The Best (Worst) Of Conservapedia

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Debate & Discussion > The Best (Worst) Of Conservapedia

mediocre dad okay: Jan 9, 2007; The fascist don't like life then he break other's
BEAT BEAT THE FASCIST

Twanki posted:

Not to Fear!

http://hidemyass.com/

It's a little slow to navigate with but this should do you right.

Observe

Ah, excellent! It's as good as I remember it being. A choice excerpt:

conservapedia posted:

6. For evolution to be true, every male dog, cat, horse, elephant, giraffe, fish and bird had to have coincidentally evolved with a female alongside it (over billions of years) with fully evolved compatible reproductive parts and a desire to mate, otherwise the species couldn't keep going. [7]

7. There are no historical records of anyone directly observing one species evolving into another, which would certainly be something worth writing about. Surely of the millions of species we have, someone would have witnessed one come into existence had it evolved.

8. If evolution were to explain where human beings come from, then every personality type should benefit human life. This is clearly untrue because the world is filled with liars, psychopaths, and murderers. These traits clearly do not benefit humanity.

# ? May 15, 2011 12:11

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Apr 29, 2024 07:57

Alhazred: Feb 16, 2011

Fire posted:

* Presenting sanitized versions of other religions, but open hostility to Christianity (God of War)

Wait, what? First of all, where does God of War even mention Christianity? Second, God of War is pretty loving far from presenting a sanitized version of other religions. If anything conservatives should welcome a game where pagan gods are presented as incompetent assholes.

# ? May 15, 2011 12:15

Camel Camus: Jun 16, 2009; Mais, non, je suis fantastique!

Conservapedia posted:

Gran Torino (2008): Although he remains an active filmmaker, Clint Eastwood directs and produces what will likely be his final face time on the big screen. Aside from another Dirty Harry sequel, I couldn't think of a better way to end his acting career. Gun-toting, Korean war veteran Walt Kowalski is upset that his neighborhood has lost its traditional American values and turned multicultural, overflowed with gangs and violence. He takes down a violent gang terrorizing the community, turns a boy into a man, and strengthens his Christian faith. An excellent guy-cry movie.

This is so ridiculous. Were they really so hard pressed to find conservative messages in films that they had to include Gran Torino? I laughed out loud when I saw this mentioned, because it's ridiculous to claim that its is about preserving American values, has a pro-christian message, or is in any way "anti multicultural". They misrepresented the principal personal conflict of the main character; it says he's upset because his neighborhood turned multicultural, when in fact it's because he committed horrible, atrocious war crimes that were so abhorrent, he has a tough time justifying his own existence just thinking about them.

I've never actually heard a conservative try to justify Conservapedia, I wonder if it's something that people won't admit to supporting but secretly pull up at home and nod in agreement when reading about how Carl Sagan wants to increase the abortion rate to weaken America's comparative cheap labor advantage against China or some ridiculous bullshit.

# ? May 15, 2011 12:17

Roblo: Dec 10, 2007; I posted my food for USPOL Thanksgiving!

Had a look at the rational Wiki site, they are drat devious at Conservapedia:

"Deceit
Actually, the "Deceit" page isn't usually locked, so it doesn't follow the definition of "hijacked" given above. Instead, it's probably better termed a "trap page", or a lightning rod. That is, they make the text so offensive that a "liberal" editor cannot stand but to edit it, just to be instantly banned and the page reverted. This is why most of the edits are either by sysops or now-blocked editors (pie chart below)."

# ? May 15, 2011 12:30

Revener: Aug 25, 2007; by angerbeet

Roblo posted:

Had a look at the rational Wiki site, they are drat devious at Conservapedia:

"Deceit
Actually, the "Deceit" page isn't usually locked, so it doesn't follow the definition of "hijacked" given above. Instead, it's probably better termed a "trap page", or a lightning rod. That is, they make the text so offensive that a "liberal" editor cannot stand but to edit it, just to be instantly banned and the page reverted. This is why most of the edits are either by sysops or now-blocked editors (pie chart below)."

I love the idea of this, it's a complete personal admittal that what they're doing is so absurd they need to have a page just to distract sane people. Someone actually realize what a loving stooge he was, and then tried and keep other people the same way.

