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mlmp08
Jul 11, 2004


Nap Ghost

gauss posted:

Bad: Final season of Lost now and as well as the "weapon gets moved slightly --> cacophony of charging/racking noises", what really cracks me up/annoys me is that the armorer for the show apparently was a mom and pop operation, because they only have 5 longarms. An SKS, M1, M1 Carbine, FN-FAL, and a Mini-14. Any scene anywhere on the island, no matter if the bearer just arrived or have been hiding out since who knows when, only the same 5 rifles ever seem to show up. (Spoilers.)

Lost has always had bad gunplay and sound effects, but they did have M4s and MP5s when the Mercs showed up in an earlier season.

And just for Rent-a-Cop...

Bad everything: Equilibrium

Gun-kata is stupid, ridiculous auto-pistols with weighted magazines so you can reload all fancy is stupid, and the fact that when people get shot they ARE SO loving DUSTY is stupid. Seriously, every time bullets go through people it's like a pound of talcum powder flies off of their body.

Also, in the beginning I don't think one cop gets killed in gunfights. But THEN THE TABLES TURN and not one rebel gets killed in any gunfight and all cops are instantly annihilated.

Also, even if the gunplay were perfect, that movie would be terrible. Movies like Equilibrium are the reason why people think sci-fi is awful.

Thankfully, some decent sci-fi movies came out last year which may help people realize that not all sci-fi is Equilibrium and Ultraviolet and Aeon Flux.

fffffffuuuck...

[/whiny rant]

edit: wasn't it weird how the Matrix clearly didn't care about realistic guns (why should they anyway?) and yet they had press checks?

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mlmp08
Jul 11, 2004


Nap Ghost

LifeSizePotato posted:

Has there ever been a movie where a silencer doesn't sound like a baby bird chirping? Serious question, I don't think I've ever seen one portrayed realistically.

Spoilers if you haven't seen Munich: http://www.imfdb.org/index.php/Munich#Zip_Guns

mlmp08
Jul 11, 2004


Nap Ghost

BaronW posted:

Akimbo weapons
GOOD: Equilibrium. If you're going to be silly and unrealistic, don't half-rear end it.

BAD: Every movie with akimbo weapons, ever. Particularly bad: one of the Charlie's Angels movies was on TV at a friend's place and I saw some 120lb hollywood tartlet dual-wielding gold .50ae handguns.

Aren't both of these equally stupid?

mlmp08
Jul 11, 2004


Nap Ghost

And Charlies Angles was?

mlmp08
Jul 11, 2004


Nap Ghost

I rather enjoyed Hurt Locker. I mean, it wasn't perfect and there were plenty of inaccuracies, but I thought it was a movie about how war psychologically fucks with people rather than a documentary on proper military tactics.

mlmp08
Jul 11, 2004


Nap Ghost

Wanted was an awful adolescent fantasy about going from total loser to like ultimate badass who kills people and gets the girl and takes petty revenge on people who aren't even really THAT bad.

Basically, if you found yourself thinking about how loving cool it was when he smashed his buddy with the keyboard or totally told off his boss or during his little "gently caress you" speech at the end you are probably a manchild.

mlmp08
Jul 11, 2004


Nap Ghost

Mr. Funny Pants posted:

Did you walk out before the end or is your memory that bad? And the normal guy who transforms into something else is an ancient story.

He still got the girl. Minor technicality. Normal guy transforming is fine, I'm all for those stories. poo poo, it's basically every superhero story ever and plus a bunch of others. This one was just done in an ultra-douchey, unsavory adolescent fantasy kind of way.

quote:

Or you thought it was cool because it was funny, not "awesome bitchin' I wish I could do that to my boss" cool.

Your opinion is wrong.

mlmp08
Jul 11, 2004


Nap Ghost

Inspector_71 posted:

That was the entire point of the movie. If you didn't like it then you didn't like it.

Well, yeah, I agree that the entire point of the movie was a look into the mind of a manchild's fantasy about violently loving up everyone who called him a dork and banging out a girl hotter than his girlfriend and that's why I'm saying it's bad... so, we agree?

That's kind of like telling someone who hated one of those PG-13 highschool comedies where the only lure is for freshmen in high school to see boobs that of course he hated it if he didn't want to consume total crap.

mlmp08
Jul 11, 2004


Nap Ghost

ahahahaha, not liking wanted means having lovely taste...

