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My wife and I are in the hospital right now, with a beautiful new 2 day old girl, and I wanted to post in here as an introduction since I'm sure I'll be asking plenty of questions. This post may ramble a bit. Our girl is huge - 11 lbs, 5.4oz. She was delivered at 10pm via C-section after 12 hours of unproductive labor. She's being watched for jaundice right now, and having some tests run as I type this. My wife is recovering from surgery, and has been pretty limited to breast feeding and comforting our girl and letting her sleep with her. I've been doing the diaper duty and earlier today I had my first muconium explosion to deal with. I panicked and had to call a nurse because it quickly got all over her crib. I'm super scared of being a parent because I'm worried how much things are going to change. Our lives have been so self-serving for the whole of our nine year relationship. The idea of everything changing is pretty scary. I'm also just generally afraid of being incompetent. Other people it seems have the whole parenting thing under control - they just know what to do. I'm worried I'll constantly fumble through the whole thing. I've gotten about six hours of sleep in the last two days, which our doctor jokingly chided me for complaining about. I can't even imagine getting a full night's sleep but I look forward to it someday. I think I really just need a pep talk. me your dad fucked around with this message at 13:05 on Dec 16, 2011 |
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Dec 16, 2011 06:34
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| # ¿ Apr 29, 2024 10:26 |
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Our baby is 8 days old now and both my wife and I are utterly miserable. We're both having crying jags on a near-daily basis and I feel very hopeless that things are going to get better. I feel a huge loss from the freedom we enjoyed before, even if that freedom meant just quietly relaxing at home. Somehow I don't resent the baby but I am worried we made a huge mistake in deciding on doing this. Our lives were great and now I feel like everything is ruined. I feel like I'm grieving. I also feel like we're on house arrest because we don't want the baby to get sick before the six week mark. So we're trapped in our house, which suddenly seems too small, and our car suddenly seems too small, and I'm having trouble coping with everything. People say, "Get out of the house - let your spouse get out of the house." My wife told me today to go have a beer with a friend but I'm afraid to leave my wife alone because I'll probably feel guilty about burdening her with the baby. And we can't go out together because we're waiting for that six week period to pass. And she can't go out by herself because the doctor told her not to drive because she's recovering from a C-Section and on Percoset. I just don't know how this is going to get better. We went to the pediatrician today, and I let her know we were having a lot of trouble coping. I started crying in the office and she recommended I speak to a doctor. But I'm worried it would be a fix for something which might resolve itself in a couple weeks when I hopefully adjust to this change. I took her upstairs a moment ago to change her and I couldn't stop thinking, "What the gently caress were we thinking? What the gently caress were we thinking? How the gently caress could we have thought this was a good idea?" I hate it that I feel this way. I really expected this to feel different.
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Dec 21, 2011 20:20
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Chickalicious posted:Why are you waiting to leave the house for 6 weeks? Is your baby medically fragile due to complications or something? My husband was home with me for 5 weeks post-partum, and we went somewhere every day. A trip to Target, a doctor's appointment, a local parade, you name, we were looking for ways to get out. We would have gone mad if we just stayed in the house looking at each other for a month. No the baby is totally healthy. It's just been drilled into our heads that if we step outside and this baby catches any kind of illness, it'll mean an instant trip to the ER for spinal taps and all other sorts of awful poo poo. We're afraid to visit friends and afraid to go to the store. It's funny too that you mention Target because our doctor today said we should avoid places like Target where tons of people are. My wife wants to go to a local baby clothes store and we were talking about how she could run in and I would wait in the car with the baby.
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Dec 21, 2011 20:41
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Thank you all. It's reassuring to know we won't wind up in the ER by opening our front door. Being trapped in the house is a big part of the frustration we are feeling. My wife is on the phone right now with a friend, but once she's done with the conversation I'm going to relay what I've been told here so maybe we can get out and enjoy some time out of the house.
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Dec 21, 2011 21:03
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Thanks all for the advice. It's been incredibly helpful! We're about to head into town to go a park near the river and have lunch. It's sunny and near 60 degrees in our area, which is unseasonably warm, so we're taking advantage of it. And talk about crazy mood swings! Yesterday my wife came home from talking to our neighbor, who has a six month old at home. After her talk she came home and said to me, "Let's turn over a new leaf". It sparked something in me, and I realized we've been mourning our past lives when we should be celebrating what we now have. I spent the last eight days ignoring our new life, and missing out on the first week of our daughter's life. That's awful, and I'm not going to let it continue. Yes, some nights have been lovely due to lack of sleep. Yes, we're going to have to take a break from some of the things we once enjoyed. But sleep will return, and so will the activities we are now suspending while we can make sure our new daughter's introduction into the world is one with love, and not loss. And once those activities do return, it will be a lot of fun to share these things with our new girl.
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Dec 22, 2011 18:54
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| # ¿ Apr 29, 2024 10:26 |
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Bodnoirbabe posted:I'm really glad you're looking at this from a better perspective and taking steps to get out of the house, but please, still talk to a licensed professional. You're initial post sounded a lot like post partum depression. That poo poo is not something to be taken lightly. Just want to make sure you're truly going to be okay (which you will be!). Thanks. Both my wife and I have agreed, that if these feelings persist, we will seek out professional help. Today was a great day. We packed up the car and headed into town and picked up sandwiches and ate lunch on a bench near the river with the baby. After that we made quick trips to a couple stores (with one of us waiting in the car with baby - it is flu season and stores are packed for the holidays). My wife even managed to change a dirty diaper in the car - another big deal to us! Those few hours away from the house did us wonders, and I'm thankful for the advice dispensed in this thread. We will try to take advantage of any nice day for the rest of the winter and get out for more time out of the house. Here's a picture of our girl   (ugly fabrics courtesy of the hospital)
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Dec 23, 2011 03:49
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