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AlistairCookie
Apr 1, 2010

I am a Dinosaur


Phooney posted:

Is it the consensus that some babies just don't like swaddling? Even though I've read through all the previous thread, all I seem to recall is just how much babies love being reminded of the constricted environment of the womb, but Jake just loves being frog-legged face to chest with mummy and daddy :3:

On the nails thing though...I never used mittens, but I loved the little sleepers that have bits you can fold over their hands. Don't worry about them not learning to use their fingers--only flip them over his hands when he's sleeping (and nursing if need be for Mom's sake) and when he's awake, someone will be attentive to him to keep him from getting his face too badly anyway. By the time he's really grabbing at toys and trying to use his hands, he'll have the motor control to be past the 'Oh God these things attached to me just randomly flap around and sometimes get me in the face, why?!' phase. :D

Swaddling...You don't have to if he doesn't dig it, just stop trying and see if he settles down better that way. I never swaddled Midget (don't plan on swaddling Baby Wham either), and he never seemed to care. He'd sleep with his arms straight up above his head.

Your little Jake is brand new, so don't sweat his sleep 'preferences' at this point. Just cuddle that baby! Once you get him home, everything will be tons better. Just lay him down where you want him to sleep--he'll be fine. Not swaddling might be the trick anyway.

And, get a seahorse! They're cheaper at your local Walmart or Target. Use it just like Pavlov's dogs and the bell. Soon, it'll be his sleepy time trigger, and soon after that, he'll be able to turn it on himself if he needs it. Many, many goon Moms and Dads will attest to the Power of the Seahorse.

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AlistairCookie
Apr 1, 2010

I am a Dinosaur


Both Midget and Baby Wham got hiccups constantly. Minimum of once a day. Now that I'm 39 weeks, Baby Wham's hiccups are downright violent. My whole belly shakes.

Hair falling out...Last time it didn't start until about 4 months post-partum. It only lasted a few weeks though; I lost all I was going to lose in one fell swoop. My temples looked really threadbare for a while--and then growing back short, wispy baby hair. :( Not looking forward to this again. I have very thick hair, so I was shocked to actually see my scalp through my hair for the first time.

So I had an impromptu ultrasound yesterday. Apparently my fundal (is that right?) measurement took a bit of a jump between last week and yesterday and the NP just wanted to take a look around and see. Fluid level is fine, baby is estimated to be a bit on the large side, but totally fine. She said 9 lbs, give or take a bit. Midget was 8.5, so I'm not totally blown out of the water by this or anything. Anyone else have their babies size estimated before birth? How accurate, or not, was it? I'm just curious.

AlistairCookie
Apr 1, 2010

I am a Dinosaur


/\/\/\ I was just curious about everyone else's size estimate track record. Thanks y'all! :D

I've had a repeat C-section scheduled for next Friday (6 days, oh poo poo!) for a couple months now, so I'm not worried about making any decisions based on their guesstimate. I'll be 39+4 then, so he'll be ready to come out I'm sure. The ultrasound was more useful, I think, confirming that I am not a good VBAC candidate. She measured the inside of my pelvis and all sorts of stuff and said that the odds of him being able to move down on his own are slim to none. This is exactly what happened with my first son, after finding out the hard way. My C-section was not a bad experience and I'm okay with having another one--I just wanted to wait until I was really at term and not jump the gun 37 or 38 weeks.

I know this would upset a lot of women, and I completely understand that, but I'm okay with it all. Like Phooney, my first C-section was very positive from a what happened directly after perspective. Got my son right away, nurse was encouraging my husband to help facilitate skin to skin nursing, etc.

E: Lady googooGaGa, the boobs are super sensitive this time around. Have been leaking for weeks...:( It doesn't take much for my son to make my eyes roll back with a shooting pain--hopping on Mommy's lap, a big hug, just playing around, accidental pinch :cry:

AlistairCookie fucked around with this message at 13:34 on Feb 26, 2011

AlistairCookie
Apr 1, 2010

I am a Dinosaur


I Wish I Was posted:

I was born (almost 40 years ago! :cry:) c-section so my younger brother had to be also because of that same conventional wisdom. Funny how it swung one way and then back again just in my lifetime.

When you and your brother were born (when I was born too for that matter), C-sections were performed differently. They were large, vertical incisions that were less forgiving and almost guaranteed a uterine rupture. Now, since they do them lower, smaller and horizontal, VBACs are possible. But regardless, if you don't want one, no one should force you to have one. I think now lots of doctors won't do them because of the small chance for complications and they don't want the liability--or the chance of a lawsuit. I was just reading about this sort of thing last night. Along with a whole bunch of internet myths about the horrors of C-sections: They have 50% infection rates! (Um, no. Cedar Sinai says 7.5% vs 5% for vaginal.) They give you IBS because they take out all your insides! (No.) You cannot bond with your baby or nurse if you have one! (NOT TRUE!) Along with a bunch of other stuff--The Internets are a double edged sword when it comes to researching stuff, that's for sure.

JustinMorgan: Rh incompatibility...you get a shot of Rogam once they figure it out, and you're good to go. I don't know about limiting physical activitiy--like Isis says, there could be other factors at play you don't know about.

Isis sums up birth plans nicely. I am one of those people for whom planning lessens anxiety, even if I know full well my plans might go out the window later.

Cravings...With Midget, I went through a long phase where I couldn't drink enough orange juice. It was like the nectar of the Gods as far as I was concerned. Why? I dunno, but there are worse things to want to have all the time. This time around, I haven't craved anything.

Pica is wanting to eat non-food substances. It can happen to non-pregnant people or can manifest in pregnancy. It is rare, gross, and potentially dangerous if the cravings cannot be controlled. I used to work with a woman who desperately wanted to eat powder laundry detergent when she was pregnant! She had to go on anti-anxiety meds to curb it. Yuk! I can't even imagine; it makes my tongue feel all wooly just thinking about it.

