP for m80s only Buml0r fucked around with this message at 11:25 on Dec 1, 2009 |
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Dec 1, 2009 11:15
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Yeah, where's all that sticky come from! Have one of you been eating chocolates and licking your fingers? That is NAUGHTY before we open calender and have breakfast, and you KNOE IT. Spirit of Past is a very cheerful fello now, I much like him more. He's taken us to a dore round the back of the xmas grotto they've got here, but I don't think it's a dore the shops people know about. It's just like a big flap has been cut out of the whole world, it doesn't go around the lumpy bits of the grottoe it's just a big square, and it even pokes out of the side and is a square cut in the air as well! Just a big square! And it got a 1 on it. I'm gonna open it here we go! PEEEEL open! it's a big hefty, come on everyone PEEL peeeeeel... Ooooo! Light is going BOOO out of it and sure enough, there's a big chocolate in here! It's in the shape of a great big twinkly snowflake, and I think it's twinkly because there's those little bits of yellowey pebbly stuff in, that you eat and it goes "chhhhh" in your mouth, and some pop and jump about, so you make a little cave with your hands over your mouth and make the noise do things! I love that stuff! But because of how m80 you've all been on other christmasses, I'm going to give you most of it! I'll just have a little nibble of this bit here. nib there we go i nibbled it! NOw you can all divide it up between you. Biggest bit of chocolate to the person who made us all sticky, because I like stickiness really it's an important part of advent calendar chocolate! mmm, it's nice this and I can feel the popping. I'm having a big nibble! ib nib nib! Ok! Christmas Past bloke is ushering us! Look at that thing he's doing with his hands that is called ushering, it's like he's trying to push air onto our bottommes Shall we goe in?
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Dec 1, 2009 18:06
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IN WE GOE THEN M80S! I will take first step inside! Wuuuueeee it's swirly! Come on everyone it's gr8 in here, swirly! Come on! Weeeee we're going through the swirles! Oe here we are! It looks like some sort of wodden hut out in the snow, surrounded by Christmas tree forest! Is it ok if we go round and have a look at front of the hut, Xmas Past? ok good, ta come on m80s  Oe woww! Look! It is Snatter's little hut! We are in the far distant past, because there is Snatter as a young man - probbly just a year older than when we last saw him. He is a woodcutter now, and he's got a proper hut set up somewhere near the big Elfs' Grotto place! I can see he has upgraded it to Middle hut. Not quite a big hut yet but enough for Snatter until someone else moves in with him or something. There's a nice box in the attic of baubbles and tinsle look that he has to take off the trees he cuts down, so he can send them to the places that need wood, like the Suchak Safety company just up the road. Looks like he's just done a delivering of wood's And he's standing there talking to one of his besty elf friends, Duddles! Duddles is an inventing elf, and it looks like today he is showing snatter an new invention he's made! "It's a little something I've been working on. It's a little box that you keep in your sleigh, and it tells you where to drive to get to things! It helps you to navigate, see? It's called "Snat-nav!""  Oh cool look! I want a go on that! Bope beep beep bep bop! Snatter looks happy with that! He's inviting Duddles in to meet the Christmas Ninjas. Those are some Ninjas who Snatter met last year, and Snatter has been givng them presents! Ever since he got his special clothes and present-giving powers last year, he's been giving people presents all over the place! It's got to the point now where apparently he can pull prezzies out of his coat, or a bag, or a box, or any thing or place, at will! He doesn't really need his magic bag but it's comfy. But yeah! Looks like Snatter is happy being a woodcutter now! Him and Duddles just went inside, but they were talking about a new tower or something? Seems like Snatter's been using his woodcutting skills to help build a nice big new tower in the middle of the Grottoe, because last year's main middle bit got blown up quite badly, when the Antisnatter tried to destroy Christmas again. He got really blown up at the same time thoe, so I shouldn't think we'll see him again this year. Not with the Sprit of Christmas Past looking after us anyway!  I don't really want to barge into Snatter's house, that wouldn't be very polite, so instead to be polite I'm having a little listen on the door to his private conversation, mohh. ok... ok... ok that enough. They're just being boring anyway. They're all talking about how everything gets really Christmassy around this time of year, but that they don't actually know what that means yet. They've been doing Christmassy things for ages, but they never really sorted out what actual Christmas is, they just sort of get a bit ready for it and dress up like it, but it isn't really anything yet other than that. Christmas ninjers agree and would like to help, but they're mainly for fighting enemies and there aren't any now the Antisnatter's gone bume. Well, it all seems to be going very well so far! Fizzy chocolate, snowy places, everything's gr8 this year! Yay! Ok, well, Past says it's time we made our way towards 2-dore, so off we go! Everything's going very well! nothing at all going wrong this year! nothing going wrong at this point this year. horay! Ducktales woo!
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Dec 1, 2009 19:49
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Hello! Well the Spirit of Past asked me where I wanted to go today, because apparently there's something to do with the dores being wherever we want. Or something. What is it, Past? Oe, the dores travel with us or something apparently. It's not that we actually need to find a calendar, it's that we just need to find dores to move time on, and because of the spirit of xmas we will always find them where we want to goe! That's nice isn't it! So I decided I wanted to goe back to ELF SCHOOL! Remember elf school? It' inside the big workshop grottoe building now, but that is the school where Snatter grew up, and he met all his friends Duddles and Dooley, and the head, and Mr Blessed the beard teacher! And Dooper, and so many teachers! I don't think we've met all the teachers yet, so I asked if we could meet another one and he said yep! So here is a new Teacher, he im the HISTORY teacher, called Mr O'Brien.  He specialises in some things, such as Aztec History (ppl with masks on ages ago), Medieval History (castles and wizards etc, that's a good one), the Industrial Revolution (hasn't happened yet, he's clever), Ocean (don't knoe why that's history) and FUTARISTIC! Yes, he even knows Future! What will Snatter be like in the future mr o'brien? HEHE YES I THINK SO TOO, he says he'll be gr8 and he'll fly around in space ship instead of slé, and there will be ROBOTS in the future and SPACE. But not bad robots like mecha snatter, good oens, like in the FUTEUR! And flashing lights, and flying cars and loads of sweets for everyone! Yessss that sounds brilliant. Thanks mr o'brien, you are a gr8m8 teacher, even if most of your students are a bit insufferable and dress like mecha snatter's mum. "Arrr!"  Oe, who im this? Here comes a grizzledy old sailor! Him beard is rough and burly. He's clutching a bottle of grog, like in that poem that goe 15 men on a dead man's chest, mohh omlo and a bottle of rum. he is obviously a pirate! Mr O'Brien goe "I'll deal with this darling, I know all about Ocean." Good idea! "Hellooo! Mr O'Brien here, your elegant escort in this festive fortress we call Elf School. Welcome to the lobby - do you have your travelling bags or will it be a far briefer stay? Time, and the perplexing puzzles of the Pole, will tell! Oh, excuse me - yes... yes mumsy I... yes, I have! I have got clean underwear on yes... all right... yes..." He im talking on a phone but I don't really noe if there's anyone there, it didn't ring! He's back to talking to the sailor now. "She worries! Now! You are...?" "Salteye!" the grizzledy man growl. "Salteye the Pirate!" "And your age?" "A matter of private record," he snarl. "Salteye, middle-aged, from the Sea, and he's a Pirate. And, he's a pirate captain!" "That's right, Captain of the Gloomy Gulch, Oi am. Oi've been sailin' the seas these past decades..." "The seven seas?" say Mr O'Brien, with his Ocean knowledge "Well you've got yer basic seven seas, then there's the Sea of Troubles, that's a particularly tricky one ter sail through, there's the Sea of Holes, that used to be really interesting but I wouldn't bother now, they've started cementing it over with new-fangledness. There be a few but yeah! The seven seas mainly. And Oi've been a-sailin' 'em a-lookin' fer me son, see! Arrr. Oi left a baby behind, still fermentin' in its muther - took off, you moight say, an' quickly Oi decoided Oi were wrong, but couldn't foind the tyke! So say local tongues, a typhoon came along and took him and his muther away - did for her, but some say the baby survoived, but flew off to lands afarrrr. So that's me mission, arrr. Arrr you familiar with the sea shanty?" "As a genre? Yes," say Mr O'Brien. Salteye look at him puzzledly. "Oi said are you familiar with the sea shanty?" "And I said yes!" Puzzled again. "Oh - arrr." "Roight, good, well that's what we used to do to pass the time while we went over the various seas, see. Here have a listen, Oi've got a recarrrrding of me and me crew singing a swarthy shanty, arrr." Arrr! Click here for a swarthy shanty m80s, arr. "So anyway, Oi reckon Oi've searched everywhere an' every-place by now and so me hopes are dashed. DASHED! So Oi came here, to the last speck of civiloisation on the globe, oither to foind me boy, or to rest me feet fer good." "Right! Then if you'll follow me," say Mr O'Brien, "I'll take you to the guests' quarters - but you'll have to gain entry first!" Woo he's off! Salteye having trouble keeping up with him as he run through corridors to some bedrume doors. "It's a minute and a half game, if you can't unpack your belongings in that time then it's an automatic lock-in I'm afraid, all right and you time starts... now!" Bewildered Salteye pirate has been bustled into his rume, which is rume number TWO! And just before Mr O'Brien closed the dore I managed to get this out of it - a chocolate! Chocolate is in the shape of a harmonica for doing bluse with. I am going to do a bluse on it here we go a-bluseadee-bluse woke up this morning a blusadee bluse can't really remember what I did ablusadee bluse but then I ended up at shop grotto ablusadee bluse and that was nice ablusadeebluse bloke came along and said he'd take me abluseeblusebluse to the long forgotten past ablusadeebluse and so yeah now here i am and it's good and it's nice and I like it here! ba ba ba ba ba LOOOVELY TIIIME, I'm having a nice time in the xmas laaaaand nah, it doesn't really work happy, so someone can eat that now, i'm sick of that. Oe, and look who's coming in all waving his arms about, it's Dooley! And behind him is the Head!  