NEW RULES, SEE NEXT SECTION
The Pregnancy/Parenting Megathread has been divided into two threads. This is the pregnancy thread, parenting thread is over here: http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3316493 This is the new incarnation of the previous pregnancy thread.
This thread will cover the whole timespan of pregnancy and birth, but will also cover newborns up through 3 months because a lot of new baby issues are wrapped up with that whole birth thing. Discussion of rugrats over 3 months should go in the parenting thread.
Interested in becoming pregnant? Click here for the "Getting Knocked Up" thread!
Edit: Want to join the SA Moms Facebook group, where you can talk all you like about anything you want? Click here or search FB for "SA Moms."
Going forward, this thread is intended primarily to be a question and answer resource. We don't want to keep people who suffered miscarriages or PDP from asking or answering questions--we do want to keep them from using the thread as their own personal Livejournal, especially as their postcount increases in proportion to their emotional instability. It's that simple, and we trust you to act like adults.
We've seen a lot of things like:
- non-pregnant people just wanting to hang out with the pregnant folks, then creepily overidentifying with them
- people suffering from miscarriages, pre- and post-partum depression, or self-destructive behavior who feel that endless e/n posting in this thread is a crucial part of their coping/healing process
- oversensitivity about issues that functioning adults can have a healthy disagreement about (breastfeeding, co-sleeping, etc.)
None of these things are expressly against any SA rules, but when they go on unchecked, it makes the thread difficult to wade through for both new people and veterans (and mods). We've heard complaints from all three of those groups about this thread. We recognize the value that this thread has for some of you as a community chat or sounding board, but that's really not what the Ask/Tell forum is for. This forum is for questions and answers about specific topics. There are now a couple of offsite resources for further discussion: a Facebook group, an IRC channel, and various posters who have volunteered to give advice over PM or e-mail. Use these resources!
In the meantime, we are looking to discourage discussions or posts that are 1) chatty ("Hey, just wanted to let you know that the baby burped today! I don't have a question, I'm not answering anyone else's question, and the burping isn't a followup on anything we talked about before. I just like using this thread as my Facebook update!") 2) overly argumentative or baiting ("Moms who give their babies formula are like HITLER but with life-hating vaginas! Go on, disagree with me, I've had 13 kids without an epidural!"), or 3) indicative of severe, untreated problems (OK: "Hey, I've been feeling really stressed and down, any advice on how to pull through?" Bad: "Omigod the screaming, it made me miss another one of my pills, I'm having flashbacks to my last miscarriage and my abusive ex-boyfriend! But I'm fine, really. Hey, how are your kids doing?")
Please report posts that are bad. Got it? Good. Now let's talk about babies and stuff. Remember kids, don't feed the trolls or crazy people: report them and move on, rather than derail the conversation!
FAQ from previous thread:
Welcome to honest, sparkly-emoticon-and-creepy-fetus-counter-free parenthood discussion! ~Buddleia
A note on early inductions:
Somebody fucked around with this message at 12:56 on Apr 4, 2013
|# ¿ Feb 18, 2011 13:54|
|# ¿ Jul 5, 2022 12:03|
1. Post-Partum Depression (PPD)
Where do you go if you think you've got postpartum depression and there's no mental health anything in your town?
Lady googooGaGa has indeed offered to lend support via PM, so feel free to contact her. Thank you!
Lady googooGaGa posted:
Call your local hospital's behavioral health unit and ask for help. Most of the time they are very nice and willing to assist. Google your town, nearest cities and Intensive Outpatient Services, they might be able to help you find a group. Even if it sounds cliche, read Brooke Shields' book, Heather Armstrong's "It Sucked Then I Cried", something that makes you feel like you relate (you are NOT the only one, and the great part is you DO have the power to help yourself). Find someone you can talk to, preferably a therapist, or even a minister, but even online, and be blunt. Share ALL your thoughts, even the 'bad' ones with someone you trust. It helps to get them out. Personally (as a non-professional), I advise against other non-professionals googling every medication prescribed looking for a reason not to take it. While yeah, if your midwife tells you to take something it might be good to look it up on kellymom before nursing, no matter what med you are prescribed, some website will tell you that it is evil and going to kill you. This is NOT true in most cases, and will only exacerbate anxiety.
