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Bodnoirbabe
Apr 30, 2007



bamzilla posted:

We plan on using either Eleanor or Evelyn if we end up with another girl. I have no idea why Eleanor is super popular now, but we have an old family friend that was one of the most amazing people I'd ever met. :colbert:

Uh oh. I've said for years now I'm going to use Eleanor because I'm a huge Beatles fan and love old fashion names. But I see this popping up more and more and I don't want a kid who's name is in the top 50. Would I be a bad person if I named her Prudence?

Also, my husband loves the name Athena. What say you guys?

Also also, Hi everyone! I'm new to this thread. I'm 7 weeks along with my first kid. Already had an ultrasound and everything. Due date is 02/17/11. Also, I found out today my sister is 8 weeks pregnant with her second. WOW! Kind of cool!

Bodnoirbabe fucked around with this message at 09:06 on Jul 4, 2011

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Bodnoirbabe
Apr 30, 2007



Fire In The Disco posted:

You could use Rita or Penny or Lucy or Joan (that one might be stretching it). And congratulations!

Rita is his mother's name and penny is my step mothers name. Ha! The others are so...boring.

I don't know. I've got a long way to go to figure it out though. Although I'm fairly confidant if it's a boy, he'll be named Maxwell.

So far I think I've been fairly lucky. Not the worst first trimester, if others horror stories are to be believed. The biggest problem I have is heartburn. Last week it was ridiculously bad, causing me to skip work. But I think it's due to my having gone off Prilosec cold turkey and switching to Tums. The tums work just fine now, and I've only thrown up once. I'm extremely tired though. But no insomnia and no headaches.

Is it too early to switch to a maternity bra? My breasts, when no in bra feel just fine, a bit tender, but nothing horrible. I'd say less than even PMS. But if I've been wearing a normal under wire bra all day, by the end they are killing me at the slightest touch!

This whole thing I find fascinating from a clinical stand point. I'm not in awe at the majesty of the female body. More, everything I read or hear about I just think "Cool!". I wouldn't say that' I'm ambivalent about the pregnancy, because I'm definitely excited, but I am more interested in the science behind it all. Dividing cells and poo poo.

Bodnoirbabe
Apr 30, 2007



Had a scare today. Still kind of worried. I started spotting. It was brown spotting but I noticed it when I went to the bathroom. Called my doctor and they told me to go to the hospital. I'm 8.5 weeks along. So to the ER I went.

They checked me in, took blood and did a vaginal ultrasound. Then they made us wait for about 4 hours before they finally told us everything looked fine, but I do have a small UTI. Gave me antibiotics and sent me home on bed rest.

The spotting is still there, although it's still brown. I have an appointment with my OB tomorrow, so we'll see what he says, but I just don't feel safe yet. I feel like I'm still in the thick of the woods and poo poo could happen at anytime.

I am a high risk pregnancy due to my weight, but I've been following everything the doctor has been telling me to do. I'm scared and every little twinge I feel in my stomach makes me even more nervous. No serious cramping or anything, but my abdomen feels tight and I'm getting little pings of pain. I think that's the UTI, but who can be sure until things clear up. THIS SUCKS!

Anyone else have experience with bleeding and were you okay? They said it was just "incidental" bleeding. Everything I've read says about 30% of pregnancies spot at one time or another, but I need some reassurance from people who've actually gone through it.

Bodnoirbabe
Apr 30, 2007



So irritated right now! What kind of doctors office doesn't know how to fill out FMLA paperwork for pregnancy?! Anyone else have trouble getting it filled out?

For non-US goons, it's the Federal Medical Leave Act. Basically it says that if a person has to call out due to a medical sickness, they can't be fired. You get up to 12 weeks in one year for it. It's non-paid, but it protects your job. There is an entire section specifically for pregnancy and intermittent leave. So if I had to say, miss work due to going to the hospital for spotting, they can't fire me.


Ben Davis posted:

I wrote about mine on the last page--if it was a tear, they'd definitely have seen it on the ultrasound! Mine was a GUSH of red, and baby was still okay. We're getting an ultrasound in 3 hours to check on our progress, but no red blood since then makes me think that things have started to heal. Of course any spotting makes you freak out, and I totally get what you're saying about every twinge being scary now.