That elf is called Dooley, he's one of Snatter's friends, and he's good at: Astronomy and Fusspottery. hehe i mean he helps and keeps his things tidy, i don't mean he makes spinny pots on a spinny but he's really ocd about it, hhe. And that big head behind him is the Head of Elf School, and it is the head of the actor Richard Burton. I wonder what they want? Dooley looks a bit bothered. Richard Burton looks about normal but he's rarely phased. "I think we need to keep an eye on the weather," Dooley say. "Something's going on and it's strange and interesting! Interesting and strange!" "What happened, you've come over all of a flitter, old thing," say Mr O'Brien. "Well, I was looking through my telescope you see," Dooley say, but he is taking a while and so Mr Burton's head buts in. hehe. head buts. "A few moments ago, a huge mass of luminous snow erupted from the sky and sped towards Earth," he say in his loudy voice. "Across miles of void, delicately hurtling toward us, came the first of the snowflakes that are to bring so much coldiness to Earth. As I watched, there was another flake of snow: it was another snowflake, starting on its way." "You mean it's snowing?" say Mr O'Brien. "Yes but," say Dooley, "it's really snowing, there's a big amount of snow coming down." "And that's how it was for the next ten minutes," Burton say. "The snow spurting out from the sky. Bright white, drawing a chilly frost behind it. A beautiful, but somehow... disturbing sight." Richard Burton likes to make things sound dramatic. "Dooley, the astronomer, assured me we are in no danger," Burton say, satisfied. "He was convinced there could be no scary snow in that dense, forbidding flurry." "Well, er, no," say Dooley, "but still, it represents an unusual weather pattern, is what I'm saying. We ought to keep an eye on things for the next few days and just see what develops. We might have a storm on our hands." "Oh dear, better avoid that then," say Mr O'Brien, and everybody just GOES. Buml0r fucked around with this message at 11:41 on Dec 2, 2009 |
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Dec 2, 2009 11:20
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golden_appel posted:That big snoestorm sound a bit ominous. om-nominous 
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Dec 2, 2009 15:12
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Helloe, I'm outside today looking for an outside dore, because I wanted to see if it was snowing as much as Dooley reckoned yesterday. I suppose it sort-of is, ish, but it's basically just what you'd expect in the North Pole. Even still tho, everyone's outside at the minute, because Dooley said there was honestly just a big amount of snow at one point, it was like a huge snowball of just SNOW coming down like that, just, *SNOW* Yeah so Dooley is here, and Snatter has come out of his hut, and Duddles, and - oe, who this?  Man here who nobody seems to know. Hello man? "Ostronomy Oodah!" That weird, who are you? "Mine are also satchel-rans!" Hehe, that doesn't make sense! Ok well apparently he is called Stephen Currant-Bun. Double-barrel name, very posh, maybe he's a SPY! I don't think he's an evil one thogh, he seems friendly enough. O! Wait! No, I see what Dooley's talking about now! He's pointing up and yeah, there's just a big CHUNK of snow coming down! It actually is like a big huge snowball falling to earth like a meaty or, *Fump* It hit the ground. Everyone's straining to see, but it's all basically snow out here so it's tricky to tell what bit of snow was it! "I've never seen anything like it in all my years watching the weather," say Dooley. "The size of the thing," say Duddles. "The sheer bulk of it," say Gooba, who is another elf we don't really know. "On-stronomyOodah!" say Stephen, which is wearing a bit thin even if he did say it slightly differently this time. But then he say, "Perhaps it's a bit of ice from space that picked up snow instead of just being destroyed as it went through the atmosphere, what with this being the North Pole and being a bit magic. The atmosphere thing might not be the same here?" "That is a good point," say Dooley, "indeed, the systems that govern our world do fluctuate around these parts." Then from off in the distance a voice call, "Stephen!" "Just coming!" shout Stephen - "sorry chaps but I'd best be off. Good luck with the snow and all that, ciao!" Off he run! And Oh! as soon as he went away, there was a pause, and look who arrived!  Wow! It's a NEW CHRISTMAS NINJA! This Christmas Ninja is the best one ever, because he's got WHITE and GOLD, which are two very festive colours indeed! What person could possibly be the white ninjer, I cannot imagine who it could be! The possibilities are endless! Everyone is here, so it can't be anyone we noe! Wow!! "Gasp!" go the elfies, "Wow!" go the men, "Miaow" go the little chick, running in the pen! "Hello!" go the White Ninja whose identity is a mystery. Gosh, LOOK at him! I'm pretty star-struck here, this new Ranger is really sparkledy! "Hullo," go everyone, rapt. Oo! I think he looked at me! I think he looked right at me ooo! I will tell everyone this is so exciting! He reach out and shake Snatter's hand. "My greetings to the Chosen One, the Snatter." "How do you know me?" Snatter gasp. (Snatter found out last year remember that he definitely is the chosen one and will be Snatter one day, because only Chosen One can wear the magic hat & clothes, etc (I call him snatter now because i knoe who he is but him name just Chris Nicholas Kringle) hello there!) "Thy light shineth beyond the mountains of the North," explain White Ninjer, "and eyes unknown to thee gaze upon it. Thine is a legacy which the people of my country were joyous to proclaim in distant ages past, and spake unto your prophet Burgess Meredith, saying, seek thee out the One chosen by fate to weild the sack and rein of Christmas, and deliver its force unto the children of all the lands." "Hang about," go Snatter, "you're from the people who gave Burgess* the prophecy?" *Burgess is the wisest old elf who is the big main elf. "The same. A Kingdom beyond the reckoning of man or elf, where the snows and the force of Christmas is greater than anything you know, the northernmost North Pole." "Well, just a moment," Dooley protests, "I've done my research. Our workshop - particularly its central tower, which we just recently rebuilt with Kringle's help, is situated at precisely the most north bit of everywhere! Whichever direction you face up there, it's South! This, you'll find, is the most North Poley bit of the North Pole!" "Nay," say White Ninja, "for all that thy wooden city would appear to be the Northiest Poliest, it is in reality our land, lying on a grander plane of existence, which is truley the most North Poley." "Well I must say," say Dooley here we go "I don't think much of his North-Polier-than-thou attitude!" Suddenly White Ninjer proclaim to everyone! "Vendequm, hear this: Make ready, for Christmas cometh! The force spreads outward from my world, and will soon be upon you! Decorate, feast, and celebrate, for the power of Christmas approaches!" Oh he's so amazing. Hehe I think Rose thinks he's quite amazing as well, hehe  hehe Snatter doesn't look so convinced, can't really blame him hee. He doesn't stand a chance, White Ninjer is gr8 "And now I take my leave, but should you need me, look to the North!!!!" and the White Ninja stride away like a wonderful blokey. "Well that's all fine and dandy," say Duddles, "dandy and fine, but how do we actually prepare for Christmas? We never prepare for Christmas, we just sort-of are Christmas. We were just talking round Chris' about that. We were trying to decide what Christmas should actually be, so we can actually have it." Oe wait! White Ninjer is... striding towards... us!!!! :O :O We're far away from the other ppl thoe, I was watching all this from Afar, so I don't knoe what he wants! "I am so glad of thy presence here," sae White Ninjer TO ME omg omg h-h-hullo white ninja! "Hulloe. Thou art a guest of great honour at this place and in this world!" he say grandly omg! "Walk with me, that we might share and discuss the great secrets of Christmas together. I feel we could enlighten one another." OEM80S WHITE NINJER WANTS TO TELL ME CHRISTMAS SECRETS! "In particular, there is one great secret which I would love to impart. Yea, for it is the greatest Christmas secret of them all. Will you walk with me?" Ye! I think we should! Come on m80s! "Nay, this secret is for thine ear. You may share the secret, but only once you have come to fully understand it. Only then will you, and you alone, be able to find the words to pass on this wondrous truth in a manner your friends will understand." er... ok, i think that's a bit overboard m80 but yeah ok! OK! ok m80s, you stay here a minute. don't listen to him, i'm just going to tell you what the big secret is straight away. just a mo. OH! Hang on a minute white ninjer! We need to open dore 3! Look it's just here in the snowe, on the flore. Come on let's peel it open. peeeel  Chocolate! tricky to see though because it's a bit of milkybar sort of chocko today, as Chocolate is in the shape of White Ninja, with big beams of light coming out of him because him brilliant! If him have a beard under his helmet, it gleaming and celestial! ok tuck in lads & ladylads, i'm off to find out a BIG SPECIAL SECRET and i'll tell you it straight away! (whcih will probbly be tomorrow dore, because time seems to be divided up into dores here.) hehehe exciting can't wait! 
