Legal Questions: do not communicate with the demon at all except through your genie

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Ask/Tell > Legal Questions: do not communicate with the demon at all except through your genie

GamingHyena: Jul 25, 2003; Devil's Advocate

JudicialRestraints posted:

For laughs sake, could he get diversity on this?

Nope, he's about $74,826 short of diversity jurisdiction.

entris posted:

And even if she defends in Florida, and he wins, he still has to get his judgment lien attached to some of her assets. Although I guess if she shows up in person, the judge could make her write out a check or something. But who is stupid enough to fly down to Florida to defend a $175 suit?

The judge isn't going to force the defendant to write a check to the plaintiff at the conclusion of the trial (what if she wanted to appeal?) - the court isn't a collection agency. He'd have to send out post-judgment discovery to determine what non-exempt assets she had and then attempt to collect from them.*

*Not licensed in New Jersey or Florida, but that's what we'd have to do in my state.

TheBestDeception posted:

BTW I could probably find a lawyer who would work for 33% of the recovery + fees.

Hutz: Mr. Simpson, I was just going through your garbage, and I couldn't help overhearing that you need a babysitter. Of course, being a highly-skilled attorney, my fee is $175 an hour.
Homer: We pay eight dollars for the night, and you can take two popsicles out of the freezer.
Hutz: Three.
Homer: Two.
Hutz: OK, two. And I get to keep this old bird cage.
Homer: Done!
Hutz: [proudly] Still got it.

# ¿ Feb 18, 2010 03:28

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ¿ Apr 25, 2024 06:27

GamingHyena: Jul 25, 2003; Devil's Advocate

Why not just have the poker game at your house?

# ¿ Apr 11, 2010 23:36

GamingHyena: Jul 25, 2003; Devil's Advocate

daveincognito posted:

There are two problems: I can't get another job until this is sorted out, and the next hearing is scheduled for July. I'm dealing with a short timeframe.

How will rescinding the deal speed anything up? Instead of settling the case before the hearing, you're virtually guaranteed to have to wait for your July hearing date.

# ¿ Jun 8, 2010 00:57

GamingHyena: Jul 25, 2003; Devil's Advocate

TheBestDeception posted:

PS he mainly argues that you shouldn't talk to the police when you are a suspect, NOT "under no circumstances." Also, lol at his TTT "credentials."

Actually he does say he won't talk to a police officer "under any circumstances" 30 seconds into the video.

# ¿ Aug 3, 2010 01:07

GamingHyena: Jul 25, 2003; Devil's Advocate

Tab8715 posted:

I live in a town less than 100k, word of mouth, connections is what gets you a job and with the economy the way it is they're aren't many of them. And being out of work for a year, unable to find employment - I think I've got a reason to be upset at least, though - as you said - I'm not sure if I've got a legal case. Though, it strikes me as strange as if someone can talk about something as this and get a away with it?

Granted, I don't know positively that I've lost anything to due to them saying I was fired but how would I even know? Isn't it quite unlikely I'd found out? Would any company care to begin with since they've already hired someone for that position? Do they have even a legal obligation to respond to my requests?

If you're not even sure they harmed you, why sue in the first place?

# ¿ Aug 8, 2010 21:30

GamingHyena: Jul 25, 2003; Devil's Advocate

Nether Postlude posted:

Our landlords are being foreclosed on for the condo that we rent from them (Chicago area). We found this out today when a man dropped off some paperwork to serve notice ("Mortgage Foreclosure Alias Summons"). We looked through the papers and lo and behold, our landlords haven't paid rent on this place since December 2009. We moved in January 2010 and had no idea they were not paying their bills. They have an outstanding principal of over $215,000 on this property.

We have a lease signed with them until the end of December of this year. We plan to call the bank that holds the mortgage and the sheriff's department to find out where we stand in this situation. Is there anything else we should do?

You should read up on the Protecting Tenants at Foreclosure Act of 2009, a federal law that protects bona fide tenants when the landlord defaults on his mortgage. It was originally set to expire in 2012 but Congress recently extended it until 2014. Unfortunately, it is not uncommon for banks and their attorneys to send ambiguously worded notices to vacate that mislead tenants into giving up their rights to stay (and allowing the banks to sell the property quicker).

