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TheParadigm
Dec 10, 2009

T.G. Xarbala posted:


Are we talking remote VDNI?


That, or weapons-testing drone tech. Iirc you can have autonomous robo-mechs, that just get reallly wonky when EW is involved, right?

Or a partial mix of the two.

Say, a mech that can boot itself up and walk to a rendesvous on its own.

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BMcDonough
Jul 30, 2013

Wales Grey posted:

Captain-General Duncan Marik and the Khans eyed each other across the table. This would require a delicate touch, Duncan thought to himself as he gestured for an aide.
"We have been betrayed by Amaris, but they are technically our ally so we can not just let you -" The Captain-General's politicking was interrupted as an aide with arms flailing tripped over the door's threshold. The thick manila folders the unfortunate staffer had been carrying were launched into the room, discharging paper everywhere like a tan epileptic goose having a molt mid-flight.

"Oh god why can't this SAFE intern hold all these confidential navigational charts?" Duncan Marik cried, waving his arms above his head, "These would surely cut the time needed to go through the Free Worlds League by weeks if not months and conveniently bypass our most fortified systems!"

The room went silent and still, save for the rustle of falling paper and the waggling of Duncan's eyebrows.

I... you... this... I just... I can't even...

:golfclap:

Sir, you are a scholar and a gentlegoon.

Calax
Oct 5, 2011

T.G. Xarbala posted:

Trout Knights
And now I have images of mechs with a giant Trout over their chests... and gauss cannons that fire cubes of frozen fish at their enemies.

Arglebargle III
Feb 21, 2006

It means the NRWR is run by Tullys. This can't end well.

Kirenski
Sep 5, 2012

Wales Grey posted:

Captain-General Duncan Marik and the Khans eyed each other across the table. This would require a delicate touch, Duncan thought to himself as he gestured for an aide.
"We have been betrayed by Amaris, but they are technically our ally so we can not just let you -" The Captain-General's politicking was interrupted as an aide with arms flailing tripped over the door's threshold. The thick manila folders the unfortunate staffer had been carrying were launched into the room, discharging paper everywhere like a tan epileptic goose having a molt mid-flight.

"Oh god why can't this SAFE intern hold all these confidential navigational charts?" Duncan Marik cried, waving his arms above his head, "These would surely cut the time needed to go through the Free Worlds League by weeks if not months and conveniently bypass our most fortified systems!"

The room went silent and still, save for the rustle of falling paper and the waggling of Duncan's eyebrows.

Oh man, that's great. You can hear the waggling of eyebrows, they're waggling that hard.

Nektu
Jul 4, 2007

FUKKEN FUUUUUUCK
Cybernetic Crumb
Is it just me or is PoptartsNinjas writing getting better and better?

Now the only thing thats left for goonlance to do is a heroic comeback against all odds for true :battletech: dramaturgy, and he could publish that poo poo right here and now.

evilmiera
Dec 14, 2009

Status: Ravenously Rambunctious

Wales Grey posted:

Captain-General Duncan Marik and the Khans eyed each other across the table. This would require a delicate touch, Duncan thought to himself as he gestured for an aide.
"We have been betrayed by Amaris, but they are technically our ally so we can not just let you -" The Captain-General's politicking was interrupted as an aide with arms flailing tripped over the door's threshold. The thick manila folders the unfortunate staffer had been carrying were launched into the room, discharging paper everywhere like a tan epileptic goose having a molt mid-flight.

"Oh god why can't this SAFE intern hold all these confidential navigational charts?" Duncan Marik cried, waving his arms above his head, "These would surely cut the time needed to go through the Free Worlds League by weeks if not months and conveniently bypass our most fortified systems!"

The room went silent and still, save for the rustle of falling paper and the waggling of Duncan's eyebrows.

That description of the staffer going nuts would make me vote 10 on this thread if I could.

PoptartsNinja
May 9, 2008

He is still almost definitely not a spy


Soiled Meat
Just an FYI: I got called in to work on my day off (hooray), so the update may be delayed. I'm still going to try to get it finished before I have to leave.

Zeroisanumber
Oct 23, 2010

Nap Ghost

PoptartsNinja posted:

Just an FYI: I got called in to work on my day off (hooray), so the update may be delayed. I'm still going to try to get it finished before I have to leave.