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Dec 3, 2009 18:09
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Yeah! Cole is a thing! You can power trains with it and that. Not as good as presents but it's an important bit of the world! Anyway! Helloa matees! ok, well as you know I've been talking to the sparkly White NInjer! It's ok we didn't go to a creepy van or something, we just went over there a bit, so ppl couldn't hear the big giant SECRET ABOUT CHRISTMAS that he wanted to tell me! Except I don't think very much of the secret knowledge of the high-elfes' or whatever he is, because the secret wasn't actually that big giant. He reckons you can't cope with how amazing the secret is but actually u'r pretty cool I think, so yeah, even now I know the secret I'm still just going to tell you it. Secret is this: The secret NAME of the Christmas Force that is approaching North Pole! YEs! Because see, people like him from his big tall bendy elf land right, they think that names have super powers and you can do amazing things by knowing things's names, but that's stupid because I knoe loads of ppls names and I can't make magic things happen, so I'll just tell you anyway what it is. So. The name of the big Christmas that;s on its way is: Oh, er... o no! trying to remember! what was it, it was, the name was like a fortune-tell rather than a name, so not like "Solstice Wind Blizzard Seraphim" or something, more like "this will happen" type of thing. it was "you'll something" or "something U'll". But anyway not actually that good a secret, especially since when it gets here it will be really obvious what its name is anyway. I say we press White Ninjer for more christmas secrets next time we see him. He's gone off now though so we'll have to find him later, don't know where he went. And o look, that feller from yesterday called Stephen! is back now. I wonder where he went off to just then until just now! hehe and look, there's the spirit of Christmas Past, he's giving stephen! a really funny look.  He thinking probbly "Who is Stephen! and where did he go when white ninja was here!" he's an inquisitive chap, him. Likes to knoe everything that has happened in the: Past. Right! Now then! I think we should look for a new chocolate straight away today! Come on, I think I can smell some! I ahve keene chocolate senses come on! sniff sniff hehe I can smell chocolate sniff sniff sniff HEHE that's very chocolately smell. Folloe! There we go look it's some chocolate, right there in the middle of the pavement. Someone's just left chocolate there in a little curly heap. Look you can see the lovely chocolate smell coming off it in waves eheh. Yum yum, I'm having that! All for me!!! It is my chocolate and nobody can have it - but wait, because no! I will not be so selfish! I will offer to you most - - no! no! ALL of the chocolate today! Yes! I am so generous. Here, you can eat this chocolate m80s! hehe go on, have chocolate.... yum! that it, have the chocolate... hehe, can't believe you ate that chocolate, just off the flore. it didn't even come out of a dore! mohoh Oe look, who's this arriving? It's a flitty little fairy!  Fairy with a little tooth on the end of a stick. Must be the Tooth Fairy! Tooth Fairy flittly over to Snatter, let's follow and listen to what he say. "Yo!" he say. "WHo's in charge here?" Ppl all look at Snatter, even thoe Richard Burton here. Burton doesn't seem to mind, but you can't really tell sometimes with him. "Yo," say fairy again. "Allow me to introduce myself, I'm Chief R&D Officer and Head of Raw Materials from the World Mint." "You what, sorry?" say Snatter. "The World Mint, where we make the gold for the whole world. My division is mainly focused on collection and distribution of the raw materials - enamel, dentin, cementum etc - necessary to create the coin plantations in the enchanted orchards that my colleagues in the Agricultural Division maintain, although our related work involves the production of preservation equipment. We're currently working on selective breeding of plants in an effort to develop a flavour to apply to the currently revolting paste we have developed for the successful growth and maintainance of the raw materials we need. Children would have to apply this paste to their teeth, y'see, so that when they eventually fall out and are left for our dental collection agents they will be in top condition. The children won't use the paste if it tastes as horrid as it does at present, the World Mint is hoping to unveil the new flavour soon. We at the Mint haven't thought of a name for this flavour yet, but I'm sure Mint marketing executives will think of something soon enough." "Interesting. So why are you here?" say Dooley. "Actually, I'm visiting in my capacity as representative of our investments division today," he saye. "As I've explained, our business depends on the welfare of children, and research indicates that theor mental welfare - happiness, essentially - is vital to their physical welfare. It's cutting-edge stuff and still in its early stages at the moment, but the boffins seem to think that the happier a child is, the more likely it is to develop healthy teeth and gums. Personally, I think they're stating the bleedin' obvious in an attempt to secure more funding, because if you ask me a child is most likely to be happy when he lives in a wealthy environment, as in safe and clean, as in the sort of life that doesn't lead to gum disease and teeth getting knocked out, but who am I to argue with the scientists? "Anyway, point is, we've recently had word that you lot up here are developing something you call - is this right? - Christmas." Elf's look at each other. "Well, yes! We were having a think about that, yes. We were wondering about having a sort-of day, you know, to cram everything we like into, and get everyone involved, not just the people in the North Pole." "Great, great - well the boys in research reckon, you see, that this Christmas lark might be just the sort of thing children might enjoy, ergo the sort of thing that might make them happier, ergo good for our business! And I've been sent here to investigate, with in mind the possibility of offering a rather impressive grant, if I like what I see." The elf's get excited by this. "A grant? What sort of grant?" say Dooley, who is very practical. "Well, sky's the limit really," say Tooth Fairy, "I mean I'm from the actual World Mint, as I say. We grow the gold. So, whatever I deem fit. What can you tell me about this Christmas idea then?" Everyone suddenly looks a bit dumstruck. "Actually we're still ironing out the kinks," say Snatter hastily, "maybe you might want to, er..." "..To, er, enjoy the hospitality of our Workshop complex," say Duddles, "just get settled in, and then we can um, schedule a proper tour and a formal meeting or two in a couple of days once we've sorted out a few, er, formalities?" "Neat," say the tooth fairy. "Yo! Ok then, show me to my room!" He excited about a holiday on the company bill I think! Off go Tooth Fairy with Mr O'Brien, who will show him to his room, probbly in a different bit to where Salteye is staying, I don't think a sea-dog like him will impress the grant authorisation board.
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Dec 4, 2009 16:37
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Oh, all right then, we'll find a proper dore if you're going to be choco-fussy. Just having a look around out here for one. Everyone's still out here, to discuss what Christmas should be. "That White Christmas Ninja fellow said that there was a sort of Christmas force on the way, didn't he?" say Duddles. "Perhaps he could give us some advice? What do you reckon Stephen!" "White Ninja?" say Stephen! "What White Ninja was that then, I didn't see any White Ninja! Whatever could you mean!" Everyone just ignore him. Snatter give him a bit of a crosspatchy look. "I am still very concerned about that big snowball that fell down," Richard Burton say. "I've seen such things before. The Antisnatter was known to be destroyed in the blast that ruined our central tower last year, but his body was never recovered. I believe we should prepare for some kind of an attack, just to be on the safe side." "What do you suggest, the giant floating head of the actor Richard Burton?" ask Snatter. "I know of an enchanted cave in the icy tundras," Burton say, "where once hung icicles embued with great powers. They were plucked from the cave by conquering warlords in ancient times. However, their powers are for good, and the warlords could not use them. Those powers still exist, and could be used to protect our land." "Jolly good, shall we have those then? Where are they?" "They are under the protection of a relative of mine, who lives in a fortified igloo out in the frozen wastes. It will take a day to journey there by reindeer. Go, and retrieve the icicles of power!" "Righto then," say Snatter. "Saddle up the reindeer!" "I'll come with you!" say Rose. Yeah, she likes Snatter now, now that the White Ninja's not here. Tsshh! "Should I go with him, Richard Burton?"  "No, it might be dangerous!" go Snatter. "It's pretty nippy out in the frozen wastes. I went there once, I was like, wrhh! It's WELL cold." "Kringle is right," bume Burton. "Seriously, it's MENTAL." say Snatter. "Christmas Ninjas," say Burton, and the ninjas are standing around in their normal ninja gear, you knoe, cloth masks and tassly bits and that. "We must not let our guard down. Until the icicles can be retrieved, use your powers to guard our Workshop." The rangers nod. "SHMORPHIN' TIME!" shouts the one wearing red ninja stuff, and they hold up the special boxes with coins in that Snatter got them for Xmas last year. And with a big flash of light...  *Ja-PAN!* They are in their power ninja suits, just like the White Ninja was! I wonder if he will join their team? Where is he anyway? "Stephen!" goe a voice. "Just coming!" goe Stephen! "Er, I'd better go, someone's calling me. Er, bye!"  Snatter seems annoyed at Stephen for some reason. *Ja-PAN!* Oe and suddenly here's the White Ninjer! He will help the others after all! Hooray!  Well, looks like Snatter did decide to take Rose with him after all, that's nice. "Wait a mo," shout Duddles tho. "What?" go Snatter. "You're taking your Log Book, right?" "Yes, why?" say Snatter. "Well, it's just, have you learned yet that they have... a special secret?"  I don't know what Duddles is on about, but he's holding a book up that's made out of a log of thick wood. (Log book, do you see?) It doesn't have proper pages, but it has a special sort of wood that you can write on apparently. What's the point of that, a book without pages in? But they're talking like Duddles invented this a little bit ago and already gave it to them. "It's one of my most exciting inventions!" Duddles say, and if you look at his face, he does look quite enraptured by his creation. Well either that or he looks like he's saying "H-Hockity... pockity?" but it's tricky to tell. "Yes DUddles," say Snatter, "we discovered it for ourselves! Whatever we write in the log books fades away very quickly, but if we draw a special rune first, then whatever we write will appear in the other person's log book. Sometimes I've written in it to say to Rose that I'm bringing a new load of wood I've woodcut over to her factory, and she reads it and puts the kettle on! It's really good." "That's right!" goe Duddles, "I can't believe how clever I am sometimes, I get so many ideas I don't know where to keep them in my head! Anyway, Rose left her log book in the hut so I brought it along to give back to her, but this is perfect! Don't you see?" "What?" go Snatter "Well, you write in your book, and we'll keep this one here! That way, if you get in any bother, we'll know straight away!" "Oe that's quite a good idea," say Snatter. "Ok!" And off they go, Snatter and Rose, to seek out the igloo fortress in the frozen wastes, and recover the icicles of powar! Merry journeying Snatter and Rose! And the Log Book was today's dore! A chocolate fell out and I caught it look, it's in the shape of the log book. OMnom. Anyone who wasn't pls'd with the chocolate from the flore can have this to take the taste away. See, I am nice. Buml0r fucked around with this message at 23:24 on Dec 4, 2009 |
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Dec 4, 2009 23:20
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Tool Maker posted:Where did the Christmas ninjers get their new costumes? they're pretty rad. yeah, i dunno! it's just like they're completely ignoring all of last year's stuff and they're just retconning new suits and powers into it this year. dunno if they do that every year or what
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Dec 5, 2009 00:03
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Well pink's usually a bird one cause it's a girl. duno about blue but it's got a long face. What do you reckon?
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Dec 5, 2009 12:03
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Helloes. There's a lot of standing about going on today outside the Elf Workshop, because everyone's a bit worried. I mean, apparently some sort of force is on its way and they want to be ready for it, but they don't know what it is! It's nearly Christmas... but they don't know what that should be! It's time to get it sorted out, elfs! Get your act together! Anyway, Snatter and Rose have been journeying all night and daye, and now everyone's crowding round Duddles who has his Log Book open. Duddles has been reading what Snatter has been writing, and is telling everyone else. He's telling them really excitedly the story of their journey, doing actions and sound effects and that - but then someone said it might be easier to just tell them with words so he did. Words goe: "Snatter and Rose travelled across the frozen wastes! The snow lashed at their faces as their went through the forbidding storm! Eventually, they came to... the fortified igloo!  "wherein waited the floating head of the actor Richard Burton's relative, the guardian of the Icicles of Powar!!" Everyone roll their eyes a bit. "Get on with it Dudles," go Dooley. "All right, so. They made their way up the mountain and into the fortress, where they met ZORDON, GUARDIAN OF THE ICICLES!  "Hullo I am ZORDON," said Zordon guardian of the Icicles. "Hullo Zordon," said Snatter and Rose. "Hullo. I suppose you're here for the Icicles of Power?" "Yeah, the floating head of Richard Burton sent us here in search of them," said Snatter. "We've heard of a great festive force that draws near to the North Pole, and he thinks we'd better prepare to defend ourselves!" "Righto, no complaints from me," said Zordon, "you can have them. Here's the thing though. The Icicles of Power are not an item you can just collect and take home. They are a power, a state of being, which resides in the hearts of each of the Christmas Ninjas!" "What, even the White one?" "Errmm. You'll have to remind me. There's that many of them now. Is he the one where the red one hadn't been in it for ages and then he came back suddenly with amazing powers?" "I dunno." "Oh, wait, is he the one where, he used to be a green one, but even though he seemed to be the best one at fighting, instead he always just got separated and lost his watch and the Putties would easily capture him, and then maybe towards the end he'd join in and then they'd win, but then he spent weeks and weeks losing his powers and eventually we refitted him with a new suit?" "Dunno." "Wait, he's not the one that's really a little boy is he, and he uses his powers to look up girls skirts and it gets edited out in America?" "Shouldn't think so." "Ok, well anyway, yeah, they've basically all got magic icicle powers in them. But those powers can only be unlocked by one who bears the symbol of the Galactic Christmas Force!" "That sounds pretty good!" "It is! Here you go, this is it." And into Snatter's hands flew a golden coin with a wondrous motif emblazoned across its surface!"  Wow look, it's like a christmas tree but it's gone all curly-twirly. And also hey look it's a sort of 20p type one instead of a round coin. that's weird, but I suppose there's no reason all mystic coins need to be round ones is there! nice one zordon, fight the cliché. "Okay, now, I've got to warn you, the power of the Galactic Christmas Force is very strong and very valuable. The moment you step out of this fortress, the forces of evil will be after you, trying to claim it for their own!" "What?!" "I know. But keep a true heart and a something something, and you will prevail!" "A what?" "SOMETHING SOMETHING." "Oh okay then," said Snatter and Rose, and they set off! They're on their way back home right now, so presumably they'll be back here around tomorrowish some time." "That's good then," say Dooley. That's basically that, so everyone dissipates off in different directions. I think I'm going to follow Duddles and Dooley, who are going into the workshop. Duddles has got his hands stuffed in his jacket 'cause it's really cold out here. "Are you worried?" he say "Well I'm alert and guarded," Dooley reply, "guarded and alert. I'm just concerned about this whole Christmas thing. I mean, we all knew it was coming, but now we have this weird proclamation from on high that it's Coming, with a capital C." "Christmas is Coming," say Duddles to himself. "But what can that mean? I wish that high-Ninja chap would stick around for more than a couple of seconds together so I could actually ask him, that's all. I expect it's nothing to worry about though." "Yes," say Dooley, "I expect it's nothing to worry about." But then they turn around and see something.  "Cor dear," go Dooley. "We shouldn't give that goose so much bread all the while, he's getting a bit, I mean he's obviously full." That's om-nominous foreshadowing, is that. Duddles & Dooley run in, take off their coats (it's nice and warm in workshop today) and scamper off, to prepare and worry, worry and prepare.