AlistairCookie
Apr 1, 2010

I am a Dinosaur


Nursing...Please help me! It hurts, seriously it hurts. Latching hurts, even though things look correct, and the nurses said he was on correctly. Nipples are chafed, but I've got the Lansinoh ointment, so hopefully that will take care of that sooner than later. It hurts really badly when he latches on (all positions, both sides) and then after a few sucks downgrades to only hurting, but I can uncurl my toes. My eyes water in anticipation of the next feeding. Help me keep nursing guys!

Also, latching can be somewhat touch and go. Sometimes he chomps right on, and sometimes he thrashes about and won't settle down on the nipple that is plainly in his mouth.

BTW, Liam Patrick was born Friday, weighing in at a featherweight 9 pounds 8 ounces. We went home from the hospital today, and aside from nursing pain, we are well. Glad to be back home with Midget, all together now. :)

AlistairCookie fucked around with this message at 02:13 on Mar 8, 2011

AlistairCookie
Apr 1, 2010

I am a Dinosaur




Here's a less yucky picture!

Thanks for at least letting me know that I'm not crazy. Why do they perpetuate the myth that it won't hurt to nurse? There was even a sign in my hospital room: "Nursing should never hurt, and often indicates an improper latch. Consult a lactation specialist." Women should just be warned, it's gonna hurt.

To clarify, I don't mean the chafing, rawness kind of hurt. The ointment nipped that in the bud pretty well. I mean, my boob is on fire when he nurses! :cry: After letting him go to town for almost an hour this morning between 4am and 5am, I got out my old enemy, the pump. I pumped his next feeding and gave him a bottle to give them a rest for a little while. (Felt like a failure, but I needed a break.) We're coming up on another feeding though, and I'm going to latch him.

Since it doesn't hurt to pump, I feel like we are doing something wrong, but I cannot fathom what. We'll keep trying.

AlistairCookie
Apr 1, 2010

I am a Dinosaur


Thanks again for the nursing support. Today has been better. The pain is less persistent as the feed goes on, provided I don't push it past 15 minutes a side. Unfortunately, that isn't always adequate for Hungerclese the Infant, (I have tolerated a couple of 50 minute plus feeds!) and he won't tolerate taking a short break with a paci or anything if he's still hungry. So what I've started doing is feeding him as long as he wants, or I can stand, whichever comes first. Then offering him a bottle afterwards if he's still hungry. He has nursed for a solid half hour, actively, and then still taken another ounce from a bottle! I've been doing a short pumping session a couple times a day between his feedings to make a little extra milk for a bottle supplement and to stimulate my supply in a way that isn't painful or stressful for me. Hopefully, in a couple or few days, my supply will be up enough that he can eat all he needs in a reasonable length of time.

Hopefully we've turned a corner, but at the very least, I don't feel as out of control about it (or in general I suppose) as I did. Stupid hormones...I've had the non stop weepies since about Day 2, especially after we came home from the hospital. Then being hit with unexpected nursing pain and the old feelings of Nursing Failure coming back didn't help.

AlistairCookie
Apr 1, 2010

I am a Dinosaur


Eia posted:

Does swapping side to side more often help? Like, 15 min right, 15 min left, 10 min right, 10 min left, for those 50 minute marathons?

That is exactly what I did. It probably helped more than if I had not done that, but they were in both in the middle of the night, and the prospect of putting him back on the starting side for a third time at that point had me beside myself. :( I am using this strategy now (especially during the day), for sure, to help keep things even and hopefully get us on track. At our last feed, just an hour ago, he nursed both sides for a reasonable amount of time and de-latched himself.

Even though Liam (nickname pending...right now Daddy is liking Starvemaster 3000) is our second, I am feeling very inept at feeding him for the moment.

AlistairCookie
Apr 1, 2010

I am a Dinosaur


/\/\/\
peanut, earthquakes and tsunamis! Are you and yours okay?

AlistairCookie
Apr 1, 2010

I am a Dinosaur


Nursing update...The pain is mercifully gone! It's been about a week and a half and it no longer hurts the entire time, just for a few seconds while he's getting settled. Thank you all for the honesty and encouragement to just stick it out for a bit. I still pump a bit so he can have a bottle, and he has no problem going back an forth between me and a bottle. With Midget, it's good to have the option of handing Liam off to Daddy with a bottle if need be to not sideline him [Midget] during an important time of day (i.e. pre-nap stories). If I do that, I just pump at the first chance afterwards I get to make up for it. I am happy with how it's working out so far!

Now, I know Liam is tiny yet, but he has his days and nights mixed up. Daytime, marathon sleeping. Nighttime, awake forever after a feeding, wanting to nurse non-stop. Last night I was only asleep for about 3-4 hours total. :( I never had this problem with Tim, so it's new to me. I've started yesterday to gently try to correct him by limiting napping to ~2 hours at a time during the day (waking him up for a diaper and to feed, even if it's not a big feed) and encouraging a little bit of awake time after daytime feeds. Then at night, feeding and immediately re-swaddling and trying to put him directly back to sleep. Thoughts?

AlistairCookie
Apr 1, 2010

I am a Dinosaur


/\/\/\

1) You can really tell people whenever you feel comfortable telling them. The 2nd trimester thing is because by then the risk of miscarriage drops to very low. Personally, I would at least wait until your first ultrasound/heartbeat check, but if the stick says so, you're pregnant, so tell at will.

2) Congratulations--you're normal! :D It's a big, freakin' deal and it takes a little while to wrap your brain around. I planned both my kids and still felt a bit 'meh/oh God' for a little while after finding out. But seeing that little heartbeat, and especially finding out the sex, then feeling them move...it will settle in, and it's good stuff. I already kinda miss feeling the movements, and Liam is just two weeks tomorrow.

