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Jay Dub posted:Yes, that's the reason. It has nothing to do with ProfessorClumsy being a sick bastard sadist who likes wasting my money for the sake of comedy. Every review I read of yours is narrated in my head by David Warner, if only because of your avatar.
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Jan 26, 2011 05:11
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ProfessorClumsy posted:Either way, this film sounds like it would have been better if it really did star Nicolas Cage. Then he could have made an unholy trilogy of demon-fighting movies, rounded off by next month's Drive Angry. You forgot Ghost Rider, my friend. He actually has made a demon fighting trilogy.
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Jan 30, 2011 08:10
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Vargo posted:You forgot Ghost Rider, my friend. He actually has made a demon fighting trilogy. Not all in the same year though.
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Jan 30, 2011 10:39
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ProfessorClumsy posted:Not all in the same year though. I hope they get Ghost Rider 2 out this year, then.
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Jan 30, 2011 20:09
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Hey guys, the crew has been talking about a podcast, and we may even have a tentative start date, but we're stuck on a name. Any suggestions? Also, this week, ProfessorClumsy goes Spelunking with Sanctum, Jay Dub watches a dude cut his arm off with 127 Hours, and I try to chew my own arm off rather than watch The Roommate.
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Feb 3, 2011 02:32
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Something Awfilm?
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Feb 3, 2011 02:35
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Humbug Scoolbus posted:Something Awfilm? Simple. Clean. I like it.
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Feb 3, 2011 08:24
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When I say it out loud, I can't help but pronounce "Awfilm" like I'm saying "Awwwww yeah..."
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Feb 3, 2011 19:47
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Humbug Scoolbus posted:Something Awfilm? That's terrible. How about Somefilm Awful?
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Feb 3, 2011 21:24
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ProfessorClumsy posted:That's terrible. Well you're a bug stupid-head! (Actually, yours is so much better)
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Feb 4, 2011 17:51
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Why not Cinema Discusso?
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Feb 4, 2011 17:54
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Vargo, I really liked the review for The Roommate this week. Very entertaining. First thing I thought of when I saw the commercials on TV was "Why are they remaking SWF? Do we need another SWF?" You're thoughts about audience manipulation were interesting ones. I've often accused movies of manipulation rather than actual good filmmaking to make audiences feel something, but it's hard to define where the line is sometimes I think. It's kind of like a "porn: I-know-it-when-I-see-it" thing I guess.
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Feb 6, 2011 19:24
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Johnny Walker posted:Vargo, I really liked the review for The Roommate this week. Very entertaining. First thing I thought of when I saw the commercials on TV was "Why are they remaking SWF? Do we need another SWF?" You're thoughts about audience manipulation were interesting ones. I've often accused movies of manipulation rather than actual good filmmaking to make audiences feel something, but it's hard to define where the line is sometimes I think. It's kind of like a "porn: I-know-it-when-I-see-it" thing I guess. I think that's a good metaphor for it. You basically have to define by example. Mufasa dying in the Lion King is not manipulation. You care about the character first, and then he's gone. What the "_______ Movie" guys do is manipulation. Rather than create characters or tell jokes, they basically ask the audience to laugh because they recognize something from another film. I brought up Secretariat in my review specifically because it's a good example of what isn't manipulation. Knowing your audience and making your film for them isn't manipulation, it's a good idea. Catering isn't manipulation, pandering is. And The Roommate panders in the laziest way possible. In a way, it's the other end of the spectrum from "___ Movie," because it basically is hoping that the audience hasn't seen any of the films it takes from. So you make the movie to appeal to the demographic least likely to realize what a hack you are. That is pandering, that is manipulation, and that is the laziest filmmaking. And it's insulting to your audience. Side note: I originally wanted the title of this review to be "Filmmaker Takes Advantage of Preteen Girls."
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Feb 6, 2011 19:53
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ProfessorClumsy posted:I might put on a production of Romeo and Juliet and have the entire cast dance at the end, even the dead ones, just to keep the kids happy. I'm sure Shakespeare would approve. It's been done. Also, what a lovely upload.
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Feb 13, 2011 08:22
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Vargo posted:It's been done. Sadly, G&J might have the most defensible instance of end-dancing of any of these films. Contemporary accounts suggest that almost all of Shakespeare's plays concluded with a dance by the characters, to represent the return to concord and harmony. That doesn't stop it from looking drat stupid when Shakespeare companies do it today.
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Feb 13, 2011 20:13
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No, seriously, what is the loving deal with dancing at the end of movies. I was kind of sick of it when Shrek 2 did it, but for me it really reached a fever pitch with Despicable Me. That movie had no need of dancing. It would be one thing if it was just the de rigeur padding of a perilously short script, but honestly, the dancing never goes for more than a couple of minutes.
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Feb 14, 2011 00:38
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Children like it when cartoons/3D poo poo dance. These movies are made for children. Children have no standards.
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Feb 14, 2011 02:28
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Well this is one way to find out they made a movie called Gnomeo and Juliet.