Got a picture of PTN in his natural environment:

PoptartsNinja
May 9, 2008

He is still almost definitely not a spy


Soiled Meat
Hastilude: Tactical Update 17



Sir Ryden hung bonelessly from the Anvil’s restraining straps. He’d gone limp when he’d felt the Anvil going over, and had barely felt the impact. Or maybe there just wasn’t enough left of his machine to really shake him. His machine had been stripped of protection and then dismantled with an almost surgical precision, if he just stayed down would anyone fault him?

Dozens of red, yellow, or rarely green dots seemed to stare at him from the Anvil’s damage diagnostic display. Ryden closed his eyes, shutting them out, and his hands tightened on the controls. Standing quickly in combat was difficult even with two arms and a gyro that wasn’t threatening to shake itself to pieces. Ryden twisted, got a knee under the Anvil’s body, and used the limb like a lever to stagger to his feet.

The Clan machine twisted on its broad hips, its remaining arm rising almost casually—like a man putting down an injured animal. Well, if this was to be his execution, Ryden was still going to go down fighting. His thumb triggered the machine’s primary target interlock circuit and squeezed his eyes shut. The medium laser mounted just below the Anvil’s cockpit still burned a bright purple path on his retina, even through his closed eyes. Although the laser itself was largely undetectable by the human eye, enough power refracted in the atmosphere to give it a definable shape and with no light-sensitive transplex to protect him Ryden was in serious danger of blinding himself every time that laser fired.

The shot missed, passing a meter over the distant `Mech’s head. Hanging loose on its moorings, the belly-mounted laser scoured armor from the Clan machine’s leg. A wave of red crossed the damage diagnostic display as the Clanner fired, and then the cockpit went dark.







Movement Phase
Knights Anvil
- Must pass a piloting test to stand (4 base + 3 hip damage - 2 careful stand = 5): rolled 5, succeeds!



Combat Phase
Knights Wraith
- Torso-twists to threaten hex 1630!
- Fires Large Pulse Laser at Clan Wraith (3 base + 2 range + 3 movement + 4 enemy movement + 1 light woods - 2 Pulse Laser = 11): rolled 7, miss!
- Gains 14 heat, sinks 20!

Knights Anvil
- Fires Medium Laser at Clan Grizzly (4 base + 0 range + 2 movement + 1 enemy movement + 1 light woods = 8): rolled 7, miss!
- Fires Medium Laser at Clan Grizzly (4 base + 0 range + 2 movement + 1 enemy movement + 1 light woods = 8): rolled 11, hit Right Leg (1/27 armor remains)!
- Gains 18 heat, sinks 24!

Clan Wraith
- Fires Large Pulse Laser at Knights Wraith (3 base + 2 range + 3 movement + 2 enemy movement + 1 light woods - 2 Pulse Laser = 9): rolled 8, miss!
- Gains 17 heat, sinks 20!

Clan Orion
- Holds fire!
- Gains 2 heat, sinks 22!

Clan Grizzly
- Torso-twists to threaten hex 1225!
- Fires Large Pulse Laser at Knights Anvil (3 base + 0 range + 2 movement + 0 enemy movement + 1 light woods - 2 Pulse Laser = 4): rolled 7, hit Center Torso (0/20 structure remains)! `Mech destroyed!
- Gains 12 heat, sinks 22!



Unit Status:


Knights of the Inner Sphere Mission Objectives:
- Win (incomplete)

Hastilude Enemy Movement Mods:
- Wraith – Jumped +4
- Orion – Stationary +0
- Grizzly – Walked +0



Next Orders Due: Saturday Night!

PoptartsNinja fucked around with this message at 16:09 on Mar 13, 2014

KnoxZone
Jan 27, 2007

If I die before I Wake, I pray the Lord my soul to take.
Time for 15 turns of Wraith on Wraith action.

Voyager I
Jun 29, 2012

This is how your posting feels.
🐥🐥🐥🐥🐥
That Anvil has 18 points of structure left, mostly in the one leg that didn't get through armor.

That is some pretty :stare: zombie work right there, though now I just feel bad for the mechanics.

Ardlen
Sep 30, 2005
WoT



The mechanics would be better off just putting the blown off Anvil pieces together.

Affi
Dec 18, 2005

Break bread wit the enemy

X GON GIVE IT TO YA
Time to throw in the towel. This is not a fight that is winnable anymore. You can only delay the inevitable. (And if delaying is necessary for Duncan to do some last minute plotting maybe that is something that should be added to the win conditions?)

