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Nessa
Dec 15, 2008



boquiabierta posted:

Yay! Happy for you! Having nausea is associated with lower rates of miscarriage, so Iíd take it as a good sign too. Congrats!

Thank you!

My coworker had her last day today before going on maternity leave. Her due date is end of March, but she just got told she needed to have a procedure to turn the baby and needed to be on maternity leave when she had it, as it could induce labour. She got ďin troubleĒ with my boss for not giving him 6 weeks notice and had to bring a doctorís note. Technically, she could have already started her maternity leave, but she was staying as long as she could out of the kindness of her heart, despite absolutely hating the job. She will not be coming back afterwards and everyone in my office knew it except for my boss.

I wanted to do something nice for her, so I got a card for everyone to sign, a coffee shop gift card and brought little cupcakes and cookies for us to have in the conference room today. I also got a colouring book and crayons for her 2 year old son who miiiight not handle a new baby super well.

I only found out later that our boss didnít even sign the loving card after I handed it to him this morning. Only person who didnít sign it. He didnít so much as wish her well. Sheís had a difficult pregnancy with some health complications, including cancer concerns and itís made her super stressed out. Sheís about to have her 15th ultrasound and told me she had been bleeding her whole pregnancy, which caused her a lot of stress. Her baby is also about a month behind in size, so I really hope she and baby pull through okay.

I confided in her that I was 7 weeks along and she told me to let her know how everything goes at my first ultrasound and understands why I would be so anxious after my miscarriage. It was nice to let someone else know, but I wonít be letting more people know until after weíve seen a strong heartbeat.

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femcastra
Apr 25, 2008

If you want him,
come and knit him!


In the waiting room for the glucose tolerance test, first blood test done and have downed the syrup solution.

Could go a sleep to be honest.

boquiabierta
May 27, 2010

"I will throw my best friend an abortion party if she wants one"


The glucose test made me sleepy too. Felt like sleepy garbage. Did you get your result?

External Organs
Mar 3, 2006

A cheerful person, he is known as the king of vulgarities (cursing?)

Hello Pregoons!

My wife is 33 weeks with our first kid, a girl. All is going well so far, thankfully. My wife is worried about possible post partum issues, in terms of mental and physical side effects. Iíd like to be as prepared as I can. Iím going to take a month off to be with her and the baby, and Iíd love to have various products / information on hand that might be helpful.

What helped you during postpartum?

femcastra
Apr 25, 2008

If you want him,
come and knit him!


External Organs posted:

Hello Pregoons!

My wife is 33 weeks with our first kid, a girl. All is going well so far, thankfully. My wife is worried about possible post partum issues, in terms of mental and physical side effects. Iíd like to be as prepared as I can. Iím going to take a month off to be with her and the baby, and Iíd love to have various products / information on hand that might be helpful.

What helped you during postpartum?

Giving baby to someone so I could go have a long shower, or use the toilet, or eat a meal. Just giving some time off every so often. Naps. Having meals made that could be eaten one handed when it was witching hour and baby needed to be held.

Bloody Cat Farm
Oct 20, 2010

I can smell your pussy, Clarice.


femcastra posted:

Giving baby to someone so I could go have a long shower, or use the toilet, or eat a meal. Just giving some time off every so often. Naps. Having meals made that could be eaten one handed when it was witching hour and baby needed to be held.

All of this.

I also found myself extremely lonely for the first few weeks. Like really lonely. One thing I didnít realize was how isolating it is. Dealing with the baby blues and being alone was hard for me. Spend as much time with her as you can if sheís up for it. And if sheís up for company, try to have her family come over to visit.

peanut
Sep 9, 2007




Shopping on her behalf is very good, but being with babby instead and letting mom go out and do stuff alone (or get lunch w friends) is better.
Products can be bought as you go along. You may also be offered hand-me-downs. She'll be awake at night so a dimmable light/reading light will make that time a little more pleasant.

Sarah
Apr 4, 2005

I'm watching you.

External Organs posted:

Hello Pregoons!

My wife is 33 weeks with our first kid, a girl. All is going well so far, thankfully. My wife is worried about possible post partum issues, in terms of mental and physical side effects. I’d like to be as prepared as I can. I’m going to take a month off to be with her and the baby, and I’d love to have various products / information on hand that might be helpful.