Thanks for this. I know I'm probably worried over nothing. The doctor today said it's most likely due to the placenta coming down to rest on my cervix. He says it's fairly common for it to do that at this time of the pregnancy and some women bleed from it. Having said that though, he wanted me to take two weeks off work for rest. Aye yi yi! That's a lot of missed money if I do that!

Bodnoirbabe fucked around with this message at 20:51 on Jul 13, 2011

Bodnoirbabe
Apr 30, 2007



Dr. Octagon posted:

I had brown spotting right around 9 weeks too, probably less than a teaspoon of blood total over two days. I still freaked out, and my OB had me come in for my dating ultrasound/pap smear a week early. The doctor didn't seem worried, he said that the as the embryo grows, it can shift away from the wall of the uterus and release some old blood trapped there. I think it could have been either from sex or a prenatal pilates routine I'd never done before. The ultrasound showed a little wiggly embryo, and I'm now 27.5 weeks along with a healthy boy.

I totally understand where you're coming from, there are so many new sensations that accompany pregnancy. You read things like "don't worry if you spot as long as there's no cramping," and then you're wondering if every twinge of your expanding uterus is a cramp. And then some miscarriages happen with no spotting or cramping at all. I distinctly remember feeling... different abdominal sensations in early pregnancy, but it makes sense - there's a lot of activity going on in there right now! My policy was to just assume it's par for the course unless there was any serious pain. I do still check for blood every time I pee, though, but I am paranoid and will probably do that for the duration. Try not to worry too much :)

Thank you. You've made me feel tons better. Especially about the little twinges and wondering if that's cramping! I'm happy to report the spotting seems to be going away!

Fire In The Disco posted:

Speaking of FMLA, I feel obliged to mention that FMLA isn't available for every single US employee. I know for a fact that the company for which you work has to have 50 or more employees for FMLA to kick in. My sister-in-law is dealing with insanity around that right now. What a clusterfuck. She is a teacher at a charter school with like 10 employees. She is due at the end of this month and school starts again in mid-August. They offer absolutely zero leave. Because she's the breadwinner in her family, she might have to be back at work as little as a week or two after her baby is born.

That's really lovely. I can't believe they don't offer anything. So wrong! I hope things work out for her.

I have a question about those who are breastfeeding and are going to do child centered weening. What if the child doesn't want to ween? What if they turn three? Four? Five? and they still don't want to ween? I know it's not that common, but maybe that's because the mother eventually force weened, but what there are cases of people still breast feeding later in age. There's a documentary about it and everything.

Do you really mean you're just going to keep on going regardless of age? I plan on breastfeeding and I'd like to do child guided weening, but I'm worried they wont want to ween!

Bodnoirbabe
Apr 30, 2007



That makes sense about it being a relationship and stuff. I hope I didn't come off as being judgmental, I was just honestly curious. Thanks for the links, Starshine. I'll give them a read.

Bodnoirbabe
Apr 30, 2007



Number19 posted:

Has anyone done an elective 3D ultrasound? My wife really wants to do one but I'm of the mindset that any extra procedures should be avoided, no matter how low risk it might be. Our doctor agrees with me but my wife really wants to see her now. My reminders that she'll have the rest of her life to see her are about all I've got right now.

The cost is not really an issue for us. It's mostly just as I stated: it's an extra ultrasound that isn't for diagnostic reasons, just for "fun."

My sister had this done and I know several co-workers who did this. I hate all those pictures. They are horrifying to me. It looks like the baby is melting, not natural or anything. I refuse to do this with my baby.

Bodnoirbabe
Apr 30, 2007



Eglamore posted:

After we got our *normal* ultrasound, I put this picture of some random baby on my Facebook wall. Nobody seemed to notice and just gave the generic "AWWW BABY" responses.



4d is a bit weird is what I'm saying here.

You mean 3D.

Also, that is pretty funny. I'm glad I'm not the only one who's creeped out by those images. For those who like it, more power to ya, but I will never not see a melting baby.