Childlike Empress adds:
I attended a prenatal yoga/lifestyle workshop, and they suggested that before the baby comes, you and your partner spend a moment going over signs of PPD (especially differentiating the severity/length of possible PPD from the more regular "baby blues") and agreeing to a course of action. That way, when the baby comes and if PPD is an issue, rather than starting an argument from scratch, either partner can say, "Remember how we agreed that if we saw a certain number of warning signs that we'd get some help? I feel like we should take that step."
The Macaroni fucked around with this message at 02:47 on Feb 19, 2011
|# ¿ Feb 18, 2011 13:54|
2. Information on Cloth Diapers
The cheapest option is to forgo all the bells and whistles mentioned in captainOrbital's post and go with plain' prefolds and covers. In my experience, the fancy fitted velco-tabbed closing diapers with all the pretty colors were just not as absorbent as the good ol' fashioned flat ones, and with the flat/prefolded ones you can adjust them to just about any size/shape/rise whereas with the fitted ones you have a lot less leeway as to how long/how well they fit. Best cover I have tried is the Bummis Super Whisper Wrap (which comes in several fun patterns if you're into that, I personally just went with all white cuz its all covered by clothes anyway). Its cheap, waterproof, machine wash and dryable (tho the life will be longer if you hang it up to dry, they dry superfast, like 30m) and you can reuse them until they get poop on them/start to smell like pee. I used wool covers to begin with because I was super uber eco hippie mom, but handwashing/air drying wool covers got old after I started working again so now we just use bummis exclusively and so far so good. I've had one leak-through and it was because I was dumb and didn't stuff a nighttime diaper.
For a newborn, I would, unless you have a history of tiny babies, just go with infant-sized prefolds, as they'll be out of the newborn sized in a few weeks (or, if you have a beast like my kid, never would've fit them in the first place). So the kid swims in them for a few weeks, you'll be fine, I promise. You can go either Chinese or Indian, bleached or unbleached (tho unbleached hide that bright yellow poopy stain a lot better) they all pretty much work as advertised, regardless of where you buy them, they all come from something like a half dozen distributors in China/India. I have unbleached chinese prefolds and they've held up quite well. I've heard good things about Green Mountain Diapers, but just go to diaperpin.com for reviews and vendors and pick one closest to you to save on gas/cost from delivery or whatever. There's lots in the northeast and south, not so many in the midwest, oddly enough. Anyway, to start with I would go 36 infant-sized prefolds and four covers of your choice. With that many diapers/covers, you'd be doing a load of diapers every other day/maybe every two days. Using disposables for travel is what we do, works out fine. We use Seventh Generation diapers (no chlorine bleach, so they're brown) and they fit well and haven't leaked on us yet. We also use them for daycare.
For your infant, just the diaper should be absorbent enough for daytime and nighttime; once your kid hits about 16lb or drinking more than 4oz at a feeding you might want to think about getting some doublers (or when nighttime diapers start ending up leaking from sheer volume). A doubler is just extra material you put into the diaper. We've used everything from cloth wipes (you will be using cloth wipes, right?) to fancy sewn doublers made of organic cloth to infant-sized prefolds folded up and stuffed into a premium-sized diaper. I like the fancy sewn shaped ones, because they add less bulk and are pretty absorbent. Lots of other people swear by polarfleece/microfleece/whatever that fuzzy is called-type doublers. Again, check diaperpin.com, hold your nose and try not to barf at all the cutesy acronyms, and see what reviews say there. Doublers can be washed with diapers (or should be able to be).
Regardless of what kind of diapers you get, BUY A DIAPER SPRAYER. This thing will save your marriage/sanity for the first six months of parenthood. Noone wants to be dunking their hands into poopy toilet water. The diaper sprayer saves you this problem and cleans off diapers with an ease that has to be seen to be believed (it also works later on getting solid food off clothes, as babies tend to love to wear what they eat, and sweet potatoes and squash stain like you wouldn't BELIEVE. Don't even get me started on tomato sauce). Don't think about using it as a bidet, which you will be tempted to do on your poor stitches (should you get any); the water that comes out is COLD.