# ¿ Sep 19, 2010 03:32

GamingHyena: Jul 25, 2003; Devil's Advocate

commish posted:

This is exactly what they want everyone to think. There are companies out there who do nothing but send demand letters like this and hope everyone has the same thought process as you. I still think it's bs and I'd wait for them to serve me. I've sent out and received many demand letters in my day, and the actual chance of litigation is pretty drat low. If I received a demand letter from a divorce lawyer working in his own practice, I'd tell him to go gently caress himself. You really think this divorce lawyer is going to take anyone to trial over a copyright dispute?

Think about the client he represents. The client couldn't even afford to hire a real IP attorney or a real litigator. You think this same client is going to pay for this trial? Unlikely.

And this is why a legal questions thread where anyone can reply is no substitute for a lawyer.

Uh, this isn't some emailed demand letter for a bajillion dollars from random guy on the Internet. This is actual suit that has already been filed in federal court against the poster. Serving someone (especially if you know their address) is trivial.

I haven't looked it up on PACER, but Googling the OP's cause number brings up this petition:
http://www.zeropaid.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/09/lightspeed_v_does.pdf

It doesn't matter if the Plaintiff retained Lionel Hutz to represent them, if the Defendant doesn't take certain steps in a lawsuit he can lose the case before they even get to a trial. The OP absolutely needs to talk to a lawyer ASAP.

# ¿ Nov 2, 2010 19:47

GamingHyena: Jul 25, 2003; Devil's Advocate

The SituAsian posted:

I recently got a PACER account in order to do some research and since then I've been looking around just because. I'm just curious why when I click on some documents I get a "You do not have permission to view this document." and if it's an error in the system or by design.

You know it cost 8 cents a page to view a document, right?

# ¿ Dec 7, 2010 03:10

GamingHyena: Jul 25, 2003; Devil's Advocate

Konstantin posted:

Here is an interesting hypothetical question. In another thread, this was posted:

If the owner was to stop paying on the credit cards, how would the company try to get the money back? Can you sue a dog? Assuming that the owner was 100% truthful on all the forms, and used the classic "paw print" signature, would he still be liable for fraud? I'm willing to bet that before the bubble burst the dog would probably have been able to get a NINA loan as well.

Well, for starters the dog did not get a credit card. The dog's owner got a credit card when the dog's owner filled out a credit card application using a bunch of bogus information. The fact that he used his dog's correct information is irrelevant (and almost certainly untrue - what dog has a social security number?) since, again, the dog's owner is the one filling out the application for credit. So yes, the dog's owner could run into some civil or criminal sanctions for identity fraud just as if they had made up someone's identity or used a dead person's ID.

Finally, even if a credit card company was stupid enough to issue a credit card in the dog's name with no social security number, jury lists are normally generated using a list of driver's licenses / voter registrations, NOT credit card users. Did the dog get a state issued ID as well (again, with no social security number)? The most likely answer is that the poster either engaged in some rather elaborate identity fraud or is full of poo poo.

# ¿ Feb 6, 2011 22:42

GamingHyena: Jul 25, 2003; Devil's Advocate

Dramatika posted:

Is there a free way to get a copy of my criminal record? I completed deferred adjudication for a misdemeanor drug offense back in 2005, and I need to see if I can get the arrest sealed as well, or if it even shows up.

I'm in Texas, by the way.

You can get your criminal record from DPS here, but a deferred adjudication doesn't automatically fall off your record. You may be eligible for an order of nondisclosure which will limit who can see your offense, but you'll have to file a petition for nondisclosure.

# ¿ Mar 31, 2011 01:47

GamingHyena: Jul 25, 2003; Devil's Advocate

woozle wuzzle posted:

You don't need a contract, but there has to be the start of an attorney/client relationship. After thinking about this topic and our discussion regarding a disclaimer, I pose the following question to "The All New Legal Questions Mega-O-Wamma" sea of attorneys:

Suppose I setup a "free legal advice" gloryhole. Anyone can come for anonymous, casual legal advice. I sit on one side of a stall, and people file in and ask their legal questions. It's all anonymous, and the people never use their names or identifying information. I don't provide my name, and am extremely careful to avoid the tiny details that would identify me. But when giving my advice, I make no special disclaimers. I am directly giving legal advice, but that's it and there's zero discussion of future services.