3) You have PLENTY of time for baby stuff, telling people, etc... Just relax. Benadryl is safe during pregnancy, so if it makes you drowsy, take a couple. But mostly just relax.

4) I wouldn't buy any baby stuff until after your shower, unless for some reason you won't be getting a baby shower. You don't want to buy stuff that you will get gifted to you anyway. Take your vitamin, don't do the obviously bad stuff like drink or smoke, and call your health care provider. My doctor doesn't see women for their first appointment until 7~8 weeks, and some wait longer than that. So you have time.

5) http://www.kellymom.com is good for breastfeeding info. Mellisa and Doug make good, durable wooden toys for the older baby and up crowd. I cloth diaper, but I use a service, so I have my favorite wraps and folds (Thirsties, new improved Bummies, and the angel wing fold), but I have no input as far as washing them goes. Others here can chime in on doing them all yourself. I had two C-sections, the first after 31 hours of labor, so I could have kissed the anesthesiologist full on the mouth after my epidural the first time, so I don't know about "natural" childbirth, but there are others here who do (and will share). Unfortunately, I have to tell you that a truck load of crap, plastic and otherwise, is going to invade your house. :) Babies use a remarkable amount of stuff, and it only gets worse as they get older.

Take some breaths, you will be okay!

AlistairCookie
Apr 1, 2010

I am a Dinosaur


chknflvrdramen posted:

That does happen sometimes, G did it at 9 days old and at 12 days old rolled all the way across my bed, but then didn't repeat it for several months. Usually when they do it that young they didn't mean to and have no idea how to do it again.

Ditto. Midget did it at around a month a couple times but didn't do it again for a few months after that. Liam just hurled himself onto his side last night; he's two weeks today.

Edit: Question--Uneven milk production. I have noticed that my right side way out-produces my left. I would chalk it up to uneven stimulation or something (even though I really try to keep them even), but I also noticed it when I pumped exclusively for Midget. I noticed it this time since I'm pumping once or twice a day as well as nursing directly. Is this normal? Does it matter? I only care this time since I'm actually nursing--before I didn't care because I figured it was all going into the same bottle anyway, regardless of source. Should I let Liam on the right (heavier) side longer? Or the left (lighter) side longer to prompt it to make more? Or just not worry about it?

AlistairCookie fucked around with this message at 23:29 on Mar 18, 2011

AlistairCookie
Apr 1, 2010

I am a Dinosaur


On the subject of changing tables...I love ours. It's just a basic, wooden two shelf model, but the storage is awesome. I use baskets for socks, bibs, shoes, diapers, wipes, etc... Got in on Craigslist for $30, and it is going strong through Number Two. Craigslist is the way to go for baby stuff--saves money, gives stuff another life. Most stuff is out-grown before it ever wears out.

The baby item (that I also got on Craigslist) that I cannot live without is my bouncy seat. They sit with me in the kitchen and watch me cook. Liam sits with us in the playroom while Midget and I do whatever. It is awesome and I was bummed when Midget outgrew it (~4 months) and I will be bummed when Liam outgrows it too.

On cloth diapers...I use a service and LOVE it. It costs more per diaper than a store brand disposable, but less than a premium brand (Pampers, Huggies). I wanted to use cloth, but had zero interest in washing them, so voila! Perfect for us.

AlistairCookie
Apr 1, 2010

I am a Dinosaur


/\/\/\
My boys were done by my OB--likely yours would too, but this could be area specific or something (I'm in the midwest). He used a topical to numb the skin for a local injection, so they're totally numb, and then did it. But different doctors use different things, so ask your OB what they do. He said both my boys slept through the whole thing, after the cold topical spray part. Midget was done on day one and Liam (we're calling him Lil' Cheesy on account of his diapers now :D ) was done in the morning on day three. Both were/are fine.

To add to the bra discussion, I'm loving the side sling nursing tanks from Target right now. They are awesome! I have a couple nursing bras from Motherhood Maternity that I like too. NO underwire! BTW, after the initial difficulties (okay, my pain) we had, nursing is now going really well. Better than I had ever thought it would! He nurses really well and also takes a (Advent) bottle well too. It is all I could have possibly hoped for!

Edit: Have a picture of the boys!

AlistairCookie fucked around with this message at 00:49 on Mar 27, 2011

AlistairCookie
Apr 1, 2010

I am a Dinosaur


Excelsior hit the nail on the head--I agree whole-heartedly with every single thing. I exclusively pumped for Midget as well. It is a huge, ALL consuming pain. I double pumped with my Medela for 15-20 minutes, every three hours, around the clock, and STILL didn't make enough milk not to also use formula. I was able to keep up until he was about 2-3 months, and then he was more hungry and my boobs remained the same, despite the cluster pumping she referred to. I grew to hate the pump. It ties you to the house big time. I felt like all I did was pump, and work around my need to pump. Pressure, feelings of failure, burdensome...bah!

Ariza, one week off is a huge burden; I feel sorry for your wife (and you). She will be going back to a demanding schedule right about the time her hormones crash. :( Be on the lookout for heavy duty weepies--the hormones will only amplify her feelings about leaving her newborn so soon. I offer all the encouragement in the world for your wife to pump as much as possible, but as a third year, I seriously doubt she will have the time to do it as much as necessary to build up and maintain a supply. I don't mean to be a downer, but it is my realistic opinion. This doesn't mean she has to stop nursing all together or anything! Plenty of working parents, and non working ones as well, nurse AND bottle feed formula or EBM and their babies do just fine. I'm doing this right now and am very satisfied. Liam has no nipple confusion and it's awesome to be able to have my husband feed him sometimes as well.

Formula isn't poison. It isn't failure. It doesn't mean you are a bad parent who doesn't love your baby. Sure, breastmilk is awesome and any milk at all she can give your baby is a benefit. But even though "breast is best", what is really best is a sane Mommy who isn't beating herself up over not living up to unrealistic expectations. Soon enough, you both will figure out by necessity whatever it is you have to do.

