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Popehoist posted:Handball is usually given, especially in the box, even just for having your arms raised and the ball hitting them. You can't be 100% certain it wasn't just an extremely impressive act. How many more players are going to try to pull this stunt once they know they can get away with it? It's irrelevant. The question presupposes the act itself was accidental, not deliberate and came as a result of a player trying to stop himself from crashing headfirst into the goal post. It's not a deliberate handball.
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# ¿ Mar 22, 2011 04:12 |
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# ¿ Apr 24, 2024 16:02 |
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1. Tell the goalie to gently caress off. Red for being such a pussy. 2. Play the game, but if the players are slipping on the pitch and getting hurt, consider abandoning it. 3. Play on, but take the flag from the assistant and hit him with it.
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# ¿ Sep 9, 2011 11:38 |
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1. Send him back to the stands. Tell him to go eat a dick if he complains. 2. Goal. gently caress you, goalkeeper. 3. Award the goal, tell the goalkeeper he's a good sort after the game.
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# ¿ Sep 23, 2011 10:10 |
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1. Red card 2. Red card 3. Red card
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# ¿ Dec 9, 2011 09:24 |
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1. Red, then abandon the game. gently caress the crowd if they can't behave themselves and want to act like a bunch of animals. 2. No goal, goal kick probably. 3. Let him kick the ball, but disallow it. Indirect free kick from within the box to the defending team.
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# ¿ Jan 6, 2012 23:39 |
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1. Abandon game, file scathing report with FA. 2. If he wants to wear a scrumcap, then go ahead. Don't really see an issue with it. 3. No goal, indirect free kick to defending team.
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# ¿ Jan 14, 2012 02:35 |
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the sex ghost posted:1. Stop game, send off goal keeper, forcing the team to bring the original one back on. gently caress them for trying to pull a fast one, the cunts. 2. Report incident, have the assistant replaced. 3. Award as own-goal, red card.
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# ¿ Jan 20, 2012 10:30 |
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Scikar posted:1) I assume the keeper has switched with an outfield player, in which case it shouldn't be a problem? 1. Where's this stuff about an outfield player coming from? In the first half, The Yellow Bastards had one goalkeeper in goal. In the second half, they switched him with a new guy without bothering to tell you. 3. There was clear intent to deny a goal through illegal means.
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# ¿ Jan 20, 2012 10:51 |
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Scikar posted:It just says it's not the same keeper. If they made a sub without telling you then fine, but they might have just put a different starting player in goal and moved the keeper outfield which is fine. For the first one, you're overcomplicating things and inventing scenarios that aren't present and he's explicitly referred to as a "keeper," rather than "outfielder who switched places with keeper." I'm not even sure why you're insisting that it's an outfield player who's now in goal.
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# ¿ Jan 20, 2012 11:08 |
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1. You do nothing. As far as you're concerned, you're part of the pitch. If it ends up being a decisive moment in the game, apologise to the losing team's manager and include your own idiocy in your report. 2. Make him change the boots, include in report. 3. Let play continue after consulting stewards and security, but if crowd gets worse, stop game. Write scathing report, recommend massive fine and points deduction for the team with racist oval office supporters.
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# ¿ Jan 27, 2012 11:32 |
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1) Duct tape over the player names, write in proper names on permanent marker. - I've actually seen something like this. Way back in the early days of the J-League, one of the players from the Hiroshima team left his kit at the team hotel or something and didn't have a shirt. He was a starting player as well, so what happened was a fan in the crowd offered him the replica shirt he had, which they duct taped the guy's number on to and played with that. After the game, the fan went home with a cool souvenir. 2) Back to first offence, call both players dickheads and continue game. 3) Did the attacking player touch the ball? No. Who cares if he was in the offside position? Own goal, laugh heartily at defender and high five striker.
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# ¿ Feb 10, 2012 11:26 |
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1. Don't red card them, start doing your best to give the at least two goal scoring opportunities. gently caress the fuckers. Let them get relegated. Then, write a scathing report later, recommend they be docked points to ensure relegation. 2. No. 3. Card him.
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# ¿ Feb 17, 2012 10:33 |
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The guy who issued three yellow cards to the same guy in a world cup game?
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# ¿ Mar 5, 2012 07:23 |
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1. Goal, tell him to put his shoe back on. 2. Goal, red to defender. gently caress the fucker. 3. No. Tell di Matteo to wipe that creepy smile off his face.
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# ¿ Mar 23, 2012 10:18 |
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1. Stop the clock, have him looked at by the medical staff. If he's OK, let him play on. 2. Not seeing the problem here. Isn't it standard? 3. Corner kick, point and laugh at goalie.
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# ¿ Apr 7, 2012 10:02 |
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1. Offside. Also, book Balotelli for looking at the ref like that. 2. Stop play, drop ball. 3. Why is someone with a prosthetic leg out there in the first place? Also, gently caress it. Not offside. Unless there's a rule about players removing and lobbing parts of their gear and/or anatomy about to affect the movement of the ball or something.
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# ¿ Apr 12, 2012 22:53 |
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If only there were a way to find Keith Hackett's answers.
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# ¿ Apr 14, 2012 04:30 |
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1. Tell them to get rid of the armbands. If they refuse, abandon the game and declare it a forfeit to the other team. 2. Stop the game. Send manager to the stands, detail it in your report, recommend a lengthy ban. 3. Award the goal because the linesman wasn't there to let you know if it was offside or not. Red card to defender because he's a loving dickhead. If he's going to be a twat, he can do it in the stands.
