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Readingaccount
Jan 6, 2013

Law of the jungle
So, any of our brave pilots hoping to add a bit of Steiner dueling to the script?
If ya feel it takes too long I suppose you could always fire at a secondary (actually primary) target while using physicals on your mark. :D

Readingaccount fucked around with this message at 17:03 on May 3, 2013

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Holybat
Dec 22, 2006

I made this while you were asleep.

Readingaccount posted:

So, any of our brave pilots hoping to add a bit of Steiner dueling to the script?
If ya feel it takes too long I suppose you could always fire at a secondary (actually primary) target while using physicals on your mark. :D

That's what I'm going for.

Edit: I guess if a kick in a Zeus to somebody's face counts as steiner dueling.

Holybat fucked around with this message at 17:07 on May 3, 2013

Malachite_Dragon
Mar 31, 2010

Weaving Merry Christmas magic
Orders are in, sorry for the delay. I know I said I'd get them in yesterday but I got sucked into a conversation with :siren: a girl :siren: and completely lost track of time. Now is time for :black101:!

Artificer
Apr 8, 2010

You're going to try ponies and you're. Going. To. LOVE. ME!!

Malachite_Dragon posted:

Orders are in, sorry for the delay. I know I said I'd get them in yesterday but I got sucked into a conversation with :siren: a girl :siren: and completely lost track of time. Now is time for :black101:!

:frogout: social life haver.

:v:

That Italian Guy
Jul 25, 2012

We need the equivalent of the shrimp = small pastry avatar, but for ambulances and their mysteries now.

Malachite_Dragon posted:

Orders are in, sorry for the delay. I know I said I'd get them in yesterday but I got sucked into a conversation with :siren: a girl :siren: and completely lost track of time. Now is time for :black101:!

This time you have no excuse. We demand:
A) A catchphrase
B) Full Auto

:colbert:

PoptartsNinja
May 9, 2008

He is still almost definitely not a spy


Soiled Meat
I think this may be the first turn the Punch Hit table has ever been used for an actual punch.

SIGSEGV
Nov 4, 2010


PoptartsNinja posted:

I think this may be the first turn the Punch Hit table has ever been used for an actual punch.

So someone is punching legs aren't they?

PoptartsNinja
May 9, 2008

He is still almost definitely not a spy


Soiled Meat

SIGSEGV posted:

So someone is punching legs aren't they?

You don't roll punch-hit for the legs, you roll punches on the kick table.

SIGSEGV
Nov 4, 2010


Given goons, those piloting scores and Hogarth's Hollywood, those pilots might just miss that hard.

Has anyone tried using jumpjets to dragon punch anyone else yet?

Malachite_Dragon
Mar 31, 2010

Weaving Merry Christmas magic
Quickedit: Nevermind, Shoryuken and dragon punch are the same thing :downs: I should actually play Street Fighter, huh?

ActionZero
Jan 22, 2011

I act once more in
imitation of light

PoptartsNinja posted:

I think this may be the first turn the Punch Hit table has ever been used for an actual punch.

S Ostroc
- Punches 2 Raven (3 base + 1 movement + 2 enemy movement + 1 MoF = 7): rolled 11, hit Center Torso (1/8 armor remains)!

:colbert:

edit: VVV I had literally no idea what I was doing.

ActionZero fucked around with this message at 03:19 on May 5, 2013

Synthbuttrange
May 6, 2007

Who punches with an Ostroc? You'll get the weapon barrels all bent!

Runa
Feb 13, 2011

Ostrocs have hands! I should know, I double-checked to see if the original sarna pic reference was wrong. (It was.)

PoptartsNinja
May 9, 2008

He is still almost definitely not a spy


Soiled Meat
Hogarth’s Heroes: Tactical Update 5

Movement Phase
Blue 4) Schultz’s Zeus
- Turns to face hex 1521, but does not have enough MP!



