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Doronin
Nov 22, 2002

Don't be scared

MindlessHavok posted:

I can't find any of his posts right now because for whatever reason pewter-report.com is blocked at work but there's a guy there that is literally the dumbest person ever or the most consistent troll I've ever seen.

He thinks that:

  • Josh Freeman is a bust and we should have drafted Sanchez instead
  • Tim Tebow is a better QB than Freeman and if we couldn't have gotten Sanchez we should have waited on Tebow
  • Tebow/Sanchez will be in the HOF and Freeman will be out of the league in 2 years.
  • Raheem Morris has no idea what he's doing and he lucked into last season. He should be fired and Urban Meyer should be brought in (noticing a theme?)
  • Jeff Faine is the greatest center in the game and deserves a better QB like Drew Brees.

When I can get home and look up the rest of the stuff he posts I'll share here. The guy is insane but refuses to back down off his views.

I don't know what it is about Gator fans who are also Bucs fans, but the ones that actually call Bucs PR to voice complaints are thoroughly insane. Example A, the guy you're talking about.

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Cash Monet
Apr 5, 2009

Anals of History posted:

This crime is sorta in the same catagory as a first DUI or simple drug possession; a lot of college students do it.

Hahahahahaha.

"Come on guys, our first larceny rings weren't squeaky clean either."

AAAAA! Real Muenster
Jul 12, 2008

My QB is also named Bort

maybe I'm just tired but what does PR even stand for?

Ben Has Tiny Weenus
Feb 17, 2007
MSU Will Not Be National Champions

So I really should learn to shut the hole under my nose.

Mickey McKey posted:

maybe I'm just tired but what does PR even stand for?

Public Relations

Technowrite
Jan 18, 2006

I first battled the Metroids on Planet Zebes.
Didn't think I'd actually have some content because I don't lurk the Rivals forums too much, but I found this picture this morning on the South Carolina Rivals board. A Clemson football player/track and field athlete was recently suspended from both teams as it was revealed he may have been involved in a domestic dispute with his girlfriend -- who is also a track athlete. The incident apparently involved a bath rod. Here's the hilariously bad PhotoShop:

Joey Freshwater
Jun 20, 2004

Always playing with my meat
Grimey Drawer

Doronin posted:

I don't know what it is about Gator fans who are also Bucs fans, but the ones that actually call Bucs PR to voice complaints are thoroughly insane. Example A, the guy you're talking about.

I'm always excited when the Bucs draft a Vol (yay Stocker) but I've never gotten to the point of being that retarded.

RumbleFish
Dec 20, 2007

Here's a classic conspiracy theory brought to you by the Fighting Gamecocks Forum, which is the free Rivals board:

quote:

Garcia and quempsum: Does anyone have this concern?

It is not out of the question (to me anyway) that some quempsum supporter (s) try and set up Garcia in someway that gets him into trouble again. Because all Garcia has to do is breath wrong and he is gone for good and nothing would make the tater bunch happier. Just a thought.

Very first response?

quote:

It's been done before.

:spooky:

That Works
Jul 22, 2006

Every revolution evaporates and leaves behind only the slime of a new bureaucracy


RumbleFish posted:

Here's a classic conspiracy theory brought to you by the Fighting Gamecocks Forum, which is the free Rivals board:


Very first response?


:spooky:

Quempsum?

Kurgarra Queen
Jun 11, 2008

GIVE ME MORE
SUPER BOWL
WINS
Here's a brilliant theory in regards to Buffalo's porous run defense:

quote:

not trying to start anything here fans, but our run D' was the worst in the league because kyle williams is giving up too much in terms of size as a nose. yes he's good but not a NT!!! THUS, this is the reason i personally believe we need to start troup and or heard or jasper in the middle not KYLE!!! So until we do that we will not have a successful run front! your thoughts fans???
You can tell this poster is brilliant due to his unconventional disregard for such things as punctuation and capitalization. Clearly, his sage wisdom is to be heeded, as by far the best player on our entire defense and perhaps our football team who is objectively awesome is actually the problem.

RumbleFish
Dec 20, 2007

Breaky posted:

Quempsum?

Clemson. Don't ask; I have no idea. Most retarded USC fans on the Internet use Clempson or Clemscum, so I guess that particular spelling is some kind of unholy combination. Perhaps it's meant as mockery of a thick Southern accent.

