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Caro, you've got a bone to pick with the police, with the CIA, with doctors, psychiatrists, members of authority in general, and with those assholes who keep broadcasting words into your head. You sent me a PM requesting permission to call out one of the forum Cops- well, here is your chance to call him out! This is a mod challenge, and you have your choice of 3 ways to avoid a ban. If any one of the three are successfully completed, you will not be banned: 1) Challenge a forum cop to a boxing match, with at least two other forum members attending the match as witnesses. The match must adhere to AAU, Golden Gloves or USA Boxing rules. If the challenge is not accepted, or is accepted and you lose, you get banned. If the challenge is accepted and you win, you'll be allowed to post in the Police thread again. (This is not a carte blanche to troll/flame, and forum rules will still apply, but you'll be cut some slack for your considerable efforts.) High-quality video of the match must be posted. 2) Post a letter from a qualified and licensed psychiatrist, dated after today, that states that you are not suffering from any delusions or paranoia. This letter must be verifiable. (You may PM me the Dr's contact information.) 3) Video or a series of at least 10 still photos of you streaking a police station whilst giving the finger with both hands to every uniformed officer you see. The police station must be clearly identifiable, and at least 2 uniformed officers visible. A verifiable police report of the incident must also be provided. You have until 9PM EST on July 24th to complete this challenge. If the boxing match is accepted, we will consider the planned date of the match, and extend the deadline. Update: Caro is unable to complete the first challenge, and unwilling to complete challenges 2 or 3. This challenge is over. grover fucked around with this message at 14:28 on Jul 10, 2010 |
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Jun 19, 2010 13:49
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I can get behind this.
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Jun 19, 2010 15:29
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TOP SECRET CIA MEMO A2-B4345.1 posted:Hey, Gee someone left something in my inbox! I nethier condone or condemn this action, and I was never here, and was never a part of this. Thesoldier fucked around with this message at 18:03 on Jun 19, 2010 |
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Jun 19, 2010 17:51
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grover posted:Caro, you've got a bone to pick with the police, with the CIA, with doctors, psychiatrists, members of authority in general, and with those assholes who keep broadcasting words into your head. You sent me a PM requesting permission to call out one of the forum Cops- well, here is your chance to call him out! This is a mod challenge, and you have your choice of 3 ways to avoid a ban. If any one of the three are successfully completed, you will not be banned: I choose Cmdr. Shepherd and assent to the rules offered. I have no camera with which to shoot the high quality video. If somebody is willing to provide one, or even better, use their cruiser camera, I'm in. We WILL need release forms and probably some kind of license. I choose Golden Gloves. To clarify, when I sent you that PM requesting to challenge Cmdr. Shepherd to a fistfight, I was mainly focusing on that. I am not striking one back for the little guy against the man. I'm beating up a lovely gangbanging cop in front of all of his friends because of all the poo poo he's talked. But only if he agrees. This will be bigger than Lowtax versus Uwe Boll. grover posted:2) Post a letter from a qualified and licensed psychiatrist, dated after today, that states that you are not suffering from any delusions or paranoia. This letter must be verifiable. (You may PM me the Dr's contact information.) We're going to have to flex on this one. I don't have health insurance yet. That happens in thirty days. As for it being verifiable? Well, I'd have to waive HIPAA protections globally. We can reduce this down to this: A court has not adjudicated me mentally incompetent and I swear on my goon honor that a psychiatrist has certified me as sane. A good one. Big office. Large university affiliation. Recent. If I go crazy or something, well, we're surrounded by cops. It'll be fine. Also independent observers so they can't just dogpile me if I make their boy cry under the rules of boxing and accuse me of 'not stopping' or 'attacking the ref'. grover posted:3) Video or a series of at least 10 still photos of you streaking a police station whilst giving the finger with both hands to every uniformed officer you see. The police station must be clearly identifiable, and at least 2 uniformed officers visible. A verifiable police report of the incident must also be provided. Illegal contract conditions are unenforceable. Know your law! Do you want this to happen or not? Be serious. grover posted:You have until 9PM EST on July 24th to complete this challenge. If the boxing match is accepted, we will consider the planned date of the match, and extend the deadline. We should talk weight class and reach at this point. If we end up going to points scoring because I can't manage a knockout or TKO we may want to handicap Cmdr. Shepherd to see that things are good and fair, even though he's already disclaimed himself of that. We should also pick glove weight now. What say you, Cmdr. Shepherd? Will you face me under the conditions outlined in the first section? edit: Also.. grover posted:with doctors, psychiatrists, members of authority in general, and with those assholes who keep broadcasting words into your head. Just... no. Caro fucked around with this message at 18:26 on Jun 19, 2010 |
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Jun 19, 2010 18:03
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Thesoldier posted:Gee someone left something in my inbox! Well this should be interesting.