Ridiculous goofy action movies that didn't suck:
Shoot 'em Up
Kill Bill
Planet Terror
Crank*
Various classic Kung Fu movies


*I can understand why someone would dislike this pretty easily, but I liked it because it was hilarious

mlmp08
Jul 11, 2004


Nap Ghost

priznat, that's how I felt. It was more than watchable and not bad, really, but just underwhelming.

mlmp08
Jul 11, 2004


Nap Ghost

Nipponophile posted:

Again, we move into questions of taste. Different people like different things. Why is that so hard to understand?

I watched Shoot'em Up and enjoyed it for the brainless action movie that it was. My shooting buddy was sitting next to me and alternating between facepalms and screaming "GUNS DO NOT WORK THAT WAY!!!" through the whole film.

Personally, I found Kill Bill to be a giant steaming pile of ego from the most pretentious director of the modern age, with the added bonus of having to buy two tickets to see the entire movie.

Does this mean that I think you're an idiot with lovely taste? No, it just means that you like different stuff than me, and I can live with that.

Nah, with the vast majority of movies I just chalk it up to different tastes.

I have a special hatred for Wanted.

edit: My favorite line from Shoot Em Up, which was intentionally delivered horribly as if they'd grabbed a random woman off the street instead of an actress

edit2: It's the first clip in this youtube video
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1qJaADSMkzY

mlmp08 fucked around with this message at 22:50 on May 28, 2010

mlmp08
Jul 11, 2004


Nap Ghost

Inspector_71 posted:

I felt like the movie was more mocking the serious Brady-esque gun control people than it was people who like guns. The amount of totally impossible stuff capped off by "And that's why guns are bad!" reeks of the whole NIMBY-without-a-cause personality.

That's how I felt, more or less. At worst, they were mocking both extreme pro-gun gun-nerds who flip out about inaccuracies as well as people who think all guns are magical malicious killing devices.

Mostly, I thought it was about showing ridiculous action scenes while simultaneously mocking other action films. Almost more of a "your movie is retarded, but our movie is retarded AND funny" kind of angle.

mlmp08
Jul 11, 2004


Nap Ghost

The Automator posted:

Welp looks like I'm a manchild.

Wanting to bang a woman hotter than your girlfriend doesn't make you a manchild. Doing so in the angstiest, whiniest, most passive-aggressive turned actively aggressive way possible makes you a manchild.

Hope you're not still a manchild.

mlmp08
Jul 11, 2004


Nap Ghost

I was thinking about how so many movies and the show Lost in particular are guilty of having guns make weird clicking/racking/chambering noises every time they are swung around dramatically or aimed at someone and how that same principle applies to cars in so many shows or movie. For example, you'll see someone roll into a parking lot at 10 mph and then park normally, except there will be tire screeching noises and unnecessary engine revving/shifting.

If cars squealed like movie cars do, you'd be letting loose a rubbery shriek every time you turned at 20 mph.

mlmp08
Jul 11, 2004


Nap Ghost

Dr. Gojo Shioji posted:

I'm sure it's already been mentioned, but Hot Fuzz parodied this very well in the scene leading up to the grocery store shootout. When the cops were running up to the store there was an immense amount of shotgun pumping and handgun racking, which continues very loudly over the dialogue once they get to the store and start explaining the plan as well as once they actually go in.

Yeah, that scene cracked me up.

mlmp08
Jul 11, 2004


Nap Ghost

mng posted:

If a movie can't be improved by heavy drinking, something's wrong somewhere.

I can't imagine heavy drinking making Schindler's List, Shawshank Redemption, or 2001: A Space Odyssey better.

mlmp08
Jul 11, 2004


Nap Ghost

QuarkMartial posted:

Oh man... then you simply weren't drinking enough.

hahaha, ok. I could see heavy drinking making the end of 2001 awesome, but I'd fall asleep in before I got to the end if I was drinking and watching it.

mlmp08
Jul 11, 2004


Nap Ghost

I loved NCfOM, but The Road was just fantastic.

mlmp08
Jul 11, 2004


Nap Ghost

I felt bad for the protagonist's poor wife That character got owned in more ways than one and was perhaps easier to empathize with than most others.

mlmp08
Jul 11, 2004


Nap Ghost

wilfoy posted:

spoilers

but.... that's the entire loving point of the movie, isn't it?

Life's a bitch and then you die. Not everything works out awesome. One of my friends kept bitching that Tommy Lee Jones' chracter never did anything badass. Of course he didn't. How often would he have in real life?

mlmp08 fucked around with this message at 03:32 on May 31, 2010

mlmp08
Jul 11, 2004


Nap Ghost

but doing so off screen proved a point?

mlmp08
Jul 11, 2004


Nap Ghost

wilfoy posted:

Well you're in the minority because when I saw it almost everyone's reaction was "Wait, what happened? He just died?"

