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Not a Duck
Mar 17, 2009

I'm not a duck.
Perseus is unlikable. Most of the movie he spends sulking and pouting about being a demigod and has as much emotional depth as a tide pool. The film's makers tried to make him moody and misunderstood, but Perseus comes off as a sullen crybaby you hope gets stabbed in the back of the head by one of the more capable characters. Toward the end he does show some spirit. Unfortunately it was more like a lunkhead quarterback spouting off motivational platitudes to a J.V. team than anything heartfelt or a result of personal growth.

Sam Worthington, he was Jake Sully in Avatar, as Perseus isn't given much to work with but neither does he try to add anything. Every corny line is delivered in a mumbled, monotone voice like he's embarrassed. His reactions have two settings: muted or overblown. Both betray a void of emotion and involvement from the actor. Without a big, blue CGI substitute, Worthington can't stand on his own two feet in this movie either.

How about the villain played by Ralph Fiennes? He's certainly more interesting and has more to offer. He speaks in an evil, harsh whisper, appears and disappears in a black mist, and killed the protagonist's family. You'll be forgiven if you thought this was Lord Voldemort instead of Hades, god of the underworld.

Clash of the Titans is unimaginative and lacks any of the fun the original has. The plot is convoluted, derivative, and much of it just plain stupid. It's like they took the first draft from the disinterested screenwriters who wrote this flop and decided it was all they needed. There are scenes so goofy and dumb, I openly laughed at how ham handed and amateurish they are. Specifically, the scene when Zeus rapes Perseus' biological mom and Acrisius is struck by a thunderbolt.

There are more points I like to make along that line, but I'll keep this a review and not a discussion. I'll just say that if there's a movie you and your friends just have to go into a theater and mock, make it Clash of the Titans. Everyone else who values their time and money, avoid this insulting film. At least Gemma Arterton who plays Io, the ageless cocktease of the gods, is sexy.

One star. gently caress this movie.

Not a Duck fucked around with this message at 12:38 on Apr 4, 2010

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Fellwenner
Oct 21, 2005
Don't make me kill you.

Agree with most of the above. Seems like this movie would have fit better as a SyFy (hate that change) production rather than as we received it. Really poor character development, the plot was really simple and plodding and lacked any sort of epic quest feel to it. It just sort of seemed to stumble around until the end.

At least they didn't do anyting with that stupid owl.

2/5 I guess.

Beowulf
Jun 16, 2003

The multiplying villainies of nature do swarm upon him...
Saw about an hour of this last night. Walked out. Not particularly terrible but pretty boring and derivative. Mads Mikkelsen was the only part I really liked about this movie.

2/5

Nerolus
Mar 12, 2010

"He smells like roast chicken, looks like burnt meatloaf."
3D is a loving rip-off, sucked balls. Don't bother seeing it in theater either, just get that poo poo on RedBox for a day or download it. The story was... well based of the classic. I knew exactly what was going to happen, which isn't a strike against the movie, but isn't much of a bonus either. So I can't really knock it on the storyline. The only thing that really saved this movie was the Medusa scene. I was incredibly disappointed with the ending, the Kraken was a loving pussy and died in a few minutes.

Also, Sam Worthington is a oval office of an actor and deserves NO lead roles. He sucks.

I fell asleep at various points in the theater wearing my lovely 3D glasses, that was the best part.

2/5 (only for some cool effects, which were pissed upon by bad 3D)

Illudere
Jan 12, 2005
I thought this was enjoyable as an action/adventure flick. It had lots of good moments, but often ruined everything with something hokey or out of place. The opening scene with narration seemed a little heavy handed and over done in epic films, but it's hard to get more epic than Greek myth (and Norse and Arabian) and I liked the star effects/thought it worked okay by the end.

At first I didn't like the gods armor since it seemed so medieval, but then came to appreciate it as something different than chiseled abs and thought it was fun. I also liked the Olympus floor and mini statues of humans.

Really don't like Sam Worthington and think I'm going to look into how he is getting all these great (well, big) roles. I'm not an actor, but if I was doing an ancient Greek piece would be at the top of my dream list. A bunch of the supporting cast was good though. I liked Perseus adoptive father. Thought he had a lot of charisma in his relatively small amount of screen time and that was important since he was Perseus "human" link that was important to his plot dilemma of man vs gods. The Djinn character was interesting at first but then he was kind of turned into a "what the heck is that thing doing with us" joke and I didn't really understand his finale. Io feels forced in just to have a strong female character around and I guess she is a love interest also which is bolder and stranger than making it Andromeda.

A power struggle of man vs gods is a hard line to walk since the gods seem so powerful and that is further reinforced by the slaughter of soldiers early on after the statue incident and Hades wrecking people up without a fight. Also Perseus is just so-so really until he suddenly uses the gifted sword and starts flipping around. I think Perseus accepting Zeus help was an important part of the plot though, even if making Hades the bad guy is the easy way out and Zeus love won't stop people from dying and entering the underworld.

The medusa segment was fun except for the mandatory pre-fight speech. I did like the bit with the guy posing by the archer statue in the same pose and tossing out a quip. Charon (the river styx boatman) felt a little Disney theme ride to me, but not to troubling. The medusa design was quite good and she was a good size without feeling like she would sneeze and blow away all the tiny humans. Some of the other fights in the movie were a little to spastic for me, particularly bits of the scorpion battle. They might have made those things a bit to big.

This isn't a brilliant film by any means, but the effects were good and with a more charismatic lead it might have really been something.

3/5

Illudere fucked around with this message at 09:03 on Jun 17, 2010

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Endie
Feb 7, 2007

Jings
This film occupies that horrible area where it isn't good enough to be watchable nor bad enough to be laughable. I wish I had walked out like Beowulf describes but I ended up being kinda bored. I suppose I'm also pretty blase abut CGI now, too, and it's a vehicle for that in that it is just "Clash of The Titans remade with CGI".

Boasting by association: I admit that I was biased, since my great aunt was in the original, though she hated it being mentioned and pretty much took the role out of force of habit/love of money (she did a lot of cult stuff).

2/5

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