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Kalman
Jan 17, 2010

USPOL May

nm posted:

You need a lawyer yesterday.

And also to probably delete all of that text.

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T-Abyss
Sep 5, 2020


Okay - done that. But I don't have the money to talk to a lawyer. Your reaction tells me to not mention why I know about the existence of all of this and just talk about the other people that aren't me and ignore any questions about my presence in all of this.

euphronius
Feb 18, 2009






Applying statute of limitations to a set of facts is legal analysis

EwokEntourage
Jun 10, 2008

BREYER: Actually, Antonin, you got it backwards. See, a power bottom is actually generating all the dissents by doing most of the work.

SCALIA: Stephen, I've heard that speed has something to do with it.

BREYER: Speed has everything to do with it.


https://moritzlaw.osu.edu/clinics/criminal-defense-clinic/

give one of these kids the chance of a lifetime

when you go into witsec see if you can get put somewhere nice, don't let those assholes send you to Tucson Arizona

Whitlam
Aug 2, 2014

Some goons overreact. Go figure.


T-Abyss posted:

Okay - done that. But I don't have the money to talk to a lawyer. Your reaction tells me to not mention why I know about the existence of all of this and just talk about the other people that aren't me and ignore any questions about my presence in all of this.

Your presence in all of this will absolutely come up, sooner or later, FYI. Probably sooner. You should look into legal aid or similar services in your area.

euphronius
Feb 18, 2009






In many states lawyers called Public Defenders also exist

Nonexistence
Jan 6, 2014


Also the cost of doing nothing here is literal death, make some phone calls

Devor
Nov 30, 2004
Lurking more.

What's the polite way of asking a hypothetical client if they have been prescribed medications, and if they are indeed taking those medications.

euphronius
Feb 18, 2009






Say itís an interrogatory from the other side

nm
Jan 28, 2008

"I saw Minos the Space Judge holding a golden sceptre and passing sentence upon the Martians. There he presided, and around him the noble Space Prosecutors sought the firm justice of space law."

Devor posted:

What's the polite way of asking a hypothetical client if they have been prescribed medications, and if they are indeed taking those medications.

As a public defender, we had a form. It included this question, so I just told them it was on the form and I had to ask it.

Hieronymous Alloy
Jan 30, 2009


Why! Why!! Why must you refuse to accept that Dr. Hieronymous Alloy's Genetically Enhanced Cream Corn Is Superior to the Leading Brand on the Market!?!



Morbid Hound

Devor posted:

What's the polite way of asking a hypothetical client if they have been prescribed medications, and if they are indeed taking those medications.

Ok, I'm going to ask you some questions about medical stuff. I'm not asking you if you agree with it, you can disagree with your doctor and that's fine, but to help you out I need to know the lay of the land. Has a doctor ever given you a mental health diagnosis? Have they told you what that was? Do you remember what it was? Did they prescribe you anything? If the jail did a test on you would it come back that you'd been taking those prescriptions or not?


Basically don't frame it as you asking, frame it as these questions are gonna get asked and you need to know the answers. Don't challenge delusions directly, roll with them and yes-and.

Hieronymous Alloy fucked around with this message at 19:05 on Mar 31, 2021

Discendo Vox
Mar 21, 2013


The above also applies to moderation of forums.

ChocNitty
Aug 3, 2011


Is it kosher for me to tell my lawyer that if he can get my case dismissed that iíll give him a very nice tip?

Phil Moscowitz
Feb 19, 2007

Chief Justice of the United States of Anime



Donít see why not, as long as you follow through

Dead Reckoning
Sep 13, 2011


ChocNitty posted:

Is it kosher for me to tell my lawyer that if he can get my case dismissed that iíll give him a very nice tip?
15% is traditional if the prosecutor attempts to get him disbarred in retaliation.

Devor
Nov 30, 2004
Lurking more.

ChocNitty posted:

Is it kosher for me to tell my lawyer that if he can get my case dismissed that iíll give him a very nice tip?

Just make sure you put "retainer" in the memo line so the lawyer knows he gets to retain it

VanSandman
Feb 16, 2011
SWAP.AVI EXCHANGER

What are some lesser known ways a client can gently caress up a lawyers day? Obviously lying or leaving out facts is pretty common, but are there some things clients do that make you scream?

Hieronymous Alloy
Jan 30, 2009


Why! Why!! Why must you refuse to accept that Dr. Hieronymous Alloy's Genetically Enhanced Cream Corn Is Superior to the Leading Brand on the Market!?!



Morbid Hound

VanSandman posted:

What are some lesser known ways a client can gently caress up a lawyers day? Obviously lying or leaving out facts is pretty common, but are there some things clients do that make you scream?

