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Servicio en Espanol posted:You know who else was a no-name kid from some backwater?
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May 13, 2013 03:21
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Arquinsiel posted:To be fair, he had the same name as the immaculately conceived jedi prodigy who turned evil and singlehandedly destroyed a system that had existed for about 30k years. Steiner is a famous name too! This is too perfect to be a coincidence, so I start believing in Andrew Steiner's destiny.
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May 13, 2013 11:24
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Readingaccount posted:I disbelieve in Andrew Steiner. I'll roll you a d20 in a moment, but is it ok if I disbelieve in Andrew Steiner as well?
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May 13, 2013 14:23
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I have gotten no orders from anyone. This concerns me.
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May 13, 2013 19:00
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That is because I do NOT believe in Steiner. Any Steiner. Ever. But also this Steiner.
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May 13, 2013 19:18
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God damnit players we demand more orders for our entertainment! Who cares if they're bad orders, this is very far from the super serious make or break of the last campaign! (I also believe in Andrew Steiner, in the best 80s-90s action movie style of believing.)
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May 13, 2013 19:32
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PoptartsNinja posted:I have gotten no orders from anyone. This concerns me. The GoogleDoc is in a bit of a state of  / / at the moment, I'll have my orders in tonight at least.
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May 13, 2013 20:03
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Back in the day we didn't have googledocs. We just had giant steel balls  .
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May 13, 2013 20:05
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Just think of how disappointed your mothers would be if you didn't get your orders in because of stupid poo poo like holidays
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May 13, 2013 20:13
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KnoxZone posted:Back in the day we didn't have googledocs. We just had giant steel balls And easily detached arms, as I recall.
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May 13, 2013 20:17
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Oh come on, gents! Be cool, be brave, and don't be afraid to just go balls deep. Red Corsair dropped her guns, put up her dukes, and challenged Hogarth to fisticuffs. What is the correct response to this situation?
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May 13, 2013 20:18
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T.G. Xarbala posted:Oh come on, gents! Be cool, be brave, and don't be afraid to just go balls deep. Same response as when it comes crashing down and it hurts inside. Hogarth's gotta be a man; it don't help to hide. They hurt Hogarth's friends, so as a result, they have hurt his pride. Time to take a stand, you can't let it slide. Hogarth is a Lyran citizen. He fights for the rights of every man. He is a Lyran citizen. Fight for what's right, FIGHT FOR YOUR LIFE.
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May 13, 2013 20:30
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T.G. Xarbala posted:Oh come on, gents! Be cool, be brave, and don't be afraid to just go balls deep. Crossing the streams!
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May 13, 2013 20:44
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Listen to this. Then kill your enemies. Several times over, if necessary. Those are the only strategic considerations you need, people!
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May 13, 2013 20:47
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Orders in. One of these days, I may actually hit a secondary target!
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May 13, 2013 21:08
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Orders are in. Time for a brawl. 
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May 13, 2013 21:13
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T.G. Xarbala posted:Oh come on, gents! Be cool, be brave, and don't be afraid to just go balls deep. Everyone focus fire the 'mechs that didn't just voluntarily disarm themselves, then focus fire the 'mechs that did after the bigger threats are gone? Or since we are supposed to be the honourable good guys, I suppose Hogarth could take the Corsair up on that challenge and get soundly beaten right up until everyone thinks he's lost.
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May 13, 2013 22:54
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Sorry everybody I lost track of time this weekend, had some family visiting. I'll have my orders in tonight.
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May 13, 2013 23:29
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When in doubt, remember my old strategy from way back when.bunnyofdoom posted:Thank you everyone for your tactical advice. I have decided to do the most Cabellero thing. I'm taking all the advice, printing each one off ona sheet of paper, and taping it to my wall. Then I shall drink enough tequila to make me in a happy place, bust out my nerf vulcan, and shoot at the wall. Whichever piece of advice has the msot dart impacts will be the one I choose.
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May 14, 2013 02:37
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Didn't have internet again this weekend, so I didn't have a chance to send in any orders. Working on them right now. Maybe I'll actually hit something this turn!
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May 14, 2013 03:14
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GhostStalker posted:Didn't have internet again this weekend, so I didn't have a chance to send in any orders. Working on them right now. Maybe I'll actually hit something this turn! You got stuck with the fast-movers on your side of the map, they're the most a challenging targets on the map so far
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May 14, 2013 04:11
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Got my orders in, let's heat 'em up 
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May 14, 2013 04:51
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PoptartsNinja posted:You got stuck with the fast-movers on your side of the map, they're the most a challenging targets on the map so far The ghost is going to be a target all its own once it runs out of 'mechs to hijack. Calling it now.
