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Fang
Jul 9, 2001
If you don't think ponderous, clumsy sentence structure loaded with hamfisted thesaurus wankery makes good writing, you're probably just too dumb to read my posts.

/r/iamverysmart

As firearms enthusiasts, we are accustomed to snarling in rage over some grossly ignorant misrepresentation of gun technology on the silver screen. Any technical detail done wrong onscreen will disrupt suspension of disbelief in those familiar with the subject matter, and there is a especially fertile field of folly from which to choose when firearms are the subject.

On the flip side, when television or movies get guns right, it inspires such an outburst of fawning, sobbing relief that many shortcomings may be overlooked. Sure, movie X might have cardboard characters speaking wooden dialogue with pacing and direction that imply ongoing cough syrup abuse in Hollywood, but by God they got the guns right, so that's another blu-ray sale right there.

So instead of just ranting about how movies get guns wrong, let's pair each gun screwup with an example of realism.

For instance, take the longarm/sidearm power gap. In movies and TV, this doesn't exist. Jack Bauer raids the terrorist hideout carrying only a handgun, despite having the opportunity to grab a rifle or shotgun. Every John Woo movie ever made. In fact, there's one movie I saw that is so horrible I can remember no details beyond the fact that at one point the protagonists, armed with their sexy, sexy handguns take out a bunch of baddies armed with rifles...and leave the rifles and their ammo just lying there as they go off in pursuit of further action scenes.

But occasionally things are done right. The hotel shootout scene in Way of the Gun demonstrates how a guy with a rifle, firing from an elevated position, decimates a group of adversaries armed solely with pistols. Later in the same movie, the protagonists pick a rifle and shotgun when heading into a known dangerous situation. Very refreshing.

That's the first example that came to mind because it's a huge pet peeve. What've you got?

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Fang
Jul 9, 2001
If you don't think ponderous, clumsy sentence structure loaded with hamfisted thesaurus wankery makes good writing, you're probably just too dumb to read my posts.

/r/iamverysmart

LifeSizePotato posted:

Has there ever been a movie where a silencer doesn't sound like a baby bird chirping? Serious question, I don't think I've ever seen one portrayed realistically.

The Interpreter was noteworthy for getting this right. A silenced Glock is portrayed as sounding like a loud clap.

Fang
Jul 9, 2001
If you don't think ponderous, clumsy sentence structure loaded with hamfisted thesaurus wankery makes good writing, you're probably just too dumb to read my posts.

/r/iamverysmart

Also, since there are a lot of people not accompanying their examples of inaccurate portrayal of guns in movies with corresponding good examples I will offset this with an entire movie: "The Way of the Gun." This film has some of the best gunplay on screen and uses stuff normally overlooked in movies to good effect: use and limitations of armor, cover and movement, shooting at any exposed body part, tight shotgun patterns, ricochets, and room clearing. Firearms are used for characterization: The protagonists use Colt 1911s, the bodyguards are armed with USPs, and the old cops have snub-nosed revolvers. The only parts that could use improvement is the perfect line of bullet holes created by a strafing Galil and the fact that people don't seem to be bothered by gunshot noise.

It's also a really good movie.

Fang
Jul 9, 2001
If you don't think ponderous, clumsy sentence structure loaded with hamfisted thesaurus wankery makes good writing, you're probably just too dumb to read my posts.

/r/iamverysmart

Roundboy posted:

He tried really hard in a scene from Firefly where they had 'Vera' (really a shotgun?) was enclosed in a space suit because he mistakenly thought a gun needed air to fire in. He did admit his mistake later on though.

It's something of a forgiveable airror that doesn't suck gas as much as some. He may have been under pressure when he wrote that scene, or didn't want to have a long-winded explanation. Screenwriting isn't as breezy as it looks, even when one doesn't atmosphere a viewership people by rabid fanboyles who won't be at all oxygentle with your noble efforts.

Fang
Jul 9, 2001
If you don't think ponderous, clumsy sentence structure loaded with hamfisted thesaurus wankery makes good writing, you're probably just too dumb to read my posts.