What helped you during postpartum?

Bloody Cat Farm posted:

All of this.

I also found myself extremely lonely for the first few weeks. Like really lonely. One thing I didnít realize was how isolating it is. Dealing with the baby blues and being alone was hard for me. Spend as much time with her as you can if sheís up for it. And if sheís up for company, try to have her family come over to visit.

To give a different perspective on this, I was the opposite. I was so tired of people coming around. My mom was particularly bad. My parents live 30 min away, but they seemed to suddenly really enjoy going to the mall 2 minutes from my house and calling saying they were swinging by because they were at the mall and wanted to see the baby...... At first I couldn't say no. Eventually I got so annoyed with people dropping by that it came out too harsh.

External Organs, you may need to be the bad guy and put your foot down to family. My husband works 3rd shift and was asleep during all of this. So it went on way too long before I blew up.

Bloody Cat Farm
Oct 20, 2010

I can smell your pussy, Clarice.


Sarah posted:

To give a different perspective on this, I was the opposite. I was so tired of people coming around. My mom was particularly bad. My parents live 30 min away, but they seemed to suddenly really enjoy going to the mall 2 minutes from my house and calling saying they were swinging by because they were at the mall and wanted to see the baby...... At first I couldn't say no. Eventually I got so annoyed with people dropping by that it came out too harsh.

External Organs, you may need to be the bad guy and put your foot down to family. My husband works 3rd shift and was asleep during all of this. So it went on way too long before I blew up.

Iím glad someone else weighed in, as that was just my experience. I had read at the time that how I was feeling was really normal for new moms, but I can totally see how other new moms can feel the way you did.

silvergoose
Mar 18, 2006

IT IS SAID THE TEARS OF THE BWEENIX CAN HEAL ALL WOUNDS



It can even be both. The key is to get the company you want and need, and not get too much of the company that makes you more tired and worn out.

marchantia
Nov 5, 2009

WHAT IS THIS

It is so individual! Hard to give advice I think, except prepare to be tired and for it not to be super fun which it seems like you are prepared for. I heard a lot of people didn't like when guests came over and wanted to hold the baby but my mom would come over and take care of the baby while I took a nap and it kept me going in the early weeks (my husband only took a week off in the beginning so he could take a chunk of time after I went back to work).

Also be prepared that breastfeeding might be a struggle. She should mentally prepare that it isn't going to necessarily be easy or intuitive. We ended up using formula and it was a great choice for us. Some people have really strong feelings about feeding babies but if we ever have another, I will be combo feeding formula and breast milk from the beginning because it sucks to be 100% responsibility for feeding and having formula in the picture allowed my husband and parents to help out. Just something to think about.

Pinus Porcus
May 14, 2019

Ranger McFriendly


External Organs posted:

Hello Pregoons!

My wife is 33 weeks with our first kid, a girl. All is going well so far, thankfully. My wife is worried about possible post partum issues, in terms of mental and physical side effects. I’d like to be as prepared as I can. I’m going to take a month off to be with her and the baby, and I’d love to have various products / information on hand that might be helpful.

What helped you during postpartum?

Honestly, just lots of help around the house. My husband did all the laundry, cleaning and cooking ( we made a bunch of freezer meals to keep it easy), bought little treats like good chocolate, etc. Be prepared to fetch lots of water and snacks if she breastfeeds.

For the first like 4 days, I was totally wiped. I didn't want to see anyone, I didn't want to get dressed, I didn't want to make decisions, nothing. Then, all I wanted was a shower. Just be helpful and understanding to those weird whims and do what you can to facilitate them. Each person/pregnancy/birth is so different that we really can't say what will work for her, so you will have to roll with it, but be prepared for her potentially not feeling up to doing anything other than baby stuff.

I do second the book light though; I read a lot in the middle of the night, and didn't want to use electronics due to blue light

boquiabierta
May 27, 2010

"I will throw my best friend an abortion party if she wants one"


I would add take as much leave from work as you can. Iím unclear if a month is what you can take or what youíve chosen to take; Iím of the opinion dads should have generous paternity leave too. The hardest thing for me has been my husband going back to work. Especially if she doesnít have other family coming to help. Just be around as much as you can.

