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Maxwell Lord
Dec 12, 2008

I am drowning.
There is no sign of land.
You are coming down with me, hand in unlovable hand.

And I hope you die.

I hope we both die.




Grimey Drawer

raditts posted:

They're recycling the lovely song they used in the '90s for some reason, if it hurts you it's probably the wounds of lovely advertisements past reopening.

What's weird is that the first time they did it, they started with "The Joy of Cola", decided that wasn't brand specific enough and changed to "The Joy of Pepsi", but now they're back to the original.

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Selachian
Oct 9, 2012



Even Sarah McLachlan can't stand watching those ASPCA commercials.

raditts
Feb 21, 2001

The Kwanzaa Bot is here to protect me.

Maxwell Lord posted:

What's weird is that the first time they did it, they started with "The Joy of Cola", decided that wasn't brand specific enough and changed to "The Joy of Pepsi", but now they're back to the original.

Yeah, I thought so too but I figured I must have remembered wrong. Either way it's so weird that they brought that awful song back, it's just as bad as back then but now it's got the double whammy of trying to appeal to millenials with the stink of the '90s all over it.

I'm almost expecting to see commercials for Sony products using the Summer Song again.

Radish
Aug 13, 2003



TMMadman posted:

http://www.values.com/inspirational-stories-tv-spots

I'll just leave that there for everyone to peruse at their own leisure. Quite possibly the schmaltziest promos ever.

Saw the "Gratitude" one on TV with the daughter and her dad looking at each other longingly, her leaving, and then having to come back for more and was very suspicious. I initially thought it was some kind of parody the incest vibes were so over the top.

Gynocentric Regime
Jun 9, 2010

I'm sorry the brain you've reached is out of order, please call again later. Thank You!

Radish posted:

Saw the "Gratitude" one on TV with the daughter and her dad looking at each other longingly, her leaving, and then having to come back for more and was very suspicious. I initially thought it was some kind of parody the incest vibes were so over the top.

Speaking of incest vibes, everyone's favorite was on again this year.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fhfcWTZeP1k

vyst
Aug 25, 2009



Mulva posted:

Speaking of incest vibes, everyone's favorite was on again this year.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fhfcWTZeP1k

Hahahahahahaha this amazing

raditts
Feb 21, 2001

The Kwanzaa Bot is here to protect me.

Mulva posted:

Speaking of incest vibes, everyone's favorite was on again this year.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fhfcWTZeP1k

This pretty much matches how I envisioned that commercial ending.

DJExile
Jun 27, 2007




this is great

The Grey
Mar 2, 2004



We call ourselves the "Open Water Paddlers"...

Radish
Aug 13, 2003



Mulva posted:

Speaking of incest vibes, everyone's favorite was on again this year.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fhfcWTZeP1k

Haha wasn't expecting the extended cut before clicking the link.

Sash!
Mar 16, 2001



The Grey posted:

We call ourselves the "Open Water Paddlers"...

Here's a tip: if your favorite part of kayaking is drinking poo poo beer, why not cut to the chase and go drink in the woods?

muscles like this!
Jan 17, 2005



It's kind of sad that multiple Oscar winner Christoph Waltz is doing Clash of Clans commercials but he certainly sells the hell out of it.

Maxwell Lord
Dec 12, 2008

I am drowning.
There is no sign of land.
You are coming down with me, hand in unlovable hand.

And I hope you die.

I hope we both die.




Grimey Drawer

muscles like this? posted:

It's kind of sad that multiple Oscar winner Christoph Waltz is doing Clash of Clans commercials but he certainly sells the hell out of it.

Pay-to-win mobile games are the new hotness so they're presumably paying a lot of money.

Timby
Dec 23, 2006

Your mother!


Maxwell Lord posted:

Pay-to-win mobile games are the new hotness so they're presumably paying a lot of money.

At the time that Kate Upton did those Game of War commercials, the game was earning more than a million bucks a day from microtransactions.

Gonz
Dec 22, 2009

Jesus, did I say that? Or just think it? Was I talking? Did they hear me?


muscles like this? posted:

It's kind of sad that multiple Oscar winner Christoph Waltz is doing Clash of Clans commercials but he certainly sells the hell out of it.

Yeah, but like you said, he really does a great job on them. Especially the "Your Momma" one.

Radish
Aug 13, 2003



Liam Neeson's Clash of Clans superbowl commercial was legitimately good.

Vicas
Dec 9, 2009

Sweet tricks, mom.


