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TontoCorazon
Aug 18, 2007


John Melaney is a pretty funny comedian but that commercial for that show was pretty bad.

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ElwoodCuse
Jan 11, 2004

we're puttin' the band back together

There's this match dot com ad where some guy whines about how this girl he liked dated someone else before he could do the "conversion". Is that godawful PUA poo poo or does it just sound like it?

Grassy Knowles
Apr 4, 2003

Oh, oh, telephone line, give me some time, I'm living in twilight


CellBlock posted:

And now there's an outtakes version or something where it's just the guy without all the CGI and background stuff standing there flubbing the lines.

This, I want to see. My housemate and I refer to him as a poor-man's Scott Bakula.

ElectricSheep
Jan 14, 2006

she had tiny Italian boobs.
Well that's my story.


ElwoodCuse posted:

There's this match dot com ad where some guy whines about how this girl he liked dated someone else before he could do the "conversion". Is that godawful PUA poo poo or does it just sound like it?

Perhaps he's a Scientologist.

Capn Beeb
Jun 29, 2003



Has anyone seen my hack saw?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K8QoiWG4S9g

I want to kill some kids with my hack saw.

vyst
Aug 25, 2009



ElwoodCuse posted:

There's this match dot com ad where some guy whines about how this girl he liked dated someone else before he could do the "conversion". Is that godawful PUA poo poo or does it just sound like it?

Hhahahaaha I saw this commercial and thought the same thing.

TontoCorazon
Aug 18, 2007


Capn Beeb posted:

Has anyone seen my hack saw?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K8QoiWG4S9g

I want to kill some kids with my hack saw.

I never thought I'd ever get to see hipster kids. That chubby kid looks like he should be playing the bass for death cab for cutie. Also that commercial sucks almost as much as the product.

Unknowable Hole
Feb 2, 2005




Pillbug

http://www.ispot.tv/ad/7GlP/credit-...my-credit-score

Is this supposed to be funny or endearing in some way?

Mister Kingdom
Dec 14, 2005

And the tears that fall
On the city wall
Will fade away
With the rays of morning light

captainoblivious posted:

http://www.ispot.tv/ad/7GlP/credit-...my-credit-score

Is this supposed to be funny or endearing in some way?

Nope. And it does it so well.

MrSlam
Apr 25, 2014

And there you sat, eating hamburgers while the world cried.

captainoblivious posted:

http://www.ispot.tv/ad/7GlP/credit-...my-credit-score

Is this supposed to be funny or endearing in some way?

"So I remember my GPA from college, uh, and I know my IQ, uh, and I know, uh, and I know what blood type I have...uh huh," the woman in yellow felt more than confident about her place in the grand schema of life. But something crept to her mouth. A forgotten fear that yearned to be spoken aloud, if only so it could be quashed and destroyed. "I don't know my credit score."

"You don't you know your credit score?" said her friend.

"I don't know my credit score..." she defied the world to prove her unworthy.

"That's really important, I mean...do you want to buy a house, like, ever?"

The woman in yellow's jaw dropped in shock. She tried to formulate an answer but the words crumbled in her mouth. The only thing that came to mind was the wordless language of the reptilian brain gaping open in hysteria. Surprise, grief, anxiety, fear. The cold naked reality of it all soaked into her skin and gripped her by the ribcage. She looked off in the distance as though an answer to her silent questions would pop out from behind a bush.

Horror washed over like a cold shower. Her eyes instinctively grew wide and her stomach seized up. The future was gone, or rather, the future was clear. She'd be homeless. Forever denied the honor and nobility that comes from home ownership; her cry for the American Dream would be cut off. Hell's jaws gaped open for her very soul.

"You should probably check out Credit Karma," her friend continued. "It's free..."

The trauma refused to let her have faith. Hope was dead. The future was a lie. Heaven was just another place she'd never visit. But slowly the sun dawned as it always does. "C-Credit...Karm-ma?" She wanted to cry out in joy but the core of her being was held firmly in place by awe and gratitude. A website where people could see their credit score...for free? There was a god, and truly he was a god of love.

SpazmasterX
Jul 13, 2006

Wrong about everything XIV related
~fartz~


ElwoodCuse posted:

There's this match dot com ad where some guy whines about how this girl he liked dated someone else before he could do the "conversion". Is that godawful PUA poo poo or does it just sound like it?

I know the one. He's just saying the girl he liked met a guy on match before he could make the conversion to online dating himself.

ElwoodCuse
Jan 11, 2004

we're puttin' the band back together

SpazmasterX posted:

I know the one. He's just saying the girl he liked met a guy on match before he could make the conversion to online dating himself.