JT Jag
Aug 30, 2009

#1 Jaguars Sunk Cost Fallacy-Haver
Yep, the Wraith should probably just surrender at this point.

Or get in the middle of the three of them and Stackpole.

One of the two.

Voyager I
Jun 29, 2012

This is how your posting feels.
🐥🐥🐥🐥🐥

Affi posted:

Time to throw in the towel. This is not a fight that is winnable anymore. You can only delay the inevitable. (And if delaying is necessary for Duncan to do some last minute plotting maybe that is something that should be added to the win conditions?)

Hey now, technically the Wraith has a reasonable chance against its mirror if the Grizzly also decides to sit out because of honor, and both the Grizzly and the Orion are potential OHKOs. It's not likely, but it's not an unimaginable comeback.

That said please god don't make us watch the Wraiths dance for the next month.

Affi
Dec 18, 2005

Break bread wit the enemy

X GON GIVE IT TO YA
Well I guess he and PTN could get together on IRC and just cram out like 30 turns worth of jumping around and shooting..?

goatface
Dec 5, 2007

I had a video of that when I was about 6.

I remember it being shit.


Grimey Drawer
DFA the Grizzly.

You know you want to.

PoptartsNinja
May 9, 2008

He is still almost definitely not a spy


Soiled Meat
Steps have been taken, Wales still gets a fair shot to win (but it's going to take a lot of luck).

Zeroisanumber
Oct 23, 2010

Nap Ghost

Voyager I posted:

That Anvil has 18 points of structure left, mostly in the one leg that didn't get through armor.

That is some pretty :stare: zombie work right there, though now I just feel bad for the mechanics.

That mech is scrap. When the CT is gone, it's pretty much down to stripping it for parts.

evilmiera
Dec 14, 2009

Status: Ravenously Rambunctious
I knew I could count on my clanner buddies to stay strong through this. (Well fought, players, glad to see this moving along though)

Wales Grey
Jun 20, 2012
Well, Can't say I didn't see that coming.

PoptartsNinja
May 9, 2008

He is still almost definitely not a spy


Soiled Meat

Wales Grey posted:

Well, Can't say I didn't see that coming.

I was sure you were going to jump to 0430 and go for a backshot. I was positioned to capitalize on that and when it didn't happen I got to say: "Welp, I'm completely out of position!"

Mezzanon
Sep 16, 2003

Pillbug

PoptartsNinja posted:

I was sure you were going to jump to 0430 and go for a backshot. I was positioned to capitalize on that and when it didn't happen I got to say: "Welp, I'm completely out of position!"

Yesssss! This game is great, and I do hope PTN and Wales just go to IRC and fire off 20 turns in rapid fire.


And then I one day get picked to pilot a komodo, my one and only dream.

JT Jag
Aug 30, 2009

#1 Jaguars Sunk Cost Fallacy-Haver
I'm up soon. Would be nice if PoptartsNinja includes a Hauptmann in the scenario just for me. Alas, I don't think the Lyrans will be able to produce a unique Omnimech in such a short period of time.

Also I'd get it killed in a few turns because I have absolutely no Battletech experience.

apostateCourier
Oct 9, 2012


It's time to do something crazy.

DFA that Grizzly!

PoptartsNinja
May 9, 2008

He is still almost definitely not a spy


Soiled Meat
PFFT, DFAs are for squares.

Get behind it and use the Grab attack to suplex it instead!

goatface
Dec 5, 2007

I had a video of that when I was about 6.

I remember it being shit.


Grimey Drawer
Pick up the Grizzly's right arm and club him with it.

Crigit
Sep 6, 2011

I'll show you my naval if you show me yours.
Let's get naut'y.

PoptartsNinja posted:

PFFT, DFAs are for squares.

Get behind it and use the Grab attack to suplex it instead!

If the GM says it then it must be a legal move! Now you have to do it.

Raised by Hamsters
Sep 16, 2007

and hopped up on bagels
Welp, so long my little Anvil friend. Rest in the many, many pieces you left scattered on the battlefield.

Good luck Wales!

PoptartsNinja
May 9, 2008

He is still almost definitely not a spy


Soiled Meat

Raised by Hamsters posted:

Welp, so long my little Anvil friend. Rest in the many, many pieces you left scattered on the battlefield.

Good luck Wales!