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May 14, 2013 05:01
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If Hogarth gets punched in the head he gets squashed unless cinematics come to the rescue.
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May 14, 2013 10:27
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Readingaccount posted:If Hogarth gets punched in the head he gets squashed unless cinematics come to the rescue. ...Physical combat strikes me as the one thing hardest to fake in a mech-film. What if they slip and accidentally kill Hogarth for real? Maybe it'll help the film in the box office once the rumor gets out.
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May 14, 2013 13:19
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I believe Andrew Steiner will die
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May 14, 2013 13:29
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Dolash posted:...Physical combat strikes me as the one thing hardest to fake in a mech-film. What if they slip and accidentally kill Hogarth for real? Obviously all the mechs are wearing
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May 14, 2013 15:07
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Perestroika posted:Obviously all the mechs are wearing 
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May 14, 2013 15:25
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Readingaccount posted:If Hogarth gets punched in the head he gets squashed unless cinematics come to the rescue. How hard does the Battlemaster punch? The head damage he's taken so far is cinematic; he'd still be 'out', but he might not be dead. My opinion on 'stage' boxing matches in assault mechs with mediocre pilots still stands, though. This will be hilarious. Oh, and I believe Andrew Steiner will fail.
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May 14, 2013 17:49
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Dolash posted:...Physical combat strikes me as the one thing hardest to fake in a mech-film. What if they slip and accidentally kill Hogarth for real? Killing Hogarth for real is a hidden optional objective, since he his a harbringer of disaster for the Lyrans and they would be better off for his death.
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May 14, 2013 18:17
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fool_of_sound posted:Killing Hogarth for real is a hidden optional objective, since he his a harbringer of disaster for the Lyrans and they would be better off for his death. I dunnow, things usually seem to work out when he's around. I think of him like that one Klingon crew thought of Worf's kid: he takes all the bad luck for himself and so there's none left for anyone else.
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May 14, 2013 18:25
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Voyager I posted:How hard does the Battlemaster punch? The head damage he's taken so far is cinematic; he'd still be 'out', but he might not be dead. Mechs do 1 point of damage for every 10 tons of weight, so the Battlemaster will do 8 per punch.
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May 15, 2013 01:56
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On the discussion of melee damage, if an Atlas kick connects, does the target have to make a piloting check to stay standing for both getting kicked and taking 20 damage?
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May 15, 2013 02:47
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apostateCourier posted:On the discussion of melee damage, if an Atlas kick connects, does the target have to make a piloting check to stay standing for both getting kicked and taking 20 damage? Yes.
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May 15, 2013 03:01
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Zeroisanumber posted:Mechs do 1 point of damage for every 10 tons of weight, so the Battlemaster will do 8 per punch. 9 damage, actually, as it's 1 point of damage for every 10 tons (or fraction of), and the Battlemaster is 85 tons.
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May 15, 2013 07:36
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Waiting on a quick order clarification.
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May 16, 2013 00:36
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Sorry, it was me, clarification is in. Would've been in earlier but, uh, I have a rather severe phobia of tornadoes and guess what Texas is making up for not doing earlier  I hate the warm months in this state. Malachite_Dragon fucked around with this message at 03:25 on May 16, 2013 |
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May 16, 2013 03:21
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Malachite_Dragon posted:Sorry, it was me, clarification is in. Would've been in earlier but, uh, I have a rather severe phobia of tornadoes and guess what Texas is making up for not doing earlier It's my own fault for not pinging you earlier. I just didn't have a chance to open up the map and check movement before now. Edit: I keep getting called in to work on my days off, too, which isn't helping things. PoptartsNinja fucked around with this message at 18:15 on May 16, 2013 |
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May 16, 2013 03:35
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Double-posting to offer a sincere apology. I got called in to work unexpectedly again tonight. I just got home, but I may not be able to finish the update before I go to bed (I have to work at 5:00AM tomorrow morning). If I can't finish it tonight, it WILL be finished tomorrow.