Combat Phase
Blue 1) Hogarth’s Atlas II
- Fires Ghost Hunter PPC at Battlemaster Red 1 (4 base + 0 range + 2 movement + 1 enemy movement + 2 minimum range = 9): rolled 9, hit Left Arm (but the target is not a ghost)!
- Fires Rotary Autocannon/5 (Quint) at Battlemaster Red 1 (4 base + 0 range + 2 movement + 1 enemy movement = 7): rolled 7, 2 shells hit Left Leg (21/26 armor remains), Right Leg (21/26 armor remains)!
- Fires Rotary Autocannon/5 (Quint) at Battlemaster Red 1 (4 base + 0 range + 2 movement + 1 enemy movement = 7): rolled 4, miss!
- Fires Medium Pulse Laser at Battlemaster Red 1 (4 base + 0 range + 2 movement + 1 enemy movement - 2 medium pulse laser = 5): rolled 9, hit Left Arm (5/24 armor remains)!
- Fires Medium Pulse Laser at Battlemaster Red 1 (4 base + 0 range + 2 movement + 1 enemy movement - 2 medium pulse laser = 5): rolled 6, hit Left Torso (22/28 armor remains)!
- Fires Medium Pulse Laser at Battlemaster Red 1 (4 base + 0 range + 2 movement + 1 enemy movement - 2 medium pulse laser = 5): rolled 8, hit Right Arm (8/24 armor remains)!
- Fires Medium Pulse Laser at Battlemaster Red 1 (4 base + 0 range + 2 movement + 1 enemy movement - 2 medium pulse laser = 5): rolled 6, hit Left Torso (16/28 armor remains)!
- Fires Medium Pulse Laser at Battlemaster Red 1 (4 base + 0 range + 2 movement + 1 enemy movement - 2 medium pulse laser = 5): rolled 6, hit Right Arm (2/24 armor remains)!

Blue 2) Steiner’s Awesome
- Fires PPC at Panther Ghost Red 5 (4 base + 0 range + 2 movement + 0 enemy movement + 3 minimum range = 9): rolled 5, miss!
- Fires PPC at Panther Ghost Red 5 (4 base + 0 range + 2 movement + 0 enemy movement + 3 minimum range = 9): rolled 9, hit Right Leg (2/12 armor remains)!
- Fires Small Laser at Panther Ghost Red 5 (4 base + 0 range + 2 movement + 0 enemy movement = 6): rolled 7, hit Left Torso (7/10 armor remains)!
- Fires PPC at Panther Red 8 (4 base + 0 range + 2 movement + 1 enemy movement + 2 minimum range + 1 secondary target = 10): rolled 7, miss!
- Fires PPC at Javelin Red 6 (4 base + 0 range + 2 movement + 2 enemy movement + 2 minimum range + 2 secondary target = 12): rolled 3, miss!

Blue 3) Vasquez’s Banshee
- Fires PPC at Kintaro Red 3 (4 base + 0 range + 2 movement + 2 enemy movement + 1 minimum range = 9): rolled 7, miss!
- Fires PPC at Kintaro Red 3 (4 base + 0 range + 2 movement + 2 enemy movement + 1 minimum range = 9): rolled 7, miss!
- Fires Autocannon/10 at Kintaro Red 3 (4 base + 0 range + 2 movement + 2 enemy movement = 8): rolled 8, hit Center Torso (16/26 armor remains)!
- Fires Medium Laser at Kintaro Red 3 (4 base + 0 range + 2 movement + 2 enemy movement = 8): rolled 7, miss!
- Fires Medium Laser at Kintaro Red 3 (4 base + 0 range + 2 movement + 2 enemy movement = 8): rolled 6, miss!
- Fires Medium Laser at Kintaro Red 3 (4 base + 0 range + 2 movement + 2 enemy movement = 8): rolled 4, miss!
- Fires Medium Laser at Kintaro Red 3 (4 base + 0 range + 2 movement + 2 enemy movement = 8): rolled 7, miss!
- Fires SRM-6 at Kintaro Red 3 (4 base + 0 range + 2 movement + 2 enemy movement = 8): rolled 6, miss!
- Fires Small Laser at Kintaro Red 3 (4 base + 0 range + 2 movement + 2 enemy movement = 8): rolled 7, miss!

Blue 4) Schultz’s Zeus
- Fires Large Laser at Panther Red 8 (4 base + 0 range + 2 movement + 1 enemy movement = 7): rolled 5, miss!
- Fires Large Laser at Panther Red 8 (4 base + 0 range + 2 movement + 1 enemy movement = 7): rolled 7, hit Right Torso (2/10 armor remains)!
- Fires Medium Laser at Panther Red 8 (4 base + 0 range + 2 movement + 1 enemy movement = 7): rolled 9, hit Center Torso (9/14 armor remains)!
- Fires Medium Laser at Panther Red 8 (4 base + 0 range + 2 movement + 1 enemy movement = 7): rolled 6, miss!
- Fires PPC at Panther Red 5 (4 base + 0 range + 2 movement + 0 enemy movement + 1 secondary target + 1 minimum range = 8): rolled 7, miss!
- Fires LRM-15 at Javelin Red 6 (4 base + 0 range + 2 movement + 2 enemy movement + 1 light woods + 2 minimum range + 2 secondary target = 13): automatic miss!