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Jun 19, 2010 18:04
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Caro posted:Illegal contract conditions are unenforceable. Know your law! Do you want this to happen or not? Be serious. If you can demonstrate you have an appointment with a psychiatrist slightly outside the 30-day window and are choosing that option, I may be persuaded to stretch the deadline a bit. You'll have to suck it up and not quit your job in the meantime, though. And this isn't a contract, this is a mod challenge.
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Jun 19, 2010 18:10
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grover posted:Mod challenges generally have a nude option. You don't have to do it if you don't want to, that's why there are 3 options. OH, I get to pick one. I thought that was me having to complete a series of challenges before I can reach Cmdr. Shepherd should he accept, game of death style. Yeah, I pick #1. I challenge Cmdr. Shepherd. He's not going to accept, is he? Oh, and no on the 10 oz gloves. Golden gloves rules mandate 16 oz gloves. Caro fucked around with this message at 18:19 on Jun 19, 2010 |
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Jun 19, 2010 18:15
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I will offer to draft all the releases necessary. In addition, if the boxing match takes place somewhere in the vicinity of Northern----- actually gently caress it, if it takes place at all in the Maryland, West Virginia, Virginia, DC, or Delaware area, I will film it. In HD.
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Jun 19, 2010 18:20
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SWATJester posted:I will offer to draft all the releases necessary. Yeah, we'll have to decide on a site for the bout as well. I'm in San Diego. We should have a paramedic on site in case it turns out he's super fat and he ends up having a heart attack or something. Caro fucked around with this message at 18:23 on Jun 19, 2010 |
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Jun 19, 2010 18:21
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Ya'll might want to wait to see if Cmdr. Shepard accepts the challenge before spending too much time on the details. All cops should probably be in uniform and wearing body armor and have your sidearms, in case Caro is really just using this as an elaborate setup to go all Columbine on your asses. Paramedic sounds like a good idea, too. grover fucked around with this message at 18:27 on Jun 19, 2010 |
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Jun 19, 2010 18:24
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^^^^^^^^ Oh, whatever. Just safeties and trigger discipline if they want to do that though I would rather they didn't because that's just sort of gay. Or they can show up after I do and I'm all taped into my gloves and waiting. Yes, we should have a fight doctor if possible. And don't they already hang out together in one spot for long periods of time already? You know, police stations? I was hoping for the police observers to be uniformed anyway.  I do not want to get shot. Try not to rile them.Truthfully, this is specific to Cmdr. Shepherd. Check out TheSoldier's post. BritCop is awesome. TheSoldier? Good even-keel guy. Cmdr. Shepherd? Captain Insaneo. grover posted:Ya'll might want to wait to see if Cmdr. Shepard accepts the challenge before spending too much time on the details. Sorry. Getting ahead of myself. Visualizing my fists sending blast waves through his fat like 2000 pound bombs falling on a humid jungle. Either that or getting straight up knocked out.   I don't know what this guy looks like. Just that I do not like him, and believe he needs to be punched in the face according to Golden Gloves rules.Yes, I will insist on two forms of ID, one photo. Man I hope he says yes. This is exactly what police / civilian relations on SA needs. You know that it will settle things. You know this. That's how sanctioned matches with definite ends work. Caro fucked around with this message at 18:44 on Jun 19, 2010 |
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Jun 19, 2010 18:28
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I will drive from San Francisco to any point in California, or possibly even Nevada, to see the opportunity to see Caro unload on someone, as long as the someone is not me.