SO many different things make me scream

The most general frustration is missing court dates or appointments. Lying isn't necessarily a surprise, but a missed hour is a missed hour I could have used for something else.

blarzgh
Apr 14, 2009

SNITCHIN' RANDY


Grimey Drawer

VanSandman posted:

What are some lesser known ways a client can gently caress up a lawyers day? Obviously lying or leaving out facts is pretty common, but are there some things clients do that make you scream?

Most of my clients' problems are a direct result of them coming to me months after they should have.

An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.

The two things that clients do that actually drive me nuts (and this isn't very common)

1) clients that call all the time with little, inconsequential questions, or call and ask, "why are we doing it this way?". The ones who need their hands held ultimately don't trust the representation, and that's always a problem and annoying.

2) during settlement negotiations, when we get down to the wire and we basically have a deal and they they're like, "Oh, and One More Thing...". FUUUCK YOUUUU

Organza Quiz
Nov 7, 2009




blarzgh posted:

Most of my clients' problems are a direct result of them coming to me months after they should have.

An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.

The two things that clients do that actually drive me nuts (and this isn't very common)

1) clients that call all the time with little, inconsequential questions, or call and ask, "why are we doing it this way?". The ones who need their hands held ultimately don't trust the representation, and that's always a problem and annoying.

2) during settlement negotiations, when we get down to the wire and we basically have a deal and they they're like, "Oh, and One More Thing...". FUUUCK YOUUUU

All of this, except the questions are common for me.

Also clients who go look stuff up online (especially in loving forums, yes I'm aware of the irony) and then email me every other week asking about the thing they read online even though they are paying me to be the expert in what's going on and what they should do. This might be specific to migration where there are entire forums *full* of people spouting half-right-at-best things at each other and clients who have very long waits for outcomes feel the need to go on those forums to feel like they have some sort of control over the process.

EwokEntourage
Jun 10, 2008

BREYER: Actually, Antonin, you got it backwards. See, a power bottom is actually generating all the dissents by doing most of the work.

SCALIA: Stephen, I've heard that speed has something to do with it.

BREYER: Speed has everything to do with it.


In house counsel that wants to draft pleadings but doesnít want to pay me to fix them before filing it. Iím not gonna sign off on all these made up affirmative defenses in federal court

Harold Fjord
Jan 3, 2004



EwokEntourage posted:

In house counsel that wants to draft pleadings but doesn’t want to pay me to fix them before filing it. I’m not gonna sign off on all these made up affirmative defenses in federal court

Lawyers come up with some really specious bullshit, it can be impressive.

Hieronymous Alloy
Jan 30, 2009


Why! Why!! Why must you refuse to accept that Dr. Hieronymous Alloy's Genetically Enhanced Cream Corn Is Superior to the Leading Brand on the Market!?!



Morbid Hound

In house counsel seems like a sweet gig. Do day to day poo poo every day and if it ever gets complicated just hire outside counsel to handle it .

Harold Fjord
Jan 3, 2004



Imagine paying other lawyers to consult when there's all these free forums everywhere

blarzgh
Apr 14, 2009

SNITCHIN' RANDY


Grimey Drawer

EwokEntourage posted:

In house counsel that wants to draft pleadings but doesnít want to pay me to fix them before filing it. Iím not gonna sign off on all these made up affirmative defenses in federal court

Oh my god gently caress right off.


Hieronymous Alloy posted:

In house counsel seems like a sweet gig. Do day to day poo poo every day and if it ever gets complicated just hire outside counsel to handle it .

I've often wonder what else they do all day besides keep a list of lawsuits on one side of their desk and a list of lawyers on the other and just make phone calls to check on the status of each.

blarzgh
Apr 14, 2009

SNITCHIN' RANDY


Grimey Drawer

EwokEntourage posted:

In house counsel that wants to draft pleadings but doesnít want to pay me to fix them before filing it. Iím not gonna sign off on all these made up affirmative defenses in federal court

I had a consult once (surprised I haven't had more of these over the years, actually) where the client sat down and started explaining the lawsuit to me, and what REALLY happened, and what arguments he needed me to make, and how he was going to save money in hiring me because he would draft everything, and I could just sign off on it and then he would file it.

I said something to the effect of, "First off, you will not find an attorney who will agree to this arrangement you've dreamed up. If you do, that is the number one reason why you should not hire that lawyer. You have spent a lot of mental energy convincing yourself that this legal process is going to work how you want it to, and I need you to know before you leave this office, because I will not represent you under any circumstances, that you are 100% wrong about it and you need to face some hard realities, or you're going to face even harsher consequences."

I do remember his exact words back to me, however: "Well I guess you're not the lawyer for me." lol

toplitzin
Jun 13, 2003


Our in house legal team makes bad rap videos about "Being Candid"

FrozenVent
May 1, 2009

The Boeing 737-200QC is the undisputed workhorse of the skies.