Is it possible for any of my patrons to claim an attorney/client relationship? Assume any jurisdiction you want. In Virginia, I believe the answer would be: No, it is not possible for any patron to claim an attorney/relationship. I also don't believe I'd have liability unless I lie, breach confidentiality, somehow fall into a conflict, etc.

Why would you not have an attorney-client relationship? You start off representing that you're going to provide them a legal service (free legal advice). Then, you listen to information about their legal issues and dispense advice based on their specific situations in a setting that creates the expectation of confidentiality. The fact that you don't have enough information about them to perform a conflict check or a plan to provide future legal services is irrelevant.

If you don't think they're your clients or potential clients, why would you get in trouble for breaching their confidentiality or for a conflict of interest? If they're not your clients, then what are they?

# ¿ Jul 25, 2012 06:16

GamingHyena: Jul 25, 2003; Devil's Advocate

joat mon posted:

Represent the whorehouse and not the prostitute and you're good.

Well there goes my dream of sleeping with Habitat for Humanity or Doctors without Borders

# ¿ Jul 28, 2012 17:51

GamingHyena: Jul 25, 2003; Devil's Advocate

CaptainScraps posted:

You NEED a lawyer. That's a ridiculous bargain. You shouldn't even be looking at any jailtime. I know someone driving down the wrong side of the highway while drunk and THEY didn't get jailtime.

The offer is probably 180 days probated for 6 months rather than 180 days + 6 months of probation. In other words, 6 months of probation and if you screw up then up to 180 days of jail (which leads me to believe this is a DWI first).

However, this is all speculation since as you pointed out kriminal needs to quit listening to the Internet and GET A LAWYER.

# ¿ Aug 14, 2012 05:48

GamingHyena: Jul 25, 2003; Devil's Advocate

_areaman posted:

The criticism makes sense, but the whole point of this and any business is to be honest and trustworthy though the business's actions. The payments will only be as traceable as the customer allows, because we will only accept bitcoins. Revenue will be logged, but dates and times of transactions will be stored generally ("The week of July 1..."), and customer information will not be stored. We have a system developed for warranties and returns.

This is a unique business model, an experiment, and it will be selling to people who care deeply about their privacy. It could fail, and that's fine. I am taking a contrarian view on normal ecommerce practices, and think a subset of the population will be interested in a radically different model.

My concerns are if wiping customer information is a problem. Apparently it's not.

"WE WILL DESTROY ANY EVIDENCE OF THIS TRANSACTION!" is right up there with "NO VISIBLE HUMAN MEAT IN PRODUCT!" in terms of guarantees only sketchy businesses would ever need to give. Now I'm sure you're just an honest and trustworthy businessman probably selling Pop Tarts and oatmeal online and are just trying to corner that lucrative privacy-oriented breakfast market, but your lack of records can come back to haunt you in case you should ever need to fight money laundering charges or IRS tax audits. Also, should law enforcement ever launch an investigation into you sending delicious breakfast treats across state lines, you could face additional charges of tampering or destroying evidence.

GamingHyena fucked around with this message at 23:45 on Aug 4, 2016

# ¿ Aug 4, 2016 23:43

GamingHyena: Jul 25, 2003; Devil's Advocate

Florida Betty posted:

Is it suspicious if a lawyer doesn't have malpractice insurance? I mean, if I knew someone didn't have car insurance (I live in a state where it's not required) I would assume they're an extremely terrible driver and they've been in so many accidents that they couldn't afford the premiums anymore, but I don't know if the situations are really comparable.

There are several reasons an attorney may not have malpractice insurance*. It's possible that an attorney may have so many bar complaints / malpractice suits that no insurer will touch them. It's possible that the attorney is so broke that he doesn't care about getting sued because he knows he'll never have to pay the judgment. However, from what I've seen most attorneys that don't have malpractice insurance don't have it because they either practice in an area of law that historically has a low chance of getting a malpractice suit, or think they do a good enough job papering the file that they aren't worried about it.

If I were in private practice I'd probably have malpractice insurance. However, if I were in the market for an attorney I wouldn't reject an otherwise qualified attorney just because they didn't have malpractice insurance.

*Assuming you live in a state that doesn't not require attorneys to carry malpractice insurance.

