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 *CRK* SSSSSS Zoo fight? Is that what he said? What the poo poo is going on out here?
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May 2, 2010 03:44
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| # ¿ Apr 26, 2024 06:42 |
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*CRK*ddam pig? With robot legs? And they think it can take down some multi-ton hovering leviathan? Jesus, what are they smoking? From what I've picked up about the DREADNAUTILUS, I can tell you it's going to crush the pig into a pile of grease, hair, and bits of steel. ... What? No! Well sure, the thing is dumb, but it's loving 600 million years of evolution trained to kill, and it flies! ... Well ok, but I take radio orders from those guys under the mountain sometimes, but that doesn't mean I forget how to load magazines and slit throats whenever a storm busts up the radio towers. You think it's going to decide not to attack the pig when contact gets cut? That radio connection goes down, everyone is getting hit, pig included. Besides, it has three radio antennas and an armored shell, and who knows what kind of hosed up brain layout. The pig has one thin skull hanging out of steel suit it probably can't even drive well. *CRKK* SSSSid they say the pig was super intelligent? No? Well hey man, I don't know what kind of irradiated chemical factory you grew up in, but pigs have four legs. This thing is the newest toy designed by a bunch of dumb eggheads who haven't even seen the sun. It probably can't even walk that well. And hey, even if its magic guns take down the DREADNAUTILUS, the thing will probably get crushed and strangled to death while the leviathan is bleeding out. *CK* No, save me a seat. Away from those leech worshiper guys, yeah.
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May 2, 2010 06:56
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*SSS*EY, DREADNAUTILUS CONTROLLER GUYS! I saw a picture of that pig, and unlike just about everyone living on this blasted planet, he doesn't have any goggles. Your guy has a laser, yeah? Who gives a poo poo about inaccurate guns? Just start washing that area of the camp with a wide-angle beam right off, and don't stop till you hear the pig's eyes pop. Bet his fancy guns don't work quite so well when he's flailing around inside a demolished shed wishing he still had eyes to cry with. Hah! And who knows, maybe it'll gently caress up the optical systems on the guns too. *CRK SSS* Diet Mountain Dew?! What kind of limp-wristed nancy... I found a whole backyard shelter filled to the brim with cases of that poo poo a mile back. It'll burn right? I'm gonna go back and burn it.
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May 2, 2010 07:30
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Angry Guacamole posted:
Well lah-dee-dah, you're a chick by the sound of it, so of course you like that diet poo poo. Not that it's that easy to be sure who's what these days with the amount of free rads flying around... just last week I met this *CRKRKKKK* sssidn't know WHAT to think. Plus, there were those tentacles. Anyway yeah, a couple bottles of that stuff popped and fizzed, but it didn't go up like I was hoping. So it's all yours if you can find it. It's that caved in pit by some sand. And rocks. In the desert. Good to hear more chatter that makes sense though. Goddam pigmech needs to hurry up and get baconized.
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May 2, 2010 09:04
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Arkanomen posted:
*CRK*don't know where you're going with that, but the last time someone tried to harvest me it was a crazed beardy miner dude riding farm machinery. It didn't go so well for him, since the drat things can't go faster than 20 miles an hour and I had plenty of ammo. Back off, robowoman. Although you can't be all bad if you're rootin' for the DREADNAUTILUS I guess. 3 Sided Die posted:Theres this really cool dude, ok? He's standing around being all chill, like cool dudes are known to do sometimes, a cool dude like this would love to weigh in on the victor of this fight, but hes busy, busy being totally sweet. Locus fucked around with this message at 11:57 on May 2, 2010 |
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May 2, 2010 11:55
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Whoa now, don't start it quite yet. My dune buggy got decommissioned when I ramped it over some lumbering hive-elk drone on the road. My blood was all angry about this fight and I mistook it for a warthog when I was about a half-mile away. By the time I got close enough to see different, I was going 90. Thing's probably down to about the right number of legs now, but my buggy went all Crazy Max like in those old picture tapes. I'll be limping the last few miles.
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May 2, 2010 21:56
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Gomegoth posted:
*CRK*e hell it is! Guts implies that he can overcome whatever weak mammal fear he has. That nautilus kills by instinct and doesn't have any fear. drat thing would probably crush the pig even in its death throes. Back when it was a baby it probably ate most of its siblings without a second thought. And if we're talking natural elements, which I'm not sure a big ol' critter like you has, you're wrong again. Yeah the nautilus is used to swimming around underwater, but you know what the closest thing to swimming is above water? Flying. That pig's natural element is rooting around in rice fields and mud on four legs, not crammed halfway into some two-legged steel clown suit.
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May 2, 2010 23:31
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Fuuuuck. What were you doing with those steel-crushing tentacles? Hugging? Get your brains on straight and fight back! His puny ancestors fled the ocean to get away from creatures like you!
