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Badfinger
Dec 16, 2004

Timeouts?!

We'll take care of that.
Hey everyone, you weren't supposed to READ what I wrote. Certainly not read it and then draw conclusions based on what you read. What were you thinking?


What's that? If there are issues with understanding, it's the prerogative of the person presenting the information to clarify? That doesn't sound right to me, you're just the ones who are morons.

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Badfinger
Dec 16, 2004

Timeouts?!

We'll take care of that.
I read the entire thing, but I won't pretend I understood a single word of it.

Someone seriously got paid for that?

Badfinger fucked around with this message at 15:00 on Apr 17, 2011

Badfinger
Dec 16, 2004

Timeouts?!

We'll take care of that.

KYOON GRIFFEY JR posted:

Yes, Hockey Inside/Out is the Canadiens-focused website for the largest English language newspaper in Montreal.

Background: Chara tried to murder a guy on the Canadiens or something and then didn't even get a suspension!!! and the guy he tried to murder is still injured, and then the Bruins played like rear end in the playoffs and Chara got the pooping flu or something like that and now lots of dumb poo poo Montreal fans are talking about KARMA and Divine Retribution.

That's the damning thing, I do actually know what the article is about. It's just completely unintelligible.

Badfinger
Dec 16, 2004

Timeouts?!

We'll take care of that.
Doesn't Tanier have a decent gig already with the New York Times? You'd probably have to blow him away with a contract or offer him a lot of freedom.

Badfinger
Dec 16, 2004

Timeouts?!

We'll take care of that.
It appears that Rick Reilly has never seen nor heard of kilts.

Badfinger
Dec 16, 2004

Timeouts?!

We'll take care of that.
In case anyone who browses the thread and has writing aspirations hasn't seen this, Football Outsiders is hiring. Be a person that makes sports analysis/journalism better!

http://www.footballoutsiders.com/extra-points/2011/site-news-fo-seeks-assistant-editor

Badfinger
Dec 16, 2004

Timeouts?!

We'll take care of that.

Bigass Moth posted:

PEDs were not banned by baseball at the time of the supersluggers in the late 90s-early 00s. Barry was in trouble for lying to congress about it, while Big Mac's "aw shucks" routine somehow got him in no trouble.

Because he "aw shucks'd" the 5th amendment in front of congress, somehow not implicating himself nor lying under oath!

Badfinger
Dec 16, 2004

Timeouts?!

We'll take care of that.
He should have been on the DL a week ago. And now he's on the DL? What is the world coming to!


At least the guy apologized right up front for being lovely.

quote:

We're all sick of hearing about tweaks, strains and IV bags. Suck it up and play!

If you're sick about hearing of it, don't tell us then, Twins beat reporter whose job is to report if players have aches and pains.

Badfinger fucked around with this message at 20:21 on Apr 28, 2011

Badfinger
Dec 16, 2004

Timeouts?!

We'll take care of that.
You know what I loving hate? Keys to the Game that are never, ever actual keys and sometimes aren't even about that game.

Keys to the Game:
Win the Series!
Keep the Momentum going!


gently caress.

It is not journalism, but I don't have any long form place to bitch about this.

Badfinger
Dec 16, 2004

Timeouts?!

We'll take care of that.

Dr_Strangelove posted:

Flashback to late 1991. I'm in Omaha, visiting a friend who was attending Iowa State. We go to a bar to watch an ISU basketball game. The broadcast team finishes the intro and gives us ISU's KEYS to the GAME! They are:

1. Score.
2. Defend.

Yes, this actually happened.

That is pretty awesome. Without spoken word, they are already better than 80% of current GAME KEYS. If someone elaborates on them in an insightful way, it immediately shoots to the top of the chart.

With barely any paraphrasing, the Keys to the Game for a Phillies game earlier this season were:

Roy Halladay
Get the Sweep

And the elaboration for the keys to WINNING the game were: Roy Halladay is pitching. Boy isn't he good, let's all enjoy watching him pitch, and; Get the sweep on a getaway day for the road trip.

GREAT

Badfinger
Dec 16, 2004

Timeouts?!

We'll take care of that.
Looks like he won by a narrow margin in a playoff. Seems like correct usage to me.