# ¿ Aug 25, 2016 02:07

GamingHyena: Jul 25, 2003; Devil's Advocate

evilweasel posted:

I think it varies from state to state, irritatingly, but yeah there is a standard form for this. "Is there anything else you'd like to tell the jury" or something similar, because you can't be a part of eliciting the testimony.

In some states (Texas) the attorney is obligated to narc on his client.

Comment on Rule 3.03 - Candor Towards the Tribunal posted:

11. Three resolutions of this dilemma have been proposed. One is to permit the accused to testify by a
narrative without guidance through the lawyer's questioning. This compromises both contending
principles; it exempts the lawyer from the duty to disclose false evidence but subjects the client to an
implicit disclosure of information imparted to counsel. Another suggested resolution is that the
advocate be entirely excused from the duty to reveal perjury if the perjury is that of the client. This
solution, however, makes the advocate a knowing instrument of perjury

12. The other resolution of the dilemma, and the one this Rule adopts, is that the lawyer must take
reasonable remedial measure which may include revealing the client's perjury. A criminal accused has a
right to the assistance of an advocate, a right to testify and a right of confidential communication with
counsel. However, an accused should not have a right to assistance of counsel in committing perjury.
Furthermore, an advocate has an obligation, not only in professional ethics but under the law as well, to
avoid implication in the commission of perjury or other falsification of evidence.

# ¿ Jan 17, 2017 03:15

GamingHyena: Jul 25, 2003; Devil's Advocate

If you believe a crime has occurred, then call the police. Otherwise, let it go. There is no legal way to passive-aggressively impersonate someone online with the intent to disparage them because of some real or perceived slight he may have done to someone else.

# ¿ Mar 11, 2017 07:02

GamingHyena: Jul 25, 2003; Devil's Advocate

Phil Moscowitz posted:

I love that treason is punishable by death, or, maybe for those little treasons, 5 years in prison and $10,000

Like if you planned to overthrow the government of Georgia, but through a Three's Company-esque series of goofs you accidentally invaded the state instead of the country.

"Guess we're having peaches instead of borscht tonight!" *Laugh Track*

# ¿ Jul 14, 2017 23:52

GamingHyena: Jul 25, 2003; Devil's Advocate

blarzgh posted:

Since 'hammer' was taken I use the moniker, "The Socket Wrench of Justice."

"I might be a tool, but I'm the tool you need!"

poo poo, nobody take that.

# ¿ Jul 26, 2017 18:52

GamingHyena: Jul 25, 2003; Devil's Advocate

Haunta posted:

A few pages back there was some brief talk about pre-paid legal services being a scam. Why is that?

I'm looking at LegalShield for example and they say for their monthly fee, you'll have 300 hours of trial time but only 5 hours of pre-trial time. And only in civil action suits.

I can't imagine anyone ever spending 300 hours in court, especially on a civil case, so it sounds like a flashy number with no purpose. To my mind (not that I'm a lawyer), most of a lawyer's time is probably spent working on preparation/letters/whatever not actually arguing in court. So five hours for pre-trial time wouldn't cover much of anything.

Is that how these sorts of plans screw you? It's not very nice, is it?

In my opinion it covers way more hours in trial than you'd likely need and doesn't include pretrial pleadings or discovery which can make or break your case (statistically your case will settle before you even get to trial). I mean holy poo poo look the Trial Defense Services for the personal plan. To take advantage of this, you or your spouse have to be a defendant in a covered state/federal civil case. What do they exclude?

quote:

1. Defense of any criminal charge.

2. Any lawsuit involving alcohol, drugs, substance abuse, chemical abuse or dependency or the use of
medicines, whether prescribed or not, hit-and-run charges or leaving the scene of an accident.

3. Any matter against a Covered Person which arises as a result of business matters or interests (regard-
less of the form of the entity), or employment matters including:
a. Ownership, management, or association with a business, partnership, or corporate entity, or trust.
b. Any income producing property or venture regardless of the full-time or part-time nature.

4. Dependents, other than the Member's spouse, are not entitled to services under Trial Defense Services.

5. Assistance in matters relating to dissolution of marriage, separation, annulment, child custody or other
divorce or domestic related issues, to bankruptcy proceedings, including adversary proceedings, or to any
other matters for which Services are provided under other provisions of this Contract.

6. Class actions, amicus curiae filings or interventions filed in which the Covered Person is a party or
potential party.

