Register a SA Forums Account here!
JOINING THE SA FORUMS WILL REMOVE THIS BIG AD, THE ANNOYING UNDERLINED ADS, AND STUPID INTERSTITIAL ADS!!!

You can: log in, read the tech support FAQ, or request your lost password. This dumb message (and those ads) will appear on every screen until you register! Get rid of this crap by registering your own SA Forums Account and joining roughly 150,000 Goons, for the one-time price of $9.95! We charge money because it costs us $3,400 per month for bandwidth bills alone, and since we don't believe in shoving popup ads to our registered users, we try to make the money back through forum registrations.
«140 »
  • Post
  • Reply
Captain Log
Oct 2, 2006

Captain Log posted:

"I AINT DYING! Choo choo motherfucker!"


Fun Shoe

I once had to sign an "ethics contract" to work at a Nazarene University. Apparently, both smoking cigarettes AND lottery scratch tickets were fireable.

It's a miracle I lasted over three years there.

Edit : And attending a dance. Can't forget that.

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

Memento
Aug 25, 2009




Clapping Larry

Eat This Glob posted:

If you look at the United States expecting thought out-reasoning behind why things are done here, you'd have an embolism.

Most of the "reasoning" behind things like this is that it might make The Baby Jesus cry, therefore it's illegal.

jase1
Aug 11, 2004

Flankensttein: A name given to a FPS gamer who constantly flanks to get kills.

"So I was playing COD yesterday, and some flankenstein came up from behind and shot me."

Yep I pay taxes on just my gambling winnings for the year. I deduct all my losses and what ever is left over I pay taxes on it. I keep a spreadsheet that I update everyday after I gamble. I have been audited 4 times in my life and every time the auditor thinks heís got me until he sees my little gambling hard drive I have that has 15 years of gambling spreadsheets. They are usually impressed when I whip that thing out and on that note gently caress the IRS and itís one the reasons I moved to Florida.

Mr. Nice!
Oct 13, 2005



Nap Ghost

Homesteaaaaaad exemption.

But yeah always pay your god damned taxes.

Skip My Posts
Aug 15, 2005

by FactsAreUseless


lol how have you been audited 4 times?

Mr. Nice!
Oct 13, 2005



Nap Ghost

He has massive gambling winnings/losses so that puts him into a high risk category for audits. Some people just get lucky and get flagged multiple times.

jase1
Aug 11, 2004

Flankensttein: A name given to a FPS gamer who constantly flanks to get kills.

"So I was playing COD yesterday, and some flankenstein came up from behind and shot me."

I also had to go through an audit twice with my business once when I purchased the company and a second time when I sold it The owner wanted to know where the gently caress I got all that money and wanted to make sure he wasnít selling it to a criminal organization. Then they wanted to make sure I wasnít stealing any money Iím pretty open about my gambling to a lot of people and most of the time they donít believe it including thinking I must be getting the money from somewhere illegally.

STONE COLD 64
Oct 20, 2006

austin 3:16 says shut up. shut hte fuck up. where is my beer. i need hel

show them dis thread next time

Fat Twitter Man
Jan 24, 2007

by R. Guyovich


jase1 posted:

Yep I pay taxes on just my gambling winnings for the year. I deduct all my losses and what ever is left over I pay taxes on it. I keep a spreadsheet that I update everyday after I gamble. I have been audited 4 times in my life and every time the auditor thinks heís got me until he sees my little gambling hard drive I have that has 15 years of gambling spreadsheets. They are usually impressed when I whip that thing out and on that note gently caress the IRS and itís one the reasons I moved to Florida.

And now you've made it so good that you have a guy on this forum keeping your spreadsheets for you

DO YALL WANT A BOXC
Jul 20, 2010

I PUT ON MY ROBE AND RANGERS HAT


Fun Shoe

the US has weird reasons that come up against sports betting too. to the point someone made earlier about the lottery, that's right for some states. tennessee in particular has a pretty generous in-state scholarship funded by the lottery that they want to keep not-funded by income or sales tax. and a lot of states, especially where the NCAA is the primary sport, have a lot of people concerned about the players getting paid or corrupted to lose games if there was a lot more money on it due to legalization. the NCAA shaving scandal the guys that goodfellas did in the 60s/70s/70s caused a lot of concern about that

jase1
Aug 11, 2004

Flankensttein: A name given to a FPS gamer who constantly flanks to get kills.

"So I was playing COD yesterday, and some flankenstein came up from behind and shot me."