Red 1) Battlemaster
- Fires PPC at Atlas II Blue 1 (4 base + 0 range + 2 movement + 1 enemy movement + 1 light woods + 1 minimum range = 9): rolled 9, hit Head (0/9 armor, 2/3 structure remains)! Cine-Crit!
- Fires Medium Laser at Atlas II Blue 1 (4 base + 0 range + 2 movement + 1 enemy movement + 1 light woods = 8): rolled 4, miss!
- Fires Medium Laser at Atlas II Blue 1 (4 base + 0 range + 2 movement + 1 enemy movement + 1 light woods = 8): rolled 6, miss!
- Fires Medium Laser at Atlas II Blue 1 (4 base + 0 range + 2 movement + 1 enemy movement + 1 light woods = 8): rolled 6, miss!
- Fires Medium Laser at Atlas II Blue 1 (4 base + 0 range + 2 movement + 1 enemy movement + 1 light woods = 8): rolled 11, hit Right Arm (29/34 armor remains)!
- Fires SRM-6 at Atlas II Blue 1 (4 base + 0 range + 2 movement + 1 enemy movement + 1 light woods = 8): rolled 8, 5 missiles hit Left Leg (39/41 armor remains), Left Arm (32/34 armor remains), Center Torso (35/47 armor remains), Right Torso (30/32 armor remains), Right Arm (27/34 armor remains)!

Red 2) Grand Dragon
- The Inherent Moral Superiority of the Lyran Spirit prevents Red 2 from taking a rear-arc shot!
- Torso Twists to threaten hex 1218!
- Fires PPC at Awesome Blue 2 (4 base + 2 range + 2 movement + 1 enemy movement = 9): rolled 5, miss!
- Fires LRM-10 at Awesome Blue 2 (4 base + 0 range + 2 movement + 1 enemy movement = 7): rolled 9, 6 missiles hit Left Torso (19/24 armor remains), Right Arm (23/24 armor remains)!

Red 3) Kintaro
- Fires Medium Laser at Banshee Blue 3 (3 base + 0 range + 2 movement + 0 enemy movement + 1 light woods = 6): rolled 5, miss!
- Fires Medium Laser at Banshee Blue 3 (3 base + 0 range + 2 movement + 0 enemy movement + 1 light woods = 6): rolled 4, miss!
- Fires SRM-6 at Banshee Blue 3 (3 base + 0 range + 2 movement + 0 enemy movement + 1 light woods = 6): rolled 7, 5 missiles hit Center Torso (33/40 armor remains), Right Arm (19/21 armor remains), Center Torso (31/40 armor remains), Right Leg (24/26 armor remains), Left Arm (19/21 armor remains)!
- Fires SRM-6 at Banshee Blue 3 (3 base + 0 range + 2 movement + 0 enemy movement + 1 light woods = 6): rolled 7, 4 missiles hit Right Torso (23/30 armor remains), Left Arm (17/21 armor remains), Center Torso (29/40 armor remains), Left Leg (24/26 armor remains)!
- Fires SRM-6 at Banshee Blue 3 (3 base + 0 range + 2 movement + 0 enemy movement + 1 light woods = 6): rolled 8, 4 missiles hit Center Torso (27/40 armor remains), Right Torso (21/30 armor remains), Right Arm (17/21 armor remains), Right Torso (19/30 armor remains)!

Red 4) Black Knight
- Holds fire!

Red 5) Panther 1
- Ghosts are Immoral
- Fires PPC at Atlas II Red 1 (4 base + 0 range + 1 movement + 1 enemy movement = 6): rolled 11, hit Left Arm (22/34 armor remains)!
- Fires SRM-4 at Atlas II Red 1 (4 base + 0 range + 1 movement + 1 enemy movement = 6): rolled 6, 4 missiles hit Rear Right Torso (8/10 armor remains), Rear Left Torso (8/10 armor remains), Rear Right Torso (6/10 armor remains), Left Leg (37/41 armor remains)!

Red 6) Javelin
- Fires SRM-6 at Awesome Red 2 (4 base + 0 range + 3 movement + 1 enemy movement = 8): rolled 10, 6 missiles hit Head (7/9 armor remains), Left Torso (17/24 armor remains), Right Torso (20/24 armor remains), Center Torso (28/30 armor remains), Right Leg (31/33 armor remains (TAC!), Center Torso (26/30 armor remains)!
- Fires SRM-6 at Awesome Red 2 (4 base + 0 range + 3 movement + 1 enemy movement = 8): rolled 3, miss!