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Jun 19, 2010 18:37
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Quarterly Prophet posted:I will drive from San Francisco to any point in California, or possibly even Nevada, to see the opportunity to see Caro unload on someone, as long as the someone is not me. You know he might beat the poo poo out of me, too. I told you that I don't know what this guy's skill level is. Moreover, he may not even accept.
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Jun 19, 2010 18:41
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I have subscribed to this thread.
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Jun 19, 2010 18:51
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I guess I should read the police thread
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Jun 19, 2010 18:59
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Slippery posted:I have subscribed to this thread. If he accepts, will you be my corner man?
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Jun 19, 2010 19:01
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It's a shame it isn't mma instead of boxing. Eagerly awaiting an acceptance to the challenge.
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Jun 19, 2010 19:02
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I'm willing to donate 10 dollars for an airplane ticket fund.
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Jun 19, 2010 19:14
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invision posted:I'm willing to donate 20 dollars for an airplane ticket fund.
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Jun 19, 2010 19:23
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Caro posted:If he accepts, will you be my corner man? Depends where/when it is.
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Jun 19, 2010 19:59
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I'm glad this is boxing rather than MMA, though it'd be a shame to see the "sweet science" turned into downs science. You really should both have experienced corner crew, and there should be at LEAST one qualified ring doctor. I'd hate to see a couple goons seriously injure each other because they wanted to play pugilist without realizing how dangerous amateur and unsanctioned boxing matches can be. Also, realize that "grudge matches" tend to see a bit of nastiness in terms of low blows and other shenanigans. That said, are mod challenges still open for ANYONE to complete? Or is that only when the challenge doesn't have its own thread?
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Jun 19, 2010 21:08
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I'll donate 10 bucks to the airplane ticket fund, should the need arise. As long as we get video of said fight.
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Jun 19, 2010 22:21
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Hot drat. I'm gonna have to go back and read that thread, I guess.
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Jun 19, 2010 22:50
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Illegibly Eligible posted:I'm glad this is boxing rather than MMA, though it'd be a shame to see the "sweet science" turned into downs science. You really should both have experienced corner crew, and there should be at LEAST one qualified ring doctor. I'd hate to see a couple goons seriously injure each other because they wanted to play pugilist without realizing how dangerous amateur and unsanctioned boxing matches can be. Also, realize that "grudge matches" tend to see a bit of nastiness in terms of low blows and other shenanigans. They both ought to get several months of boxing training so this isn't a complete waste of time. Also what about their weights? And what about the fact the PO in question probably has more training than Caro can get in that amount of time? (Unless Caro does have a boxing background.) Fighting is fun. But setting up a fight between two people with disparraging weight classes and experience levels is just a cowardly thing to do. Senor P. fucked around with this message at 23:12 on Jun 19, 2010 |
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Jun 19, 2010 22:59
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Senor P. posted:They both ought to get several months of boxing training so this isn't a complete waste of time. Also what about their weights? And what about the fact the PO in question probably has more training than Caro can get in that amount of time? (Unless Caro does have a boxing background.) Caro wants to box though. He's a big boy and can make his own decisions.
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Jun 19, 2010 23:13
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I find this to be a very interesting and fair turn of events. And Caro called him out, so he had better know how to box, you don't call out a boxing match if you don't know how!
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Jun 19, 2010 23:16
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Regardless of Caro's 'rational' choice. Does not excuse the fact of possibly making a one sided match. You say Caro is a big boy, an adult... so you're saying he is a sane and rational person capable of making sane and rational decisions? I would strongly disagree.
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Jun 19, 2010 23:37
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Senor P. posted:Regardless of Caro's 'rational' choice. Does not excuse the fact of possibly making a one sided match. Well he doesn't want to do the psychiatrist thing so I guess we'll never know.
