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Drewski
Apr 15, 2005

Good thing Vader didn't touch my bike. Good thing for him.
Hi folks! I'm a term Army civilian who's looking to transfer into a permanent status. I'm also a vet (served 1997-2003, honorable discharge) which is awesome for preference. I know I qualify for 5-point preference, but I *think* I qualify for VRA. If that's the case, I should be able to get a job non-competitively, which is awesome. I'm not disabled, but I did deploy to Yugoslavia for Operation Joint Forge and earned these medals: National Defense Service Medal, Armed Forces Expeditionary Medal, NATO Medal.

Does anyone know if I qualify based on this criteria?

"Veterans who served on active duty in the Armed Forces during a war, or in a campaign or expedition for which a campaign badge has been authorized"

Thanks very much.

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Drewski
Apr 15, 2005

Good thing Vader didn't touch my bike. Good thing for him.

Evil SpongeBob posted:

http://www.fedshirevets.gov/job/vetpref/index.aspx

Edit: If you qualify for 5 or 10 points, then you qualify for VRA.

If that's the case, then why even have two programs? There's got to be something that differentiates between the two, because VEOA is still competitive (5-10 point bonus), whereas VRA-eligible vets can be hired non-competitively.

edit: I appreciate your help, but seriously, stupid confusing government!

edit 2: I think I have the answer:

VRA eligible: Under Public Law 107-288 the following veterans are eligible for a non-competitive Veteran Recruitment Appointment (VRA):
Disabled Veterans; or Veterans who have been awarded a Campaign Badge, Armed Forces Expeditionary Medal (AFEM), or Armed Forces Service
Medal (AFEM); or recently separated veterans. Recently separated veterans are defined as those who have separated from active service within the
last three years. There are no time restrictions on appointment of the first two categories of veterans. There are no length of service requirements for
all three categories of veterans. The maximum grade level at which appointments may be made is GS-11. Veterans must meet meet all qualification
requirements. If selected, you will be required to submit Page 4 of DD214, Certificate of Discharge.

VEOA eligible:

To be eligible for a VEOA appointment, an applicant must:

Be a preference eligible OR veteran separated from the armed forces after 3 or more years of continuous active service performed under honorable conditions. Veterans who were released shortly before completing a 3-year tour are considered to be eligible. ("Active service" defined in title 37, United States Code, means active duty in the uniformed services and includes full-time training duty, annual training duty, full-time National Guard duty, and attendance, while in the active service, at a school designated as a service school by law or by the Secretary of the military department concerned).


So it looks like they make special exception for veterans who saw combat, or are disabled or recently transitioned to civilian life.

Drewski fucked around with this message at 07:19 on Apr 16, 2011

Drewski
Apr 15, 2005

Good thing Vader didn't touch my bike. Good thing for him.

Tortilla Maker posted:

Your first day will likely consist of filling out a lot of paperwork and watching a lot of powerpoint slides and videos on the intranet. They'll allot the entire day for this and you'll probably finish in half the time. Chat it up with your co-workers. No luck needed on the first day.

The place I work at literally had 2 weeks of new employee orientation. Death by PowerPoint.

Then it was another month after that before I could get network access... Something about needing my info updated in DEERS. Or maybe that was just an excuse they made up. They hired appr. 300 people at the same time.

Drewski
Apr 15, 2005

Good thing Vader didn't touch my bike. Good thing for him.

psydude posted:

I'm not too worried. I've got 4 months of active duty pay to land a job; hopefully the feds call me back in that time.

I had this idea too back when I got out of AD. I also had unemployment to last me. I'd been discussing a job with the FBI at the time, and it ended up taking them 18 months to verify a two week lapse in my security clearance. After a few months, I got fed up with waiting and started going to school and took a throwaway job at Starbucks. I forgot about the FBI and just started doing what I needed to move forward with my life. I ended up with an Associate's in business management from the local community college, and then the HR person I'd been speaking with at the FBI got back to me that April.

"Hi Drewski, I know we haven't talked in awhile but I just wanted to let you know that we processed your security clearance. I do have some bad news, though. The position you applied for has already been filled due to urgent requirements. Please feel free to apply for any other FBI jobs though!"

What really struck me was that:
1 - If there were 'urgent' requirements, they couldn't expedite my clearance.
2 - They didn't tell me right away that the position had been filled.
3 - They continued to process my clearance even after the position was filled. I mean, that's good for me because active clearance is awesome... but still.

After 18 months, I wasn't about to have any of it, so I looked around at colleges I could apply for. The only one still accepting applications was the University of Southern California. Lucky for me that I applied and got in! So it turns out my 'throwaway job' became my main source of income for 3+ years while I made my way through college.