Good luck to you all and keep us posted. I am much more concerned about her emotional and physical health going back to such demanding work after only a week post-partum than your baby-feeding options. :(

AlistairCookie
Apr 1, 2010

I am a Dinosaur


Brennanite posted:

Second, since last night, I've been having pain in the cervical region (internal side). It's not constant, just like getting a sharp poke from time to time. There's no blood or discharge so I'm not particularly worried, just curious. Does this sound like standard expansion pains or has my kid found a terrible way to say hello?

How far are you? Yeah, it could be the baby has found a way to tell you hi. Liam was particularly fond of settling in down low and stomping the ever living Hell out me for a several week stretch. Then he got bigger (I think) and it stopped. He moved on to stomping on me in other places. :D

AlistairCookie
Apr 1, 2010

I am a Dinosaur


Rathina posted:

That was one positive, oh how I would rather count oz's in a bottle then keep track on a little chart every time I've fed or changed her. I've been thinking about buying a baby scale for peace of mind this time around, but they are pretty expensive.

http://www.amazon.com/Salter-Electronic-Baby-Toddler-Scale/dp/B00009KX5U/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1301595463&sr=8-1

Edit: Doh! FITD beat me to it! Does everyone have this scale?

We have this scale. It is awesome, but $70 is still $70. My husband is very anal, and weighs Liam weekly just to see how much he's gaining. He did the same for Midget until he was a few months old. Then he weighed him every month or so. This was seriously the ONLY upside to EPing Midget for ~5 months. I whole-heartedly agree with everything you said. I would never do it again. Now, Liam nurses well (what a novelty after Tim who just could never get the hang of it!), but sometimes he gets a bottle. A few oz's of formula a day, if I don't have any EBM at the time, isn't killing anyone, and I refuse to feel guilty about it this go around. Not one speck of guilt! :D It is very relieving to nurse, first of all, but also when he's having a spell where he wants to be constantly attached to me to have Daddy give him a bottle because I need a break. There is no reason to feel badly about that, and this time, I don't. (I just try to get in a pump as soon as I can.)

We (me too) can spend so much time and energy obsessing about how to feed our babies that sometimes we forget that hugs, kisses, and cuddles are more important. :3: Only something we love simply more than anything can make us so crazy.

Have a picture of Lil' Cheesy! :D

AlistairCookie
Apr 1, 2010

I am a Dinosaur


MarshallX, I know you said your wife is close to her mother, but where specifically does she stand in all of this? Does she want her mom up for two weeks afterwards? Does she want her mom in for the delivery? How much have you talked to your wife about this? It goes without saying that all this needs to be hammered out right now since you are likely going to deliver very soon.

I'm totally on your side in this, BTW. My MIL was very "smothery" during my stay in the hospital with my first, and I seriously suffered for it. Parked herself up there all day, everyday, well into the evening. Doing what? Holding MY newborn. I got to unsuccessfully fumble through every nursing session, with company, and then hand him back over basically. It is extremely hard to try to learn to nurse a sleepy baby with nipple issues (sorry, TMI?) with non-stop company. I tried to suck it up and not say anything because I knew when we got home it would be better, but to no avail. On the last night, I had a total breakdown and really upset my husband. :( I don't blame him at all because it IS his mom and I wasn't saying anything to speak up for myself because I was trying to make everyone happy. It was seriously a bad time. This go around was night and day. We were left alone, and I nursed, and NAPPED; it was a peaceful and copacetic time for us.

If your MIL stayed with you for two weeks, would she be helpful, or will she helpfully hold your baby every waking moment for you? I suspect I know the answer to this question... Besides that though, I feel it is extremely important to spend the first couple days in the hospital, and the first week or two at home ALONE (for the most part, obviously some visiting is okay if you are okay with it) learning how to function as three and bond with your new family.

As an aside, lots of hospitals have a rule that only one person is allowed in the room once active pushing starts (mine does). Your hospital may also have this rule... a choice between husband and mom is a no brainer, and it may give your wife a blameless out. For sure, with a C-section, there's only one person who can scrub in and be with you.

Really, you just need to have a gentle but upfront talk with your wife. Yes, she's the pregnant one and it's her mom, but you are her husband and the daddy-to-be. You have a say in this too.

If your wife isn't down with all the involvement of her mom, she needs to stand up for herself. Or let you help her do it and talk to her mom. If she likes being smothered, you have every right to tell your wife that you as the husband and father have just as much say and you are not down with it.

Sorry for all your drama though. :(

E: FITD beat me to some of this while I was in preview.

AlistairCookie
Apr 1, 2010

I am a Dinosaur


/\/\/\
I bottle and breastfeed--some formula and EBM when I have it. This is what has gone on for us:

Nipple confusion is a real thing (happened to a friend of mine), although Liam doesn't have it. (What he has is side preference--hates the left.) I gave him a bottle when he was 3 days old because nursing hurt so bad; he was hungry and my milk was just starting and it just plain hurt! So while a bottle can cause problems, it doesn't automatically. Now he gets 1-2 bottles of something a day and he has a paci when he's sleepy--and still nurses like a barracuda. I think that first bottle he ate about 1.5 oz (~45ml). Now at 4+ weeks old (where the Hell does the time go?!) he will drink ~100-120ml of whatever from a bottle if he's really hungry. Like if it's a real meal, not me topping him off (so to speak) before bed.

For me to keep nursing, the most important thing was that break; and having the mental out that if it got bad again, I could take another break. Just knowing that kept me going more than the irrational desperation of "I can only nurse, NO bottles, oh God!" and made me keep at nursing.

