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Brawnfire
Jul 13, 2004

Come play my CYOA!

Save your reality from the Constructors... then save all the rest of them.


I love episodes like season 4's "The Light" where the planet has this architecture vaguely reminiscent of Arabic architecture, complete with keyhole arches and ornamental metal screens... and then the only person there is some dull white guy

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Senor Tron
May 25, 2006



Doggles posted:

That's also something Carter mentions programming their dialing computer to do. When not in use it dials random addresses in the hopes of finding an address that was unknown to the Goa'uld. They found at least one new planet that way.

But what supreme goon GuardianOfAsgaard said, the chances of finding a specific gate through random dialing is pretty futile.

Did we ever once see that happening? Every time the gate-room was shown when it wasn't actively being used the gate was just sitting there quietly.

dordreff
Jul 16, 2013


General Battuta posted:

Over the course of my life Urgo has gone from good, because I was a child and thought everything was funny, to bad, because he was a lot of forced comedy and painfully unfunny, to extremely good, because as an episode about SG1 being implanted with a New York gay man* it's uncannily authentic.

*well just one or two of my friends maybe

i've been rewatching and just got to this episode and it's maybe my favourite episode of the series so far. as a pulp sci-fi series it's legally required to do the "are robots people" thing so they did "is a hallucination of Dom Deluise people even if he's really annoying" and it absolutely kicks rear end. Stargate is at its best when it just gets completely stupid.

8one6
May 20, 2012

When in doubt, err on the side of Awesome!


Grimey Drawer

Senor Tron posted:

Did we ever once see that happening? Every time the gate-room was shown when it wasn't actively being used the gate was just sitting there quietly.

New Ground is the episode where everyone's surprised that it worked, but they never showed like Walter chilling on the third shift with a coffee just watching the gate unsuccessfully dial addresses for 8 hours or anything.

Senor Tron
May 25, 2006



8one6 posted:

New Ground is the episode where everyone's surprised that it worked, but they never showed like Walter chilling on the third shift with a coffee just watching the gate unsuccessfully dial addresses for 8 hours or anything.

Once they've got a bunch of empty off-world sites to use I guess it would make more sense to do that off-world anyway. Avoid a situation like accidentally dialling a black hole again and stop a returning SG team getting a busy signal.

8one6
May 20, 2012

When in doubt, err on the side of Awesome!


Grimey Drawer

Senor Tron posted:

Once they've got a bunch of empty off-world sites to use I guess it would make more sense to do that off-world anyway. Avoid a situation like accidentally dialling a black hole again and stop a returning SG team getting a busy signal.

That would have to be either the best or worst assignment in the SGC. You get to travel off of Earth and don't have to worry about fighting aliens or dealing with real emergencies but you have to stand at the DHD dialing addresses all day.

banned from Starbucks
Jul 18, 2004


just make the malp do it

McSpanky
Jan 16, 2005






TBH I don't understand why the SGC's "dialing computer" isn't fundamentally a wheel clamped onto the inner ring to make it spin like when you dial manually.

Rhyno
Mar 22, 2003

Google Image Results for
"Sexy Guy Gardner"


Or why they didn't steal another DHD from somewhere else.

Slanderer
May 6, 2007

i'm nice


Soiled Meat

McSpanky posted:

TBH I don't understand why the SGC's "dialing computer" isn't fundamentally a wheel clamped onto the inner ring to make it spin like when you dial manually.

It seems like it was exactly that in the movie (even if it wasn't shown), and probably early on in the show, right? At some point the existence manual dialing makes little sense in-universe, because they've retconned so many additional functions into the DHD (besides power sources and keypad).

Rhyno posted:

Or why they didn't steal another DHD from somewhere else.

Or just the DHD from Antarctica!

Invalid Validation
Jan 13, 2008

DON'T DOUBLE DOWN ON YOUR STUPID SHIT JUST CAUSE YOU THINK IT'S FUNNY. YOU MAKE STUPID FUCKING DECISIONS ALL THE TIME THEN DOUBLE DOWN LIKE A PETULANT CHILD. GOD I FUCKING HATE YOU SO MUCH SOMETIMES.

Cause the DHDs have safety measures cooked into them. Command center’s dialing computer can make crazy poo poo happen and Carter loves to do crazy poo poo.