After I got out of college, I did end up working for the FBI as a contract translator. At first I loved it but after about 6 months I started hating and dreading every second of going into work. I was eventually fed up and left. I should've known since it was such a pain in the rear end the first time around.

Now I work as a civilian for the Army doing awesome stuff. Love the job. Unfortunately I'm only GWOT term, so I'm looking every day at USAJOBS still.

Drewski
Apr 15, 2005

Good thing Vader didn't touch my bike. Good thing for him.
Anyone got experience with the VA? I just got referred to a program analyst intern position in Portland :D

I am wondering how quick the VA is to respond to referrals?

Drewski
Apr 15, 2005

Good thing Vader didn't touch my bike. Good thing for him.
How long was the period of time between when the announcement closed and when you received your referral notification?

edit: And was it for a single position or for multiple openings?


edit 2 - thanks.

Drewski fucked around with this message at 23:10 on May 6, 2011

Drewski
Apr 15, 2005

Good thing Vader didn't touch my bike. Good thing for him.
How soon is 'too soon' to email about a federal job? It's been a bit over two weeks. Does emailing the hiring guy and saying I'm interested have any weight on selection processes?

Drewski
Apr 15, 2005

Good thing Vader didn't touch my bike. Good thing for him.
Thanks for the information.

CheshireCat posted:

I don't think he's even interviewed for the position yet, only applied.

Applied and referred to the hiring manager.

I suppose the POC listed on the job opening is more of an HR person than a hiring manager though, so I suppose emailing would not have much of an effect.

I emailed the POC once before the listing expired, explaining that I had uploaded my college transcripts which were "expired" - it was a digitally signed PDF that my university sold me which has a one-year expiration date that I didn't know about, after which it cannot be opened. So I wanted to explain that I had uploaded a second set of transcripts and couldn't delete documents from the applicationmanager.gov website after they were uploaded. He emailed me back to tell me that it wouldn't be a problem.


I also discussed my situation with my supervisor. As a term employee, I really have no choice but to apply to as many positions as I can to get permanent status. He spoke with my director and they discussed that I have been referred to other positions. I think he's going the VRA direct-appointment route and getting me permanent status before I take a permanent position elsewhere because he asked for my DD214. So hopefully I'll get permanent status one way or the other.

Drewski
Apr 15, 2005

Good thing Vader didn't touch my bike. Good thing for him.
Same story here. Referred to a position with the VA, haven't heard anything in a month and a half so I emailed the HR POC to mention that I was very interested and wondering if it had been filled. He told me the hiring official had not made any selection yet.

I should have known that this would take a while as it had happened once before, but I was hoping that it was an isolated incident... I was previously offered a GS-7 intel analyst position at DHS 10 months after I applied for it. By then I'd already moved 600 miles, taken a GS-11 position and forgot about this entirely.

Drewski fucked around with this message at 19:58 on Jun 2, 2011

Drewski
Apr 15, 2005

Good thing Vader didn't touch my bike. Good thing for him.

Eonwe posted:

See, the problem with the Wikileaks stuff isn't that I browsed the Wikileaks site or posted links from their site onto my page. The problem is I was linking from like the New York Times or Der Speigel. I realize that it was likely a major indiscretion on my part, but I have to wonder how many people this is going to affect. I realize this likely goes beyond the context of this thread, but its almost as if it would be illegal for you as a federal employee to read the New York Times at the height of the Wikileaks stuff simply because they were posting and discussing classified information.

I realize its a gray area, so thank you for clarifying as much as you have.

Federal employees aren't barred from wikileaks to my knowledge... They just aren't authorized to do so on government computers. Although the information is readily available, that's spillage of classified information onto an unclassified computer.

Drewski
Apr 15, 2005

Good thing Vader didn't touch my bike. Good thing for him.
Oh my dear God. I just had my midpoint evaluation. It turns out that while my supervisor sat down with all of his ratees and worked out manageable, achievable goals and standards, my director intervened and overwrote everything we came up with:

my boss posted:

Fully support new product briefings by preparing the statement of work, schedule, and cost plans in a power point format as scheduled and briefing your program slides. Measurement will if presentation material is ready prior to briefings and if you brief your new programs thoroughly to management.

Fully support the cost estimate process by (1) Following the <snip> Cost Estimate with GAO Document (stored on SharePoint) process, (2) ensuring all cost estimates are entered into <snip> SharePoint log, (3) development a through Statement of Work (SOW), (4) ensuring all stakeholders as needed are brought into the effort, (5) Indentify assumptions, (6) prepare cost estimate, (7) and getting the final signed cost estimate to the customer on-time, late is after 14 days. Measurement will be the cost estimate log.