7. Pre-existing Conditions. Pre-existing Conditions for Trial Defense Services are defined as those acts
which give rise to a lawsuit which are alleged to have occurred prior to the Effective Date, even if the law-
suit was filed after such Effective Date.

8. Any matter where, in the Professional Judgment of the Provider Attorney, a claim, defense or legal po-
sition is not likely to prevail in court. While the suit may be excluded from Trial Defense Services, the Pro-
vider Attorney may, in his/her discretion, provide assistance under the Preferred Member Discount for a
possible resolution of the matter or other services deemed appropriate.

9. Garnishment, attachment, collection, appeal or any other post judgment relief action, including any
matters or actions that must be filed in a different court for reconsideration or review and any arbitration,
mediation, administrative proceedings, or other disputes, matters and actions outside a court of law and
before a third party decision maker.

10. Counter claims where the Covered Person initiated a lawsuit.

11. Any matter where a Covered Person is acting on behalf of, or representing, another party (for example:
executor, administrator, guardian or trustee).

So you have to have a winning case as a defendant that isn't a criminal charge, bankruptcy, business dispute, contested family law case, subject to arbitration, or involve alcohol, drugs, substance abuse, chemical abuse or dependency or the use of medicines, whether prescribed or not, hit-and-run charges or leaving the scene of an accident.

What kind of case is left that the Average Joe would likely find themselves in?

The 50 hours for the IRS audit might be useful if it didn't include a whopping 1 hour of advice and 2.5 hours to negotiate. The remaining 46.5 hours are "trial time" which is useless unless you go to trial.

It does cover uncontested divorces (neither party can be represented by an attorney and everything must be settled first), simple wills/POA/MPOA, and (some) tickets so it isn't like you'd get nothing for your money. But those are all fairly cheap legal services to begin with if you're just looking for a random attorney and unlikely to be used multiple times. The 25% hourly rate discount means nothing without knowing what the hourly rate would have been otherwise.

Edit:

I'm sorry but #8 just stands out as worthy of special attention.

quote:

8. Any matter where, in the Professional Judgment of the Provider Attorney, a claim, defense or legal po-
sition is not likely to prevail in court. While the suit may be excluded from Trial Defense Services, the Pro-
vider Attorney may, in his/her discretion, provide assistance under the Preferred Member Discount for a
possible resolution of the matter or other services deemed appropriate.

#8 says that you won't get your free hours if your attorney doesn't think you're likely to win at trial. HOWEVER, you lucky dog can hire the same attorney to resolve the claim (at the extra special discount). Where's the financial incentive in this arrangement and how often do you think people are actually getting free trial hours from the service?

GamingHyena fucked around with this message at 05:08 on Oct 4, 2017

# ¿ Oct 4, 2017 04:58

GamingHyena: Jul 25, 2003; Devil's Advocate

Unload My Head posted:

...and everyday my neighbors bees trespass and steal my flowers

What would be a fair settlement amount if my neighbor doesnt want to take this to court?

A elementary school textbook on botany should be adequate consideration to avoid a lawsuit as this man clearly does not understand how pollination or bees work.

# ¿ Oct 23, 2017 05:52

GamingHyena: Jul 25, 2003; Devil's Advocate

Javid posted:

I'm sure there's some plant somewhere that will either A) kill bees or B) make their honey taste terrible and either is more likely to result in a positive resolution than trying to sue the guy.

https://www.buzzaboutbees.net/Plants-Toxic-for-Bees.html posted:

Drunken effects are noted in other cases. Bumblebees drinking the nectar of Asclepias flowers also show signs of being�.well�.sozzled (Kevan et al 1988).

Asclepias are milkweed so plant some milkweed and enjoy watching a bunch of drunk bees flying around getting into small wrecks and letting their tiny hangovers affect their work and home lives.

# ¿ Oct 23, 2017 06:16

GamingHyena: Jul 25, 2003; Devil's Advocate

blarzgh posted:

depends on how the NDA was written, what they agreed to as part of the cash settlement, and whether or not she was subpoenaed for the impact statement.

I can't speak for every state, but I've never seen a victim subpoenaed for a victim impact statement. I've seen prosecutors read victim impact statements on behalf of the victim but can't imagine why they would force a victim to give an impact statement (assuming they even had the power to do so) when it won't affect the sentence.

