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My wife gave birth to our little girl this afternoon. We were both shocked by how straightforward the process was. She 40 weeks and 3 days, came in for a scheduled induction yesterday evening, started having painful contractions this morning which were immediately soothed by a great epidural, and then pushed for all of 45 minutes before our baby joined us! Right now she’s taking a little nap before the next feeding. Our daughter is already breastfeeding pretty well. We’re so excited to take her home and embark on our six weeks of lunacy. I know that the decade old OP has an IRC channel, but is there a Goon newborn/parenting Discord? I’m sure I’ll have a ton of questions that weren’t answered by the few parenting books and blogs that we read.
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May 20, 2023 02:25
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I don't know about a discord but there is a parenting thread here: https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3508127&pagenumber=868&perpage=40 And congratulations!
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May 20, 2023 02:49
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Congratulations on baby aggro!
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May 20, 2023 02:59
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Congratulations!
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May 20, 2023 16:10
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Congrats! Welcome to the no sleep but totally worth it club!
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May 21, 2023 13:21
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Just an update on the legal status/situation with regards to my earlier posts about my wife and her leave/pregnancy discrimination in the workplace. I write this to anyone that's pregnant (or their partners) because you each deserve the time, leave, respect, and accommodations that you not only are entitled to by law, but deserve. We should be celebrating the fact that people are getting pregnant in the face of a falling birth rate- we should be encouraging kids to bond with their parents and protecting mothers while affording them the best chance at a healthy, complication-free pregnancy. As lovely as it is to have even more on your plate while pregnant, familiarizing yourself as best as possible with the pregnancy laws in your own state, and educating yourself about them, is crucial to being able to advocate for yourself because my god, if you don't (unless you're blessed with a godsend of a boss) your company likely won't. My wife is now on 18 weeks of paid maternity leave in Washington State (2 weeks of doctored ordered medical, followed by 4 weeks of pregnancy recovery medical, and 12 weeks of bonding time) because I've immersed myself in the law, spoken with a lawyer, and countered the bullshit that her employer was trying to shove down her throat. This is after the company forced another employee at one of her others branches to take only 12 (she's entitled to a minimum of 16, up to 18 maximum paid weeks) but the company basically pushed her into it and tried to do the same to my wife. We've dotted our i's and crossed our t's and we've moved the pieces on the chess board into our favor, but it's been a hell of a stressful few months. We have all the makings of a pregnancy discrimination lawsuit lined up as well if they try to can her position or discontinue her benefits while she's on leave, which, after our recent barrage, they've claimed they will not (but I won't put anything past this company at this point). Unfortunately, not everyone has the time, legalese, or resources to be able to advocate for themselves. I want to preface this with the fact that I'm not a lawyer nor am I offering legal advice, but if you're pregnant and your state offers paid family/medical leave and you're unsure/having a hard time understanding it, I'll make myself available via PM to do my best to help break down your state's law as best I understand it. I'd be more than willing to do this in whatever way fits your time-frame or need (a Zoom call, PM, via e-mail, whatever works best for you). If you're the pregnant person or the spouse/partner, I'm happy to do what I can to help break things down as best as possible. Sometimes it's easier to do it in private because you don't want to air poo poo out on a forum. I totally get that! I've watched my brilliant wife suffer from 'pregnancy brain' and sometimes just another set of eyes can help. I'm blessed to work at home and am actually getting into policy analysis for the state, so while I'm not a lawyer, I have a decent grasp of legalese and would relish the chance to pay it forward and help do what I can to make things as easy as possible for fellow goons needing a hand. T-minus 22 days until showtime, thank you to everyone who offered advice/words of encouragement and support! TheKevman fucked around with this message at 05:24 on May 29, 2023 |
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May 29, 2023 05:22
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Echoing the previous excellent post, I have literally received conflicting information from the subcontracted company that administers parental leave for my company. I escalated to HR and they politely yet firmly asked for the name of the person who gave me misinformation so they could bring the hurt. One of my friends recently was given incorrect information by her (small startup's) HR in order to pressure her to come back to work sooner. They wouldn't let her use flexible time off to cover the maternity leave they don't give. Another friend's husband was told by his HR that since he's on a visa he doesn't get parental leave (incorrect, at least in our state). Know your rights. Document everything. I'm at two months to go and my incubating child basically rotates between breech, transverse and cephalic lies throughout the day. It is terrible. I rate breech as most comfortable (as long as you're cool with a head in your ribs), head down as most mentally soothing, and transverse breech is absolute hell, one star, please stop using my uterus as a hammock.