Harold Fjord posted:

Lawyers come up with some really specious bullshit, it can be impressive.

There comes a point where a guy with an MBA is really, really insistent that you use his bullshit interpretation and itís just simpler to let him have the W and go home.

Not a lawyer but a different kind of expert, and I do that waaaaaay more often than Iíd like to admit. Not at risk of losing my license though.

Cosa Nostra Aetate
Jan 1, 2019


In house counsel mostly exists for managing outside legal engagements and having enough knowledge to do legal triage to figure out what outside firm to engage, but in my experience they also:
* Hang out and make a lot of water cooler small talk all day. Far and away the biggest gossips
* Reply to all emails, even ones like 'we are ordering lunch, do you want any' with 'please call me'
* Lead negotiations of any kind with vendors or customers because otherwise we'd find ways to commit crimes buying a staple

blarzgh
Apr 14, 2009

SNITCHIN' RANDY


Grimey Drawer

Cosa Nostra Aetate posted:

In house counsel mostly exists for managing outside legal engagements and having enough knowledge to do legal triage to figure out what outside firm to engage, but in my experience they also:
* Hang out and make a lot of water cooler small talk all day. Far and away the biggest gossips
* Reply to all emails, even ones like 'we are ordering lunch, do you want any' with 'please call me'
* Lead negotiations of any kind with vendors or customers because otherwise we'd find ways to commit crimes buying a staple

Are they hiring

Sharks Eat Bear
Dec 25, 2004

Ain't got half a what you thought you had

Cosa Nostra Aetate posted:

* Reply to all emails, even ones like 'we are ordering lunch, do you want any' with 'please call me'

lol

euphronius
Feb 18, 2009






blarzgh posted:

Oh my god gently caress right off.


I've often wonder what else they do all day besides keep a list of lawsuits on one side of their desk and a list of lawyers on the other and just make phone calls to check on the status of each.

They have to write disclosures for SEC filings

Thatís about it

euphronius
Feb 18, 2009






In house counsel also coordinates discovery responses which is a big deal. Oh and also during mergers and poo poo they have to do a lot during due diligence

The due diligence stuff is actual work. So is the the discovery stuff

euphronius
Feb 18, 2009






Also coordinate the companies regulatory compliance which is a huge undertaking .

Motronic
Nov 6, 2009


MOTRONIC FOR MODERATOR, MAKE AI GREAT AGAIN


Grimey Drawer

euphronius posted:

Also coordinate the companies regulatory compliance which is a huge undertaking .

Out lead in house at my last company was doing more work than most of us when we were dealing with being GDPR compliant. I don't envy her.

blarzgh
Apr 14, 2009

SNITCHIN' RANDY


Grimey Drawer

euphronius posted:

Also coordinate the companies regulatory compliance which is a huge undertaking .


euphronius posted:

In house counsel also coordinates discovery responses which is a big deal. Oh and also during mergers and poo poo they have to do a lot during due diligence

The due diligence stuff is actual work. So is the the discovery stuff

Well that all sounds awful

Volmarias
Dec 31, 2002


Cosa Nostra Aetate posted:

* Reply to all emails, even ones like 'we are ordering lunch, do you want any' with 'please call me'

[PRIVILEGED AND CONFIDENTIAL] My hoagie order and preferred sides

Dik Hz
Feb 22, 2004

Fun with Science



Volmarias posted:

[PRIVILEGED AND CONFIDENTIAL] My hoagie order and preferred sides
*Asks 10 clarifying questions about the lunch menu.
*Phrases order in a way that you can't tell what they actually want for lunch.

Dawncloack
Nov 26, 2007
ECKS DEE!

Nap Ghost

Friend of mine just died. I used to live in a flat of his, took care of the post, will probably have to organize the cleanout of said flat.

I hear he was stranged from his first family (divored wife + kids), but to me that's just a rumor.

He was divorced of his second wife (+ a tween and a stepdaugther).

This second wife (who lives in a different country) contacted me and told me that a certain guy where I live wanted to contact me.

I have contacted him, he's not a lawyer, more of an accountant/finamce person. I asked him if he was the executor and I am waiting to hear from him. In his first email he said something along the lines of "I am waiting for an official document but please tell me of the heirs you know so we can speed things up".

I am not asking for a detailed assessment unless someone happens to bean Austrian inheritance lawyer. Just in general terms: what are my obligations here? Should I bring up what I've heard about a first family, that I know nothing about?

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Harold Fjord
Jan 3, 2004



Probably should mention it, sounds like the right thing to do even if it's a red herring. They may or may not be entitled to a portion of whatever he had, but they might never get a chance (or just have a big weird legal headache) if you don't.

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