# ¿ Feb 2, 2018 08:24

GamingHyena: Jul 25, 2003; Devil's Advocate

CarForumPoster posted:

I don't mind the pushback on a personal level, but I suspect there's nothing to be gained from engaging. It seems like one of those times where if I dont give answers this person deems satisfactory, they get the opportunity to belittle a project I've just gotten going on, which is their real goal. Also the product is meant to help everyday people.

I'm an everyday person, average in every way. Can you tell me what a point represents in your system? I promise not to tell Discendo Vox.

# ¿ Apr 7, 2018 21:14

GamingHyena: Jul 25, 2003; Devil's Advocate

I'm the P.O. Number "69"

Hopefully this merely implies there are 68 other ladies out there who received invoices for their bad dates as well.

# ¿ Apr 13, 2018 20:48

GamingHyena: Jul 25, 2003; Devil's Advocate

FrozenVent posted:

Question for the lawyers in the thread:

As the sovereign citizen movement has gained recognition in the last few years, have you noticed a diminution in the number of gold fringed flags in courtrooms?

No, because the gold fringed flags are necessary for the secret admiralty tribunals we use once we trick people into creating joinder with the court system.

# ¿ May 13, 2018 03:23

GamingHyena: Jul 25, 2003; Devil's Advocate

Badger of Basra posted:

https://twitter.com/dallasnews/status/997607121788309505

Is an arrangement like this actually enforceable, or does it violate the CRA or something?

I don't do trusts from what I vaguely remember from law school provisions that impose restraints on marriage would likely be void for public policy.

That said, post :chaostrump:

if you wanted to keep your hard earned bootstrap dollars from going to some animal from a shithole country, who knows?

# ¿ May 19, 2018 02:13

GamingHyena: Jul 25, 2003; Devil's Advocate

CarForumPoster posted:

How do criminal attorneys/lawfirms find out who has been arrested and how to contact them in most states? Do they get a list? Bail bondsman refer them?

Depends on the state. In most states arrest records are public record so they get it from commercially available sources. Less ethically, some bondsman will steer defendants towards a particular attorney for a cut.

# ¿ May 27, 2018 23:54

GamingHyena: Jul 25, 2003; Devil's Advocate

Javid posted:

I'm also curious about this except with Better Call Saul.

My lawyer friends and I have joked that the first ten minutes of the first episode of Better Call Saul was the most realistic portrayal of a court appointed attorney ever shown on television (right down to the awful trial fee). However, it's also extremely unlikely he'd ever represent all three defendants charged with the same burglary (or abuse of a corpse, whatever crime the kids who had sex with the head were charged with) because of the massive potential for a conflict of interest. Also, I doubt he would have passed the character and fitness portion of the State Bar application given his history.

# ¿ Jun 2, 2018 09:08

GamingHyena: Jul 25, 2003; Devil's Advocate

drat Bananas posted:

If I went to probate court over 5 years ago when processing my deceased mother's will/estate, does the court keep a copy of that probated will as some sort of record that I could access? I no longer have all of that paperwork as it was a very distressing time in my life, but I've discovered that my state (TX) has "unclaimed property" in my mother's name from her old cell phone account. In order to claim it I have to provide the probated will OR file some affidavit of heirship if there never was a probated will (but there was).

Do I have any sort of course of action here or will that $45 just sit in the unclaimed property account forever because no one else can claim it?

Yes. In Texas probate documents are held by the county clerk. Call the county clerk of the county where you probated the will. If you have the cause number (it will be on the top front page of any court document you still have) it will be easier. Otherwise, the county clerk can look it up by the name of the decedent.

# ¿ Jun 26, 2018 07:06

GamingHyena: Jul 25, 2003; Devil's Advocate

SkunkDuster posted:

Say you are a defense attorney defending a bank robber. The bank robber informs you that he is paying you with the money he robbed from the bank. How do you handle that?

An attorney cannot knowingly receive funds derived from an illegal source as that would be money laundering. For example, I'll cite to the Texas money laundering statute:

Texas Penal Code 34.02 - Money Laundering posted:

(a) A person commits an offense if the person knowingly:

(1) acquires or maintains an interest in, conceals, possesses, transfers, or transports the proceeds of criminal activity;

(2) conducts, supervises, or facilitates a transaction involving the proceeds of criminal activity;

(3) invests, expends, or receives, or offers to invest, expend, or receive, the proceeds of criminal activity or funds that the person believes are the proceeds of criminal activity; or

(4) finances or invests or intends to finance or invest funds that the person believes are intended to further the commission of criminal activity.