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May 17, 2013 03:40
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Hogarth’s Heroes: Tactical Update 7 Movement Phase Blue 2) Steiner’s Awesome - Stands carefully! Combat Phase Blue 1) Hogarth’s Atlas II - Fires Medium Pulse Laser at Battlemaster Red 1 (4 base + 0 range + 2 movement + 0 enemy movement - 2 medium pulse laser = 4): rolled 8, hit Center Torso (28/40 armor remains)! - Fires Medium Pulse Laser at Battlemaster Red 1 (4 base + 0 range + 2 movement + 0 enemy movement - 2 medium pulse laser = 4): rolled 10, hit Right Torso (12/28 armor remains)! - Fires Medium Pulse Laser at Battlemaster Red 1 (4 base + 0 range + 2 movement + 0 enemy movement - 2 medium pulse laser = 4): rolled 9, hit Left Torso (10/16 armor remains)! - Fires Medium Pulse Laser at Battlemaster Red 1 (4 base + 0 range + 2 movement + 0 enemy movement - 2 medium pulse laser = 4): rolled 7, hit Center Torso (22/40 armor remains)! - Fires Medium Pulse Laser at Battlemaster Red 1 (4 base + 0 range + 2 movement + 0 enemy movement - 2 medium pulse laser = 4): rolled 10, hit Left Leg (15/26 armor remains)! Blue 2) Steiner’s Awesome - Torso Twists to threaten hex 1821! - Fires PPC at Javelin Red 6 (4 base + 0 range + 2 movement + 2 enemy movement + 2 minimum range + 1 light woods = 11): rolled 3, miss! - Fires PPC at Javelin Red 6 (4 base + 0 range + 2 movement + 2 enemy movement + 2 minimum range + 1 light woods = 11): rolled 5, miss! - Fires PPC at Javelin Red 6 (4 base + 0 range + 2 movement + 2 enemy movement + 2 minimum range + 1 light woods = 11): rolled 2, miss! - Fires PPC at Javelin Red 6 (4 base + 0 range + 2 movement + 2 enemy movement + 2 minimum range + 1 light woods = 11): rolled 7, miss! - Fires Small Laser at Javelin Red 6 (4 base + 2 range + 2 movement + 2 enemy movement + 1 light woods = 11): rolled 8, miss! - Fires Medium Laser at Kintaro Red 3 (4 base + 4 range + 2 movement + 2 enemy movement + 1 light woods + 2 secondary target in rear arc = 15): automatic miss! - Fires Medium Laser at Kintaro Red 3 (4 base + 4 range + 2 movement + 2 enemy movement + 1 light woods + 2 secondary target in rear arc = 15): automatic miss! Blue 3) Vasquez’s Banshee - Fires PPC at Kintaro Red 3 (4 base + 2 range + 2 movement + 2 enemy movement = 10): rolled 8, miss! - Fires PPC at Kintaro Red 3 (4 base + 2 range + 2 movement + 2 enemy movement = 10): rolled 7, miss! - Fires Autocannon/10 at Kintaro Red 3 (4 base + 2 range + 2 movement + 2 enemy movement = 10): rolled 9, miss! - Fires Medium Laser at Kintaro Red 3 (4 base + 4 range + 2 movement + 2 enemy movement = 12): rolled 3, miss! - Fires Medium Laser at Kintaro Red 3 (4 base + 4 range + 2 movement + 2 enemy movement = 12): rolled 10, miss! - Fires Medium Laser at Kintaro Red 3 (4 base + 4 range + 2 movement + 2 enemy movement = 12): rolled 8, miss! - Fires Medium Laser at Kintaro Red 3 (4 base + 4 range + 2 movement + 2 enemy movement = 12): rolled 5, miss! - Fires SRM-6 at Kintaro Red 3 (4 base + 4 range + 2 movement + 2 enemy movement = 12): rolled 12, 2 missiles hit Left Torso (16/18 armor remains), Right Leg (21/23 armor remains)! Blue 4) Schultz’s Zeus - Fires Large Laser at Black Knight Red 4 (4 base + 4 range + 2 movement + 0 enemy movement + 1 light woods = 11): rolled 10, miss! - Fires Large Laser at Black Knight Red 4 (4 base + 4 range + 2 movement + 0 enemy movement + 1 light woods = 11): rolled 7, miss! - Fires PPC at Black Knight Red 4 (4 base + 2 range + 2 movement + 0 enemy movement + 1 light woods = 9): rolled 11, hit Left Arm (10/20 armor remains)! ?! - Fires LRM-15 at Black Knight Red 4 (4 base + 2 range + 2 movement + 0 enemy movement + 1 light woods = 9): rolled 5, miss! Red 1) Battlemaster - Fires Medium Laser at Atlas II Blue 1 (4 base + 0 range + 2 movement + 0 enemy movement = 6): rolled 8, hit Right Arm (14/34 armor remains)! - Fires Medium Laser at Atlas II Blue 1 (4 base + 0 range + 2 movement + 0 enemy movement = 6): rolled 11, hit Right Torso (15/32 armor remains)! - Fires Medium Laser at Atlas II Blue 1 (4 base + 0 range + 2 movement + 0 enemy movement = 6): rolled 7, hit Left Torso (27/32 armor remains)! - Fires Medium Laser at Atlas II Blue 1 (4 base + 0 range + 2 