Program/Project Management of the individual customer funded programs for cost, schedule and quality. Specifically (1) managing the cost each week by communicating to appropriate levels when costs are not being transacted correctly and following up to ensure correction, (2) monitoring production orders completion times to ensure they match customer and system dates and communicating appropriately when schedules are not meeting expectations. Measurement will be as identified in the weekly review.

Preparation of weekly production charts in support of the weekly review and monthly Weekly Production Update (WPU) to <snip> on time. Measurement will be if the charts are prepared on time and accurately.

Participation, preparation, and follow through In Process Reviews (IPT) and teleconferences with the customers. Specifically, (1) ensuring there are meeting minutes (2) action items with due dates and responsible persons assigned, (3) negotiation of suspense dates before they become due if more time is needed (4) working all actions try to delight the customer. Measurement will the meeting minutes and number of actions completed on time.

To close project records with your employee number within 30-days of completion ensuring all costs has been transacted first. Measurement will be project systems records.

Timely responses to customer inquiries and requests by specifically (1) ensuring all requests do not answer within 2-3 hours or by the end of the day all are added to SharePoint Customer Request Status Tracker (2) prioritizing your work to meet the customer requests, or (3) seeing your lead or supervisor to have tasks level loaded among other personnel to ensure the division meets customer expectations. Measurement will be the tracker report."

This is verbatim minus identifying information. From a GS-13. How the gently caress. Can I non-concur?

Edit: I wrote non-concur on my form when I initialed the part III. But I don't know if that means anything.

Drewski fucked around with this message at 02:43 on Jun 22, 2011

Drewski
Apr 15, 2005

Good thing Vader didn't touch my bike. Good thing for him.

grover posted:

Besides needing some proofreading, I don't see anything wrong with what your director wrote. This looks like typical post-NSPS evaluation language. Which is to say it reads like crap, but is measurable. I bet if you go back through what you and your supervisor wrote, there's a lot of subjectivity required. You can always appeal to your director's supervisor if you're unhappy, but you don't get to write your job objectives, your boss does unilaterally.

Just be glad NSPS is gone and it's all pass-fail now.

First, please let me say that I hope I'm not coming across as a lovely employee. I actually have a lot of satisfaction with the work I perform, and love my job because it directly involves the health of soldiers out in the sandbox. And despite my unhappiness about my eval, I care about my organization and want to support the Army missions. It's just so disheartening to think about what my organization could be, then see what looks like the stereotypical "federal employee slacker" mindset in so many other people around me when I'm busting my rear end every day, THEN get something like that from my boss.

I'd like to say that I don't think there was hardly any objectivity in the goals my supervisor and I worked on, but they aren't available to me any longer. I also thought the goals were supposed to be personalized for me, and also include personal/professional development. For example, I remember that one of my goals was to take a set number of Project Management certification courses. Maybe we're not supposed to have developmental goals? I don't know why my director changed the goals, but they are verbatim for every single person in my division. Well, regardless of whether or not it's a goal in my eval, I've been working on the PMI certs anyway.

But my biggest concern is that if I'm applying for other federal positions that require my most recent evaluation, I'm going to cringe every time I have to provide this. The errors and language are an embarrassment for both my organization and myself. My performance report last year was stellar. Could using this new one cost me a position elsewhere? If you were a hiring manager and saw an eval with that language, what would you do?

In the long run I think it's best if I attempt to correct this, but there is no reason whatsoever a GS-13 should be making these kind of basic spelling and grammatical errors, especially not on official documentation. It looks sloppy and unprofessional, like something that could be thrown together in 5 minutes. Plus I think the language is 'off'. "Delight the customer"? I'm an Army civilian program manager in a 0346 Logistics Management Specialist position and my customer is the Army/DoD. The Army doesn't get 'delighted'.

There are several other things I do like about the job. I've been there less than 2 years but already I'm the one person they send new employees to for training. We moved to a new software suite and I've done a lot to try to learn it and understand it... And after 8 months of working with it, I can say that I'm probably one of the most knowledgeable in my group. I appreciate the fact that my management thinks that I'm a good trainer. Plus if I can do whatever I can do to instill a good work ethic in the people I train, you can bet I'm going to try to do it. I think it's really important for new employees to be introduced to someone who is passionate about the job because I think it really does rub off.

From an organizational perspective, it's great. But sometimes my projects suffer as a result. I already work a lot of overtime, so am I supposed to take time from my work day to try to correct my boss? I suppose if I can't fix it at work, then I should fix it at home... It is in my own best interest, after all. Actually, it will probably take me less time to correct it than it took to write this post, so I should just shut up, man up, stop complaining, and get started.