Badfinger
Dec 16, 2004

Timeouts?!

We'll take care of that.

Badfinger posted:

Looks like he won by a narrow margin in a playoff. Seems like correct usage to me.

I honestly wrote that without having the faintest idea why you were criticizing it.

I think it's fine.

Badfinger
Dec 16, 2004

Timeouts?!

We'll take care of that.

stuart scott irl posted:

what is this and is there an Android version

Yes.

https://market.android.com/details?id=com.ferg.awful&feature=search_result

Badfinger
Dec 16, 2004

Timeouts?!

We'll take care of that.
Oh it's Housenick.

She's the one who wrote the stupid article about how Jayson Werth is too surly and should immediately be traded last year. Something like that.

I'm pretty sure she's just an amalgam of all the faux-trolling twitter accounts made real.


BAHAHAHAHAHA

http://blogs.mcall.com/phillies/2011/05/utley-were-you-listening.html

Badfinger fucked around with this message at 16:44 on May 24, 2011

Badfinger
Dec 16, 2004

Timeouts?!

We'll take care of that.

swizz posted:

Yeah, it's that sort of thing that would turn the reporter into an anathema in the clubhouse and I consider that a legitimate reason to withhold it. That having been said, I doubt she has anything other than hearsay.

She is a bit player at a tiny publication, not to put too fine a point on it. I can't imagine what dirt she'd be digging that other people wouldn't have already run through the deadspin/espn wringer much more thoroughly.

Badfinger
Dec 16, 2004

Timeouts?!

We'll take care of that.

Orgophlax posted:

Ahem... "phucking" :colbert:

No.

Badfinger
Dec 16, 2004

Timeouts?!

We'll take care of that.
A lot of time the premise of an article is what dooms it to Sports Journalism, like this!

Ichiro needs to show leadership with more hustle

The Joey Bats article is a sound premise, even if it goes a little off the rails. To be fair if you are purely discussing a personality's markitability or Q rating like the article does, having a language barrier does affect it.

Badfinger
Dec 16, 2004

Timeouts?!

We'll take care of that.

Hand Knit posted:

I think the premise is only slightly dodgy, but it becomes outright bad with how the first few paragraphs are written. This is then augmented by a ridiculous part where he uses how often someone is searched on Yahoo as a proxy for internet "buzz" (whatever that may be) and then uses a time frame of 12 months, which extends prior to Bautista's rise to prominence.

e: I suppose the article can also be fit under the proud old FJM category of "food metaphors."
But why does he say that it is "a challenge for some ballplayers from Latin America?" What does that add to anything? Accentuating his foreignness is done just fine, albeit with a rather poor selection of examples, in the next sentence.

I, personally, do not think the article is terrible. It's not great, it's just kind of words on the internet. Bautista started being noticed back at the end of the '09 season, but I suppose he really became a star in 2010. I think the fact that MLB does not particularly market its individual players is a pretty good point made.

Badfinger
Dec 16, 2004

Timeouts?!

We'll take care of that.
Ohio lies State

Badfinger
Dec 16, 2004

Timeouts?!

We'll take care of that.

morestuff posted:

The site design is interesting. I like the actual formatting of the articles - the parentheticals are a nice touch if they don't overuse them. The top half of the main page is a pretty big waste of space, though.

Also, people are already starting to crank out hit pieces.

It's kind of funny that the Atlantic article is asking what the website is about when ESPN already covers the thing it covers, when it's an obviously different style. Long form journalism or storytelling is something that's missing from ESPN.

I read Simmons' opener, I think I like it.

http://www.grantland.com/story/_/id/6635763/welcome-grantland

Badfinger
Dec 16, 2004

Timeouts?!

We'll take care of that.
I think at the moment he's the only one that has anything to link to.

Badfinger
Dec 16, 2004

Timeouts?!

We'll take care of that.
It absolutely makes a difference that you're just skipping over the poo poo you don't want to see live to get to the poo poo you do want to see while it is still live. Once it's no longer happening, it's just information to me instead of entertainment, and I don't want to watch the game I just want to watch the condensed game, or all the scoring plays, or the important scoring chances/extended highlight package.

