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SteadfastMeat posted:It's Friday! #1: Take play back to the throw, send kit man to the stands, remind the player involved and both captains that the match ball has to be inspected. #2: Indirect free kick from the side, give the sub a warning for being a retard. #3: Red card the defender, award a penalty. Intent to blow the whistle, yadda yadda. (For all three, note them in your match report.) Thel fucked around with this message at 05:40 on Apr 16, 2011 |
# ¿ Apr 16, 2011 05:38 |
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# ¿ Apr 17, 2024 19:43 |
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1: Didn't kick it. Replace him and retake. 2: Huh. Depends if the ball was going to make it out of the box. Either a red card for the keeper (deliberate handball + obstruction of goalscoring opportunity), or if the ball wasn't going to leave the box then retake the goal-kick. 3: Red for deliberate handball + obstruction of goalscoring opportunity, award a penalty as well.
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# ¿ Apr 23, 2011 06:53 |
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SteadfastMeat posted:It's Friday! #1: If the ball didn't go outside of the box, retake the goal kick. Send the defender off for being a oval office. #2: Send them both off for being cunts. (Technically you could book the first guy for unsportsmanlike conduct then red the second guy for deliberately spitting at another player, but if you send the second guy off for spitting you can't really not march the first guy as well.) #3: Allow the goal, then cancel the game, call it a 3-0 away win because the home team can't keep their goalposts standing. (Also might depend on league rules. Other options: re-play the game at a later date, or shift to a different pitch at the same ground. Either way, goal stands.)
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# ¿ Sep 4, 2011 01:58 |
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JingleBells posted:Jesus the Rooney will haunt me forever. Anyway, back to football. - Red-card the substitute (note that since he wasn't actually in the playing 11 at the time this has no effect on the number of people on the pitch), award a penalty, report the sub to the league. - Yellow card both of them for being twats. - Goalkeepers are above your puny rules.
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# ¿ Sep 20, 2011 12:29 |
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SteadfastMeat posted:It's Friday! 1: oval office. Tell him to gently caress off. 2: Award the retake. Not sure what the issue is here. 3: Award the goal. e: Either I am the Worst Ref, or Keith Hackett is completely and utterly loving bonkers. e2: Actually. Could be both.
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# ¿ Sep 27, 2011 06:35 |
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SteadfastMeat posted:It's that time of the week again 1: If the gloves aren't a danger to anyone else, then whatever. If they are, force him to change. 2: Award the goal, tell the keeper he's a ginormous retard, and play on. 3: If the home club can't do anything about it (call the council/cops?), then you have to abandon the game and report it to the league. Leave it to the league to decide whether to reschedule or record an away win.
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# ¿ Oct 22, 2011 02:09 |
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pik_d posted:Steal his loving gloves, the oval office. Has Hackett jumped the shark yet?
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# ¿ Oct 24, 2011 10:36 |
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SteadfastMeat posted:It's Friday! (I'm not actually a ref) #1: Did the ball stop moving or had you whistled the play dead? If not, award it. #2: Dropped balls should be taken on the edge of the area. Beyond that, I don't think there's anything saying that goalies can't pick up a dropped ball restart (as long as it hits the ground). #3: Re-take the corner since the striker
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# ¿ Nov 18, 2011 11:08 |
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1: Sure can. If you can't do that, then call the game off with a away win by default because the home team failed to keep it's idiots under control. Likelihood of a ref ever actually doing this: 0% 2: Sure why not. 3: Nobody saw it, so the goal stands. If you're going for MAXIMUM oval office, book both of them for diving.
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# ¿ Nov 25, 2011 12:31 |
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# ¿ Dec 9, 2011 09:19 |
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Thel posted:1: He's not listed on the sheet so gently caress 'em. 2: Goal stands, there's no requirement in the LOAF for a player to be wearing boots. 3: Red card, he's still a oval office even if he's been allowed to get away with it before.