/r/iamverysmart

Roundboy posted:

i picture Will Farrel in 'old School' doing the debate scene. he just falls backwards and forgets what just happens.

Pretty much this. Last time I did one of these, I woke up naked on top of my house with half a cat.

Fang
Jul 9, 2001
If you don't think ponderous, clumsy sentence structure loaded with hamfisted thesaurus wankery makes good writing, you're probably just too dumb to read my posts.

/r/iamverysmart

I like turtles posted:

Which half?

The front half; it had been concatenated.

Fang
Jul 9, 2001
If you don't think ponderous, clumsy sentence structure loaded with hamfisted thesaurus wankery makes good writing, you're probably just too dumb to read my posts.

/r/iamverysmart

priznat posted:

Shoot `em up gave me a huge headache and it just seemed very mean spirited and crass to me so I didn't enjoy it (or finish watching it). Normally I enjoy pretty much everything Clive Owen does too so I was confused. I also enjoy lactating prostitutes so it was a double whammy.

But hey, peoples' tastes are different.

The thing that bothered me about "Shoot 'em Up" was that I could almost see the writer smirking and rubbing his favorite chin while muttering, "those stupid gun nuts don't even realize they're being mocked, ha ha!" Also, there's a line where a plot point gets so stupid that it fails even as farce; "Shoot 'em Up" waddles over this line, chortling like an imbecile, repeatedly.

Fang
Jul 9, 2001
If you don't think ponderous, clumsy sentence structure loaded with hamfisted thesaurus wankery makes good writing, you're probably just too dumb to read my posts.

/r/iamverysmart

mlmp08 posted:

Taken 2: Seriously, this time we're going to make it even more painfully clear how important VIRGINITY OF OUR WOMEN is as Liam Neeson murders hundreds of would-be rapists while all loose women get straight-fuckin-murdered.

This was just as silly when TF opined it. The interpretation is a much stronger statement about the people who hold it than the movie itself.

Fang
Jul 9, 2001
If you don't think ponderous, clumsy sentence structure loaded with hamfisted thesaurus wankery makes good writing, you're probably just too dumb to read my posts.

/r/iamverysmart

Cyrano4747 posted:

You really don't see something there? I mean, the entire premise of the movie is that Liam Neeson has the time to go after his daughter precisely BECAUSE she is a virgin, which puts her in a different food chain than her non-virgin friend who is kidnapped at the same time. The non-virgins get put straight to work locally and are kept drugged up on heroin (leading to the OD of the girl his daughter was kidnapped with), while his daughter gets shunted to the high-end auction circuit where she's eventually bought by a oil shiek or something.

You can argue about how deep that message runs all you want. Me, I tend to think it was a convenient way to give the dad an entire chain of poo poo to chew up, beginning with low life street thugs and hustlers and leading up to a final assault on a yacht full of highly trained middle eastern body guards. It also had the added benefit of providing some extra dramatic tension based on the whole idea of the father figure as a protector and the fact that, after a certain point, the audience flat out knew that she wasn't being gang raped non-stop every second he dicked around in Paris but that if he didn't hurry his rear end up she would suffer a very unpleasant fate.

I don't agree with the people who think that it was the ONLY point in the movie or who accuse it of being some kind of ham-fisted sermon on the importance of virginity. Still, you can't really argue that the issue wasn't kind of crucial to the plot.

I mean, hell, the climax of the movie was quite literally the father/protector shooting the soon-to-be-rapist in the forehead while he holds a big, curved, ostentatiously oriental dagger at his daughter's throat. (I also don't agree with the people that freak about perceived racial messages, but that whole scene could have come straight out of the pages of a turn-of-the-century pulp orientalist novel).

For what it's worth, in actual real-life human trafficking that poo poo does happen. It's well established by all sorts of human rights and anti-trafficking organizations that "virgin" prostitutes command a MUCH higher premium in certain parts of the world, whether they really are new to the trade or not. It's a major driving force in the really despicable stuff like child prostitution.

I completely agree with you on all of the above: The daughter's virginity is a plot device to drive more scenes of Liam Neeson kicking the poo poo out of people. It's a beautifully organic and integrated plot device, but that doesn't make it a theme or a message.