Drewski fucked around with this message at 03:29 on Jun 29, 2011

Drewski
Apr 15, 2005

Good thing Vader didn't touch my bike. Good thing for him.

Fourth Wall posted:

:words: (snipped for brevity)

Well like I said, I have to provide my latest employee evaluation for my federal job applications. I love my job right now but I'm a GWOT Term employee which means that I was brought on for a maximum of 4 years. Additionally, I can be released at the end of each year that I am working if there is no longer a need. So I have been busting my rear end to make sure that I'm one of the most critical people available in my division. I get all the benefits of permanent status minus the ability to buy back my military service for my retirement package. Regardless, as my boss' boss told me, "You may like your job, but if you stay where you are there is no light at the end of the tunnel."

So while I love my job I have been applying to every job that fits me under the sun. For now I'm sticking to locations I would prefer (Socal, Austin/San Antonio, Portland, Seattle, Vancouver, Germany) but after my third year is up I'm going to send my application in for every single position I qualify for.

Like I said before, I'm worried that if my organization's documentation is this, uh, irregular, that may reflect on myself as well. I'm just not sure.

And the coolest thing about my job is the vast quantities of materials available for self improvement, free. We get Skillsoft courses, thousands of books, and every single Rosetta Stone free through a system called Army Knowledge Online (AKO). Usually that kind of development is highly encouraged. Needless to say, I'm doing a ton of stuff at home.

Drewski
Apr 15, 2005

Good thing Vader didn't touch my bike. Good thing for him.
Woot! My boss FINALLY offered me a VRA appointment. Nothing quite like circumventing the hiring process :D

Drewski
Apr 15, 2005

Good thing Vader didn't touch my bike. Good thing for him.

Scooter_McCabe posted:

Just got the email today. They found that I was eligible for the position and I have been referred to the selecting official. I had to read that part twice, after seeing so many eligible but not referred notices this was a nice surprise. So what happens next? Do I get an interview and if that works out an offer or is there still 5000 steps to go on the never ending escalator to government employment?

It's pretty frustrating. Sometimes you get your score and sometimes you don't. Sometimes you get the referral letter, sometimes you get a non-referral letter, and sometimes you don't get anything at all. I'm sitting on an email saying I scored 98 for a GS9/12 position, but it doesn't say whether or not I got referred, only that those referred will receive a separate email notifying them of the referral. Which I didn't get. Of course, they don't give you a timeframe for when that next email will come down the pipeline, so I have no way of knowing whether or not I was referred. And of course the status isn't updated in USAJOBs... In fact, it took so long to get the NOR that I had forgotten what job I'd applied for.

striking-wolf posted:

I'm finishing up a PhD in the next 12 months or so (though I can significantly delay it while retaining my funding or speed it up, as needed) and I'm curious whether there is anything I can do to make myself more competitive for a federal job. I love what I do (the history of education in Europe), but the field is way over-saturated and it can't hurt to explore alternative career paths. I have lots of academic and intellectual qualifications: big fellowships (including one from the National Academy of Education), dozens of conference presentations, ability to synthesize massive amounts of information, know a European language, etc. Is there anything else I can do to get these "points" that seem to be required to get an interview? Any ideas about departments I should look into? I'm geographically flexible. The department of education seems like a good fit, though many positions seem to require k-12 teaching or administrative experience. Any advice is appreciated!

Depending on the language you speak, you may want to look into a job at the defense language institute in Monterey, CA. I studied there, and they're ALWAYS looking for instructors.

Drewski fucked around with this message at 23:42 on Jan 25, 2012

Drewski
Apr 15, 2005

Good thing Vader didn't touch my bike. Good thing for him.

NintyFresh posted:

:words:

It sounds like you're in a really good work environment. Literally everyone in my office is on USAJOBS looking for and applying for new positions on a daily basis. Maybe it has something to do with our director trying to slap every single person in the office with the same generic letter of reprimand for "observed unethical behavior and language" (edit: although he did retract it when each of us refused to sign it, but damage done).

I got 12 referrals in january, and I've expanded my search from california/nevada/oregon to include Germany, washington state, arizona, maryland, virginia, pennsylvania, and the carolinas.

I can't get the hell out of here soon enough.

Drewski fucked around with this message at 01:21 on Feb 2, 2012

Drewski
Apr 15, 2005

Good thing Vader didn't touch my bike. Good thing for him.

Quantum Jazz posted:

Sadly, I don't really have much advice to offer here but I figured I could chime in with some numbers from my recent USAJobs experience.
Number of positions applied for: 36
Number of positions referred to selecting official: 8
Number of interviews (both phone): 2
Number of offers: 1

Background info: Disabled military veteran with a BS in mathematics.
Hopefully this will help someone in some way.