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# ¿ Dec 9, 2011 09:44 |
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1: Yellow card for deliberate delay of game (or unsportsmanlike conduct, I'm not sure if 'delay of game' is an official rule). Free kick from the sideline. 2: Negative. Goalposts must be white (as per the LOAF). Abandon the game unless they can replace the goalposts within 30 minutes (alternatively, they have that time to get busy with a bunch of white electrician's tape). 3: Fire yourself. Also, who supplied the match balls and what the gently caress were the ballboys doing. As for fixing the mess, get a match ball and have a drop ball from whereever the illegal ball entered play (use the center circle if you can't even figure that out). Also, note the entire mess in your match report and recommend the league investigate what the gently caress the host stadium was up to. (I'm working on the theory that since the ball was not up to standard, effectively that part of the game never happened. It'd be the same if a goal was scored.)
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# ¿ Dec 17, 2011 10:45 |
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Extended winter break? More like reffing 15 consecutive games in Trelawney Division 3.
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# ¿ Dec 20, 2011 03:30 |
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pik_d posted:1: Red. Can't avoid it - maybe bring the player in-field a bit (or more toward the centreline?) to get him away from the fans before you issue him the red? 2: Yellow card, free-kick for the defending team. 3: Whistle it dead after he finishes his fake runup, free-kick to the defending team.
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# ¿ Jan 6, 2012 23:10 |
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Masonity posted:It's the last minute of a derby. Call him over, explain the situation, tell him he's being sent off and will be reported as such in the match report, but in the interest of safety you won't be showing the red card. Then blow the whistle. Oh, you mean blow the whistle to end the game, thereby avoiding having thousands of rabid fans watching Mr Violent trek over to the showers?
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# ¿ Jan 7, 2012 02:41 |
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the sex ghost posted:1: Yellow card both keepers, have them swap back. Note it in the match report, suspect the gaffer is a oval office. 2: Replace him with the 4th official, note it in the match report. Talk to the ref manager afterward, get him busted back to Cotswolds fuddy-duddies division. 3: Intentional handball in the box is an automatic red card. So, card + penalty. e: Although, reading the Laws, it's only an automatic red for using your hands to deny an obvious goalscoring opportunity, and since the goal went in maybe it should stand and only be a yellow card? I don't even know.
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# ¿ Jan 21, 2012 12:36 |
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Semprini posted:1: Play on, make mental note to self to check the schedule for the Doveshire Sunday league because you're a loving muppet. Oh and that's where you'll be reffing after the match report goes in. 2: Caution him, make him change boots, note it in match report. 3: If the stadium security are happy, play on. Note it in your match report.
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# ¿ Jan 28, 2012 09:49 |
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the sex ghost posted:1: If he's moved the ball more than a foot or so, award an yellow card for timewasting/unsportsmanlike conduct or whatever. Otherwise, play on. 2: Yellow card both of them for unsportsmanlike conduct. Free kick to the defenders (the attacking yellow card happened after the defending one). 3: Still a backpass. No room for tricky dicky keepers in mah football! (IDFK to the attacking team from where the goalkeeper handled it.)
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# ¿ Feb 7, 2012 07:30 |
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the sex ghost posted:1: Game on. As long as you can tell the players apart it's all good. But seriously what muppets leave their loving kit behind? 2: If the first advantage was over you can play the second one. Personally I'd take it back to the first foul (although if the second foul was a bad one, deal with that as necessary). 3: It's offside because the striker was in a position to be involved in the play. Ergo it's a free kick from wherever he was.
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# ¿ Feb 10, 2012 11:23 |
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Unless it's a league/sponsor requirement, you don't need to have the names on the back of the shirt. You just need to be able to easily identify which team is which, and each player on a team needs a distinct number.
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# ¿ Feb 12, 2012 00:21 |
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the sex ghost posted:1: Abandon the game, but the score stands at 4-0. Write it in your match report, recommend the league take administrative action against the team and the fuckwits swearing at you. 2: If neither player is bothered by it and they're both on the same team then really what's the problem? Play on. 3: Red card him, direct FK from where the striker was hit. If it was inside the box, then a PK.
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# ¿ Feb 19, 2012 03:00 |
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the sex ghost posted:1: Red card the striker. Red card the defender for good measure. 2: Tell him if he does you'll card him for unsportsmanlike conduct. 3: Get the trainer on for some magic spray to fix him up. Then either drop ball on the 6y line, or IDFK on the 6 yard line (can you do this?).