Whatever else happens: know that you Zombie'd really, really well. I've only ever seen one `Mech more thoroughly destroyed. :psyduck:

PoptartsNinja fucked around with this message at 03:35 on Mar 13, 2014

Gniwu
Dec 18, 2002

PoptartsNinja posted:

Standing quickly in combat was difficult even with two arms a gyro that wasn’t threatening to shake itself to pieces.

There's an 'and' missing before 'a gyro'.

PoptartsNinja
May 9, 2008

He is still almost definitely not a spy


Soiled Meat
Hastilude: Tactical Update 18



“Are you running away, little scientist?” The Clanner in the Wraith asked mockingly as his machine leapt into the air to follow Dr. Sequord’s strategic retreat. “Your plan was quite good, it’s just a pity it relied so heavily on a crippled machine. Come and face me. The others won’t interfere in my victory!”

Dr. Sequord paid the speaker no mind. Whatever assurances the Clanner gave were meaningless—better to string them out, get a little distance, and then force a one-on-one confrontation. The enemy could still be isolated, contained, and then dissected. They were good fighters but their strategies were basic. Then again: it was hard to screw up a simple strategy.

She was looking forward to analyzing this battle later. She just had to win it first!







Combat Phase
Knights Wraith
- Holds fire!
- Gains 7 heat, sinks 20!

Clan Wraith
- No Line of Sight to target!
- Gains 7 heat, sinks 20!

Clan Orion
- Holds fire!
- Gains 2 heat, sinks 22!

Clan Grizzly
- Holds fire!
- Gains 4 heat, sinks 22!



Unit Status:


Knights of the Inner Sphere Mission Objectives:
- Win (incomplete)

Hastilude Enemy Movement Mods:
- Wraith – Jumped +4
- Orion – Stationary +0
- Grizzly – Jumped +2



Next Orders Due: Saturday Night!

PoptartsNinja fucked around with this message at 20:00 on Mar 13, 2014

goatface
Dec 5, 2007

I had a video of that when I was about 6.

I remember it being shit.


Grimey Drawer
I assume the Grizzly actually jumped rather than walk?

PoptartsNinja
May 9, 2008

He is still almost definitely not a spy


Soiled Meat
Copy-paste error. It did indeed jump.

goatface
Dec 5, 2007

I had a video of that when I was about 6.

I remember it being shit.


Grimey Drawer
I really want him to keep jumping around, fail a gyro-check and fall over, crushing his own head.

Voyager I
Jun 29, 2012

This is how your posting feels.
🐥🐥🐥🐥🐥
I assume it would be doubleplusunhonorable to dogpile onto the last remaining opponent in a trial?

goatface
Dec 5, 2007

I had a video of that when I was about 6.

I remember it being shit.


Grimey Drawer
It would be rude! You've got to let their partner at least have their go at the one-on-one and die first.

PoptartsNinja
May 9, 2008

He is still almost definitely not a spy


Soiled Meat
Hastilude: Tactical Update 19



“Stop dragging this out, and just kill her already.” saKhan Richard Magnus grunted as he stared listlessly as the battle played out in real-time. His sharply-angled chin rested on the backs of his hands and the small man’s large, ice-blue eyes glistened in the light of the holotank. The saKhan’s meager one-hundred forty-seven centimeter height and large cranium marked him as a member of the pilot phenotype; but his black hair was atypical of the Magnus bloodline, atypical even of his sibko. He’d been a genetic anomaly, a one-in-a-hundred-thousand fluke, which had singled him out for persecution by his sibkin. While his kin had explored soft trivialities like emotions and comraderie, Richard had explored only the depths of his hatred for them. He’d risen to every challenge, leapt every hurdle, and succeeded far beyond his own childish imaginings while reveling in the failures of his own “brothers” and “sisters.” Even after he’d earned his rank and name, he still took great satisfaction in slowly poisoning the careers of the few survivors. Richard was vicious, angry, and terrifyingly efficient; and he was at his most dangerous when he was bored.

“That is a very unClan sentiment. Who amongst us would not enjoy teaching an uppity scientist her place?”

There were few in the command center who would speak to him in such a way; but Richard was unperturbed. Loremaster Lynn McKenna had long-ago earned his respect. She was like him—petit for a Mechwarrior, she’d been singled out by her own sibkin and like Magnus she’d succeeded in spite of their best efforts. He said nothing for a few moments and simply watched the Ghost Bear warrior flail ineffectually against the smaller Inner Sphere machine. It was almost an embarrassment—and he suspected Khan Tseng would’ve agreed, were the woman near-enough to consult.