Cash Monet
Apr 5, 2009

Lance of Llanwyln posted:

Here's a brilliant theory in regards to Buffalo's porous run defense:

You can tell this poster is brilliant due to his unconventional disregard for such things as punctuation and capitalization. Clearly, his sage wisdom is to be heeded, as by far the best player on our entire defense and perhaps our football team who is objectively awesome is actually the problem.

The fact that he didn't bring up Dareus at all makes me question his analysis of defensive philosophies.

Trin Tragula
Apr 22, 2005

This thread is going to die so hard when Gendo starts posting poo poo from the Gopher Hole.

terrin
May 10, 2005

RumbleFish posted:

Clemson. Don't ask; I have no idea. Most retarded USC fans on the Internet use Clempson or Clemscum, so I guess that particular spelling is some kind of unholy combination. Perhaps it's meant as mockery of a thick Southern accent.

I think it's like a child might say it, or like when you're belittling someone complaining about trivial poo poo

"awww po lil quempsom"

Rousimar Pauladeen
Feb 27, 2007

I hate the mods I hate the mods I hate the mods! I HATE THE MODS I HATE THE MODS I HATE THE MODS! Hey wait a minute why do the mods hate me I'm contributing to the conversation I HATE THE MODS I HATE THE MODS I HA
I can't find one since it has been so long since football season but killerfrogs.com used to have this guy do these longwinded motivational pregame speeches.

Boo This Man
Mar 25, 2008

All these posts and not one mention of Danny Boy Cane?

Ben Has Tiny Weenus
Feb 17, 2007
MSU Will Not Be National Champions

So I really should learn to shut the hole under my nose.

Boo This Man posted:

All these posts and not one mention of Danny Boy Cane?

It's not cool to post about someone posthumously.

Nereid
Sep 17, 2009

I am a leaf on the wind, watch how I soar
I want to post some Cocky Talk highlights, but every time I go to that board, I am filled with such rage that I close the tab every time. Such. Idiocy.

Joey Freshwater
Jun 20, 2004

Always playing with my meat
Grimey Drawer
Found a post by the guy I was talking about earlier:

http://www.pewterreport.com/Boards/index.php/topic,1281102.0.html

Jdog posted:

Topic: Gruden never went 3 years in a row without making the playoffs

Since Raheem failed to make the playoffs his first 2 years, if he doesn't make the playoffs in his 3rd season, should he be fired? Or should the team just accept mediocrity and let him continue to miss the playoffs year after year?


And some replies:

NovaBuc posted:


Gruden's largest increase in victories from one year to the next was 6, Raheem's is 7. Raheem wins.


Jdog posted:

Had Raheem himself not caused that pathetic 3-13 season, I'd agree with you. But really he went from a 9-7 team that beat a lot of teams with winning records to a 10-6 team that beat one team with a winning record.


So you guys don't seem to care if the Bucs make the playoffs. As long as they keep bringing in young rookies with "potential", you guys are dazzled. It's too bad most of Tampa doesn't agree with that way of thinking or the games wouldn't be blacked out.



and it goes on like this for a while.

terrin
May 10, 2005

MindlessHavok posted:

Found a post by the guy I was talking about earlier:


it's amazing to me that fans of a team with such obvious upside could be this malcontent. That offense is gonna be pretty awesome soon


ed: actually I guess it's not the crazy given Pats fans can be as malcontent with a team that is presently a winner

nuncle jimbo
Apr 3, 2009

:pcgaming:

terrin posted:

it's amazing to me that fans of a team with such obvious upside could be this malcontent. That offense is gonna be pretty awesome soon


ed: actually I guess it's not the crazy given Pats fans can be as malcontent with a team that is presently a winner

no but you see the Pats defense is HARRIBLE and here's why

HeroOfTheRevolution
Apr 26, 2008

Patriots fans are probably the most pessimistic in the league. Sure, our team went 14-2 playing a tough schedule in what was supposed to be a rebuilding year and almost the entire team is now under the age of like 28, but man does this team SAHCK.

