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AtomikKrab posted:Centurion gets a boost for going toe to toe with the axman in a david vs. goliath match. Yeah, true. One of those turns it even got a shot off from its rear arc for no return fire. Goatse James Bond fucked around with this message at 17:34 on Mar 16, 2012 |
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Mar 16, 2012 17:28
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PoptartsNinja posted:Think of it like a game of Paranoia: you're all going to die anyway so you may as well make it as hilarious as possible! The Tarcomp is your friend?
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Mar 16, 2012 17:30
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GreyjoyBastard posted:The audience would be plenty entertained by "players blob up on the bottom floor and smash the firing button until everything is dead", but that's not exactly an interesting tactical scenario for the players. This is very true, it's why I'm not at all upset about this break-up. Still, I am changing the mission objective again. It is now: Have Fun And yes. The DI Computer is always your friend. VVV You guys get weird when I can't update. PoptartsNinja fucked around with this message at 19:04 on Mar 16, 2012 |
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Mar 16, 2012 17:37
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PoptartsNinja posted:Still, I am changing the mission objective again. It is now: Alright, it's robot sex time!!!
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Mar 16, 2012 19:01
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PoptartsNinja posted:VVV You guys get weird when I can't update. * Or so I keep trying to tell everyone who will listen. He just had to couch it in metaphors since he was a poet (and also the times might have been slightly less tolerant than ours.)
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Mar 16, 2012 19:45
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They advertise sex jelly 24/7 on the TV now, it's become acceptable behavior to give a woman a vibrator at her bachelorette party, and poor radio talk show hosts can't even call sexually active women sluts anymore. It won't be long until the Sunday paper has coupons for sexbots, and you can rent feelies at your local Walmart's Redbox.
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Mar 16, 2012 20:49
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TildeATH posted:Alright, it's robot sex time!!! Don't Date Robots!
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Mar 16, 2012 21:09
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Bad Moon posted:Don't Date Robots! You loving bigots make me sick. e: And, for the record, the robots are supposed to be having sex with each other, you sickos.
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Mar 16, 2012 22:59
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Wha... 
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Mar 16, 2012 23:08
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This thread has gone to a bad place...
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Mar 16, 2012 23:12
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TildeATH posted:You loving bigots make me sick. Don't you see what misery that leads too! http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3427893&userid=0&perpage=40&pagenumber=0
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Mar 16, 2012 23:13
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Axe-man posted:Don't you see what misery that leads too! What the poo poo is that? PM me or something. Also this thread goes to bad places. Please stop.
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Mar 16, 2012 23:32
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TildeATH posted:You loving bigots make me sick. 
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Mar 17, 2012 00:28
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As mentioned several times before, there are no major plot ramifications at stake in the scenario so people aren't especially invested in seeing particular representatives win. At least not by default, player actions and circumstances can change things as the turns play out. (Go, Centurion!) From the start, thread entertainment was the only thing at stake. So players might be enjoying themselves but the rest of the thread might not be, and as can be seen in the fluff portions of the update the players haven't been giving PTN much to work with so we're even missing out on that, too. Even had the mission parameters not been changed as part of some desperate thread triage (we've been going at this for a month, guys!), you could drat well bet that even should someone win by ducking out of trouble and sweeping in for a last minute kill, that person wouldn't stand a chance against Phil Capet. That said, it was pretty clear Boyo was going after Alvarez last turn only to see his target duck back down to the level he was on. We can turn on the stereo, start playing Yakety Sax, and not stop until he does something suitably dramatic. Possibly involving gravity, flipping everyone else off, and stealing the first kill by being a right bastard. Which would also be entertaining.
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Mar 17, 2012 01:36
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The only time this thread has made me drink was when I was submitting orders. That led to the JUSTICE FOOT! Now, the thread makes me want to, and I doubt there will be such a happy ending....
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Mar 17, 2012 01:43
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Why does the thread keep regressing to sex?  A hundred different directions it could derail in, but it leaps for this one every time...