Cojawfee
May 31, 2006
I think the US is dumb for not using Celsius

The dialing computer and DHD each have their own limitations and strengths. The DHDs get automatic updates so you never have to account for stellar drift, you just type in the address you want. The dialing computer can do crazy poo poo and I think it wasn't affected by Baal shutting down the gate network and they were able to dial out still.

Doggles
Apr 22, 2007



Slanderer posted:

Or just the DHD from Antarctica!

That's another one of those things in the series that's mentioned, but never shown. I think it's the episode where they have to borrow the Russian's DHD. They mention that they tried to use the Antarctica DHD as soon as they recovered it, but it ran out of power, implying that it had been the oldest DHD/Stargate they had come across.

Brawnfire
Jul 13, 2004

Come play my CYOA!

Save your reality from the Constructors... then save all the rest of them.


Is there a Stargate thread in the sci-fi subforum that I'm overlooking?

I'm kind of itching to watch irresponsible amounts of Stargate again and I want to spew my idiot thoughts, wasn't sure who I should subject to that.

Zesty
Jan 17, 2012



Tortured By Flan

Here is fine?

Brawnfire
Jul 13, 2004

Come play my CYOA!

Save your reality from the Constructors... then save all the rest of them.


Zesty posted:

Here is fine?

This was your chance to turn the scorching beam away from yourselves. If any of you wonder what brought these dark days upon the thread, look upon this post and weep for you were as innocent babes once

Should I start with the movie, or Children of the Gods?

immoral_
Oct 20, 2007

So fresh and so clean.



Young Orc



It's not like this thread is active all that often anyway.

Zesty
Jan 17, 2012



Tortured By Flan

Go ahead and watch the movie first.

Mu Zeta
Oct 17, 2002

Me crush ass to dust


Grimey Drawer

Walter wouldn't have a job if they got a DHD

Suspicious
Apr 30, 2005
You know he's the villain, because he's got shifty eyes.


How else would we know which chevron just locked?

8one6
May 20, 2012

When in doubt, err on the side of Awesome!


Grimey Drawer

Walter kept that place running.

Son of Sam-I-Am
Feb 12, 2002





I posted about my first-time Stargate watchthrough a couple of times in the Star Trek thread but was invited here for something more in depth. I've got one episode to go in season 1 of SGU.

Before my wife got me started on this, I had seen the original movie, in the theater actually, and enjoyed it, but never started on the show for some reason. I had the impression from the little bits I had seen, that the show was something like Hercules or Xena quality, so I was very pleasantly surprised when it started out strong and only got better. I've enjoyed almost every minute of it.

Too many good things to name them all without being boring, but my favorite part is probably O'Neill's irreverent insouciance whenever confronting a bad guy who's a little too full of himself. The more RDA phones it in, the better O'Neill gets, it's a perfect storm of been there done that unflappability, almost self-aware that he's a lead character in a romp and is completely invincible no matter what happens, and I appreciate that.

SG-1 and Atlantis are definitely cut from the same cloth, I described it elsewhere as the pinnacle of standard '90s scifi (as opposed to brilliant and groundbreaking shows like B5 and Farscape). This is not in any way a backhanded compliment, they did a lot of really good, fun, competent stuff, consistently for many years, and they even surprised me several times, but not too many. Part of the fun of watching it was to catch the telegraphed moments to know exactly where they were going, and they laid those expertly.

SGU is a radical departure from that style as you all know, and despite being aware of the general reaction people have to it, and therefore being prepared, I was still on the fence with it, to a degree even I didn't fully realize, until they found the crashed alien ship and really episode 13, "Faith," where they unexpectedly drop out of FTL at the mystery planet and a group stays there for a month. Please do NOT tell me yet if that mystery is ever explained in season 2, by the way.

Anyway the first half of the season where it's incompetent people sniping at each other and the whole show has to be carried by Robert Carlyle, isn't what I wanted, from Stargate or any other franchise. But after that point they seem to have pulled it together (both as a show in the meta sense, and as the crew of the Destiny inside the show, despite some lingering friction) and I'm really liking it now.

My wife tells me there's a prequel show as well? How is that, and is there any chance of another show with the further adventures of the SGC? If that involves spoilers you might as well wait another week ot two for us to finish SGU at this point.

General Battuta
Feb 7, 2011

This is how you communicate with a fellow intelligence: you hurt it, you keep on hurting it, until you can distinguish the posts from the screams.