:psyduck:

# ? May 15, 2011 12:35

Angry Avocado: Jun 6, 2010

BluePard posted:

Beauty and the Beast is anti-feminist? It features a woman who reads avidly, sacrifices herself for her father and falls for a guy only after he stops being an rear end in a top hat to her. I'm confused.

Yeah, Beauty and the Beast is an odd choice. You'd think "The Little Mermaid" or "Snowwhite" would suit their tastes better, what with the female protagonist not doing a goddamn thing in the entire movie besides getting saved by her prince.
While there's definitely a questionable element to Beauty and the Beast ("If your boyfriend is an rear end in a top hat, just stick with him because your love can change him for the better") Belle was probably the most feminist woman to have starred in a Disney movie up to that point.

# ? May 15, 2011 12:41

Stoatbringer: Sep 15, 2004; naw, you love it you little ho-bot

quote:

It is regarded as pseudoscience by evolutionary scientists. However their claim has been rejected by creation scientists who described it as a young field still in development and stated that criticism can be resolved with further research

Lid posted:

Leading to
This. This is creation science. Can you feel the cognitive dissonance?

I love this. Imagine the poor old scientific community - "They... they rejected our claims! Oh, what are we going to do now? I guess we just have to accept the legitimacy of creationism."

# ? May 15, 2011 12:55

RaspberryCommie: May 3, 2008; Stop! My penis can only get so erect.

So on a lark I decided to look up a personal hero of mine: Eugene V Debs

The article was actually pretty non-biased in their own way. Which I found really odd for a pro-union, anti-established religion socialist leader. I have to admit, I was disappointed.

# ? May 15, 2011 13:11

Pesky Splinter: Feb 16, 2011; A worried pug.

Conservapedia posted:

*Typical Liberal use of deceit (God of War)

How the hell is God of War an example of deceit!? Is it because Kratos belives in equality in murder?

Conservapedia posted:

...evolution and other pseudoscientific nonsense.

Oh gently caress you Conservapedia :argh:

# ? May 15, 2011 13:11

married but discreet: May 7, 2005; Taco Defender

Ahaha so this is where they got the "Welcome to the Republican Party" meme:

quote:

So, I was talking to this little girl Catherine, the daughter of some friends, and she said she wanted to be President some day.

Both of her parents, liberal Democrats, were standing there with us - and I asked Catherine - "If you were President what would be the first thing you would do?"

Catherine replied - "I would give houses to all the homeless people."

"Wow - what a worthy goal you have there, Catherine." I told her, "You don't have to wait until you're President to do that, you can come over to my house and clean up all the dog poop in my back yard and I will pay you $5. Then we can go over to the grocery store where the homeless guy hangs out, and you can give him the $5 to use for a new house."

Catherine thought that over for a second, while her mom looked at me seething, and Catherine replied, "why doesn't the homeless guy come over and clean up the dog poop and you can just pay him the $5?"

And I said, "Welcome to the Republican Party."

The entire page http://www.conservapedia.com/Conservative_parables#Welfare
Amazing

edit:

quote:

There is excellent evidence that dinosaurs and man coexisted.[34] During a visit to the Creation Museum, the evolutionist and atheist PZ Myers had noticeably greater difficulty than others climbing on and off a dinosaur model due to the fact that he was overweight and out of shape

I'm dying

married but discreet fucked around with this message at 13:17 on May 15, 2011

# ? May 15, 2011 13:15

Stoatbringer: Sep 15, 2004; naw, you love it you little ho-bot

I'm guessing it continues:

quote:

the evolutionist and atheist PZ Myers had noticeably greater difficulty than others climbing on and off a dinosaur model due to the fact that he was overweight and out of shape due to the fact that he is an evolutionist and atheist.

# ? May 15, 2011 13:33

cholerae: Jun 26, 2005; keep away from children and the elderly

From the Conservapedia:Blocking the planet article:

Conservapedia posted:

Cities not to live in

...
San Francisco, California, USA: every citizen of San Francisco is a homosexual Jewish liberal. This includes well known liberals like Michael Savage.

Priceless.

Also:

Conservapedia posted:

Universities you should not attend

... Cambridge... Oxford... MIT...

