The bing to the McNugget bong, the ding to the dong: Ads You Hate.

The Something Awful Forums > The Finer Arts > TV IV > The bing to the McNugget bong, the ding to the dong: Ads You Hate.

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Bruceski: Aug 21, 2007; The tools of a hero mean nothing without a solid core.

ayn rand hand job posted:

Clearly an advertisement for lube.

# ¿ Aug 7, 2015 00:35

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# ¿ Apr 17, 2024 00:44

Bruceski: Aug 21, 2007; The tools of a hero mean nothing without a solid core.

raditts posted:

That's the first thing I thought of too. I suppose there was some actual song that the Amy Schumer thing was parodying?

It was a dirty jump-rope rhyme when I was a kid in the 80s, so it's at least that old.

# ¿ Aug 26, 2015 23:48

Bruceski: Aug 21, 2007; The tools of a hero mean nothing without a solid core.

Yeah, it's using fancy language to make it sound different from identical $10 products. Nothing else special about it, just pure scam.

# ¿ Nov 6, 2016 06:02

Bruceski: Aug 21, 2007; The tools of a hero mean nothing without a solid core.

Suspicious Dish posted:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EZ5LRi8-bRg&list=PL590L5WQmH8dFWPn2gIHHEhTewrdGM9yI&index=2

seriously what the gently caress are these ads they suck

When you find a cafe just around the corner... get out of your car and walk, ya lazy bum!

# ¿ Dec 3, 2016 05:04

Bruceski: Aug 21, 2007; The tools of a hero mean nothing without a solid core.

Centrum Silver has been putting out ads "now certified GMO and gluten-free." They're vitamins; if you're putting gluten in them you have other issues.

# ¿ Jan 7, 2017 21:40

Bruceski: Aug 21, 2007; The tools of a hero mean nothing without a solid core.

theflyingexecutive posted:

Some tablets use wheat extracts to bind ingredients together. It's p uncommon because people with gluten allergies have already precluded their use in a lot of things, but even if 95% of people are exaggerating or fabricating their gluten intolerance, it's helpful for the remaining 5% to know something is GF certified because eating gluten with a severe allergy can really gently caress you up and those are the people who especially need vitamins.

Yeah, when I mentioned this on Facebook my mother (who has legit gluten issues) educated me. She's been burned by the difference between "no gluten ingredients" and "made on gluten-free equipment" on similar stuff, so certified matters.

# ¿ Jan 9, 2017 03:24

Bruceski: Aug 21, 2007; The tools of a hero mean nothing without a solid core.

Mister Kingdom posted:

Just saw an iPad commercial that is proud of the fact that it will never get a "PC virus".

Is this really a selling point?

It's been a thing since the first internet virus, with Apple -- either through fans or formally -- arguing that their smaller userbase made them less susceptible to viruses because there was nobody worth targeting. This has become less of an argument as overlap between the systems got more common (not every virus that targeted shared apps could infect the OSes the same, but some flaws carried over) and went up in a puff of smoke when the iPhone exploded in popularity and gave malware-makes an extremely juicy targetbase of people who are clueless enough to think that phones can't get viruses because "it's not a computer," particularly with the lack of third-party virus protection for phones. Windows phones would probably be the least-likely virus target these days if not for the OS overlap with Windows.

I do want to note that this is not uniquely an Apple thing. Microsoft Internet Explorer is a piece of crap because it's pre-installed on every system and so is a much more likely point of access than Chrome or Opera or whatever kids use these days. Thus "we're not IE" is a selling point for browsers.

# ¿ Feb 26, 2017 20:09

Bruceski: Aug 21, 2007; The tools of a hero mean nothing without a solid core.

And sometimes it's the place where a ragtag group of players learn to work together as a team.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JinX-rEq23s
Couldn't find a subtitled version, the start is basically "this isn't working, the team is cancelled, let's get some food before y'all go home."

# ¿ Feb 26, 2017 22:00

Bruceski: Aug 21, 2007; The tools of a hero mean nothing without a solid core.

Gonz posted:

what

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ohxZ99K8TRM

The car worth dying for.

# ¿ Apr 20, 2017 08:17

Bruceski: Aug 21, 2007; The tools of a hero mean nothing without a solid core.

Parachute posted:

WalMart has a commercial where three are three people working at a food bank and 2 of them are wearing green generic "Volunteer" shirts and the person in the middle is wearing a blue shirt that says "WalMart Volunteer" and it just made me a little sick to my stomach.

