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randomfuss
Dec 30, 2006


At 37w, I had an estimated weight of 2.6 kg by ultrasound and 2.8 kg by external examination. Baby turned out to be 2.85 kg.

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randomfuss
Dec 30, 2006


Banana Cat posted:

Did anyone else have to deal with someone finding out about your pregnancy before you were ready to announce it?

Yes. 3 friends before 8 weeks, boss at 9 weeks. The friends, I was OK with. My boss, I told him to gently caress off (he deserved it as he had been an rear end for the previous 4 weeks). I still have my job.

It wasn't the nausea (had none of that), or the avoidance of the booze, but the fact that I was freakin' showing. By week 12 I had put on 15 lbs so indeed I was pretty chubbier (my total was 40 lbs, I lost it all but 3 lbs in 6 weeks post-partum with no diet, so there's hope).

randomfuss
Dec 30, 2006


MarshallX, you may need to bring in a mediator. Some midwives do this (mine would have but the MIL doesn't speak our language). It's really good to have somebody neutral who knows what is happening to you as a family (= you, your wife, and your baby, 'cause that's your family, now).

Next time I am having MIL issues, I am willing to pay good money for a mediator.

randomfuss
Dec 30, 2006


A Serious Woman posted:

So what do you guys do to keep your kids entertained? Zoey's just over six weeks old and I'm at a loss as to what to do to keep her interested. I show her black and white baby stimulation images, play with her on her play mat (it has musical toys, dangly things, etc.), sing to her, talk to her, read to her, carry her around to let her see the happenings of the house (I'd do more of this if my back wasn't shot), let her sit in her chair that has dangly things that I'm teaching her to hit, etc. The problem is that no matter what we do, she gets bored within 10 minutes, starts crying and then wants to do something else. I'd be happy to do whatever I can to keep her content but I feel like my usual bag of tricks is coming up short. Any suggestions?

For me a 6 weeks it was more about what to do to keep him from crying from tummy pain! Now (nearly 3mo) we do the entertainment thing, but no more than 15 minutes at the time, because then baby either falls asleep or gets nervous or pukes. He likes his hands a lot, and that seems to keep him entertained better than me doing stuff with him. Maybe he has some troubles, but really, we do not need to keep him entertained a lot.

What we do:
- from 1 mo: tummy time on the playing carpet (but no toys on it)
- play watch the object
- play squish the object
- paint with a bright pencil on a sheet of paper in front of him
- give him stuff to grab, even if he still sucks at it
- talk and read to him (he can stand up to 30 minutes of that)

There are dangly things over his crib and stroller but I don't think he cares. His hands and his clothes are much more interesting. When we go out, he falls asleep, and when he is awake he shows no interest about what's going on around him. He sometimes looks at people's faces, or green objects. Oh man from what I write it looks like my baby is retarded.

randomfuss
Dec 30, 2006


MoCookies posted:

The stories from this thread have really cemented it for me that I don't want any family at my house for at least the first 2 weeks after I have my baby. (They all live 2000+ miles away, but our moms are dying to come 'help' for a few weeks.) It sounds so loving stressful; no amount of cooking, cleaning, and doing laundry is going to mitigate the fact that people are milling about in my house when I just need peace and quiet and a goddamn nap. I'm wondering if maybe I'll feel differently as the birth gets closer, or is it time to start perfecting the "no you can't come until December" conversation?

At least they will help with chores instead of "being there for baby". Or that's what you think now. But if you're stressed out just by the idea of having them over, it can only get worse.

I made the mistake to accept the MIL for my 1st born. 2nd one is not even baking and I am already perfecting my conversation for eventual number 2.

It may be the fact that the MIL came "for the baby and for his son, not for catering the parents" (which translated in "trying to steal my husband and my baby and bitch about me not cleaning well enough), but it may also be the fact that I am a very independent person (thats's what my OB/GYN said when advising me next time no relatives, but I think I am just an antisocial bitch).

randomfuss
Dec 30, 2006


LuckyDaemon posted:

All of this "one drink will make your baby retarded" stuff is pretty unique to this country!

