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Timby
Dec 23, 2006

Your mother!


MrSlam posted:

Any job that has looping commercials playing in the background has got to be hell.

I worked at Sears Portrait Studio for a few months back in college, and the TV was on a never-ending loop of Lilo & Stitch and one single Dora the Explorer episode.

Ten-hour shifts of pure, unbridled hell.

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fizzymercy
Aug 18, 2011




Haha, holy poo poo that's horrid. When I worked at Sears the portrait studio played The Little Mermaid and Disney's Robin Hood back to back endlessly for 8 straight months. They switched to Rookie of the Year and two episodes of Bill Nye (Planets and Moons and Friction) after that. When I finally quit they were still playing that. In 1999.


Sears is hell is what I'm saying.

jojoinnit
Dec 13, 2010

I failed the Digg Button Challenge™

Circuit City. 2004. I worked in electronics next to the car audio department. An entire wall of little in dash screens and car dvd players all playing the same six music videos on a loop. I still get triggered when "I Want it (Thataway)" comes on.

Mister Kingdom
Dec 14, 2005

And the tears that fall
On the city wall
Will fade away
With the rays of morning light

fizzymercy posted:

They had nutrisystem, plus-size clothing, and weight watchers ads on when I watched a "documentary" about Princess Diana on Reelz. Reelz gives no shits about content or being disrespectful.

Reelz started out okay with a lot of behind the scenes type stuff, but then quickly degenerated into an E! wannabe,

RMZXAnarchy
Sep 9, 2011

*Insert Sailor Jupiter joke here*

When I worked at Wal-Mart they had some Packers Documentary playing about the last Super Bowl they won where the Portrait Studio once sat on a constant unending loop where it was just annoyingly loud enough to hear the beginning and end parts but not loud enough to hear dialogue.
Drove me loving nuts when they put me by it.

bull3964
Nov 18, 2000

DO YOU HEAR THAT? THAT'S THE SOUND OF ME PATTING MYSELF ON THE BACK.

I saw one of the best mismatched ad/content placements I've seen was a banner ad above a news article. This was back in '99 when CD-Rs were the rage.

It was for an iomega CD-R drive. The banner said "Burn baby burn!"

The banner was above an article about a toddler dying in a house fire.

I still have a screenshot of it somewhere.

Rirse
May 6, 2006




Yeah I really hate the ads that play at work. They used to be really bad, but some of the awful ones like for Smart Talk Teddy Bear that kept repeating "what kind of bear has no teeth....a gummy bear" got removed since not a single person bought any of those dolls.

Now it just maybe two really annoying tvs at work. The Star Wars airhog one used to be really loud, but during a dead day I lowered the tv volume to almost nothing. It been that low ever since.

ElectricSheep
Jan 14, 2006

she had tiny Italian boobs.
Well that's my story.


Timby posted:

I worked at Sears Portrait Studio for a few months back in college, and the TV was on a never-ending loop of Lilo & Stitch and one single Dora the Explorer episode.

Ten-hour shifts of pure, unbridled hell.

Mine was a Target electronics section, first year of college.

The music video loop on the TVs repeated every half hour. One of the songs was Avril Lavigne's "Complicated". Once was enough. Sixteen was hell.

Snorb
Nov 19, 2010


When I worked at the local Kmart, we used to be allowed to play actual movies that were store-used out. This ended when some idiot played "The Dukes of Hazzard: The Beginning" on the wall of TVs. Corporate sent us a DVD that we were supposed to (and expected to) play.

It had one commercial, backed by OK Go's "Here It Goes Again." Sometime in transit, the DVD got scratched; it still played in the DVD player, but every ten seconds or so the ad would freeze for a couple seconds, then pick up where it should have as if nothing happened. We still had to play the DVD, with its one commercial, on loop all day. Customers complained to me because the song wasn't very good, was too repetitive, and just kept stopping at weird points and expect me to do something about it. I, in turn, expected the managers to do something about it.

I timed it out; the commercial, jumps and all, was exactly sixty seconds long. Sixty seconds of the first verse of "Here It Goes Again" with half the lyrics missing.

For nine hours a day, five days a week.

I ran the DVD through the office's paper shredder when corporate sent us a much less repetitive ad loop four months later.

Sinestro
Oct 31, 2010

The perfect day needs the perfect set of wheels.


Snorb posted:

When I worked at the local Kmart, we used to be allowed to play actual movies that were store-used out. This ended when some idiot played "The Dukes of Hazzard: The Beginning" on the wall of TVs. Corporate sent us a DVD that we were supposed to (and expected to) play.

It had one commercial, backed by OK Go's "Here It Goes Again." Sometime in transit, the DVD got scratched; it still played in the DVD player, but every ten seconds or so the ad would freeze for a couple seconds, then pick up where it should have as if nothing happened. We still had to play the DVD, with its one commercial, on loop all day. Customers complained to me because the song wasn't very good, was too repetitive, and just kept stopping at weird points and expect me to do something about it. I, in turn, expected the managers to do something about it.