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Mar 17, 2012 03:53
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Malachite_Dragon posted:Why does the thread keep regressing to sex? I have no idea. It creeps me out just a touch, too. Still waiting on the Axman, whom I believe has some RL concerns at the moment so I'm being forgiving.
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Mar 17, 2012 04:25
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b0lt posted:Now, there's a sourcebook I can get behind.
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Mar 17, 2012 04:55
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TildeATH posted:Now, there's a sourcebook I can get behind. Don't blame you, the samurai's a pretty awesome aero.
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Mar 17, 2012 06:19
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Any discussion on ASFs inevitably becomes me yelling "EISENSTURM!!!" because there's no answer to that.
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Mar 17, 2012 09:27
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Defiance Industries posted:Any discussion on ASFs inevitably becomes me yelling "EISENSTURM!!!" because there's no answer to that. Then I yell out "HYDASPES!!!" and we do the ASF equivalent of throwing two bricks at each other.
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Mar 17, 2012 10:06
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So, uhhh, how 'bout them Lyrans? They seem to be in a bit of pinch, huh? Sure do wonder how that whole Free Skye thing's gonna turn out...
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Mar 17, 2012 10:13
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It may look bad now, sure. But really, it's all just setting the stage for the ascent of the Grand Duchy of Furillo.
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Mar 17, 2012 10:16
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Axman Bit of a breather period now, after I got to fulfill my self-set primary objective.  Gonna get somewhat more reckless again soon. Next turn might be uneventful, but after that I'll get more exciting again, I promise.I have to apologise for being late with my orders this week. Technical difficulties. Read: I'm living in a little backwater village with no wireless reception and some idiot crashed his car into the above-ground junction box, causing the entire goddamn village to have no internet or phone connection. Telekom says it'll be fixed by Monday.
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Mar 17, 2012 16:35
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As far as side conversations go, I'd really like to hear speculation from some people more familiar with the setting about the NRWR and the role it may play. I get that the Clans might decide to shift objectives if they find out about it. But what are the odds that in this timeline, the NRWR has a huge cache of SLDF mechs or advanced tech of some kind? Also, any thoughts about one or two of the other new nations that cropped up in the last political map? Are the Taurians going to join in the game, so to speak? Might the Tortuga pirates decide to shift to conquest in the hopes that the Draconis Suns can't spare forces to cover its periphery?
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Mar 17, 2012 17:37
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Orders are in? Excellent, let's turn this thing in to a Michael Bay film! I want explosions and I want them NOW.
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Mar 17, 2012 18:32
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paragon1 posted:So, uhhh, how 'bout them Lyrans? They seem to be in a bit of pinch, huh? Sure do wonder how that whole Free Skye thing's gonna turn out... I think they get absorbed by the Steel Vipers. This may be wishful thinking on my part.
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Mar 17, 2012 18:37
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The Lyrans are in the best position of all the Successor States. Frederick Steiner is the most person in the entire setting. I fully expect the LCAF to be sitting on Strana Mechty within two years. Skye will fall shortly after.
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Mar 17, 2012 18:48
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Defiance Industries posted:Any discussion on ASFs inevitably becomes me yelling "EISENSTURM!!!" because there's no answer to that. Striga? I mean yeah, Jihad-era, but it's roughly comparable. About as well-armored, slightly higher payload. And like the Eisensturm (But unlike the Hydrapses) it is a sexy, sexy beast.  Look at that thing.
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Mar 17, 2012 23:58
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MJ12 posted:Striga? I mean yeah, Jihad-era, but it's roughly comparable. About as well-armored, slightly higher payload. And like the Eisensturm (But unlike the Hydrapses) it is a sexy, sexy beast. I keep expecting that thing to transform and either start spouting about how peace is the right of all sentient beings or how squishy humans are and how easy we'll be to subjugate. I will concede it is a very sexy craft, though.
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Mar 18, 2012 00:19
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Also, the Hydaspes is Clantech, and any time you have to cop out and use Clantech to beat an Eisensturm, you just proved me right.