Bodnoirbabe
Apr 30, 2007



sheri posted:

So is there a general consensus as to how long you should be off the pill before starting to try to get pregnant. Say you want to start trying in January, should you just go off the pill in January? Sometime before then? What else should you make sure you do beforehand? Do you schedule an appointment with your Dr.? What questions should you ask in determining where you want/who you want to have to deliver your baby?

Is it normal to be really excited about starting the process of trying to have children, but at the same time terrified?

There is no consensus about when you should stop the pill. Every woman is different. Some get pregnant the first month, some not. I myself took 1 year and 3 months to conceive after I stopped the pill. Fire In the Disco mentioned she took 7.

Your best bet is to go here for info on getting pregnant. Once you get there, then come back to this thread. The people in the other thread are awesome and really supportive!

Also, as far as what Bamzilla said about pre-natals, it's true, but you don't need the rx kind. Most Walgreens or CVS's etc, carry prenatals anyone can buy. What you're looking to do is build up folic acid, so look for prenatals that have 800+ mcg of folic acid in each pill. It's extremely important to start getting that folic acid up so that the baby can develop properly in the first trimester. Also, it really awesome for your hair and nails, and looking healthier will help with the having sex part!

Bodnoirbabe fucked around with this message at 01:44 on Jul 30, 2011

Bodnoirbabe
Apr 30, 2007



On friday I'll be 12 weeks and announcing on my facebook that I'm pregnant. Any funny, not sentimental, cheesy, or weepy statuses you can suggest for myself and for my husband?

Also, I am having an odd reaction to buying baby stuff. I know I will need a lot, but I haven't bought anything yet. Not even a book. I just have this feeling that if I start, I wont stop. I'm also really nervous about how much stuff there is and that I'll choose the wrong stuff, the wrong brand, the wrong fabric, etc, etc. Baby stuff seems like a huge minefield to navigate. Anyone else feel this way?

Bodnoirbabe
Apr 30, 2007



Fire In The Disco posted:

What about just posting a picture of a positive pregnancy test?

Too plain for my style.

limegrnxj posted:

I'm 20 weeks and I still haven't made a FB post because I can't decide what the right thing to say is.

I also haven't bought anything because there is so much of everything and it seems completely overwhelming. I'm hoping everything will just magically appear? Yeah, I know how you feel.

At least I know I'm not alone, although your facebook conundrum does not give me hope.

Bodnoirbabe
Apr 30, 2007



VorpalBunny posted:

For our announcement, I took a picture of a Cthulhu figurine in a baby carrier and posted it with "He Is Coming!"

Awesome! This is more my husband and mine's speed. I don't think it's boring to just post an ultrasound of pregnancy test, but it's not us. If I'm not confusing my friends or making them have to think, I'm failing at facebook.

Banana Cat posted:

As an aside, pregnancy dreams are loving weird.

YES! I am having the most vivid dreams every night. They seem so incredibly real but they couldn't possibly with how weird they are. What about anyone else?

Bodnoirbabe
Apr 30, 2007



Ok. Cat's out of the bag and I'm really hating all the attention.

Congratulations, Daya!

Bodnoirbabe
Apr 30, 2007



It's comforting to know I'm not alone in hating the attention, but it sucks knowing it's going to get worse.

Do any of you have any advice on how to politely keep people from doing the overboard thing, or is it pretty much you just have to ride it out?

Bodnoirbabe
Apr 30, 2007



I'm having a poo poo ton of tooth pain and fear I may need to get a root canal. I just researched and it seems like it's very safe to get emergency dental work done during pregnancy, but only during your second trimester, which I've just entered. But I'm still nervous. Anyone else have to do dental work besides a normal cleaning?

Bodnoirbabe
Apr 30, 2007



starshine posted:

I'm not really sure what people mean by creepy... I thought the pictures were really interesting - that's your baby's face!

What is unsettling is it's your babies face....melting. I have never seen an image that doesn't look like a melting baby.

Bodnoirbabe
Apr 30, 2007



I'm quite enjoying the pregnancy dreams in a very WTF kind of way. But then, none of them have been scary so far. Mostly just weird and extremely vivid.

Bodnoirbabe
Apr 30, 2007



It's amazing and comforting just how much information you can find online by simply adding "and pregnancy" at the end of your search terms on Google.

