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I need to train my parents. Not my parents' dog, my parents. They have long been watches of Cesar Milan (I know) and think he's a miracle worker, because the dogs stop what they're doing when they TSSSSST at them. (Never mind that they go DIRECTLY BACK to the behavior after the fact, it works for a moment!) This wasn't so bad with their older beagle, Buddy. He was a mellow dog who was pretty well trained when they got him. And then my dad decided he wanted a dog that would "play fetch and give kisses" (I know) so they got a year-old boxer mutt, Maverick. Maverick is too much for my parents to handle, but they staunchly refuse to give him up. Okay, fine. They say they want "Cesar training" with him, because he pulls on the leash and barks and is crazy. I know he gets two hour-long walks a day, with the other dog and is let out to run in the yard several times a day. My parents see me as a "cat person" and though I recently suggested that my mom take treats on the walks with her to get him to focus, that's the best I've been able to do. She rejects clicker training outright. Too much information is seen as "overwhelming" and me being a know-it-all. Books are right out, as they won't read them. What I'd like to ask for is a simple, direct article or link about the first stages of training a dog, especially a young bully-mix like Maverick. Something that might open their minds away from Cesar and help them see the value of positive reinforcement. TL;DR- my parents are ruining their dog and won't listen. Any suggestions?
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Jul 20, 2011 01:21
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| # ¿ May 21, 2024 01:19 |
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Ikantski posted:http://www.ted.com/talks/ian_dunbar_on_dog_friendly_dog_training.html I sent the first one to my mom with a friendly (I hope) note along the lines of "Hey, a friend just got a new puppy and she's having great luck leash training him, she said she watched this video for ideas. Just a thought!" Here's hoping. I mean, on the one hand, the dog has a home with two people who will spoil the crap out of it ad love it to pieces, but on the other, they could be so much happier.
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Jul 20, 2011 02:58
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I just got an email back from my mother about the training video: "Thanks for thinking of me. I'm kind of at a loss as to why you'd send me this particular message, though. Do you think I need a 14-min speech on not being negative and inconsiderate in my communications?" I've already lost this fight, haven't I?
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Jul 21, 2011 02:37
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a life less posted:There are two things people simply won't budge on: dog training and religion. (Okay, there's probably more than two things...) And her response to that was: "Just for the record, here’s what I see: Conceptually, in terms of dogs themselves, the 2 points of view are not terribly divergent. In terms of their attitudes toward and manner of working with humans, however, your lecturer's paternalistic disdain and negativity are a totally turn-off to me. He condescends and intellectualizes, but there is no in vivo demonstration. This is key. Anybody can talk about a theory. With Cesar, one gets the in vivo, in a way that preserves dignity for both human and dog. Although Cesar bases his observations about dogs on a power model, he has morphed since his first season: he demonstrates “calm & assertive” these days—and has for several years—no kicking or physically dominating and no confusing of the dog with “unknowable rules.” And his interactions with humans are respectful and collegial." I guess she didn't like Dunbar? My reply, and the last I hope to have to give was "I'm sorry that you felt he was paternalistic and patronizing. Ian Dunbar has been training dogs with great success for 25 years, and I thought it was informative. Part of my problem with Cesar's methods is they haven't worked in a lasting way for you. When you tssssst at the dog, it stops its behavior for the time, but Maverick still pulls the next time you go out on the leash. You've had good success with positive reinforcement, giving him food, and I thought that video would be a good basis for the underlying ideas I was trying to express. (A better examination of the two methods is here: http://www.pitbulls.org/article/cesar-millan-good-and-bad) You had said you were interested in resources I could provide, so I was trying to do that. If you no longer want them, that's fine, but please understand that I was trying to act in a friendly manner with regards to a past conversation, not make you feel demeaned or talked down to. If you are interested, here is a positive reinforcement demonstration of a method to stop pulling on the leash: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sFgtqgiAKoQ If not, I understand." Comedy option: My mother has been a practicing clinical psychologist for 30 years. You'd think she would understand behaviorism.
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Jul 21, 2011 17:11
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wtftastic posted:I've never seen the term in vivo used that way, but with your mom's background I guess it makes sense. :I She's also maddeningly pretentious, but the how-and-why of my relationship with my mother could close down e/n in despair. If I didn't have 26 years of dealing with her (notice all the I-statements in my note to her, that poo poo drives my friends insane) I would probably have killed someone at that email. As it is I rolled my eyes, closed the laptop, and went to bed, resolving that the problem would still be there and stupid in the morning. I also think she watched the first minute of the Dunbar video, got angry, decided it was going to be 15 minutes of "insults" and stopped watching, but there's no way to ask her if that's true without making my life harder than it needs to be.
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Jul 21, 2011 17:51
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Kerfuffle posted:Susan is your mom the type to refuse to believe or learn anything new after they've decided what they've learned the first time is right? I spoke with my mother on the phone today, which was so frustrating I actually had to cry about it. Her problem with Dunbar in that video was he didn't "do anything" he "just talked." And anyway, she says Cesar doesn't claim to be a dog trainer, he's a PEOPLE trainer. (What does any of this mean? Lord only knows.) She claims Cesar teaches her to calm herself down and "own the dog" which, okay, sure, whatever. When asked she admitted that she has never done any independent research on Cesar and asked me what the worst he could do was. I tried to tell her that his methods were hazardous for Bully breeds, that they are sensitive dogs, and some of his methods will cause them to shut down or become violent. Then she tried to tell me I was talking about my own mental problems, abuse and depression, and that's the only reason I cared how she trained her dog. That's about when I gave up. I can't do this with her, it costs too much emotionally.
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Jul 23, 2011 01:57
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a life less posted:Yes because Dunbar has simply talked his way into being one of the foremost family dog trainers in the States. Fun fact: he doesn't actually know what a dog is. Oh my god this made me laugh for the first time today. FUN FACT: Ian Dunbar once spent 45 hours trying to teach a spider to fetch before he was told that "dogs are bigger than that."
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Jul 23, 2011 02:10
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a life less posted:Fun fact: Ian Dunbar's first draft was titled Before and After Skinning Your Puppy Fun Fact: Ian Dunbar is pretty sure that a Schipperke is something you serve with ice cream.
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Jul 23, 2011 03:01
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Flesh Forge posted:Your mom's a bully. Sorry to be the one to break it to you. Nah, my mom is dangerously insane. It's easy to confuse the two.
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Jul 23, 2011 05:04
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| # ¿ May 21, 2024 01:19 |
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I just wanted to tell you all that after a week and a half, my cat has mastered sit, and is working on come. My mom's gonna be so mad. 
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Aug 18, 2011 15:17
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