I timed it out; the commercial, jumps and all, was exactly sixty seconds long. Sixty seconds of the first verse of "Here It Goes Again" with half the lyrics missing.

For nine hours a day, five days a week.

I ran the DVD through the office's paper shredder when corporate sent us a much less repetitive ad loop four months later.

I didn't know that K-Mart got bought out by Vault-Tec, weird.

RMZXAnarchy
Sep 9, 2011

*Insert Sailor Jupiter joke here*

So wait what about the Dukes of Hazzard sent corporate into a frenzy?

My Kmart liked showing pixar movies, nightmare before Christmas and Back to the Future before they closed down. When they merged the electronics department into the Jewelry department we could see the TV from the cashier stands but often people would forget to actually play the movie and it would sit at the menu.

Snorb
Nov 19, 2010


RMZXAnarchy posted:

So wait what about the Dukes of Hazzard sent corporate into a frenzy?


I think it was just really weird timing, . We used to show all six Star Wars movies in all their on-camera lightsaber dismemberment glory, along with Aladdin, Mulan (the Disney movie with the highest body count!), Invincible, a 10-episode Spongebob Squarepants collection, and Remember the Titans. My guess here was either really weird timing (we got the hosed up OK Go DVD about a day or two after I showed up to work and a lovely direct-to-video prequel to the Dukes of Hazzard movie that presumably showed Daisy Duke's tits was played) or corporate decided to play it safe about that "this Digital Versatile Disc is for home exhibition only!!!" legal BS everybody ignores on home video and sent us discs with movie trailers and Kmart ads.

Then again, we used to show Dish Network on those TVs and I made the customers endure Star Trek: Enterprise and Doctor Who back when SyFy actually aired them, up until the managers made me stop doing that.

Maxwell Lord
Dec 12, 2008

I am drowning.
There is no sign of land.
You are coming down with me, hand in unlovable hand.

And I hope you die.

I hope we both die.




Grimey Drawer

Yeah the DTV Dukes of Hazzard sequel is basically a teen comedy with the requisite nudity, which was an odd direction to take the franchise but whatever.

Rassle
Dec 4, 2011



jojoinnit posted:

Circuit City. 2004. I worked in electronics next to the car audio department. An entire wall of little in dash screens and car dvd players all playing the same six music videos on a loop. I still get triggered when "I Want it (Thataway)" comes on.

Tell me why.

jojoinnit
Dec 13, 2010

I failed the Digg Button Challenge™

Rassle posted:

Tell me why.

No.

Ain't nothin' but a mistake…

Mister Kingdom
Dec 14, 2005

And the tears that fall
On the city wall
Will fade away
With the rays of morning light

Just saw an iPad commercial that is proud of the fact that it will never get a "PC virus".

Is this really a selling point?

Henchman of Santa
Aug 21, 2010


Mister Kingdom posted:

Just saw an iPad commercial that is proud of the fact that it will never get a "PC virus".

Is this really a selling point?

PC culture has ruined America, so yes

TontoCorazon
Aug 18, 2007


Mister Kingdom posted:

Just saw an iPad commercial that is proud of the fact that it will never get a "PC virus".

Is this really a selling point?

They sure as poo poo will get an iPad virus though.

Faustian Bargain
Apr 12, 2014



The "there's a Big Mac for that" commercial makes me wonder if there are really people who celebrate by going to McDonalds.

Peanut President
Nov 5, 2008
Probation
Can't post for 12 hours!


Mister Kingdom posted:

Just saw an iPad commercial that is proud of the fact that it will never get a "PC virus".

Is this really a selling point?

Apple's been using that as a selling point for at least 10 years. One of the old PC v. Mac commercials was Mac saying it never gets viruses.

WampaLord
Jan 14, 2010

shadow trust me this plan will be better because im gonna smoke my smart weed. im smarter when im high..



Faustian Bargain posted:

The "there's a Big Mac for that" commercial makes me wonder if there are really people who celebrate by going to McDonalds.

Were you never in Little League?

MrSlam
Apr 25, 2014

And there you sat, eating hamburgers while the world cried.

Are you tired of paying Big Mac prices for a dollar menu McDouble with lettuce and Thousand Island dressing and an extra bun? Do you want us to put Double Quarter Pounder patties on your Big Mac like we used to but charge you extra?

There's a Big Mac for that.

Also the dollar menu is now the value menu so we can sell it at a higher price. The only things that cost a dollar will be lovely items nobody buys like apple pies.

theflyingexecutive
Apr 22, 2007



TontoCorazon posted:

They sure as poo poo will get an iPad virus though.

Bruceski
Aug 21, 2007

The tools of a hero mean nothing without a solid core.


Mister Kingdom posted:

Just saw an iPad commercial that is proud of the fact that it will never get a "PC virus".

Is this really a selling point?