A while back I happened to volunteer for park trail upkeep on the weekend that one of the local conglomerates (Wal-Mart? Intel? I don't recall anymore) was doing a service push. It was so odd to have people whining that at least they got work comp, or the corp was paying for their school to do a field trip if they pitched in, and I was the only one who actually wanted to be there.

# ¿ May 1, 2017 22:52

Bruceski: Aug 21, 2007; The tools of a hero mean nothing without a solid core.

WampaLord posted:

I was fine with it until the kids hold up their catches and say "and this is my participation trophy!"

No, that's not what that means. What you have there is just a trophy.

The participation trophy is the skeeter bites. You get those even if you didn't catch anything.

# ¿ May 14, 2017 21:04

Bruceski: Aug 21, 2007; The tools of a hero mean nothing without a solid core.

Gonz posted:

Did that in college once. Cutting my own hair while tired, forgot to put the attachment back on to touch up a spot. Just shaved my head; hair grows back, no biggie.

# ¿ May 15, 2017 06:59

Bruceski: Aug 21, 2007; The tools of a hero mean nothing without a solid core.

What the Christ?

# ¿ Jul 27, 2017 23:34

Bruceski: Aug 21, 2007; The tools of a hero mean nothing without a solid core.

Cup of Hemlock posted:

We bought this. You can still find the music online (which I did recently). It...doesn't hold up.

The 90s were a hell of a drug.

# ¿ Oct 4, 2017 08:15

Bruceski: Aug 21, 2007; The tools of a hero mean nothing without a solid core.

Doctor Butts posted:

Oh my God, Kay Jewelers just had a commercial that said

”hey guys, it's engagement season”

Are you loving kidding me

There's deer, elk, and bear season. Is engagement season when you're legally allowed to shoot anyone making overly contrived proposals.

# ¿ Oct 12, 2017 04:30

Bruceski: Aug 21, 2007; The tools of a hero mean nothing without a solid core.

Doctor Butts posted:

It's like literally their marketing cycle for every gen of phones:
1st phase of commercials: Get people hyped about upcoming release of phone with sexy shots of it
2nd phase of commercials: After release, show people all the things you can do with it
3rd phase of commercials: a while after release, have a commerical that shows a specific phone feature in a way that tugs on the heart strings (facetime with baby while overseas or some poo poo)
4th phase: We're still here, just to remind you that iPhones exist and a new one is around the corner....

The cycle repeats itself.

I read about that somewhere on SA, not sure if it was this thread or another.

At least it's not the phone companies' sniping at each other like ex-lovers and coworkers failing to be professional. "Verizon has 2% more coverage and is #1 in this test we tailored to exactly what we provide, Carol." "Yeah? Well at least Cellular One was there for me when I needed it!"

# ¿ Oct 27, 2017 20:46

Bruceski: Aug 21, 2007; The tools of a hero mean nothing without a solid core.

Jade Rider posted:

Anyone who makes drink commercials with the actor making an overexaggerated "ahhhh" after taking a sip should be shot. I've literally only seen children do that, and it's not even endearing when they do it.

I learned it from Bert on Sesame Street.

# ¿ Nov 12, 2017 00:52

Bruceski: Aug 21, 2007; The tools of a hero mean nothing without a solid core.

Gaunab posted:

I've seen this commercial twice and I'm already tired of it.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PwnEKWyYQMQ

A bangarang tattoo? Are movies that came out when I was 10 retro-cool now? Does it extend to everything, can I dig out my old day-glo pants?

# ¿ Nov 18, 2017 05:31

Bruceski: Aug 21, 2007; The tools of a hero mean nothing without a solid core.

Crossfire! Crossfire! CROSSFIIIIIIIIRE!!

# ¿ Dec 12, 2017 21:22

Bruceski: Aug 21, 2007; The tools of a hero mean nothing without a solid core.

Dr. Gitmo Moneyson posted:

Somebody needs to tell Walmart that �It�s Raining Men� isn�t a Christmas song.

It is for some people. :heysexy:

# ¿ Dec 17, 2017 03:36

Bruceski: Aug 21, 2007; The tools of a hero mean nothing without a solid core.

Sash! posted:

Naw, it just requires you to not inform the other person, which is something people of all stripes are capable of. That's how every car has ever been purchased in the history of my family and we are firmly middle of the middle of the middle. Dad just shows up home from work early one day and says "hey Sash's Mom, your car's been giving us trouble lately and you've mentioned a couple times that you liked the {car model}, so I went ahead and got one of those."