For instance, "Bread mold and pregnancy" brings up helpful information on how I'll be perfectly fine after eating that piece of toast I didn't notice had mold on it. It was dark in the kitchen in my defense.

Bodnoirbabe
Apr 30, 2007



So, this is a sensitive question, but how does one go about dealing with their uh...more sensitive bladder? Coughing, laughing, sneezing...they're all becoming a bit hazardous to my pants. Any tips?

Bodnoirbabe
Apr 30, 2007



From what I was able to understand by googling that, it seems that it's simply talking about the placement of where the cord attaches to the placenta.

quote:

Insertion: The cord is inserted in the foetal surface of the placenta near the center "eccentric insertion" (70%) or at the center "central insertion" (30%).

Bodnoirbabe
Apr 30, 2007



The Young Marge posted:

:ohdear: I worry about this happening after having a kid, and I think that's why it bothers me so much. I can totally see posting pics if they're funny or cute, just not... every single day. And hopefully accompanied by something a little wittier than "look at me, I'm so big now! I wuv my mommy!"

The profile pic thing confuses me because you are not your kid, you are you. (Aren't you?) It's especially weird when people post "OMG, got so wasted last night, LOL" and it's a picture of, like, a 2-year-old.

I feel the same way about people who relentlessly post cutesy poo poo about their significant other. And people who have joint Facebook accounts. Hello, our name is JillAndJoe Smith. It's our birthday today! I just can't imagine being that wrapped up in somebody else's identity when I have a perfectly good one of my own.

Sorry for the derail. Here's a pic of the awesome baby shoes I found at Ross for 3 bucks:



I know exactly what you mean. I am only 16 weeks today, but this remains one of my biggest fears, losing my identity. I consciously try not to make posts about my pregnancy. And I will do the same once the baby is born.

One weird thing I've noticed though, no one else can shut up about me being pregnant and attributing EVERYTHING to me being knocked up. For example, my neck has been really stiff and sore the past few days. I am almost 100% certain this is due to sitting on my couch at a weird angle while I marathoned a TV show. I posted on Facebook how it hurts and the first comment is "That would be your hormones, my dear."

No, not everything is because I'm pregnant. Another example was I commented on how I liked our national anthem because it's not all machismo and is just a cool poem about the flag. My mother and my best friend both posted about how my hormones are making me sentimental.

It's really loving annoying. I haven't had any hormone problems yet this pregnancy. No wild mood swings, no crying over nothing, no snapping at people or losing control. But this makes me want to scream.

Bodnoirbabe
Apr 30, 2007



Found out the sex today! It's a boy! Here's how I announced it on Facebook:

Bodnoirbabe
Apr 30, 2007



car dance posted:

Holy crap Bodnoirbabe: my husband and I are naming our kid Maxwell Avery Stirling (lastname) if it's a boy! Great name. :)

Awesome name! Sterling is the middle name though.

Bodnoirbabe
Apr 30, 2007



Bahunter22 posted:

I feel like punching people in the mouth today. Apparently I annoyed my mother because I wasn't wearing a traditional maternity shirt. I annoyed my stepmother because I already had the book series she wanted to collect for "her princess". The icing on the cake came last night. My husband and I have not been looking forward to coming up with a name for our daughter. We figured it might be right up there with assembling Ikea furniture together, which if you're anything like us, is borderline murderous. We were actually very successful and stumbled upon a name that we both contributed to and we both really love. We decided to name our daughter Saria Rose. Unique but not too obscure in our opinion to damage the kid completely. Plus she has her own theme music. How bad rear end is that? Well I told my parents and they pissed all over it and decided that they were going to call her whatever they wanted. Seriously? I don't really give two shits if they don't like it but I have a serious problem with them taking a dump on her name before they even took it in. How do you all deal with that?

Edit: Congrats on Maxwell! Love the bling!

That's really pissy of them. I really like the name you picked. If they use another name, just say "I'm not sure who you're referring to, but I know it couldn't be my child because her Grandparents would respect her name."

Bodnoirbabe
Apr 30, 2007



Gumby Orgy posted:

My god, I am cramping terribly. I found out I am pregnant yesterday because I got sent home from work for puking. Turns out, I wasn't sick but pregnant. When will the uterine cramping go away? It hurts pretty badly.