Fang
Jul 9, 2001
If you don't think ponderous, clumsy sentence structure loaded with hamfisted thesaurus wankery makes good writing, you're probably just too dumb to read my posts.

/r/iamverysmart

DELETED posted:

Yeah, they only spent like $200 on it or something. I did notice something good swirled in with something bad in the Chrono Trigger video: while taking cover behind wooden stairs (He acknowledges that they're magic), his M4 jams and he racks the bolt to clear it. Then he continues his curiously long spray of automatic fire.

Ah, so it does reflect reality in that respect!

Fang
Jul 9, 2001
If you don't think ponderous, clumsy sentence structure loaded with hamfisted thesaurus wankery makes good writing, you're probably just too dumb to read my posts.

/r/iamverysmart

QuarkMartial posted:

What struck me about DBDA, though, was how the main character kept cleaning his AR15. Within the first few days (ie, first few pages of the book) he cleans it three or four times, when he's never fired it or used it.

Obviously he doesn't want it to jam.

Fang
Jul 9, 2001
If you don't think ponderous, clumsy sentence structure loaded with hamfisted thesaurus wankery makes good writing, you're probably just too dumb to read my posts.

/r/iamverysmart

I read one review of "Shoot 'em Up" where the reviewer said the movie had "one of the most slyly subversive gun control messages in modern cinema," which is one of the more slyly subversive ways I've ever seen someone admit he was stupid.

Fang
Jul 9, 2001
If you don't think ponderous, clumsy sentence structure loaded with hamfisted thesaurus wankery makes good writing, you're probably just too dumb to read my posts.

/r/iamverysmart

Capn Beeb posted:

GRATUITOUS FAL ACTION ITT





Awesome, it captures the gas blasting out the rear of the gas block.

Fang
Jul 9, 2001
If you don't think ponderous, clumsy sentence structure loaded with hamfisted thesaurus wankery makes good writing, you're probably just too dumb to read my posts.

/r/iamverysmart

Young Freud posted:

How common of something like that an occurance? I remember seeing something like that happening with an M60 near the end of it's life that the owner said "go ahead and screw it" and put link after link of ammunition until the barrel went white and melted.

It happens with every shot through an FAL. Excess gas is vented at the top rear of the gas block where the adjustment screw is located, and also some gets out through the vent holes in the gas piston tube, which is why the cutouts in FAL grips are located where they are. This isn't counting the incidental gas escaping around the edge of the gas piston tube or gas lock. The FAL gas system is a filthy, carbon-encrusted mess.

Fang
Jul 9, 2001
If you don't think ponderous, clumsy sentence structure loaded with hamfisted thesaurus wankery makes good writing, you're probably just too dumb to read my posts.

/r/iamverysmart

Ace Oliveira posted:

You can never think too much.

Some things do not justify a great deal of thought.

Fang
Jul 9, 2001
If you don't think ponderous, clumsy sentence structure loaded with hamfisted thesaurus wankery makes good writing, you're probably just too dumb to read my posts.

/r/iamverysmart

Give me Flibbity posted:

Says the guy who gives a lot of thought to how much he hates the method of mechanical operation of his own ARs

Given that most AR owners on this board and elsewhere don't even understand how AR DGI works, I feel safe concluding that the thought I put into it is sufficient, not excessive.

Fang
Jul 9, 2001
If you don't think ponderous, clumsy sentence structure loaded with hamfisted thesaurus wankery makes good writing, you're probably just too dumb to read my posts.

/r/iamverysmart

Exit Strategy posted:

The gas tapped from the barrel runs down the gas tube, and into the gas key, where it flows down behind the bolt and acts as a cushion to prevent the lugs from crashing against the barrel extension at the same time as it pushes back on the carrier to unlock the bolt and drive the BCG backwards, extracting and ejecting the spent casing.

Right?

The lugs have already smacked against the barrel extension as hard as they're going to by this point, but otherwise correct. I've seen a lot of people characterize the DGI used by the MAS and Ljungman as akin to what the AR uses, hence my rant.

Fang
Jul 9, 2001
If you don't think ponderous, clumsy sentence structure loaded with hamfisted thesaurus wankery makes good writing, you're probably just too dumb to read my posts.