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Mar 18, 2012 00:56
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Defiance Industries posted:Any discussion on ASFs inevitably becomes me yelling "EISENSTURM!!!" because there's no answer to that. Nope, the Shilone is the best. All it took to halt the Clan invasion was a single one of those.  
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Mar 18, 2012 02:23
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Defiance Industries posted:Also, the Hydaspes is Clantech, and any time you have to cop out and use Clantech to beat an Eisensturm, you just proved me right. I didn't see any 'IS' or 'Clan' qualifiers up there. ASF is ASF.
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Mar 18, 2012 02:25
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I'm sorry but SPAD is the best aero, light, cheap, fast, AWESOME.
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Mar 18, 2012 02:30
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AtomikKrab posted:I'm sorry but Spads are actually awesome. Solid armor for a light fighter, pulse, etc. Very solid without being an absurd gunboat like most heavy fighters.
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Mar 18, 2012 04:25
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`Mechbuster fighter. So awesome they don't let them fly in space anymore. You guys are going to love the new objectives, by the way. PoptartsNinja fucked around with this message at 04:42 on Mar 18, 2012 |
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Mar 18, 2012 04:29
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PoptartsNinja posted:`Mechbuster fighter. So awesome they don't let them fly in space anymore. Sure they do, they just call it the Lightning instead.
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Mar 18, 2012 04:36
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Factory Semi-Finals: Tactical Update 9 Combat Phase A Axman - Fires Autocannon/20 at E Centurion (3 base + 0 range + 1 movement + 2 enemy movement = 6): rolled 4, miss! - Fires Medium Laser at E Centurion (3 base + 0 range + 1 movement + 2 enemy movement = 6): rolled 7, hit Left Leg (19/24 armor remains)! - Fires Medium Laser at E Centurion (3 base + 0 range + 1 movement + 2 enemy movement = 6): rolled 4, miss! - Fires Medium Laser at E Centurion (3 base + 0 range + 1 movement + 2 enemy movement = 6): rolled 6, hit Right Leg (19/24 armor remains)! - Generates 17 heat, sinks 15! B Guillotine - Holds fire! - Generates 2 heat, sinks 22! C Thunderbolt - Holds fire! - Generates 2 heat, sinks 21! D Marauder - Holds fire! - Generates 2 heat, sinks E Centurion - Fires Large Laser at A Axman (3 base + 0 range + 2 movement + 0 enemy movement = 5): rolled 6, Left Torso (13/21 armor remains)! - Fires LRM-10 at A Axman (3 base + 0 range + 2 movement + 0 enemy movement + 0 hot loaded - 1 LK Missiles = 4): rolled 6, 6 missiles hit Right Arm (0/17 armor, 8/10 structure remains (Critical chance!)), Head (8/9 armor remains (Pilot hit!))