You shouldn't be feeling really bad cramping like that. Some is expected, usually mild. What your describing seems pretty painful. If you start spotting, may want to head to the hospital to get checked out.

Bodnoirbabe fucked around with this message at 07:00 on Sep 10, 2011

Bodnoirbabe
Apr 30, 2007



Helanna posted:

I bought a book a while ago, on advice from this forum, "Your Pregnancy, week by week" 6th edition by Glade Curtis and Judith Schuler. Any other recommendations?

I bought that book and don't like it. It's like here's what will happen this week and here's a bunch of diseases and things that can go wrong with the baby for you to worry about this week!

I much prefer the Mayo Clinic Guide to a Healthy Pregnancy. It's a much nicer book, very informative without being patronizing or cutsie about everything. Highly recommend it.

Bodnoirbabe
Apr 30, 2007



You may need more potassium. Eat more bananas or take a supplement.

Bodnoirbabe
Apr 30, 2007



Dr. Octagon posted:

While this may be part of it, there's definitely a lot of exceptionalism that goes on with pregnant women also. Yes, a woman's pregnancy is a very unique and special experience to her, but it's also been done billions of times and for most women is uncomplicated and "normal." When you're probably the 50th pregnant lady of the day to call your practitioner and say "I'm 8 weeks pregnant and NAUSEOUS, DO SOMETHING!" I don't know how they're supposed to respond except for "it's normal, if X hasn't worked, we'll try Y." Honestly, every time I've been told by a medical professional that what I'm experiencing is completely normal, I feel relieved, not condescended to.

On the opposite side of this, it was my husband that was freaking out about my nausea and heart burn during the first trimester. I kept telling him I was fine and it's normal and all that. He made me call the doctor and ask anyhow. Their response? "Congratulations! You're pregnant!"

I laughed and he chilled out after that.

Bodnoirbabe
Apr 30, 2007



MoCookies posted:

I'm confused about the pros/cons of getting antibiotics during labor, with regards to trying to prevent group B strep infection in a newborn. I don't know if I'm GBS+ yet, but I've had a hard time coming across any reputable-looking info on the side-effects. Most everything I've found simply says that GBS infection can be really bad in rare cases, so everybody gets antibiotics, and that's that. Personally, I'm not totally comfortable with the idea of pumping my newborn full of antibiotics, and my midwives are frustratingly neutral on the subject. They did warn me that if I need to be transferred to the hospital for some reason (instead of giving birth in the birth center), then there would be a lot of pressure from the hospital staff to simply have the antibiotics. At the birth center, it's totally my choice.

Has anybody else been given this choice?

Your newborn has pretty much no immunity system. Why wouldn't you want to protect them with antibiotics? Do you also not want to immunize your child?

I'm not trying to be confrontational, I just don't understand that line of thinking. Please help me understand.

Bodnoirbabe
Apr 30, 2007



So I'm 21 weeks and I have the Diabeetus test coming up on Nov 2nd. The nurse informed me it's a fasting test, which I could have sworn people in this thread said they didn't have to fast for theirs. Anyhow, at midnight, I'm not allowed to eat or drink anything, not even water.

Here's my problem. I am hypothyridic. This means I have to take a thyroid hormone supplement every morning because I don't make any on my own. I don't have a thyroid, actually. Anyhow, this test is based on how well you metabolize glucose, right? If I don't take my pill before I go in for this test, is it going to gently caress up the results?

Does anyone know anything about this? I'm going to call the lab before I go in, but I was curious if anyone else had experience with this.

Bodnoirbabe
Apr 30, 2007



Gumby Orgy posted:

It is okay to take meds that you cannot _not_ take before a fasting test with a sip or two of water, but that is it. What they don't want you to do is eat food to mess up the test results. I would obviously ask about it and explain the situation, but you should be able to take your meds.

Ok, yeah. I asked about taking meds because usually I take my prenatal and iron supplement before I go to bed, which is usually 3 am (I work the late shift at work). They told me to take them at midnight. So I was worried that even taking the small thyroid pill would be bad, which I take immediately on waking. I can dry swallow it, as it's that tiny, but I just don't see myself being able to properly metabolize that glucose solution if I have no thyroid hormone to kick start my metabolism.