“An example needs to be made quickly and brutally,” he countered, “or the enemy will learn the wrong lesson.”

“She’s actually quite good,” Lynn McKenna said. “The enemy warrior. She keeps her jumps low to the ground, and her stance wide—difficult prey for a fighter, quiaff? I think there is no shame in her designing a BattleMech: our own warriors design their own `Mechs all the time. How much harder it must have been for a warrior with no access to an OmniMech? She seems worthy of respect.”

“They are all completely graceless.”

A well-muscled hand squeezed the saKhan’s left shoulder as Lynn McKenna leaned in closer and mused poetically, “You only say that because you have danced amongst fiery blossoms in the void. To a pilot, all Mechwarriors are graceless. You wish this Captain-General Duncan Marik had bid a fighter star, so that you could show him what true battle is, quiaff?”

“Aff,” he agreed. “I do.”

Lynn McKenna nodded. “Do not denigrate this enemy, my Khan. They bid well and fight as true warriors. To think ill of them dishonors our own warriors.”

“Our warriors hardly need my help dishonoring themselves,” Richard growled disagreeably, but he shifted a moment later to get a better vantage for the end of the battle. He stared down at the tiny machines with unmoving, nearly-unblinking eyes like a hunting owl about to swoop silently upon a mouse. Lynn McKenna smiled—she’d piqued the saKhan’s interest. He was now plotting how he would attack such a canny, mobile foe.

At the far end of the room, a warrior stood and turned. “My Khan! We are receiving a transmission from Captain-General Duncan Marik. He’s requesting to speak with the Khan!”

Richard’s eyes flashed in anger for a moment as his thoughts were interrupted. “Has Michael returned to the James McKenna?” When the officer nodded, Richard smiled. “Good. Then put this “Duncan Marik” on.”







Combat Phase
Knights Wraith
- Fires Large Pulse Laser at Clan Grizzly (3 base + 0 range + 3 movement + 2 enemy movement - 2 Pulse Laser = 6): rolled 10, hit Right Torso (1/23 armor remains)!
- Fires Medium Pulse Laser at Clan Grizzly (3 base + 0 range + 3 movement + 2 enemy movement - 2 Pulse Laser = 6): rolled 7, hit Left Arm (4/22 armor remains)!
- Fires Medium Pulse Laser at Clan Grizzly (3 base + 0 range + 3 movement + 2 enemy movement - 2 Pulse Laser = 6): rolled 6, hit Left Torso (4/23 armor remains)!
- Gains 25 heat, sinks 20! Overheating!

Clan Wraith
- Holds fire!
- Gains 7 heat, sinks 20!

Clan Orion
- Holds fire!
- Gains 0 heat, sinks 22!

Clan Grizzly
Fires Large Pulse Laser at Knights Wraith (3 base + 0 range + 3 movement + 4 enemy movement + 1 light woods - 2 Pulse Laser = 9): rolled 7, miss!
- Fires Medium Pulse Laser at Knights Wraith (3 base + 0 range + 3 movement + 4 enemy movement + 1 light woods - 2 Pulse Laser = 9): rolled 7, miss!
- Fires Small Pulse Laser at Knights Wraith (3 base + 0 range + 3 movement + 4 enemy movement + 1 light woods - 2 Pulse Laser = 9): rolled 4, miss!
- Fires LRM-10 at Knights Wraith (3 base + 0 range + 3 movement + 4 enemy movement + 1 light woods = 11): rolled 9, miss!
- Gains 24 heat, sinks 22!



Unit Status:


Knights of the Inner Sphere Mission Objectives:
- Win (incomplete)

Hastilude Enemy Movement Mods:
- Wraith – Jumped +4
- Orion – Stationary +0
- Grizzly – Walked +0



Next Orders Due: Tuesday Night!

PoptartsNinja fucked around with this message at 00:12 on Mar 16, 2014

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Dolash
Oct 23, 2008

aNYWAY,
tHAT'S REALLY ALL THERE IS,
tO REPORT ON THE SUBJECT,
oF ME GETTING HURT,


A lucky turn. Winning at this rate would still be incredibly difficult and unlikely, but at least you're not out of it yet.

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