Joey Freshwater
Jun 20, 2004

Always playing with my meat
Grimey Drawer

terrin posted:

it's amazing to me that fans of a team with such obvious upside could be this malcontent. That offense is gonna be pretty awesome soon


ed: actually I guess it's not the crazy given Pats fans can be as malcontent with a team that is presently a winner

After reading more and paying attention to what he says there's no way this guy isn't just an elaborate troll. I refuse to believe someone is that ridiculous. Literally EVERYTHING the new staff on the Bucs does is the wrong decision. There's not one single player from the Bucs draft that he approved of.

Arschlochkind
Mar 29, 2010

:stare:
On Mario Williams:

quote:

I'm sort of leaning to saying yes to trading him for 2 quality starters. Give me quality safety and a WR for him or like the OP mentioned, another quality DE. Almost every season he's been injured and he's racked up double digit sacks at the back end of the season when we needed things to fall into place to make the post-season....not when we were in control. Yes...i'm saying it, almost like trash time stats.

Week 14 or something....woow...look, he got 3.5 sacks. How about making those sacks in crucial moments of a game to put your team in control of their destiny. Mario's no game-changing DE. It's just not part of his persona. So if I can get two quality starters than can help in two key areas for one quality DE, which is the most Mario's ever been....I'll take it.

Cash Monet
Apr 5, 2009

Arschlochkind posted:

On Mario Williams:

That goes great with your av.

HappyHelmet
Apr 9, 2003

Hail to the king baby!
Grimey Drawer

Arschlochkind posted:

On Mario Williams:

I like how he would be ok with trading Mario Williams for another quality DE. :stare: indeed.

Marketing New Brain
Apr 26, 2008
If only Mario Williams were as healthy as that other guy they should have taken, Reggie Bush.

RustySeabutter
Nov 11, 2000

Puncho!

Marketing New Brain posted:

If only Mario Williams were as healthy as that other guy they should have taken, Reggie Bush.

they wanted vince young soooo bad

Cash Monet
Apr 5, 2009

AdamD posted:

they wanted vince young soooo bad

Over Charlie Caserly's cold, dead, old man glasses.

McKracken
Jun 17, 2005

Lets go for a run!

commy gun posted:

Over Charlie Caserly's cold, dead, old man glasses.

There's something that really creeps me out about Casserly's mannerisms. It's almost painful to watch/listen to him speak and and he never seems well put together.



More caste fun. First up, shocking allegations that Tolzien was undrafted due to his skin color, complete with a comparison to a QB from a different draft class with remarkably different skillsets.

quote:

A qb that was surprisingly undrafted was Scott Tolzien.He's a very good player,smart,accurate and lead his team to a big ten title who was slightly more productive than Dennis Dixon a 5th round pick while playing against better defenses.If he were Black he would definately of been drafted.


And now tons of :qq: about Matt Jones now that Plaxico is out of jail. And some really, really bad puns.

quote:

This guy hasn't played since 2008 and is 33 years old, numerous off the field issues. Matt Jones is bigger, faster and younger yet no one is talking about his return....I guess the "shot" with the Bengals was the last time he would play in the NFL, they could have used him last year but cut him.

quote:

All I can think about is Matt Jones, who didn't go to prison but couldn't get a contract. Then, after only one year away from the game, and still in his prime, he was deemed slow and washed up.

quote:

PlaxiYO can't carry Matt Jones' jockstrap & has NO business back in the NFL...period.

quote:

Since he is one of the very rare black affletes to actually do prison time for his crimes, there is going to be tons of sympathy for Burress.

Speaking of the way Matt Jones has been screwed over compared to Burress, I'll always remember how Burress and record setting UCLA receiver Danny Farmer were both drafted by the Steelers in 2000. Farmer had a far better collegiate career and had virtually the same time in the 40 as Burress (Burress had timed .01 faster). But Burress was always labeled as "fast" by the Pittsburgh media and Farmer "slow." Farmer could jump like a kangaroo and was very smart; Burress was a poor jumper who showed up for his rookie training camp in a stretch limo dressed like a pimp. But Farmer was the one who was hated by his teammates, Bill Cowher, and the white whores in the Pittsburgh media and ended up being cut in his rookie training camp, while the underachieving Burress was given several seasons as a starter before finally putting it together.


quote:

Its sad that receivers like Blair White dont get drafted and have to work their tails off to prove themselves while losers like Burress get a free pass though not as talented.

quote:

Jude "Blowsenhouse" sickens me to no end...typical money-grubbin', parasitic, cultmarx tribesman. He probably was "punkin" for PlaxiYO on the limo ride from the pen.


quote:

Plastic-hoe Burra$$ doesn't deserve to be anywhere near a football field, except maybe to clean up the grounds. Of course he'd never do work like that. I sure hope Eli doesn't start lobbying for Burra$$'s return.