But then...I really don't like my doctors nurses, as they don't seem to take into consideration my situation and may just be giving me the "standard" response for a normal person.

Bodnoirbabe
Apr 30, 2007



Is anyone else concerned with how they're going to look during and after delivery? I've been thinking about this and then I feel guilty because who the hell cares what you look like when you're pushing a squalling baby through your vag. But I have a plan to make sure my legs and other areas are shaved (my friend said they shave you down there themselves with a cheap razor if you don't do it yourself), makeup done, pedicure done and nails painted. Also, if possible, hair looking nice.

Am I being stupid?

Bodnoirbabe
Apr 30, 2007



Tesla Insanely Coil posted:

I'm not planning on giving birth in a tub, but the hospital has a jacuzzi to relax in so I'm planning on being in my swimming suit and relaxing in hot water for as long as possible.

I also bought this on an impulse buy.

Also, it's completely understandable if you want to look good. Not only for the staff but for pictures. My dad took pictures of my mom (not anything gross) and those pictures will be around for a long time so that is making me want to look nice, though I'm just aiming for a french braid.

Yeah, it's mostly the pictures I know people are going to be taking. I don't like taking pictures to begin with, I will absolutely hate it when I'm post labor. I figured I might was well try to look my best considering the situation.

Bodnoirbabe
Apr 30, 2007



I have every intention to let people take pictures immediatly after birth, that's why I was thinking of doing everything I could BEFORE the birth takes place. But to not want pictures after because you might look sweaty and a bit mussed? You're so vain, I bet you think this post is about you.

Bodnoirbabe
Apr 30, 2007



The Young Marge posted:

Is anyone else keeping the actual birth private? I think I'd lose my mind if there were a bunch of people there watching as I deliver my kid, and can't imagine why anyone would want that. That's one of the reasons I chose a birth center over a hospital, though (I'm lucky enough to have that choice). People say you end up not caring, but I dont know about that. I think I'll have an easier time if I feel "safe" and have some privacy in a more comfortable setting.

It's going to be my husband, my mom, and my best friend. My best friends job is going to be to text and keep track of people so we don't have the fiasco that was my sisters labor and my mom because I'm a big baby.

Bodnoirbabe
Apr 30, 2007



I'm struggling with some feelings right now and I'd really like to know if I'm being stupid or not.

The problem is people giving me things. My best friend is giving me a bunch of her old baby clothes. She's had three boys and so has plenty to give. But she also bought me some things from a yard sale in her neighborhood. A swing thing, a vibrating bouncy chair, and a bathtime baby washer thing. They all looked a bit ratty and weren't anything all in the style I would want to get. I told her thank you of course, and I'm going to take all of it, but it really started getting me down.

Then another friend messaged me out of nowhere and said she had stuff for me without me even asking her. She said "You can look through it and keep what you want and then give the rest to Goodwill." I feel like she's just trying to slough the stuff off on me to clean out her closet.

People are giving me things and it's not that I don't appreciate it, but if I'm given everything, I can't give my kid anything myself. I want to pick things out for my first born. Things that aren't hand me downs. But now I have a bouncy chair and it would be wasteful and also look like I'm ungrateful if I went and got one more my style and brand new.

It's the one thing I can do for my kid right now, buy the things he's going to need and I just feel like if people are giving me stuff, I don't get to do that. I don't get to provide for my baby.

Don't get me wrong, I appreciate everything people are doing and giving me, but I want to do things to. I want to be his provider. I want to get my first born nice new stuff, not hand me downs. We're not poor, we can afford all the stuff he needs, but it would be wasteful to go get it now that someone else has given me a second hand thing from a yard sale.

I became so upset about this I actually cried my eyes out telling my husband about how I feel.

Another thing that makes me feel so completely and utterly guilty is that I am more disappointed I'm having a boy then I thought I would be. I really wanted a girl because I just don't understand boys. I don't get it. I'm so worried that I wont be able to bond with my child because I wont get him. I also really, really hate all the stuff they have for boys. It's all full of robots and cars and planes and I hate it all. It's all so generic and crappy and ugly and I hate it so now I don't like anything I CAN get for my kid and it's just become this huge cycle of depression, guilt, and annoyance.