L0cke17
Nov 29, 2013



My wife is expecting our first kid mid-may and we're also looking into parental leave stuff. Hers sucks, 6 weeks half pay, 6 weeks unpaid. Mine is 6 full paid, 2 weeks work from home, 6 unpaid if I want it after that.

We're gonna also have help from her parents starting ~3 weeks after the kid is born so that's gonna be a significant help.

Currently were planning on her taking the full 12 weeks, and me just doing 6 paid+2 working from home as much as I can after. Should I try and schedule my work so I can take more than those 8 weeks at home? Money could be a little tight with both of us unpaid for 6 weeks though.

peanut
Sep 9, 2007




Can you save some of that for events/emergencies?

Balancing parental leave makes me angry (sad) because mothers are/feel obligated to return to work soon because their health insurance is tied to their job and/or single income families are impossible now ;_____;

Emily Spinach
Oct 20, 2010


Later, idiots. I'm going to space.



It's really a shitshow in the states for leave, and the reactions when you describe it to people who live in vaguely functional social democracies can be kind of funny in a "laugh or cry" sort of way. I'm the only US based person on my team and was in London last week for a meeting. We were discussing how sometimes our team can be made to feel a little second class, and I brought up our firm's parental leave policies in the US (relatively generous if slightly below industry standards for billing attorneys, much much worse (although still better than what a lot of Americans get) for staff including non-billing attorneys like my team).

When I described this to a room full of Brits their horror was palpable. Especially when I got to the leave for staff. I imagine if I had to describe some of the things people cobble together to get even what staff gets some of them might have fainted.

L0cke17
Nov 29, 2013



peanut posted:

Can you save some of that for events/emergencies?

Balancing parental leave makes me angry (sad) because mothers are/feel obligated to return to work soon because their health insurance is tied to their job and/or single income families are impossible now ;_____;

Sort of? My work has unlimited vacation/sick days as long as I hit deadlines. Last year I took ~31 days off (but the caveat to that is we only have 4 company holidays, instead of 10-12 most people have it seems).

Also we use my insurance not my wife's and we can live off just one salary indefinitely if we needed to, even if money would be very tight doing that.

Sarah
Apr 4, 2005

I'm watching you.

L0cke17 posted:

Sort of? My work has unlimited vacation/sick days as long as I hit deadlines. Last year I took ~31 days off (but the caveat to that is we only have 4 company holidays, instead of 10-12 most people have it seems).

Also we use my insurance not my wife's and we can live off just one salary indefinitely if we needed to, even if money would be very tight doing that.

Was in the same situation with insurance and money. To be honest, I wasn't sure when I was pregnant and when I was in the hospital if I was even going to go back to work. After 4 weeks at home, I knew stay at home mom wasn't for me and was glad to go back to work. Love my daughter to bits, but I cannot be the sole source of entertainment for another being. It's exhausting.

Emily Spinach
Oct 20, 2010


Later, idiots. I'm going to space.



If anyone's interested, I've restarted the getting knocked up thread, for those of us who aren't pregnant yet. It's here: https://forums.somethingawful.com/s...hreadid=3915703

External Organs
Mar 3, 2006

A cheerful person, he is known as the king of vulgarities (cursing?)

boquiabierta posted:

I would add take as much leave from work as you can. Iím unclear if a month is what you can take or what youíve chosen to take; Iím of the opinion dads should have generous paternity leave too. The hardest thing for me has been my husband going back to work. Especially if she doesnít have other family coming to help. Just be around as much as you can.

It's what I can afford. It'll be 2 weeks worth of PTO and the rest unpaid. I wish it could be more! Luckily her mother and sister are both teachers, so they will be much more available to help out once the summer months come.

I'm super thankful for all the advice! I read it out loud to her and she was like "What forum is this? This is great stuff!"

Nessa
Dec 15, 2008



Has anyone else experienced tongue numbness/tingling after eating? Is this a pregnancy symptom? It happened last week after eating chicken pot pie and again today after some asparagus. It went away after about 20 minutes or so.