And France. I had a Frog yell at me because I had a sip of white wine in front of him. I just answered that I am not taking medical advice from someone coming from a Country of pill-poppers (French are the champions in anti-depressant and antibiotics consumption).

BTW I had a wine-tasting trip, and I drank two beers on a Friday plus one evening I had cognac before knowing I was pregnant. I told my OB/GYN and she answered that a little booze early on may just make a happier baby as long as I don't worry too much and I stop the parties . And she was right! I have a happy baby!

I had the occasional sip of good wine, and everything went fine.

randomfuss
Dec 30, 2006


I lost my father when I was 7 months pregnant. I was in hell just for a couple of months and I think that now I have no soul anymore as I had no PPD at all.

randomfuss
Dec 30, 2006


Janelle posted:

Question for breastfeeding moms: I just had my baby 9 days ago. The lactation consultant told me to not start pumping until 2 weeks in. When I do, what is the best way to build a stock pile of frozen milk without hurting the supply and what he is getting? Thanks in advance!

My LC said to pump 1.5 / 2hrs after the first feeding in the morning (but I had to wait 4 weeks because I had oversupply issues). I only ever tried the manual pump, since it works well enough.

randomfuss
Dec 30, 2006


I usa a changing pad on a table. I have back problems but changing tables are too high for me cuz I am short.

randomfuss
Dec 30, 2006


Awesome Kristin posted:

I'm supposed to be 10 weeks today going by my last missed period. I had my ultrasound today and they measured the uterus and it's only the size of a 6 week pregnancy. They didn't really have any answers and I have to wait over the weekend to hear from the OB. I guess they're going to do some bloodwork or something to measure how far along I am chemically? I'm not sure.

Is it likely that this pregnancy could have been 4 weeks off, or more likely that it stopped growing? Would my body notice it dying? I'm confused.

At 8 weeks my embrio was the size of a 6 week (and my OB told me nothing on the spot not to have me worry, she even gave me pictures of the ultrasound... she just told me later that she was a little bit worried), and now I have a baby who would eat your soul if it came pureed on a spoon. He's been pretty average (sizewise) since week 13 LMP.

randomfuss
Dec 30, 2006


vanessa posted:

I've been reading the NPR baby project blog and this entry shows how one was used as a diagnostic tool based on something that happened in her previous pregnancy.

My baby had this (cleft lip) checked with a standard 2D ultrasound (among other stuff, and it is standard procedure here). However, the OB went a bit 3D to look for spinal cord defects. I guess we could have asked for a 3D of the face, but I am one of those who get creeped out by the 3D pictures.

randomfuss
Dec 30, 2006


OneSizeFitsAll posted:

Thanks for the replies on the smoking thing. I agree that the idea of people not smoking at all that day (I am an ex-smoker myself and know how difficult that would be), or changing completely and showering is over the top. I think I read myself into an OCD state that day. I am going to stick to the guidelines my midwife gave me.

However on a general point I would be wary of dismissal based on personal experience. Second-hand smoke not affecting someone is not really an indication of the overall potential harm of third-hand smoke. Some people live to over a hundred subjecting themselves to first-hand smoke every day and end up dying of something unrelated, but obviously doing that is decidedly generally inadvisable from a health point of view.

When I was at the hospital, a heavy smoker friend came to visit me 5 days after my son was born (I had a C-sec and some badass complications). Of course, she did not smoke in the hospital (and did not touch the baby), but just the smell made me sick and I first asked the midwives to take the baby away for changing, which was a code for delay kick everybody out of the room.

