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Mr. Funny Pants
Apr 9, 2001



zeroprime posted:

Texas had it's own nation shaking massacre http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Charles_Whitman

I'm as bothered as you by the, "If only they had more guns," argument, and I'm pro-gun. However, this incident isn't one you want to use. Armed citizens were credited with pinning Whitman down with their own returned fire and a quickly deputized and armed citizen who knew the layout of the tower helped police get to and kill Whitman.

quote:

I wonder how many people he could have taken out if he had an assault rifle

Almost certainly fewer. Assault rifles have shorter range than the guns he was using. Some of the kills were well out of an AK-47's effective range, and at the edge of the M-16's. For the type of killing that Whitman did, hunting rifles are the most effective, which is what he had. Whitman had a lifetime of gun handling and Marine training. Put that together with his methamphetamine and alcohol abuse, failure in school, and possibly the brain tumor he had, and the availability of hunting rifles seems far down the list of causes for what happened. There are many countries with gun control far stricter than ours that allow hunting rifles. None of the major gun control groups here have ever moved to ban them.

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Mr. Funny Pants
Apr 9, 2001



Bruce Leroy posted:

That's some pretty classic fearmongering, including the oft-mentioned conservative trope that the UN is trying to ban private gun ownership.

Non-insane gun enthusiasts have been trying to swat this one down for years. I've lost count of how many times I've tried to debunk it in various gun forums. You need 67 votes in the Senate to ratify a treaty, and at no time during Obama's presidency could you get 67 votes declaring the sky blue. And even granting the virtual impossibility of it passing, the treaty explicitly says that nations retain control of their internal gun laws.

Hell, Obama signed a bill (the big consumer credit protection act) with a pro-gun amendment ending Reagan's ban on firearms in national parks. Obama obviously wouldn't have signed it if he had a choice, but he didn't think it was a big enough deal to veto the thing.

Mr. Funny Pants
Apr 9, 2001



Doctor Butts posted:

HIS tower did not fall down.

Quick primer for those who don't know his show: Phil Hendrie is a radio host whose show consists of Hendrie playing the hapless host interviewing guests who are usually so batshit crazy that the phones are lit up with callers. But the guests aren't real, they are Hendrie talking to himself since he's a freakishly good voice actor. So basically his show is a hilarious trolling session.

Anyway, not long after 9/11, Hendrie had a "guest" who was promoting a coffee table book that would benefit 9/11 survivors. The book was a collection of erotic (but tasteful!) photos of 9/11 widows in lingerie.

The title was, "The Towers are Down, but Your Tower is Up."

I don't think I ever heard the callers as infuriated as they were during that show. Some of them sounded like they were foaming at the mouth. It was glorious.

Mr. Funny Pants
Apr 9, 2001



redmercer posted:

Er, the word, not the substance itself.

Talk about sticky pages.

Mr. Funny Pants
Apr 9, 2001



Install Gentoo posted:

Yeah you name the conservative conspiracy theory and the Onion has it covered.


The underlined "as promised" is awesome.

Mr. Funny Pants
Apr 9, 2001



Helsing posted:

I don't think any other industrialized country in the world would consider the New York Times a particularly left wing newspaper, especially not with Thomas Friedman and David Brookes as regular commentators.

The right has spent the last two decades defining, redefining, and perverting what "left wing" means in the U.S.

Mr. Funny Pants
Apr 9, 2001



Another thing is that the plane he says crashed into the Empire State Building didn't exist. He says it was B-52 instead of a B-17. The former is a gigantic multi-engined jet as opposed to a prop-plane that could literally be parked under one wing of the B-52.

But let's grant that it was just a typo. The comparison is still idiotic. The two planes that hit the towers had fuel capacities of around 24,000 gallons. The B-17 that hit the ESB had less than five thousand gallons. And the speed difference was massive, and the towers were nothing like the ESB structurally, and....

Mr. Funny Pants
Apr 9, 2001



Riptor posted:

It was actually a B-25

Hi everyone, I'm a loving idiot who corrected an inaccurate dipshit with another inaccuracy. Hurf durf.

Mr. Funny Pants
Apr 9, 2001



quote:

How much has been spent on bike lanes? Too much.

He's got a point. Bike lane expenditures are the fourth highest in the federal budget behind Social Security, Medicare, and military spending. Paint and asphalt don't grow on trees.

Mr. Funny Pants
Apr 9, 2001



Glitterbomber posted:

War is hell, man, we'll never know...

*pisses on a corpse while his buddies laugh him on*

I'd actually understand what they did more if it had been on living people. It still would have been disgusting and idiotic and wrong, but it makes sense in the, "Haha, we're doing something to you that you don't like," way.

But they're dead. There's not much better way of getting over on someone than killing them. You won dude, we get it.

"You know, I thought you punked me when you shot me in the head, but it wasn't until you pissed on me that I said, 'Touche'. Well played chaps."

Mr. Funny Pants
Apr 9, 2001



Also, to put the lie into perspective, Jonathan Turley is in favor of "legalizing" polygamy meaning that it's not illegal, not that the government or churches must recognize it. He's representing some Mormon polygamists who are being charged under Utah's anti-polygamy laws. Turley is simply saying that the state can't make it a crime.