I figured if there was a small chance the threads might close and I am on a gambling lockdown I might as well make another thread.

https://forums.somethingawful.com/s...hreadid=3840184

DO YALL WANT A BOXC
Jul 20, 2010

I PUT ON MY ROBE AND RANGERS HAT


Fun Shoe

jase1 posted:

I figured if there was a small chance the threads might close and I am on a gambling lockdown I might as well make another thread.

https://forums.somethingawful.com/s...hreadid=3840184

fuckin cool. thank you, love reading these

Mr. Nice!
Oct 13, 2005



Nap Ghost

I know this isn't his personal thread, but he's prolific enough to share the news he posted in A/T. Get well soon, jase1. You'll kick that cancer in the rear end and be hustling again in no time. You and your uncle should go wreck some pool halls while he's in town.

JaySB
Nov 16, 2006





Best wishes on a speedy recovery Jase

Marching Powder
Mar 8, 2008

duckin 4 cover lol. u don't get to see the good fight b*tch



JaySB posted:

Best wishes on a speedy recovery Jase

Captain Log
Oct 2, 2006

Captain Log posted:

"I AINT DYING! Choo choo motherfucker!"


Fun Shoe

I'm betting on you, Jase. You'll put a boot up this thing's rear end!

Troxartas
Jan 13, 2007

The Old Warhorse


Muldoon

Captain Log posted:

I'm betting on you, Jase. You'll put a boot up this thing's rear end!

Wait, if we going on the success rate of this thread, we should probably be betting on cancer if we want Jase to be ok

I.N.R.I
May 26, 2011


Mr. Nice! posted:

I know this isn't his personal thread, but he's prolific enough to share the news he posted in A/T. Get well soon, jase1. You'll kick that cancer in the rear end and be hustling again in no time. You and your uncle should go wreck some pool halls while he's in town.

this is probably a bad time to ask but can I have $300? just kidding . get well soon

Fozzy The Bear
Sep 27, 2009


Jase you should put some money that the cancer will win, that way you will be sure to be cured.

Triticum Guzzler
Jun 16, 2002


Fozzy The Bear posted:

Jase you should put some money that the cancer will win, that way you will be sure to be cured.

In my opinion, stfu

Good luck jase, I hope for a world where no poster has to have things shoved into his dick unless he wants to for sex reasons

jase1
Aug 11, 2004

Flankensttein: A name given to a FPS gamer who constantly flanks to get kills.

"So I was playing COD yesterday, and some flankenstein came up from behind and shot me."

Procedure went well they removed all the cancer from my bladder so I have been downgraded to just low grade bladder cancer and going in and getting monitored once a month the only issue is my dickhole hurts like a motherfucker anytime I piss and nothing takes that pain away.Guess its the chemo medication they shot in my bladder and the fact they ripped a catheter out with no warning. Hope I never have to anything like that again. No alcohol and no pot for awhile per doctor and mostly the wife's orders but good news even though I am technically suppose to be on a gambling lockdown wife said it was alright to make one bet up to 5k on tonights fights since we are gonna watch it anyway and I am not betting on the bucks game. After careful consideration with my Uncle who is a bottle of scotch deep and is currently raiding my liquor cabinet for the bucks game we decided on a 3 bet parlay.

5k on gaethje -185, ngannou -235 and holloway -235 that pays like 10k or a little more than that i thinks it like 10500.

Marching Powder
Mar 8, 2008

duckin 4 cover lol. u don't get to see the good fight b*tch



jase1 posted:

Procedure went well they removed all the cancer from my bladder so I have been downgraded to just low grade bladder cancer and going in and getting monitored once a month the only issue is my dickhole hurts like a motherfucker anytime I piss and nothing takes that pain away.Guess its the chemo medication they shot in my bladder and the fact they ripped a catheter out with no warning. Hope I never have to anything like that again. No alcohol and no pot for awhile per doctor and mostly the wife's orders but good news even though I am technically suppose to be on a gambling lockdown wife said it was alright to make one bet up to 5k on tonights fights since we are gonna watch it anyway and I am not betting on the bucks game. After careful consideration with my Uncle who is a bottle of scotch deep and is currently raiding my liquor cabinet for the bucks game we decided on a 3 bet parlay.

5k on gaethje -185, ngannou -235 and holloway -235 that pays like 10k or a little more than that i thinks it like 10500.

glad to hear the cancer's gone, sorry to hear about the dickhole thing, good luck on the bets.

Mr. Nice!
Oct 13, 2005



Nap Ghost

Good bets and news!