movement + 0 enemy movement = 6): rolled 7, hit Right Arm (9/34 armor remains)! - Fires SRM-6 at Atlas II Blue 1 (4 base + 0 range + 2 movement + 0 enemy movement = 6): rolled 11, 4 missiles hit Right Torso (13/32 armor remains), Right Torso (11/32 armor remains), Left Torso (25/32 armor remains), Left Arm (12/34 armor remains)! Red 2) Grand Dragon - Torso Twists to threaten hex 1616! - Fires Medium Laser at Zeus Blue 4 (4 base + 0 range + 2 movement + 1 enemy movement = 7): rolled 10, hit Right Arm (17/22 armor remains)! - Fires Medium Laser at Zeus Blue 4 (4 base + 0 range + 2 movement + 1 enemy movement = 7): rolled 8, hit Left Arm (14/22 armor remains)! Red 3) Kintaro - Holds fire! Red 4) Black Knight - Holds fire! Red 6) Javelin - Fires SRM-6 at Awesome Red 2 (4 base + 0 range + 3 movement = 7): rolled 4, miss! - Fires SRM-6 at Awesome Red 2 (4 base + 0 range + 3 movement = 7): rolled 9, 4 missiles hit Left Arm (16/24 armor remains), Right Torso (20/24 armor remains), Left Leg (25/33 armor remains), Left Leg (23/33 armor remains (TAC!))! Red 7) Wolf Trap - Torso Twists to threaten hex 0928! - Fires LB-10X AC (Slug) at Banshee Blue 3 (4 base + 2 range + 2 movement + 0 enemy movement = 8): rolled 7, miss! Red 8) Panther 2 - Torso Twists to threaten hex 1319! - Fires PPC at Awesome Blue 2 (4 base + 0 range + 2 movement + 0 enemy movement = 6): rolled 6, hit Center Torso (11/30 armor remains)! End Phase: Battlemaster Red 1 - Ignores piloting tests for dramatic effect this turn! Black Knight Red 4 - Must roll a 6+ to pass a containment test: rolled 4, fails! Atlas II Blue 1 - Ignores piloting tests for dramatic effect this turn! Awesome Blue 2 - Through-Armor Critical in Left Leg! 1 critical hit sustained! - - Lower Leg Actuator crippled! - Must pass a piloting test or fall (5 base + 1 actuator damage = 6): rolled 8, miss! Physical Combat Phase: Blue 1) Hogarth’s Atlas II - Make it Look Good (5 base + 2 movement = 7): rolled 8, succeeds! Red 1) Battlemaster - Make it Look Good (5 base + 2 movement = 7): rolled 11, succeeds! End Phase: Blue 1) Hogarth’s Atlas II - Rotary Autocannons inexplicably unjam! Hogarth’s pulse lasers stitched molten lines across the Battlemaster’s torso as he heroically rushed to meet the Red Corsair’s brazen challenge. Fists extended like a professional boxer, the bright crimson Battlemaster threw a few shadow punches in the Atlas’s direction before dodging backwards to avoid a swipe of the other Assault `Mech’s massive fist. In a single, graceful motion the Battlemaster clasped both hands together and raised them for an overhead blow at Hogarth’s seemingly vulnerable cockpit, but the heroic movie General was far too swift—or would seem to be, once the scene was sped up in post to make the fight look real for the movie-going audience. The Atlas’s massive fists caught the Battlemaster’s wrists as its joined hands fell, though the force of the impact drove the Atlas to one knee. Its arms quaking under the Battlemaster’s forceful assault. “You’re finished, Hogarth!” The Red Corsair laughed, though her laugh caught in her throat as Thomas cracked open his front cockpit hatch. Stepping forward onto his precarious perch, he motioned for the Red Corsair to do the same. The Battlemaster’s dome-shaped cockpit slid open with a hiss, revealing a slim woman in a featureless black bodysuit and similarly black neurohelmet. That the cameras would’ve gotten a full view of the black-clad young woman actually piloting the Battlemaster would have been no concern, the two-seat design was hardly uncommon and only a trained `Mechwarrior would realize that the rearmost seat was the primary command chair. A shock of knee-length hair, unnaturally red and vibrant, blew in the wind behind the Red Corsair. For this scene, it’d been sewn directly to the costume; and there’d been the usual issues with strands being sucked into the Battlemaster’s ventilation system. Fortunately, no cameras peaked over the Red Corsair’s shoulder to reveal how truly awful the rear of her combat costume looked. “You can’t defeat the Lyran spirit!” Hogarth called to her. “I have quite enough trouble with spirits already, I don’t need yours! The Lyran spirit will never crush Skye,” she countered, “we