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Dec 5, 2009 12:53
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Don't know what the chocolate is. No dore yet today m80s, but I've found this look, this might lead to it. Why, it's a trail of little chocolates! Little chocolates like cadbury's bottoms, or mohh-omlo-mohlteasers, or om-a-noms. Any of those would be nice. Let's follow the trail. If you want to eat some chocolates from the trail while we follow it that's fine m80s, help yourselves hehe.
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Dec 5, 2009 17:08
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hehehe, well, let's leave the trail of chocolates for now then. maybe it's not a trail of chocolates after all. Oe look, the trail has led us past the dore of Elf Workshop, and look! INside the door! Duddles and Dooley's jackets are still hung up, but the Log Book has fallen out of Duddles' pocket! He must've left it there by mistake cause he was putting his hands in pockets so they wouldn't be cold. Shall we have a look? Let's have a look in the Log Book come on. Snatter & Rose could be writing stuff in it and nobody would know! ok let's see a look. Ooh! It had a 5 on the book, and a chocolate was inside, of an igloo! Brills, we can deconstruct the bricks of it, and eat a brick each. Yum num num. Oe that's interesting! According to this, it looks like Snatter has met someone on his journey back. Well, I certainly hope it isn't someone evil! Zordon was saying they need to watch out for that! But no it looks like everything's fine. Snatter has been writing in his Log Book and it's been coming up in this one, that they got to the ruined village of the Snowmads. Remember last year? Some Snowmans had to leave their village and live a Snowmadic life, because it all got ruined by nastyness led by the terrible Antisnatter. Well this bloke is there, living in one of the ruined igloos!  Snatter says that he went "Hello" and the bloke went "hello." and he went, "The North Pole can be a lonely place on a Saturdy night.... and this is only Thursdy morning!" "Oh," went Rose, "you should come and visit the workshop, it's ever so friendly. There's lots of people turning up to stay. A mangly old pirate, a flitty little fairy, all sorts." "No thanks," say the man. He sounds sort of downcast, but I can't tell if he is! "I'm not here to enjoy meself. I'm out here living rough for a few weeks, you know. So I can get an idea of the plight of the Snowmads. Call it a, er... a good will project." "You're making a charitable gesture," say Snatter. "No, that's just shivering. It's cold in here you know." "Nice and warm at the workshop," Rose offer again, "and we have lovely adventures, you really should come and stay." "No thanks. I'd only bring the place down. Nothing ever happens to me," go the man. "I feel like an old splintered drumstick." "Well, if you're sure," say Snatter. "By the way I'm Chris, and this is Rose. What's your name?" "Starr," say man. "Funny name for a man... but a very festive sort of a name. Starr it is then. Well, see you later Starr!" And they goe off. Snatter say that as they were going he thought he heard him mumbly, "S'not me real name anyway," to himself, but isn't sure and that the whole ordeal was quite unpleasant. oe. I didn't expect that to be in the sentence. What a funny thing for Snatter to say, I wonder why it was so unpleasant. I mean it would probably be unpleasant sitting in an igloo like that, but Snatter didn't have to do it and anyway he's got a big coat. What's he talking about! Anyway! I'm going to hold onto this Log Book, we can read about Snatter's adventures through the frozen wastes! I expect he'll have a lot of adventures on the way.
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Dec 5, 2009 20:54
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LOG ENTRY Despite the odd distraction/diversion, I'd say the journey back to the Workshop is going as well as can be expected. Conditions are severe, but we knew that would be the case on the way out. Hopefully the return journey will be easier than the way there, at least. Still, even with reassurance from more than one giant floating head that I'm the man best suited to defend the place, coupled with the fact that I know I've succeeded before, I've got to admit to a twinge of concern as we make our way back. Christmas shouldn't be something I - of all people - should ever fear, should it?
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Dec 6, 2009 13:30
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Snatter still isn't back home! He must have been detained by the forces of evil! or something, how exciting! Let's crack open the old log book and see if he's been saying anything about it. Hmm, no, nothing, but - oh hello! What's this? What on earth are you doing coming towards me? Oh I see! Ha ha ha! Ok it looks like Snatter HAS written in his log book! Ah! Seems he has met someone else on his travels - nothing evil though, just a person. According to this, he - - oh!  M8s! M8s! It's my old friend, M8s! I haven't seen you in a very long time, M8s! I thought I wouldn't see you this year! What brings you here? Oh I see! He say he's been worried about us because of the elfs being worried about Christmas is Coming. That's very nice of you m8s, but we're fine! Everything's pretty relaxed around here! You look hungry, m8s. I know. You can have all of today's chocolate, we haven't had it yet! Come on follow me! (watch this m80s, hee) There look. Follow that trail on the ground, you will come to the chocolate. No, go on, it's fine, we won't have chocolate today it's all for you! Yeah, follow the trail there... yeah... yeah look there's the chocolate look! That big heap on the ground, near the way into that big british castle. Whoever was on their way in there obviously dropped a lot of chocolate just before they got to the door. And look, little paw prints of chocolate leading inside. Hehe, someone's got to clean up some expensive chocolatey carpets! What? Of course you should eat it! It's your special chocolate! Go on, just scoop it up and munch it down, yeah. Yeah. mohhhh omlo well done M8s. You're a star. Haha he's brilliant. Well m80s, let's have a look in this log book then, because today Snatter and Rose have met a lady.  Snatter says they met her on the way across the frozen wastes today, she was operating some gadgetry, and the funny thing was she was called Rose as well! "Are you called Rose Suchak?" ask our Rose, who is definitely called Rose Suchak and that's a very funny question for her to ask. "No," say the new Rose. "I'm called Billie Piper really." That confuse everyone. "Oh, sorry," say our Rose, "I only asked because it turns out there's another Rose Suchak out there somewhere." "How do you know?" ask Snatter. "Well you know those little birds that fly back and forth between our books?" Yes! I know those! That's what happened just before M8s turned up. A little robin came along (yeah they're xmas birds, can't believe rockin robin isn't a christmas song where they made it up), and it landed on the Log Book and tweeted at it, and the tweets turned into words in the book! GOSH Duddles is a clever little elf isn't he, better keep an eye on him in case he invents more things! Little birds must read what snatter writes, and then tweet it into the other book! I didn't noe tweeting could be used for talking to Snatter & Rose! Anyway, Rose continue, "Well, you know how when you first start using the Log Book the little birds ask you your name? Well I said "Rose Suchak" and the birds said someone was already called that! That's why I went with my middle name instead and now my name in it is anyasuchak." "I did wonder why you did that," say Snatter. "Well that's not me," say Billie. "I can't use my equipment for that sort of thing." "What is that equipment anyway?" Snatter ask. "Ssh, it's a secret! I'm working with a SECRET AGENT!" "A secret agent? WAIT A MO. Not one that's working for the Antisnatter?" "Oh no, nothing evil. He works for Her Maj's Tea Service. But he's up against some bad enemy people, so my job is basically just to check he's still alive, using my machine!" "What does it do?" "Well, not very much. All I do really is sit here in this very well hidden spot where the bad enemies don't know where I am, and I check the agent's alive using this. It's just a question of pressing a button really, then wait for the light to flash on, which means he's pressed the button as well and is therefore still alive, and then that's the work done for another hour or whatever. One day if I don't get the little blip back saying he's alive a couple of times in a row, I'll know he isn't, and I'll tell our boss and they'll be all  . He's the one doing the actual secret things and sneaking about, I just sit and do that!""Oh how boring!" say Rose. "Yep!" say Rose, and our pair set off, harrowed by this experience. mohh, what's he, he did it again, just plopped that in at the end of a sentence, I wasn't expecting it again. What's he on about? She seemed all right, what's so harrowing about that? Maybe Snatter just doesn't like the idea of people being out in the snow on their own at Christmas, being all lonely. That's just like him to think that sort of thing isn't it. I wonder who the secret agent is tho!! Hey, maybe - - whisperwhisper, maybe it's m8s! he was an agent wasn't he, he worked with agent beazie and scruge! ahemahem I WONDER WHO SECRET AGENT IS M8S, DO YOU KNOW? he say noe. but then that's what he would sae. And the Log Book's got a number 6 on now so I'll open it again and find... Chocolate is a - wahey! It's an actual box of Cadbury's Roses, what with all the Roses in today's story! Yum yum I'll be having some of that thank-you-very-much-for-feeding-Julian! Who wants what? I'll have the little bournville! (they don't do that any more because they're thickies but this one has got one because it is christmas magicle.) Buml0r fucked around with this message at 20:12 on Dec 6, 2009 |
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Dec 6, 2009 19:44
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^^^ That's ok there's plenty, tuck in!