Radish posted:

Liam Neeson's Clash of Clans superbowl commercial was legitimately good.

You know, I remember the commercial and it was really good, but drat if I could've told you it was for Clash of Clans. Kind of a failure as an advert on that measure

OJ MIST 2 THE DICK
Sep 10, 2008

Anytime I need to see your face I just close my eyes
And I am taken to a place
Where your crystal minds and magenta feelings
Take up shelter in the base of my spine
Sweet like a chica cherry cola

-Cheap Trick


Nap Ghost

Vicas posted:

You know, I remember the commercial and it was really good, but drat if I could've told you it was for Clash of Clans. Kind of a failure as an advert on that measure

nothing tops the dancing monkey

DJExile
Jun 27, 2007



"At Longhorn, steaks like these don't need anything else..."

*remaining 25 seconds showing steaks getting covered in lovely toppings*

Mister Kingdom
Dec 14, 2005

And the tears that fall
On the city wall
Will fade away
With the rays of morning light

Ladies, do you wish you were living in the 18th century? Do you like having your guts crammed together?

You can enjoy all the pain with Miss Belt!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=22X5_flsKgQ

Parasol Prophet
Aug 31, 2012

We Are Best Friends Now.


Mister Kingdom posted:

Ladies, do you wish you were living in the 18th century? Do you like having your guts crammed together?

You can enjoy all the pain with Miss Belt!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=22X5_flsKgQ

Ah yes, the completely natural look of having your body swerve sharply inward right under the ribcage, and also those lumpy velcro flaps sticking out from under your shirt. Just like women have naturally!

McSpanky
Jan 16, 2005




Mister Kingdom posted:

Ladies, do you wish you were living in the 18th century? Do you like having your guts crammed together?

You can enjoy all the pain with Miss Belt!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=22X5_flsKgQ

"Do you want to know their secret?"

It's photoshop.

Mister Kingdom
Dec 14, 2005

And the tears that fall
On the city wall
Will fade away
With the rays of morning light

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vHTjES13Z60

Wipes off hastily applied talcum powder with ease!

Mokinokaro
Sep 11, 2001

At the end of everything, hold onto anything


Fun Shoe

Mister Kingdom posted:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vHTjES13Z60

Wipes off hastily applied talcum powder with ease!

Love the marker bit where they don't even touch the market on the "untreated" side.

Peanut President
Nov 5, 2008





Mister Kingdom posted:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vHTjES13Z60

Wipes off hastily applied talcum powder with ease!

BEHOLD THE POWER OF DUSTING.

MisterZimbu
Mar 13, 2006


Mokinokaro posted:

Love the marker bit where they don't even touch the market on the "untreated" side.

I like the part where he pours the red wine over the "untreated" side, which dusts it off just as well as the "treated" side.

Mooseontheloose
May 13, 2003
crazy people don't like me

Mister Kingdom posted:

Ladies, do you wish you were living in the 18th century? Do you like having your guts crammed together?

You can enjoy all the pain with Miss Belt!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=22X5_flsKgQ

I dunno man the people of FASHION magazine haven't steered me wrong before.

SpacePig
Apr 4, 2007

They want to murder you in a well!
Seems a bit harsh, but
apparently they want to,
it says here on this card.


There's an ad on the radio right now for an android app called Next, and the commercial is a really bad attempt at a Who's On First? style sketch, with a really forced confusion between the idea of an app called Next, and a button in the app store that say "next app". It is driving me insane.

Gonz
Dec 22, 2009

Jesus, did I say that? Or just think it? Was I talking? Did they hear me?


Many thanks to Senor Lowtax for allowing all kinds of new embedding features.

http://i.imgur.com/he6GISQ.gifv

https://i.imgur.com/pS6Y6CJ.gifv

http://i.imgur.com/pxK3GSa.gifv

http://i.imgur.com/m02BXTA.gifv

http://i.imgur.com/eVcbNe7.gifv

http://i.imgur.com/w6TIv88.gifv

http://i.imgur.com/wJyBgY6.gifv

http://i.imgur.com/yFvHJRX.gifv

PT6A
Jan 5, 2006

500 CIGARETTES!


I identify very strongly with the woman throwing a tantrum in the grocery store. Grocery shopping loving sucks, and I've come drat close to simply parking my cart and running the gently caress out of the store in frustration.