Am I being ridiculous?

Bodnoirbabe
Apr 30, 2007



Tesla Insanely Coil posted:

I can relate to the feelings about having a boy instead of a girl. I was disappointed but all the grandparents are tickled pink and even relieved that it's a boy. Even the staff at my dentist said "thank god you're having a boy. They're a lot better." So not only do I not have anyone to commiserate with but I feel like I'm fighting the patriarchal system or something (same thing with boats and planes being stereotypically masculine when I'm the engineer who's sailed in regattas). I have been telling everyone that they can't buy anything blue, and that's made me feel better because almost everything specifically for boys is blue.

I hate when people say that about me having a boy! "Oh, boys are easier!" I don't care about what is "easy". It's my first kid. Nothing is going to be easy.

Bodnoirbabe
Apr 30, 2007



Thanks for the responses. It's good to know I'm not being so completely off the wall, but at the same time, I'm still embarrassed I feel this way. I've only talked to my husband about it.

I will definitely be giving what I don't use to Goodwill, that was always the plan. But I will also use the excuse some people suggested about relatives buying us a new one. That's a really good idea. I don't mind second hand clothes so much, it's the things, the bouncy chair, the wash basin, those kind of things that really got to me.

Thanks again. Your input has really really helped me. And I know I'm going to love my baby Max just as much as any girl I would have had, so it helps me to hear I wasn't the only one experienced the disappointment.

Bodnoirbabe
Apr 30, 2007



American Jello posted:

Do any of y'all use a 'pregnancy pillow'? Is there a brand you swear by or stay away from? Do you just use a few regular body pillows? These things are like $50 and up so if they're a total waste then I may just get her a bunch of pillows. Something like this:



My husband just looked at that thing and said he wanted one. He said he may as well just divorce me and buy one, just cut a hole and....

This thread has ruined my marriage!

But that thing does look really super comfy.

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Bodnoirbabe
Apr 30, 2007



JBark posted:

This shouldn't be too e/n, but figured it might help someone out if they find themselves in a similar situation.

We just lost our bub yesterday at 31 weeks due to very severe pre-eclampsia that caused/happened along with severe concealed placental abruption. Basically, the blood in/around the placenta tore from the uterus and began to clot badly, but since it was concealed, my wife didn't feel any pain or experience any bleeding at all. It was also retroplacental (behind the placenta), so absolutely nothing looked abmornal on ultrasound. The only symptoms she had was a feeling of slightly less baby movement for about two days leading up to losing him, but that seemed just like a normal symptom of pre-eclampsia at first. Even her pre-eclampsia symptoms were quite mild (just slightly elevated BP and some feet swelling) for how how severe it ended up being after a multitude of blood tests confirmed it.

We stopped up to the maternity ward just to get a checkup Tues night, and lost the heartbeat on doppler about 15 minutes after we got in. Felt the baby moving right up to that time, so nobody could tell just how bad things were. Even when the OB confirmed the loss of heartbeat on ultrasound, he didn't see aything obviously wrong. Everyone thought it was something caused by the pre-EC, right up until the baby and placenta were delivered the next evening, and the extent of the damage was obvious. Even I could see how bad the placenta had been damaged, almost 100% covered by huge dark clots. We were told that there was virtually zero chance of survival from this amount of abruption, it was some relief to hear that there was nothing we could have done differently to change the outcome.

So yeah, think of this as a psuedo PSA to not worry about wasting the docs/midwives time and get checked when anything feels odd. In our case, coming in earlier wouldn't have made any difference at all, but for someone else, just a few hours could be life saving. Most abruptions aren't as bad as ours, and there's a decent chance of an emergency c-section getting the bub out before they die.

The OB/midwives/nurses here at hospital have been amazing every step of the way, I don't think I've ever been around a nicer group of people. Everyone has been super supportive, and I know it's really hard for them since they're so used to dealing with positive outcomes. I continue to be blown away by the quality of care we get here in Oz vs what I'm used to in the US.

Hopefully that wasn't too e/n, if so I hope the mods just clean it up instead of dropping the probation hammer. :)

I am so so sorry for your loss. This isn't E/N at all. I hope your wife and yourself come through this relatively okay.

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