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Dec 6, 2009 23:32
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In a bar today, feeling all grown up. There's a little mobile disco on, it's not that good but I like the bloke talking between records, he's silly hehe. Anyway the reason I'm here is that I followed Salteye the Pirate in. Now, you might wonder why I decided to follow Salteye, so I submit this explanation: Pirate. Yeah? I thought if there's a pirate going into a bar then it's going to be worth having a look at. Unfortunately Salteye does not seem up for much Pirating today. He is just sitting sadly at table staring into the dreggs of him drink. He's a broken man! He is sad and has given up his hunt for his long lost son, having searched everywhere in whole world and finally arrived here to drown him sorroes in grog. Him beard is forlorn and bereaved. Dooo dooo doo go the music, and it's one of those songs that sound sad if you put them on in a bar when someone's sad. dooo dooo, and then the music finish. "All right?" goe DJ. "So, er. Nother record then. First of all though, bit of news, from the workshop. So, every day, elfs are makin' toys, right? There they go, cobblin' 'em together from wood. But the queue, is really lonn-guh. It's really long, so they're going, "what we gunno do?" Anyway, head elf, he's goin', "If this was a few years from now, we'd have Santer, and he'd be able to 'elp out." "Yeah but we can't, 'cause he's not old enough yet" and blah blah. Right? So. "So anyway, one day - the queue was suddenly a lot shorter. Right? In the workshop. So... so anyway. So, the queue's goin' down really fast, wood's going in, toys are coming out, so everybody's goin' "How's that happening? How are they managing to do this," right? So they have a little look inside, and they can just see, little Santa feller's in there! Yeah? Little feller with, like a, little beard on an' that, so they're right, "Oh, he's finally here." But then hang on? He's only making the toys with his hands and his feet. An' that. Right?" As the sound of the DJ's voice fill the room, Salteye's suddenly alert, like he recognises something!  "So they're goin' ahh, good on 'im, right? He's got a new... method of makin' toys and that. Errmmm, so, one bloke, he's got some chestnuts, he's munchin' on those. He goes round - an', well, it really went off. Little Santer's jumpin' about, he's goin' mental, reacting to the nuts. And the bloke's goin' "Why's, why's it all goin' mad? What's the matter with Santer?" So there's this little feller sat there with, with like a, little beard on an' that, goin' mad. He goes an' has a look - - it's only a little monkey. So... right, time for another record now..." That's not true! Him a maniac! Salteye has gone up to the DJ, Pilky, and he's blinking at him in amazement. Pilky's not really reacting. "P- P- Pilky?" say Salteye. "All right?" go Pilky. "Me boy! Pilky! It must be you! Before Oi took arrf to sea, Oi remember tellin' me lady that if Oi were ever a dad, Oi'd name me ferst son Pilky, after me favourite kind of fishin' rod! Oi've searched every sea an' this is the last place, it must be you! Tell me lad, did you ever know yer muther or father?" "Errrm," Pilky say like a big sigh, "not really, I mean, you know. I don't remember much except it were windy." "That be the typhoon! Carried you away! Pilky, Oi'm yer dad! Oi've been searchin' for you all across the oceans of this world!" "Well....." Pilky's not convinced. "Arr! Look! We got the same baldy head!" he lift his hat. "We got the same slightly gormless expression!" "What gormless expression?" "We got the same grumpy outlook! Don't you see the resemblance? Go on, think of something that annoys you and so will I, an' watch how similar our faces go. There! See? What do you think to that, boy?" "Bit weird, innit?" go Pilky.  "Tell me lad, Oi got ter know, where have ye been since that day? Was life kind?" "Err, well I more or less made do. I were growin' up on the estate, and there were enough weird people there. There was this woman about four 'ouses down right? Bit rough - her kid used to tek a reindeer into the 'ouse. Musta nicked it from somewhere. I looked in the window once, the reindeer was in the lounge. Just like, walkin' around!" "All roight, but has life been good to yer?" "Well... not really, boiler's been playin' up. I called someone round, have a look at it, 'cause it's a nightmare having the boiler broke in this weather. Anyway so, feller comes round - ninety quid. Ninety quid. All he did was turn up, said "ohhhh yeaahhh yeah yeah, auhh... just bang it." Bang the boiler. That's ninety quid! Another one, I called him out, right, he comes over, takes one look at it, says there's nothing he can do. So I call again another time, hopin' to get someone else - same bloke comes round, says it's a danger, charges me again! For that! Couldn't believe it." "Arr, we all have our complaints lad, but - but tell me about the good toimes. What be the most wonderful experience you ever had??" "Well..." say Pilky, thinking. "Arr?" "Well I suppose..." "Arr? Out with it lad, what's the most amazing thing you've ever seen?" "Well there's this hairy Chinese kid." Salteye sigh. "Arr, play a record."
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Dec 7, 2009 19:22
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Well, they've gone off now somewhere, so I'm a bit bored. What shall we do? I noe. M8s, go and run around a bit outside yeah? It'll be funny to watch you jumping about in the snoe. Yeah, go on. Get your PE kit on so you don't sweat-up your clothes, and run and jump about outside for a bit until I tell you to stop. There's a good lad. What, you've not brought an PE kit? WELL YOU'LL HAVE TO DO IT IN YOUR PANTS THEN M8 WON'T YOU. Go on, get down to your pants. In fact, here, here's my old pants that I was going to take to the laundrette today, you can stick those on your head. Yeah, right on your head. You'll just wear many pants today. That's right m8. hehehe. look at that. what a daftoid. him got him head in him pants. him in a groovy disco trance. Go on then out you go M8s, do some jumping about, we'll watch. Gooo onnn, it'll be funny! Because I say so! Go on. hehe. mohhhh look at him stood out there in his pants in the cold!  mohohohh What, a bit harsh? But it is funny though, you've got to admit. Ohhhh all right then spoilsports. M8s, you can come back in now, come on. M8s? Ahahaha, he ran away! I can't believe him hahah he's such an idiot. There he goe look off into the distance, hehe. He is going to run around after all! Mohhhh omohomohoho Well, that was getting a bit boring anyway, let's have a look in the Log Book, see if we get some chocolate. CHocolate!! Oop, there we go yep, chocolate today is of a little dude, and he's falling down and he's holding up an umbrella to stop him falling. Ok, fair enough, wonder why? O here we go, according to Snatter's Log entry today, he was walking beneath some cliffs when all of a sudden, hords of little dudes like the one on the chocolate appeared on the top of the cliff! He looked and went "Oe! I wonder who these little fellowes are?" and then suddenly they all just started jumping over the cliff! But they didn't have umbrellas so they just went "aaaahh!" downwards! And the hordes went "aaaa" and then they went flump down into a great big heap at the bottom of the cliff! The piles of them all piled up all over the bottom of the cliff, and Snatter got squashed under all the heaps!  Hehehehe look at him! hehe I bet every time one landed on him it was like, "honk!" muhuu And then he says again that it was unpleasant experience, well fair enough that time actually yeah. hehe. he got squashed! I think he's a bit overly dramatic about it though. luckily, he is fine now! Not hurt! That's good, wouldn't want our Snatter friend getting squashed before he's made his way through all the adventures and got back to the workshop would we! Until he can get all the way back here, he can't deliver the Special Christmas Coin thing that Zordon gave him, and without that the Ninjas can't really do anything if the evil Antisnatter decided to attack! But if I noe Snatter!!, he won't let any obstacle like falling hordes of little blokies stop him from completing him's journey! All the way back! Come on Snatter! Don't stop there!
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Dec 7, 2009 22:39
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All right all right, next time I see M8s I'll say sorry to him. I was only mucking about, I didn't know he was going to just run off did I! I didn't really think he'd go out in the snow in his pants either, what a silly billoid. When he comes back I'll give him that day's chocol-- hmm, he might not like that, thinking about it. Ok, tell you what, when he comes back you can decide what chocolate to give him, and you can make sure it's the nicest chocolate we've got and everything. I won't even give it to him, it'll just be nice. ok? He's on his way home with snatter now, we'll make sure there's a big warm wellcome, and everything's gr8.
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Dec 8, 2009 02:04
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Bored without M8s here now, I wish I'd not sent him off in his pants. hope he comes back soon. Tell you what, let's de-bored ourselves by having some chocolate straight away today. Come on, let's have a look in the good old Log Book. I love seeing what ppl Snatter has met today on his way back from Zordon's. Okayy let's see Oop, here we go. Hehe chocolate is a pair of pants but it was in there upside-down just like the one on M8s' head yesterday! Hehehehe I wonder if that's who Snatter met today. I'd laugh if he's run all the way over the frozen wastes to where Snatter is just in his pants! mohhh MOHHHHHH he DID!!! MUHUHUHO what an idiot! I can't believe it! He could've just come back inside but instead he went all the way off in that direction! Aahahah I can't believe it! He was just! "Shall I go back in? It's warm in there! No I knoe, I'll go off this way!" Hahaha *Psheeooo!* diddlun diddlun diddlun dun dun! Ahaahahaha hahaha I love good old m8s  So it say here that Snatter met M8s, and he was all cold and shivery! haha! Oh no, that's amazing. What's he doing! AHAHAH OH GOD! hahahahh and Snatter described the pants on his head as being like "a shameful crown" AHAHAHAHAAAAA!!!! M8s is the King of the Pants Ppl aaaahahahahah!!! haaaaaaaaaahhh!! ok ok, i'm ok now. i'm ok. aahaha i'm fine. right. Haa, ok. reading more. Ok good, well Snatter say that M8s has got a big coat on now that Snatter probably had in the slé, so he's ok now, and they're coming home together. Oh my wordy! I can't breathe, m8s is amazing. KING OF PANTS mohhhhhohohohuuuuhhuhh oh my goodness gracious. ok. i'm ok. Oh look, there goe Duddles. He looks like he's lost in thought. You never know what he might think about sometimes. I think I need to see something calm and elfy to calm me down, so let's sneak along behind him. "Christmas is Coming?" he mutter to himself, and say things like, "what does it mean? What if we're not ready? This feels like it could be so important!" you know that sort of thing. He's going over to Snatter's hut to see if he's left something there, or something. Oe, but that's interesting Before he even goe in, he's found something on the flore outside, just round the corner!  Oe! Now that's interesting. That's very very interesting. It's an Account, a record of festive events in the past or future. The Ghost of Christmas Past must have dropped it earlier, I think I saw him carrying it when we were hanging around outside Snatter's hut! Duddles is looking very hard at the Account. I think he noes it might be a dangerous thingy for untrained eyes! What is he going to do... He's looking in! What will he see in the Account! Oooh him eyes are lighting up slightly purple and... and he tear him gaze away from the Account! Duddles is a scaredy elf! But he knoes what he has found might be important. I think he's going to nick it and run away to look at it somewhere safe! Haha, brilliant! I bet that Account will tell him what's Coming at Christmas, and then he'll noe exactly what they can expect! Exciting!