Iím going to ask my OB about it if all goes well at my ultrasound on Tuesday. Just wondering if anyone else has experienced it.

Koivunen
Oct 7, 2011

there's definitely no logic
to human behaviour

Sleep was a huge problem for me because I was so anxious about the babyís wellbeing. It was very helpful when my husband told me that he was going to take the baby for the night and I had to stay in bed until morning, and that he would bring her up when she was hungry. That was the only way I got sleep, if I knew someone was up with her. I worried about not bonding with her if I was sleeping, but I was going completely nuts, which isnít helpful to anyone.

Donít be surprised if her emotions are off the wall and really intense, just try to be gentle and supportive of her. I cried nearly constantly for two weeks, mostly for no reason, other than everything I felt was amplified by a million. Encourage her to get outside at least one a day, that was tremendously helpful for me too even though I could barely walk.

Carotid
Dec 18, 2008



I'm 15 weeks with my first pregnancy (it's a girl!) and my husband and I are over the moon. The first trimester went pretty well, though I did spend a solid month just feeling sick and reverted to a toddler diet (pasta and vegan chicken nuggets all day every day). I'm craving a lot more vegetables and healthy food now, thank goodness.

Reception to the pregnancy has been great for the most part, but the biggest frustration has been people questioning my vegan diet--like people are SHOCKED that I plan to stay vegan during the pregnancy. Luckily my OB is vegan too, so I just tell them "Until she thinks it's a problem, I'm not going to worry about it" and that seems to shut them up.

At this point I'm just riding the pregnancy wave and hoping that doctor appointments continue to go well. I hate how much daycare is going to cost though

Koivunen
Oct 7, 2011

there's definitely no logic
to human behaviour

I was completely vegetarian and often vegan for my pregnancy. I had cheese and occasionally eggs from my friendsí farm. My baby is perfectly fine, my health was fine, just needed some extra iron in the third trimester, which is available in plant based over the counter solutions. Having an animal product free pregnancy isnít that crazy as long as you get lots of healthy variety in your diet, especially in the second and third trimesters.

My baby is mostly vegetarian too, the only meat she gets is when her dad is eating something with meat when we are out, which has only been a few times in the last year. Thankfully she loves beans and lentils and pretty much everything weíve given to her.

Nessa
Dec 15, 2008



Ahhhhh.... just had my first ultrasound at 9 weeks and we saw the baby! Heartbeat looked really good and we got a little print out of the little gummy bear. The measurements aligned perfectly with my dates, so Iím due October 5th!

I had such a hard time sleeping last night with bad dream after bad dream because I was so anxious about this appointment, but now I am so relieved that there was something to see this time!

life is a joke
Mar 7, 2016


My first is coming in November, we tried for 5 months and finally this month we saw that second pink line, what a moment! I always have the little fantasies in my head about being in the delivery room during the birth and all that, but considering how hard (in a good way) the positive test hit me I can already tell I'm going to be a mess. Technically this thread is the first place I've told anyone, which feels weird lol but I'm glad this resource is here. I've read some opinions that you're pretty "safe" to tell people after you get the first heartbeat instead of waiting until the first trimester, but I can barely contain myself. I want to tell everyone NOW. We're in week 5 so still early. I can make it to 12 if need be. Very excited about my little poppy seed.

I'm extra glad I jumped ITT on this page because we are both vegan too, though we broke it to take real fish oil caplets with prenatal vitamins (it was suggested by the dr who was advising us when we decided to start trying). My gf has an appointment with an RD in a few days and I think she will be pretty good. Will prob have some q's here after. Is it worth looking into an RD (or other) who specializes in vegan prenatal diets? I'm sure such a thing exists but will probably be hard to find and expensive.

Hadlock
Nov 9, 2004





I would definitely pony up the extra cash for the vegan specific RD

Koivunen
Oct 7, 2011

there's definitely no logic
to human behaviour

Just use The Google to verify which foods are high in things like iron, protein, folate, fortified b 12, etc. Eating a well rounded diet is the most important thing she can do for your baby. Depending on how the first trimester goes her choices may be limited by food aversion, nausea, etc, but as long as sheís eating healthy foods it will be ok. I had to take an iron supplement in my third trimester but thatís pretty common even for women who eat animal products.