/r/iamverysmart

Smiling Jack posted:

I actually have no idea what the differences are, so please go on.

As mentioned, ARs direct the gas down into the space between the bolt and carrier, where its pressure forces the two pieces apart. The force of the gas acts in-line with the barrel. The Ljungman/Hakim design just squirts gas onto the bolt carrier to shove it back in the same way that it would be shoved around by a gas piston.

Fang
Jul 9, 2001
If you don't think ponderous, clumsy sentence structure loaded with hamfisted thesaurus wankery makes good writing, you're probably just too dumb to read my posts.

/r/iamverysmart

Exit Strategy posted:

Why would you do this? DGI makes the rifle a pain in the rear end to clean, but the Stoner DGI system at least confers benefits that can counter that. This seems like it's just the lazy man's gas piston.

You're going to be cleaning the bolt face and carrier anyway, so the fouling isn't that big a deal. DGI does reduce the number of parts and potentially enhance accuracy.

Fang
Jul 9, 2001
If you don't think ponderous, clumsy sentence structure loaded with hamfisted thesaurus wankery makes good writing, you're probably just too dumb to read my posts.

/r/iamverysmart

PallasAthene posted:

Hahahahahahahahaha, "I hosed kids like that in the can...In the rear end..." at 3:25.

Is that really something a guy would brag about with anyone who isn't currently in prison?

Duh, it's not gay if you're the one doing the loving or getting blown.

Fang
Jul 9, 2001
If you don't think ponderous, clumsy sentence structure loaded with hamfisted thesaurus wankery makes good writing, you're probably just too dumb to read my posts.

/r/iamverysmart

This is a little late, but "The Way of the Gun" is an amazing movie and I wish Christopher McQuarrie directed more stuff. I like the fact that it's understated and ambiguous without affectation.

Fang fucked around with this message at 04:55 on Jun 30, 2011

Fang
Jul 9, 2001
If you don't think ponderous, clumsy sentence structure loaded with hamfisted thesaurus wankery makes good writing, you're probably just too dumb to read my posts.

/r/iamverysmart

walrusman posted:

My favorite so far.

Somebody go get Fang.

Vagina monologues.

Fang
Jul 9, 2001
If you don't think ponderous, clumsy sentence structure loaded with hamfisted thesaurus wankery makes good writing, you're probably just too dumb to read my posts.

/r/iamverysmart

Mr. Funny Pants posted:

Remember that one shot where the camera swirls around something?

Partway through the movie I leaned over to my friend and muttered, "Armageddon tired of this camera work."

Eating salty popcorn hurts when you have a split lip.

Fang
Jul 9, 2001
If you don't think ponderous, clumsy sentence structure loaded with hamfisted thesaurus wankery makes good writing, you're probably just too dumb to read my posts.

/r/iamverysmart

Crunkjuice posted:

Anyone ever see red state? Its on netflix streaming but i'm wary of it.

Didn't like it. Just generally unsatisfying and it failed to make much of a statement. The only thing that lent it any emotional punch was the fact that one of the kids in the movie looks exactly like my oldest daughter.

Fang
Jul 9, 2001
If you don't think ponderous, clumsy sentence structure loaded with hamfisted thesaurus wankery makes good writing, you're probably just too dumb to read my posts.

/r/iamverysmart

Snowman Crossing posted:

the graveyards are full of conceited men who tried to improve on the perfection that was Heat.

Heat is inferior to The Way of the Gun and Ronin.

Fang
Jul 9, 2001
If you don't think ponderous, clumsy sentence structure loaded with hamfisted thesaurus wankery makes good writing, you're probably just too dumb to read my posts.

/r/iamverysmart

22 Eargesplitten posted:

Speaking of Netflix shows and guns, it made me really happy how in Stranger Things, one kid's first reaction to seeing a monster was running out to the toolshed and grabbing a rifle. I mean, a .22 bolt action is one of the last guns I would want to try to shoot something bigger than a rabbit with, but it's better than a pocket knife.

I liked that part, too--not so much for the "firearms" factor as the "normal human reaction" factor.