So if your giving mom milk in a bottle, I'd warm about ~30-45ml (or whatever you have on hand) to start. You can always give more. If formula, just make 2oz (one scoop) and offer that. If he's hungry and drinks it all, wonderful. If not, oh well. He'll let you know if he's full or still hungry. All babies are different, and different from one feed to the next and one week to the next. They're a constantly moving target! :D Just take it one feed at a time and don't worry. I think your method of latching for a bit, and then bottling afterwards if necessary is perfectly reasonable. Whatever routine you end up on will fall into place, and there is no one right answer. What's right is whatever is working for you.

His little knit cap is adorable BTW. :3: Sigh...babies. Also, glad your MIL is in check.

If I may celebrate a personal victory (and by that I mean dumb luck having not one thing to do with me): Liam slept from 10:30 to 4am last night! It was amazing--the sleep was totally worth the complete mess that my shirt and the sheets were after all that time. :)

AlistairCookie
Apr 1, 2010

I am a Dinosaur


Hillridge posted:

My apologies if this was posted in the thread already. Do you know of any impartial articles, or solid facts on home birth vs. hospital birth? I understand there are pros and cons of each, but most of the home birth stuff I have seen I feel like I can't trust because it is highly opinionated. I'm looking for statistics that compare rates of things like complications, infant mortality, mother mortality, recovery time, etc. between the two. Thanks.

I too am devoid of links, but something to keep in mind is that not all hospitals are created equal; you experience can vary greatly depending on the facility. For instance, if you think a hospital birth automatically has to be industrial and full of interventions you don't want/need, that isn't necessarily true of all places. I, for instance, went to the hospital that is known as the "baby hospital" in my city. Overall, my experiences were very positive--I was in charge of what was happening to me (at least until the end, but I digress).

When making your decision, just don't assume that hospital births are always cold and industrial, that's all.

MarshallX, so sorry the hospital pressured you into using a bottle so quickly! Midget didn't even half-assed latch until day three, with a nipple shield, and no one was pushing us towards a bottle even then. I'm not advocating giving up in the least little bit, but with Midget I gave up after about two weeks. He was just mouth-stupid or my nipples were too hard to deal with or something and he could only flail about marginally effectively with a nipple shield anyway. :( I mentally couldn't take it any more. But EPing, as some posts by myself and others a couple pages back attest to, is full of it's own issues as well.

If you are giving a bottle though, make sure it's the slowest flow possible. Like a #1, or NB or whatever nipple in the system you have. That way, there's less of a chance for him to get used to a faster flow than the breast.

All it boils down to is, whatever you do or don't do, just keep reminding your wife not to beat herself up over anything. We all just do the best we can and there is no gold standard to strive towards or fall short of.

AlistairCookie
Apr 1, 2010

I am a Dinosaur


MarshallX posted:

getting that bit of success to Mom is important to me right now, I can see her frustration building try after try.

:smith: I remember that feeling very acutely. My sympathies!

AlistairCookie
Apr 1, 2010

I am a Dinosaur


MarshallX posted:

Do your guys LO's always sleep right after nursing? grayson stops eating and seems to be sleepy but if you pick him up and he goes full wide eyes and squirmy for at least an hour before sleeping again.

Without fail! Liam's 5 weeks old today and I still have to poke him periodically during a feed to keep him with the program long enough to eat enough at one time. But as soon as I pull him off, he snaps right back awake. Most annoying during the night...

So the discussion a couple posts back was all about when to return to work, (like we have a choice in the matter here in the US, but anyway) and FITD talked about her decision to stay home with Cecelia. I've had a lot of anxiety the past week or two and this seems as good a in as any to let off some steam:

I had been working two days a week after I had Midget, but now it no longer makes sense for me to do so, so I'm not going back after my leave this time. I will stay home (probably, barring something unexpected) until Liam is in kindergarten--5+ years. It is by far the most logical decision for us financially and logistically with two kids.

I know lots of moms (and dads) would be envious of being able to do this, and that makes me feel like an even bigger heel. Just typing this out brings tears to my eyes; I am so overwhelmed by the thought of staying home with the kids all the time. That I don't get that break anymore where I get to wear a different hat. I have been at my job for 9 years and I like it. I have good friends there and I'll miss doing the work, and seeing my co-worker friends so often. Yes, we socialize outside of work, but it's not the same. It felt good to work PT--I got to wear the Mommy Hat and the Alistair Hat and switch back and forth and it was good to always get a break from both roles. It made me better at both, in retrospect--I got a break from home, so when I was home I really appreciated being with Midget. And I was always fresh going to work, even if I was always playing catch-up with the goings on.

Now, I feel like at any given moment, I am short changing one of them--or both of them--not to even mention housework or anything. Being short with Midget and having him tell me to "talk nicely" or "take a breath, Mommy". :cry: Letting Liam cry for a minute because I am right in the middle of something with Midget--or not interacting with him like I want to during his awake time. Having to tell Midget to wait for the umteenth time because Liam is nursing (still, again, it's all the same since he eats constantly right now). I know it's a learning curve, figuring out how to juggle two. And I remember that this super-needy stage of Liam's doesn't last forever (and that I will probably miss it when it's gone).

I guess, the long and the short of it is that I feel really overwhelmed by becoming a FT SAHM, by learning how to deal with both kids, and feel like a total poo poo that I even have the audacity to feel like this. I love my boys! Why do I feel like such poo poo at the prospect of spending every day with them?! Anyone else have trials and tribulations when having a second kid and/or quitting their job to stay home?

P.S.--I've tried to work this post over to keep it brief and not sound like a selfish snatch as much as possible, so please forgive me. (I feel selfish though, and that's part of my little complex at the moment.)

AlistairCookie
Apr 1, 2010

I am a Dinosaur


/\/\/\
Yeah, with the cost of care and the income disparity (even if I worked FT) between me and my husband, it just doesn't make financial sense to work with two. Our pre-Liam arrangement was that my MIL watched Midget on the two days I worked, but she can't take them both. It would be hard on her, physically (bad knee), to have them both (not to mention some other family issues with some of my grown siblings in-law that they have found their way back to their parent's house), so we decided a while back not to ask. So, that would leave putting them both in PT daycare, which pretty much eats my entire take home. Or, leaving Liam with MIL and putting Midget in PT care, which would only net us an extra $400/month or so. Running the kids to two separate places two days a week for long days isn't worth $400/month.