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Dec 8, 2009 18:29
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^^^ Wouldn't worry about that, it's probbly just mecha snatter manifesting in the world. we're in xmas world so we'll be fine! Well. Today, Duddles is all set up with the Account, ready to look into it. He was going to go into that new tower Snatter helped to build recently, but I don't think that would have been a very good idea for him to go in there. It's new, so people would have come in to admire the new woodwork and they would have seen him and gone WHAT IS THAT? and he would have had to explain why he had taken away this magical globe thing to look into it, instead of giving it straight back to the Ghost of Christmas Past or someone like that. So instead, he has gone to a secret hidey-corner somewhere in the Workshop, where not many people goe. He's going to look into it now! How exciting, what will it be... "Duddles! What are you up to?" Uh-oh! Here's Dooley! A much more sensible elf than Duddles. Rumbled! "I, er, that is to say, well I mean," "We have more important things to worry about than fooling around with trinkets!" go Dooley. "Some force is drawing near which we don't understand, and we must prepare for it. Haven't you noticed the strange atmosphere building this year? An air of resentment and competition, people are becoming..." "Bothered." offer Duddles "Yes! Precisely! I wonder whether it isn't something to do with the fact that we're supposed to be preparing our "Christmas" idea for that money-obsessed board at the World Mint. It's set us on edge, we're at one another's necks! If only Chris and Rose were here!" "But I think I can help," say Duddles. "That's what I'm doing! I found this in the snow near Snatter's hut. I had a look into it, and I... I think it's the future." "I beg your pardon?" "It tells you the future! Only one specific part of the future, but I think whoever left it there was deliberately bringing it here, they'd seen it and wanted to come back and do something to help. To warn us." "Give that to me." Dooley grab the Account from Duddles and look at it very seriously for a while.  "If we use this... we must use it wisely." Dooley think hard. "My first instinct is to disapprove... but I remember Burgess last year told me something that gave me great concern. He said that the Chosen One must pay a terrible price before he can truly become Snatter. I hope that day is not imminent... "I will look. Perhaps at the very least I must discover the name of the force that approaches the North Pole. You stand back, and if anything befalls me, run and inform the Head at once." Duddle nods, looking a bit scaredy. Dooley peer into the Account. There's purple swirling in the Account and in Dooley's eyes, and after a few seconds there a flash, and Dooley look up happily. "Oh, that's all right then!" He say. "What is it?" goe Duddles  "A feeling of Christmas cheer and goodwill is approaching! We've all got that to look forward to!" "Oh good," say Duddles, happy. "Anything else?" "Well, there was one other thing, a sort of prophecy, but... well, it can't be right, that's all." "What?" "I don't know, it... it was jumbled up and made little sense! I got the impression that, at some point in the proceedings, I'm going to - well, I mean it sounds so silly - apparently I'm going to lick someone." "Lick someone?!" "Yes, I know! Ridiculous isn't it! Do we know anyone called Ronald?" "Ronald? Don't think so," say Duddles. "Well, keep an eye out. Apparently he's in danger of being licked!" they mohh. What a silly prediction! I can't see how that will be relevant! Well they've gone off mohhing to themselves, so let's have a look in the Log Book for today. Ok, chocolate is of a multipack of tin cans, you noe like drinks cans, and they seem to have tropical flavour sauce in! Yumm, one each of those I think. So, it say here in Log Book that Snatter met a robot maid today! And it was on the beach! That's weird isn't it in the middle of the north pole, but also weird is that the "maid" was "made" out of an unusual Thing.  That's right! She was constructed entirely out of tins of Lilt! isn't that weird! She was tidying up the beach, was doing her duties efficiently and with a totally tropical taste! Snatter have no better idea what that's all about than I do m80s! What a silly adventure! Luckily he is happy and still travelling home. Everything is going very well for Snatter today.
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Dec 9, 2009 17:45
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Well that's good, maybe they've sent him to guard the world in case evil mecha snatter attacks? we haven't seen him around this year though, so I expect he's not coming!
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Dec 9, 2009 18:42
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^^^ that was a particularly good bit of the Mario film. AN INTERMISSION Hi everyone, thanks for reading this far. We're over a week in yet and people still seem to actually be reading, so thanks for that. There's a couple of reasons for this little intrusion, hopefully you'll like them. First off, have a look at this that arrived in my inbox a couple of days ago, from a chap called Ben Haith. Ben didn't know about Snatter until a couple of weeks ago, he came to my table at the Thought Bubble convention in Leeds and bought a Snatter print, so I told him what this was all about. It looks like he's got the hang of what's going on around here:  Isn't that great? Now then! Snatter Prints! Some people have been asking where they can get Snatter Christmas cards. Well, I'm looking into that, but in the meantime you can have your pick of the Snatter prints that I made for the comic conventions I've been at in the last couple of months. Here we are: The Snatter Shop! There's also a comic there, which you'll like. Activity Corner! Who's in a caroling mood? Remember the Story So Far song at the start of the thread? If not, you should go back and have a look, because it took me blimmin' ages! Anyway, I realised I did leave out a few details that some of you might've liked me to mention. Mecha Snatter, the giant floating Head, etc. NOW'S YOUR CHANCE TO RIGHT THAT WRONG! Click HERE for the INSTRUMENTAL VERSION! Record your own version of the Story So Far and earn the respect and adoration of at least thirty people! If you can't sing or you haven't made up any words properly, all the better! If you want to turn it into some sort of mad hippity-hoppity rap, brilliant you're a genius! Do what you want with it, just drone on tediously over the top of it if you like, but do something for heaven's sake, and post it here! Yes! Ok? Right, back to the story then (until I think of something else)! Edit - mp3 link actually working now
Buml0r fucked around with this message at 20:54 on Dec 9, 2009 |
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Dec 9, 2009 20:33
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Theglavwen - the more people contribute to the thread, the better it is! It's boring if it's just me rabbiting on. Whatever you like! Don't worry about the lyrics, I mean frankly the sillier the better, right? As for Cracker Titan and the Haunted Forest, that's easy for me to arrange. Post in the SA-Mart thread and we'll sort it.
Buml0r fucked around with this message at 13:19 on Dec 10, 2009 |
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Dec 10, 2009 12:58
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Meighties, I'm a bit agitated today. I put down that Log Book somewhere and now someone's had off with it! I'll keep hunting about for it tho because I want to knoe what Snatter's been up to today. Who's got it!! 
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Dec 10, 2009 12:59
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^^^ muhuhu CHRISTMAS CARDS UPDATE! Cards confirmed, but I have to place the first order tomorrow so we don't miss Christmas! Come to the SA Mart thread and tell me which images you want me to order as cards!
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Dec 10, 2009 14:13
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Whew! I found it! Someone had been noseying at it but they put it down and I've got it back now. Let's find a secret place to look in it where nobody will try and nick it off us again. Here in the Workshop isn't a good place for keeping secret, there's various elfs looking worried in different ways here today, all sitting quietly, not talking. It's like they all have their own little private problems and they're not sharing them with each other. What's wrong with these guys! Everyone should all be open and share their problems so that we can think of the best way to react to them! Dooley is here, and he's muttering "Ronald? Ronald? I can't think of anyone called that." He get up and wander off. Duddles is going "Christmas is Coming. Christmas is Coming," to himself, and he get up and wander off a different way. Tooth Fairy is here, and he looks really wound up. I don't think anyone's told him yet what Christmas is supposed to be, and I think his holiday is about to come to an end, so he needs to find out fast or he'll be in trouble! Salteye & Pilky are here, Salteye looks like he doesn't noe what to say to his son, and Pilky looks like he's just staring out into space really. no energy. Mr Blessed, the beard growing teacher is here! He's got his own problems, dunno what they are. He's marching back and forth gesturing with his arm and sometimes just opening his mouth and making a loud sound, like "Behhh!" because he's got too much sound in him to contain when he hasn't got words to say. So everyone's here, except Snatter and Rose. I'll follow Duddles first, see what he's doing. Oe, he's talking to some of his best elfy friends, and they seem rapt listening to him. "The thing is," Duddles say, "there's been no Antisnatter activity. Isn't that worrying? I mean, something's happening boys, something's really happening, and he's nowhere to be seen!"  His friends names are Boog, Honka and Vout. Boog go "But he was blown up last year, wasn't he?" "He was," go Honka. "That's why we all had to muck in to rebuild the central tower! I hope it opens soon, I really want to see inside and---" "Never mind that!" snap Duddles! "This is the Antisnatter we're talking about! Yes, he was blown up last year, but we shouldn't imagine something like that could stop him! He'll surely be out there somewhere. We just need to find out where, and catch him off-guard." "But how?" ask General Staal. (that's what Vout recently decided ppl should call him, he's a bit odd.) "I don't know," say Duddles. "That's what we have to think about..." Ok that's not very interesting, I don't see them getting anywhere with that. Now I'm going to follow Dooley and see what he's up to. Ok, he's walking past a young man in a t-shirt. "Oh dear, dear me," Dooley is muttering, "Prophecies, and foreshadowing, and Duddles losing everything he touches, clumsy elf! And a spy? In our midst? What was it he worked for, her... her Maj's Tea Service..." Wait, how does he knoe about that? He must be the one who nabbed the Log Book! Oo Dooley you sneaky chap! hehe I don't mind thoe, christmas is for sharing! "Her who's what!" T-Shirt boy has piped up now. Oe! Yes! I know him, he worked for the Antisnatter last year, until he betrayed him and helped the elf's!! "Oh, nothing, just nattering to myself," Dooley sigh. "No, Her Maj's Tea Service, right? I know what that is!" Dooley perk up a bit. "I used to work for the Tea Service. It's just what it sounds like, a little silver tea set, cups and teapot things etc, all made out of SOLID MOON CHRISTMAS SILVER." "How can one work for something like that?" "By getting trapped inside it, that's how. There's a witch in there, trapped for ten thousand years! I got caught in there as well, and had to work for her! She's not really royal, she just thought being called 'Your Majes-tea' was a funny joke, given the circumstances." "Really...?" say Dooley. "And, would you have any idea who might be working for her now?" "No idea," say T-Shirt.  "Then... where might I find this Tea Service?" hmm. well. If that witch has been trapped for ten thousand years I shouldn't think a bumbly little elf like Dooley will have much luck getting her out. I don't think there's much to worry about from the witch. Who knows what sort of spells she might cast on him tho even if he just talks to her! He should steer clear I reckon.  Let's, er, I noe let's have a look what Snatter's been up to. I wonder what fun ppl he met today? Ok, chocolate inside the dore looks like a sort of wiggly thing. A worm or something? Dunno. who wants that? Hehe maybe if we snap it in half then we'll have two chocolates and so on, like some worms? There you go, snap that up and see where it gets you everyone.Anyway, let's see Oe, instead of meeting a person that tells them things or some hordes of ppl that jump off and heap up on snatter or King M8s of the Pants Ppl, hehehe, instead of that, they've entered some sort of healthy event thing. They're losing weight, and haha, he says it's all sponsoredfor charity. What an clever idea!  wow look at them! it worked! Now they're really thin and attractive. Look at them, they're beautiful now, they should now be photographed wearing expensive clothes as an example of what ppl should try and be like, because they'd look so good! Everyone should be as beautiful as Snatter and Rose are now, and everyone who doesn't should feel bad. In fact, if they ever get any fatter than that, I will call the Dailey Mail! Well, that's another day gone then, and it doesn't look like the Elf's are getting any closer to finding out what powerful force is heading towards them, and Snatter doesn't seem any nearer to delivering the Galactic Christmas Power! They'd better get a move on, Christmas will be here before we know it!