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Jun 19, 2010 23:44
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Senor P. posted:Regardless of Caro's 'rational' choice. Does not excuse the fact of possibly making a one sided match. Okay, so its a beatdown. Either way, if you challenge someone to a boxing match, EXPECT that you are going to box them. IF he didn't, then tough luck. Maybe now that he knows he is going to box someone he will start training CommieGIR fucked around with this message at 01:47 on Jun 20, 2010 |
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Jun 19, 2010 23:45
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Godholio posted:Hot drat. I'm gonna have to go back and read that thread, I guess. http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3219776&pagenumber=8&perpage=40#post374153415 http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3219776&pagenumber=15&perpage=40#post376553037 http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3219776&pagenumber=23&perpage=40#post378197193
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Jun 20, 2010 01:08
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krylex posted:It's a shame it isn't mma instead of boxing. Eagerly awaiting an acceptance to the challenge. Eh, I'd do pretty well, actually. Illegibly Eligible posted:I'm glad this is boxing rather than MMA, though it'd be a shame to see the "sweet science" turned into downs science. You really should both have experienced corner crew, and there should be at LEAST one qualified ring doctor. I'd hate to see a couple goons seriously injure each other because they wanted to play pugilist without realizing how dangerous amateur and unsanctioned boxing matches can be. Also, realize that "grudge matches" tend to see a bit of nastiness in terms of low blows and other shenanigans. If you met me in person you would change your mind. My conditioning is top rate though my hand to hand experience is a bit dated. I never stopped drilling, however. I can REALLY punch, for example. I have strength. Stamina. This is probably me close to peak badass. 150 pounds. 5'7". I'm solid muscle. He'll outweigh me, but it won't be useful weight. My plan is to run his fat, MMO playing rear end around the ring just like I used to back in the day and wait for him to run out of gas after the first sixty seconds of round one. Then I'm going to line my punches up and chop his rear end down at my leisure. My chin will be tucked, I'll be staring at him through my eyebrows. My legs will not be dead but alive and dynamic. I won't telegraph. That jaw of his? Let's just say that my intention is to flush his toilet as hard as possible. I strongly concur with the corner teams and fight doc. Training lead time would probably help everyone. Not too much. I have that PRK surgery I want to get in, so I'd like to get it done sooner rather than later. We WILL require a very good ref. If he's as inexperienced (or crooked) as I suspect he'll foul me a lot. Unacceptable. We'll need a ref to call him out on that poo poo. Look, calling out a lovely cop is all fun but I'd rather not end his life. I've seen splenetic ruptures and crap like that go really bad really fast. Fight doc. If he suddenly goes 'ARGH' and grabs his left shoulder I don't want everybody staring at him while he dies. Proper sanctioned bout with proper safety equipment. edit: Do you think we can get a doctor from 'The Goon Doctor' to run this part? He needs to be able to treat facial cuts (on Cmdr. Shepherd. I've never cut. Not once. Good collagen.) and also evaluate 'fight stopping' conditions like standing ten counts and ruptured spleens and so on. No naming of champions, either. I'm going to insist on two forms of ID. I pledge no dirty boxing. No hooks that turn into elbows. No low blows. No eye socket grinding. No chin pecking. If he goes all dirty, pack it in and charge him with assault like you normally do at a boxing match where one guy goes crazy. End of story. Likewise me, but I'd rather get knocked out first so I doubt it will be an issue. We may even want to make deliberate fouls punishable by permaban. You'll know them when you see them. Caro fucked around with this message at 02:36 on Jun 20, 2010 |
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Jun 20, 2010 02:12
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Thank you Grover, and thank you Popular Threads function!
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Jun 20, 2010 02:14
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Caro posted:Yeah, we'll have to decide on a site for the bout as well. I'm in San Diego. We should have a paramedic on site in case it turns out he's super fat and he ends up having a heart attack or something. I also have LEO friends in this area and I can bring a couple of them along to serve as additional witnesses if no parties object and getting GiP Forum members to attend somehow becomes problematic.