"Yeah, I was gonna enroll at Oxford to study quantum physics but then I wouldn't be able to read poorly written essays on how San Francisco is full of gay jew liberals and why Carl Sagan and Stephen Hawking are pseudo-scientists." :rolleyes:

# ? May 15, 2011 13:37

Stalingrad: Feb 5, 2011

cholerae posted:

From the Conservapedia:Blocking the planet article:

Priceless.

Also:

"Yeah, I was gonna enroll at Oxford to study quantum physics but then I wouldn't be able to read poorly written essays on how San Francisco is full of gay jew liberals and why Carl Sagan and Stephen Hawking are pseudo-scientists."

Are you really dumb, being sarcastic on a level I was not aware of, or have you not realised that's not conservapedia, but a site mocking conservapedia? (meaning you're dumb).

# ? May 15, 2011 13:47

FedEx Mercury: Jan 7, 2004; Me bad posting? That's unpossible!; Lipstick Apathy

Alhazred posted:

Wait, what? First of all, where does God of War even mention Christianity? Second, God of War is pretty loving far from presenting a sanitized version of other religions. If anything conservatives should welcome a game where pagan gods are presented as incompetent assholes.

Clearly the only knowledge they have about these games is from the snippets publisher in their "news" intake. That's why the only games mentioned are popular/well-hyped.

# ? May 15, 2011 13:49

The Brown Menace: Dec 24, 2010; Now comes in all colors.

I think I figured out the Starcraft 2 - Islam thing.

I mean consider the hordes of slimy, shapeless brown horrors just waiting to destroy and devour all life as their infallible leader commands them to, throwing themselves against a technologically superior enemy in suicidal attacks.

Standing between them and the innocent human men, women and children is only an army of fat Americans blowing them up by clicking a mouse pointer at a screen while sitting in an air-conditioned room.

You can trust no one, as many of your leaders turn out to secretly be one of them.

I am talking, of course, about muslims.

# ? May 15, 2011 13:55

FIRE CURES BIGOTS: Aug 26, 2002; by Y Kant Ozma Post

I could have sworn I posted this in Debate and Discussion, I even asked Evil Weasel if it was ok.

Anyway, Public Schools

quote:

Public schools in the United States are liberal and atheistic[1][2][3][4] government institutions that employ 3 million people and spend $411.5 billion annually at a cost of $10,770 per student.[5] Spoken prayer, the Ten Commandments, and sharing of faith are expressly forbidden in public schools' classrooms during school hours, and teaching of morality is implicitly disfavored.[6][7] Homosexual indoctrination is common as early as elementary school in more liberal states.[8] The failures of underperforming public schools are paradigm of socialism, along with landfills and the Canadian healthcare system.
....
Views on morals
So-called "character education"

In response to the perception that public schools have stopped teaching morality, many state education departments have or are in the process of developing "morality" that avoid good and evil, right and wrong, and instead present under the heading of "character" education. The lack of appreciation for right and wrong can surprise outsiders, and even school principals. When one public school student was charged with felony computer crime for altering the grades of 20 students, the principal said, we "want to teach them what's right and wrong, and it's tough for some kids to catch on to the idea that changing grades is the wrong thing to do." The impact of the removal of morality from the public school curriculum (which is also used in private schools) is that "more than one in three boys (35 percent) and one-fourth of the girls (26 percent) � a total of 30 percent overall � admitted stealing from a store within the past year."
Prayer

The White House announced the release of Revised Religious Guidelines for America's Public Schools on May 29, 1998. Within this announcement, President Clinton stated, "Nothing in the First Amendment converts our public schools into religion-free zones, or requires all religious expression to be left behind at the school house door." --President Clinton, July 12, 1995[27]

In 2003, the Education Department released the following guidelines that clarified and added requirements to Public Schools to ensure the religious rights of students.[28]

Schools that don�t allow students to pray outside the classroom or that prohibit teachers from holding religious meetings among themselves could lose federal money, the Education Department said late last week.

The guidance reflects the Bush administration�s push to ensure that schools give teachers and students as much freedom to pray as the courts have allowed.
The department makes clear that teachers cannot pray with students or attempt to shape their religious views. The instructions, released by the department on Feb. 7, broadly follow the same direction given by the Clinton administration and the courts. Prayer is generally allowed provided it happens outside the class and is initiated by students, not by school officials.

The department, however, also offered some significant additions, including more details on such contentious matters as moments of silence and prayer in student assemblies. And for the first time, federal funds are tied to compliance with the guidelines. The burden is on schools to prove compliance through a yearly report.