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Dec 10, 2009 19:46
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Duddles is staring at the account. I don't know why, Dooley seemed happy with it, maybe he's just daft. So. Silly dafty Duddles is looking at that Account and wondering what to do. I knoe what to do, nothing, go to bed, but he's thinking of other things. "How do we find him?" he mutter to himself. Oh he's talking about the Antisnatter again. I don't know why he's so fussed about this. Antisnatter's not doing anything this year. Oe, look. It looks like Duddles has got himself an idea. He pull out a little device... oh yes of course, very clever! It's the Snat-Nav thing he recently invented. What a clever little inventing elf Duddles keeps turning out to be. I thought he'd attached it to Snatter's slé, but apparently he had his own, all along. He type "Antisnatter" into it. There a pause, as the elfey gears inside the Snat-Nav turn and wiggly sticks wiggle around at them (that's how duddle machines work). after a bit of quiet, "Proceed, to the end of the road, and turn, left," it say in a ladyvoice. Duddles leap to him feet, hyperactive elf that he im, and he run up the stairs to a wooden balcony that overlook the main bit of the Workshop. "Everyone!" him shout. "Everybody, listen! I've found something!" Elfs gather round and look up at Duddles. Dooley is there as well looking. "I have in my hands an invention! I made it to help Chris navigate his slé, but even in his absence -" a murmur go round Workshop. Everyone's been wondering where he is, apparently. "it might help us! This device can lead us to the Antisnatter!" A gasp round! "The Antisnatter!" someone cry, "but he was bumed!" "I know!" shout Duddles, "and yet this device has revealed to me that he is out there somewhere, and that we can find him! It may just be his remains, but either way we have to know! I propose an expedition out across the frozen wastes to find him. I'll be following the directions precisely. One way or another, we'll find what we're looking for." "And then?" shout a voice from down below. It's Dooley, sensible to the end. Duddles look uncomfortable. He's all about big exciting ideas but doesn't think about how they'll end. "What will you do," Dooley continue, "when you find him? The Antisnatter has come very close to ending our world several times over. Will you fight him? Arrest him? He'll kill you in an instant!" "If there's one thing I know how to do," say Duddles crosspatchly, "it's think on my feet. I'll come up with something! The point is, right now we don't know where he is or whether he's alive. Everyone's been working under the assumption that he isn't, but what use is that? We have to find out! I'm going. Who's coming with me?" a big quietly settles on the workshop. nobody speaking. Duddles starting to look sad. "I am," go a little voice, and predictably two other little voices say so too. It's his pals Honka and Vout and Boog that he was talking to yesterday, of course. Other silly elfs like Duddles who don't think things through, and they think they're going to be able to deal with what they find when they track down the Antisnatter. Oh dear. Good luck, elfs, you'll need it! "Fine then," say Duddles, and stride out of the Workshop with him friends behind him, and all the other elfs watching them go and feeling worriedey. Outside, Dooley catch up with Duddles. "Duddles," he goe. "What?" say Duddles still striding. He cross with Dooley now. "Before you go, I need your help. I want you to locate something for me, it's called 'Her Maj's Tea Service'." Duddles pause. "What's that?" "It's something Chris mentioned... in the Log Book." Duddles looks like things are exciting and serious, and he ask Dooley about the Log Book. Dooley look around and quietly tell him that Snatter says he has met some people and had some adventures, but he's fine and he will be home soon. Duddles says that's good news! Duddles frown and type in "Her Maj's Tea Service" into the Snat-Nav. Snat-Nav say, "Her Maj's, Tea, Service. Is situated, on the, Silver Tea Tray. This is situated deep within the Labyrinths of Fear, past the Fortress of Assassins, beyond the Forbidden Gate." "Where are they?" go Dooley. "Floor 12 of Elf School, round that little passage that leads from the library to the Languages block." "Thanks," say Dooley and off he goe. "Warning," say the Snat-Nav just before he go. "The Tray is not free to take. You will first have to consult the Tray Guard." "Understood," say Dooley, and walk off determinedly. Duddles sets the Snat-Nav back to finding Antisnatter, and him and his pals march off across the snoe.  How very adventurous of them! Speaking of adventurous, let's see what Snatter doing. Ok so today's chocolate in the book is... I'm not quite sure what it is. It's some sort of animal, i dunno how to describe it really. it looks like it's about as big as four cats, and it's got a retractable leg so as it can leap up at you better, and it's got four ears, two of them are for listening and the other two are kind-of backup ears, and it's claws are as big as cups, and it's got magnets on its tail and, instead of a mouth, it's got four arses. This thing's such a weird shape there's plenty for everyone. Tuck in chaps and fechaps. Well! According to this, they met a little bumbly priest, who was wandering about looking confused. Apparently he was really scared of the Antisnatter, because apparently word's going round that the Antisnatter might be back!  The priest was really fretted up, so Snatter has been trying to calm him down and allay him fears, because everything's fine and there's no need to worry. I agree with that. I mean Duddles is on the case looking for him, Dooley is going to find out who the spy is and whether they should worry about him, Snatter's on his way home with special powers for the Ninjas, and all anyone's even facing here is Christmas! We like Christmas! You noe? Hurray! Here comes Christmas!
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Dec 11, 2009 23:24
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LOG ENTRY On occasion, while flying with reindeer over the North Pole, I have gazed up at the night sky and wondered at the emptiness of it. Confronted with the endless, unthinkable distance between myself and the nearest fleck of matter, I've found myself unable to fully process it. Even still, that sight is nothing compared to the blankness and the absolute lack of detail around me now. Despite being protected against the terrifying cold through which we travel, we still feel exposed and vulnerable, for who can tell how long our flimsy man-made protection can withstand the natural elements? Out here, however, as we enter what must surely be the last days of our perilous return to the Workshop, there is an emptiness beyond anything I knew I could perceive. The world is nothing but blank void, folded and unfolded about us in great heaving drifts. But it will take more than the blizzard to stop me.
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Dec 12, 2009 12:40
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 Oh! Oe! What horrible vision is this?! What terrible prediction of future calamitey! M80s, I couldn't help myself and had a little look into the Account that the ghost of Christmas Past left here! I don't know why he left it or where he's gone, but it certainly does tell the future! It tells a really horrible future, full of suffering and fear! just this little glimpse of it has jittered my fritters and no mistake!! What could ever cause things like that to happen?? We must avoid this terrible fate somehow! ok well let's see what's going on in the workshop today.  Well, Salteye and Pilky seem to be settling into their rolls as father and son. Salteye has bought a mattress for Pilky's room, but it doesn't fit between the cupboards! So Salteye has got a chainsaw and just sawed off the side of the mattress to make it fit. "I don't know about this," go Pilky. "Arr, it'll be foine," say Salteye. "You moight roll to the edge a bit, but the weight of the blankets'll keep yer in." That's good enough for Pilky. He shrug and get on the bed, and sure enough he roll straight off the side. "That's a bit weird, innit," say Pilky. "You think - anything, you can sort of trim anything, can't yer, and it normally works. It's amazing how much of a difference it makes just sawing off a bit of the mattress." "See, that's why Oi've gaffer-taped and stapled up the cut edge. Wouldn't want the springs to scratch me boy on the way down." I wouldn't want to splee on that, but Pilky seems like he's not too bothered. "I just wish I could get me boiler sorted out," he mumble, and get in bed. Let's go and see what Dooley's up to. I wonder if he found that Tray Guard yet. here's Dooley, and he's gone to the rume where Tray Guard is. He knock on the dore. "Enter.... strannnger," go voice from inside. Dooley go in. There stand the Tray Guard, with roving eyebrows and swanky cloak. Him beard is enigmatic and piercing!  "Ahhh, the first challenger of this stage! Welcome, watcher of illusion, to the castle of confusion," he say in a voice made of dragon's riddles and mythril. "I, Tray Guard, challenge you to the ultimate adventure!" him point to a stone doorway "Beyond that portal lies the dungeon of deceit, which I alone have mastered. But those who would cross the boundaries of time must master it also! Now, I am constrained to offer you certain final warnings, so listen to my words very carefully: on your quest I shall be with you and yet not with you, for there are places in the dungeon where even I may not safely go. The way to truth is tortuous. There is no correct route through the dungeon, but the right path can be found using logic and guile. The only way is onward, there is no turning back! Will you fight and yet survive, or will you flail and falter? Your skill's your own, and isn't mine to cultivate or alter. Well? Do you still wish to enter the quest?" "Actually can I just have a look at the tray?" "Yep," go Tray Guard and point to tray on a table next to him. "Cheers." Dooley go and peer at the tray. It's silver and have got silver cups and saucers and things on. "So this is Her Maj's Tea Service. But how to communicate with the spirit trapped within...?" BONGGG! Dooley is frozen in time like he's been paused on mid-80s video equipment! "Oh dear," go Tray Guard. "Temporal disruption complete, and until the next phase all adventuring must now cease - until you phase with us once more. Destiny, and the fate of this quest, will rest on the answer to the Elf's conundrum. And we must wait with him! Remain patient, and join us again tomorrow for the next chapter of this young dungeoneer's adventure!" ok tray guard, we will. Buml0r fucked around with this message at 01:31 on Dec 13, 2009 |
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Dec 13, 2009 00:57
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^^^ It's ok Dooley doesn't have to go in the dungeon. The tray was just outside. dunno what the dungeon's for. you knoe, we never had our dore chocolate today. let's have a look in the Log Book shall we, and see what Snatter met today! Snatter still doesn't seem to have arrived, so I bet he met someone today! Todays chocolate are little hoops look, and if you eat them they go "duddlinng!" I wonder if they are duddle hoops! thats nice! here you go, pass those round for me Well according to Snatter's log today, he didn't actually meet any people. Instead, he just found a weird glowing box that he didn't know what it was!  And it said "Punch me!" on it! which Snatter thought was very funny, so he did a big smile, and he gave it a friendly punch - and it burst open! And out came RICHES! That's good isn't it! Snatter now richer. Good going, Snatter! O! Speaking of duddle hoops, I wonder what hoops our friend Duddles has had to jump thrue (i mean metaphorickly, like hurdles and obstancles and puzzles etc) in order to... I forgot my sentence. start again. I wonder whether Duddles has reached the end of his journey across the icy wastes with his three little elfy friends! And what hazards and adventures have he and his intrepid pals Honka Boog and Vout faced across the boundless snowes?  Oh dear! Duddles seems to have been captured by a big totem penguin robot of some sort or something? How will his friends help him? They'll have to work together! ...Actually, it looks a bit complicated, and for girls. I dunnoe if I can be bothered with that. let's put BODY BLOWS on instead it goe COME ON in a girl voice! and BUSH BUSH BUSH - boop buup beep! come on! Puzzle fans pay attention, solving this screen will be the basis of an omnompetition at the end, and there'll be an actual prize and everything, so don't forget to come back after Christmas even though the story's finished! Keep your guesses to yourself for now though, because there's stuff I haven't told you about it yet. Also, you can CLICK FOR BIG! Buml0r fucked around with this message at 02:35 on Dec 13, 2009 |
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Dec 13, 2009 02:10
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^^^ I dunno, what was him name?