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May 30, 2023 03:24
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If you're getting in fights with your employer that require a lawyer to resolve, it is usually a good idea to start looking for other employment. They will find a reason to fire you eventually if they want to find one.
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May 30, 2023 05:17
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Hieronymous Alloy posted:If you're getting in fights with your employer that require a lawyer to resolve, it is usually a good idea to start looking for other employment. They will find a reason to fire you eventually if they want to find one. Right, but a lot easier said than done once you've started showing- pregnancy laws be damned. Also, if you leave after getting pregnant, you're almost guaranteeing yourself not to qualify for federal FMLA since you won't reach the 1,250 hour threshold of employment with the same employer to qualify for 12 weeks of unpaid, job protected leave. Even if you're in a state that offers PFML in excess of FMLA, you're playing with fire depending on employer requirements (Washington is nice since the program is state run, there isn't a threshold for consecutive hours as an employee at a company, merely in the state, but still). Pregnancy discrimination is extremely real and companies have you essentially roped in and are able to lean on you, if they're ethically devoid. She had been counting on the benefits, ability to work until leave, job protected paid leave, etc. To have that rug feeling like it's being pulled out from underneath you is terrifying since this was something we'd literally planned months in advance, and wouldn't have tried to conceive if we'd known this would have been the case. take me to the beaver posted:Echoing the previous excellent post, I have literally received conflicting information from the subcontracted company that administers parental leave for my company. I escalated to HR and they politely yet firmly asked for the name of the person who gave me misinformation so they could bring the hurt. Exactly! It's such a poo poo show when you get stuck with an HR department/group that speaks with such authority. With a large percentage of workers living paycheck to paycheck, not having the time, energy, or even knowing where to go to do the research on their own, we've seen a number of people just take what they say as the gospel because (understandably in their mind) 'its my employer so it must be true.' It's so incredibly frustrating and demoralizing. TheKevman fucked around with this message at 07:30 on May 30, 2023 |
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May 30, 2023 07:12
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HR is there to protect the company, not you. If your desires line up with the company's, then they'll be helpful. If not, they'll always protect the company.
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May 31, 2023 00:49
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Agree HR should probably be named "your enemy" and I'm not at all being ironic. Their priorities are: protect the company from lawsuits, and secondarily keep the C suite happy. As a rank and file employee you're merely a problem for them, nothing more. "Hungry mouth to feed" at best
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May 31, 2023 02:52
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So true, good points.
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May 31, 2023 03:12
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We're 37 weeks out and just got a GBS test result that reads "carrier" and aren't sure what it means. We're of course asking our doctor and doula but they're being unusually slow to respond and my wife is really stressing out. Based on my readings even if it's positive we'll be fine, but what the hell does "carrier" mean? Isn't everyone a carrier of strep?
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Jun 5, 2023 14:45
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It just means she's currently testing as having the strep bacteria present, even if she doesn't have any symptoms. What that means is she'll have to get an IV antibiotic during labor to make sure it doesn't spread to the baby.
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Jun 5, 2023 15:10
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Thank you. That's what we assumed, but it felt like we were staring at the office printer saying "GBS Carrier? What the gently caress does that mean?"
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Jun 5, 2023 16:12
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Yeah, it's pretty straightforward. I was GBS+ last time, and according to my midwife it's likely I will be this time too (just had the test swab this morning). She said something like 25% of women test positive fwiw.
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Jun 5, 2023 19:26
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TheKevman posted:Just an update on the legal status/situation with regards to my earlier posts about my wife and her leave/pregnancy discrimination in the workplace. I'm assuming that working for a company with less than 50 employees I'm SOL re: FMLA?
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Jun 6, 2023 22:31
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EVG posted:I'm assuming that working for a company with less than 50 employees I'm SOL re: FMLA? Unless you're in California, where the FMLA is superceded by the CFRA, which among other things reduces that 50 employee limit.