Edit: what about perfume? MIL wears perfume all the time and I read it's bad for babies. When I told her not to she said "but I am NOT wearing perfume", but the level of her 3 bottles going visibly down from one day to another said otherwise (or, she was drinking it to get high). Oh and she also uses lots of smelly cream and soap, even my husband acknowledged the fact that after she uses the bathroom, it is poisonous for 2hrs.

randomfuss fucked around with this message at 19:07 on Dec 17, 2011

randomfuss
Dec 30, 2006


netally posted:



Baby bouncer chair, possibly with vibrations / lights / sounds

Saved my sanity. I have one that swings and vibrates and emits sounds (did not use the sound part too much).

randomfuss
Dec 30, 2006


Hello, I am pregnant again! My son is 13 months now, and I am at 13w. With my 1st, I started showing at 9 weeks (according to my colleagues who complimented me out of the blue). Of course I show now, but I changed teams and now I am actively hiding my pregnancy. Do you have any advice on how to keep this up at least until the end of the month (2 more weeks...)?

My activities involve talking to people, holding meetings and participating to events involving alcohol (I managed to keep off booze with random excuses). The booze is a weekly tradition because we are crazy europeans who like beer.

My husband thinks my colleagues are blind. None of them seems to suspect a thing.

randomfuss
Dec 30, 2006


Bodnoirbabe posted:

Those who had c-sections, what's the recovery time like? I'm getting my stitches out on Thursday, but I was wondering about how long it takes for everything to start to feel normal again. Like the coughing and laughing thing.

Right now, I can't sleep on my sides because my stomach feels weirdly heavy when I do, plus the incision burns when I turn certain ways, but I think that's the stitches pulling. I hope. I also was looking forward to sleeping on my stomach but haven't even attempted that out of fear of the stitches.

How long until your incision healed completely?

Also, did you notice your postpartum bleeding was lighter than everyone said it would be. I would say mine is very light, not like a regular period even. It's more than spotting, but less than the first days of a normal period.

I had to completely stop the painkillers 3 days after delivery (yes when you turn and it hurts it is the stitches pulling), and 10 days after the delivery I had no pain doing normal activities (laugh, walk, sleep on my side, poop). Had the order of not lifting more than my baby for 6 weeks.

As for the visual aspect of the scar, it's just a purplish line, no bumps, but I was told by a midwife that my doctor did an exceptional work there. I massaged it for a couple of months with some oil that smells like roses. If I test the scar really carefully I can tell it could be a little numb, but maybe it's my brain playing tricks on me.

Post-partum bleeding was heavy the 1st day, then lighter than a period (but I used to have clotty messy periods).

randomfuss
Dec 30, 2006


Bodnoirbabe posted:

So breastfeeding can stop the period from coming back, but does that mean we don't have to practice birth control? We don't want to have another kid for at least a year to make sure I'm fully healed up.

Breastfeeding as a form of birth control, that's how I got pregnant the 2nd time :haw:

Had a c-section with my first, they'll have 18 month of age difference, VBAC may not be an option, but my OB/GYN wants to wait until the end to tell. I know 2 ladies who had a first c-sec, and then 15 months later another baby, 2nd c-sec, everything's fine.

I think the major issue is caring for a toddler while having morning sickness. Poopy smelly diaper? Blearchhhh!

randomfuss
Dec 30, 2006


You can try spraying some vinegar on the doorstep, that should prevent the cats from entering the room (works with most cats).

Btw some advice on how to introduce the baby to the dogs so that they understand the position of the newcomer in the home:

Before baby arrives:
- teach the dogs that it is not OK to go to the baby's sleeping room starting from now.
- gradually reduce the attention you give to the dogs, so that it is not abrupt with the baby's arrival. Do not shoo the dogs away, just do as if you were really busy.
- have the dog smell the baby's odor before the baby comes home (baby blanket, baby dirty diaper - closed). Do not leave anything with the baby's smell in the dogs' designated territory

When the baby comes home
- do not bring him or her to the dogs to introduce him or her, let the dogs do their first move
- of course do not put the baby in the dogs' designated territory (they may think of him or her as an intruder or a toy)
- when you are with the baby, give your attention to the dog, especially if you're holding the baby (the fact that the baby is physically higher when you address the dog gives the dog the sense of hierarchy). Ignore the dog more when the baby is not around.