Red 7) Wolf Trap
- Fires Medium Laser at Banshee Blue 3 (4 base + 2 range + 2 movement + 0 enemy movement + 1 light woods = 9): rolled 5, miss!
- Fires Medium Laser at Banshee Blue 3 (4 base + 2 range + 2 movement + 0 enemy movement + 1 light woods = 9): rolled 9, hit Right Torso (14/30 armor remains)!
- Fires LB-10X AC (Cluster) at Banshee Blue 3 (4 base + 0 range + 2 movement + 0 enemy movement + 1 light woods - 1 cluster rounds = 6): rolled 5, miss!

Red 8) Panther 2
- Torso Twists to threaten hex 1420!
- Fires PPC at Zeus Blue 4 (4 base + 0 range + 2 movement + 1 enemy movement + 3 minimum range = 10): rolled 6, miss!
- Fires SRM-4 at Zeus Blue 4 (4 base + 0 range + 2 movement + 1 enemy movement = 7): rolled 4, miss!



End Phase:
Battlemaster Red 1
- Must pass a piloting test or fall (5 base + 1 massive damage = 6): rolled 7, succeeds!

Atlas II Blue 1
- Must pass a piloting test or fall (5 base + 1 massive damage - 1 HOGARTH!!! = 5): rolled 11, succeeds!
- Critical Chance in Head! 1 Cinematic Critical Hit sustained!
- - Flubbed Line!

Awesome Blue 2
- Must pass a piloting test or fall (5 base + 1 massive damage = 6): rolled 8, succeeds!
- Through-Armor Critical in Right Leg! No critical hits sustained!

Banshee Blue 3
- Must pass a piloting test or fall (5 base + 1 massive damage = 6): rolled 12, succeeds!



Physical Combat Phase:
Awesome Blue 2
- Kicks Panther Ghost Red 5 (5 base + 2 movement + 1 enemy movement - 2 kick = 6): rolled 7, hit Left Leg (0/12 armor, 0/8 structure remains)! Pilot Ejects!
- - Damage transfers to Left Torso (1/10 armor remains)!

Panther Ghost Red 5
- Punches Awesome Blue 2 with Left Arm (5 base + 2 movement + 1 enemy movement = 8): rolled 8, hit Center Torso (23/30 armor remains)!



“Look out, General!” Andrew exclaimed as he broke his Awesome into a dead sprint. His PPCs discharged wildly as his sudden burst of speed threw his carefully-aimed shots off target as he charged towards the newly re-risen Panther. Its body moving in unnatural jerks, the little ghost-possessed `Mech barely had to move to draw a bead on the General’s vulnerable rear armor. Its right-arm PPC rose in an instant, filling the air with charged particles before Andrew could close the gap. The manmade lightning scoured armor from the Atlas’s arm. Missiles roared from the quad-rack on the little Panther’s chest, and the wildly corkscrewing warheads detonating with a flash of pyrotechnic smoke and sparks as they struck the Atlas’s thin rear armor.

Andrew struck with the force of a battering ram—at least he would have, had the fight been real. Instead, the young `Mechwarrior brought his Awesome to an abrupt halt and let fly with his chest-mounted PPCs. At such close range, and fired against such a small target, only one beam hit successfully, blasting armor from the Panther’s vulnerable legs. The Panther’s metal fist glanced from the Awesome’s heavily-armored chest, and Andrew lashed out in an instant splintering the little `Mech’s leg with a reflexive, full-power kick.

“gently caress me, whoops! Sorry!” he called out apologetically even as the Panther’s pilot ejected to avoid taking a nasty tumble. It was probably for the best as the little `Mech’s head rebounded from the hard ice a moment later. The enemy `Mechwarrior’s suicidally-crimson ‘chute opened a moment later, its surface adorned with the fleurs-de-lis of Skye. For a few moments Andrew’s Awesome mirrored his sheepish uncertainty, its left arm rose to mimic scratching the back of the metal man’s head. “Sorry about that, whoever you are! I, uh--I had to stop the ghost!”