Fang
Jul 9, 2001
If you don't think ponderous, clumsy sentence structure loaded with hamfisted thesaurus wankery makes good writing, you're probably just too dumb to read my posts.

/r/iamverysmart

Hackers/Swordfish

Fang
Jul 9, 2001
If you don't think ponderous, clumsy sentence structure loaded with hamfisted thesaurus wankery makes good writing, you're probably just too dumb to read my posts.

/r/iamverysmart

Butch Cassidy posted:

Friend and I decided to gamble on The Descent and hope for a good movie to wash our eyes. It owned and I onpy noticed after it was done that the same director had made Dog Soldiers. Which also owned.

It was a pretty descent movie with an underground following.

Fang
Jul 9, 2001
If you don't think ponderous, clumsy sentence structure loaded with hamfisted thesaurus wankery makes good writing, you're probably just too dumb to read my posts.

/r/iamverysmart

Butch Cassidy posted:

I was born in the eighties and have yet to see Jurassic Park in entirety. I have always fallen asleep shortly after Newman gets it.

Dude, spoiler that.

Fang
Jul 9, 2001
If you don't think ponderous, clumsy sentence structure loaded with hamfisted thesaurus wankery makes good writing, you're probably just too dumb to read my posts.

/r/iamverysmart

The only Coen brothers film I like is "The Big Lebowski."

Fang
Jul 9, 2001
If you don't think ponderous, clumsy sentence structure loaded with hamfisted thesaurus wankery makes good writing, you're probably just too dumb to read my posts.

/r/iamverysmart

Scruff McGruff posted:

Man, the William Gibson script is seriously really good. The lore fits, the characters are interesting and believable, and I love the fact that it follows Hicks and that Ridley is in the film for all of 5 minutes. Not because I didn't like Ridley (because that's absurd, She's awesome) but because, like Aliens to Alien, it gives you a totally new movie in the same universe and doesn't have to re-use the same ideas.

My only warning is that, in reading it, you'll just end up sad that this isn't the film that got made
http://www.awesomefilm.com/script/Alien3.txt

Two words: alien spores.

But you shouldn't trust my judgment; I liked Prometheus, if only because it was the Atra-Hasis in space. Although thinking about it now, aliens vs. Sumerians would have been even cooler.

Fang
Jul 9, 2001
If you don't think ponderous, clumsy sentence structure loaded with hamfisted thesaurus wankery makes good writing, you're probably just too dumb to read my posts.

/r/iamverysmart

I liked the first few books of the Expanse series, but gave up reading after "Nemesis Games," when the characters' started acting in ways that stopped matching what the author told the reader. James Holden, the man we're told is so principled he will risk war in order to avoid participating in realpolitik, is happy to resume a relationship with Naomi after she tells him "I'm vanishing and doing something and gently caress you if you want any information" and later needs rescuing.

Also, characters started making decisions that are justified if you have the reader's perspective but would be utterly insane for a normal person with a more limited POV. The entire crew are somehow okay with letting Clarissa Mao, the human killing machine who murdered shitloads of people as part of a plan specifically intended to kill James Holden, become part of the crew. It's not a bad choice if you've been following the Clarissa Mao POV chapters, but for anyone looking at the objective facts as they would appear to the crew, it's insane.

Fang
Jul 9, 2001
If you don't think ponderous, clumsy sentence structure loaded with hamfisted thesaurus wankery makes good writing, you're probably just too dumb to read my posts.

/r/iamverysmart

Bummey posted:

Speaking of that thing, minor recent book spoiler gently caress Marcus Inaros holy poo poo. The last two books have been especially terrible. Get back to the aliens and gates, you dumb hacks.

I don't know about you, but when I pick up a sci-fi book I always hope it'll turn out to be a hand-wringing emotional relationship drama.

Fang
Jul 9, 2001
If you don't think ponderous, clumsy sentence structure loaded with hamfisted thesaurus wankery makes good writing, you're probably just too dumb to read my posts.