Minority ITT

mlmp08
Jul 11, 2004


Nap Ghost

iyaayas01 posted:

Two completely different movies. One of the main (if not the only) points of the Bourne series is the (extremely well done) action sequences. If you don't have those, you wouldn't have a movie. As you yourself indirectly admit, No Country for Old Men is about drama and the setup that leads to increased tension. Directly seeing that tension released isn't the point of the movie; the buildup is.

This. Further, I would argue that not getting to see the tension release is key to the message of the movie.

mlmp08
Jul 11, 2004


Nap Ghost

priznat posted:

I read that Liam Neeson is considering doing a sequel to Taken.. The original was pretty badass, retarded fun so I'm all for this.

Taken 2: The Retakening

Taken 2: Take Two.

Taken 2: Taken harder.

Taken 2: The Takenest.

Taken 2: Seriously, this time we're going to make it even more painfully clear how important VIRGINITY OF OUR WOMEN is as Liam Neeson murders hundreds of would-be rapists while all loose women get straight-fuckin-murdered.

Taken 2: Took (not the hobbit, you idiot)

mlmp08
Jul 11, 2004


Nap Ghost

Good:

In Kick-rear end, bullets come out of guns.

Bad:

Pretty much everything else firearm-related.

mlmp08
Jul 11, 2004


Nap Ghost

Mr. Funny Pants posted:

Imagine a sub-forum dedicated to zoology. Your post would be like a guy in that forum doing a, "Good/Bad" for The Lion King.

Good: Animals matured with time.

Bad: Animals talked and sang.

mlmp08
Jul 11, 2004


Nap Ghost

Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid

Good: They show that reloading six-shooters while taking cover and having been wounded is a time consuming bitch of a task.

Bad: Pretty sure there's like 12 shots in most of their revolvers, and Sundance is a magical shot, but that's kind of his schtick, so whatever.

Someone more knowledgeable who has seen it more recently than I will probably point out that the guns weren't proper period pieces.

mlmp08
Jul 11, 2004


Nap Ghost

Full disclosure: I've only seen parts of Taken, because I had to do work while my coworkers watched it. When I wasn't watching 10 minute patches, they were giving updates like:

"He's loving this guy up!

The slut got owned. Shouldn't have had so many dicks!

How has someone not raped that virgin chick yet?

OH poo poo HE hosed THAT GUY UP!"

Maybe I'll watch it in its entirety now.

Fake edit: about 15 seconds in and this guy is loving serious about wrapping his presents.

Real edit: I'm no longer upset about the virginity angle. I'm now more upset that the opening scenes are a bad ripoff of the opening scenes of the first Die Hard.

mlmp08 fucked around with this message at 23:08 on Jun 16, 2010

mlmp08
Jul 11, 2004


Nap Ghost

Roundboy posted:

I am trying to find details on taken 2: electric boogaloo

I hope the tagline is; someone has taken his daughters virginity, and he is going to get it back, at all costs.

That would be a great tagline.

Antagonist: How do you even take that back?!
Neesom-ator: You're about to find out.

THIS SUMMER

mlmp08
Jul 11, 2004


Nap Ghost

Nah, it's not so bad. I mean, it's not something I'd want to do mid fire-fight, but if you're sitting around in a foxhole all night, it shouldn't be too hard to delink some, especially if someone has a multi-tool.

mlmp08
Jul 11, 2004


Nap Ghost

Illegal Clown posted:

Yeah, shot placement I guess. It would have had to hit something to cause good secondary explosions. That's the only explanation I can think of.

The only explanation I can think of is that it's the loving A-team. You might as well complain that GI Joe or Charlie's Angels had incorrect firearm usage.

mlmp08
Jul 11, 2004


Nap Ghost

Ninja Bicyclist posted:

This. Also the fact that SAPI plates are usually ceramic means the chances you can melt them down makes this even more inconceivable.

Hilariously Bad: These short Modern Warfare 2 fan videos on Youtube.
Part 1
Part 2

Pretty much all of the guns are Airsoft with effects added in post. The 1st one isn't too bad, but the 2nd one shows more gaffs. To note: GhostSpectre's gun keeps switching from an M4 to a SCAR & an ACR, and unlike the 1st video where he's wearing knockoff Sordin's he's just wearing some basic earmuffs with a headset mic added.

Ok, this is starting to be akin to me pointing out that the kids playing cops and robbers were making terrible sound effects while they pantomimed handguns with their hands and fingers.

mlmp08
Jul 11, 2004


Nap Ghost

Sgt. Shaved Balls posted:

Book of Eli.