Ah, that makes sense.

trunkwontopen
Apr 7, 2007
I am a CARTOON BEAR!

I know that the "Tips from a Former Smoker" commercials are supposed to be shocking and all, but I really don't need to see a guy shoving a toothbrush into his throat at 4:30 in the afternoon while I'm trying to eat spaghetti. I'm not even a smoker.

Sash!
Mar 16, 2001



I'm not sure who Throat Hole Guy is supposed to be reaching, because I'm pretty sure everyone that's alive in America knows smoking gives you cancer. The problem is a lot of people just don't care.

Timby
Dec 23, 2006

Your mother!


milk and cereal

cereal and milk

milk and cereal

CEREAL AND MILK


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0DPL-Y3f-sQ

Tree Dude
May 26, 2012

AND MY SONG IS...


Timby posted:

milk and cereal

cereal and milk

milk and cereal

CEREAL AND MILK


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0DPL-Y3f-sQ

That's a shame. I've found the original version of that song amusing for years.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gDsj5UZ_1bA

BaronVonVaderham
Jul 31, 2011

At the beginning of your upkeep, draw a card if it was illegitimate.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=11YpAoNoJJ0

Grassy Knowles
Apr 4, 2003

Oh, oh, telephone line, give me some time, I'm living in twilight



I really want to know what information lies in the collector's guide.

ElwoodCuse
Jan 11, 2004

we're puttin' the band back together

TV coin commercials are always a special kind of sleazy. On top of getting people to pay like $25 and shipping for a coin with a milligram of gold in it, it seems like there's always a different way to try and legitimize themselves as some sort of official government outlet.

Hey, want something legit? The US mint sells a one-ounce 24k coin for $1690, and they don't advertise on TV. Their market value is $1300, good luck, Fox News viewers!

Capn Beeb
Jun 29, 2003



Yeah but it's nowhere near as baller as a krugerrand

Mokinokaro
Sep 11, 2001

At the end of everything, hold onto anything


Fun Shoe

"Angel coins" are a perfect scam: gullible daytime TV watchers who are also Christians.

(I don't mean to say Christians are automatically gullible, just that the product is exploiting religion.)

Mahoning
Feb 3, 2007


http://youtu.be/DP9ek2Yuu5c

Good lord, this TitleMax commercial.

packetmantis
Feb 26, 2013

oh ar


Mahoning posted:

http://youtu.be/DP9ek2Yuu5c

Good lord, this TitleMax commercial.

I've seen this commercial and it was so horrendous I guess I just assumed it was local. Holy poo poo.

FuzzySkinner
May 23, 2012



I wish the words "back to school event/sale" was a reference to that hillarious Rodney Dangerfield movie instead of the onslaught of lovely ads I've been seeing lately.

WescottF1
Oct 21, 2000
Forums Veteran

packetmantis posted:

I've seen this commercial and it was so horrendous I guess I just assumed it was local. Holy poo poo.

So did I. It usually plays during Cheaters. Shocking, I know.

Mahoning
Feb 3, 2007


There's a Kraft ranch dressing commercial that keeps playing on the WatchABC app that is basically saying kale is the new craze but it's gross and you should smother it in ranch dressing.

gently caress you Kraft.

Promoted Pawn
Jun 8, 2005

oops


Mahoning posted:

There's a Kraft ranch dressing commercial that keeps playing on the WatchABC app that is basically saying kale is the new craze but it's gross and you should smother it in ranch dressing.

gently caress you Kraft.

They should just make an ad with people putting it on pizza because that's all I ever see ranch being used for anyway.

That Damn Satyr
Nov 4, 2008

A connoisseur of fine junk


Mokinokaro posted:

"Angel coins" are a perfect scam: gullible daytime TV watchers who are also Christians.

(I don't mean to say Christians are automatically gullible, just that the product is exploiting religion.)

The real joke here is that most of the people that would buy into this poo poo would most likely pronounce "government" as GUB'MENT, thus their website url is completely accurate.

Chamberk
Jan 11, 2004

when there is nothing left to burn you have to set yourself on fire


Promoted Pawn posted:

They should just make an ad with people putting it on pizza because that's all I ever see ranch being used for anyway.

I just gagged a little.

Promoted Pawn
Jun 8, 2005

oops


Chamberk posted:

I just gagged a little.

You and me both. They always try to get me to try it too, "oh it's better than you think". I can barely eat the cafeteria pizza at work as is, and that's after I dab it with a handful of napkins to absorb the grease pools sitting on top. Last thing I want is to throw sugar and even more fat on the thing.