You're pretty much into the good parts of SGU, it only gets better from there.

Man I know this topic has been beaten to death and healed in a sarcophagus and beaten to death again, but I really can't get over how incredibly callous the Stargate design is. I mean, you walk into an incoming wormhole and it kills you? The gate's whole function is to turn matter into energy/data, so when you step through that incoming wormhole's event horizon does the gate just...turn you into energy and then delete you? Couldn't the gate just politely spit you back out? Did some Ancient coder tell the gate to dump the fools who walk in the wrong way?

God they're such dicks.

8one6
May 20, 2012

When in doubt, err on the side of Awesome!


Grimey Drawer

General Battuta posted:

You're pretty much into the good parts of SGU, it only gets better from there.

Man I know this topic has been beaten to death and healed in a sarcophagus and beaten to death again, but I really can't get over how incredibly callous the Stargate design is. I mean, you walk into an incoming wormhole and it kills you? The gate's whole function is to turn matter into energy/data, so when you step through that incoming wormhole's event horizon does the gate just...turn you into energy and then delete you? Couldn't the gate just politely spit you back out? Did some Ancient coder tell the gate to dump the fools who walk in the wrong way?

God they're such dicks.

The Stargates were designed, built, and marketed by engineers.

Obviously the Ancient's answer to this question would be something like "Why would someone do that? If it's an outgoing wormhole why would you walk into it? If you don't know if it's an incoming or outgoing wormhole why would you walk into it?" I agree that there should be, like, an indicator light or something if it's an incoming wormhole, or if the gate on the other side opens into space, or if it doesn't detect a working DHD on the other side, etc.

8one6 fucked around with this message at 04:22 on May 20, 2020

Brawnfire
Jul 13, 2004

Come play my CYOA!

Save your reality from the Constructors... then save all the rest of them.


Alright, here we go! The 1994 hit film "Stargate"!


I will always love this intro. Such a beautiful song.

While watching this movie, I like to try to imagine two things: 1.) what Roland Emmerich had in mind for an extended universe, and how that would have differed from SG-1 and 2.) Roland Emmerich’s spitting anger at SG-1 and his own impotence at getting a sequel off the ground. Nobody gives a poo poo about you, Roland! We just like the big shiny wormhole gate!

But it is interesting to think about how different everything could have been. What if Abydos was still the only place the gate connected to, and it was impossibly far away from us across the universe? What if the Stargate is a one-off device? What if there were no Goa’uld or Ancients or any of that? Who knows?

Actually, as the camera opens on James Spader, I have always wondered what an SG-1 with James Spader would have been like. I’m a huge James Spader fan, just something about his delivery of lines is always so smooth and natural and humorous.

I definitely think I prefer Richard Dean Anderson to Kurt Russel, though. Very different characters, but one could argue the events of the Stargate film made Russel into RDA… somehow.

Aw, I keep forgetting I’m not going to see Teal’c. Ah well, I have a couple hundred hours of SG-1 coming up to see him.

Oh, this is also the first time I’ve watched this since I had a kid so… the impact of your own kid being killed by your gun is a bit stronger!

Ah, Richard Kind. That’s all I really need to say, Richard Kind. He’s great. He’s Al Tuttle! And that jackass from Atlantis.

I love this scene where Daniel Jackson just takes the newspaper from the guard and then asks if he can borrow it.

Actually everything the character does with paper is loving ridiculous, he goes nuts opening that star chart at the security briefing.

I’ll always think it’s really weird how they had Daniel Jackson come in, spend a bunch of time figuring out poo poo they already knew… the only thing they needed him to do was identify the seventh symbol, which was obviously one of the only 39 symbols on the stargate… I don’t know, it doesn’t seem like it should have taken them two years even with random attempts, like they could have dialed six symbols and then tried a seventh each hour and it would still take less than two days? I feel like I must be either overthinking or missing something.

This part of the movie has always felt like a massive leap. They have a map of the entire known universe with an indicator as to where the wormhole opens… So they literally knew everything, everything about what the Stargate did and how it worked, they just didn’t have one symbol that was a variant of one clearly displayed on the cartouche y’know what I give up

Oh by the way I got the extended edition so I’ll probably be taking some breaks.