Primary Objectives
Rescue Melissa Steiner and Clovis Holstein (0/2)
Defeat Richard Cameron (0/1)

Secondary Objectives
Thomas Hogarth duels the Red Corsair (0/1)
One of Hogarth’s Heroes“dies” dramatically, but no more than one (0/1)
Hogarth kills the ghost with his Ghost-Killer PPC (0/1)
Cross the Streams (0/4) (everyone has to hit with a PPC for it to count)

Hidden Objectives
Piles of Cardboard Boxes Destroyed: 1
Fruit Carts Destroyed: 1
Wilhelm Screams: 1
Flubbed Lines: 1
[Unknown]





Key:
Blue1) Atlas II
Blue2) Awesome
Blue3) Banshee
Blue4) Zeus

Enemy `Mech Key
Red1) Battlemaster – Ran, 1
Red2) Dragon – Ran, 2
Red3) Kintaro – Ran, 2
Red4) Black Knight – Stationary, 0
Red6) Javelin – Ran, 1
Red7) Wolf Trap – Ran, 2
Red8) Panther 2 – Ran, 1

Player `Mech Status


Enemy `Mech Status

PoptartsNinja fucked around with this message at 04:28 on May 7, 2013

Artificer
Apr 8, 2010

You're going to try ponies and you're. Going. To. LOVE. ME!!
I love this mission so much.

Malachite_Dragon
Mar 31, 2010

Weaving Merry Christmas magic
I can sum up my reaction to that duel in one single emote: :cripes:

GenericServices
Apr 28, 2010

PoptartsNinja posted:

Red 2) Grand Dragon
- The Inherent Moral Superiority of the Lyran Spirit prevents Red 2 from taking a rear-arc shot!

Red 5) Panther 1
- Ghosts are Immoral

No wonder those sneaky Dracs and their Ghost Regiments are always winning! Takin' advantage of fine young Lyrans!

Malachite_Dragon
Mar 31, 2010

Weaving Merry Christmas magic

PoptartsNinja posted:

- Fires Rotary Autocannon/5 (Quint) at Battlemaster Red 1 (4 base + 0 range + 2 movement + 1 enemy movement = 7): rolled 7, miss!

Someone in IRC pointed this out, shouldn't this be a hit, PTN? (not that it's gonna do me much good because :supaburn: my HD armor!)

Endomorphic
Jul 25, 2010
Does Hogarth hitting a non-Ghost target with his Ghost hunter PPC count for Cross The Streams?

Olothreutes
Mar 31, 2007

It seems like they all have to hit the same target in the same round. Or at least all have to hit a target in the same round, preferably targets that involve shooting across lines of fire.

Keru
Aug 2, 2004

'n suddenly there was a terrible roar all around us 'n the sky was full of what looked like 'uge bats, all swooping 'n screeching 'n divin' around the ute.

PoptartsNinja posted:

Physical Combat Phase:
Awesome Blue 2
- Kicks Panther Ghost Red 5 (5 base + 2 movement + 1 enemy movement - 2 kick = 6): rolled 7, hit Left Leg (0/12 armor, 0/8 structure remains)!

Get him a bodybag, yeaaaaah!

Calax
Oct 5, 2011

SWEEP THE LEG JOHNNY!

enigma74
Aug 5, 2005
a lean lobster who probably doesn't even taste good.
"The Inherent Moral Superiority of the Lyran Spirit prevents Red 2 from taking a rear-arc shot!"

The best part up the update, right there.


Wait, I just noticed an error. Shouldn't the banshee and awesome be classified as "light" on the player mech sheets? I'm not satisfied with this!

enigma74 fucked around with this message at 01:13 on May 6, 2013

PoptartsNinja
May 9, 2008

He is still almost definitely not a spy


Soiled Meat

Malachite_Dragon posted:

Someone in IRC pointed this out, shouldn't this be a hit, PTN? (not that it's gonna do me much good because :supaburn: my HD armor!)

That's what I get for updating when I'm exhausted. I'll fix it soon.

the JJ
Mar 31, 2011
I think there is also a through that should be a threw.

Runa
Feb 13, 2011

I think you'll find at 95 tons the Banshee, it is a Medium. :smuggo:

Also, hah, the other actors aren't allowed to take backshots unless they're "ghosts." Interesting! Not that you should let this tidbit prevent you guys from ghosting as many of them as possible, anyway. Yeowza on the Atlas headshot though, did Hogarth try to mack on the Corsair pilot's mother offstage or something?

Arquinsiel
Jun 1, 2006

"There is no such thing as society. There are individual men and women, and there are families. And no government can do anything except through people, and people must look to themselves first."