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Jun 6, 2023 22:37
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Pham Nuwen posted:Unless you're in California, where the FMLA is superceded by the CFRA, which among other things reduces that 50 employee limit. other states have laws like this too - MA has paid family medical leave for everyone universally
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Jun 6, 2023 23:21
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Mad Wack posted:other states have laws like this too - MA has paid family medical leave for everyone universally And it's wonderful.
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Jun 6, 2023 23:37
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Scam Likely posted:We're 37 weeks out and just got a GBS test result that reads "carrier" and aren't sure what it means. We're of course asking our doctor and doula but they're being unusually slow to respond and my wife is really stressing out. Based on my readings even if it's positive we'll be fine, but what the hell does "carrier" mean? Isn't everyone a carrier of strep? FWIW we got that last week (currently 38 weeks 5 days now) and same deal as others stated- IV drip 4 hours before labor I believe they said. Our provider also said this is not uncommon, cited the 1 in 4ish metric, and said medicine has come a long way and the IV antibiotics/treatment reduces the likelihood of complications to an extremely low level, not to be concerned, google always gives you the absolute worst case scenario, etc. etc. Sucks to be nervous about it, but we're trying to stay positive. The wife is starting to have what she has described as period cramps down near her pubic bone and lower back pain which sound like they're typically associated with cervical dilation, so that's exciting  Not for her, of course  I always feel bad celebrating getting closer when it results in her going through poo poo  EVG posted:I'm assuming that working for a company with less than 50 employees I'm SOL re: FMLA? Responded in PM to keep the thread clear, but if you don't have PM's just let me know and I'll post it here! TheKevman fucked around with this message at 09:17 on Jun 9, 2023 |
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Jun 9, 2023 09:13
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TheKevman posted:The wife is starting to have what she has described as period cramps down near her pubic bone and lower back pain which sound like they're typically associated with cervical dilation, so that's exciting m'wife spent over a week at 4cm dilation so you might not want to put your shoes on just yet
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Jun 9, 2023 20:05
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Pham Nuwen posted:m'wife spent over a week at 4cm dilation so you might not want to put your shoes on just yet Oooof lol Her provider offered the membrane sweep if she was interested and she said yes for Wednesdays 39wk appt, we'll see how that goes.
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Jun 10, 2023 09:23
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39 weeks to the day tomorrow and the wife has reached peak miserable-ness (so far, anyways ) With a pretty smooth physical pregnancy overall (other than work-induced stress  ) she's been pretty good. I think that being a former swimmer has really helped her cardiovascular endurance and blood pressure- other than the instances where she had some really crappy days at work, her BP has consistently been exactly around what it typically was pre-pregnancy: around 115/68 with around a 60 pulse. Right now, she's got what she describes as period cramps, lower back pain that comes and goes throughout the day, and horrendous heartburn which we think originated from a midnight snack last night. I'm giving her a pedicure this evening in prep for the big day, which hopefully comes this week- for her sake primarily but also mine  !
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Jun 12, 2023 05:59
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It's winter here in the southern hemisphere, I'm at 35 weeks now, and my feet swole up overnight so much none of my shoes will fit me anymore. FML (my feet are cold  ).
froglet fucked around with this message at 16:09 on Jun 13, 2023 |
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Jun 13, 2023 02:55
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Wife got the membrane sweep performed earlier this morning, all the vitals and measurements look great. Cervix was dilated at between 1-2cm, measured 39cm on the stomach measurement, and the physician said the baby is right there and ready to go! So is the wife
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Jun 15, 2023 08:21
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TheKevman posted:Wife got the membrane sweep performed earlier this morning, all the vitals and measurements look great. This poo poo is the worst, lol. Appointment tomorrow morning, can't wait for her to finally give birth!
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Jun 20, 2023 23:31
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TheKevman posted:This poo poo is the worst, lol. I went to 42 weeks before I caved and went in for an induction.