Troxartas
Jan 13, 2007

The Old Warhorse


Muldoon

jase1 posted:

Procedure went well they removed all the cancer from my bladder so I have been downgraded to just low grade bladder cancer and going in and getting monitored once a month the only issue is my dickhole hurts like a motherfucker anytime I piss and nothing takes that pain away.Guess its the chemo medication they shot in my bladder and the fact they ripped a catheter out with no warning. Hope I never have to anything like that again. No alcohol and no pot for awhile per doctor and mostly the wife's orders but good news even though I am technically suppose to be on a gambling lockdown wife said it was alright to make one bet up to 5k on tonights fights since we are gonna watch it anyway and I am not betting on the bucks game. After careful consideration with my Uncle who is a bottle of scotch deep and is currently raiding my liquor cabinet for the bucks game we decided on a 3 bet parlay.

5k on gaethje -185, ngannou -235 and holloway -235 that pays like 10k or a little more than that i thinks it like 10500.

Good to see you back jase, good luck on the bets

Jerusalem
May 20, 2004

Would you be my new best friends?


gently caress only just read about the cancer, so glad the procedure sounds like it went well, have a speedy recovery jase

jase1
Aug 11, 2004

Flankensttein: A name given to a FPS gamer who constantly flanks to get kills.

"So I was playing COD yesterday, and some flankenstein came up from behind and shot me."

That's no fun now I have to watch the rest of the card and there isn't a sweat. I hope hollawy puts on a good show.

Mr. Nice!
Oct 13, 2005



Nap Ghost

I mean at least you got a loving war to watch before your 5k disappeared with a knee.

jase1
Aug 11, 2004

Flankensttein: A name given to a FPS gamer who constantly flanks to get kills.

"So I was playing COD yesterday, and some flankenstein came up from behind and shot me."

Overeem is dead. That was worth 5k.

spb
Nov 11, 2013



Wonder what the betting line will be Ngannou/Stipe

Skip My Posts
Aug 15, 2005

by FactsAreUseless


supposedly ngannou is favored

Bubba Smith
Sep 27, 2004

Is tonight the greatest moment in Dominick Cruz's life?

No.

The greatest moment in my life was realizing that I didn't need a belt to be happy.


Skip My Posts posted:

supposedly ngannou is favored

i'm gonna bet on him to win by KO.

Memento
Aug 25, 2009




Clapping Larry

vaginal facsimile posted:

Wonder what the betting line will be Ngannou/Stipe

Sportsbet has Ngannou as a -165 favourite with Stipe at +120.

I'm hosed if I know who's going to win though. If Stipe can do a wrestle then I think he gets it, but that's a big loving if.

Fat Twitter Man
Jan 24, 2007

by R. Guyovich


Memento posted:

Sportsbet has Ngannou as a -165 favourite with Stipe at +120.

I'm hosed if I know who's going to win though. If Stipe can do a wrestle then I think he gets it, but that's a big loving if.

I donít think wrestling will be his strategy, heíll probably reply on the jab and keeping distance. Heíll need to at least threaten the takedown for it to work, but he gave up chasing takedowns in the second JDS fight and it worked out for him.

I honestly think Ngannou is a more favorable style matchup for Stipe than JDS or Overeem but Stipe got hurt in both fights and Ngannou is pretty dangerous. I still think those odds are crazy but donít know that Iíd bet on Stipe as a favorite.

vainman
Nov 2, 2012

I find your lack of faith... disturbing

Ngannou's still kind of an unknown in terms of wrestling, so I'm surprised he's a favourite. Hunt has better hands although less power and Miocic wrecked him

Skip My Posts
Aug 15, 2005

by FactsAreUseless


Overeem killed Hunt too

willie_dee
Jun 21, 2010
I obtain sexual gratification from observing people being inflicted with violent head injuries

Skip My Posts posted:

Overeem killed Hunt too

Booo.

He almost got thrown out of the cage by a short notice unfit JT.

Skip My Posts
Aug 15, 2005

by FactsAreUseless


i dont think you can use a performance against hunt to make a good judgement on how someone would do against ngannou. theyre really different

vainman
Nov 2, 2012

I find your lack of faith... disturbing

Well yeah, but I meant Miocic has shown he will wrestle if he thinks he'll lose the stand up. That's pretty rare

NickRoweFillea
Sep 27, 2012

doin thangs


Cheers jase, hope you are on the mend and that your wiener stops giving you grief

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

DumbWhiteGuy
Jul 4, 2007

You need haters. Fellas if you got 20 haters, you need 40 of them motherfuckers. If there's any haters in here that don't have nobody to hate on, feel free to hate on me


I got one of those prepaid credit cards for christmas and attempted to put all that money into online gambling. It looks like BetDSI rejected my card but they did give me $25 in free play so I've got 25 on Cyborg at -348 to win 7.18.

  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
  • Post
  • Reply
«140 »