I'm very glad I saw Book of Eli while I drank beer and cleaned guns instead of it being a movie to which I actually paid full attention.

I mean, the twist was lame, and I kept thinking "maybe there's more to this than meets the eye" but there wasn't. At all.

mlmp08
Jul 11, 2004


Nap Ghost

iyaayas01 posted:

Quoting for truth. As I seem to recall, we were gizzing our pants over the very same video in another thread (the video thread, I think?) The effects are pretty drat impressive.

Yeah, I didn't realize til now just how limited their budget was. It's damned hard not to make things look stupidly cheesy without spending some serious cash.

And it's MW2 fan-movies, not like Band of Brothers fan-movies, so I think they get to be every bit as ridiculous as their source material.

edit: that said, they spent all that time and effort and couldn't come up with some drat rank, name tape, and patches for the soldier at the end of the clip?

mlmp08 fucked around with this message at 23:15 on Jun 18, 2010

mlmp08
Jul 11, 2004


Nap Ghost

I kind of wonder if other people whose hobbies and professions show up in movies all the time get as pissed off about them being done horribly as firearm enthusiasts do.

Do race car drivers and their crew chiefs sit around bitching and moaning about how stupid car stunts are and how those dumbasses put 1966 trim on that 1965 car?

How irritated do doctors get about all the stupid plot-point medicine and such?

I can imagine that IT people get very annoyed by the stupid rendition of hacking and general "COMPUTERS!!!!" you get in so many movies.

mlmp08
Jul 11, 2004


Nap Ghost

Mr. Despair posted:

Physicists just laugh at the absurdity of it all when we see stupid physics. I don't think I've ever seen anyone get angry when a movie depicts neutrinos boiling water or similar crazy things (2012 was supposed to be a comedy, right?).

Speaking of physics, one of the very last things I did before my flight back to the states from the Middle East was watch a bootleg copy of GI Joe with two platoons. Obviously, the entire movie is ridiculous and makes no real sense and is not based in reality. We were fine with that. In case you haven't seen it, toward the end someone blows up a big sheet of polar ice.

This results in huge chunks of ice sinking down and crushing watercraft and underwater buildings below.

As this is happening, an NCO suddenly yells out "HEYY! ICE DOESN'T SINK!!!" and after a pause a bunch of soldiers called out "Yeah!"

I found it amazing that we collectively dealt with how ridiculous everything was until that damned ice

mlmp08
Jul 11, 2004


Nap Ghost

Because in an action movie where the whole point is "badass guy kills motherfuckers" there's no reason why the writer would have to include a big lecture on "listen to your dad, don't be a slut, every single female character is a moron who was saved by a hardass MAN"

The same movie would've been much better if it was just some old spook enemy of his who took his daughter instead of the entire reason for all the bad things happening being the result of several different females making BAD MORAL CHOICES.

mlmp08
Jul 11, 2004


Nap Ghost

Cyrano4747 posted:

Pretty much this.

The whole sex slavery thing is necessary for three reasons.

They could have kept the entirety of the sex slavery ring and had the reason there's no ransom capability just be because some old enemy of his was pissed off, or Neeson had previously killed one of the guy's family members for the CIA or whatever.

The sex slavery ring wouldn't seem so ridiculous if the reasons why she was abducted weren't the following:

1. Ex-wife lied to Neeson.
2. Daughter lied to daddy.
3. Daughter hung out with slut.
4. Slut girl lied to everyone.
5. Stupid girls trusted cute boy.

Why couldn't it have just been:

1. Angry terrorist/crime guy says "You may not remember me, but you shouldn't have hosed with me back in the day. I stole your daughter, and I'm selling her into sex slavery as payback. Suck a dick!"

And then Neeson could be all "I don't know who you are. I don't know what you want. If you are looking for ransom, I can tell you I don't have money. But what I do have are a very particular set of skills; skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you let my daughter go now, that'll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you. But if you don't, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will kill you."

mlmp08
Jul 11, 2004


Nap Ghost

Actually, the best ending of taken would be if it was all an elaborate ploy he planned to teach his daughter a lesson about responsibility.

The men he killed were worth the life lesson.

mlmp08 fucked around with this message at 21:44 on Jun 22, 2010

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mlmp08
Jul 11, 2004


Nap Ghost

chairface posted:

Oh no, if only my daughter hadn't been a skank, this poor man would still have his arm!

And that's why you don't teach your kids lessons.


Arrested Development?

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