I'm a 5 point vet in a federal excepted service position (VRA appointment) with a BA in International Relations. But I'm not happy where I am so I've been applying to other places. Here are my numbers:

Applications: 45
Status never updated: 27
Still Reviewing Applications: 4
Eligible but not referred: 4
Referred: 10
Interviews (phone): 1
Offers: 0

Drewski
Apr 15, 2005

Good thing Vader didn't touch my bike. Good thing for him.

Diplomaticus posted:

How many times taking the FSOT?

Never, actually. All of my applications have been in intel and mission management. I've thought about going this route but never actually moved forward on the test.

Drewski
Apr 15, 2005

Good thing Vader didn't touch my bike. Good thing for him.
/\/\/\: The federal government has very strict rules in place regarding discrimination. Federal work sites and personnel are all subject to EEO law and Obama added gender identity to the list of protections. You can read more at http://www.aclu.org/lgbt-rights/administration-adds-gender-identity-equal-employment-opportunity-policies

scavok posted:

Most of the physical/earth science jobs look to only require a BS in any science/engineering subject, so a niche major is still eligible. My primary interest is in meteorology and forecasting, which have more specific requirements that I meet, but I want to use my GI Bill first. If it were to only come down to a 2 pay grade difference that's not a big deal, I'm only worried about getting my foot in the door.

What's your veteran's status? We vets can get some pretty exemplary benefits that can put us over the top on applications. Do you know if you qualify for VEOA or VRA? Do you have 30% disability? If you want your foot in the door you may just be able to kick the door in :v:

Drewski fucked around with this message at 17:17 on Mar 24, 2012

Drewski
Apr 15, 2005

Good thing Vader didn't touch my bike. Good thing for him.

scavok posted:

Look like I'd be eligible for VEOA and VRA, but not 30% disability. If I'm understanding VRA correctly, because I have some decorations from iraq/afghanistan, I'll still be eligible for it after being separated for more than 3 years?

That's correct, it only has to show on your DD-214. You'll be VRA and VEOA eligible for life. (In my case, I deployed to Bosnia supporting NATO in Operation Joint Forge and got the Armed Forces Expeditionary Medal.)

The cool thing about VRA is that you can be selected for positions non-competitively. It isn't a very common thing for people to perform outright VRA hires without knowing the person, though, but if you make a reputation for yourself you can go all the way up to GS-11 and completely bypass all the hiring bullshit.

Again, in my circumstances, I took a job with the Army as a GWOT term and got my permanent status via VRA 2 years in. It's been my experience that hiring managers simply don't realize they can do this so I started adding it to my resume in my military experience. Just something simple like "Honorably discharged at rank of SSGT; eligible for noncompetitive VRA Appointment."

Drewski
Apr 15, 2005

Good thing Vader didn't touch my bike. Good thing for him.
I've gotten another 9 referrals since my last update with ratings between 101 and 105. What I don't understand is that out of every single referral I've gotten, only one resulted in an interview which was mentioned in my last update as well. Would that indicate that my resume is technically sufficient but otherwise unimpressive? I hate how you have to flag the keywords in a way that doesn't copy/paste the position description. Seems like far more effort than it's worth...

Drewski
Apr 15, 2005

Good thing Vader didn't touch my bike. Good thing for him.

grover posted:

Generally speaking:
Bachelors: GS-5
Bachelors+: GS-7
Masters: GS-9
Doctorate: GS-11

There are so many ways to qualify for a GS-7 with a BS (3.0 average, top 10% of your class, etc.) that most grads will enter as a GS-7 vice a GS-5, but GS-11 generally requires a year of experience at GS-9 level, etc. There are some exceptions, though. Research positions can start as a GS-11 with just a masters, for instance.

http://www.opm.gov/qualifications/standards/group-stds/gs-prof.asp

Yeah but it's so subjective. I don't think the scale appropriately reflects what you can get in the private sector for pay, and I've noticed that in rural areas especially, they'll ignore the requirements and get the best qualified regardless of whether or not you have the education/experience. Shallow hiring pools etc

Drewski
Apr 15, 2005

Good thing Vader didn't touch my bike. Good thing for him.
Very true, which is why the Army is transitioning from having the computer scan your resume to an actual person from HR reading your resume. I can't say if they've completed the switch or if other agencies are doing this as well though.

edit: re job security, I have seen a lot of army agencies offer early retirements with no FERS penalties because of the hit to their budgets. I wouldn't be surprised to see a RIF in the next 2 years.

