Stargate: "I do not understand why everything in the script must inevitably explode."

The Something Awful Forums > The Finer Arts > TV IV > Stargate: "I do not understand why everything in the script must inevitably explode."

General Emergency: Apr 2, 2009; Can we talk?

Flatscan posted:

No dude, watch the episode again. Their last attempt to fix the problem had given every single Asgard a disease which would kill them in months. All of them. Putting some scientists in a time dilation field wouldn't have helped, they would still only have a couple of months to work on the problem before they died. Once they had the disease they were already dead, just a matter of time.

I can see why you didn't like this end for the Asgard, but it's obviously what their story has been leading to since they were introduced. All four of the elder races, or at least the three we've come across, have huge flaws which act as warnings to humanity. Over-reliance on technology is the flaw of the Asgard and it's what destroyed them as a race.

That's even more retarded. An ancient superadvanced race of geniuses (with an unlimited supply of perfect clones to run tests on and infinite amount of time thanks to their time dilation fields) don't test the poo poo out of their "cure" and infects the entire population with some sort of spaceplague? Really? And all of them? Every Asgard spread around several galaxies caught the disease in the space of a few months. Plus the first news the viewers get of this is literally two minutes before they blow themselves up. We hadn't even seen them in like three season.

What? Shittiest writing I've ever seen. Still so angry. :argh:

Luckily someone posted this in the Star Trek thread and for some reason it makes me happy:

# ¿ May 30, 2011 14:34

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# ¿ Apr 19, 2024 23:06

General Emergency: Apr 2, 2009; Can we talk?

Yehudis Basya posted:

Totally possible. I was so bored with seasons 9 and 10, so my recollection of the Lucian alliance as being a bunch of scattered terrorist cells could be completely inaccurate.

I think the only episode I enjoyed from S9 and S10 was the one where those bugs attacked SG1 and Woolsey (they were like the beetles from The Mummy). But the only reason that episode was so much fun was because it made me feel all fuzzy for The Muumy.

Every episode with Woolsey was good because Bobby Picardo is so dreamy. :allears:

I haven't seen his run in Atlantis yet. Does he manage to pull that shitheap out of the water?

# ¿ Jun 1, 2011 06:24

General Emergency: Apr 2, 2009; Can we talk?

richardfun posted:

Teyla sucked fairly consistently.

In honour of the demise of the Stargate franchise, I've been rewatching my favourite episodes of SG1 and Atlantis. Turns out, that's more episodes than I initially thought.

McKay is easily my favourite character from the franchise. The rapport between McKay and Shepard was fantastic. If only the show wouldn't have had Teyla and Weir, the main cast would've been perfect.

Teyla does pretty effectively suck the fun out of anything. I remember in one episode she got mad at Shepard when he promised so save some colonists "if he could". What? As opposed to what? If he magically farts out a causality bending unicorn and saves them even if he can't?

God drat what a horribly written character.

# ¿ Jun 5, 2011 22:56

General Emergency: Apr 2, 2009; Can we talk?

The next Stargate series better be Wormhole EXTREME :argh:

# ¿ Jun 15, 2011 14:01

General Emergency: Apr 2, 2009; Can we talk?

I'd give a guy some nerd cred if he had one of the CRTs from he original dialing computer. Or O'Neill's couch or something.

# ¿ Jun 18, 2011 00:36

General Emergency: Apr 2, 2009; Can we talk?

edit: what the hell?

Oh well let's try again:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_kFtLZqZDts&feature=related

General Emergency fucked around with this message at 16:37 on Jun 20, 2011

# ¿ Jun 20, 2011 16:32

General Emergency: Apr 2, 2009; Can we talk?

spronk posted:

oh man I would totally watch an episode where Jonas tries to recruit Teal'c into scientology

"Xenu? I have never heard of such systemlord."

# ¿ Jun 21, 2011 19:03

General Emergency: Apr 2, 2009; Can we talk?

MadScientistWorking posted:

Well remember. They jumped in technology level because of the Goauld.

Plus that was the entire premise of the show "use the Stargate to acquire technology and allies to fight the gua'uld". It's a bit unfair to criticize the show when it actually does what it says it's going to do.