Anyhow, it is just the least amount of disruption (for the kids) and hassle for me to stay home, rather than jump through a bunch of hoops for little financial gain. And I just cannot justify to myself working for the sake of working, just because I may want to, when there is little to no upside for our family as a whole.

AlistairCookie
Apr 1, 2010

I am a Dinosaur


MarshallX posted:

I think our plan right now is to stick to pumping until we can't anymore and then switch to formula, nursing with the nipple shield is just not going well for Mom, emotionally and physically (soreness, bleeding, frustration, baby not getting enough food, 1.5 hours for each feeding). We are past the point of it being a bonding experience for Mom and baby and are at the point where she is dreading feeding times, which isn't healthy.

I'm sure everyone has been through this exact same thing but for us, we need to change something up.

I think having my FIL at our house for three weeks from Nova Scotia is probably not helping the entire situation as Mom has to retreat to the bedroom every time she wants to feed and feels like she needs to entertain FIL while baby sleeps. I've told her the latter needs to stop today as I am back at work and she needs her sleep.

:smith: I hear ya'. I hated the nipple shield with Midget--it hurt like a SOB! 90 minutes is too long to mess around. By the time he's done, he's ready to eat again and your poor wife is probably ready to lose her mind.

Ultimately, whatever you need to do to be the best parents (esp. Mommy) you can be is the best decision for you. What's best for Greyson is what's best for Mommy. Pumping isn't that bad if you go into it with the mindset that it will be on your terms: you will pump what you can, when you can, and give formula when you don't have any milk pumped. It's when you are determined that your baby will ONLY get your pumped milk, so help you God, that you become a serious slave to the pump--I remember.

And you are right on that your wife's self-imposed role of hostess has to stop right now. I understand her feeling like that, I'm the same way, but it's too much with a new baby.

I have a question of my own: So my milk supply is crazy go nuts overnight and all morning long. Liam will feed off just one side sometimes and I'll have to pump. I have to pump during the overnight after he feeds because I'm still that uncomfortable. But then during the afternoon it levels off and by dinnertime through bedtime, they're coughing up dust. So I've been giving the extra milk in bottles from the morning hours in the evening to make up for it, so I guess in the end it's okay. It gives me the freedom to do a better bedtime with Midget since Dad can bottle, but I was wondering what's up with all that? To be clear, I still nurse Liam when he wants to, for (mostly) as long as he wants, but he gets frustrated and angry during the ~5-6pm and ~9pm feeds. Nurses for a bit, pulls away, screaming all pissed off, repeats for a half hour. Then he'll drink 3oz or better from a bottle, like I've given him nothing and be happy. He latches and nurses fine during any other time.

Am I just out of whack, or out of sync with him?

AlistairCookie
Apr 1, 2010

I am a Dinosaur


/\/\/\

Well I'll be damned. That's exactly what he does! I started wondering all those things too! (Did he not like my dinner? Do I not have any milk? Does he have gas? WTF baby?!)

Didn't like to read the emphatic DON'T give a bottle during this time--it's made Liam happier and given me time for uninterrupted bath/stories with Midget. :( I am reluctant to stop...but I'll start trying to nurse more and more as much a I can to work through this and try to wait longer before giving a bottle. He just gets so angry and incorrigible at the breast during that time--like he both wants it more than anything and it's simultaneously the LAST thing in the world he wants. I do think he is storing up for a longer sleep, like it said, though, because when we are finally done with all that and he has nursed, bottled, and nursed some more he is totally dead to the world. I mean, sleeps through a clothes change coma.

AlistairCookie
Apr 1, 2010

I am a Dinosaur


Ariza, I also recommend trying swaddling. Not all babies take to it (my oldest didn't, but current one does), but when it works, it really works!

Your baby is tiny and brand new--nothing you have read regarding ANY method of "sleep training" applies at this point. Her central nervous system is brand new and immature, and it can be hard for them to settle down, and stay settled down. (For the record, I too am pretty anti CIO, failing ALL other options first. I see CIO as letting them wail in their crib until they exhaust themselves to sleep, more like what chknflvrdramen was talking about. :( Not the same as letting an older baby have a little fuss or two before getting them to see if they can soothe themselves first.)

Also, it's good that Mom is doing okay so far! Keep being as supportive as possible and be vigilant still for signs of emotional unwellness--it can still rear it's ugly head. Hopefully not though!

foxatee has the right idea with the lay them down drowsy bit. It's part of the No Cry method--but I still wouldn't bother at this point with a newborn. I have an almost 6 week old and I'm only just now gently steering him towards more independent sleep. I turn on seahorse and rock/pat/shush until his eyes are droopy and start to roll around. Then I lay him down and see...if he wiggles and rouses a bit, I try patting him and rubbing his head. If he isn't soothed by that and gets fussy, then I just pick him back up and try again. It doesn't take them too long to get the hang of it (Midget was good to go after a couple weeks), and there's no need to let them cry--just pick them back up!

AlistairCookie
Apr 1, 2010

I am a Dinosaur


/\/\/\ I was on the pill for a solid 10 years before stopping it for my first. The first month or two might be, um, less than fun for your wife. But at least for me, I evened out quickly and my cycles became normal. Your plan of just doing whatever and seeing what happens is the best to start out with, I think. Trust me, tracking ovulation cycles and going down the rabbit hole of fertility stuff is something you don't want to do unless you have to--nothing like a little stick telling you you HAVE to have sex to take all the fun out of it! But once your wife turns 35, her doctor will encourage her to consider an evaluation (at least here in the states...I'm not sure for you. England?) 35 is considered "advanced maternal age" but it's nothing to freak out about. (This is my area of profession--I do clinical genetics and could tell you all sorts of crap about odds for this and that vs. age, prenatal screening and diagnostic procedures and the like if you wanted.)