Drewski
Apr 15, 2005

Good thing Vader didn't touch my bike. Good thing for him.

jerman999 posted:

Is there an equivalency between the AD and GS scales?

AD pay is set by each individual agency so there is no equivalency chart to compare.

edit: I suppose if you saw a position offering an AD salary, you could look up the GS pay scale for that area and see roughly what it would equate to.

Drewski fucked around with this message at 20:47 on Apr 7, 2012

Drewski
Apr 15, 2005

Good thing Vader didn't touch my bike. Good thing for him.

Primoman posted:

So I got an email that indicated that I passed the Border Protection Officer exam. The next step is to fill out and upload signed documents, which I'm doing as we speak.

After that, it says my passed status is good for one year, which means it could be weeks or months whether or not I get a callback for an interview, if ever.

Meanwhile, I also passed the exam for Communications Officer with my local sheriff's office, to which they guarantee a callback for an interview in a week or two from now.

If by chance I get offered both jobs, I wonder which I should go for.

I'd weigh my options between whichever position has the best promotability, location, benefits package, and retirement.

I know very little about sheriff's programs to be honest. It isn't federal but rather a county job right? Because your federal retirement counts all years at all jobs. I don't think the sheriff's job has that kind of flexibility.

Drewski fucked around with this message at 15:33 on Apr 13, 2012

Drewski
Apr 15, 2005

Good thing Vader didn't touch my bike. Good thing for him.

crankdatbatman posted:

After bitching and complaining for the last page on this thread, I got my job offer today. GS-7 Patent Examiner, exactly three weeks after my phone interview. Thanks for all the advice everyone. I may have some questions about my move to DC in the next few weeks, especially since my start date is a little over a month from now.

Welcome to the cool kids club! GSA ruined our ability to provide punch and pie, so you'll have to pay for that yourself.

Drewski
Apr 15, 2005

Good thing Vader didn't touch my bike. Good thing for him.

Primoman posted:

Ignoring any possible advantages in pay/benefits with CBP, I can't foresee anyone in their right mind turning down a chance to work with the FBI. I'm hoping they contact me first, because I would absolutely accept the job without hesitation.

Apart from special agents, I found most people in the FBI to be a bunch of assholes. I stayed a year before moving on. It was either stodgy old people or supervisors who expect too much from employees using arbitrary standards just to "make their numbers". Although I can tell you a couple funny stories. Mostly dealing with a translator I dubbed "old deaf Jimmy".

Jimmy was a chinese translator, probably in his 80s at this point. He lied about his age to join the US Army during the Korean War, if that says anything. When I met him, he had just come back from triple bypass open heart surgery. He really was a sweet, kind old man, but he had the worst Engrish accent I've ever heard in my life. I don't understand how he could be a nationalized citizen for 50 years, working for a government agency, yet could speak such TERRIBLE English. He was a technophile too, and we actually did become pretty good friends.

One day he came up to me and asked, "Hey, uh, Drewski, you ever use ah, the scoopie?"

me: ??? Scoopie?
Jimmy: You know, Scoopie, scoopie, scoopie... Scoopie!
me: I'm sorry, but I don't know what you're talking about.
Jimmy: You know, where ah, you talk to people on the internet.
me: Skype?
Jimmy: Oh, so the 'e' is sirent.... *wanders off*

We had these conversations on a regular basis.

Drewski
Apr 15, 2005

Good thing Vader didn't touch my bike. Good thing for him.

Primoman posted:

Do you have any opinions on the Intelligence Analyzer position? Pros, cons, that sort of thing?

Also wondering if you had access to any classified info. Not so much "here's where we keep the aliens", but there's bound to be secrets that they prefer the average person would not know about.

That position is more than likely going to be pushing paper (although admittedly it could be the most interesting paper you'll ever see). The FBI has taken on a lot of intelligence activity, but the difference between the FBI and, for example the CIA, is that the FBI conducts intelligence activities whenever there is a threat against the United States or a federal crime has been committed or is suspected. You'll probably take the raw data from multiple sources and collate it into readable reports for agents. So con, you're a cubicle monkey and there are some people that will treat you as such. Pros, you get to be involved in some really cool stuff (Sorry, can't get into details).

Someone who loved the job once told me that intelligence analysis and linguistics for the FBI are most enjoyable for people who like soap operas. You will be the "first to know" about new developments with your target(s), and you will know the most intimate details of people's lives that even their spouses don't know. You'll know their work schedules, their kids' sports programs, their illnesses and medications, you'll know when they meet their wives for dinner and their mistresses for everything else, you'll know when and where they dump the bodies, and then you get to see them go back to their family like nothing ever happened. And every day there's a new episode. It's kind of scary.