It's been a thing since the first internet virus, with Apple -- either through fans or formally -- arguing that their smaller userbase made them less susceptible to viruses because there was nobody worth targeting. This has become less of an argument as overlap between the systems got more common (not every virus that targeted shared apps could infect the OSes the same, but some flaws carried over) and went up in a puff of smoke when the iPhone exploded in popularity and gave malware-makes an extremely juicy targetbase of people who are clueless enough to think that phones can't get viruses because "it's not a computer," particularly with the lack of third-party virus protection for phones. Windows phones would probably be the least-likely virus target these days if not for the OS overlap with Windows.

I do want to note that this is not uniquely an Apple thing. Microsoft Internet Explorer is a piece of crap because it's pre-installed on every system and so is a much more likely point of access than Chrome or Opera or whatever kids use these days. Thus "we're not IE" is a selling point for browsers.

You Are A Elf
Apr 26, 2010

Black Gold!


Faustian Bargain posted:

The "there's a Big Mac for that" commercial makes me wonder if there are really people who celebrate by going to McDonalds.

On occasion, yeah:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ExA9erdhB5E

Bruceski
Aug 21, 2007

The tools of a hero mean nothing without a solid core.


And sometimes it's the place where a ragtag group of players learn to work together as a team.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JinX-rEq23s
Couldn't find a subtitled version, the start is basically "this isn't working, the team is cancelled, let's get some food before y'all go home."

Otherkinsey Scale
Jul 17, 2012

Just a little bit of sunshine!


Bruceski posted:

Thus "we're not IE" is a selling point for browsers.

To be fair, that would be true regardless.

raditts
Feb 21, 2001

The Kwanzaa Bot is here to protect me.

Bruceski posted:

I do want to note that this is not uniquely an Apple thing. Microsoft Internet Explorer is a piece of crap because it's pre-installed on every system and so is a much more likely point of access than Chrome or Opera or whatever kids use these days. Thus "we're not IE" is a selling point for browsers.

IE is crap for several reasons that have nothing to do with its install base.

Gonz
Dec 22, 2009

Jesus, did I say that? Or just think it? Was I talking? Did they hear me?


https://i.imgur.com/sWWtGQ5.gifv



http://i.imgur.com/BbSJGoF.gifv



http://i.imgur.com/e9Bt4Yx.gifv



http://i.imgur.com/xK3pC6f.gifv



http://i.imgur.com/Q30o4G3.gifv

https://i.imgur.com/16hgWk7.gifv

http://i.imgur.com/OONX2wn.gifv

http://i.imgur.com/TsjmfAn.gifv





http://i.imgur.com/feFP6cQ.gifv

http://i.imgur.com/yjJ8Sc5.gifv

http://i.imgur.com/o2RaVKN.gifv



Gonz
Dec 22, 2009

Jesus, did I say that? Or just think it? Was I talking? Did they hear me?


I'm just going to assume that last one features a guy with telepathic powers giving that woman a migraine headache.

Kibayasu
Mar 28, 2010



Gonz posted:

I'm just going to assume that last one features a guy with telepathic powers giving that woman a migraine headache.

Well it's either that or compelling her to smash some poo poo.

Regy Rusty
Apr 26, 2010



Grimey Drawer

quote:


Boy somebody's gonna lose their head over this one

McSpanky
Jan 16, 2005




I assume that's special organic nontoxic etc. paint made for that purpose, but still at painting your lawn.

Gonz
Dec 22, 2009

Jesus, did I say that? Or just think it? Was I talking? Did they hear me?


That son of a bitch put a camera pen in his breast pocket and recorded that poor woman's response to his advances.

Then he went home and watched it on his laptop. What a fuckin' creep.

McSpanky posted:

I assume that's special organic nontoxic etc. paint made for that purpose, but still at painting your lawn.

We live in wonderous times, McSpanky.

Gonz fucked around with this message at Mar 4, 2017 around 09:34

SpacePig
Apr 4, 2007

They want to murder you in a well!
Seems a bit harsh, but
apparently they want to,
it says here on this card.



These Flex Seal commercials are getting to a point where I think they might actually be a cool and useful thing to have that works. This is the greatest infomercial thing I've seen in a long while.

PT6A
Jan 5, 2006

500 CIGARETTES!


SpacePig posted:

These Flex Seal commercials are getting to a point where I think they might actually be a cool and useful thing to have that works. This is the greatest infomercial thing I've seen in a long while.

A friend of mine bought some once and it sucks and doesn't work worth a gently caress.

Clamknuckle
Sep 7, 2006

Groovy


Gonz posted:

That son of a bitch put a camera pen in his breast pocket and recorded that poor woman's response to his advances.

Then he went home and watched it on his laptop. What a fuckin' creep.

That pen was aimed right at her breasts! For shame!

Sash!
Mar 16, 2001




This is how I feel and look when I try to do this.

I bought the product they are selling. I have crossed over into black and white incompetent world.

Gonz
Dec 22, 2009

Jesus, did I say that? Or just think it? Was I talking? Did they hear me?


Sash! posted:

I have crossed over into black and white incompetent world.

Please don't tear your rotator cuff trying to open a jar of pickles, Sash.

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DJExile
Jun 27, 2007



I'll be fair, cleaning the inside of your windshield or rear window in a car is pretty awkward.


E: what the balls is that boomtouch speaker?

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