WHY THE gently caress AREN'T CANNED TOMATOES IN THE CANNED VEGETABLE SECTION! WHAT RETARD THOUGHT OF THIS???

muscles like this!
Jan 17, 2005



Reading small print in commercials can be fun. Like how Hunts makes a big deal about other tomato canners pealing with lye while they do it with steam. The small print says that the FDA states lye is perfectly safe.

Or how Tyson states that their chicken doesn't have added hormones or antibiotics and the small print says that those aren't allowed in any chicken in the US.

Sash!
Mar 16, 2001



muscles like this? posted:

Or how Tyson states that their chicken doesn't have added hormones or antibiotics and the small print says that those aren't allowed in any chicken in the US.

Every chicken commercial does this and it reminds me of the guy speculating if there was such a thing as DEATH-CRYSTALS

McSpanky
Jan 16, 2005




muscles like this? posted:

Reading small print in commercials can be fun. Like how Hunts makes a big deal about other tomato canners pealing with lye while they do it with steam. The small print says that the FDA states lye is perfectly safe.

Or how Tyson states that their chicken doesn't have added hormones or antibiotics and the small print says that those aren't allowed in any chicken in the US.

Food fads are rife with this poo poo. "Low-carb" and "gluten free" being plastered on stuff that never had any of it to begin with, or anything "organic" as if it's an intrinsic health benefit. Mmmm spoonfuls of organic cane sugar and saturated fat, it does a body good!

CapnAndy
Feb 27, 2004

This is how Davos feels.
This is how Davos feels all the time.



Y'know what, I'll cop to having done this. It's what comes of reading in bed with a tablet; the upside is that you have a magical book that is every book you own and glows in the dark, the downside is once in a while you get sleepy and accidentally drop the drat thing on your face.

Gonz
Dec 22, 2009

Jesus, did I say that? Or just think it? Was I talking? Did they hear me?


CapnAndy posted:

Y'know what, I'll cop to having done this. It's what comes of reading in bed with a tablet; the upside is that you have a magical book that is every book you own and glows in the dark, the downside is once in a while you get sleepy and accidentally drop the drat thing on your face.

Luckily, there's a fix for that.

Clamknuckle
Sep 7, 2006

Groovy


Mooseontheloose posted:

I dunno man the people of FASHION magazine haven't steered me wrong before.

You can wear it OVER your clothes!

Bird in a Blender
Nov 17, 2005

It's amazing what they can do with computers these days.


DJExile posted:

"At Longhorn, steaks like these don't need anything else..."

*remaining 25 seconds showing steaks getting covered in lovely toppings*



Oh good, I thought I misheard this commercial when I saw it because it made so little sense.

This steak doesn't need anything! Except mushrooms and swiss cheese on top.

get that OUT of my face
Feb 10, 2007



Fox Sports streaming shows three commercials during an event at any given time during every commercial break. During this Panthers/Seahawks game, one of the ads for Visa starts out with, "I haven't always been a Patriots fan." It's enough to make me want to cut up my Visa gift card with $7 left.

Hazo
Dec 30, 2004

SCIENCE


Speaking of NFL Playoffs, maybe it's nationwide or maybe it's just airing around here because Rubio and Bush have been having an idiotic slapfight with campaign commercials in SC, but there's a Rubio one that's really hilariously awkward. He's tossing a football around and trying to put on a fake good ol' boy persona by answering football-related questions flashing on the screen. Trouble is, it's an embarrassingly transparent ploy and it's blatantly obvious he has no idea what he's talking about. Like, one of his statements was something like "My pick for the dark horse Super Bowl winner is the Philadelphia Eagles!" (the Eagles didn't even make the playoffs).

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TMMadman
Sep 9, 2003

He will be injured, but in the World Series he will be raised from the DL. And the Indians were filled with grief.


muscles like this? posted:

Reading small print in commercials can be fun. Like how Hunts makes a big deal about other tomato canners pealing with lye while they do it with steam. The small print says that the FDA states lye is perfectly safe.

Or how Tyson states that their chicken doesn't have added hormones or antibiotics and the small print says that those aren't allowed in any chicken in the US.

The one that gets me lately is the Chevy commercial where some idiots come in and try to guess what model car it is and they are all like "Oh, I don't know, maybe a Lexus/BMW/Audi and this car probably costs like 60,000", but it turns out to be some lovely Chevy Malibu with a base price of like 22,500. But the car they actually show is on with all the upgrades and actually costs 36,550.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S6cSTBeaqFM

Small print is just hilarious.

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