Teaching the Bible in Public Schools

The National Council on Bible Curriculum in Public Schools[29] (NCBCPS) provides a program for teaching the Bible in public schools. Currently, the NCBCPS's Bible curriculum has been voted into 462 school districts (over 1,900 high schools) in 38 states. Over 210,000 students have already taken this course nationwide, on the high school campus, during school hours, for credit.

Declining literacy

Since the rapid expansion and liberalization of public schools after World War II, students' literacy levels have dropped significantly. While the average 14-year-old had a vocabulary of 25,000 words in 1945, the equivalent student in 2000 had a vocabulary of only 10,000 words, a severe disadvantage in an increasingly textual world.[30]
Liberal bias in textbooks

Textbooks (K-12) have been systematically analyzed in a study funded by the U.S. government. The 1986 findings were that massive, systematic liberal bias exists, resulting in several information blackouts in four key areas of modern American life�marriage, religion, politics, and business. While an actual conspiracy was then ruled out, the cause was found to be a "a very widespread secular and liberal mindset" pervading "the leadership in the world of education [and textbook publishing]"[31].

Professor Larry Schwikart, of the University of Dayton, wrote a book about biased textbooks. False claims common in those texts included that the founders wanted a "wall of separation" between church and state, that "Lincoln issued the Emancipation Proclamation only because he needed black soldiers", and that "Mikhail Gorbachev, not Ronald Reagan, was responsible for ending the Cold War".

Non-Dismissal of Tenured Teachers

Due to the strength of the nation's teachers' union, it is nearly impossible to fire a bad performing teacher with tenure. The process can take years and involves countless steps to even attempt. The union claims that the protections are needed against arbitrary and malicious lawsuits.

The New York public schools system has approximately 700 teachers accused of insubordination to sexual misconduct. They remain in seclusion from the classroom but are paid full salaries until their cases are heard, sometimes from months to years later. All because their union contract makes it extremely difficult to fire them.

further cherry picked data is used to prove that the problems of the public schools can all be traced back to prayer being "banned."

# ? May 15, 2011 13:56

Gilyon: Mar 4, 2010

Andy is patently insane. The fact that he went to Princeton and Harvard says a lot about the admissions practice at those schools. I mean, here's an example of a view he has, which he has posted several different times and defended on the mainpage talk page.

quote:

The flood from the Mississippi River ravages the South, but the lamestream media continue to avoid using the term "flood" in headlines and article introductions. See, e.g., "River misses Memphis mark, flows south."

Yeah. The media isn't using the word flood because of the biblical implications. Except it is, it's all over every article on every news site. So Andy's just an illiterate dumbass.

# ? May 15, 2011 13:57

SIGSEGV: Nov 4, 2010

Stalingrad posted:

Are you really dumb, being sarcastic on a level I was not aware of, or have you not realised that's not conservapedia, but a site mocking conservapedia? (meaning you're dumb).

I think he is just pointing out that they are blocking huge portions of the planet.

Rationalwiki posted:

As more and more people become aware of what an intellectual cesspool Conservapedia is, the powers that be have to resort to ever more extreme measures to preserve the extremist orthodoxy on their "Trus(t)worthy Encyclopedia". A major weapon in their arsenal is the massive IP range block, which is essentially just a way of rescinding the "open editing" policy. The number of people they can trust to preserve the ideological purity of their website keeps shrinking (especially as one editor after another turns out to be a sensible person, or, as they like to say, a "traitor"), so they have to block out the rest of the world.

The page is quite explicit about that.

# ? May 15, 2011 13:58

Safety Biscuits: Oct 21, 2010

So they've blocked basically anywhere except the Midwest... nothing like preaching to the choir, is there? But thank you Twanki for the link!

Conservapedia posted:

A woman had been fasting for several days and was quite weak. It was Sunday morning, and she wondered whether she had enough strength to attend church. It would have been easy to justify not going, as she had already shown her love and devotion to God that week. But she decided to attend the services anyway. Without eating any breakfast, she prepared herself for the late morning service. She got dressed, gathered her purse and belongings, and drove off to the church.