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Dec 13, 2009 15:36
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Helloe friends. So, our little Elfs are off on different adventures of their owne at this point. Duddles is exploring the frozen wastelands looking for the Antisnatter, and today he's reached the end of his journey! I suppose that means the Snat-Nav worked after all! What good can a little elf like Duddles possibly do against the Antisnatter tho? Well, apparently none. Because when he see what he find there, his little face go "gosh!"  And he run away! Back to the Workshop! Like a scaredy little elf!! Meanwhile, BONNNG, Dooley is back in normal time again. I think things just pause every night at the Tray Guard's house. So here he is again peering at Her Maj's Tea Service. "Your... Maj?" say Dooley to it. "What are you up to?" go Tray Guard. "I'm trying to consult the witch that's been imprisoned in here." "Oh that's easy," say Tray Guard. "You have to run your finger round the rim of the cups so they make a music sound and once you've played them all you'll be able to talk to her." "Does that work with silver cups?" "Nope, but I will now tell you the reason why it works with these particular silver cups: nah can't be bothered." Dooley run his fingers round the cups and they make musickey sounds. AND SUDDENLY  "Aahhhh!!! After ten thousand years I'm FREE!!!" oh NO Dooley you IDIOT!! That isn't just ANY old Witch!! That's PANDORA! THE WORST WITCH WHO EVER LIVED!! Remember a couple of years ago, the Antisnatter's first act as Antisnatter as far as we know was to deliver a gigantic present, that hung over Elf School and gradually opened, and inside it was actually some sort of hellportal to an awful alternate dimension, and MECHA SNATTER came out and he tried to destroy everything??? Well that was PANDORA'S PRESENT!! This is Pandora!! Oh WELL DONE, DOOLEY, THANKS VERY MUCH. She's going to RUIN EVERYTHING OH NO!!! "Ooh," go Tray Guard. "Nasty!" SHUSH TRAY GUARD THIS IS SERIOUS. oh NO. I'm really frittered up at this point, I'm going to need to calm down. GNNH! That's SO ANNOYING I can't believe Pandora's free! What's going to happen to us now?? Ok, I'm going to calm down by reading another Snatter adventurebit. Let's see. Ok, well the chocolate is in the shape of a cauliflower today, which doesn't seem massively appetising but whut-evvurrrr. Well, that's a very nice one then. According to Snatter's Log Book, he met a chef who cooked him a lovely hearty meal! Some of the veg was apparently too hot for his mouth, but apart from that it was very nice.  Glad someone's having a good time, I mean, PANDORA? come ON dooley. Buml0r fucked around with this message at 23:14 on Dec 13, 2009 |
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Dec 13, 2009 23:10
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LOG ENTRY As our journey back to the Workshop reaches its conclusion, we are able to see the emptiness around us resolve into tangible shapes and patterns for the first time in days. We are nearly home. Perhaps it's the effect of the journey, or perhaps it's the influence of my own frightened subconscious mind, but I find it difficult to remember exactly what it will look like when we arrive. Either way, we have to press on. They need us: we know what is coming, and we know that they are still being fed with lies.
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Dec 14, 2009 10:35
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What? Well I certainly hoep not, that would be an outrage! I'll keep my eyes pealed for any sign of fake chocolate m80s. don't worry, I noe pretend chocolate when I see it. (it say made in america on it MOHH OMLO)
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Dec 14, 2009 12:03
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^^^ With what? Her log book's here! maybe she can use snatters if he can find her
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Dec 14, 2009 13:30
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guise, it's the north pole. of course the blizzard's unpleasant. Oh dear m8s, I was wandering about in the Workshop just seeing what's what and keeping an eye on those clever little elfs, and HU SHOULD I SPY! Poor old Pilky, that's hu, and he's completely worn out! Salteye doesn't noe what to do, he's just run down and unable to move! "Arr, what be the matter boy?" Salteye ask. "It's me boiler. It's run down, I keep tellin' yer," say Pilky. "Well we'll get a man in. Come on, let's go and get some lunch." "I can't!" Pilky protest. "Me boiler's completely dead!" So he just stand there, forlornly, quietly humming all along the watchtower to himself. Salteye frown. him remembering something. and suddenly OMGGGGGG!!! go Salteye! Because now he remember! He isn't Pilky's father at all! Nobody is! All that stuff about the typhoon and the mum were just stories he'd been telling his shipmates because he knew they wouldn't understand the truth: he BUILT Pilky! Pilky is a robot! But all the grog and the fact that the stories were much more plausible than the reality made him forget they were made up! See, Salteye used to be a clever dude, and was head of a project to build a mechanical baby! This is hundreds of years ago so he runs on steam boiler and clockwork, and when he thinks the noise in his head is like "week brrk brrr plrr" like sound effects from one of those old films when it pans past a science lab. But he was actually really cutting edge! When they cut funding to the robot baby project, Salteye he was forced to abandon the robot baby (he put him in a wheely bin, that's what he does to ppl he's sick of). The wheely bin was on an estate and Pilky grew up there as a result. He's older now, and have less hair (than when he was a baby, hehe), and him got a head like a clockwork orange - but apart from that he's the same old robot Pilky! Or, to give him him full model name, The Little Karley Pilkoid.  "Oeee Pilky, moi long lost project!" go Salteye. "Don't ye worry, Oi'll fix yer boiler! Oi'll fix it misself!!" So that's a happy ending for Salteye and Pilky, reunited at last! Hurray! Oh great, everything's going really well then. EXCEPT THAT STUPID DOOLEY HAS FREED PANDORA, A FRIGHTENING WITCH! Actually... do you noe what she's done m80s and m8resses? YEah! She's set off straight away across the icy plains towards the fortified igloo, where Zordon lives! YES! She's so NASTY!! And she - oe, hello White Ninjer. White Ninjer im here, he's just sort of wandering about seeing if there's anybody to help! He's gr8 isn't he? With his white sleek clothes. Good old white ninja. So yeah, anyway, on the way out, who should EVIL WITCH Pandora encounter but Snatter and Rose, trundling along in the Slé with our pal M8s! What a happy team they are... hang on though, if she saw them on the way out, that must mean they're nearly here! What's this! Has Snatter got past all those obstacles and found his way home to the Workshop already? Well he's not here yet, and now he has something new to contend with! Pandora has unleashed two of her meanest nastiest henchmen on Snatter so he can't stop her from getting to Zordon! Let's read the Log Book and see what Snatter says about it! There! See! Oh here, have a chocolate, it's of a teddy bear, that's nice, but look! Mean nasty henchmen of Pandora's. They are called Bulk and Skull.  O well, er, actually they're maybe not such mean nasty henchmen, because they're actually having a nice time with Snatter. So that's good, they're friends now. So. BUT PANDORA THOUGH, she's heading off towards Zordon, and he's in for it when she arrives! Oh man. Oe! mohhhhh mohhhh ohohoho sorry m80s I just saw something really funny. The White Ninjer just wiggled he completely out of nowhere. hehehe he was just standing there and then he wiggled in a really, really funny way. not even in a normal way, it was just like, stand, stand, WIGGLE.  bohhhh. ok I feel a bit better now about Pandora. But STILL! Buml0r fucked around with this message at 00:24 on Dec 15, 2009 |
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Dec 15, 2009 00:19
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CrackSpider posted:I don't like the looks of that wigglin', m8s! I think something's wrong Noe it's really funy! hehehe!oh all right you win - i thought you might not like that very much, because sometimes ppl can be so cineckle! Thing is, he's been round the place wiggling he quite a lot and I didn't mention it, because it just made me giggle and I thought you might think it was a bit unfunny and freaky, on account of you sometimes finding yourselves being a lot of old wet blankets and girls blouses. but it actually very funny and i like it. White Christmas Ninja will be there walking about the place right, and then woooooooggle wiggle wiggle! he's off! wiggling and woogling! yeah, that's more like what he does. Woogle He. like wiggle he but with a sort of woogly undulation to it, look it's just really, really funny. he's well wick. STOP MAKING SENSE posted:noe he just a silly ninjer m8os no worries! hehe, I thought you'd not be weirded by his woogling he, due to you doing it as well look. that's almost exactly it Oxygen Deficiency posted:NOM NOM it's really nommo isn't it. funny thing is it tastes like-a-piece-of-breeaad
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Dec 15, 2009 02:25
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Hi all, just popping in to tell you that the Christmas cards are now available, in a very real I've-got-them-on-the-desk sense. They're nice and big, and currently they come in three designs: the Spirit of Christmas manifesting outside the grotto (full first pic from day 1 this year), the Christmas Ninjas all popping out at you from day 4, the Traditional Snatavity Scene (the first pic from last year or, if you're more familiar with this year's Story So Far song/video it's the lingering shot at about two and a half minutes, "As it happens, this one's picture was the famous scene of Santa Claus' birth") and Snatter posing on Rudolph from last year, the one where Rudolph's rearing up and Snatter's brandishing his sword behind him in a Linkesque sort of a way. Those are the designs we actually have currently, but we can get them printed on a next-day basis, so if you'd like to give someone a Christmas card of any image from any of these threads just let me know and you can have it. (Bear in mind years 1 and 2 were presented 1:1, they are MSPaint style pixellated images and will print just the way they looked on screen, but everything from last year or this comes from a very high res original that will print without any pixellation at all.) High quality prints are also available, and you'll find all of that, and two issues of my comic, in the SA Mart thread HERE! EDIT - if you're TheCrimsonCricket or Theglavwen, I've now replied to you about your orders in the thread, so have a look. Buml0r fucked around with this message at 11:09 on Dec 15, 2009 |
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Dec 15, 2009 10:32
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