You're never really ready for a kid, you just have to be ready for the changes to your life (financial, childcare/staying home, your kid is the center of you lives now.) It's a big step, but you'll be fine. And when you look back on it from the other side, you will never regret it for a second. My husband was unsure when we started trying to get pregnant, and still when we got pregnant the first time. But when Midget was born, he was smitten and all that uncertainty was a distant memory. Me too for that matter! It's amazing how much you love them.

Good luck!

PS Iron Squid, the breastpump picture is freakin' fantastic! Midget has never "helped" like that, but he has offered and knows what my "boob machine" is. Don't touch!! :D

AlistairCookie fucked around with this message at 13:23 on Apr 13, 2011

AlistairCookie
Apr 1, 2010

I am a Dinosaur


Brennanite posted:

Where do you guys find nice, inexpensive maternity clothes? I don't want anything fancy, just semi-fashionable and not $$$. I think others have mentioned Target, but mine sucks. A row of plain tees and a rack of capris does not a maternity section make!

Seconding http://www.oldnavy.com as well as http://www.target.com if your physical store sucks and also http://www.jcpenny.com if you don't have a Penny's in your area. All the sites have good clearance/sale sections. Target and Old Navy have free shipping on orders over $50 (well, Target does for many items, but not all) and if you Google, you can always find some sort of coupon code for JC Penny's if they're not running a special.

You also can't beat Penny's (physical store) for kids clothes. Creepers for $4, two piece outfits for $6 when they run their clearances.

A Serious Woman :3:

AlistairCookie
Apr 1, 2010

I am a Dinosaur


deadhoarse posted:

We had our first child a few weeks back. Everything's going well so far, he's well behaved...eating and sleeping well. I may just be worrying too much, but something has been bothering me.

During labor, the doctor noticed his heartbeat dropping a bit, so he put a fetal scalp monitor on to keep a closer eye on the heartbeat. Everything was fine after that, he was delivered soon after. But today I noticed that I can still see a bit of a scab where they attached the monitor. I'm concerned that it's going to leave a mark, and that he won't ever be able to wear a buzz cut without a bald patch showing. Has anyone here had a scalp electrode/monitor attached to their child? Did it leave any lasting marks?

In short, yes I have, and no it didn't. :D

AlistairCookie
Apr 1, 2010

I am a Dinosaur


MarshallX posted:

I feel so, so terrible when Grayson is stuffed up. For the past two nights it has sounded like he's got really nasty mucus in his sinuses, whenever he tries to breathe through his mouth he makes that frog noise, whenever he tries to breathe through his nose it sounds awfully tough.

We cleared him out with an aspirator and it helped but last night we had the same problem again.

I almost think it's our humidifier causing it...

http://www.walgreens.com/store/c/vicks-vapopads-refill-pads/ID=prod6000966-product

I use these things in both the kids rooms at night when they're stuffy. I couldn't find a link for the plug-in for them in your wall, but they're all on the shelf together. I assume you can get them in Canada, but I might be wrong. They smell better than adult Vicks!

AlistairCookie
Apr 1, 2010

I am a Dinosaur


I failed my 1 hour glucose, but passed the 3 hour. The failure rate for the 1 hour is relatively high (25%), but the percentage that go on to fail the 3 hour and be diagnosed is in the single digits (~4%). Don't worry too much! Also, certainly gestational diabetes is not to be taken lightly, but the real danger is in having it and not knowing it. If you know, you can manage it with diet and/or medication and be healthy and have a healthy baby just the same.

The bummer for me was they make you drink an even stronger glucose solution for the 3 hour that is something akin to drinking Karo syrup right out of the bottle. Then you're just sitting there doing nothing while getting stuck every hour. And the baby goes bonkers when all that sugar hits your bloodstream! :D (Okay, so that's kinda funny and neato...)

AlistairCookie
Apr 1, 2010

I am a Dinosaur


Fire In The Disco posted:

The OB practice I went to (US) does it for everyone, although I didn't get one because I'm a full-time diabetic (lucky me :( ).

Amykinz, mine grew a lot early on, and then not a lot again until my milk came in.

It was my understanding that the glucose tests were standard operating procedure (US anyway) because GD can present no symptoms and unmanaged have serious consequences. (Emphasis on unmanaged. Don't want to scare anybody...)

Also, seconding the boob thing. Mine shot up a bit at first and then again (temporarily) when my milk came in. They're more reasonable now (7 weeks post-partum).

AlistairCookie
Apr 1, 2010

I am a Dinosaur


foxatee posted:

A few things:
1) My mom has apparently been giving Peanut a pacifier on a regular basis. Although I'm not completely against the use of a pacifier in times of great duress, I didn't want to use them to avoid nipple confusion. Now that Peanut's been thoroughly exposed to them, does anyone know if pacifiers such as the Binky brand actually work as advertised? Should I just start weaning her off them, or am I over-reacting?

2) How can I keep the babe from scratching her face? We have several pairs of mittens, but the mittens-- they do nothing! Currently I have her in one of her long-sleeved outfits with a pair of socks over her hands and cuffs. This seems to be working, but I can't dress her like this forever. Help!

3) Nursing pads. Any preferences?

1) I am an unashamed pacifier lover! Babies like to suck on things, and aren't always hungry, and you can eventually take a pacifier away (as opposed to their thumbs). Also, an orthodontic pacifier won't mess up their teeth (as opposed to their thumbs). Unless it's causing a problem, long live the pacifier.

2) Mittens are useless. Seconding baby socks. Also, outfits with the flaps that fold over their hands. But this stage will be over in a few weeks. She'll get more motor control and stop scratching so much.