Badfinger
Dec 16, 2004

Timeouts?!

We'll take care of that.

Rogue Elephant posted:

A professional writer wrote that. And got paid. And an editor let it slide.

Tbh that looks an awful lot like he meant to write "wins" and not just win, and the editor missed that instead of the other.

Badfinger
Dec 16, 2004

Timeouts?!

We'll take care of that.
Site never went down for me. I have to say that once Simmons was able to get out from under being ESPN's Bill Simmons, The Sports Guy, he has continued to be the exact same writer.

So I'm pretty excited about all the other people contributing to the site, who have been mostly excellent. I even liked Jimmy Kimmel's article.

Badfinger
Dec 16, 2004

Timeouts?!

We'll take care of that.
The Steig's back!

http://hardballtalk.nbcsports.com/2011/06/27/david-ortiz-is-not-a-baseball-player/

Link in the HBT article. He contends that David Ortiz isn't a "real" baseball player.

Badfinger
Dec 16, 2004

Timeouts?!

We'll take care of that.

ElwoodCuse posted:

Seriously, I guess I just don't "get" baseball because I've always thought the DH/No DH split was really stupid

I was already a baseball fan for life before I even learned what a designated hitter was. I grew up a baseball fan, and that's how things were. It's kind of strange, but it's not that big a deal.

Badfinger
Dec 16, 2004

Timeouts?!

We'll take care of that.
A local columnist wrote an article where he pretended to ask President Obama random questions about sports. Then he pretended to answer them?

http://www.delawareonline.com/article/20110705/SPORTS11/107050340/Lopresti-Let-s-hear-White-House-weigh-sports-debate

quote:

Question: As you know, Mr. President, this was the last weekend of Wimbledon. By the end of the fourth round, every American woman was gone -- meaning every Williams sister. The last U.S. man -- Mardy Fish -- was beaten last Wednesday, assuring the drought for American men in Grand Slam events will go to 31 over eight years.

When, sir, can we expect that dry spell to end?

Answer: It didn't happen overnight and it won't end overnight. If you think the housing recession is bad, you should see the men's world rankings. Two Americans in the top 39, or one fewer than Serbia. Spain has 10 in the top 50.

And since Fish is 29 and Andy Roddick is 28, we're not talking young phenoms.

This government is determined to put a man both on Mars and at Centre Court on Sunday at Wimbledon. I'm just not sure which will happen first.

Q: Mr. President, what is your reaction to reports that Charlie Sheen used steroids while filming his Ricky Vaughn role for "Major League?"

A: The way Congress works, I wouldn't be surprised if they subpoenaed Ricky Vaughn to a hearing. I do think this will hurt his Hall of Fame chances.

.......

Q: What did you think of the NBA draft?

A: Did they have it already?

Phew, what a knee slapper. Am I right?

Badfinger
Dec 16, 2004

Timeouts?!

We'll take care of that.

Orgophlax posted:

He has a point about WAR, which is like 1.something. You're telling me Howard is only good for 1 more win than Ross Gload would be?

Grab a no-glove, all-bat dude off the waiver wire to play first base and he should be able to put up at least a league average OPS, 15-18 HR in a year's worth of PA. There are only 3 qualified 1B with an OPS under .740 and they're all producing negative WAR.

Your "league average" position player is worth about 2-3 WAR. 1.x WAR through about half a season for a league average player sounds about right.

Badfinger
Dec 16, 2004

Timeouts?!

We'll take care of that.

Orgophlax posted:

His point wasn't that his WAR number was wrong, it's that it's pointless to use to determine worth. There's no way with Ross Gload in the lineup everyday rather than Howard the Phillies would be close to the record they have now.

Imagine John Mayberry with 350 PA this season at 1B. They'd probably be about a 55 win team right now.

Badfinger
Dec 16, 2004

Timeouts?!

We'll take care of that.
If Ryan Howard was a free agent at the end of the year, I would give literally no fucks that the Phillies are paying ~$20 mil this year for an average first baseman. Because he is at least an average first baseman. He's not a HORRIBLE player, he's just wildly, hideously overpaid. I would not even give fucks that sportswriters would be writing articles that would say the Phillies desperately need to re-sign Howard whatever the cost, because of all his ribbies, when they obviously shouldn't. He has some value, I wouldn't have minded a sane deal. Sportswriters writing hyperbolic articles about keeping a nice guy on a great team who's won hardware in the past is par for the course.