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# ¿ Mar 31, 2012 13:01 |
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the sex ghost posted:These questions are getting more and more bizarre. How long until we see someone jumping a shark? Anyway: 1: No goal if he was offside when the original shot was hit. Otherwise, goal. 2: Straight red to the defender, second yellow + red for the striker. 3: Goal stands, have a word to the attacker to stop trying to haul the defender up.
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# ¿ Apr 28, 2012 01:42 |
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Masonity posted:1: Penalty/red card. He'll get a couple weeks off to heal up. 2: Note it in the match report, ref second half as normal. 3: Red card him. Since he hasn't actually been substituted yet, his team is down to 10 men.
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# ¿ May 5, 2012 02:44 |
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Lamont Cranston posted:1: Punch the ballboy in the face repeatedly. As for the result of that goalmouth scramble, dropped ball from the last place you knew the game ball was. Report the incident to the league. 2: Yellow card each way for unsportsmanlike conduct. Report the incident to the league. 3: Yellow card to the defender for unsportsmanlike conduct, free kick to the attacking team from where the attempted trip was.
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# ¿ May 19, 2012 09:54 |
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1: Let them replace him with someone from the team sheet, they'll have three subs to use during the game still. Also punch the keeper for being an idiot as he's carted to hospital. 2: Second yellow and a red for unsportsmanlike conduct, defense gets a free-kick on their six. Punch him as he's walking off. 3: Suck it up and stick with the original decision. Punch both the defender and striker just on general principles.
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# ¿ Jun 1, 2012 11:31 |
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Lamont Cranston posted:The time is once again upon us! 1: Deliberate clattering from behind = red card for the defender and PK/FK as appropriate. Note in match report. 2: Not happening. Tell the players to play to the whistle and suck it up. 1: Yellow card for unsportsmanlike conduct (bringing the game into disrepute). Note in match report.
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# ¿ Jun 9, 2012 05:29 |
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1: Uh. The offside player interfered with play (by virtue of blocking the keeper's vision). Call it offside and give your linesman a gold star. 2: He's a muppet. Stay out of punching range but order him to take them off. 3: Ball is in play and there's only one defender between them and the goal => offside. If, on the other hand, the corner taker moved to behind the line of the ball before it was played back to him, then he's onside.
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# ¿ Jun 16, 2012 10:35 |
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Lamont Cranston posted:it's the greatest tradition in world football 1) Tell them to gently caress off. Anyone gives you any lip or a dirty look, they get a yellow card for unsportsmanlike conduct or delay of game or something. 2} Handball, FK to the defenders. 3) Goal.
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# ¿ Jun 29, 2012 23:54 |
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Law 5: The referee should stop/suspend/abandon the game because of outside interference. (and according to Law 6, the AR may bring to the referee's attention any incident occurring outside of the view of the referee.) Although, I think the appropriate restart is a drop ball from where it was when the dog ran onto the pitch. Or where the ball was when the dog started interfering with the match, if that's different from above. Alternatively, if the dog was released deliberately by supporters of one team, you could give a direct free kick to the other team - but that's fairly unlikely. e: Yeah, phantom offside is completely the wrong call in this situation. Not as wrong as letting the goal stand, IMO, but still wrong.
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# ¿ Sep 24, 2012 06:34 |
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1) Goal, yellow to the defender and tell him that if the striker hadn't stayed up it'd be red. 2) Fine, play on. 3) Seriously, what sort of gonzo manager brings 10 outfield shirts and no spares to a game? That said, as long as his vest is substantially the same color as his team shirt and there's no confusion between his vest and the opposition shirt, then it's all good in my book.
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# ¿ Oct 20, 2012 13:44 |
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#1 and #2 are Pure Hackett™ #2 is just bizarre. Striker hands his shirt to his marker and Hackett's response is to book the marker? Bwuh.