As far as how to wash them, I would use the dry pail method (i.e. just chuck them in any low trash can with a foot-operating lid, I believe you can get one at Toys R Us for like 10 bucks). If you get a washable waterproof diaper bag to line said diaper pail, you can just chuck it bag diapers and all in the washing machine and reuse that as well (lots of people who sell cloth diapers make these bags or sell them as well, again diaperpin.com). If you're handy with a sewing machine you can even make your own. You shouldn't wash more than 18 diapers at a time; any more and the water can't really agitate around/through them enough to get them really clean. Luckily this is almost exactly the amount that will fit in abovementioned small trash can so you don't have to do a lot of guestimation as to when to wash.
You're going to wash on hot and rinse on cold (double rinse, your washer/dryer should allow for this). Top-loading washers are ideal for cloth diapers as you can let them soak. You're going to let them soak (preferably overnight, at least four hours) in COLD water with 1/2c of baking soda dissolved therein. This kills the germs that cause bad breath. Or well, neutralizes pee smell. Then run two rinses on this, pull out all the diapers, dissolve a large load amount of whatever detergent you're going to be using (All free and clear and BioKleen premium powder are popular) along with a 1/2 cup of washing soda (you can find it in your grocery store's laundry aisle) and put a 1/2 cup of plain ol' vinegar in the fabric softener receptacle. Let the washer get half-full or so, swish the water around real good to make sure the soap is dissolved, and chuck your diapers in. If you're concerned about staining you can pretreat stains before you do this (I do, or did when he was breastfeeding exclusively, because I am anal and planning to reuse the diapers on my next kid. Oddly enough, regular poop doesn't stain and shakes off so there's usually no need, especially with aforementioned diaper sprayer). Let it run, chuck'm in the dryer on high for like 80 minutes and you're done (if you have a heavy duty mode on your washer, wash'm in that if you're squeamish or they're particularly icky, I used normal for most of the my diaper washes and things went fine). If you have one of those he front-loader dealies, look for washing instructions on whatever site you buy your diapers from, them all have them, the above was stolen from one.
As far as how to actually put the drat things on your kid, use a Snappi if you go the perfold route. Most places that sell diapers sell them, they're like five bucks for two. Practice with it a little bit on dolls or complacent small animals or whatever. There are several ways to fold your diaper, I think I've linked to them before but here's a good page to get an idea of the various ways you can collect your spawnpoop.
So, what do we need to start cloth diapering?
-36 infant-sized prefolds (chinese or indian, bleached or unbleached, if you buy those pieces of poo poo Gerber ones from Target I will personally come to your house and snappi your rear end, buy'm online)
-4-6 diaper covers (infant-sized) Bummis Super Whisper Wraps are the best I've used, followed by wool (loveybums makes nice ones and doublers too)
-36 cloth wipes (terrycloth on one side and flannel on the other are best)
-1-2 Snappis (you may lose one, always good to have a spare)
-2 diaper pail bags (one for use while the other's in the wash)
-1 diaper pail (can be any small (knee-high) trash recepticle with a foot pedal)
-1 Potty Pail diaper sprayer (actual pail optional)
-50lb box of your favorite non-bleach powder detergent
-1 box of washing soda
-1 bigass bag baking soda
-1 bigass jug plain white vinegar
All told I believe you'll be looking to plunk down around 3-500 bucks for your initial investment. Oh yeah, you'll wonder if you should go regular or premium. The difference is the number of layers in the middle to catch le pee. I always went for the most absorbing layers possible. It delays having to stuff diapers and you can never have too much absorbency, as far as I'm concerned.
I think that covers just about everything you may need to know. Let me know if you have any other questions.