Dogs can be unpredictable, I sometimes hear horrible stories about (previously known as "friendly") dogs eating toddlers' faces. Do not leave the baby unattended with the dogs in the same room.

randomfuss
Dec 30, 2006


Alterian posted:

grandmas-to-be issues

Hey at least you can have a conversation with your mother!

I have a similar problem, sometimes my mother says "You'll be happy when I'm dead" but I don't have the balls to answer "prove it", and says that for her life was so hard and I am ungrateful for not willing her over for the birth.

I tried to go to therapy when my father died to check I was doing OK and the therapist said to take my distance from my mother, that my job is now to be a good mother, not a "good daughter" by complying to my mother tantrums (which is bad -- you don't comply to your toddler's tantrums, why should you comply to your mother's?). Then he said I don't need therapy but I can call him if I need something.

With my last pregnancy, I had pre-eclampsia, and for this one, my doctor explicitly ordered no grandmas at home and stated that if any was to come, she would hospitalize me. So I just told that verbatim to my mother. And I told her that she'll come when I invite her for as long as I want, and no drama (but hoping for no drama is like hoping for rainbow-making GBS threads unicorns). I try to give her hints on how to behave not to stress me (or generally, not to piss people off), but she really can't shut up and sometimes she burst in a waterfall of insults and useless criticism. And then she wonders why people do not like her.

Good luck with that. I don't expect to have peace with my mother since she won't seek for help despite her obvious psychological problems and distorted view of the world (apparently everybody hates her because they're all evil people and they just want to hurt us and manipulate us).

Grandmas are a pain here too (both of them). Me and my husband are both only childs, but our mothers claim to be experts in baby handling. This time, grandpa is coming. At least he knows nothing about handling a baby and will leave that to me. And won't stare at me while I'm breastfeeding (because omg boobs), and will help with the house without criticizing.

BTW, I am in the hospital now with some mystery fever at 36w. I am so not telling my mother.

randomfuss
Dec 30, 2006


Ok You're freaking me out with the flu vaccine.

Of course here we're all vaccinated against pertussis (not mandatory but schools gets tricky if your kid is not... Like randomly sent home at any outbreak scare and quarantined).

But the flu: when I was pregnant with my 1st we had billboards saying YOU MUST VACCINATE, so I asked my OB/GYN when should I. She said:
"You're not old, athsmatic or have any health problems. I am the first doctor you see in 5y, and how did you cure your last flu?"
Me: "booze" (it was 7y ago)
So she said no shot for me, just prevention and no booze if I get sick.

I asked for a 2nd advice but doctors seemed really not interested in vaccinating pregnant me against the flu. I do have a doctor waiting to inject me with the MMR vaccine since my "R" immunity is borderline, so they're not crazy anti-vaxxers here.

Oh it's Europe.

randomfuss
Dec 30, 2006


I can't swallow the horse pills. So I just went to the pharmacy with a list of what I ate the previous week and I was given iron+calcium+magnesium on my first pregnancy. With my second, I already had a prescription for magnesium so I got sent home with the advice "eat cheese at 4PM". And I was taking folic acid, of course. So well, it depends on what you eat. I usually had smoked fish for breakfast so I guess DHA was not an issue.

randomfuss
Dec 30, 2006


Ceridwen posted:

There is no way an age discrepancy that large would have been missed on a first trimester ultrasound

Yes there is. I had several early ultrasounds and a discrepancy of a couple of weeks (baby came out "early"). The way they calculate the due date is based on statistics, so there is a variance and also rare events. I tried to ask my doc about the details but she ain't no statistician.

randomfuss
Dec 30, 2006


Twatty Seahag posted:

I puked once during pregnancy, and it was from a stinky guy with alcohol breath covered by toothpaste smell. Strong smells made me dry heave sometimes too.