In my family that would get a "you did what? It's my car, thankyouverymuch." Gifting the money to get a car, sure, but we're the kind of folks who get a car and hang onto it for 20 years, so you want something YOU pick for color and features and comfort and all that. A new car is not to be done on a whim, it's a chance to reevaluate everything about the old car you liked or didn't, and see what the model's changed in the last decade. Getting someone in my family a car without their choosing it is almost as irresponsible as getting them a puppy.

# ¿ Dec 24, 2017 05:49

Bruceski: Aug 21, 2007; The tools of a hero mean nothing without a solid core.

Lavender Blue is something like 300 years old, so I don't think Bud gets credit for this one.

# ¿ Jan 7, 2018 22:47

Bruceski: Aug 21, 2007; The tools of a hero mean nothing without a solid core.

The Bee posted:

My Italian teacher had one of the Muzzy videos on DVD, and she'd play it for the class every now and again. Every time, she'd point out that this is Muzzy 2, so we haven't seen it before and should start from the beginning.

All she had was Muzzy 2. We watched the same 15 minutes every single time.

That should be banned by the Geneva convention. I can't recall the video we had for French immersion, except that it had one disappointed girl go "aww, zut zut et zut" (aww, drat drat and drat) and the class found it the funniest thing ever. Just something about the tone of delivery.

# ¿ Jan 18, 2018 02:56

Bruceski: Aug 21, 2007; The tools of a hero mean nothing without a solid core.

BaronVonVaderham posted:

I have no idea who that is and I'm ok with that.

Country singer and actress. Had a sitcom named after her back in the 00's that wasn't bad as such things go.

Bruceski fucked around with this message at 01:46 on Feb 1, 2018

# ¿ Feb 1, 2018 01:44

Bruceski: Aug 21, 2007; The tools of a hero mean nothing without a solid core.

I'm disappointed because for years The Last Leg on the channel 4 site has had Foster's ads which were just low-key, calm, and quiet; a nice breath between bits of the show. Now they have Coors ones that are some guy dancing in an empty ice bar that feel like they go on for 10 seconds too long even though they're probably the same length. I'm sure I'll adjust, but it's jarring.

# ¿ Feb 5, 2018 01:55

Bruceski: Aug 21, 2007; The tools of a hero mean nothing without a solid core.

LadyPictureShow posted:

I�ve had Hulu on for background noise while I work from home, and there is a Ford ad that I immediately mute anytime I hear the little jingle start.

Teen: There�s something wrong with the [Ford]. It won�t go over 65.
Parent: Oh really?
Teen: Mom there�s something wrong with the [Ford]. The radio won�t go very loud.
Parent: Oh really?
Teen: Dad, there�s something wrong with the [Ford]. If I get a phone call it goes straight to voicemail.
Parent: Oh really?

Something something �Ford has �parental controls� on vehicles.

The stupid �oh really?� and the parents smugly fist-bumping each other annoys me to end.

But teens have always been lovely drivers, amirite guys?

I will admit that one time my family took two cars to a summercamp and made the mistake of having me and my brother alone in one of them. We weren't too bright about being subtle either, so when we got there we excitedly said "did you know that car can go 95?"

Ah, New Mexico, land of ruler-straight roads without a soul on them.

# ¿ Mar 13, 2018 22:41

Bruceski: Aug 21, 2007; The tools of a hero mean nothing without a solid core.

IRQ posted:

And you only managed to hit 95? Way to go grandma.

A bend in the road appeared 10 miles away and we got nervous.

# ¿ Mar 14, 2018 19:08

Bruceski: Aug 21, 2007; The tools of a hero mean nothing without a solid core.

Timby posted:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=epaCzVqjaME

YOU CAN HEAR THE WHALES

"You won't find that trail on a map, despite it being paved and maintained in the same style as all the other coastal overlooks around here. Cartographers don't leave here alive."

# ¿ Jul 3, 2018 18:18

Bruceski: Aug 21, 2007; The tools of a hero mean nothing without a solid core.

Gonz posted:

The best IKEA ad.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cdoIyRmGN3o

I lost it at REDRUG

# ¿ Aug 13, 2018 03:49

Bruceski: Aug 21, 2007; The tools of a hero mean nothing without a solid core.

packetmantis posted:

Apparently Kars4Kids is an Orthodox Jewish front to get less-hardcore Jewish families to convert.

Huh, I didn't know about Oorah. Chabad's the main one for that sort of thing.

Also in Oregon K4K got busted about ten years ago for giving donors a "vacation" that was a timeshare sales pitch. Check folks out before you donate, don't just go for the jingle.