God Bless Margaret Thatcher
God Bless England
RIP My Iron Lady
It's the mech equivalent of the cut Rocky always gets above the eye: it shows that there's real danger and that the fight needs to end fast.

GhostStalker
Mar 26, 2010

Guys, find a woman who looks at you the way GhostStalker looks at every bald, obese, single 58 year old accountant from Tulsa who managed to win $4,000 by not wagering on a Final Jeopardy triple stumper.

Welp, that turn could have gone a lot better... FIRING EVERYTHING at the Kintaro didn't work out that well there, even with really decent to-hit numbers. Still, that mech has helpfully exposed his back to me, which I think I should take advantage of. Sure, it might look somewhat cowardly for a hero in a movie to take a back shot, but hey, you take the opportunities you're given... Hopefully, FIRING EVERYTHING at the Kintaro this turn will work out better than it did this turn...

Holybat
Dec 22, 2006

I made this while you were asleep.
Hey a quick question PTN, I had a physical attack declared against Panther Red 8 in my orders, was there a reason it wasn't in there? I thought if it was in the front arc I could make a kick attack against it.

That Italian Guy
Jul 25, 2012

We need the equivalent of the shrimp = small pastry avatar, but for ambulances and their mysteries now.

Arquinsiel posted:

It's the mech equivalent of the cut Rocky always gets above the eye: it shows that there's real danger and that the fight needs to end fast.

Yeah, it's all for dramatic purposes..."ANY HIT NOW CAN END HOGARTH'S LIFE!..we'll be back after a brief intermission. Don't forget to support the Commonwealth! Buy Lyran Popcorns! Now in Assault Size."

apostateCourier
Oct 9, 2012


That Italian Guy posted:

Yeah, it's all for dramatic purposes..."ANY HIT NOW CAN END HOGARTH'S LIFE!..we'll be back after a brief intermission. Don't forget to support the Commonwealth! Buy Lyran Popcorns! Now in Assault Size."

I now choose to believe that this is the sizing convention for all fast food establishments in the Inner Sphere.

Lateinshowing
Oct 10, 2012
Fun Shoe
What about in the future? Super-Heavy popcorn?

But will it be effective, or a flub like the real-life BattleMechs?




Edit: Oh god what have I done?
vvvvvvvvvv

Lateinshowing fucked around with this message at 18:03 on May 6, 2013

apostateCourier
Oct 9, 2012


Lateinshowing posted:

What about in the future? Super-Heavy popcorn?

But will it be effective, or a flub like the real-life BattleMechs?

"What do you MEAN a Super-Heavy soft drink won't fit in a cup holder?"

TildeATH
Oct 21, 2010

by Lowtax
TRO:3155 Super-Heavy Me

bunnyofdoom
Mar 29, 2008

Jaxxon: Still not the stupidest thing from the expanded universe.



Yes, I'll get the assualt sized double cheese burger, a super-heavy fries and scout coke.

That Italian Guy
Jul 25, 2012

We need the equivalent of the shrimp = small pastry avatar, but for ambulances and their mysteries now.

bunnyofdoom posted:

Yes, I'll get the assualt sized double cheese burger, a super-heavy fries and scout coke.

Would you like to upgrade your coke to Assault as well, sir? There's a promotion for a Free Rasahalgue Repubcake with the Assault menu.

bunnyofdoom
Mar 29, 2008

Jaxxon: Still not the stupidest thing from the expanded universe.



That Italian Guy posted:

Would you like to upgrade your coke to Assault as well, sir? There's a promotion for a Free Rasahalgue Repubcake with the Assault menu.

Nah, I'm on a diet.

Narsham
Jun 5, 2008

bunnyofdoom posted:

Yes, I'll get the assualt sized double cheese burger, a super-heavy fries and scout coke.

Clan cheeseburgers are much bigger, but you have to eat them hot off the grill as they cool off very quickly.

(Sorry, somebody had to.)

TildeATH
Oct 21, 2010

by Lowtax

Narsham posted:

Clan cheeseburgers are much bigger, but you have to eat them hot off the grill as they cool off very quickly.

(Sorry, somebody had to.)

Clan jokes are twice as funny and half as difficult and come with free protection to your reputation if the joke bombs.

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JT Jag
Aug 30, 2009

#1 Jaguars Sunk Cost Fallacy-Haver

TildeATH posted:

Clan jokes are twice as funny and half as difficult and come with free protection to your reputation if the joke bombs.
clan jokes twice something half something else blah blah blah we just did this ten pages ago derail headcapped before it started.

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