A “molecular deconstruction” monitor showing each figure dissolve as they enter the event horizon, good lord. I know it would possibly have been boring to show the process of figuring things out AFTER the Stargate is first activated, but they have an awful lot of specialized equipment to have been so stupidly confused before.

loving French Stewart. I can’t see him in anything without imagining him receiving AN INCOMING MESSAGE FROM THE BIG GIANT HEAD.

I like how this planet has three moons, and they all look like our moon but different sizes.

This conflict on Abydos is so dumb. “Open the gate!” “I need information.” “You need INFORMATION?!?” “Yep” “Your JOB is to OPEN THE GATE” “I need a crucial piece of info” “NOBODY SAID ANYTHING ABOUT INFO” “well it was kind of a given” “YOU loving FUCKFACE AUUUUGHHHH”

I never thought this big weird hairy animal seemed fit for a desert environment, but what do I know about Abydos

God drat I love the music.

Ah, now everyone bows down because of the gift pendant Daniel Jackson wears flopping around outside of his clothing on an alien planet.

Astonishingly good condition for a 5th Avenue bar in a pocket on a hot desert planet… drat, a 5th Avenue bar sounds loving phenomenal right now.



Bahni! Bahni wae! Bahni wae!

The city on Abydos was always so loving cool. The tall sandstone structures, the huge woven gate, the rickety rough timber bridges, it’s all very well-done.

I love Kawalsky’s very real attempt to apologize for momentarily threatening that villager.

I don’t think James Spader says a single whole sentence for most of the runtime of this movie. Most of his lines are just shotgun blasts of stammers.

Alright we have a nice action sequence coming up with the landing of the pyramid ship and the soldiers of RA, so it’s time for me to grab another beer and some snacks.

Brawnfire fucked around with this message at 04:40 on May 20, 2020

Cojawfee
May 31, 2006
I think the US is dumb for not using Celsius

I can't get enough to how RDA acts in the show. "Jaffa cri. You heard me, cri!"

Brawnfire
Jul 13, 2004

Come play my CYOA!

Save your reality from the Constructors... then save all the rest of them.


See I bet there’s a version of SG-1 out there where Daniel Jackson has to go through the process of translating a variant of an ancient language on every single planet he visits. It’s tedious as gently caress, like watching someone play a boring tabletop RPG.

I’d love to know more about what Ra was originally imagined to be. It looks like some weird skinny pale alien with pointy teeth.



And it seems like he was one of the very last of a dying race, and that he created or commanded the creation of most of the technology he used, particularly the life-extended sarcophagus.

The throne room is a loving amazing set. Huge, with those giant doors, the long set of steps, the horns and braziers on columns… Ra puts on a good show.

Why is Ra’s prison half-immersed in water?

God Ra is such a loving dick, going out with gliders and just shooting at the villagers. Something has to be done about him!

Ew the kid with the cat in Ra’s pyramid, what the gently caress is his deal?

I love how the background music just goes like HWAAAAAhhhhhhhhhWWWAAAAAahhhhh

Boy the crowd of villagers spends a lot of rounds of ammunition in the air that would have served just as well aimed towards one of Ra’s guards.

Realistically, I wonder how much damage that atom bomb x100 naquadah power would do if it ended up in Cheyenne Mountain Complex. Would it be noticeable from outside of the complex outside of an earthquake? As far as I remember, they’re pretty loving far down there.

I don’t know why carrying around an atom bomb like it’s the ark of the covenant makes me laugh like it does

I love the sequence of events here. O’Neill arms bomb, Sha’re gets shot, Jackson picks her up and walks over to the rings, headed to the sarcophagus.

Ahhhh I love that one Horus guard getting ringed in half, that motherfucker.

Oh no the bomb doesn’t disarm!

The whole mob rushing scene is great, the guards are all like “ahhh, poo poo!”



Ra’s true face revealed as he gets asploded in space: blueberry grandpa.

Gotta love a good group cheering scene after an enemy is vanquished. I feel like you don’t get enough of those, now it’s all like “oh but an even greater threat still remains--” or “but were they the REAL villains…?!?” Nah, we killed the bad slaver rear end in a top hat, let’s cheer and pass out medals for a while.

Well, that was a fun night! Next time, join me for Children of the Gods, SG-1’s sexy pilot! There’ll be BOOBS.

Zesty
Jan 17, 2012



Tortured By Flan

All the extended universe poo poo says Ra was in an Asgard IN a Human.