# ¿ Aug 21, 2018 05:12

Bruceski: Aug 21, 2007; The tools of a hero mean nothing without a solid core.

Ugly In The Morning posted:

I�ve had to go to a 911 call where someone with a diagnosed severe apple allergy ate an apple. And I don�t mean, ate something with apples in it, I mean just bit into a big juicy apple because he took a Claritin that day and thought he�d be fine. People are stupid.

This is why I I've got a blanket ban on the most common cross-contact vectors for my peanut allergy (chocolate and tree nuts). It's not as silly as your example but I don't want to go through life thinking "well this SHOULD be okay".

# ¿ Sep 14, 2018 19:26

Bruceski: Aug 21, 2007; The tools of a hero mean nothing without a solid core.

WampaLord posted:

"It makes you smell good" applies to every sort of cologne/perfume, but people want specific scents, and until we invent Smell-O-Vision, these ads will remain weird.

Oh God that's a horrifying idea. I'm extremely sensitive to fragrances and don't want to be bombarded by whatever a sales company thinks is "sunshine fresh".

# ¿ Dec 15, 2018 01:43

Bruceski: Aug 21, 2007; The tools of a hero mean nothing without a solid core.

packetmantis posted:

I was in marching band and drumlines are very much a thing in those.

Back in college my cousin was in one of those drumline competitions that got nationally televised. We watched and cheered because that's what you do. I can appreciate the skill and coordination, but it doesn't make me go wow.

# ¿ Jan 1, 2019 05:56

Bruceski: Aug 21, 2007; The tools of a hero mean nothing without a solid core.

On a different note, I use the Youtube App to watch some TV shows (so ~30 mins) and while some just show an ad at the beginning others will interrupt with one every five minutes. Are there different levels of monetization people can put on their uploads, or does the algorithm just occasionally decide "screw you, here's a bunch of poo poo"?

# ¿ Mar 26, 2019 19:14

Bruceski: Aug 21, 2007; The tools of a hero mean nothing without a solid core.

muscles like this! posted:

From what I've heard is that once you're over a certain time limit (IIRC 10 minutes) you can put in as many or as few ads as you want.

Well balls.

# ¿ Mar 26, 2019 20:40

Bruceski: Aug 21, 2007; The tools of a hero mean nothing without a solid core.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wtz9bt9g7_o

I think they just pulled some old horror movie footage.

# ¿ Mar 28, 2019 20:24

Bruceski: Aug 21, 2007; The tools of a hero mean nothing without a solid core.

Anyone else see "Trivago spokesperson" and immediately think they were talking about the gnome?

# ¿ Apr 13, 2019 03:47

Bruceski: Aug 21, 2007; The tools of a hero mean nothing without a solid core.

Account McAccount posted:

Some peoples kids kept trying to touch a lady's disability dog and the parents didn't stop them despite her saying "no" so they cursed her the gently caress out, in front of their kids.

Ah, so not Disney being lovely, someone being lovely and childish at Disneyland combined with a "you don't have to grow up" ad.

# ¿ Apr 16, 2019 18:21

Bruceski: Aug 21, 2007; The tools of a hero mean nothing without a solid core.

Mahoning posted:

So nearly every ad that I see on streaming services like Hulu is terrible, especially since you see the same ones over and over.

But one set that I�ve been seeing a lot of lately that I think are so clever and charming are the new LEGO ads.

I can�t find them on YouTube or anything but they all take place at an airport gate with the (LEGO) gate agent announcing over the loudspeaker to the (LEGO) passengers why the flight is delayed with funny reasons:

-the wings are the plane are gone
-economy plus is gone, with a garbage truck in its place
-there are now 9 sets of wheels and we�ll be taxiing to the destination
-etc.

So your basic transfer through O'Hare.

# ¿ Aug 27, 2019 03:08

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# ¿ Apr 17, 2024 00:44

Bruceski: Aug 21, 2007; The tools of a hero mean nothing without a solid core.

First time my macho AWD posturing encountered a Portland freeze (the typical drizzle + temperatures dipping below freezing = everything under half an inch of wet ice for a week) I learned that it doesn't help if no tire has traction. That ended the machismo for me. On the other hand it saved my bacon when I hit a blizzard in the last fifteen minutes of a four-hour trip, managed to carefully get to the end when other cars weren't going anywhere.

# ¿ Sep 20, 2019 19:54

The Something Awful Forums > The Finer Arts > TV IV > The bing to the McNugget bong, the ding to the dong: Ads You Hate.

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