But people seem to like it so what the gently caress do I know.

Mussel With Muscles
Apr 18, 2002


TontoCorazon posted:

I never thought I'd ever get to see hipster kids. That chubby kid looks like he should be playing the bass for death cab for cutie. Also that commercial sucks almost as much as the product.

This ad drives me loving nuts, I could pick it apart in a 20-minute documentary, redlettermedia-style. Ok maybe just a slightly less spergy numbered list:

1. Please god, please. No more little kids/babies behaving like jaded adults. They can't loving act, it's not funny any more, please please.

2. The kid's dialogue sounds like it was created in a marketing board meeting. Safe, scrubbed, inoffensive, stupid. Each kid has 3 things on their phone, each of the three things are a buzzword. The committee people are like, "little girls are into Pinterest right?"

3. Whenever they show a product shot of the interface, there's always a picture of the cover of Ferris Bueller's Day Off. A movie from 1986. They wanted to show all the great poo poo available on amazon prime and went with a 28 year old movie. Does this mean the marketing is aimed at people in their 40s?

razorrozar
Feb 21, 2012

I want to leave NOW!

Chamberk posted:

I just gagged a little.

Promoted Pawn posted:

You and me both. They always try to get me to try it too, "oh it's better than you think". I can barely eat the cafeteria pizza at work as is, and that's after I dab it with a handful of napkins to absorb the grease pools sitting on top. Last thing I want is to throw sugar and even more fat on the thing.

But people seem to like it so what the gently caress do I know.

It's good... if you have good pizza. Cheap pizza, as you say, is barely palatable as it is, and ranch isn't really going to help that. High-quality or homemade pizza is generally improved by ranch, depending on what toppings are on it.

That's just my $.02, eat what you like and I'll eat what I like and more power to both of us.

vyst
Aug 25, 2009



Chamberk posted:

I just gagged a little.

When i was a super deathfat I used to drench pizza in ranch. It was really fat of me.

raditts
Feb 21, 2001

The Kwanzaa Bot is here to protect me.

This Trivago commercial that's 60 second of this frog-faced fucker being bleeped and loving up his lines is the worst poo poo. Who did they think this would appeal to and why does it have to come on at least 3 times during Daily Show / Colbert every night?

Chamberk
Jan 11, 2004

when there is nothing left to burn you have to set yourself on fire


Personally I like ranch dressing as a dip for veggies, but to each his own.

Parasol Prophet
Aug 31, 2012

We Are Best Friends Now.


I know it's already been mentioned, but goddrat Apple, why do you keep discontinuing commercials I hate only to replace them with another commercial I hate? This has happened twice now.

I am so sick of having their stupid hipstery/musical/whatever songs stuck in my head all day. Because it's always a stupid hipstery/musical/whatever song that gets stuck in my head all day. When will it end?

Gonz
Dec 22, 2009

Jesus, did I say that? Or just think it? Was I talking? Did they hear me?


So, Arby's has a new ad campaign.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tgh-IGPhKt4

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DegsT3MFyj0

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-xm2dxy2YNg

There are 2 or 3 more, but I can't find them anywhere.

Barudak
May 7, 2007



Parasol Prophet posted:

I know it's already been mentioned, but goddrat Apple, why do you keep discontinuing commercials I hate only to replace them with another commercial I hate? This has happened twice now.

I am so sick of having their stupid hipstery/musical/whatever songs stuck in my head all day. Because it's always a stupid hipstery/musical/whatever song that gets stuck in my head all day. When will it end?

If you're talking about the "living the life of dreams" and "gigantic" ads those aren't from Apple. Those are co-op spots made by Sprint and ATT respectively so Apple's only real involvement is making sure it doesn't make their brand look like total dogshit without cutting into their in house ad style too much.

PT6A
Jan 5, 2006

500 CIGARETTES!


Barudak posted:

If you're talking about the "living the life of dreams" and "gigantic" ads those aren't from Apple. Those are co-op spots made by Sprint and ATT respectively so Apple's only real involvement is making sure it doesn't make their brand look like total dogshit without cutting into their in house ad style too much.

I think that "Gigantic" was an actual Apple commercial, actually. And that goddamn, rear end-loving, twice-cursed piece of garbage Chicken Fat bullshit thing.

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raditts
Feb 21, 2001

The Kwanzaa Bot is here to protect me.

PT6A posted:

And that goddamn, rear end-loving, twice-cursed piece of garbage Chicken Fat bullshit thing.

This is a glorious sentence.

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