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# ¿ Nov 14, 2012 18:13 |
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#1: Yellow for unsportsmanlike, replace the AR with the 4th. #2: Call the police, abandon the match with no result recorded, and leave the entire mess with the FA to decide. Then run like gently caress for the safety of the dressing room. #3: If the ball is wedged in the corner of the goal frame, then you hosed up because it didn't cross the line. Drop ball on the 6. If however the ball's in the net but it wrapped around the crossbar (have actually seen this happen), then that should be a goal (because at some point the ball had to cross the line).
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# ¿ Nov 16, 2012 10:16 |
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1: Fine by me. Make them get their spare goalie kit out so you don't waste five minutes between each penalty. 2: Red card the taker, chalk it up as a miss. One of the few occasions where punching him in the face is fully justified. 3: Red card them both, and note in the match report that they're conspiring to alter the course of a match in a manner inconsistent with the Laws of the Game. Watch the FA come down on them like a ton of bricks while doing your best impression. 3, option 2: punch them both in the face, hard. Then make them take their penalties.
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# ¿ Nov 24, 2012 22:41 |
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Semprini posted:It's Friday! 1: Have security/police take the pen away and eject the fan. No goal, retake corner. 2: Tell the striker to put his shinpads back the right way around, then watch the defenders like a hawk to see if he's actually being hacked at or just being a giant manbaby. 3: As long as the shirt is sufficiently close to the current kit to not cause confusion (same color/general pattern, not close to the ref/goalie/other team's kit), then allow it and play on. (Also, note it in your match report and arrange for the kitman to be punched in the face.) Otherwise, have him steal a shirt off an unused sub.
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# ¿ Nov 30, 2012 22:49 |
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1: The gently caress were you doing that close to a goalmouth scramble? Anyway, play on. Unless the goalie punched you or something in the process of boosting himself, there's no foul there. 2: Um gently caress. Replacing him with the fourth is the very least you can do. Otherwise, abandon the match for no result and recommend to the league they replay it. (the latter would be my recommendation, the game is sort of screwed by those two dodgy penalties.) Alternatively, play the game out with the fourth official running the line, and if the team that benefited from the dodgy penalties loses, recommend the result stand, otherwise strongly recommend a replay (all in your match report obviously). Fourth option is to whip out your cellphone and call your assigner/referee manager/bossman and ask them what the gently caress you should do. 3: If you're in a good mood, laugh at him. If you're in a grump, second yellow + red for unsportsmanlike conduct/bringing the game into disrepute. Note it in your match report.
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# ¿ Jan 4, 2013 10:02 |
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What, Hackett with sensible and reasonable decisions? Clearly the Apocalypse was merely slightly misscheduled.
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# ¿ Jan 7, 2013 10:16 |
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1: If the handball was in the box then it's a straight red. If not then it's a second yellow. (Hackett will come up with some bollocks to justify only a single yellow though.) 2: Is offside, no goal. Yellow card the defender and award a penalty. If you want to be a real dick, award a straight red for DOGSO, although that would require obstruction of the attacker with a clear goalscoring opportunity, whereas the way I read it the defender obstructed the attacker before there was a clear goalscoring opportunity. 3: How the hell is he working a cellphone with goalie gloves? Anyway, take it off him and give it to the fourth official. Yellow card him if he argues.
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# ¿ Jan 12, 2013 04:32 |
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Lamont Cranston posted:The transfer window's closed, now it's time to get back to what's really important about football: 1: Yellow and advantage for the shirt rip, then penalty and red for the keeper bringing the striker down. Make the striker get a new shirt. 2: Tell him to harden up. 3: Keeper had control of the ball, but handling a backpass is an indirect free kick from where the keeper handled it. If the striker has kicked the ball out of the goalkeeper's hands well after he's established control of it, then it's a yellow card and defensive free kick. If the striker made contact with the goalie and it was late, then straight red.
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# ¿ Feb 2, 2013 10:06 |
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# ¿ Apr 17, 2024 19:43 |
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Um, with #1 that doesn't seem right. If you're going to dismiss the defender for yanking the shirt, shouldn't you blow it dead right there? And I just checked, and apparently the only place you can play advantage after a red-card offence is if there's a goalscoring opportunity afterward.
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# ¿ Feb 4, 2013 21:35 |