shall never again kneel to a foreign master!” Hogarth and the Red Corsair stood, heroic opposites—one large, handsome, and vital (if perhaps a touch overweight) and sporting the Lyran Commonwealth’s most famous and respectable moustache with a confidence that warmed the hearts of his men (in theory); the other slim, sensual, and cold as the Tharkad winter they were all pretending was summer on Summer. Their eyes locked, and Hogarth laughed. “I’d recognize you anywhere, Melissa Steiner!” he laughed, clapping his hands together as though he’d just been let in on some great universal joke. “I remember playing with you when we were both children!” “You were never a child, General,” The Red Corsair said darkly. “And you always were too smart for your own—” A distant thundercrack interrupted their conversation as Colonel Schultz’s Zeus scored a direct hit on the distant, immobile Black Knight. A surge of eldritch power burst from the distant `Mech as the glowing runes covering its surface flared—and then exploded in a burst of necrotic green light! The Black Knight crumbled as though made of papier-mâché—which wasn’t far from the truth. For a brief instant, the body of a common Cattlemaster Agromech could be seen beneath the artificial façade before a massive explosion burst from the ground at its feet. “Clovis!” the Red Corsair screamed, her fearful cry changing to a howl of fury in an instant. With a roar, she threw herself back into the Battlemaster’s cockpit which closed around her like the mouth of some great monster. Its joints straining, the crimson `Mech redoubled its efforts to smash Hogarth’s Atlas into the ground. Hogarth tumbled back into the Atlas’s open cockpit, falling conveniently into his command couch. With the front hatch still hanging open he replied to the Red Corsair’s enraged howl with a roar of defiance, his larger and stronger Atlas forcing the Battlemaster’s arms apart—and then snapped them off with only the barest hint of preplanted explosives. The Battlemaster fell to its knees as its pilot’s fighting spirit seemed to flow from it. “Hogarth, you—you goon,” the Red Corsair practically sobbed, “you’ve ruined everything! In another hour, Clovis would’ve had the ghost contained and sealed away! Now it’s free once again!” As if in response to the Red Corsair’s words, a distant lump of snow—an island in the center of the “not frozen” lake shook itself as though waking from a dream. A massive figure, dwarfing even Hogarth’s Atlas rose to its feet, the barrels of its cannons tracking back and forth as if searching for something to kill. In unison, the enemy `Mechs on the field froze in place—then resumed moving in a sickening, jerky fashion. A powerful, thready voice filled the comms with laughter. “A nice try, little Steiner; but your great house means nothing to me. You could have served, now? You shall simply die.” Primary Objectives Destroy Richard Cameron’s Behemoth (0/1) Secondary Objectives Thomas Hogarth duels the Red Corsair (0/1) One of Hogarth’s Heroes “dies” dramatically, but no more than one (0/1) Hogarth kills the ghost with his Ghost-Killer PPC (0/1) Believe in Andrew Steiner (0/1) Cross the Streams (0/4) (everyone has to hit with a PPC for it to count) Hidden Objectives Piles of Cardboard Boxes Destroyed: 1 Fruit Carts Destroyed: 1 Wilhelm Screams: 1 Flubbed Lines: 1  Key: Blue1) Atlas II Blue2) Awesome Blue3) Banshee Blue4) Zeus Red1) Battlemaster – Stationary, 0 Enemy `Mech Key Green2) Dragon – Ran, 2 Green3) Kintaro – Ran, 1 Green6) Javelin – Jumped, 2 Green7) Wolf Trap – Ran, 3 Green8) Panther 2 – Ran, 1 Behemoth – Stationary, 0 Player `Mech Status  Enemy `Mech Status  Cinematic Crit Table 2 – Railing Kill / Protagonist Injured! 3 – Stunned Enemy / Protagonist Flesh Wound! 4 – Huge Random Explosion! 5 – Fruit Vendor Demolished / Chickens Escape / Outhouse Detonates! 6 – Cardboard Boxes Destroyed! 7 – Wilhelm Scream / Flubbed Line! 8 – Cardboard Boxes Destroyed! 9 – Explosive Barrels Explode Unexpectedly! 10 – Something Catches Fire! 11 – Delayed Casualty / Protagonist Flesh Wound! 12 – Kneecapped / Protagonist Injured!
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May 17, 2013 22:35
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