Though I agree they should've at least mentioned the big carrier type ships before introducing them. It's not really the level of technology in them either (all of which had been seen before: naquada generators, hyperdrive etc.) but just the size of them. It's hard to believe you could build something that's about the size an aircraft carrier and probably even more costly in complete secrecy.

# ¿ Jun 24, 2011 20:19

General Emergency: Apr 2, 2009; Can we talk?

Mortanis posted:

I seem to recall the first one built at Area 51. There was the episode with the reporter getting a sneak peak and then the ship got hijacked.

I liked that they at least tried some semblance of technological progression. Hacking a Death Glider > Making their own fighter ships > Big ships but bad hyperdrives > fully functional ships.

It just didn't make sense in the time they had. It was about 4 years from start to finish it seemed like. I'd imagine some of those ships taking years to build anyway. How did they get enough manpower to construct such a massive undertaking without it being leaked to the public? You can't build a ship that size with 4 people.

I don't find the timeframe implausible in the least. Look at the technological progression and rate of military production in WW2 and WW1. Four years is a long time when your back is against the wall and you have all the resources a nation has. It's just that it was done in secret that's the problem.

# ¿ Jun 24, 2011 22:09

General Emergency: Apr 2, 2009; Can we talk?

Polaron posted:

Atlantis has probably the largest pitched space battle in the entire Stargate franchise, and it's pretty much the show where we really get to see the technological insanity humanity is capable of (especially when it comes to creative applications of nuclear weaponry).

The creative usage of transporters was probably my favorite thing in Atlantis. The Asgard hand humans transporter technology but not weapons figuring it's a nice non-risky gift to a growing race. Humans weaponize it in about five minutes.

# ¿ Jul 12, 2011 07:16

General Emergency: Apr 2, 2009; Can we talk?

Rapey Joe Stalin posted:

From that story I got to the thing about his programme that's in development.

Teal'c is a loving idiot.

This is exactly why I don't want to know what artists & actors I like think about things. :eng99:

# ¿ Jul 24, 2011 21:01

General Emergency: Apr 2, 2009; Can we talk?

bobkatt013 posted:

Ha ha that is right. Also Teyla singing > SGU

Whoa let's not go crazy here. SGU did have the guy from Full Monty.

# ¿ Aug 15, 2011 04:45

General Emergency: Apr 2, 2009; Can we talk?

IRQ posted:

Wait, are you saying Rush wasn't awesome, let alone the best part of SG:U? Because Robert Carlyle carried that loving show. I mean Eli was ok-to-good, but Rush was the most compelling character for the majority of the run.

No he is saying Rush was the only awesome member of the SG:U cast. Or are you implying Teyla is awesome?

# ¿ Aug 29, 2011 09:04

General Emergency: Apr 2, 2009; Can we talk?

eating only apples posted:

I meant that there hasn't been a season 2 episode I've disliked so far. I did not enjoy Emancipation much at all. Wasn't a big fan of Hathor either.

Hathor was just kind of a disgusting episode with the worm baths and general sexism towards everyone. Thor's Chariot is awesome. That scene with the Asgard ship is still :black101:

as gently caress. Thor sure rides in style.

# ¿ Sep 7, 2011 14:13

General Emergency: Apr 2, 2009; Can we talk?

Rapey Joe Stalin posted:

Did you point out to him that in Star Trek 'character development' is a euphemism for receiving a promotion, or learning not to shoot phasers at the viewscreen ?

If you think that's the best ST can do, you seriously need to check out Deep Space 9.

# ¿ Oct 3, 2011 10:18

General Emergency: Apr 2, 2009; Can we talk?

If I still care what I look like at 60 I'll just off myself.

# ¿ Dec 14, 2011 13:51

General Emergency: Apr 2, 2009; Can we talk?

tenh19 posted:

I believe O'Neill was a AF Special Operations as well. I vaguely recall him saying he did Special Ops in the 80s, and I know that in the alternate timeline in Continuum, he was in Special Operations.

Although, just chalk it up to flyboy envy.

There was that one episode where they got stuck in virtual reality and O'Neill had to relive an assault where most of his squad got killed. So he was a special forces dude.