The church was filled for the late-morning service, with many hundreds of worshipers. The woman sat near the back and watched the pews fill up with members of the community, young and old. The service was about to begin. The woman then heard an unusual commotion outside, including several loud noises and shouts. She turned around several times to look at the door to the church. Her intuition told her something was wrong.

Suddenly, a large man burst through the door and began shooting at the hundreds of worshipers, children and all. The woman mustered all her strength and pulled out her gun from her bag. She then shot the intruder. Stunned, and expecting to die from her shot, the intruder killed himself. The worshipers in the church were all saved. Afterwards, the woman said that she had been "praying to God that he direct me" in what to do in life.

Moral: When you're praying, you should be packing. The psychiatrist one is even more :wtf:

.

On the plus side, their page on the argument for God's existence from beauty does have a rather pretty picture of an autumn tree on it. :3:

# ? May 15, 2011 14:00

Doomsday Jesus: Oct 8, 2004; Doomsday Jesus we need you now.

ChaosSamusX posted:

Wait, the op has no mention of the Conservative Bible Project?

For the few of you who are unaware, Conservapedia decided that the bible had far too much Liberal bias, so they decided to write their own version. It's probably not the dumbest thing the site has ever done, but it certainly got the most media attention.

I can't believe they used to the SOCIALISTIC word "comrade" in the Bible! Thank you conservapedia for fixing this Bible. Be sure to include parts about taxing blacks more that are all to often left out in modern liberal translations. I think it was in Leviticus.

Also, I am on the east coast and not using a proxy, so I guess I am lucky?

Doomsday Jesus fucked around with this message at 14:12 on May 15, 2011

# ? May 15, 2011 14:03

FIRE CURES BIGOTS: Aug 26, 2002; by Y Kant Ozma Post

Even Landfills are not spared from Conservapedia's crusade against SOCIALISM!!!!

Landfills, you are on notice.

quote:

Landfills are organized waste-disposal facilities in which layers of garbage are dumped, often with layers of soil in between, to encourage decomposition of organic waste.

Landfills, among other disposal facilities, are often operated in a socialist fashion. In many regions, property owners must pay for garbage collection and landfilling as part of their property tax even if they don't put anything out to the curb. In Charlotte County, Florida, for example, taxpayers as a whole pay $72.00 per ton of garbage collected.[1]

Environmentalists and other critics often complain about landfills, among other reasons because they do not facilitate the decomposition of waste. Critics advocate composting and recycling as alternatives, as far as organic and recyclable waste is concerned. Some critics advocate waste incineration, as well excoriating waste in general.
.....
here is a troublesome form of socialism right under our noses here in America and other parts of the world, and it has remained undetected by even some of the most conservative among us. The form of socialism I'm referring to is socialist landfills. Many of us pile up garbage at the curb weekly (and in some areas, multiple times per week), not even considering how socialist it is for us to do so. Landfills are typically run by local governments, even when the collection is done by private enterprise. It costs the taxpayer the same to put out lots of garbage as it does if you have no garbage, which isn't fair if you think about it. Throwing things away to go to a landfill is the socialist easy way out, quite like begging for welfare rather than working for a living, or sending children to public school rather than homeschooling them. Furthermore, landfills are wasteful. Because landfills are socialist and wasteful, we should do everything we can to minimize what we landfill. Below are some ideas to get rid of things through capitalist venues, rather than socialist landfills.

* Reuse - If something can be reused, why would you throw it away? Reuse saves you money and it keeps things out of the hands of socialists. Why throw things away if you're just going to buy new later?

* Sale or Donation - Perfectly good things are often thrown to the curb when people just don't want or need them anymore. Instead of landfilling these items, why not sell them or donate them? In addition to reducing the need for a socialist landfill, you can make money from the sale, or write the donation off of your taxes. Donation can also benefit great causes.

* Reducing consumption - While I don't feel that you should deprive yourself of things that you actually need or want, it is a waste of money and God's creation to buy things you won't ever use. For example, buying more groceries than you can possibly consume is wasteful and contributes to socialist landfills. Ditto for buying clothes that you'll never wear, tools you'll never use, toys you're children will never play with, etc.

