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Montague Smythe is a completely legitimate film critic and I'm not just saying that because he has a knife to my throat.
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# ¿ Sep 4, 2010 22:30 |
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# ¿ Mar 29, 2024 09:14 |
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Y-Hat posted:I found Jay Dub's comparison of The American to Eat, Pray, Love to be accurate, considering that I almost saw the latter but ended up with the former on my recent movie date. Turns out that I was taking the same pill. 1) That was Vargo, not Jay Dub. 2) You are such a pimp.
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# ¿ Sep 7, 2010 09:31 |
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Wandering the internet... ...like a lonely ghost.
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# ¿ Sep 10, 2010 13:28 |
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Oh boy...quote:EDITOR'S NOTE: When Satan is near, strange and terrible things transpire: Children bang their heads on the sharp edges of tabletops; toast falls to the floor jelly-side first; awful, ridiculous movies get positive reviews! -- Garbage Day I'm never going to live this one down, am I?
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# ¿ Sep 22, 2010 18:37 |
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Jay Dub posted:Dear real film critics, IT'S A HOOT!
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# ¿ Sep 28, 2010 23:49 |
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the posted:I enjoyed doing this. On the left.
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# ¿ Nov 16, 2010 15:40 |
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Vargo posted:We regret to inform you this week that due to Clumsy's Marty Schneider: The Public Face of Current Releases
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# ¿ Nov 21, 2010 18:29 |
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Jay Dub posted:What the gently caress, how the hell do you know that? Is Gmail's time-o-gram feature out of beta yet or something? Vargo is actually caught in an infinite time loop. He's experienced this several times already.
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# ¿ Nov 21, 2010 22:45 |
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Vargo posted:^^^I think this is a good idea.^^^ That man very definitely had tourette's syndrome. I do not feel that this should negate his opinion of Narnia.
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# ¿ Dec 12, 2010 15:58 |
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It's okay, The Nostalgia Critic is neither funny nor a good critic.
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# ¿ Dec 22, 2010 22:45 |
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The Wrestler is a great example of a film about itself; insofar as it explores the necessity of escapism in dealing with the banalities of everyday life. As someone who has worked in retail for years, the scenes in which Mickey Rourke deperately tries to bring some joy and excitement to his job behind the deli counter, culminating in his deliberately jabbing his thumb into the meat slicer, is some of the most cathartically enjoyable stuff I have ever seen.
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# ¿ Jan 10, 2011 23:39 |
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paco650 posted:Current Releases has been handy so far as it's helped me dispell any cognitive dissonance that I may have developed after spending close to $40 to take a date to the theater and trying to convince myself the movie isn't total loving garbage. Tell us more.
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# ¿ Jan 11, 2011 02:08 |
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Aftertaster posted:I...I love you. I love you! I loving LOVE YOU! Goddamn that felt good. Thanks. I needed that. Keep up the good works, gentlemen. Too far, dude. Too far.
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# ¿ Jan 13, 2011 02:09 |
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Johnny Walker posted:Hey, ProfessorClumsy, just wondering if you saw The Green Hornet in 3D or not and if you think it matters. I haven't gone to see any movies in 3D yet and frankly I'm not sure I like the idea of it being so common now but it is what it is, and I think I might want to see The Green Hornet (thanks for the review, again) so I thought I'd ask. I saw it in 3D because my cinema does not offer the option on films that aren't for kids. The thing about 3D is that it doesn't really look any different to 2D once your eyes adjust to it. It's an identical experience that you're paying more for. So if you have the choice, see it in 2D.
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# ¿ Jan 16, 2011 17:53 |
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Vargo posted:If you go see a movie in 3D, make sure it's one that was actually filmed in 3D. Most of the movies you see in 3D now are added post-production, and it's usually poorly dome, rushed quality that adds nothing to the film. Please note that being "Real 3D" is not an indicator of quality. Also, post-production can be good, if they take a lot of time and care, which most studios don't. On that note, Green Hornet is a well done post conversion 3D film. The conversion effect is not noticable in any way and it looks no different to some of the shot in 3D titles I have seen. You should still see it in 2D though if you have the choice.
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# ¿ Jan 16, 2011 18:49 |
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Vargo posted:You forgot Ghost Rider, my friend. He actually has made a demon fighting trilogy. Not all in the same year though.
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# ¿ Jan 30, 2011 10:39 |
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Humbug Scoolbus posted:Something Awfilm? That's terrible. How about Somefilm Awful?
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# ¿ Feb 3, 2011 21:24 |
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This week's Current Releases is a seven page extravaganza!