! - Fires Medium Laser at A Axman (3 base + 0 range + 2 movement + 0 enemy movement = 5): rolled 8, hit Center Torso (23/28 armor remains)! - Fires Small Laser at A Axman (3 base + 2 range + 2 movement + 0 enemy movement = 7): rolled 11, hit Left Torso (10/21 armor remains)! - Generates 18 heat, sinks 16! F Catapult - Holds fire! - Generates 2 heat, sinks 20! End Phase A Axman - Critical Chance in Right Arm! 1 critical hit sustained! - - Hand Actuator destroyed! - Must pass a 5+ consciousness test: rolled 8, succeeds! - Must pass a piloting test (4 base + 1 massive damage = 5): rolled 5, succeeds! “Things are not looking good for Serge,” Duncan’s dulcet tones resounded. “I’ll be honest, I was a bit worried to see Antonin advanced like that, but he’s picking Serge apart. I’m not sure if it’s just the unfamiliar machine that’s throwing him, or if there’s some technical problem the bookies aren’t letting us in on, but that Axman is in trouble and Antonin knows it.” “Still, he’s got to be careful, it looks as though Colonel Alvarez and Ken Hachiman are about to swoop down to Serge’s rescue; and a between the three of them they’ve got the armor and firepower to soundly beat Ngoc and Antonin in a stand-up brawl. I’ve got to hand it to these pilots, this really is a spectacular match; it’s rare to see three competitors so evenly skilled—and I’ve just received word from the bookies, the gimmick bets are now closed! Please give a big hand to Apple Computers Interstellar for the loan of their new iBet system. Apple Computers Interstellar, where their traditional motto is: We own a planet now, beat that IBM!” Primary Objective: - Have Fun (0/6)! - - Die gloriously! Secondary Objectives: - First One to Die () - - Fighting hard is its own reward - Achievement Hunter () - - Eliminate the First One to Die - Look-Out Below () - - Step or fall on someone from a hole on a higher level - Most Hated () - - Take fire from at least three opponents on a single turn - Most Headshots (Catapult (anakha) (2)) - - Dislikes anyone else having cockpit glass - Dwarf Fortress’d () - - Lose every internal in all torso locations, suffer no damage to arm or leg internals - Sock Blocker () - - Die, leaving rough terrain in a chokepoint or ramp hex - Didn’t Walk on the Duckboards () - - Fail a 5+ piloting test or worse - Out but Still In () - - Fail a consciousness test - Legitimate Strategy () - - Shoot an unconscious target - Most Honorable () - - Don’t shoot an unconscious target - Flesh Wound () - - Eliminated via leg destruction - Cheating Legger () - - Eliminated someone via blowing off a leg - Louis XVI () - - Eliminated via headshot! - Revolutionary () - - Eliminated someone via headshot - Boom () - - Eliminated via Ammo Explosion - Fratricidal () - - Eliminated someone via Ammo Explosion - Cursed (Axman (magni)) - - Nuffle hates this player - Statuesque () - - Hold position for three or more turns in a row - Mary Sue () - - Scored the most kills - Mutually Assured Destruction ( and ) - - Two players kill (or score a kill assist on) the other, on the same turn - Best Archaeologist () - - Found the Secret Hex - Capellan Deal (someone did this but you won’t learn who until they die) - - Formed an alliance with someone on the opposing team - Most Entertained the GM () - - Did something - Last Man Standing () - - Someone survived! - Draw (0/1) - - Nobody survived! Enemy Movement Modifiers: A AXM-1X Axman “Copper” - Green Team B GLT-4L Guillotine “The Fighting 18th” - Green Team C TDR-5SS Thunderbolt “Warhawk” - Gold Team D MAD-3D Marauder “Danh Khan Huu” - Gold Team E CN9-AL Centurion “Legionnaire” - Gold Team F CPLT-K2 Catapult “Kokuryuu” - Green Team   Overlord Stables (Steiner) AXM-1X Axman “Copper” Weight: 65 tons (Heavy) HD A(S): 6/9 (3/3) LT A(S): 10/21 (15/15) LT R A(S): 6/6 CT A(S): 23/28 (21/21) CT R A(S): 6/6 RT A(S): 21/21 (15/15) RT R A(S): 6/6 LA A(S): 9/17 (10/10) RA A(S): 0/17 (10/10) LL A(S): 0/24 (6/15) RL A(S): 19/24 (15/15) Heat: 2/30 Overheat Penalty: None Heat Sinks: 15 Movement: 4/6/4 Mechwarrior: Pilot 4, Gunnery 3 Mechwarrior Name: Serge Axey Mechwarrior Player: magni Mechwarrior Status: Concussion (5+)! Armament: Hatchet – RA (Status: OK!) Medium Laser – LA (Heat: 3, Range: (L:9 M:6 S:3), Status: OK!) Medium Laser – LA (Heat: 3, Range: (L:9 M:6 S:3), Status: OK!) Medium Laser – LA (Heat: 3, Range: (L:9 M:6 S:3), Status: OK!) Small Laser – HD (Heat: 1, Range: (L:3 M:2 S:1), Status: OK!) Autocannon/20 – CT (Heat: 7, Ammo: 8, Range: (L:9 M:6 S:3), Status: OK!) Critical Damage: Right Hand destroyed! Notes: 2 hands Bromley Stables (Marik) GLT-4L Guillotine “The Fighting 18th” Weight: 70 tons (Heavy) HD A(S): 7/9 (3/3) LT A(S): 17/22 (15/15) LT R A(S): 8/8 CT A(S): 27/27 (22/22) CT R A(S): 12/12 RT A(S): 7/22 (15/15) RT R A(S): 8/8 LA A(S): 20/20 (11/11) RA A(S): 20/20 (11/11) LL A(S): 22/22 (15/15) RL A(S): 22/22 (15/15) Heat: 0/30 Overheat Penalty: Heat Sinks: 22 Movement: 4/6/4 Mechwarrior: Pilot 4, Gunnery 3 Mechwarrior Name: Colonel Isadora Alvarez Mechwarrior Player: GreyjoyBastard Mechwarrior Status: Shrapnel Wound (3+) Armament: Medium Laser – RA (Heat: 3, Range: (L:9 M:6 S:3), Status: OK!) Medium Laser – RA (Heat: 3, Range: (L:9 M:6 S:3), Status: OK!) Large Laser – LA (Heat: 8, Range: (L:15 M:10 S:5), Status: OK!) SRM-6 – CT (Heat: 4, Ammo: 11, Range: (L:9 M:6 S:3), Status: OK!) Medium Laser – RT (Heat: 3, Range: (L:9 M:6 S:3), Status: OK!) Medium Laser – LT (Heat: 3, Range: (L:9 M:6 S:3), Status: OK!) Critical Damage: None! Notes: no hands, no left arm actuator Skye Tigers Stables (Skye) TDR-5SS Thunderbolt “Warhawk” Weight: 65 tons (Heavy) HD A(S): 9/9 (3/3) LT A(S): 24/24 (15/15) LT R A(S): 6/6 CT A(S): 30/30 (21/21) CT R A(S): 11/11 RT A(S): 24/24 (15/15) RT R A(S): 6/6 LA A(S): 20/20 (10/10) RA A(S): 20/20 (10/10) LL A(S): 29/29 (15/15) RL A(S): 29/29 (15/15) Heat: 0/30 Overheat Penalty: None Heat Sinks: 21 Movement: 4/6/0 Mechwarrior: Pilot 4, Gunnery 3 Mechwarrior Name: Charles Boyington Mechwarrior Player:Longinus00 Mechwarrior Status: OK! Armament: PPC – RA (Heat: 10, Range: (L:18 M:12 S:6 Min:3), Status: OK!) Flamer – RT (Heat: 3, Range: (L:3 M:2 S:1), Status: OK!) Medium Laser – LT (Heat: 3, Range: (L:9 M:6 S:3), Status: OK!) Medium Laser – LT (Heat: 3, Range: (L:9 M:6 S:3), Status: OK!) Medium Laser – LT (Heat: 3, Range: (L:9 M:6 S:3), Status: OK!) SRM-6 – LT (Heat: 4, Ammo: 15, Range: (L:9 M:6 S:3), Status: OK!) Critical Damage: None! Notes: 2 hands Gemini Stables (Duchy of New Syrtis) MAD-3D Marauder “Danh