* Recycling - Have you ever considered how much more capitalist recycling is compared to a socialist landfill? Recycling is usually done by private enterprise. Long before the global warming alarmists, recycling was popular for more conservative reasons. There's many recycling options available. Although I personally prefer when the recyclers pay me or take the recyclables for free, it's still better to pay to recycle something than to send it to a socialist landfill; you're paying for everything you put in a landfill whether you realize it or not, take a look at your local taxes. Anything metal can be sold to scrap metal companies by the pound. Look in your local phone book for a scrap yard near you. You're a fool if you throw anything gold away; there's several of those places around like Gold Pros that will pay you for your gold. There's several companies on the internet like Cashforlaptops.com that will pay money for your old electronics, many will even pay for you to ship the item to them. Many retailers offer recycling services, from plastic bags to electronics to fishing line. Many grocery stores accept plastic bags for recycling, and some also take paper bags and Styrofoam. Many electronic stores will take your old electronics (sometimes for a fee, sometimes for free). Many office supply stores will take back old ink and toner cartridges, and some will even pay you for them. Many bait and tackle shops accept old fishing line for recycling. A lot of places that sell DVDs and CDs will take your old discs, and some will pay you for them. Some, like Best Buy, will even take your broken ones. Many cell phone retailers take old cell phones for recycling. Recycling drop-offs and curbside recycling is available in many regions, and even in cases where the local government collects the items for recycling, it's still more capitalist than landfilling because private enterprise at least gets a chance to do something with the items whereas landfills are completely socialist.

* Composting - You can put unwanted organic material to good use by composting it instead of turning it over to the socialists.

* Burning garbage - What can't be reused or recycled in some way (which is very little of anything) can be burned, so long as there's no local laws or ordinances against it. Major corporations can burn garbage to produce energy, just as they burn oil and coal.

If you think about it, we don't really need socialist landfills at all. If you can't eliminate your dependence on socialist landfills altogether, then you should be able to reduce the amount of garbage you generate to one tall kitchen bag by using the advice above. Because of where I live, composting and burning are not feasible options for me, but I have reduced my family's dependence on landfills to one tall kitchen bag per week. We throw very little away to go to a socialist landfill. If more people did the same, the government would have one less excuse to charge such outrageous taxes

# ? May 15, 2011 14:11

cholerae: Jun 26, 2005; keep away from children and the elderly

Stalingrad posted:

Are you really dumb, being sarcastic on a level I was not aware of, or have you not realised that's not conservapedia, but a site mocking conservapedia? (meaning you're dumb).

...

Goddamn it :doh:

. I don't fall for these kinds of satire usually, must be a lack of sleep on my part. In my defense, all those wiki-sites have the same layout so I ignored the logo and URL when I posted, assuming it was the site we were all talking about.

And I see no reason to insult my intelligence for such a simple slip up, so unless you're personally insulted somehow I suggest you chill the gently caress out.

# ? May 15, 2011 14:33

tankadillo: Aug 15, 2006

Even though every other page on this site blasts liberals for smoking too much weed, the actual marijuana page isn't very damning at all. http://conservapedia.com/Marijuana I have no idea what their definition of "liberal" or "conservative" is, it's so inconsistent.

Every once in a while I'll check the front page just to see their take on whatever big news story of the week. When Bin Laden as killed they were posting conspiracy theories about it.

# ? May 15, 2011 14:47

Ebsation: Mar 25, 2009

This page on Facts is pretty great, check out the quotes section

quote:

"We all know that facts have a liberal bias." -- Stephen Colbert

That quote was added in 2009 by a seemingly somewhat prolific editor and subsequently edited and has since remained unnoticed (which isn't so surprising, why would anyone on conservapedia look up the page on facts).

The "Stupid" article links to a page about how intelligence testing has a liberal bias, obviously explaining why conservatives have lower IQ scores than liberals. Wow.

# ? May 15, 2011 15:04

Mr. D Bewildering: Mar 24, 2010; 8^y

raezr posted:

Even though every other page on this site blasts liberals for smoking too much weed, the actual marijuana page isn't very damning at all. http://conservapedia.com/Marijuana I have no idea what their definition of "liberal" or "conservative" is, it's so inconsistent.

Every once in a while I'll check the front page just to see their take on whatever big news story of the week. When Bin Laden as killed they were posting conspiracy theories about it.

Marijuana is an interesting issue from a liberal/conservative perspective. Conservatives should be all in favor of relaxing government regulations on controlled substances and yet they are the biggest proponents of the war on drugs.