Let’s invent time travel and remake the movie with the SG-1 cast. French Stewart can stay.

Zesty
Jan 17, 2012



Tortured By Flan

Richard Kind’s character can be renamed to... RODNEY MCKAY.

Acer Pilot
Feb 17, 2007
put the 'the' in therapist





You mean Meredith?

8one6
May 20, 2012

When in doubt, err on the side of Awesome!


Grimey Drawer

Zesty posted:

All the extended universe poo poo says Ra was in an Asgard IN a Human.
...

If you ever get the urge to read the tie-in SG-1 novels... Don't. Fandemonium is a company founded by a couple of fanfic authors that got the license because no one else was interested. I read the first dozen* or so books they put out in the line and it's the worst poo poo I've ever read outside of Kindle Unlimited.


*I should have stopped after the first or second one but I suffer under a curse that makes me consume terrible media and think "Well, maybe the next one will be better."

Zaroff
Nov 10, 2009

Nothing in the world can stop me now!

8one6 posted:

If you ever get the urge to read the tie-in SG-1 novels... Don't. Fandemonium is a company founded by a couple of fanfic authors that got the license because no one else was interested. I read the first dozen* or so books they put out in the line and it's the worst poo poo I've ever read outside of Kindle Unlimited.


*I should have stopped after the first or second one but I suffer under a curse that makes me consume terrible media and think "Well, maybe the next one will be better."

Are those ones the really bad ones which were written based on the first few episodes and so had little resemblance to the series itself, or the ones which came out many years later?

banned from Starbucks
Jul 18, 2004


The movie sequel book was kinda ok. The US starts sending arms through the gate and funneling them to Abydosians like they were a galactic mujahadeen. Hathor(I think) has some alligator helmet dudes and repairs a busted rear end pyramid ship on her home planet to go get revenge...or something, I forget. Anyway shits kinda wild

8one6
May 20, 2012

When in doubt, err on the side of Awesome!


Grimey Drawer

Zaroff posted:

Are those ones the really bad ones which were written based on the first few episodes and so had little resemblance to the series itself, or the ones which came out many years later?

Those were the ones published by ROC, which I've heard about but haven't been compelled by the curse had a chance to read yet.

https://www.amazon.com/Stargate-SG-...l/dp/0451457773

Brawnfire
Jul 13, 2004

Come play my CYOA!

Save your reality from the Constructors... then save all the rest of them.


Zesty posted:

All the extended universe poo poo says Ra was in an Asgard IN a Human.

Let’s invent time travel and remake the movie with the SG-1 cast. French Stewart can stay.

Well that's weird! As in, the Asgard were jerks in the movie, or Ra was an alien that first took an Asgard host then layered some Human over it?


Zesty posted:

Richard Kind’s character can be renamed to... RODNEY MCKAY.

YESS!!!

McSpanky
Jan 16, 2005






Brawnfire posted:

Well that's weird! As in, the Asgard were jerks in the movie, or Ra was an alien that first took an Asgard host then layered some Human over it?

Pretty sure it's the second thing. Also there's a bunch of "season 6" Atlantis books that are completely bonkers.

Brawnfire
Jul 13, 2004

Come play my CYOA!

Save your reality from the Constructors... then save all the rest of them.


McSpanky posted:

Pretty sure it's the second thing. Also there's a bunch of "season 6" Atlantis books that are completely bonkers.

I imagine him being very disappointed after taking over the Asgard host and finding out what their deal was...

mossyfisk
Nov 8, 2010

FF0000


What's left of the Goa'uld at the end of show, anyway? The political structure of the System Lords has collapsed, plus their own population culling - I assume the Jaffa are hunting down any they find. Are there any queens left, or is their civilization over?

Of course there's an entire planet of them left, on the homeworld. Perhaps the Tok'ra might recruit there, though I've no idea how the Unas would respond to that.

And yes I know you aren't meant to think this hard about stargate.

On a side note: do you think SGC ever told those Unas mining naquadah that the war is over? Because that's the only reason they agreed.

mossyfisk fucked around with this message at 16:14 on May 20, 2020

Rhyno
Mar 22, 2003

Google Image Results for
"Sexy Guy Gardner"


I think they said several times that Baal was the last System Lord.

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Son of Sam-I-Am
Feb 12, 2002





The last one in any position of power, I think is what they meant.

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