/r/iamverysmart

I just watched "Daylight's End" the other day and enjoyed it for what it was: THE TACTICAL vs. zombies. It made the right call to achieve its desired effect by going with non-undead fast zombies so that speed and caliber choice mattered. My only complaints, beyond the writing and acting issues to be expected under the circumstances, were the obligatory boss fight at the end and the fact that people were a little double-tap happy for post-apocalyptic levels of ammunition availability.

Fang
Jul 9, 2001
If you don't think ponderous, clumsy sentence structure loaded with hamfisted thesaurus wankery makes good writing, you're probably just too dumb to read my posts.

/r/iamverysmart

sky shark posted:

There were FALs in The Way of the Gun? I thought it was a Galil

The only possible way I could love "The Way of the Gun" any more would be if the Galil were to be replaced with a FAL.

Fang
Jul 9, 2001
If you don't think ponderous, clumsy sentence structure loaded with hamfisted thesaurus wankery makes good writing, you're probably just too dumb to read my posts.

/r/iamverysmart

Shaocaholica posted:

Eh. It doesn't matter because it's not canon. It would truely be a sin if it were an anime remake or Japanese live action.

Of course it's not a cannon; it's a handgun.

Fang
Jul 9, 2001
If you don't think ponderous, clumsy sentence structure loaded with hamfisted thesaurus wankery makes good writing, you're probably just too dumb to read my posts.

/r/iamverysmart

Apparently the use of recognizable modern guns in "Alien: Covenant" is by design. Also an informative interview about movie armoring in general.

Fang
Jul 9, 2001
If you don't think ponderous, clumsy sentence structure loaded with hamfisted thesaurus wankery makes good writing, you're probably just too dumb to read my posts.

/r/iamverysmart

Proper Kerni ng posted:

And here we find someone who's never read the Dark Horse comic from the late '80s.

That was a brutal ending, it was like he let friggin' F. Paul Wilson guest-write the last chapter.

Yeah, I always imagined them from the descriptions as 8" SAAs, maybe in a swing-out cylinder version from the occasional times he confused his technical specs because holy shotshells King clearly doesn't know fart-all about guns and doesn't have sense enough to ask anyone who does.

It's been nearly 20 years since I read it, but if memory serves in the second book he buys .45 Winchester Magnum ammo to replenish his supplies. The caliber and power level is in keeping with the big honking revolver theme, but it's a rimless cartridge--which is not in keeping with a revolver theme at all.

The preview looks good, although it looks heavily reinterpreted compared to the books. If it works on its own right, that's no big deal; I just liked the fact that in the books the gunslinger was just an ordinary (albeit skilled) man. The first book in the series was wonderful: dream-like, fantastic, and written in an unusual voice for King. Everyone should read it. The remainder were just Stephen King fantasy novels and can be ignored.

Fang
Jul 9, 2001
If you don't think ponderous, clumsy sentence structure loaded with hamfisted thesaurus wankery makes good writing, you're probably just too dumb to read my posts.

/r/iamverysmart

Thaddius the Large posted:

I remember being taken to OMSI (Oregon Museum of Science and Industry) when I was a kid, moved away from Portland when I was 8 so sometime before then, and seeing a display of a gigantic (probably life-size, but as a kid it seemed enormous) animatronic alien queen fighting Ripley in the mech-suit. Didn't see the movie for a good decade after that, but it made a pretty goddamn awesome impression on a small child.

Edit: a cursory google search is turning up no evidence, but I saw it. I saw it happen, don't tell me it didn't happen!

It happened. It was part of a traveling display about special effects which included some models from Blade Runner, Spaceballs, and Lifeforce. I saw it at the Pacific Science Center in Seattle at the age of 12. When I came back all agog about it, my dad noted, "well, I guess you can see the movie now," and let me watch Aliens. I recall noting that the content of the movie was significantly different from that of the display, but loving it. Aliens was a family favorite and I recall many happy Saturday evenings spent cooking tacos and eating them while watching the movie, spraying tortilla crumbs and quoting Hicks.

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Fang
Jul 9, 2001
If you don't think ponderous, clumsy sentence structure loaded with hamfisted thesaurus wankery makes good writing, you're probably just too dumb to read my posts.

/r/iamverysmart


In that case, he definitely could have shot it out of the guy's hands.

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