Mr. Funny Pants
Apr 9, 2001



Toffile posted:

Not entirely political, but uh, this was written for a major NYC newspaper.

That's where you made your mistake.

Mr. Funny Pants
Apr 9, 2001



Borneo Jimmy posted:

Yes, this metaphor is much more comprehensible.

I prefer, if you had one dollar for every dollar in the national debt, you'd have 1.3 trillion dollars.

Mr. Funny Pants
Apr 9, 2001



Walter posted:

No, but that kind of useless analogy seems to be the go-to.

I recall a similar one showing bales of $1 bills, on pallets to show how much money Wall Street had or something.

Frankly, I think a much more useful metric would be... how many students could you send to Harvard, full-ride for 4 years, for the price of a single F-22 Raptor?

720+.

Somehow those kinds of comparisons never get out. I wonder why.

I love this example to explain the difference between a million and a billion. Lots of people figure they aren't that different; hey, there's lots of billionaires, how far off can it be?

One million seconds take around 11 days to elapse.
One billion seconds take around 33 years.
Hell, throw in a trillion. 33,000 years.

I'd wager that if you asked people how many seconds there are in a typical lifetime, they'd think it was some inconceivable number. Nope, just a bit over two billion.

Mr. Funny Pants
Apr 9, 2001



Androc posted:

The 'not sure' on these questions always just slays me.

"Well, gosh, both sides have good points..."

"It's so tough. On the one hand, they are people and we're supposed to be equal. On the other hand, you know, darkies."

Mr. Funny Pants
Apr 9, 2001



VideoTapir posted:

If you want to overload on "but THEY are the real racists" and "I don't see what's wrong with >stereotype<" and "you can't be racist against a race that lovely," with an extra helping of "they're not a race, so it isn't racist" come join the fun.

I hate when people use genocides.

Mr. Funny Pants fucked around with this message at Feb 3, 2013 around 00:07

Mr. Funny Pants
Apr 9, 2001



Brennanite posted:

Finally, my love of small town papers pays off! Check out this gem, posted on an article about a local representative's response to the proposed immigration reform.

Exhibit 4503 supporting the, "FREQUENCY OF ALL CAPS WORDS CORRELATES WITH IDIOCY" hypothesis.

Mr. Funny Pants
Apr 9, 2001



Nice Davis posted:

In all fairness to her these signs are actually pretty dumb, just like signs that say "Watch for Falling Rocks", "Children Playing", and other static notifications for fluidly occurring hazards that drivers should be looking out for anyway.

Brian Regan posted:

I saw this sign posted once, it said, "Blasting Zone Ahead". Shouldn't that read: "Road Closed"?

Mr. Funny Pants
Apr 9, 2001



Zeroisanumber posted:

If Beyonce influences young girls to do anything it will be to replace their puny human forms with a being made of raw ambition, and I'm not certain that that's a bad thing.

I think Beyonce is nuts, but if she can also influence girls and women to understand that their thighs, hips, and rear end don't have to be the size of a 9 year old's, that would be great too.

Mr. Funny Pants
Apr 9, 2001



Just for the record, pretty much everyone in TFR would find that letter ridiculous.

Mr. Funny Pants
Apr 9, 2001



Fulchrum posted:

Because criminals are well known for giving a victim ample time to allow them to ready their weapon, as well as letting them move as much as they want.

Are you saying that regular people never successfully use firearms against criminals? I've got lots of news stories saved where the victim already had a gun pointed at them and still managed to defend themselves.

The frequency of defensive gun use is a hotly contested topic, but no one denies they happen in significant numbers.

Mr. Funny Pants
Apr 9, 2001



VideoTapir posted:

The problem is reports of this tend to be on sites like WND or examiner.com. It would be nice to see some actual data on it.

The collection of links I have are all from mainstream news sources, either local newspapers or local TV stations. Here's a few:

http://m.spokesman.com/stories/2013...etain-intruder/
http://www.chron.com/news/houston-t...eet-4415402.php
http://www.myfoxdfw.com/story/21993...e-everman-store
http://www.philly.com/philly/news/l..._apartment.html
http://www.wfmz.com/news/news-regio...k5/-/index.html
http://seattletimes.com/html/localn...tsintruder.html
http://www.timesreporter.com/commun...t-home-invasion
http://www.azfamily.com/news/Tempe-...-203691451.html
http://www.nola.com/crime/index.ssf...ng_suspect.html
http://news.yahoo.com/alleged-penn-...-004819256.html
http://myfox8.com/2013/04/07/police...otte-apartment/
http://www.officer.com/news/1092984...-kills-intruder
http://kptv.m0bl.net/w/main/story/91007854/

The data, as I said, is very controversial. At one end of the spectrum you have people like Lott and Kleck who put the number over a million. At the other end are researchers like Hemenway who extrapolate the number from the National Crime Victimization Survey and come up with a number somewhere between 50,000 and 100,000. Whatever the number is, it is now almost certainly lower than those estimates because the research was mostly done in the 90s, and crime has continued its downward trend.