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May 3, 2010 23:55
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 gently caress YEAH! You didn't need those little robojockey shits! Finish the pig!
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May 4, 2010 00:34
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 HahHAAAA! I knew you had it in ya, you glorious flying bastard! Time to get that bacon and start up another round of drinks.
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May 4, 2010 01:05
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Huh... kind of a tough one. It seems like a good fight, but I'm gonna go with my guts on this one, and bet a spool of piano wire, two D-cell batteries, and an antique bag of 3D doritos on ##SNAKE PREVIEW. It seems like he's kind of already dead, so I don't think the mosquito can do much. Plus, I always liked snakes. I got the painter app up and running on this wrist-computer, and I think the fight is gonna go something like... this: 
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May 5, 2010 09:25
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Oh come on! Man, why does this snake have hot blood? All that radiation must have hosed up his circulatory system or something.
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May 6, 2010 00:30
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Yeah! Just like my grandma used to say, that which is dead cannot die! And something about eons, I forget. Anyway, kick his rear end, Snake Preview!
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May 6, 2010 00:55
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Mazzak posted:
Hah, yeah. I mean, I'm not magically remote viewing this place like some people, but I'm not right in the stadium or something. I've got my 'nocs. No biggie. And, uh... sure, the snake died. But I think in a way, he won. It was a moral victory. Those don't win bets though.
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May 6, 2010 01:27
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It's not a straight up KO from the looks of it. Sure, the Sturgeon is a huge tank cyborg, but it doesn't look like he can actually use that sword of his. Who knows though. I'll bet a plastic "Wal-Mart" bag full of shivs on ##The Sturgeon General The bag has a happy face on it, and most of the shivs are made of metal, with electrical tape grips.
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May 7, 2010 01:52
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Jimmy Sapphire posted:
Thanks man. Sturgeon General solidarity! Hey, you know... there's a half-buried mall about 6 miles north of here with a Guitar Center in it, if you ever need new strings. I already placed my bet, but I just thought I'd throw together my prediction for this battle. Bulldogs are bred to bite and hold on. That only works against one target.  On second thought though, if that dog actually IS smart, he might ditch the hulk and turn tail. Locus fucked around with this message at 02:25 on May 8, 2010 |
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May 8, 2010 02:15
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 Heheh... saw that one coming. I think our guy's got this under control. Normally I'd be more excited, but these smokes are really taking the edge off. The mutt's gonna be on his back any second, but the rollerskates can handle him.
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May 9, 2010 00:54
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As long as the Sturgeon General finishes off the caveman, Nelson can't hope to win. It'd take the little bugger an hour to chew into anything vital, biological or mechanical.
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May 9, 2010 01:15
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 gently caress YEAH! CRUSH THEM, STURGEON!
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May 9, 2010 01:29
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Aw... aw man. My gut says "the liongun might win", and my brain says "maybe", but my heart says " ##Croctopus-For Only 6 Billion Rupees ". Maybe it's all this cheap wine talking, but I mean... he represents what we've all lost you know? That innocent idea that everything will be ok, and that the job will get done and that we'll build that boat? Like a metaphore, you know what I'm saying? Even if there was no chance of him winning I'd have to just... back the little guy, you know? *CRK*sssss hold on, I got some sand in my eye. *sniff* Anyway, here's a drawing: 
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May 9, 2010 07:33
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It's camouflage, surely! Go, Croctopus! We believe in you!
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May 11, 2010 23:29
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Ugh... too much celebration. What's going on now? Well, logic dictates that the dolphin will win. He has sonic navigation, which renders smoke grenades useless... and it's likely that his sonic stuff will interfere with the bat. Also fists suck at punching through metal... but this might end up more like a sumo wrestler match. Even with the dolphin advantages though, freaking everyone is voting for the bat. Maybe you all know something I don't? Let's see. Ok, heads the bat, tails the dolphin... Looks like my bet's on ##Count Smackula. I hope his curse isn't "making everyone vote for him and lose their money"
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May 14, 2010 20:01
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I don't want to sound like I'm going with the crowd here, but I gotta put my bet on ##Sting Kong. I can't help but dislike big idiot brutes with hammers after all the mutants I've run up against in the wastelands. And I admire the purity and streamlined effectiveness of the scorpion ape. Always bet on the ice-blooded killers over the angry brutes. Plus, I'm getting a "Smash Gordon" vibe from fishboy. Even if Sting Kong isn't nearly as impressive as the Sturgeon General, I think we'll see a similar outcome. Oh yeah, I'll wager this cold fusion jar I found last year.  The power output is barely enough to run a clock radio, and you have to put a few drops of ant-venom in there every few weeks to keep it running, but I guess it's useful for something. You know, I'm not even sure this runs on cold fusion. I think someone said that just because it's blue. Locus fucked around with this message at 05:44 on May 17, 2010 |
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May 17, 2010 05:36
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Well that was lovely, I should have just flipped the coin again. Sad to see a fine warrior like Sting Kong go down to a showboating fishman, but we can all get some comfort from the knowledge that the fish is going to get shredded in round two. And at least I'm four wins over two losses on my betting record.