We told people the day we got the positive strip. Thereís no right or wrong way to do things.

marchantia
Nov 5, 2009

WHAT IS THIS

I told anyone that I would tell if I had a miscarriage...for me that was my parents and a few close friends. I couldn't have waited, and I would have wanted support if something went wrong.

Oh and... congrats!!!

Carotid
Dec 18, 2008



Congratulations! It was really hard for me to keep the pregnancy a secret for the first trimester, I wanted to shout it from the rooftops! But my husband and I both knew that it would be hard for us to update everyone in the event that something went wrong with the pregnancy, so we only told immediate family and friends that we knew we'd feel comfortable talking about miscarriage/etc with. We started telling more people and eventually did the big announcement after our first ultrasound and the NIPT results came in clear. It was absolutely worth the wait knowing that the risk is much smaller for the baby.

I definitely value having a vegan OB, and I personally track all of my food's calories and macros, which I was doing before I got pregnant anyway, so it's second nature to me (I just like to know what I'm eating). I eat a lot of tofu, beans, seitan, and tempeh, in addition to lots of dark veggies, so I don't have much of a problem hitting my needed protein. All of my bloodwork has been coming back fine so far. I also have overnight oats in the morning with fortified nondairy milk to get calcium and other vitamins I need, in addition to a B12 supplement alongside my prenatals.

Of course my first trimester was a shitshow when it came to my diet, but like everyone says, your gf should be fine nutrition-wise if she gets back on the wagon when she's feeling better.

Hadlock
Nov 9, 2004





https://m.acog.org/Clinical-Guidanc...Coronavirus2019

General:

Based on limited data and case examples from previous coronaviruses (SARS-CoV and MERS-CoV) and a small number of COVID-19 cases, it is believed that pregnant women may be at higher risk of severe illness, morbidity, or mortality compared with the general population (1-3). Adverse infant outcomes (eg, preterm birth) also have been reported among infants born to mothers positive for COVID-19 during pregnancy. However, this information is based on limited data and it is not clear that these outcomes were related to maternal infection. Currently it is unclear if COVID-19 can cross through the transplacental route to the fetus. There have been a few unsubstantiated reports of infants testing positive for the virus shortly after birth, but validated data is required to understand how these infants were infected and whether or not the virus can be transmitted during pregnancy. In limited recent case series of infants born to mothers infected with COVID-19 published in the peer-reviewed literature, none of the infants have tested positive for COVID-19 (1).

To reduce the risk of transmission of the virus that causes COVID-19 from the mother to the newborn, facilities should consider temporarily separating (eg, separate rooms) the mother who has confirmed COVID-19 or is a PUI from her baby until the mother’s transmission-based precautions are discontinued.

Breastfeeding:

There are rare exceptions when breastfeeding or feeding expressed breast milk is not recommended. Whether and how to start or continue breastfeeding should be determined by the mother in coordination with her family and health care practitioners. Currently, the primary concern is not whether the virus can be transmitted through breastmilk, but rather whether an infected mother can transmit the virus through respiratory droplets during the period of breastfeeding. A mother with confirmed COVID-19 or who is a symptomatic PUI should take all possible precautions to avoid spreading the virus to her infant, including washing her hands before touching the infant and wearing a face mask, if possible, while breastfeeding. If expressing breast milk with a manual or electric breast pump, the mother should wash her hands before touching any pump or bottle parts and follow recommendations for proper pump cleaning after each use. If possible, consider having someone who is well feed the expressed breast milk to the infant.

In limited case series reported to date, no evidence of virus has been found in the breast milk of women infected with COVID-19; however, it is not yet known if COVID-19 can be transmitted through breast milk (ie, infectious virus in the breast milk).

TLDR;

Wash your drat hands

life is a joke
Mar 7, 2016


Yeah not gonna lie, I have been extremely anxious and feel like I am missing out on once-in-a-lifetime joy because of the stress. I stocked up on food/supplies and we are going to stay at home for as long as we can. But we live in one of the densest parts of Manhattan so have for weeks basically been out at restaurants, on the subway, and surrounded on all sides by people people people. Just gonna keep an eye out for any weird non-pregnancy symptoms. So far so good so just hoping if we live in our little airlock apartment however long we need to (except appointments) we will not have to worry about the above-posted information.