(a-1) Knowledge of the specific nature of the criminal activity giving rise to the proceeds is not required to establish a culpable mental state under this section.

(b) For purposes of this section, a person is presumed to believe that funds are the proceeds of or are intended to further the commission of criminal activity if a peace officer or a person acting at the direction of a peace officer represents to the person that the funds are proceeds of or are intended to further the commission of criminal activity, as applicable, regardless of whether the peace officer or person acting at the peace officer's direction discloses the person's status as a peace officer or that the person is acting at the direction of a peace officer.

(c) It is a defense to prosecution under this section that the person acted with intent to facilitate the lawful seizure, forfeiture, or disposition of funds or other legitimate law enforcement purpose pursuant to the laws of this state or the United States.

(d) It is a defense to prosecution under this section that the transaction was necessary to preserve a person's right to representation as guaranteed by the Sixth Amendment of the United States Constitution and by Article 1, Section 10, of the Texas Constitution or that the funds were received as bona fide legal fees by a licensed attorney and at the time of their receipt, the attorney did not have actual knowledge that the funds were derived from criminal activity.

As you can see, it turns on the attorney's knowledge of the funds' source. Generally, most attorneys will not ask where their retainer is coming from and very few clients will explicitly tell their lawyer they're being paid in dirty money. If that were to happen, the proper course of action would be to decline the funds and either decline to represent the person or try to get paid through money the attorney does not know is illegal. If the attorney were to knowingly accept funds derived from criminal activity then the attorney risks the government clawing that money back and potentially being charged themselves.

A 50S RAYGUN posted:

i don't think it's illegal to simply ask someone to leave a place. at the very least, it doesn't seem like it should be.

also without context you seem very creepy.

GamingHyena fucked around with this message at 23:59 on Jul 13, 2018

# ¿ Jul 13, 2018 23:47

GamingHyena: Jul 25, 2003; Devil's Advocate

fool_of_sound posted:

Also IIRC a lawyer can get in trouble if they let a client that has admitted guilt to them go on stand and profess innocence,

Maybe. Generally, an attorney is prohibited from putting on a witness who they know is going to perjure themselves. Simply telling an inconsistent story, in and of itself, is not perjury. After all, there are several reasons a client could have lied to the attorney and told the truth on the stand (had mental health issues / memory problems, was covering to protect the guilty party, wanted to work out a plea bargain to avoid prison and knew they would have to say they are guilty, client's actual alibi is embarrassing or implicates him in a more serious crime, etc.). Usually, the only times you run into this situation is when a defendant explicitly tells their lawyer they are going to lie on the stand. What the lawyer does next depends on their state's codes of professional responsibility. Again, I'll use the Texas Rules of Professional Conduct as an example:

quote:

Whether an advocate for a criminally accused has the same duty of disclosure has been intensely debated. While it is agreed that in such cases, as in others, the lawyer should seek to persuade the client to refrain from suborning or offering perjurious testimony or other false evidence, there has been dispute concerning the lawyer's duty when that persuasion fails. If the confrontation with the client occurs before trial, the lawyer ordinarily can withdraw. Withdrawal before trial may not be possible, however, either because trial is imminent, or because the confrontation with the client does not take place until the trial itself, or because no other counsel is available.

10. The proper resolution of the lawyer's dilemma in criminal cases is complicated by two considerations. The first is the substantial penalties that a criminal accused will face upon conviction, and the lawyer's resulting reluctance to impair any defenses the accused wishes to offer on his own behalf having any possible basis in fact. The second is the right of a defendant to take the stand should he so desire, even over the objections of the lawyer. Consequently, in any criminal case where the accused either insists on testifying when the lawyer knows that the testimony is perjurious or else surprises the lawyer with such testimony at trial, the lawyer's effort to rectify the situation can increase the likelihood of the client's being convicted as well as opening the possibility of a prosecution for perjury. On the other hand, if the lawyer does not exercise control over the proof, the lawyer participates, although in a merely passive way, in deception of the court.