Mr. Funny Pants
Apr 9, 2001



Fulchrum posted:

I believe you've mixed up the words controversial and anecdotal.

I believe you edited out what came after "controversial". I was directly referring to the formal research done by criminologists, economists, etc. The list of links was separate from that and answered two things: the implication that regular people never successfully defend themselves against armed criminals, and that the only place you can find news stories of said is from unreliable non-mainstream websites.

Mr. Funny Pants
Apr 9, 2001



Install Gentoo posted:

Fact is that small time local papers tend to be more than happy to print anything people send in.

And they don't have to be tiny. My hometown had a population well over 100,000 when I was in high school. I went through this phase where I thought writing letters to the editor was cool and look how I'm owning these adults and blah blah blah, because I was stupid. Anyway, had several dozen letters printed in a few years and if I recall correctly, I only ever had one not printed. I'd like to think it's because of my brilliant logic and elegant prose, but this was a paper that regularly posted letters (from the same gang of idiots) explaining how every Democrat was a socialist/Marxist, etc.

Mr. Funny Pants
Apr 9, 2001



MaxxBot posted:

I always read this guy's articles because he is absolutely off his loving rocker but also because like freepers he is sometimes brutally honest about to extent to which his insane beliefs have drove him apart from all of his friends and family. Of course the conclusion he comes to is that they're all indoctrinated by the evil homosexual agenda .

Jesus, that was amazing. I was going to do a Fire Joe Morgan treatment on the whole thing, but I'll just stick with this:

quote:

Many FOX News viewers worry about the tireless push by secularists to turn the day into a December recess between World AIDS Day and Anderson Cooper watching the ball drop in Times Square.

Why didn't he just say what he meant? You can feel him straining to hold back. What he meant was:

quote:

Many FOX News viewers worry about the tireless push by secularists to turn the day into a December recess between World Fags Day and faggoty fag fag Anderson Cooper watching the ball drop in Times Square.

Mr. Funny Pants
Apr 9, 2001



You have to give him credit for sourcing. Where better to get an accurate figure for fraud and waste in government than, "Americans"?

Mr. Funny Pants
Apr 9, 2001



PeterWeller posted:

Because it shows that the author clearly doesn't at all understand the point of the show - Galifanakis is playing an awkward and terrible interviewer who can't know his guests down a peg despite all his efforts.

For gently caress sake, Bradley Cooper slaps him in his episode. And many guests fire back at him.

Mr. Funny Pants
Apr 9, 2001



cafel posted:

It's true that in this case it was straight up satire, but Colbert has previously been caught doing his fake Asian accent as a straight up joke when he thought he wasn't in the public eye.

You were kidding, right? The "intercepted satellite feed" was a bit. It was another example of the Colbert character being an insensitive imbecile.

Mr. Funny Pants
Apr 9, 2001



cafel posted:

Huh, watched the clip all the way through and it was a bit different than how I had remembered. Thought it had a more serious and apologetic tone. Of course the last time I saw it was over eight years ago, guess my memory of my early teen years is starting to go, I have a false memory of there being some controversy over the whole thing, but googling it doesn't bring up anything. The current furor makes even less sense then.

No problem. My memory is shot beyond belief.

Mr. Funny Pants
Apr 9, 2001



computer parts posted:

*Which, incidentally, is lower than what you would pay for a game in real dollars compared with 15-20 years ago.

The hot game for Christmas that I got for my Colecovision was the port of Zaxxon. And because it had super duper simulated 3D graphics, the price was... $50. That's in the early 80s. As much as it stings me to pay $60 for a game, there is no doubt that games, relative to inflation and the cost of development, are dirt cheap. Christ, I remember paying $30 for Super Breakout for the 2600.

Mr. Funny Pants
Apr 9, 2001



OneThousandMonkeys posted:

With the advent of digital gaming, people who pay $60 for a game look like chumps, especially if it turns out the game is bad. Most games can be had for $5 within 3-4 months of release, unless they are console only.

I understand that. I'm one of those who waits until they get down to dirt cheap levels. I was just pointing out that today's games are, even at full price, a remarkable bargain when put alongside games from over thirty years ago.

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Mr. Funny Pants
Apr 9, 2001



Mineaiki posted:

It's more that he doesn't realize that a lot of people in this country in the '80s were really hoping that all the Homosexuals, Haitians, and Heroin users (the three Hs associated with AIDS) would just die off. If they weren't hoping, they were at best unwilling to lift a finger or be made uncomfortable by things like health campaigns that mentioned gayness in order to stop it. Associating AIDS with sex in general like you said was a big victory, because before it was "well maybe if you weren't a enjoyable human being God wouldn't have decided to give you a horrible death." He doesn't even see the transition happening, AIDS is just some vague scary thing to him, and not the name of a really dark chapter in American social history.

I hit puberty just before AIDS became a thing. I poo poo you not, aside from an unwanted pregnancy, the most terrifying worst case scenario for sex was...

HERPES.

I swear to god, you would have thought that herpes was AIDS, ebola, and small pox combined. The speed at which herpes went from destroyer of lives to quaint memory was amazing.

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