And in reference to your second section, yes. You'll find that the intelligence world can sometimes be very cruel, but there was also some job satisfaction in seeing bad guys arrested when you were intimately involved in teasing out the information that gets them arrested in the first place. I personally found some of the techniques used to gather intelligence "unsavory" but effective... And eventually grew to dislike it.

Also, fightin' terr'ists.

Drewski fucked around with this message at 23:38 on May 29, 2012

Drewski
Apr 15, 2005

Good thing Vader didn't touch my bike. Good thing for him.

Primoman posted:

The one thing that immediately comes to mind was that 4-chan story about catching an anonymous poster making bomb threats. I imagine it's something along those lines?

In any case, you made the position sound awesome for me, so I've seriously got my fingers crossed on this one.

Being a "paperwork" kind of job, does that mean less emphasis on previous law enforcement/government experience? I don't have either, but I'm hoping my Internet browsing skills plus typing speed gives me an edge (not to mention the CJ degree, of which its advantages are...debatable).

So you like soaps, eh? :P

I don't know the 4-chan story you mentioned, but most bomb threats are never real. They still have to be treated as such, but they are usually a cry for attention and can be almost always handled within hours/days. The ones you really have to worry about are the ones they try to keep secret. The intelligence analysis I'm talking about requires long-term observation. Weapons/drugs/human trafficking, extortion, blackmail, fraud, and extremists were an everyday thing (although most of the time nothing happened - criminals are either really good at covering their tracks or fantastically stupid).

Even though it's a paperwork job you still need to have the legal foundation to identify criminal activities so I would imagine a CJ degree could be useful there. You'll definitely have an advantage over the older folks that work there - I spent a lot of time trying to teach people basic usage of Excel...

Drewski
Apr 15, 2005

Good thing Vader didn't touch my bike. Good thing for him.

Primoman posted:

I like anything that creates a unique experience each time I go to work, so if by "soaps" you mean "crime-related stories", then yes. Putting a face and name to any objectives I'd be given would be immensely satisfying, especially as I also have aspirations of becoming a writer.

You'll get some great source material then! The scariest thing to me, was learning how *human* the people you study are. It may sound strange but if you get the job you'll come to understand what I mean.


EDIT:

I applied for a GS12 excepted service permanent position that had the following statement in the Duties section of usajobs:

"This is an obligated position in which an employee has return rights. Upon the employee’s return, incumbent may be required to vacate this position."

I'm assuming this means the person who previously held this position has taken an overseas job, or has deployed out to the sandbox. Hypothetically let's say I'm offered and accept this position, then a year down the road, the person who previously held the job comes back with the intent of taking their old job back. What happens? Do I simply vacate the position and I'm SOL, do they move me to another position in the unit, do I get put on priority placement? Or something else I don't know about?

Edit 2: Think I found the answer myself:

a. Type of appointment. Depending on the needs of the activity, the vacated CONUS position may be filled by any type of appointment or internal placement deemed appropriate.

b. Advising the employee. When filling a position committed to an overseas returnee, the new employee must be advised in writing in advance of the assignment that, on the former employee's return, he or she will be-

(1) Reassigned to a vacant position, or

(2) Placed or separated by RIF.

c. Documenting the SF 50. When filling the vacated position, the following statement will be included in the remarks section of the recruitment SF 50: "Occupancy of this position is limited to the return of former incumbent with statutory reemployment rights under 10 USC 1586." (See AR 680-340.) Also, the Service Record (SF 7), if used, will be annotated.

Drewski fucked around with this message at 19:46 on May 30, 2012

Drewski
Apr 15, 2005

Good thing Vader didn't touch my bike. Good thing for him.
I was approved for the FSOT offered earlier this month but opted to not schedule the test as I was also supposed to go to a wedding, which was more important to me as I was in the wedding party. Will that affect my ability to take the next test which is scheduled for September?

Drewski
Apr 15, 2005

Good thing Vader didn't touch my bike. Good thing for him.
After more than 150 applications to various organizations in 5 states, I was very pleasantly surprised to find an interview request in my inbox this morning. I'm scheduled to interview for a GS11/12-0301 Analyst position with US Citizenship & Immigration Services. Anyone have experience working for them?

I qualify for GS12 but I am not sure if they'll hire me at that level or if I would have to stay at GS11. Either way it doesn't matter because I'm at the top of my developmental pay grade at 11 right now, so being able to step into a nonsupervisory GS12 will be awesome. In the meantime I am incredibly excited.