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Jun 22, 2023 02:19
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femcastra posted:I went to 42 weeks before I caved and went in for an induction. My brother was born at 44 weeks and my sister was born at 43. It took me a really long time to figure out why my mom always referred to me as "so small and underdeveloped" when I was born at "only" 39 weeks. Thanks mom! I'm at 36 weeks and about 90% certain that baby no2 is breech just like her big sister, which represents a very unlikely occurrence (4% for breech kid 1 and 10% for breech kid 2 conditioned on already having had a breech kid). The plan is to go in for a first attempt at an external version (where baby gets manually rotated from the exterior into a more favorable cephalic presentation) at 37 weeks, followed by a second attempt at 39 weeks if that fails. I'm a good candidate for the procedure but poo poo sucks why I gotta have bat baby?
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Jun 22, 2023 03:31
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I went in for a routine checkup on Tuesday, got sent to fetal monitoring for a bit, then was told to forget about going back to work in the afternoon, coz I'd be sleeping at the hospital that night. Turns out the "feet swelling up overnight" thing isn't just a normal pregnancy thing, it's an indication of pre-eclampsia. Anyway, tomorrow I hit 37 weeks, and they'll start the eviction process for the little bludger on Thursday. This... Is really not how I hoped things would go, but it sure beats dying! That and these past few weeks I've felt quite rubbish, and I've been reassured all of that will go away once the wee lad has been turfed out of me.  ... I feel woefully unprepared 
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Jun 22, 2023 12:52
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Good luck with the version and the induction! Pre-e is no joke, glad they caught it. I went in for an NST at 34 weeks and at my regular appointment the next day baby had flipped breech. By my 36 week appointment she'd flipped back. Went to L&D for another NST last Thursday evening and they did an ultrasound to check fluid levels. Those were good, but the doctor doing the scan just casually said "so has baby always been breech?" By my 38 week appointment this past Monday she'd flipped herself head down again. I don't know where she's getting the room. 38+4 today and I get to see my midwife for one last position check before Monday's induction. I haven't really been able to tell when she's flipping, but based on some of the movement I was feeling yesterday I have a bad feeling about what the little contortionist has been up to.
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Jun 22, 2023 13:15
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froglet posted:I went in for a routine checkup on Tuesday, got sent to fetal monitoring for a bit, then was told to forget about going back to work in the afternoon, coz I'd be sleeping at the hospital that night. This is almost exactly what happened to me (admitted to the hospital a day before 37 weeks with preeclampsia, started induction); don't let yourself worry too much, you're gonna do great!! We felt 100% caught off guard and unprepared, but he's our first and I think we still would've felt like that even if he didn't come out early. A lot of things will just start falling into place as soon as the lil baby pops out.
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Jun 22, 2023 13:54
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Jackson is finally here. 8lbs 3oz 20 inches long and stunningly handsome. Honestly, best day of my life. loving incredible A++ would baby again (hopefully wife agrees!)
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Jun 23, 2023 11:24
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TheKevman posted:Jackson is finally here. 8lbs 3oz 20 inches long and stunningly handsome. Yay! Congratulations!!
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Jun 23, 2023 16:21
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remigious posted:Yay! Congratulations!! Thanks! The emotions of yesterday were unreal. I just want to write this as a support or encouragement post to anyone who has had a miscarriage or multiple miscarriages. We suffered 2 over the course of last year and 3rd time was clearly the charm. It was the toughest year of our lives, but we're here and mom and baby are happy, healthy, and amazing. Just because you have had one or more miscarriages DOES NOT MEAN YOU ARE BROKEN. Everyone works differently. My wife and I are so happy right now and all the pain and anguish were worth the end result. We send all of our love to all of you, and we believe in each and everyone of you!!
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Jun 23, 2023 18:51
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Congratulations, guy. Really glad y'all are doing well. 
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Jun 23, 2023 18:58
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Congratulations!
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Jun 23, 2023 19:19
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TheKevman posted:Thanks! Amen, amen. And congrats! A new soul to brighten the world.
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Jun 23, 2023 21:02
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Congratulations!
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Jun 23, 2023 21:11
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Congratulations! Make sure to record as much of these early days as possible, my two videos of my newborn daughter have possibly been my most rewatched videos I own. I found out recently how little my partner and I actually remember of the first few months - it's uh, impressive how much your brain just does not work. Such a huge moment in your life and so much change, hold on to what you can!
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Jun 23, 2023 23:42
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