11. Three resolutions of this dilemma have been proposed. One is to permit the accused to testify by a narrative without guidance through the lawyer's questioning. This compromises both contending principles; it exempts the lawyer from the duty to disclose false evidence but subjects the client to an implicit disclosure of information imparted to counsel. Another suggested resolution is that the advocate be entirely excused from the duty to reveal perjury if the perjury is that of the client. This solution, however, makes the advocate a knowing instrument of perjury.

12. The other resolution of the dilemma, and the one this Rule adopts, is that the lawyer must take reasonable remedial measure which may include revealing the client's perjury. A criminal accused has a right to the assistance of an advocate, a right to testify and a right of confidential communication with counsel. However, an accused should not have a right to assistance of counsel in committing perjury. Furthermore, an advocate has an obligation, not only in professional ethics but under the law as well, to avoid implication in the commission of perjury or other falsification of evidence.

Basically, if the guy says "I'm going to lie on the stand" then you need to tell him "don't do that and if you do then I'm required to tell the court." If the client still insists and it's before trial (or even in the middle of trial - this actually happened to a friend of mine once) then the attorney needs to try and withdraw from the case. Of course, the judge may not let the attorney off the case especially if it's during trial. If he still wants to get up and lie you have to tell the court.

It's important to note that we're only talking about a defendant committing perjury by testifying on the stand. Entering a plea of not guilty, even if you're super guilty, is not perjury and doesn't apply here. A plea of not guilty is not the same as saying you're innocent. It merely says a defendant wants the government to prove their case beyond a reasonable doubt. And everyone accused of a crime has the right to hold the government to their burden of proof no matter whether they committed the crime or not.

GamingHyena fucked around with this message at 05:36 on Jul 14, 2018

# ¿ Jul 14, 2018 05:31

GamingHyena: Jul 25, 2003; Devil's Advocate

euphronius posted:

They would not have been reasonable when and where I practiced family law.

I�d be surprised if a simple prenup for someone who has nothing and just wants to protect retirement cost more than a few hundred dollars.

# ¿ Aug 2, 2018 18:47

GamingHyena: Jul 25, 2003; Devil's Advocate

Unamuno posted:

don't do it bro, g-g-g-g-ghost lawyering is sanctionable in some jurisdictions!

I almost reported a ghost lawyer, but when I pulled off the mask it was Old Man Jenkins the whole time!

# ¿ Aug 4, 2018 03:55

GamingHyena: Jul 25, 2003; Devil's Advocate

Phil Moscowitz posted:

That method only works in courtrooms the size of closets, where "hearing officers" preside over whatever preliminary nonsense was at stake in that video.

Try to commandeer or walk out of a real-life Federal admiralty courtroom and see how long you end up in a cell.

But yeah that guy is pretty great.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XCoUCI0eSKI

This One Weird Trick^TM for exposing the corrupt system with positive law - they cannot restrain a man over whom they have no jurisdiction!*

*Serves 43 days for Assault, Contempt of Court, and Driving with an Invalid License, talks about taking a plea deal for the other charges.

# ¿ Aug 14, 2018 19:56

GamingHyena: Jul 25, 2003; Devil's Advocate

Devor posted:

Which Freeman guide teaches about shooting cops. I want to avoid that one in case it puts me on a watchlist

"I'm not threatening you, officer. I'm just exercising my rights under UCC 2-206 by offering to ship conforming goods of bullets your way at high velocity and hoping you accept them!"

# ¿ Aug 15, 2018 02:17

GamingHyena: Jul 25, 2003; Devil's Advocate

In the year 2680, Quantum Grammer will star in the next Frasier reboot.

It promises to have the highest body count yet.

# ¿ Aug 16, 2018 04:19

GamingHyena: Jul 25, 2003; Devil's Advocate

Why not just talk to your union rep? Your CBA likely gives you additional rights anyways.

# ¿ Sep 6, 2018 02:14

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ¿ Apr 25, 2024 06:27

GamingHyena: Jul 25, 2003; Devil's Advocate

eighty-four merc posted:

My bad, I mean my employer. If I were to take them to small claims court

What is your cause of action against your employer?

# ¿ Oct 9, 2020 15:05

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Ask/Tell > Legal Questions: do not communicate with the demon at all except through your genie