# ? May 15, 2011 15:05

SeanBeansShako: Nov 20, 2009; Now the Drums beat up again,
For all true Soldier Gentlemen.

People who think like this will never be truly happy until a new dark age arises.

# ? May 15, 2011 15:27

AuMaestro: May 27, 2007

Mr. D Bewildering posted:

Marijuana is an interesting issue from a liberal/conservative perspective. Conservatives should be all in favor of relaxing government regulations on controlled substances and yet they are the biggest proponents of the war on drugs.

Small government conservatism is and has always been a rationalization that's meant to sanitize conservative positions in a way that will be popular with the public, since their actual reasoning is too unpalatable for a civilized person to go along with.

# ? May 15, 2011 15:28

Comstar: Apr 20, 2007; Are you happy now?

Mr. D Bewildering posted:

It checks out until they suggest that string theory is not a falsifiable scientific theory. Oh, and here are a few "examples" of pseudoscience:

Yikes. Theory_of_Relativity apparently has a well known liberal bias and is unproven. I'd never known that till now.

# ? May 15, 2011 15:47

particle409: Jan 15, 2008; Thou bootless clapper-clawed varlot!

It's time to play fill in the blanks!

quote:

Beginning in 1950, _________ became the most visible public figure to stand up to Communist infiltration of the United States government. A 1954 Gallup poll found that _______ was the fourth on its list of most admired men. [1]He is now considered an American hero by many, though liberals still seek to tarnish his name.

Joe McCarthy

# ? May 15, 2011 15:55

hallebarrysoetoro: Jun 14, 2003

Comstar posted:

Yikes. Theory_of_Relativity apparently has a well known liberal bias and is unproven. I'd never known that till now.

quote:

For example, Democratic President Barack Obama helped publish an article by liberal law professor Laurence Tribe to apply the relativistic concept of "curvature of space" to promote a broad legal right to abortion.[56]

# ? May 15, 2011 15:57

Vivian Darkbloom: Jul 14, 2004

Wsobchak posted:

And lest we forget:Best New Conservative Words

http://www.conservapedia.com/Essay:Best_New_Conservative_Words

New Term:charisma Origin date:1930 Comments:literally "a gift from God", charisma is a personal magic of leadership found in conservative public figures (but beware of the liberal tendency to put style before substance!)

New Term:correlate Origin date:1742 Comments: (verb) to show that one thing relates to another, such as atheism or homosexuality and selfishness or lack of charity; liberals falsely rely on anecdotes to deny the general relationship

New Term:Founding Fathers Origin date:1914 Comments:the several dozen Christian men [33] who helped draft the formative documents of the United States

New Term:invisible hand of marriage Origin date:2008 Comments:discovered on Conservapedia, it is the unseen force of productivity that results from marriage (only between a man and woman).

This one is still my favorite, because of the incredible arbitraryness of the words, and Andy's quest to convince people that these "data" mean language is becoming ever more Conservative. I wrote this section of http://rationalwiki.org/wiki/Conservapedia:Best_New_Conservative_Words, which is overall a hilarious article:

quote:

Thanks to this rigorous process for word selection, it's hard to overstate how bizarre Schlafly's list turned out. A few entries seem appropriate, as obvious conservative buzzwords or neologisms: God-fearing, free market, refudiate. Several are values that conservatives often profess to embrace, but so do other folks: common sense, human rights, property right, American dream. Others seem rather more associated with the left than the right: socialist, grassroots, doublethink.

But the majority are weirder still: words with only the vaguest ties to anything political, including tortured "definitions" explaining how they expose liberal mendacity. Incoherent, gambit, correlate, caucus, plasticity, terrorism, tour de force, taxpayer, leadership, local, constant, bedrock, editorialize, worldview, alcoholism, harmless error, skullduggery, ugly duckling, crackpot, deflation ("an increase in the value of savings"), straw man, phony, greasy spoon, vet, mindset, Eagle Scout, balkanize, trivia, gang up, goon, shotgun marriage, charisma, life vest, transistor, elitism, parenting, back burner, informed consent, muscle car, wannabe, cyberbullying, patent troll � every one of these is a Best New Conservative Word. And there are so many more, thanks to the scientific science of conservative word-coining!