Sorry if this is TMI, just feeling anxious and want to get it out somehow! We're also excited/anxious in a good way too so it's not all doom and gloom in our nest, but I really wish that edge wasn't there.

Nessa
Dec 15, 2008



Huh, looks like thereís a lot of different info going around. Someone had just posted this on another pregnancy group Iím a part of: [url] https://www.rcog.org.uk/globalasset...-2020-03-09.pdf[/url]

This one seems to say that pregnant people donít seem to be any more at risk than the general population when it comes to developing severe symptoms.

Itís still good to wash your hands and be cognizant of catching illnesses though. I just found out my coworker has the flu and I am encouraging her to stay home from work tomorrow.

Back in December/January my entire office got sick over the course of a few weeks. Everyone but me. I somehow was the only one to escape getting sick, but know my luck will run out soon enough. It suuuucks to be sick while pregnant cause all the stuff that I always take for sickness is no longer safe to use. I wanna be cautious and not get sick anytime soon, whether thatís corona, or just the plain old flu.

At least I donít have to take public transit to work anymore. Buses are a great way to get sick.

Sarah
Apr 4, 2005

I'm watching you.

I can't find any solid information online about pregnancy and COVID-19 apart from the CDC and it basically just says they don't know, and I know this is new and they haven't had time to figure it out, but I don't like that answer.

Ohio has a call center set up staffed with nurses and doctors, and it's run by the Ohio Department of Health. https://www.fox19.com/2020/03/11/oh...virus-response/

I know you're not in Ohio, but you can still call and get information. I know someone who is working in the call center and they are taking over 650+ calls an hour, so it may be difficult to get through... Ohio is being extremely transparent and open about everything, if they don't know the answer they will find out.

Sarah fucked around with this message at 01:25 on Mar 14, 2020

Silent Linguist
Jun 10, 2009




Can someone tell me if Iím being stupid?

Iím almost 8 weeks pregnant and still wearing my Ava tracker at night. My skin temperature had been nice and high up until a week ago, but since then it has dropped more than one degree. It hasnít been this low since right after I ovulated. Iíve also noticed that my nausea has decreased in that same time (I still get it on and off, but in week 6 I felt sick ALL THE TIME). I have a history of over-analyzing my Ava charts, I just donít know if this is bad or not.

I have my first doctorís appointment on Tuesday but no ultrasound for another month. Iím freakin out man

cailleask
May 6, 2007



Itís probably fine! Nobody knows why Triphasic temperature patterns happen, but Fertility Friend speculated from some older study that itís related to the corpus luteum? That stops functioning between weeks 7 and 9 of the pregnancy. So... lotta speculation here but I wouldnít worry about it too much. See: https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/320433 and https://www.fertilityfriend.com/Faq...-Pregnancy.html

life is a joke
Mar 7, 2016


Whatís the best app for tracking/logging during pregnancy?

Nessa
Dec 15, 2008



life is a joke posted:

Whatís the best app for tracking/logging during pregnancy?

Iíve been using Ovia. Itís got some nice symptom, activity and nutrition tracking features and a calendar for appointments.

I also like that you can choose the baby size comparison. Thereís ďfruits and veggies,Ē ďfun and games,Ē ďParisian bakery,Ē and my favourite, ďweird but cute animals.Ē

My little one is the size of a cardinal tetra fish this week.

Carotid
Dec 18, 2008



I use Ovia as well, I like the design and I use it to keep track of my weight and doctor's appointments, in addition to my baby's size. What's cool is once the baby gets big enough, they also give you a visual size estimate of baby's hands and feet, which my mom loves to see every week.

Right now my baby's the size of a Playstation controller! Sweet little goonbaby.

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Nessa
Dec 15, 2008



I am... concerned now that all non-urgent surgeries in my province have been cancelled. My NT ultrasound at an imaging clinic is on Monday and I really hope it doesnít get cancelled. I mean, itís an important screening test that can only be done during a certain time frame. Would that count as essential or elective care?

I know Iíve heard of some peopleís dating ultrasounds getting cancelled, so Iím not sure where mine falls.

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