3) Johnson's. Smooth under clothes, hella absorbent. I too can soak them through to the splatting point (yuk) and they hold up. I never use the sticky tabs though--just my bra/tank keeps them in place well enough.

AlistairCookie
Apr 1, 2010

I am a Dinosaur


Have another link

I drank a beer or small glass of wine occasionally with both my pregnancies. No worries here...

AlistairCookie
Apr 1, 2010

I am a Dinosaur


/\/\/\

I don't mean to doubt you, but are you really sure you have actual Scabies?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scabies

I just ask because one gets Scabies from other people or animals, not being outside in the weeds or whatever. Rarely you can get it from bedding or clothing from an infected person, but that is truly rare. It is an itchy, nasty infection that lasts a couple/few weeks and needs to be treated with a prescription (Ivermectin) to go away--the mites will not die otherwise.

If this is really the case, you need to see a doctor, and your ped. will likely prescribe an infant safe cream for Grayson as a precaution. Your wife can't go to the spa regardless because it's so contagious--the spa would not be cool with a case of scabies. ;)

I'm just asking from experience...I used to work with animals and have gotten cross infected with the animal version of the mite (sarcoptic mange) several times (as well as other yucky skin stuff I do not miss!). Do you maybe have poison ivy/oak/sumac?

I really hope your household has not picked up Scabies... :(

AlistairCookie
Apr 1, 2010

I am a Dinosaur


Ah! Good ol' Nix--that's a blast from my childhood past. I didn't know they still made the stuff. Nothing like freezing my little 5 year old butt off in the bathtub while that crap sat on my rear end-length-but-not-after-this hair for however long and then having to sit still while my Mom ran that comb through my "so help me God Alistair, I'm cutting your hair" hair. :D Memories... My Dad got mad after that because he had just perfected de-tangling my hair and getting it into two even ponytails and then my Mom cut it off after the lice. This is the first good chuckle I've had all day, remembering that.

So Baby Wham has been screaming his fool head off for an hour now. We had shots this morning, and he was in a great mood after we got home. Jovial even...laughing at me singing Bunny Foo-foo to him no less! Went down for nap around 1:30, all hell broke loose at 2. Screaming...bad, inconsolable screaming. Nursing, bottle, walking, rocking, swinging, nothing. Finally fell into a fitful sleep laying belly down on my chest. I gave him some Tylenol in case it was the shots or something making his legs sore or making him feel bad otherwise. I have him barely asleep right now belly down on my bed. Yeah I know...tummy down=bad. But I'm here to keep an eye on him and there's nothing by his face.

Thoughts? Because this hasn't been fun.

AlistairCookie
Apr 1, 2010

I am a Dinosaur


I pop Liam in his bouncy seat and re-position it in the yard to keep him in the shade and keep him near to what bed I'm working in. I used to do the same for Tim. He coos at the clouds, or stares off into space, or nods off if he's inclined. Or like VorpalBunny said, I have also laid a blanket down on the ground and set them down to flap their little arms and legs in the breeze. :D

The suggestions to wear him are good too, if you like wearing him. It's not my personal preference unless we're out walking at the park or the zoo or something. I hate bending over wearing him...

I use Banana Boat for kids spray, SPF 50. Tear free, not sticky, easy to apply, great for all of us.

I thought no sun-block until 6 months as well, but just at Liam's 2 month check-up last week, my ped told me that he could have kid-safe sunblock now and that they were changing the recommendations. :confused: But I will just stick with shade until he's older anyway...it's just as easy when they're immobile.

AlistairCookie
Apr 1, 2010

I am a Dinosaur


Liam does this, although now I don't even feel it anymore; you may become desensitized to it. But in the meantime as soon as you notice that she's de-latching, or starting to even think about it, stick your little finger in the side of her mouth and break the suction/latch for her and pull her off before she gets a chance.

Liam will sometimes go from about 7-8pm all the way to 4am without waking up. Not always, but the sleep is always worth the milky mess!

AlistairCookie
Apr 1, 2010

I am a Dinosaur


Bahunter22 posted:

Long time lurker, but finally transferring from the Gettin' Knocked Up thread to this one! I'm just about 5 weeks along, so not super far in.

A question though: Did anyone have trouble in the beginning feeling detached from their pregnancy? Don't get me wrong, I'm psyched about it, but I just don't feel like its real and the 7 tests I've taken and the vast array of symptoms should be all I need to get me by. It just feels like I'm in someone else's life and I'll wake up in my old life any second now.

Congratulations!

I was pretty detached, to a greater or lesser extent, for pretty much the duration of both of my pregnancies. That's not to say I didn't care; I cared a lot! But even feeling them, and seeing them on ultrasound, I never had an "ah-ha, that's my baby" moment. More like, "huh, well look at that!" For the first several weeks, yeah, it was surreal for sure. But even after that, to me, it was like the pregnancy and the subsequent child were two unrelated events. Like, my baby didn't have anything to do with the previous nine months of stuff, and wasn't the same baby that was kicking inside me the whole time. I know that's weird...I just never bonded to the pregnancies themselves.

Also, when they were born, I didn't have an instant, as seen on TV, bonding moment--and with my first one, I really thought I would/should and it made me doubt myself that I didn't. It took several days with my first, and a couple days even with my second; except that time, I didn't feel abnormal like before. Again, it's not that I didn't care--I wanted to hold, touch, feed, care for them immediately, but I didn't instantly love them the way I grew to love them. Now, I love them so much sometimes it feels like my heart will physically burst. :3:

All I'm saying is, I don't think there's any set "normal" thing to feel. Certainly don't let anyone tell you there is. It's a serious life changer, so it's no wonder that we feel a whole spectrum of things at different times!

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AlistairCookie
Apr 1, 2010

I am a Dinosaur


I adore the name Fiona! Our last name begins with F, so it was out from the start (not that we have a girl anyway, as it turned out).

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