Khan Huu” Weight: 75 tons (Heavy) HD A(S): 0/9 (2/3) LT A(S): 12/17 (14/16) LT R A(S): 0/8 CT A(S): 34/35 (23/23) CT R A(S): 5/10 RT A(S): 7/17 (16/16) RT R A(S): 8/8 LA A(S): 3/22 (12/12) RA A(S): 12/22 (12/12) LL A(S): 18/18 (16/16) RL A(S): 13/18 (16/16) Heat: 0/30 Overheat Penalty: None Heat Sinks: 17 Movement: 4/6/0 Mechwarrior: Pilot 4, Gunnery 3 Mechwarrior Name: Ngoc Binh Mechwarrior Player: Cafel Mechwarrior Status: Caught in a mist of transplex vapor (3+)! Armament: PPC – RA (Heat: 10, Range: (L:9 M:6 S:3), Status: OK!) PPC – LA (Heat: 10, Range: (L:9 M:6 S:3), Status: OK!) Medium Laser – RA (Heat: 3, Range: (L:9 M:6 S:3), Status: OK!) Medium Laser – LA (Heat: 3, Range: (L:9 M:6 S:3), Status: OK!) Large Laser – RT (Heat: 8, Range: (L:15 M:10 S:5), Status: OK!) Critical Damage: None! Notes: no hands Tandrek Stables (Liao) CN9-AL Centurion “Legionnaire” Weight: 50 tons (Medium) HD A(S): 9/9 (3/3) LT A(S): 0/17 (11/12) LT R A(S): 7/7 CT A(S): 0/23 (16/16) CT R A(S): 9/9 RT A(S): 17/17 (12/12) RT R A(S): 7/7 LA A(S): 11/16 (8/8) RA A(S): 16/16 (8/8) LL A(S): 19/24 (12/12) RL A(S): 19/24 (12/12) Heat: 2/30 Overheat Penalty: None Heat Sinks: 16 Movement: 4/6/0 Mechwarrior: Pilot 4, Gunnery 3 Mechwarrior Name: Antonin Césaire Mechwarrior Player: Felime Mechwarrior Status: OK! Armament: Large Laser – RA (Heat: 8, Range: (L:15 M:10 S:5), Status: OK!) Small Laser – RA (Heat: 1, Range: (L:3 M:2 S:1), Status: OK!) Medium Laser – CT (Heat: 3, Range: (L:9 M:6 S:3), Status: OK!) Medium Laser – CT(REAR) (Heat: 3, Range: (L:9 M:6 S:3), Status: OK!) LRM-10 – LT (Heat: 4, Ammo: 12, Range: (L:21 M:14 S:7 Min:6), Status: OK!) Critical Damage: None! Notes: 1 hand Silver Dragon Stables (Kurita) CPLT-K2 Catapult “Kokuryuu” Weight: 65 tons (Heavy) HD A(S): 9/9 (3/3) LT A(S): 0/20 (12/15) LT R A(S): 8/8 CT A(S): 14/24 (21/21) CT R A(S): 11/11 RT A(S): 15/20 (15/15) RT R A(S): 8/8 LA A(S): 0/18 (7/10) RA A(S): 0/18 (7/10) LL A(S): 15/20 (15/15) RL A(S): 15/20 (15/15) Heat: 0/30 Overheat Penalty: Heat Sinks: 20 Movement: 4/6/0 Mechwarrior: Pilot 4, Gunnery 3 Mechwarrior Name: Ken Hachiman Mechwarrior Player: anakha Mechwarrior Status: OK! Armament: PPC – RA (Heat: 10, Range: (L:18 M:12 S:6 Min:3), Status: OK!) PPC – LA (Heat: 10, Range: (L:18 M:12 S:6 Min:3), Status: DESTROYED!) Medium Laser – RT (Heat: 3, Range: (L:9 M:6 S:3), Status: OK!) Medium Laser – LT (Heat: 3, Range: (L:9 M:6 S:3), Status: OK!) Machine Gun – RT (Heat: 0, Ammo: 6, Range: (L:3 M:2 S:1), Status: OK!) Machine Gun – RT (Heat: 0, Ammo: -, Range: (L:3 M:2 S:1), Status: OK!) Critical Damage: None! Notes: no hands or arm actuators PoptartsNinja fucked around with this message at 16:43 on Mar 18, 2012 |
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Mar 18, 2012 05:52
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PoptartsNinja posted:Primary Objective: I look forward to seeing players attempting to complete some of these. 
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Mar 18, 2012 06:16
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YES! Cheevos!
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Mar 18, 2012 06:19
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