# ¿ Mar 16, 2012 13:41

General Emergency: Apr 2, 2009; Can we talk?

Quite a bit of the first season is bad. It's mostly about traveling to ~~woods near Vancouver~~ other planets through the Stargate but it gets spacey. The Egyptian stuff is mostly in aesthetics later on, but endures throughout the series when it comes to the Gua'uld (Even when it makes no sense, thanks to the budget. Chinese Emperor Gua'uld? Celtic god? Have a golden Egyptian pyramid.)

The Gua'uld aren't the only bad guys though and they aren't the focus of most episodes.

# ¿ Apr 18, 2012 07:02

General Emergency: Apr 2, 2009; Can we talk?

IRQ posted:

Acting and everything else about her aside, her character never had any goddamn reason to exist or be on any Atlantis away team.

She's there to be a strong woman by showing midriff.

# ¿ Apr 20, 2012 07:03

General Emergency: Apr 2, 2009; Can we talk?

Concidering how reliable the system isn't, it's probably written in PHP...

# ¿ Jul 25, 2012 06:23

General Emergency: Apr 2, 2009; Can we talk?

Actually it looks like he's lost quite a bit of weight. It's just all in his face somehow.

# ¿ Oct 12, 2012 08:59

General Emergency: Apr 2, 2009; Can we talk?

The funnier SG-1 movie that isn't an SG-1 movie is The Void. It's a movie about a particle accelerator creating a black hole. Starring Malcolm McDowell as the bad guy, Amanda Tapping as the scientist, Amanda Tapping's body double as a pair of boobs and Adrian Paul as love interest (Highlander from the 90's Highlander TV-series). It is not a good movie and Adrian Paul does not have a pony tail.

Available on Netflix.

# ¿ Jan 2, 2013 08:23

General Emergency: Apr 2, 2009; Can we talk?

Or you jump away the first chance you get. You escape the monotony of your existence, becoming a vagabond among the stars. You travel from one gate to another, searching for new and exiting jello flavors unlike anything Earth has tasted. Years later you return to Earth and begin a conquest of the after lunch snack markets with your new line of pudding products, dominating your competition with products centuries more advanced than theirs.

# ¿ Jan 4, 2013 14:33

General Emergency: Apr 2, 2009; Can we talk?

For the Euros: All 10 seasons of SG-1 just went up on Netflix.

# ¿ Jan 4, 2013 22:29

General Emergency: Apr 2, 2009; Can we talk?

bobkatt013 posted:

They learned from Doctor Who were every episode had a sweet sweet quarry.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hS0bCSLx8JI

I swear there was a similar scene in some SG-1 episode...

# ¿ Jan 17, 2013 06:53

General Emergency: Apr 2, 2009; Can we talk?

Luigi Thirty posted:

Teal'c at the Vagina Monologues.

Hmm.. When you stop and think about it Teal'c has a giant set of "reproductive organs on the inside". He should be right at home.

You shouldn't stop to think about it.

# ¿ Jul 13, 2015 17:33

General Emergency: Apr 2, 2009; Can we talk?

I wish Teyla was a Teal'c knockoff. She's the worst part of the entire show.

# ¿ Jul 28, 2015 07:12

General Emergency: Apr 2, 2009; Can we talk?

A licensed Stargate XCOM game would be a perfect. Ah well. At least we got. Uh... loving nothing? Apparently there was some Tetris game for the movie on the Gameboy. Nice.

# ¿ Feb 22, 2018 10:10

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# ¿ Apr 19, 2024 23:06

General Emergency: Apr 2, 2009; Can we talk?

Jedit posted:

If there's one thing you can't accuse Stargate SG-1 of, it's being lazy with the clip episodes. They were deliberately planned to fit in the arc so they could spend extra money on the other episodes, rather than covering up that they'd run out of cash.

I can blame them for that since it means you kind of want to see them but not really because they are still just clipshow episodes.

# ¿ Mar 9, 2018 14:37

The Something Awful Forums > The Finer Arts > TV IV > Stargate: "I do not understand why everything in the script must inevitably explode."