I missed my MIL's face by a couple of seconds. I told her not to wear perfume, but she didn't want to change her habits just to make me happy (she said that). She opened the door of the room she'd been spending a couple of hours in an I had to run and puke.

Funny thing is that puking from strong smells would leave me sick for half a day. Did not have too bad morning sickness other than that, the puke and go (and then I was fine), and the lingering nausea (slight nausea that I would forget in a couple of hours, except at boring meetings).

randomfuss
Dec 30, 2006


With my first at 9 weeks one of my friends congratulated me... at 10 my boss did. It was summer, I am slim and gained 12 lbs the first 2 months.

With my second, it was winter and I wanted to hide it from my colleagues but one of them saw it before 12 weeks and kept it to himself. I had to tell around 16 weeks because spring was coming, could not hide in hoodies for long, and I was managing a big project, thus needed to make arrangements for someone else to take the lead (but not too early because then I could be kicked out of it).

randomfuss
Dec 30, 2006


Clip My Wings posted:

Did anyone else get terribly sick early on in their pregnancy? I just tested on Saturday & found out I'm pregnant (right around 5 weeks). I've been sick since Thursday with a really bad cold and occasional low grade fever. I'm thinking I should head to the doctor tomorrow before work just to make sure that I'm ok. I do feel like I'm improving, but I'm just really anxious about being sick now.

I spent the 1st 3 months of my 2nd pregnancy with a neverending cold: slight fever, pain all over, no voice, Niagara nose, a couple of days of break, repeat. Mentioned it to my doc, who said not to worry and I could take Tylenol. I am usually healthy, so colleagues were wondering if I had some immunity problem.

randomfuss
Dec 30, 2006


Hello thread, I need some advice from random internet strangers.

I am due in June and it's our third kid. We don't have any family nearby, which means that if we want family's help (which we will), we have to host them for one month (to make the trip worth to them, and because birth has been unpredictable for the first two). We have a big house, so that's OK. Now, we have 3 choices:

1) my mother
Advantages: usually happily cooks and cleans, goes shopping for us.
Disadvantages: often throws tantrums, sometimes threatens to commit suicide, sometimes won't talk to me for days after throwing tantrums. She's controlling and wants things done her way (including our kids' education).

2) my MIL
Advantages: is a neat freak, cleans, mends the kids' clothes and takes the kids out for walks, does activities with them.
Disadvantages: after cleaning, bitches that I did not do it. Cannot cook. Thinks that having had one kid 40 years ago makes her the expert on babies. Made me clean all the house when I was 9mo pregnant with my 1st bitching all the times I laid down, until I was admitted to the hospital because of pre-eclampsia. Won't do a thing just to make me happy because she's there for the children, not for me (she said it). We cannot communicate since she only speaks her native tongue, which I do not master. Does not leave the house in fear of people trying to talk to her.

3) my FIL
Advantages: cleans, doesn't know anything about babies or toddlers, so he follows our instructions and he does pretty well. We communicate in broken German which I find amusing.
Disadvantages: can't cook. Since he's used to canned food, he thinks that food can be ready within 15 minutes he says he's hungry.

So, which one do I pick and what do I do to overcome the disadvantages? They come one at the time (my father died 1mo before my first was born, MIL and FIL are divorced).

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randomfuss
Dec 30, 2006


If I choose none of the above, then it defaults to my mom, who's able to get to my house by her own means and will if she discovers that no one else from *family* is here. We're new in the area, so no friends around really. No other family that the 3 mentioned.

The main problem is that we need someone over for when my husband needs to drive me to the hospital (40min away) and when he's alone with the kids as he has a job and cannot take days off. We both work part-time and he has a strict schedule. We have daycare for the days we both work. I'll have 3 months maternity leave and I plan to keep the daycare for the 3 months.

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