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Jun 20, 2010 02:33
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Cat Ninja posted:I'm new to GiP and have absolutely nothing to do with this thread in question, but if this takes place in the Los Angeles - San Diego area, I am willing to attend in full uniform as one of the witnesses. Getting time off will be no problem. I will also consider travel to Las Vegas as well since I have business there. I'd film it but my last digicam blew out in the sandbox and I don't currently have a replacement. Yes please. We want to run this like a proper boxing match. I don't want any riots or poo poo like that. If he wins, he wins. If he loses, he loses. The story of myself and Cmdr. Shepherd ends there. This is also probably going to end up being modified golden gloves as we've already waived weight class and he's almost sure to be a tremendous fatbody. I will be shocked if he is not. Remember, this is boxing and not murder. Somebody goes down and the fight stops. Towel gets thrown and the fight stops. Doc says it's over and the fight stops. Just like any other boxing match. With a little luck I will knock him out and then he will piss himself in front of everybody and we can all take pictures and sticky them. He may also whoop me, so it goes both ways. I have gotten rocked by a fatty before. It's not that they can't punch, it's that they run out of gas. You still have to tuck that chin and keep that guard up. edit: I also motion that we figure out some kind of sponsorship or pledge system with all proceeds going to an appropriate charity. Also that Cmdr. Shepherd man the gently caress up and accept already. If I win, we're donating it to a charity that assists members of the armed forces. More of you need to not die and make it into college. My personal favorite is the american snipers program but if you have other suggestions I am all ears. If he wins, he may select a charity of his choosing. It is super important that this fight be clean. If he dishonors himself he dishonors all police and does nothing to show that they are anything other than what he has said they are. If I dishonor myself I basically validate all of the crazy poo poo he's said by demonstrating what uncontrollable criminal monsters all non-police are. It really does have to go right in that regard, no matter who ends up sucking canvas (or matting, depends on venue). If he pisses in his pants I am taking a picture. Caro fucked around with this message at 04:13 on Jun 20, 2010 |
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Jun 20, 2010 02:37
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I live in San Diego, and I'll do anything I can to help. I just find the situation interesting.
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Jun 20, 2010 04:27
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natetimm posted:I live in San Diego, and I'll do anything I can to help. I just find the situation interesting. Well, he has to accept the challenge first. I'm sure both parties will accept trainers and so forth. I need a guy to work mitts with, somebody to hold the bag, and certified sparring partners. No crippling me before the match- I have to make it to the ring injury free for a good bout. So... ACTUAL sparring partners. Likewise a good boxing coach. I am also trying for charity pledges, charity determined by ballot from contributors. I'd like to donate it to an armed forces charity but ultimately I will listen to the people who contribute money so long as they aren't supporting something completely outside of the scope of my ideals like the KKK or something. If he accepts I would greatly appreciate some help from the moderators to run this. Just to keep it from growing crazy we should start out with a narrow field of charities and allow people to pick from the list if they want to participate. The ACLU (probably), various military charities, etc. This is going to be a clean fight. In the event of some kind of bout catastrophe that causes an indeterminate ending the proceeds will simply be divided. \/\/\/\/\/\/ Caro fucked around with this message at 04:38 on Jun 20, 2010 |
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Jun 20, 2010 04:33
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I'm a little surprised that anyone would go through with this over 
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Jun 20, 2010 04:33
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Caro posted:Well, he has to accept the challenge first. I'm sure both parties will accept trainers and so forth. I need a guy to work mitts with, somebody to hold the bag, and certified sparring partners. No crippling me before the match- I have to make it to the ring injury free for a good bout. So... ACTUAL sparring partners. Likewise a good boxing coach. Yeah, I'm not a boxing coach or anything like that. I have no experience in sports that involve fighting unless you include water polo.
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Jun 20, 2010 04:39
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natetimm posted:Yeah, I'm not a boxing coach or anything like that. I have no experience in sports that involve fighting unless you include water polo. Hmm. Well, no worries. We'll know how everything settles down if/when he accepts. Until then we won't need to plan anything. Thank you very much for your offer. I'll keep it in mind and let you know if I think of anything! Caro fucked around with this message at 04:44 on Jun 20, 2010 |
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Jun 20, 2010 04:41
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Caro posted:Hmm. Well, no worries. We'll know how everything settles down if/when he accepts. Until then we won't need to plan anything. Thank you very much for your offer. I'll keep it in mind and let you know if I think of anything! I've lived in San diego for my whole life, so if you need help looking for a venue/services etc. let me know.
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Jun 20, 2010 04:47
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