Schlafly also provides a helpful list of liberal alternative terms, cautioning that they have "deceptive, or nonsensical, meanings." Words such as atheist, communism, creationism, moderate, and unfair would seem to be the exclusive provenance of liberal scum. As the page provides an exhaustive list of liberal words (far smaller than the conservative set), any reasonable person would agree that conservative ideas are growing much faster than liberal ones, and therefore liberalism is certain to go extinct. Incredibly, mainstream "historians" have yet to recognize this fact.

Vivian Darkbloom fucked around with this message at 16:04 on May 15, 2011

# ? May 15, 2011 15:58

FedEx Mercury: Jan 7, 2004; Me bad posting? That's unpossible!; Lipstick Apathy

SeanBeansShako posted:

People who think like this will never be truly happy until a new dark age arises.

People who think like this will never be truly happy.

# ? May 15, 2011 16:07

Douche Wolf 89: Dec 9, 2010; 🍉🐺8️⃣9️⃣

BluePard posted:

Beauty and the Beast is anti-feminist? It features a woman who reads avidly, sacrifices herself for her father and falls for a guy only after he stops being an rear end in a top hat to her. I'm confused.

Actually it's pretty funny that you bring this up because there are feminist authors who'd agree that Beauty and the Beast is anti-feminist or misogynistic. Basically the argument (which I agree with) is that seeing as how the beast acts out violently, threatens to starve her, locks her up in his castle and seperates her from her father, watching the movie with any knowledge about domestic abuse and violent relationships makes it hard not to see the beast as an abusive partner. Eventually she learns that she loves him after he shows the bare minimum effort of acting like a human being, which is perceived as showing the message that you should stay in abusive relationships because eventually the other person will change because you love them.

Douche Wolf 89 fucked around with this message at 07:45 on Jun 27, 2012

# ? May 15, 2011 16:12

Deuce: Jun 18, 2004; Mile High Club

I'm impressed, Conservapedia has really cleaned up it's act!

By which I mean they seem to have stopped using

code:

THIS ACTUALLY HAPPENED

as a citation.

# ? May 15, 2011 16:14

The NPR Store: May 20, 2007

Orange Sunshine posted:

Witch
"A witch is a female practitioner of witchcraft; a male practitioner is a wizard. Witches, in league with Satan practice the black arts through supernatural powers and magic. The Bible gives us clear instructions on how to deal with witches: �Thou shalt not suffer a witch to live.� (Exodus 22:18)".

Conservatives believe in magic and are scared of witches.

# ? May 15, 2011 16:16

Mr. D Bewildering: Mar 24, 2010; 8^y

The NPR Store posted:

Conservatives believe in magic and are scared of witches.

They think the Salem with trials involved actual witches.
"A male practitioner is a wizard". I finally understand why they found Harry Potter offensive. But let's look on the bright side: there is a group of people out there who could easily be convinced that you are, in fact, a wizard. It's no longer secluded to the realm of imagination.
Let the new age of LARPing begin!

# ? May 15, 2011 16:19

The Brown Menace: Dec 24, 2010; Now comes in all colors.

The NPR Store posted:

Conservatives believe in magic and are scared of witches.

Apparently the bible is cool with wizards though (understandably).

# ? May 15, 2011 16:39

FedEx Mercury: Jan 7, 2004; Me bad posting? That's unpossible!; Lipstick Apathy

Only as long as those wizards aren't human and communicate with crazy people via telepathy and fire.

# ? May 15, 2011 16:41

HappyHippo: Nov 19, 2003; Do you have an Air Miles Card?

In the same vein as the Atheism and obesity page (but even worse): Mystery: Young Hollywood Breast Cancer Victims. Particularly fun is the talk page wherein Aschlafly tries to defend his nonsense.

# ? May 15, 2011 17:36

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Apr 29, 2024 07:57

Viehfutter: Mar 31, 2008; Call me meow for your free readin'!

GET IT?

Fire posted:

Even Landfills are not spared from Conservapedia's crusade against SOCIALISM!!!!

Landfills, you are on notice.

Actually, most of that seems like legitimately good advice to reduce waste, even if it's for bizarre reasons. I almost wonder if some tongue-in-cheek environmentalist actually wrote that. More characteristic liberal deception, no doubt. :argh:

# ? May 15, 2011 19:00

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Debate & Discussion > The Best (Worst) Of Conservapedia

«‹›441 »