My system in a nutshell is as follows:
Fill washing machine on COLD cycle with a ½ cup baking soda; make sure baking soda has totally dissolved (swish your hand in it) before adding diapers, bag and wipes. Bummis covers can go in with diapers for washing, just make sure the Velcro isn't exposed, there are tabs on the diaper for just that purpose. Let soak for several hours or overnight if time permits. Rinse twice just to be sure everything is gotten out.
Pull out diapers, add a cup of the BioKleen (use the line on the cup provided in the box) and ½ cup of the washing soda or Borax. Add ½ cup of vinegar to the fabric softener area. Run HOT wash to dissolve powders completely before re-adding diapers. Check diapers for obvious stains; if any found, treat with Bac-Out (just dribble a little on the strain, blot with other part of diaper and toss aside to add last so it has at least a minute to sit)
Run two rinses (COLD) for the wash as well.
Dry on Permanent press for 80 minutes (don't forget to check the lint trap!) Bummis can be dried with diapers as well.
My washing machine actually has a HOT/COLD wash option (means hot wash, cold rinse) and a second rinse option which is ideal for this. The baking soda neutralizes odors esp. from the urine, and the vinegar neutralizes any baking soda residue which might make your diapers rough and if you have hard water also helps take care of that buildup on diapers (which can cause them to get rough-feeling and become less absorbent). My dryer runs REALLY hot so permanent press is as high as we ever run anything, they get plenty dry (on high they got a bit crispy feeling). YMMV feel free to experiment. You want your dryer hot to dry them to help fluff them up (throw in a tennis ball if you like) and partially sterilize them just in case you feel paranoid the hot water didn't do the job well enough. You can also turn up the hot water heater in your home to 135 degrees about an hour before you run your wash just to make sure that water is good and hot and turn it back down after its done (to avoid scalding anyone).
We've been very, very happy with Bum Genius 3.0 One Size AIOs. Yes, they cost a lot, yes, some people think they are gimmicky, but I have been 100% happy with them. They have been super easy to wash, the new ones can be popped in the dryer, and they look like disposables, which really helped convince my husband. We hang out on the couch and watch tv while we stuff them.
There are lots of cheap packages out there that give you everything you need to go the more basic CD route. No one cloth diaper will make everyone happy-- hell, even disposables can cause brand loyalty arguments over what sucks and what works. If you are lucky enough to live in a town with a cloth diaper shop, go in and check out the options. Those types of places often have nights where they show people how to use different types, but even during a regular day the staff can be super helpful. That way you can find a couple types that you like and buy one of each to see how you feel about them on your baby before making the big purchase.
Its hard to say until the kid is actually here, because (assuming you're talking about fitted diapers and not prefolds) diapers fit different kids different ways. If you get a short squat fat-thighed baby you're going to want different brands than if you get a long lean kid with a high rise etc. That's why I recommend the prefolds as they're like togas; one size fits all with a little creative pinning.
That said, I would just register for a bunch of trial-packs for your kid at the various sites. I liked the Loveybums covers (they are wool however and you will be washing and lanolizing that poo poo by hand if that doesn't appeal ignore) and the Little Beetle stuff was raved over by various parties on various sites. The covers I found were good but again, the diapers themselves could not keep up with my kid's all-powerful urine stream. Further research found that a microsuede inner lining might have helped with that so you can throw that into one of those trial packs if you like.
Several people in this thread have raved about Bum Genius, you could throw some of those on there.
Keep in mind I'm going for 'spare no expense' and for me that means organic poo poo, which is probably the most expensive out there.
As for registering, depending on how internet-friendly these old biddies are (I'm guessing not so much) you can use a site like http://www.myregistry.com/ which will allow you to register whereever the hell you feel like and have it all available on one page. I think there's a ten dollar fee, I found a coupon on a website that let me join for free which is no longer valid.
|# ¿ Feb 18, 2011 13:54|
Reserved for additional resources. Please feel free to suggest stuff that should go here.
|# ¿ Feb 18, 2011 13:55|
Just a quick post to say that birth announcements are fine, but please try to keep the "Congratulations!" posts to a minimum. Use PMs or offsite chat for that.
|# ¿ Mar 18, 2011 12:17|