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Feb 14, 2011 04:19
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Way to go, Gnomeo & Juliet, not only did you manage to take an opportunity in the movie to slap Shakespeare in the face, you managed to take an opportunity to slap Shakespeare voiced by Patrick Stewart in the face. Unforgivable.
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Feb 14, 2011 09:09
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In case anyone cares to read them again before the Oscars, here all all the reviews we've done on this year's Best Picture nominees: Inception The Social Network The Fighter The King's Speech True Grit Winter's Bone Toy Story 3 127 Hours It appears we only missed Black Swan and The Kids are Allright. Not bad, all in all. We could give our thoughts on those two here, if anyone cares. Also, which one of you did this?
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Feb 22, 2011 00:20
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Vargo posted:In case anyone cares to read them again before the Oscars, here all all the reviews we've done on this year's Best Picture nominees: I would have reviewed Black Swan for you guys, but my review was "too repetitive." according to some Clumsy guy. I dunno. Lame. (He is totally right,btw , I rambled like a motherfucker in the review I wrote. I also used the term "film" a gently caress load)
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Feb 22, 2011 03:48
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Vargo posted:Also, which one of you did this?
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Feb 22, 2011 05:51
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I'd be interested to hear what you thought of Black Swan...
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Feb 25, 2011 13:26
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Hey Vargo, what movies are you guys doing this week? I assume Drive Angry, but anything else?
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Feb 27, 2011 04:41
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TheBigBudgetSequel posted:Hey Jay Dub, what movies are you guys doing this week? I assume Drive Angry, but anything else? I've got a thing or two to say about Hall Pass. Also, this week's reviews will be up on Wednesday due to circumstances
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Feb 27, 2011 06:17
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Jay Dub posted:I've got a thing or two to say about Hall Pass. Well that explains why Clumsy has beaten down my digital door asking for a banner.
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Feb 27, 2011 07:11
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Who got stuck with Hall Pass and what kind of revenge are they plotting?
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Feb 27, 2011 15:40
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This week's Current Releases is a seven page extravaganza!
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Mar 2, 2011 14:03
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I feel like I should add an addendum to my Oscar Host Speech. I am fully aware of the fact that the Charlie Sheen joke makes no sense. I initially intended to follow it up with a sentence saying something like, "I know that made no sense, It's ahost speech, jokes don't have to." But I forgot, then decided I didn't care. To make amends, this week I make a Charlie Sheen refernce that actually makes sense.
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Mar 5, 2011 11:37
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Best e-mail I have ever recieved:tom posted:Hey it's cool that you faggots like to talk about movies, but do you really think your little circle jerk needs it's own weekly feature? As far as I know SomethingAwful is a comedy website, you know, for funny poo poo. Everything else posted on the front page at least gets a passing grade for humor, but your pedantic loving essays on whatever poo poo films happen to be out don't make the cut really. You losers already have your own forum, and we both know the people there are the only ones who're going to waste their time with your drivel so what's so hard about keeping it in there? Hell, if that's too much of an ordeal for you, why not set up a blogspot page and pass around the account info so no one can read them there instead of making GBS threads up the front page?
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Mar 6, 2011 13:26
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ProfessorClumsy posted:Best e-mail I have ever recieved: I just love that a feature he doesn't like somehow devalues the rest of the site for him.
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Mar 6, 2011 18:35
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Well I can only say I don't go into CD and I enjoy the reviews.
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Mar 6, 2011 19:33
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ProfessorClumsy posted:Best e-mail I have ever recieved: I wonder if he likes the photoshop banners 
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Mar 6, 2011 21:31
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TheBigBudgetSequel posted:I wonder if he likes the photoshop banners What the hell's all this photoshop crap? That's what Phridays are phor! 
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Mar 7, 2011 01:01
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ProfessorClumsy posted:Best e-mail I have ever recieved: Why doesn't Lowtax spend those WTF, D&D!?-dollars on Comedy R&D!
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Mar 7, 2011 16:07
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ProfessorClumsy's e-mail posted:You losers already have your own forum, and we both know the people there are the only ones who're going to waste their time with your drivel so what's so hard about keeping it in there?: 52,406 people currently browsing cinema discusso apparently.
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Mar 7, 2011 20:09
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I think that this week's column should forgo our Forum Handles that we traditionally have and replace them with "circle-jerking human being" Martin R. "Circle-Jerking human being" Schneider.
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Mar 7, 2011 20:40
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Vargo posted:Martin R. "Circle-Jerking human being" Schneider. The Planet's HarshestTM Film Critic
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Mar 7, 2011 20:52
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Jay Dub, why are you surprised that Red Riding Hood is loaded with phallic imagery? If anything, that makes it more similar to the original fairy tale than the watered-down kiddie version that we're used to.
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Mar 13, 2011 13:06
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Wow, I figured Mars Needs Moms would be terrible, but I just thought aesthetically, not philosophically.
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Mar 13, 2011 15:41
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