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May 18, 2010 09:34
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I'm gonna go with ##Presidential Seal. I mean, the onion could get lucky and find some horrible abomination in those sewers that could take down the seal in two seconds flat, I'm sure, but the seal has the advantage of not being an immobile vegetable. Plus, he's the goddamn president. And that still sort of means something. I think.
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May 19, 2010 01:39
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 Get 'em, prez!
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May 21, 2010 02:58
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Ohhh say can you seeeeee... by the daaah er leee ... mmm em emmm em m... dah duh duuuh dah dah daaah... Well, however it goes 
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May 21, 2010 11:22
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Gotta go with ##The Snapture. Never trust communists. And both snapping turtles and PCP are things you just don't gently caress with. Also, if he is the devil, I want to try to get an autograph.
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May 23, 2010 09:22
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Well, the first time around I bet on Snake Preview, and bet against the pig. So this is sort of a no brainer. Guns and hyenas? Whatever. Crazy time poo poo is where it's at. ##SnakePilgrim
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May 27, 2010 13:49
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I'll put my bets on ##E.M.M.A.. The thing is freaking huge, and has six heads in jars, whereas its opponent has only one head in a jar. Plus, it's not a British neanderthal.
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May 29, 2010 07:06
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Oh man, I kind of wanted both of these guys to win their fights, and I'd have bet on both if that coin toss hadn't put my money on the oversized bat. I don't know, I still think the dolphin is too civilized. On the other hand, the gorilla is now theoretically even more civilized, since he operates on strict rule-based programming, but who knows how that Mortal Kombat deck will behave. Screw it, betting on ##Gorillesis Mk. II
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Jun 1, 2010 04:54
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I wasn't raised to back no goddamn commie! Ten of those reanimated soviet dog heads on ##The Bloody Onion. They work great as guard dogs, or at least, alarm dogs.
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Jun 4, 2010 05:30
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No goddamn communist mosquito h-... poo poo, I guess he's not a communist. Still, that piece of flying bloodsucking crap stole the last fight from Snake Preview. ##AGGRONAUT is gonna pop him like a balloon full of oil and blood. The nautilus has anti-aircraft flak cannons, yeah? The mosquito is one big annoying aircraft full of little annoying aircraft. You do the math. 
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Jun 8, 2010 01:09
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I don't care if he's trying to wipe out humanity or somethin' like that, he's still awesome! Go Aggronaut!
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Jun 10, 2010 01:48
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I'm still mad about that last fight. drat mosquito... who the hell votes for a horrible bloodsucking piece of crap like that? Oh yeah, all you assholes. Well, I'm betting on ##CAPTAIN CROCTOPUS of course. The sturgeon is a pretty good competitor, but honestly, he barely won against a big fat muscly guy with a stone hammer. Despite being like a million pounds of muscle and steel himself.
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Jun 12, 2010 06:59
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Ehhhh... I don't really like either of these guys. That shifty-eyed bat guy just rubs me the wrong way though, so screw it, let's bet on the fish. He's got at least one arm of a far better fighter. I just hope ##Banebarramundi has enough drugs running through his system to beat the odds.
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Jun 15, 2010 02:19
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Oh man, both of these contestants symbolize American ideals. On one hand, you have a rebellious individualistic combatant who is free as gently caress, and on the other hand, you have the goddamn president. It seems like everyone's betting on The Snapture, and although I salute his spirit, and the fact that he is presumably a self-made turtle monster, I'm going to have to go with ##The Seal of Disapproval. Whoever wins though, I'll enjoy watching them take down that rear end in a top hat mosquito.
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Jun 17, 2010 23:00
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drat, a Gorrillion dollars are in play this round? Guy's throwing some serious fliff out there, but at least it's for a good cause. Well, I already put my bet on The President, but it seems you all need more convincing so I drew this. Sadly this wrist thing has a tiny screen, so I ran out of room before I could add the eagles in. 
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Jun 19, 2010 09:50
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Woo! U.S.A! U.S.A! U.S.A!
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Jun 20, 2010 05:40
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| # ¿ Apr 26, 2024 06:42 |
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Now, I may not know everything about history, but I'm pretty sure the fight is definitely going to end with ##GAMMA CONSTRICTOR winning like this: 
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Jun 23, 2010 02:14
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