WinnebagoWarrior
Apr 8, 2009

I eat Rotheseburgehergh's like you for breakfast
On the other hand, seeing things like Plastic-hoe Burra$$ is why I come on the internet.

Dattserberg
Dec 30, 2005

National champion, Heisman winner, King crab enthusiast
Would this be an appropriate place for horrible "sigs" too? My goodness are some of those things hilarious, especially on ExtremeSkins.

nuncle jimbo
Apr 3, 2009

:pcgaming:
haha yeah black people never have to go to jail


I hate sports fans.

Bloopsy
Jun 1, 2006

you have been visited by the Tasty Garlic Bread. you will be blessed by having good Garlic Bread in your life time, but only if you comment "ty garlic bread" in the thread below

WinnebagoWarrior posted:

Plastic-hoe Burra$$

I want to make this my username.

MourningView
Sep 2, 2006


Is this Heaven?

Dattserberg posted:

Would this be an appropriate place for horrible "sigs" too? My goodness are some of those things hilarious, especially on ExtremeSkins.

I believe it has been scientifically determined that 75% of the space in all Rivals threads is occupied by sigs.

Cash Monet
Apr 5, 2009

McKracken posted:

There's something that really creeps me out about Casserly's mannerisms. It's almost painful to watch/listen to him speak and and he never seems well put together.

He's just an older dude from a different era, but that doesn't make him any less of an analyst/GM.

Kalli
Jun 2, 2001



commy gun posted:

He's just an older dude from a different era, but that doesn't make him any less of an analyst/GM.

He did manage to say something that got Belichick to respond with:

Belichick posted:

"Who's been wrong more than Charley Casserly since he left the Redskins? Wherever he's been, whatever he's done, his percentage is like a meteorologist...He has no relationship with this team, I'd say less than zero. He's never here, I don't know if he's ever been to a game. He's never been to a practice...at least he put his name on it and I'll put my name on it and say, like he usually is, he's 100-percent wrong."

Which pretty much sounds like what you'd read on a message board come to think of it.

Democrazy
Oct 16, 2008

If you're not willing to lick the boot, then really why are you in politics lol? Everything is a cycle of just getting stomped on so why do you want to lose to it over and over, just submit like me, I'm very intelligent.
Michael Strahah has come out in support of same-sex marriage, ESPN did a story, and the comments section is really something else to read. Anything that is political is always fun.

http://sports.espn.go.com/newyork/conversations/_/id/6649146/michael-strahan-latest-support-ny-same-sex-marriage

Cash Monet
Apr 5, 2009

Kalli posted:

He did manage to say something that got Belichick to respond with:


Which pretty much sounds like what you'd read on a message board come to think of it.

He got angry when Peter King questioned one of his moves too, didn't he? Seems like this Belichick fellow doesn't take criticism well.

I will always consider Charlie credible having picked Mario Williams over Bush and made that Ricky Williams trade.

B.F. Hoodrich
May 16, 2006
welp

Democrazy posted:

Michael Strahah has come out in support of same-sex marriage, ESPN did a story, and the comments section is really something else to read. Anything that is political is always fun.

http://sports.espn.go.com/newyork/conversations/_/id/6649146/michael-strahan-latest-support-ny-same-sex-marriage

Man, reading those comments is really, really depressing. :(

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RustySeabutter
Nov 11, 2000

Puncho!

Democrazy posted:

Michael Strahah has come out in support of same-sex marriage, ESPN did a story, and the comments section is really something else to read. Anything that is political is always fun.

http://sports.espn.go.com/newyork/conversations/_/id/6649146/michael-strahan-latest-support-ny-same-sex-marriage

Happy Holidays, Merry X-mas, Abortion, Condoms for Kindergärtners, No prayer in school, marriage for gays, No ten commandments in court houses, no nativity scenes on public property, no Bible on the hand in court...These are all things the gays and atheists want and things you are destroying this great nation with.

Gays and Atheists are weakening and destroying this great nation...err Progressive Liberals.

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