Drewski
Apr 15, 2005

Good thing Vader didn't touch my bike. Good thing for him.

fuzzy_logic posted:

Very random question, but does anybody know if my tattoos are an issue for a federal job? They're all totally covered by business casual attire as long as I wear long sleeves, and none of them are swastikas or anything like that.

Basically they shouldn't be showing when you interview. That shouldn't ever be a problem for you because when you interview you should be full business not business casual. Otherwise, I think as long as you dress nicely you'll be fine.

I'd say probably 1/3 of all the people I know at work have at least one tattoo (my work site is pretty rural, YMMV). I have five, and although mine aren't visible in business casual, a lot of people I know have full sleeves. Sometimes on overtime days they let us wear shorts, and my "Lucifer getting cast out of heaven" tattoo is completely visible. No complaints so far, and none of my bosses have said anything about it either.

Drewski
Apr 15, 2005

Good thing Vader didn't touch my bike. Good thing for him.

De Nomolos posted:

Tread lightly with DHS agencies. The reorganization of the structure of all these programs has continued to make it a difficult place to work. Ask about turnover.

I think CBP and CIS are both better than average places to work, though. The worst problems are at DHS HQ.

Thank you for this info. I'm comparing the 2011 Federal Employee Viewpoint Survey results between my current organization and DHS to get an idea of the climate. I know it can vary wildly between different parts of an organization, but at least it gives me an idea of what I'd be stepping into. Overall it looks like DHS employees overwhelmingly like what they do (almost 85%), but are slightly less happy overall with their jobs. They suffer from the same problems all agencies have (of course). Ideally I'd love to be able to drill into the data specific to both my own organization and the field offices that have the openings.

My interview I think went really well, although they told me it would be up to 3 months before hearing anything even though they want to fill the slot ASAP.

Drewski
Apr 15, 2005

Good thing Vader didn't touch my bike. Good thing for him.

Beerdeer posted:

I work for CIS and I love it. It does depend where you work though. Field offices are more stressful than the service centers.

Interesting. May I ask why? I was offered the job Friday and sent my acceptance Saturday.

Drewski
Apr 15, 2005

Good thing Vader didn't touch my bike. Good thing for him.
Well in an uncommon turn of events I retracted my acceptance for the CIS job because I was offered a job by the Navy on Monday.

Keep plugging away at those applications on USAJOBS, folks, it took me over 150 applications to finally get something!

Drewski
Apr 15, 2005

Good thing Vader didn't touch my bike. Good thing for him.
I got an email at work today from my IT office - Microsoft is offering Office Professional Plus to federal employees for $9.95 through their digital river services. Supposedly it only works for *.civ@mail.mil addresses but it really can't hurt to try.

http://www.microsofthup.com/hupus/chooser.aspx?culture=en-US

Select your country, then click on the link that reads "Don’t Know Your Program Code? Click here." and input your work email address. You'll get a validation email which you can then use to buy the license and download the software.

:siren: DON'T DOWNLOAD THE SOFTWARE TO YOUR WORK COMPUTER. :siren:

Forward the confirmation email to your home address and do it from home.

edit: Worked for me, installed clean at home :)

Drewski fucked around with this message at 05:58 on Aug 2, 2012

Drewski
Apr 15, 2005

Good thing Vader didn't touch my bike. Good thing for him.

grover posted:

http://www.opm.gov/oca/pay/html/promotion.asp

Round up from your present salary to the next step in your new grade, and then add a step.

So in a 9/11/12 developmental position (talking base salary)-
a 9 step 10 making $54028 would round up to 11 step 4 at $55315, then bump up to 11 step 5 at $56991?

Then after a year the 11 step 5 making $56991 getting promoted again would round up to 12 step 1 at 60274, then bump up to 12 step 2 making $62283?

Drewski
Apr 15, 2005

Good thing Vader didn't touch my bike. Good thing for him.
A coworker of mine was telling me about this TSP predictor called Sector Surfer, which "uses algorithms" to determine which TSP plan to put your moneys into. Is it a huge crock of poo poo? Because it seems like one. I only made one change to my TSP this year - I switched from L2040 to L2050 and my PIP hit 23.41%. I understand that kind of growth is unsustainable long term, but in my opinion, it seems like an easy way for a service to weasel its way into my pocketbook.

Is there a definite argument I can make to my coworker as to why he shouldn't try out this service?

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Drewski
Apr 15, 2005

Good thing Vader didn't touch my bike. Good thing for him.

Must Love Dogs posted:

VRA requires a service-connected disability of thirty percent to qualify.

Or a deployment to a combat zone and award of an expeditionary medal. I got a VRA appointment - I qualified with a deployment to Bosnia + Armed Forces Expeditionary Medal.

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