But with already overpaid Ryan Howard on the books for 5 more expensive years that haven't even started yet, you get idiot sportswriters making articles trying to JUSTIFY the deal. And that's where the train crashes then explodes then the fires from the explosions hit a gas station.

Badfinger
Dec 16, 2004

Timeouts?!

We'll take care of that.
I'm pretty sure those guys barely make Ryan Howard's salary combined. Which means you could pick a righty and a lefty off the list, get something in the ballpark of Howard's likely production for the next year or two, and have the other 16 million left over to go sign third basemen and left fielders.

Badfinger
Dec 16, 2004

Timeouts?!

We'll take care of that.

Politicalrancor posted:

thats a pretty good nugget

The Red Sox 7-8-9 hitters have a higher OPS than the Cardinals 9-1-2 (non-pither) hitters do, and Ellsbury has had more RISP than Albert. They're also at almost the same OPS. It's not that bizarre.

Badfinger
Dec 16, 2004

Timeouts?!

We'll take care of that.

KYOON GRIFFEY JR posted:

the part that's bizarre is right there in your post i have made it all superscripty

Understood. And yet he has only the 4th highest OPS among CF this season. In a down year overall, it is a pretty good year for CF! Plus, while I would not be that surprised for Ellsbury to maintain this OPS, I'd also not be surprised to see Pujols' OPS continue to rise.


Ellsbury OPS+ 136
Pujols OPS+ 148

Badfinger
Dec 16, 2004

Timeouts?!

We'll take care of that.

BITCH I SELL CAINE posted:

Let me tell you about the greatest* baseball game I've ever seen.

[writes 5,000-word article about an American All-Stars vs. Boston Red Sox best-of-seven series of "RBI Baseball" from a stoner's living room in Milpitas in 1990.]


________________________________________________________________
* - By "greatest," of course I mean that, [250 more words].

- What is "meaning," anyway?

I want to read this article. :mad:

Badfinger
Dec 16, 2004

Timeouts?!

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Bill Barnwell is both a pretty good writer and entertaining. Jonah Keri is both a pretty good writer and entertaining. The soccer posts have been surprisingly accessible. Grantland isn't worthless, it's just that its worth is instead of going to two or three or four websites to read those guys' writing it's just one. I would have read those guys regardless of grantland's existence.

Badfinger
Dec 16, 2004

Timeouts?!

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Big Daddy Drew is on there.

Now that Katie Baker is at grantland that's the only reason I'd want to go to Deadspin.

Badfinger
Dec 16, 2004

Timeouts?!

We'll take care of that.

Spacemonkey57 posted:

He's not funny or good. They've put out what, three college football articles total if you count his two awful ones and the one about Oregon's Uniforms? There have been a ton of Tennis articles. Is tennis way more popular than I imagined?

It's kind of nice to have a place that gives exactly the same exposure to articles about tennis as they do to football.

The internet is not particularly hurting for scrutinizing, minutiae-dissecting college football coverage.

Badfinger
Dec 16, 2004

Timeouts?!

We'll take care of that.

R.D. Mangles posted:

Grantland has a preview of Get Out of My Face, the Onion's take on the PTI/ATH/sportswriters yelling at each other genre. It's pretty funny and it's probably only about 5% more over the top than the actual shows.

Holy crap

Tony Romo's handoffs "are like a water nymph putting a sugar teacake into the tiny trembling hand of a meadow faerie".

That's awesome.

Badfinger
Dec 16, 2004

Timeouts?!

We'll take care of that.

YodaTFK posted:

Edit: that section just keeps getting worse, gently caress the Blue Jays.

I think you mean gently caress the NCAA.

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Badfinger
Dec 16, 2004

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KYOON GRIFFEY JR posted:

seeing a loving Bruins cup ring makes me nauseous

simmons is correct

Cannot believe the goddamn bruins won a loving Stanley Cup.

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