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# ¿ Apr 20, 2012 20:08 |
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Mickolution posted:I thought a ref could give an offside decision on his own, now? It says the ref knew it was off. Punish the unsporting fuckers, I say.
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# ¿ Apr 20, 2012 22:16 |
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1. From the way the question is written, it seems like the kick and the guy getting onside were more or less simultaneous. Benefit of the doubt and thus cool goal, bro. 2. Yellow both of them - defender for lashing out like that. He's already had a bad day, he should have been taken out of the game a while ago so put the poor guy out of his misery. Yellow the striker for being a oval office. 3. Goal. Point and laugh at the diving oval office.
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# ¿ Apr 27, 2012 11:02 |
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1. "What's that? You forfeit? OK, then." 2. Does it even matter? 3. Award goal.
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# ¿ May 11, 2012 10:26 |
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1. Drop ball restart, kick ball boy in balls. Put into match report. 2. Yellow card to both, caution first player for not slipping some tongue. 3. Yellow to both, free kick because you were playing advantage for the first offence.
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# ¿ May 18, 2012 23:07 |
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1. Award goal, yellow. Laugh at defender. 2. Goal. gently caress your goalposts, dude. 3. Award goal, reach for pocket and tell the players crowding you to gently caress off unless they all want to be carded.
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# ¿ May 25, 2012 09:01 |
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1. Allow substitution to go ahead, point and laugh at keeper. Also, caution Steven Gerrard for giving you that look. 2. Cool goal bro. 3. You made the call, now live with it.
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# ¿ Jun 1, 2012 07:02 |
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1. Go back to the penalty. Red card to defender, drop ball in line with where the offence occurred. 2. poo poo yeah! I'm using it every game! 3. Share a smoke. edogawa rando fucked around with this message at 05:55 on Jun 8, 2012 |
# ¿ Jun 8, 2012 05:35 |
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1. Offside, tell keeper to gently caress off with that tone. 2. Tell the keeper to gently caress off, note in match report. 3. Offside
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# ¿ Jun 15, 2012 20:15 |
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1. Too late. Red to keeper for dissent. gently caress that guy. 2. IFK to keeper. Yellow for unsporting behaviour to the other bloke. 3. Way to go, dude. Cool goal.
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# ¿ Jun 22, 2012 11:23 |
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Mickolution posted:Why is it too late? Aside from the fact that the wording is ambiguous enough to suggest the kicker was feinting, if I, as the referee had an issue with it, I'd have blown it up. I'm not going to order a retake for something I initially had no problem with, just because the goal keeper is a whiny tit.
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# ¿ Jun 22, 2012 21:23 |
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1. Give them to the count of three and if they're still celebrating, book all of the reserves. 2. Handball. Booking. 3. Goal.
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# ¿ Jun 29, 2012 22:34 |
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1. Play on. 2. Award goal. 3. Play on.
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# ¿ Nov 2, 2012 18:24 |
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1) Have fan ejected and banned for life. Award goal. 2) Watch defenders closer, warn them that you'll drag them off the field by their faces if they don't sort out their behaviour. Tell striker to turn shin pads back around. 3) Cover up sponsor with tape and get on with the game. Give bloody shirt to fan as a souvenir.
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# ¿ Nov 30, 2012 18:45 |
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Ref mics are standard in other sports, so I'm quite curious as to why it's a bad idea.
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# ¿ Jan 16, 2013 10:52 |
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1. Award the goal, red card the lot of them, write a long report where you call them all cunts. 2. Replace towel for the second half, write lengthy match report, request drugs test for the keeper after the game. 3. Uppercut the ball boy, drop ball from where the ball went out of play.
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# ¿ Feb 8, 2013 20:18 |
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1) Goal kick 2) lol. Slap on the wrist for sub, point and laugh at striker. 3) Didn't see poo poo, goal. Write it in match report though.
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# ¿ Feb 15, 2013 03:05 |
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1. Goal. 2. Red, penalty kick. 3. It's not unusual for players to have their nickname written above their numbers.
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# ¿ Feb 22, 2013 10:34 |
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Hernandez plays with his nickname on his shirt, while Kazuyoshi Miura has done the same for pretty much his entire 30+-year career. And then we have the Brazilian players, most of whom go by their nicknames (yes, I know they have super long names, but still).
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# ¿ Feb 22, 2013 11:04 |
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Mickolution posted:In the Premier League, I think it's down to what name you register when you first join the division, I think. So assuming no 3 is at a level where players are registered, it would have to be the name he gave the league. True, but nothing in the question says his real name is what he's registered as. Also, does this mean Hernandez is registered as Chicharito, even though everyone refers to him as Hernandez anyway?
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# ¿ Feb 22, 2013 19:35 |
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Here's the quiz for you lazy sods. 1. Drop ball from that spot. 2. Yellow for simulation, IDK to defending team. gently caress that guy. 3. Second yellow, tell the oval office to poo poo off.
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# ¿ Mar 2, 2013 03:55 |
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1. Red card to both, penalty to attacking team. 2. Goal stands, send manager up to the stands where he can watch on the big screen. 3. Apologise for showing the wrong card, show yellow, then second yellow for dissent, write down in match report.
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# ¿ Apr 27, 2013 02:42 |
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# ¿ Apr 24, 2024 16:02 |
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1. Retake 2. Red, punch him in the face 3. Stop play so he can be removed from the field of play, corner.
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# ¿ Aug 15, 2013 22:59 |