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# ¿ Mar 2, 2011 14:03 |
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Best e-mail I have ever recieved:tom posted:Hey it's cool that you faggots like to talk about movies, but do you really think your little circle jerk needs it's own weekly feature? As far as I know SomethingAwful is a comedy website, you know, for funny poo poo. Everything else posted on the front page at least gets a passing grade for humor, but your pedantic loving essays on whatever poo poo films happen to be out don't make the cut really. You losers already have your own forum, and we both know the people there are the only ones who're going to waste their time with your drivel so what's so hard about keeping it in there? Hell, if that's too much of an ordeal for you, why not set up a blogspot page and pass around the account info so no one can read them there instead of making GBS threads up the front page?
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# ¿ Mar 6, 2011 13:26 |
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That Movie of the Week graphic looks pretty nice.
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# ¿ Mar 21, 2011 12:21 |
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Current Releases is certainly a big departure for Something Awful, but the support we're getting from Garbage Day, as well as generally positive responses from readers (with a few exceptions), suggest we're definitely going in the right direction with this. I'm really starting to feel lately that more people are taking us seriously as critics and getting over the whole "this is on somethingawful.com?" reaction.
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# ¿ Mar 23, 2011 11:52 |
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Gyges posted:The Skyline review is the only thing that made that thing tolerable as I watched it with friends. So if nothing else, thanks to ProfessorClumsy for that. I'm still proud of that review.
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# ¿ Mar 27, 2011 16:53 |
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Dectilon posted:That was a much more apologetic review of Atlas Shrugged than I expected. I think a lot of critics had their reviews written before they'd even seen it, so I'm glad we were able to keep the politics out of it.
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# ¿ Apr 17, 2011 13:54 |
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Vargo posted:My bad. As an English major, I am ashamed. Wait... I could have sworn I changed that!
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# ¿ Apr 18, 2011 14:18 |
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So, every Sunday I tweet the link to the Current Releases reviews. This week, I recieved a direct response: http://ireport.cnn.com/docs/DOC-596162 An old man describes the plot of Win Win, declares himself part of some intellectual elite for "getting it", calls it a review and then - and this is the most baffling part - decides that I, personally, need to see it.
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# ¿ May 2, 2011 21:12 |
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Either of you care to elaborate?
Professor Clumsy fucked around with this message at 19:19 on Nov 20, 2012 |
# ¿ May 6, 2011 14:30 |
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John Dyne posted:They were made for the fans, not critics! Here's my Iron Man 2 review. I never reviewed the first, but it was marginally better.
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# ¿ May 6, 2011 15:05 |
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Nucular Carmul posted:You are british. This is something I'm ashamed of today. Rub it in why don't you?
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# ¿ May 6, 2011 21:59 |
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I haven't seen either of those films and have no plans to.
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# ¿ May 7, 2011 18:38 |
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Vargo posted:I just want to point out that the "Something Blue" joke in my review is not the one I originally wrote. Yeah, I saw you pretending you were too good to make a testicles joke and brought you down to earth.
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# ¿ May 8, 2011 16:58 |
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Dectilon posted:Movie of the Weak. Flubberty-druthers.
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# ¿ May 10, 2011 16:17 |
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Father Wendigo posted:Vargo, I know you want nothing more to do with MILF, but the IMDB link in your review is broken. Whoops, that's my fault.
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# ¿ May 29, 2011 17:00 |
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Fig Newton posted:It's not broken too badly; just look at the URL and delete the excess quotation marks. I know, I already fixed it.
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# ¿ May 29, 2011 17:27 |
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Father Wendigo posted:I don't mean to come off as antagonistic, but now the formatting appears to be broken. Yeah, I somehow made it worse when I "fixed" it and then had to fix it again, should be back to normal soon enough.
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# ¿ May 29, 2011 18:13 |
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Just think about this for a moment: there so many talking animal movies released on a weekly basis that we have a guy who loving specialises in reviewing them.
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# ¿ Jun 6, 2011 20:53 |
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Even Garbage Day has backed me up on Wolverine. There's a revolution coming.
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# ¿ Jun 15, 2011 14:59 |
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W. Austell posted:On Vargo's "Judy Moody" review: "What child in his right mind goes out of his way to spend more time around clowns?" Any child who lives in reality and not the world of teenager cliches. My response posted:Are you a clown? Wendy the Clown posted:Although I've considered going to clown school someday, I as yet have no vested interest in protecting the clown public image. I'm just saying my 2 cents because I've seen people toss out "kids sure are scared of clowns" a billion times for cheap laughs. We offended a wannabe clown.
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# ¿ Jun 18, 2011 23:38 |
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Isn't Marmaduke the most fart movie of the year?
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# ¿ Jun 20, 2011 22:58 |
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The Beaver was ready for release quite some time ago, but it was held back because of the eruption of bad press surrounding Mel Gibson. Or so we're told. I honestly think they held it back because they knew it was so loving bad.
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# ¿ Jun 26, 2011 21:27 |
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# ¿ Mar 29, 2024 09:14 |
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Dectilon posted:Sorry, but I don't think you do a very convincing 8-year old That's because Vargo is only 6.
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# ¿ Jul 3, 2011 20:18 |